Development

Development

By Journeyman Harper

This story is a flashback to a prequel. If you are reading this for the first time, it will make more sense if you ready the baseline story, "Legacy" first. If you decide to skip that, and dive in here you will find a self-contained work inside the lead-in and lead-out text. Many thanks to those who kept asking for the prequel.

Star Trek, Deep Space Nine, etc. are all property of Paramount Studios. All other characters are works of fiction and bear no resemblance to anyone whatsoever, etc.

Welcome to Development!

Kerryn and Jacen lay in each other's arms, panting. It had been especially good today. It was Jacen's seventeenth birthday, and they had been together now as lovers and partners for a year.

The mental link during their sex was never stronger, and Jacen relished being so enclosed and protected. It was the answer to all the loneliness he had always experienced. He was himself, that was true, but he could always come back to the one who would protect him, support him and love him. That knowledge filled him with profound and deep joy.

Kerryn could feel the good feelings radiate from Jacen. A flicker echoed through his mind that he had never had that kind of security from another person. He had always been on the edge. Not adventurous, but independent, and usually with others depending upon him. The long years of being the only reliable supplier of cargo through the Aurigaen Belt had been formative, that way. That civilization had depended upon him and his father.

Jacen felt the wandering of his lover's mind, somehow, and realized that he still didn't know very much about the Kerryn before they met, especially well before. Wesley Crusher had told him some things, but some were also second hand, or rumor. He felt suddenly a burning curiosity to know.

"Kerryn?"

"Mmm?"

Jacen grinned. Kerryn was tired. "You old men tire so easily."

"Ha. Someday I'll tell you about Zink." Now where did that come from?

Jacen pounced on the opportunity. "Zink? I think I hear a story I'd like to hear." He shifted slightly, and he felt Kerryn's cock nestle back against his butt. Jacen loved the intimacy. "I know so little about you before."

"I've given you the highlights."

"Yes, but I want to know more." He then took a daring chance. "I don't suppose you could remember it into my head?"

Kerryn was startled. "I've never thought of that. Reliving a memory into someone else? It might take a while."

"We've got all night."

Kerryn grinned. "You really want this?" He reached over and stroked Jacen's cock gently, sensually. "More than that?"

Jacen took a deep breath. Kerryn was such an incredible lover. But his thirst for knowledge deepened. How did he learn it all? "For now, yes. I want to know it all, Kerryn."

"All right." Kerryn sighed. Jacen had no idea what he was going in for.

Naked and spooning, Kerryn snuggled as close as he could to Jacen, their bodies fitting perfectly together. Shoulders wrapped in arms, arms across chest, heads together on the pillow, Kerryn slipped into Jacen's facile mind and searched back in his own memories. Surprisingly, they were there, and as he opened his mental eyes back to his earliest recollections, he felt and heard Jacen gasp in awareness. And the tapestry of Kerryn's life began to unfold.

He cried. It had been a week since she had left. She had explained it carefully to him, her mental touch soft and reassuring, yet sad at the same time. She loved him, and he loved her, and they had shared that last mental exchange before she left. Even now, he understood that it made her feel so trapped and closed in on their home ship. But he missed her. And his father was very sad too.

Little Kerryn was five Earth years old. It was his birthday. It flashed through him that it was mean for her to leave just before his birthday, but somehow he understood that she had to. He had been able to help his mother through the worst of it, sharing with her the memories of her homeworld and the open air and skies that he someday might see. But it had gotten harder and harder.

There was a big word for it. Claustrophobia. It was a word that meant, to little Kerryn, that people got very scared in small places. He loved small places, and could be found at times hiding inside the smallest nook or cranny of their ship. But when you are a freighter family, nearly all your time is spent in space and in the closed-in confines of your ship.

Doryn had joined his Betazoid wife seven years ago. Analee Fori was a full Betazoid who, feeling the confines of the Betazoid society had broken free and gone out as a trader's assistant. She had met Doryn on Delvin Six, the Freighter's Guild home planet during one of his brief stopovers. After meeting to negotiate cargo, she had been caught off guard by Doryn's sparkling eyes and easy manner. Her grin had gotten her fired by her trader, and Doryn had felt so badly that the he took her out to dinner. A brief courtship followed, and the next time Doryn visited Delvin Six, she left with him.

They had never formally married. Somehow, neither was quite ready to take that ultimate step but they each were totally devoted to each other. Doryn painted the walls to minimize the closed-in effects of the ship, and for a while they were happy.

Then, little Kerryn was born. With quite a normal birth on Delvin Six, he spent the first couple months on the planet with his mother. When he was able to walk, and had begun talking in his often strident voice, they had embraced him and decided that it was time to resume their shipboard life style.

That transition did not go well. For one thing, Analee began to suffer the closed-in paranoia of claustrophobia again. Controllable, but anxious. Doryn became worried when she did not adapt back to the lifestyle. But more prevalent than that, little Kerryn screamed through his Terrible Twos, laughed and shrieked with joy through the threes, tried to dominate the universe in the Formidable Fours, and in general was loud, busy and a physical and emotional drain on his parents. Being in space, there were no nannies, very few play dates, and no one he could really call a friend. And that meant no relief for the parents.

So, here he was on his fifth birthday. His father was trying to be cheerful, but Kerryn was half Betazoid and he could already see through people's bluffs. So after some cake, and a neat holographic target game, he decided to try talking to his father.

"Daddy, will we ever see mommy again?"

Doryn felt the absence flood him. What could he say? "Little Kerryn, I don't know. Maybe someday we can take the long trip and visit Betazed where she lives. Or maybe she will come visit us."

The little boy nodded. "I guess we will have to wait and see, right?"

"That's right."

"Well, I'll do just what she used to do so that the ship and you won't miss her."

Doryn regarded his little boy with pride. "That would be a big help."

They each went out of their way for each other to cover the gap left by Analee. Doryn knew it was unlikely she would return. But just the same, he could not let the idea wither away so fast. But it was not mentioned between them again for a very long time.

Kerryn fundamentally changed that day. It was as if years of idle childhood were washed away on a sandy beach. Sure, he played with his toys, but he spent more time watching his father. With no other guardian, he spent more time with his father when Doryn negotiated deals, loaded and unloaded the cargo, and went about the general business of a freighter pilot.

For extended appointments, most starbases and freighter exchange facilities had child-care play centers. Kerryn met Illiar at one such location when he was seven. With only one parent, and many exchange points to visit Kerryn was very likely to see the same cluster of children occasionally. He had seen Illiar before but never really met him. This time, though the children were playing space ship and both Kerryn and Illiar wanted to be captain.

They stood in the middle of their group, eyeing each other closely as only children can do. Kerryn, being seven and slightly younger, spoke first.

"I think I should be captain."

Illiar frowned. "Why you? It's my turn."

