Devotion Chapter Twenty-Four: When "I Love You" Isn't Enough
Disclaimer: I don't have anything to do with *NSYNC. I don't know anything about their sexuality, either. There. I hope you like this chapter! If you do, feel free to tell me The address is up top. Thanks! -Angel1313 ^_^
"So do you think they've made up yet?" Justin asked the man who was sitting behind him. Suddenly, the blonde let out an involuntary yelp, his hand shooting up to his scalp. "Sorry, Curly," JC said immediately, pausing a moment from braiding the younger man's hair. Leaning down to kiss the top of the nineteen year-old's head, he whispered, "I didn't mean to hurt you." Settling back against his best friend, Justin murmured, "I'm fine. Didn't mean to jump like that." Digging around in the box of Chinese food he had in his hand, the nineteen year-old picked out a piece of chicken and gingerly lifted it out of the box with his chopsticks. "Open up," he commanded the brunette behind him, whose hands were busy. JC leaned foreword and accepted the food. "Thanks, Just." The two sat in a comfortable silence, with JC concentrating on plaiting the younger man's curly hair, and Justin eating quietly, lost in thought. "Josh," he finally spoke up, breaking the peaceful moment. "Does it bother you? I mean, having to pretend to be something you're not?" "Does it bother you?" JC shot back, but his voice was soft, as he continued to work with the teen's unruly hair. "Sometimes," Justin whispered, unusually somber. JC stopped what he was doing. "Justin," he said, gently sliding his arms around the younger man's waist. Justin immediately leaned back against the brunette. "I didn't mean to bring you down. But you know what? I don't mind having to hide in public because I know that I'll always have you, and with you, well, I can be me. I know that's really cheesy, but it's true. I'd be lost with out you." "I love you Josh," the nineteen year-old whispered in return, his eyes fixed on the box of sweet and sour chicken in his hand. JC gently leaned foreword so his head was resting against Justin's shoulder. He took a deep breath before replying, "I know, Jus, I love you, too. But look at Lance and Joey. Look what happened to them. I don't want that for us, Justin. I love you too much to lose you." Setting down the food he had been holding, Justin wiggled out of the older man's embrace. He quickly whirled around and readjusted himself in-between the brunette's legs. As JC reached out and wrapped his arms around the nineteen year-old, Justin began to speak again, his voice soft, and a shy smile on his face. "Josh, you won't lose me. Ever. Not even if you want to." JC smiled, and Justin grew more confident. "I love you. You love me. End of story. It doesn't matter that Lance and Joey's relationship didn't work out. And who knows? Maybe it will. But they don't have what we do, Josh. When I'm with you, I just, I don't know! I feel complete. I need you in my life, I always will. I-" "Justin," the twenty-four year-old interrupted the younger man. "You may say that now, and I believe that you mean it, but that's now. Who's to say that down the road in our relationship, if we changed it, you wouldn't suddenly find that it's not what you expected. What if you didn't like where we were headed? What if we broke up? How would that effect the group? How would that effect our friendship? Those are risks I'm not willing to take." Justin's eyes began to fill up with tears. The quiet, child-like voice returned as he asked. "Why, Josh?" /He doesn't need to answer that,/ a voice in the young man's head mocked him. /You know why. He doesn't think you're worth it. He made that pretty obvious./ "Nevermind," Justin muttered quickly, turning his head away in unsuccessful attempt to hide his tears. "Justin," JC whispered, pulling the younger man closer. "I don't want to hurt you, Justin." Burying his head in the older man's chest, Justin sobbed, "You probably think I'm just a big baby, don't you? I'm always crying and hanging around you. I'm sorry, Josh. I don't want to be like this." "Justin," said the name in disbelief, astonished by what he was hearing. "Have I ever called you a baby?" "Yes," the blonde choked out. "Just, have I ever meant it in a bad way? No, of course not. Just, you're a baby sometimes, but you're *my* baby, and I wouldn't trade you for anything or for anyone. I hate to see you cry, but I'm glad to be here to help you get through it. And I love having you around. Why else would I spend so much time with you? You're my best friend first and foremost, and I'll always be here for you. We promised to never leave the other's side, remember?" Justin continued to cling to the brunette, who was rubbing the younger man's back soothingly. "Say it like you mean it," he quietly demanded, his voice carrying a note of desperation. Placing a hand under Justin's chin, JC lifted the nineteen year-old's face so the younger man met him in the eye. "Justin," he stated firmly, gazing softly into his best friend's eyes. "I will always be by your side. Through sickness and health, for rich or for poor, for better or for worse." Justin's tear streaked face broke into a warm smile. Chuckling quietly, he whispered, "Thanks, Josh. But how did you say that with a straight face?" "Sweetheart," JC replied, doing his best "girlfriend" voice. "I *never* have a *straight* face." Pushing the brunette playfully, Justin laughed, "Josh, you are *so* corny!" "Yeah, yeah," JC muttered good naturedly, moving the nineteen year-old around in his arms. "Now turn around so I can finish up with your hair." Justin obliged and got comfortable, looping his arms under the older man's knees. Beginning to absently stroke JC's calves, Justin mused, "So do you think they got back together or what?" "Well, I think that it's a good thing that the shouting stopped, but beyond that, you got me. I