"I wasn't here yesterday. I get credit for being new today."

"Then you don't know our rules. That means you can't be captain."

The adults watched in amused amazement as the two boys negotiated for position. Finally, after everything from strength, height, voice, experience, and number of planets visited was exchanged, Kerryn rolled his eyes.

"All right, you can be captain if I can be Admiral."

Illiar fell for it. "Deal." He paused. "What's an Admiral?"

"The one who gives the captain the orders."

Illiar sighed. "All right." He straightened. "My name is Illiar."

"I'm Kerryn. You were tough."

"So were you."

On that basis the friendship started. The strengths of the two boys were obvious. Illiar was a charmer. His winsome smile, his magical presence and his enthusiasm were a positive flow throughout whoever was near by. Kerryn was competent, stable, and almost obsessive with detail. Once he got wrapped up in a project, he would not deviate from it until either it was completed or it exploded. The latter more often happened in play when the group would tire of the same game.

Such an explosion took place during one of the visits when Illiar was there with Kerryn. They were building a structure with interlocking blocks, and Kerryn insisted over and over on a proper foundation. It took an hour longer, and most of the children were bored because their fortress wasn't done for play yet. Finally, Illiar had to say something.

"Kerryn, forget about the bottom. We need the rest of it. Everyone is tired of building rows."

"But it has to be done, otherwise it won't stay up. It's only a few more-"

"That's what you said the last few times."

Kerryn dug in. "It won't stay up if we don't."

"No one will want to play if we do."

They stared at each other. And then Kerryn burst out, "Fine. Go play. I'll finish this alone and then we can all use it."

The other kids went off to other things. Kerryn went back to his rows. Illiar stood there, and then followed the group. Kerryn finished another set of rows, and then the tears flowed. Silently. Why did he have to do this? Couldn't he just let it go? But then, it wouldn't be done right and it would fall down. He put another row on. Eighteen more and he would be done. The others were laughing, maybe at him, maybe not. Was it fair for them to play and he to do this alone? Inside him, it said yes, because that was what he said he would do. Resolution surprising for one his age bloomed through him. Whatever it took, even if he died a miserable, horrible, lonely death from being crushed by these interlocking blocks, this toy structure would be finished. So there!

He looked up and saw Illiar standing next to him. He knew Illiar could see the tears on his face. Defiantly, he said, "It won't stay up if we don't do it right."

"It's OK." And Illiar started to lay on another row.

The teachers watched the entire exchange, and Doryn was informed that Kerryn was ready for the Educational Program, even though it was two years early.

Two weeks later, Kerryn was fully immersed in the Educational Program Unit, or EPU. The EPU was a guided tutorial system with student monitoring and feedback. It would pace the student at the right pace, and could recognize signs of boredom or distraction. Reports on progress were sent both to the parents as well as to the Freighter Guild, which was truly a pseudo-nation in its care of its members.

The EPU fascinated Kerryn. He got the hang of the controls quickly, and Doryn set aside an entire cabin for it with lots of table space and materials. He then imparted the most valuable information that Kerryn would ever learn.

"Neatness enables everything. You should use and keep this room neat and organized. Things get dirty, and can get cleaned up, and that's OK. Dirt happens. But mess, clutter, piles of stuff, disorganization, there is no room for that on a ship. It doesn't have to be attractive, either. But it does have to be organized." And Doryn showed his son both by example and by instruction how important it truly was.

"Thanks, Dad."

Doryn regarded his almost nine-year-old son with pride. "Kerryn, from now on as well I want you with me when we negotiate. You will need that too."

Kerryn grinned. "I've done pretty well so far."

"We'll see."

The trip through the Aurigaen Belt was upon them. This was the longest string of short exchanges, and it would be four months before they emerged. Kerryn saw an opportunity and decided to snag it.

"Anyway, father, the EPU is very happy with me."

Doryn could smell a rat. "Yes, it has reported your excellent progress."

"Well, it is customary for work well done to receive compensation."

"True. Your customary compensation is room, board, and care on this ship."

"Agreed, but that is more your obligation than compensation. I am your blood descendant and responsibility until age sixteen."

Doryn couldn't fault that. "I will concede that, although you do have more than obligatory accommodations here under my purview."

"So then, beyond my personal motivation, I have no incentive to excel at the EPU?"

Doryn chuckled. "Big words!"

"Chalk it up to the EPU. Point, though?"

Doryn knew he was cornered. "Conceded. What did you have in mind?"

Kerryn took a deep breath. "Access to the subspace nets. I want to talk with my friends."

"Subspace costs money."

"Isn't proper socialization part of my obligatory upbringing?"

"Now you are on two tracks!" Doryn grinned. "Never do that. You are faulting me on lack of socialization as well as justifying the cost as a reward for good progress."

"You are changing the subject." Kerryn knew that one cold.

They stood, and Doryn tried his playful tactic. "What were we talking about?"

An opportunity! "You were granting me access to the subspace nets at no cost."

"NO COST?!!"

Kerryn grinned.

Doryn clapped his hands. He was good. "What will you do to offset the cost of the subspace access, should I grant it?"

Kerryn took a long breath. "I would think about any options you would have."

Doryn nodded slowly. "Here are my terms. I want you to optimize ship performance. We lose money hiring engineers to tune the ship systems. You do the maintenance and repair, and the difference I will allocate to the cost of the subspace nets."

Kerryn's face fell. "That will take some time to accrue before I can get on the nets."

"Deal?"

Kerryn sighed. It was a good deal. "Deal."

"Good. Now, as a reward for excellent performance, I will give you the cost of a year's unlimited access to the subspace nets."

Suspicious. "A year on what planet?"

Doryn chuckled. "An Earth year."

Doryn was not ready for what happened next. Kerryn leaped onto his father in a huge hug. "Thanks so much, Dad!" Neither of them were demonstrative under normal circumstances, but this moment spanned many years of much- needed family interaction. And so Kerryn joined the spread- out community of his friends.

That community became his lifeline. When Kerryn turned twelve, he had completed the EPU, four years ahead of schedule. Doryn then updated the unit for the Basic Navigation and Operations program, and Kerryn was introduced into the virtual world of piloting small one-seat ships.

His first flight was memorable. After completing all the theory for flight, he sat in the simulation chair, and studied the controls. A Level One cockpit had a flight stick, thrust and counter-thrust, and navigation displays. He sat, wiggled the stick, played with the buttons, and then started the simulation. The instructions gave him all lights green, and he gave some thrust which blasted him off and immediately into a bulkhead, crashing. Less than two seconds.

But he got better. Within three weeks he was doing acrobatics, could land and launch flawlessly, and could execute maneuvers that sent his father to the toilet. He continued the EPU program, and flight training until as a single pilot there wasn't a ship he couldn't fly. The Level Two cockpit added additional controls, warp drive, shields and phasers. Kerryn played war games with the simulated dogfights, and eventually coordination of squads.

At age thirteen, he hit Level Three. Level Three added two key features to the program: command of a small crew on a larger ship, and subspace networking to other players. The simulators were not sophisticated like a holodeck would be, but audio cues and verbal commands were used to guide and control the ships. Kerryn practiced and practiced and practiced with his four-person crew until one day an invitation appeared on his subspace link.

Dear Simulator Pilot:

We are organizing an exercise for the Flight participants and would like you to participate. If interested, please submit your evaluation record for consideration and placement.

Regards,

Commander, Freighter Guild Pre-Flight School

"DAD!!!"

Doryn entered the classroom. "Something going on?"

"Look at this!" Kerryn showed his father the message. "Any idea what this is about?"

Doryn knew. As a child, his best friend had gotten one. "Kerryn, that is a very rare ticket into flight school. Very few kids get them." He grinned widely, and explained that the school conducted a subspace-networked exercise among the selected pilots in their simulators as a pre-qualifying run for Flight School. "If you get in, and perform as advertised, you get invited to Flight School! I'm so proud of you, Kerryn!"

Together they signaled acknowledgement, and the evaluation profile was sent. Kerryn waited anxiously for a few days for a response, but these things are slow to act. Illiar had been invited too, and that just fueled their excitement.

Kerryn and Illiar had been in almost daily contact now that he had subspace access. Illiar's parents were wealthy, and had a much larger and more modern vessel than the Totentanz. Both were well respected in the Guild. Once in a while the two vessels would cross paths, and nearly always they would stop together for a few hours of camaraderie. They were growing, although Illiar was nowhere near as far along on the EPU as Kerryn was.

He finished up the advanced EPU program, and then one day en route when he was working on the warp drive it started dumping diagnostics on him. The problem was, they were all in Romulan. The Totentanz used a modified Romulan warp core for propulsion, and while the main parts of the core used Interlac to communicate, the diagnostics were still in Romulan. Kerryn started swearing, and called up to the Nav deck.

"Dad, I'm back here in Propulsion. We've got a problem."

"Oh?"

"We're going to have half efficiency on the warp core. There are diagnostics everywhere but they are all in Romulan. Do you know any Romulan?"

"Only a few fragments. Keep an eye on it, but we'll get a tech at the next starbase to look at it."

A few moments, then, "I'm sorry."

Doryn laughed. "Not your fault."

Later, on impulse, Kerryn connected the EPU to subspace and tried to search for a module on languages. Romulan drive systems were popular in the Guild, and as a result he found several modules on conversational Romulan language, formal High Romulan and Technical Romulan. Downloading all three, Kerryn dug into language as his next course of study.

He told Illiar about it, but Illiar shrugged. "What good is Romulan if no one else speaks it?"

Kerryn grinned. "Just imagine if you and I could."

Illiar laughed. "Well, we could confuse our parents, that's for sure. Speaking of which, when are you coming out of the Belt?"

"Three weeks. What's up?"

"Mom and Dad want to invite you to stay with us on one of the short cargo runs for a sleep-over."

"ILLIAR! That would be so cool! I'll have to ask Dad."

"Sure, but let the parents set it up. You know how they are."

Kerryn nodded, and they signed off.

Their acceptance for the simulation came the next day. Both were to be members of a squad of four single-seat ships that would be asked to go through some maneuvers. There would be eight sessions, and the ratings would be released after all sessions were complete. Both Kerryn and Illiar checked their simulator configurations, and while Illiar was comfortably equipped, Kerryn's just scraped by. He hoped that they would take that into account.

Kerryn figured out how to link his simulator to Illiar's and they began some practice together over the subspace link. Kerryn found that his friend tended to overcorrect a bit. Illiar did not complain about his flying, so he guessed it was OK. It was key to the underlying philosophy that Kerryn had always adhered to: do it right.

With so much time on the Totentanz, and his regular exercise of running the decks alternating with the EPU, Kerryn absorbed much more schooling than just about any other kid his age. He loved it, though, and the subspace chats with several of his friends provided the right balance. He hoped they got in to Flight School. That would at least bring them all together in the same place for a while.

The warp core acted up again, but this time Kerryn had enough Romulan to be able to understand the problem. It always came back to flow regulators and relays. He became adept at switching them, and when the tech did come to service the engines (Doryn was no engineer) Kerryn watched and learned, fascinated.

The night before the flight exercise, he and his father had dinner together. Doryn had realized that he had less and less contact with Kerryn, but dinner slipped into their regular and familiar ways. It was then that Doryn had some news for him.

"Kerryn, you are now thirteen years old. We have one more week in the Belt, and then we're going to take a break. Illiar's parents have asked for a sleep-over, and we've agreed on four days on their ship, a rendez-vous at Starbase 290, and then four days on Totentanz. How does that sound to you?"

"ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!! Thanks, Dad!" Kerryn could hardly sit still. "Will we have cargo?"

"Yes, we have an easy run to Mobius. I'm actually going to take Totentanz in at Starbase 290 for a systems overhaul and do some guard duty on Invincible. I'm up for my rotation."

"Cool! What're we getting?"

"Upgraded subspace and a simulator upgrade for you. A new navigation computer, and some hull skin."

"Can we afford all that?"

Doryn nodded. "Yes. I am also getting you the complete Starfleet EPU sequence."

Kerryn's jaw dropped. "Starfleet?"

"It's everyone's dream, Kerryn, to go live in a world with no money and the best technology. You are about to hit the age limit in the Guild EPUs. May as well glean what you can from Starfleet."

"Dad, you are amazing."

"One other thing. Have you finished the Guild Ship Operations sequence?"

"Yes, last week."

"Good. You now have duty shifts starting today. Mostly when I am too tired, but at least a couple of hours a day and on demand."

"Wow, Dad! Thanks!"

Kerryn was so charged that night he barely slept. Doryn looked in on him once. The little boy he knew was growing up fast. He already had longer hair than Doryn liked, but oh well. And he was in great shape. A little experience and he would be quite the lady killer. All the more reason to get him trained and confident now.

Morning came, and the launch of the exercise. Kerryn and Illiar were in different squads. No names were allowed, but each was designated with a color and a number. Kerryn was Gold Four. He later found out that Illiar had been Blue One.

The first run was all straight maneuvers. They had to form different patterns - diamonds, lines, diagonals, and more, and hold them through turns and loops. Trivial stuff. Commands came from the simulator itself, which was identified as Gold Zero.

The second sequence involved pairs. Again, Gold Zero gave commands and Gold Three and Four paired against One and Two. More maneuvers. The third sequence added three other squads for a group of sixteen.