mean, Lance sounded pretty pissed, and it seemed like they had a lot of underlying problems that they had to work out," JC replied thoughtfully. "Well, I think it will work out if it's meant to," Justin put in. "Nothing can tear true love apart." "Not even death," JC added, smiling a little. "So if the next time someone in an SUV tries to run me over, they succeed, you're going to be haunted by my ghost." "Don't even joke about that!" Justin protested, but he was smiling. The two sat in silence again until JC finally finished Justin's hair. "There!" he exclaimed, standing up. "All done." Justin allowed himself to be helped up before heading over to the mirror. "It's perfect, Josh. Thank you," he smiled, admiring the older man's handiwork. "Well, it's easy when your subject is perfect to begin with," JC replied, giving the nineteen year-old a cheesy grin. /I love you so much,/ Justin mentally told the older man. But after the conversation they had just had, he decided to simply give the brunette a hug. "Thanks, Josh. You're always so sweet." "So are you," the twenty-four year-old whispered, holding Justin gently in his arms. They were both leaning foreword so their foreheads touched. Trying to resist the urge to claim the younger man's soft lips with his own, JC pulled back and asked, "So, what do you want to do for the rest of the night?" Justin sighed inwardly. He knew that JC had felt it; he had seen the brunette glance at his lips, he knew that JC wanted the same thing that he did. Why was he being so stubborn? He knew that the older man loved him, and Justin had told JC that he felt the same way. Justin sighed again, this time out loud. It seemed that perhaps he felt more. "Just?" JC asked, his concern-filled voice shaking the blonde from his reverie. "You all right? You seem sort of down." "I'm just a little tired, that's all," Justin lied. He was tired, but that certainly wasn't all that was wrong. "Oh, and you'll be up early tomorrow, too," JC said sympathetically. "Maybe we should just watch a movie or something." "Okay, but nothing scary. I need to be able to get some sleep, you know," Justin agreed. Smiling, JC replied, "Okay. Nothing scary. We could watch a..." "Romance?" Justin supplied. JC blushed. "That's *not* what I had in mind, but if you want to watch some sugary `boy meets girl and they live happily ever after' flick, then sure." Justin laughed. "Okay, so you clearly don't want to go in that direction. Why don't we just see what's on?" JC nodded and walked over to the TV. "Why don't you get ready for bed?" he suggested to the blonde. "Hey, you have to brush your teeth, too," Justin complained. "I'm not snuggling with someone who smells like Chinese food." Rolling his eyes, JC replied, "Oh, just give me a second. I'm going to check what's on." Justin left to brush his teeth, and JC checked the listings. "Well, everything's either already started or is going to start in an hour or so except this one called `Being There.' It has a good review, maybe we should check it out," the brunette informed the younger man, walking into the bathroom. "Sounds good," Justin responded, placing his hands on the twenty-four year-old's hips as he passed him. "I'm gonna go get comfy. My bed or yours?" "Either; the TV's between them," JC replied, squirting some toothpaste onto his brush. "All right," Justin said. Deepening his voice to a huskier tone, he added, "I'll be waiting for you." Rolling his eyes playfully, JC laughed. "You do that, Just." Justin walked over to the small space between the two beds and tried to decide between them. "Hmm, sleep with Josh in my bed? Sleep with Josh in his bed? Sleep with Josh just in general?" Justin giggled to himself. /If he's already in his bed, then he can't leave if I fall asleep,/ the nineteen year-old thought with another giggle. "Josh's bed it is," he decided, hopping on to the brunette's bed. Clicking off the TV, JC glanced down at the young man in his arms, a small smile playing upon his lips. As soon as they had gotten on the bed, Justin had cuddled up against the brunette, and he remained with his head against the older man's chest, and his arms hooked around his friend's lithe waist even as he had drifted off to sleep. JC gently leaned down and kissed the nineteen year-old on his braids before slowly sliding out from the younger man's grip. He then gently tucked Justin in. After the blonde had gotten comfortable again, JC made his way over to the other bed and sat down. Glancing at the clock, he picked up the phone and dialed the front desk. "Hi, I'd like to request a wake-up call for seven AM tomorrow morning. Yes, for Justin. What? Oh, Chasez. Thank you. Good night." With that, JC hung up the phone. He looked back over at his bed and, to his surprise, JC found Justin lying on his side, facing the older man. His eyes were half closed with sleep, but he was still gazing intently at the brunette. "Josh," the nineteen year-old whispered, his voice huskier then usual, as he had just woken up. "Come back to bed." Smiling, JC walked back over to the bed and hopped on to it, stepping over the teenager laying in it. As the twenty-four year-old got settled back in, Justin turned and watched him. "Who were you on the phone with?" the blonde asked, snuggling close to his best friend, his arms now wrapped securely around the other man's neck. "Just setting up your wake-up call, sweetie," JC whispered back, pulling Justin closer. "Now get some sleep, it's gonna be early." Yawning, Justin's only reply was, "I love you, Josh." Sighing sadly, JC murmured, "I love you, too, Curly. I love you, too." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little depressing, ne? Well, I hope you liked it anyway, they finally had their talk ^_^ You are always welcome to send me feedback, even if you're angry and you just want to yell, er, type in all capitols =D Thanks again!!