The fourth sequence was a race. Everyone had to chase down a target and get a tractor lock on it. The trick was, the target was fast and smart, so all those who blasted their fuel away in the beginning ran out of power at the end. Kerryn and a few others had an eye for conservatism, so they held out longer. But by some good celestial navigation, Kerryn was able to slingshot around a white dwarf star and gain enough momentum and a lucky intercept course that he was able to get a tractor lock on the target.

Sequence five was in groups of eight. The difference was that a student was a group leader. Most of the candidates had trouble with this, but since Kerryn had been through Guild Flight Operations on the EPU, he could plan and achieve the objective. Hence, when it was his turn to command, things went smoothly and predictably. Gold Two was a terrible leader, but One and Three were OK.

Sequences six and seven were in groups of sixteen, with command rotating among several of the different students, and complicated objectives. No one, not even Kerryn met all the objectives for the exercise. But Kerryn met as many as than anyone else in his group for these sequences.

It was sequence eight that scared Kerryn. Rather than orders being displayed and time allowed for planning, a scenario outlay came out. They were all a part of a virtual ship, operating in different departments. All thirty two participants were involved. And when the screen showed the crew assignments, he found Illiar first as Operations Officer. Kerryn's assignment: Captain.

"Oh shit." That echoed among the muttering. But he knew Illiar heard it.

The simulation began, and there were no objectives visible. What were they supposed to do? A moment's panic washed through him. He was not ready for this. Sure, simulations were one thing, but he had a whole crew of live people now. That was different. He froze a bit.

Amid the muttering, he heard Illiar call out humorously, "Captain On the Bridge." That brought a round of nervous laugher, and it shocked him into the realization that that meant him. The engineering curiosity took hold, and he wondered what kind of ship they were on, anyway?

"Welcome aboard whatever we are on." After that, Kerryn's first command was a full ship status assessment, and that apparently was right because there were problems in the warp core that got fixed, misalignments in the sensors, and a variance in shields. He prioritized them, and as the attention was given by his virtual crew, the problems went away. Within thirty simulation minutes, they were in best form. He organized on-shifts and off-shifts in two-hour intervals.

Hmm. He checked cargo manifests, found that his ship was empty and there was cargo waiting for him at the starbase. Without fixing the warp core, they would never have made it. As it was, he hit Warp Five to get there. Cargo was volatile in atmosphere, so the cargo bay was depressurized and in the process a pump went bad. But they had fixed the backup earlier, so all was well. The rest of the simulation was spent delivering the cargo, and running routine diagnostics.

After that, many of the crew relaxed. But Kerryn, being frugal even in simulation, undocked and moved out to a high- altitude orbit so as not to be charged docking fees. This proved fortuitous, as plague was brought aboard the station after their departure and it would have killed half the crew and caused financial disaster. This was obviously a test on many levels.

Six hours they had been in the simulators. Kerryn realized there was another test here as he rubbed his eyes in fatigue, and gave the conn to his first officer with instructions. The moment he did this, his display went blank. No results showed up and the simulator was clearly running, so he assumed he must be asleep. He knew there was an audible wake-up alarm, so he did lean back and close his eyes for a bit.

His simulator gave him a loud alert, and the display started counting down from 20. At zero, it came full up and Kerryn swore. His first officer got them into an asteroid field and they were being pummeled. Taking command, he immediately slowed out of warp, gave full power to the shields and looked at the log. They had taken on a cargo of antimatter. Antimatter in an asteroid field was like the twentieth- century analogy of tap-dancing in a mine field. They were probably goners. He let loose a verbal stream of swearing in Romulan, and surveyed the field.

There was a path out if you went upwards. Flinging commands at his Navigation officer, they swung up only to have their starboard warp nacelle slammed by an asteroid. Fortunately, it broke cleanly away and on a different trajectory, so that when it did detonate and spew plasma everywhere, they were away. Five minutes later they cleared the field, and limped towards the nearest starbase.

Ship's damage was severe. It would be weeks before they reached a starbase. They had no communications other than short range. They needed help, as they were essentially in a space coffin. The warp core was shot, they were on ship sustain only, and would exhaust their resources. There was only one thing to do.

"Cargo, this is the captain."

"Roger."

"Release the cargo into space. Helm, move us to a safe distance."

A minute, then, "Captain, cargo is released and is now at one million kilometers."

"Tactical, target the cargo and fire phasers."

"Sir? That will destroy the cargo."

"Yes, it will. An explosion that big will surely have an someone here within hours instead of us starving to death over weeks."

The explosion was tremendous. The shock wave sent them reeling several million kilometers, but the explosion would be noted and a ship would be dispatched.

Within one minute of the explosion, the screens went blank and read that the simulation was over. Exhausted and stiff, he disengaged himself and made his pit stop and then went to see his father.

Doryn was appalled at how Kerryn looked. "My god, Kerryn, how did it go?"

"Lousy, I think. At the end, we had no warp, were missing one nacelle, on batteries, no communications, and we phasered the cargo to create a call for help." He related the details.

"Sounds like the captain did the best he could. Where were you in the crew?"

"I was the captain."

Doryn was amazed. "Wow! Son, you made all the right decisions. Captain! That is terrific! How many crew were there? Will they give a debrief?"

"Ratings come out tomorrow at 1400 ships time. Including myself, thirty-two."

Doryn let him finish his soup. "Go to bed, Kerryn. Hell, I haven't dealt with that much on even my hardest trip."

"Thanks, Dad." And as he stumbled wearily to bed, he saw that Illiar had been trying to get a hold of him. He sent him a quick message that he was going to sleep, and then he did just that.

Two hours before the debrief, Illiar and Kerryn were exchanging experiences.

"So Illiar, honestly, how did I do? You were two tiers below me. What was it like?"

"It was both cool and scary. You were calm, knew what to do, and that we found so many problems means that they set us up. When you went off duty, the first officer was Red One. He was an ass. He kept ordering people around for status reports. That asteroid field was on the charts, and Navigation missed it. Red One's last words were, Oh crap, what do I do, and I called out, Summon the Captain to the bridge, damn it. After that, the sim connected you back in and man you were good. We could tell you were swearing, but no one knew what it was. Most of us who live on ships knew what you did with the cargo, but the landlubbers had no clue. How did you like the questionnaire?"

"What questionnaire? When it disconnected me, it just reported the debrief time and cut me out."

"Crap. The rest of us had to rate all the departments, and what was going on."

"Well, it's done. I guess we'll hear at 1400."

"1500, Kerryn."

"Mine says 1400. Guess they want to crucify the captain personally. My Dad is also invited to attend."

"That means it is on comms instead of sim. Good luck."

"Thanks. Totentanz out." And Kerryn leaned back. Red One had fucked it up for them. Oh well. He got dressed, ate, and fidgeted a little. Maybe his Dad would know.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"What should I wear to a court-martial?"

Doryn dropped his fork. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, under my command, my ship got trashed and my cargo blown to bits. My Number One blew it, but I am the captain."

Doryn thought. "Try grey or black, solid, nothing flashy. You don't have a uniform, but try to be as formal as you can."

"OK. Thanks."

"Kerryn, relax. It was an exercise."

"It was just so real, Dad. I tried to do everything right. And it went nova."

"See what they say. There is always room for improvement."

And so, at 1400 hours, they sat down in front of the comm station. It activated, and a panel of nine men and women sat there. Upon first viewing, their eyebrows raised.

"Well, captain, welcome to your debrief. Before we begin, just how old are you?"

"Sirs, I am thirteen years old."

Murmurs. Then the leader said. "Thank you. Please describe your mission history."

Kerryn did, noting the problems, impacts, and fixes, his duty shift off, and his reinsertion into a ship bent on destruction, their extraction, and finally the detonation of the cargo.

"Anything to add, captain?"

Kerryn thought. "No, I don't think so, sirs. But please ask if you have questions."

One spoke up. "Why specifically did you detonate the cargo?"

"We had no long-term power. Our warp core was shot. We were missing a nacelle. Our communication system was fused solid. We were a floating space coffin. Detonating that much antimatter caused a ninth order power wave to be generated, and would certainly capture the interest of the Guild, if not Starfleet itself. It was a distress flare, although on a large scale."

"You could have waited."

"Perhaps. But if we had kept the cargo intact, but killed off all the crew, how does that solve the problem?" Nervously, to himself he added, what is the going price on human life, especially thirty two of them?

They nodded. "A sound argument."

The leader spoke. "Here now is our debrief of the simulation. We were able to find only one fault in your handling of this scenario. You did not pull up a qualifications profile on your key officers. That information would have shown you his lack of capability."

Kerryn's eyebrows furrowed. "Sirs, I do not recall on my simulator seeing the option for officer profiles."

Some muttering, and a look at a list, and the leader grinned. "You are using a PK-series simulator?"

"AN/PJ-32, sir. It predates the PK-series."

"Comment withdrawn. We are very pleased with your handling of this scenario. Your rating will be listed at the full team debrief. And get yourself a newer simulator. The PJ series is antique."

"Thank you, sirs."

The communications unit closed. Doryn grinned. "See? You must have been amazing."

The full debrief came later. That was truly amazing. Team One did not detect any problems with the ship and never made it to the starbase to get cargo. They didn't even check the manifests or schedules. Team Two made it to starbase, but caught the plague and as a result had a mutiny.

The leader of the panel spoke. "Team Three was an incredible experience. We had to extend the scenario in order to catch the ship unprepared. After seven hours -" at this, loud muttering and outcries from the team, then silence. "After seven hours of scenario time, the captain Gold Four went off duty, and Red One assumed command. We had to invent an asteroid field as a hazard, and fortunately the Navigator Red Three missed looking for it. Severe ship damage had taken place before the Captain was called back, and Gold Four extracted the ship and despite being a `floating coffin' in space in his own words, he detonated the cargo in a ninth order power shock wave. In his own words, either the Guild or Starfleet would have investigated immediately, and we concur. That ended the simulation at seven hours forty nine minutes. Team Three performed beyond any exercise to date."

That was followed by a roar of cheering. The leader then concluded, "The earlier sequences all were well executed, with particular distinction by the Gold, Blue, and Silver squads. Gold Four again was the only ship to get a tractor lock on the target."

More cheering, and the time began to close. The leader ended with, "The ratings list will be posted shortly, by Team, Squad, and individual. This, as always has been a pleasure and exciting, but I think this time I will add hair-raising. Any rating one hundred or less will be issued an invitation to Flight School. Any rating ten or less will be eligible for War School as well. Thank you and good day." And the debrief closed.

Kerryn drew a breath of appreciation. They had to extend the scenario to trip up his ship! That was so cool. And seconds later, Illiar and some of his friends were on the subspace net.

"Way to go, Kerryn! You're in for sure!"

Kerryn took a bow. "You have no idea how terrified I was when we started."

"How did you know what to do?"

"I didn't. When you called out about the captain being on the bridge, it kind of hit me that we were on the bridge of what? And in what condition? And then, why are we out in space anyway, right? Cargo. First thing to do is see what we have and where it is going, and the next, etc, right? That's what I did."

The simulator beeped and the subspace link was suddenly abuzz. Ratings were out. Kerryn scrolled through the ninety six names until he found Gold Four. And what was there made his heart almost stop.

He had a rating of one.

A quick skim showed that ratings went down to five hundred. Most were in the two hundreds. Illiar had a forty. "Well, Illiar, at least you and I are in."

"Yup. Milo and Danel as well. Milo got a sixty two and Danel an eighty."

"Cool!"

Illiar then spoke slowly. "Kerryn, you got a one. The highest possible. Dude, YOU GET TO GO TO WAR SCHOOL TOO!!"

"And no wonder, too!" That was one of his friends.

Kerryn yawned, but felt elated. "My Dad's gonna shit."

Illiar grinned. "I don't think so. By the way, we're only a parsec apart. We'll be at 290 in a couple hours. Better pack!"

"Thanks!" And they signed off.

Doryn was elated, to say the least. As they approached Starbase 290, Kerryn had packed his things for the four-day break. Totentanz sidled up to the station, and within minutes of docking Kerryn and Illiar were together in the one of the nearby bars.

Drinking a carbonated beverage, they went over every instant of the simulation exercise. His more modern simulator was able to report the status on the others beyond his group, whereas Kerryn's was ancient. He made up his mind to find an upgrade somehow.

Illiar just sat back. "I am so tired."

Kerryn grinned, and regarded his friend thoughtfully. Illiar had grown since their last meeting. He was taller now, and his black hair was short and pristine. His eyes were blue, and Kerryn noticed that there was something enticing about him. It made him feel warm inside to be with Illiar, and unconsciously he scanned his friend briefly.

What was there surprised him. Illiar was looking at him, and he was seeing him very differently. Kerryn's brown eyes had Illiar's attention, as well as his longer brown hair. Illiar seemed to want to fix it somehow. And then a thought of Kerryn with no shirt on fled through his mind, and the sensation of that was entirely new to Kerryn. He broke contact, and knew that Illiar would never know it happened. Kerryn was very good that way. But he realized that Illiar was attracted to him.

With new interest, he tried to look at Illiar that way. Charming eyes. Nice hair. Great smile. And the question swept through Kerryn: What did Illiar look like now without a shirt? Or pants? Kerryn realized he wanted to know.

"Something on your mind?"

Kerryn blushed a little. "A lot. Hard to describe. But I am looking forward to our days together."

"And nights! Mom and Dad say we can stay up and do whatever we want."

Kerryn yawned again. "Sleep, tonight. Then we'll see tomorrow."

Illiar leaned forward. "I've got some stuff to show you. Later. But its gonna be good."

Kerryn grinned, and again scanned briefly. Illiar had porn. And not just any porn, he had gay porn. Suddenly lots of things clicked into place. This would be exciting.

They made their way onto Illiar's family ship. Its name was the Tarantella, and it was large, sleek and very state of the art. Illiar's parents gave Kerryn his own cabin, but also run of the ship as long as he stayed out of the flight and engineering sections. This surprised him; didn't Illiar help run the ship? Apparently not.

That night, in Illiar's cabin, he closed the door and Illiar revealed his stash.

"Ever hear of porn?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yeah, my dad has some. He doesn't know it but I have seen some of it. Reasonably tame."

"Tame?"

"Yeah. Guy fucks girl, girl fucks guy. Same scenes over and over again. Turns a two minute experience into an hour long flick."

Illiar grinned. "Well, I have better than that." He stopped, took a breath, and said, "Kerryn, can you keep a secret?"

"Sure."

"Do you know what being gay is?"

Kerryn nodded slowly. "Its about boys liking boys more than girls. More than just friends, but sex too."

Illiar just looked at him. Worry and terror etched his face, and for a moment the effervescent personality that so defined Illiar was lost to him. Illiar just couldn't actually say it. So Kerryn jumped forward. "You think you might be gay?"

Illiar nodded. "Uh huh."

"How do you know?"

"Ever get hard?"

Kerryn blushed. "Yeah, lots."

"What makes you hard?"

"Lots of stuff. I never really thought about it."

Illiar gave him a knowing look. "Well, I have. What gets me hard are boys. Forget girls. This," and he indicated the pile of media, "is gay porn." He shuffled a little. "I was kind of hoping that we could figure out what I am feeling."

Kerryn nodded. "Illiar, I was noticing you earlier tonight, and I think it kind of describes what you might be feeling. We probably owe it to ourselves to figure this out."

Illiar looked relieved. "You'll help me?"

"We'll do it together."

That night, the two boys slept in Illiar's cabin. They decided to take their shirts off as a start. Illiar was pale and nicely developed for a fourteen-year-old. Kerryn, however had the influence of his Betazoid blood and his coppery skin encased a nice, muscular body. He certainly wasn't a body builder, but he was lean, smooth, and etched. Illiar couldn't take his eyes off him.

"Wow, Kerryn. How do you get like that?"

Kerryn grinned. "I'm not all human. I'm only half, remember?"

"What is the other half?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Illiar nodded, intrigued, so Kerryn told him. "My mom was full Betazoid. It's really close to human, but some minor differences."

"Wicked." Illiar's eyes were hungry, and Kerryn really was grateful for his friend. He knew that he loved Illiar almost as much as his dad. So he daringly offered, "You can check me out if you want, for differences. Maybe it will help with the gay thing."

Illiar nodded, but held his breath in excitement as Kerryn slipped off his pants and undergarments. "See? Same cock, same balls, same butt. Betazoids aren't very hairy, so I won't be either." He walked slowly around.

Illiar was a study in realization. "Kerryn, you look so great." He came over, closer, and asked very quietly, "Can I touch you?"

Kerryn nodded, uncertain now, and Illiar brought his hand and gently stroked Kerryn's chest. That was enough, and Kerryn's cock stiffened immediately. But neither one moved, as Illiar's hand slid down over Kerryn's abdomen and down to his cock. He stroked it, gently, and Kerryn whispered, "Don't do that or its gonna shoot." And Illiar stopped.

"Oh god, Kerryn! That was so awesome." Illiar looked away. "The way that felt, I think I've got to be gay. I've tried the same with a couple girls but there's nothing there. This felt so much more."

"I got hard too. That surprised me."

Illiar looked back at Kerryn's hard cock, and his face took on a look of deep desire. "I want to make you shoot so bad, Kerryn." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Will you let me?"

Before Kerryn thought, he blurted out the words. "Only if I can do the same for you."

Illiar nodded, and came over to Kerryn with a towel. His hand slowly came in contact with Kerryn's cock, and then slowly began stroking it up and down. Poor Kerryn was so excited in one way, and so adventurous in another way that he couldn't relax enough to cum right away. So a minute passed, and suddenly the manipulations going on was too much for the adventurer and with an "Oh, fuck!" Kerryn's cock surged in intensity, meeting that focused pleasure point and then with strong spasms pumped out the cum that Illiar caught in his hands and on the towel.

"Kerryn, that was awesome!"

"That felt so fucking good. I almost couldn't stand up!"

They giggled, and cleaned up. Illiar was still half dressed, and a moment of embarrassment came over him. "You still want to keep going?"

Kerryn nodded, and then grinned. "Have to do it right, you know."

Illiar slowly dropped the rest of his clothes. He was pale, his lower half was not nearly as developed as Kerryn's but that was OK. Kerryn made him lie down for this, and with his hands he stroked Illiar's chest, like before, and worked his way down to his cock. But Kerryn didn't stop there. His hands stroked the inside of Illiar's thighs, causing Illiar to shake and twitch. He gently cupped Illiar's balls, feeling them in his soft skin, and then with fingers ready he began to sensually stroke Illiar's cock. Illiar lasted half a minute before spewing his own cum on his chest.

Illiar was amazed. Kerryn almost seemed to know what to do. A sudden suspicion rose in him. "Kerryn, how often do you wank?"

"Wank?"

"You know, play with your cock until it spurts."

Kerryn blushed a little, and then said quietly, "Once or twice a day. You?"

"Not that much, but I think I will start."

Adventure was over, and they got ready for bed. Illiar made the first offer. "Want to sleep up here with me?"

"You bet!" And they climbed into bed. Illiar gave him a little kiss goodnight, and said, "Thanks, Kerryn. You are the best friend I could have."

"Thanks too, Illiar. I love you." And they went to sleep.

Four days later, Illiar and Kerryn had wanked themselves and each other at least a half dozen times each day. There was no doubt in Illiar's mind that he was gay. Kerryn also had a good understanding that he would very much enjoy other boys. And Illiar's parents were none the wiser, as they had barely seen them.

Totentanz was another experience. Kerryn and Illiar arrived to find that Illiar could have his own cabin or move in with Kerryn. They chose the latter. Illiar could have the run of the ship, including the Navigation and Propulsion sections. Doryn was much more interactive with them, and while the trip was fun and entertaining, Kerryn and Illiar didn't have as much time alone. However, the gay interests of the two boys were cemented on the evening of the last day.

They had said goodnight to Doryn, and were in Kerryn's cabin. Neither was really interested in wanking. In fact, it was Illiar who was staring out the window at the stars when Kerryn came over and sat next to him.

"OK, I know it's going to be hard. I've been so happy these eight days."

Illiar nodded. "Will you wait for me?"

"You've decided you are gay?"

Illiar nodded again. And Kerryn laughed. "Good, because I decided I was six days ago. And yes, I will wait for you." And he gave Illiar a kiss on the cheek.

Illiar turned. "Would you kiss me for real?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yes, although I don't think I am very good at it."

"Do it anyway, please?"

Kerryn stood, and pulled Illiar up. "Shirts off." And they pulled their shirts off, exposing the chest and skin that each were so familiar with now. Kerryn slowly took Illiar into his arms, and stared right into his eyes. He tilted his head slightly, and brought his face close until their lips touched, and Illiar moaned as the contact strengthened. But it was Illiar who parted his lips, and when their tongues touched it set a wave of desire, friendship, and intimacy through them both. They explored this new sensation, and then broke to catch their breath.

"I liked that a lot."

"So did I." And like two young lovers, they got into bed and snuggled together. Sex was over, this was two friends keeping warm and close.

When Illiar had returned to his family, and Kerryn had resettled to the routine on Totentanz, Doryn decided it was time for a chat with his son.

"Kerryn, sit down. We need to have a chat."

Maybe the days of separation had made it more obvious, but Kerryn had grown up a lot. He moved his lanky form into a chair. "What's up, Dad?"

"You're different after your vacation with Illiar. Want to talk?"

Kerryn shifted uncomfortably. "I am different. I guess I know who I am a little better. And I miss Illiar."

"That is quite obvious." At Kerryn's surprise, Doryn grinned. "The question is, what about him are you missing?" A blush crept into Kerryn as Doryn watched. "I think I know, but you have to say it for yourself. You can't hide from it. It is a part of you."

Kerryn gulped. "Dad, I'm gay."

"That wasn't so bad, was it? How do you know?"

"Well, Illiar had some questions, and I guess I did too. We explored a little, and it became pretty obvious."

Doryn nodded. "OK." He coughed uncomfortably. "Kerryn, your mom gave me some specific information about Betazoids for you. You need to know it, and I want to tell you about it. OK?"

Kerryn nodded, amazed. They never spoke about Analee. "OK. Why now?"

"You're of age in Betazoid culture. And your admission about Illiar sealed it."

First, Doryn explained that he would mature earlier. All biology was compatible, although the average Betazoid had a larger cock by a little bit than the average human, although humans had greater variability in size. Any sexual orientation was acceptable in Betazoid culture. Betazoids were sterile unless a particular herbal beverage was consumed, and that kept the population down as well as the openness and sexual interest of the culture up.

Kerryn blushed furiously through the beginning of this, but dealt with it and realized it was a sincere cultural study he was getting from his father. He didn't realize the hard parts were coming up.

Doryn got himself a glass of water. "Kerryn, there are two things left. The first is mental. You can enter the mind of your partners during sex, and increase their experience a hundredfold with careful stimulation in the right place." He smiled. "Analee used to do that for me. It was absolutely amazing. I will give you some information on this, as well as other mental exercises. You are part Betazoid, you should use it."

"OK, Dad. Thanks. I had no idea on that one."

"Here is the last one. Betazoids call it the Frenzy." And he explained how one in every fifty or so meetings of Betazoid descendents make a chemical-biological synergy bond that must be seen through to completion or else pay the price of insanity. "The key feeling seems to be a burning desire to be one with this total stranger. Once on, it stays on and grows until the experience is over. And the Frenzy does not discriminate between men or women, gay or straight, willing or unwilling. Just go along for the ride."

Kerryn's eyes were wide. "That's pretty scary, Dad. I'm surprised the Betazoids allow it."

"They can't avoid it. It is going to happen to you, probably several times." He handed Kerryn a data chip. "This is the Betazed standard educational program for their biology. It goes in the EPU." He grinned. "Knowing that you are a horny young man, I suggest you study it. The mental ones too." He shook his finger. "Just don't try them on me without asking first. I know how to deal with wily Betazoids."

A moment of pain flickered, and Kerryn asked the question that had not been brought up in almost eight years. "Dad, do you think we will see mom again?"

Doryn shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't gone looking." And that ended that.

While they kept in contact, Illiar and Kerryn had nearly eight weeks before flight school. During that time, Doryn acquired a broken PK-90 Simulator, and Kerryn brought it back to full working order. Now he saw what a lot of the others had seen from their simulators, and he could appreciate what was going on. They took their annual stop at Delvin Six, where the doctors pronounced both Doryn and Kerryn in excellent health. At that point, Kerryn was surprised to receive an implant.

"What's that for?" Implants were like old-fashioned shots, injected just under the skin.

"Flight permit. Your results qualified you for basic flight. You just needed to be thirteen to get it." Doryn smiled knowingly. He had a surprise for Kerryn.

"A Flight Permit!?! This implant will let me fly in a real ship?"

"You bet, after you've trained on it. It is updated as you go, but you needed the implant first."

Doryn knew then that his son would love the little trainer craft that he had bought. It was used, and not the best model, but he had the fairing on top of the Propulsion deck extended and pressurized as a hangar for the little craft while Kerryn was with Illiar.

As they walked back to Totentanz, Kerryn noticed from a window that the fairing was larger. It wasn't often that you get this view, and Doryn had made special arrangements to ensure Kerryn would see it. And like the observant thirteen year old that he was, he saw it.

"Dad, what did you do to the aft dorsal fairing? It's bigger, and extends to the end of the ship."

Doryn grinned. "Ah. Well, you see, I had it extended and pressurized. We needed the extra space."

"It looks like a little hangar. What do we need the space for?"

"You'll just have to see, won't you?"

Kerryn couldn't resist. He scanned his Dad, and found the image of a small two-seat spacecraft in his mind, sitting in the hangar. "DAD!! YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU??"

Wow, Doryn thought, he lifted that out without a touch. But in words, he nodded. "What good is an implant if you have nothing to fly? Happy birthday, Kerryn."

Well, that was the end of coherent thought for Kerryn. He just couldn't believe it. They went up together, went over every system, every aspect of it that they could get their hands on. They ran diagnostics, checked controls, and Kerryn climbed into the seat and just stretched for a moment. Then, like lightning he was all over the controls and indicators.

"Dad, thanks ever so much! When can I take her out?"

"After we depart and are in open space for a while, and also after you have read the documentation." He handed him an EPU chip. "You've got a modern simulator, now. This little ship here should be in its database. Get some qual hours on the simulator, and then we'll see."

Kerryn took that very seriously. But before he dug into her, he had to tell Illiar.

It was a week before he felt that he could actually fly. The first flight was out in clear space. He had his new flight suit, and was ready to go when Doryn came on the comm unit.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Dad!"

"Be careful. On return, match velocity with the ship first, and then ease yourself in."

With all green lights, he released the hangar doors and they slid open. The next button released the force field, and the hanger depressurized. Finally, he released the magnetic catches, and with a touch on the thrusters he was off.

He was free. His aft scanners showed the Totentanz retreating behind him slowly. He pulled some sharp turns, and the little craft strained in response. The simulators were close, but nothing could compare to the actual flight in a real spacecraft.

"Dad, it's awesome!" And he pulled more of his nauseating spirals and corkscrews that he had gotten so good at on the simulator.

"Watch it, Kerryn! Don't push too hard or you'll puke. It isn't quite the same as a sim."

That was too true, but before Kerryn really did puke he evened out his flight. He realized that he was very disoriented, and it took a couple seconds for the scanner to show him Totentanz. Gracefully arcing back towards the ship, he slowed and measured her lengthwise. It had been years since he had been out in a space suit, and this way he got to make detailed surveys of Totentanz. He then shot full speed out ahead of the larger ship, and found that he could get quite a bit of speed out of this little craft. He could actually hit half light speed! Pulling a perfect inside loop and roll maneuver, he returned back to Totentanz. With his dad's advice, he matched velocity to the Totentanz, and slowly eased himself into the hangar. The force fields came on, magnetic catches held, and the when the little hangar was pressurized, Kerryn climbed out of the craft and just ran his hands all over it. He loved it, and it was his.

Of course, he immediately went over the engineering manuals for it, and changed out dozens of flow regulators and relays. He recalibrated all the inertial dampers, and cleaned and polished the thrusters. A little touch-up paint here and there, and while it wasn't the latest and sleekest, it was his and it was good.

Doryn had warned him about bragging. "Kerryn, you and most of your friends have the implant now, but I asked around and you are the only one who actually has a permit to fly on your own. Be careful about that, OK?"

Kerryn nodded, surprised. "How did that happen?"

Doryn grinned. "All that time on the simulator, and your completion of the Guild Operations EPU. Most of your friends haven't started it. Which reminds me, how is Starfleet coming?"

"OK. Engineering is actually kind of similar to the Guild. I'm gonna get bogged down in the Ambassadorial ones, though."

Talking with Illiar was great. Illiar's parents had bought him a ship too, a nice new one from Prevyar. Kerryn's was built by Turian Shipworks, which was considerably smaller and less mainstream, but had none of the nice features or expensive look as a Prevyar did. But Kerryn was not the slightest bit jealous.

"It's beautiful, Illiar! How does it fly?"

His friend's face fell. "Don't know yet. I'm still getting qualified on her. Another week or so. But I'll get there, and when I do I will swing and dance among the stars! I'll do spirals around the Tarantella, even the Totentanz!"

Kerryn laughed. "I bet you will. How fast will she go?"

"Half light speed."

"I'll bet we could tune her up to go faster."

Illiar's eyes popped. "Go under the hood? Not me! Let a tech do that."

And that was Kerryn's first exposure to the prevalent attitude among most freighters. Captains didn't do tech work. Techs did the menial maintenance work. Kerryn let it slide, but it did taint his happiness. And Doryn noticed.

"All right, son, what's going on?"

"Huh?"

"Something's bothering you. It isn't the ship, is it?"

"No, Dad." He sighed. "It was something Illiar said. He seems to think that techs are not as good as captains, and as if captains and their families were better than techs."

Doryn also sighed. "Some of the more wealthy families tend to look down on the techs, that is true. It kind of depends upon who your customers are. If you do work for planetary governments, then you get a little used to that. Techs work for us and with us. The reality is that without the technical experts and engineers, we wouldn't be anywhere."

Kerryn then voiced his real fear. "Dad, I'm just afraid that it is gonna be a problem between Illiar and me. I like the tech work, and I really am good at it."

Doryn nodded, and gently said, "Well, then if Illiar can't adapt, then he may not be the right one for you."

Flight school was a day away, and the momentum was gaining. Kerryn decided to arrive the night before and check in early, as was his option. Totentanz was on a tight cargo trip, so Kerryn and his dad decided to fly the little Turian in to the school and keep it in one of the small side hangars with the other small craft.

Crossing the immense hangar platform of the school, he began to appreciate its size. It was as large as the largest starbase he had ever seen, and there were ships of all kinds here. The entire hangar could have held fifty Totentanz ships! But it was clearly marked, especially for one who had the training required, and Kerryn and his duffel bag made it to the orientation center.

A Guild member was present at the desk. "May I help you?"

Kerryn responded, "Yes. I am Kerryn of Delvin Six, here to start in the Flight School, for an early check-in."

"Very good. Station time is 2310 hours. Your suite is in section 23, cluster A. Orientation is at 0700." A device was handed to him. "Tomorrow will be devoted to station orientation and some socialization. Schooling begins the next day. The callsign you were given on the exercise is how you will be referred to, and you are Gold Four. Do you have an implant?"

"Yes, sir." Kerryn held his wrist to the scanner.

The Guild member's eyebrows rose. "Thank you. Since you are already licensed, you have full access to the school although tomorrow you will be told that you do not. No one will know this unless you disclose it."

Kerryn was surprised. "Is it that unusual?"

A shrug. "It happens sometimes."

His suite was actually a common room with study areas, bathrooms and a separate bedroom area where six boys stayed. Not quite barracks, but certainly close quarters. Kerryn knew he would have trouble sleeping, so he picked a low bed by the door. He put his things away, and was shortly greeted by another boy.

Kerryn stood and gave the traditional greeting. "Kerryn of Delvin Six."

"Thomas Silver of Mobius II." Thomas was a somewhat older boy, fifteen, serious but with that twinkle that showed he was excited to be there.

"Welcome, Thomas. I just got in half an hour ago."

"Cool. Any bed we want?"

Kerryn nodded. "I don't sleep much so I took this one." Some more idle chatter, and one more boy came in. He was about the same age as Thomas.

"Mike Bonno, Aran III. Am I last?" Mike was an easy, affable type guy. His deep voice betrayed his age, and he had a relaxed confidence about him. He would be everyone's basic friend.

The older two boys took beds near Kerryn's, but up high. Both of them were on the same simulation run that Kerryn was. Both were on Team Two, and Kerryn had been on Team Three.

"So, anyone got a ship?" This was Mike. "I have a Prevyar EPX. Modest, but very comfortable inside. Flies like silk."

"Prevyar EP3." This was Thomas. "Almost as nice. I'm working towards a new one once out of school, maybe an FX10."

Kerryn grinned. "I lose. I've got a Turian Zephyr. It's pretty agile."

Thomas grinned back. "The Zephyr was pretty good in its day. Don't sell it short."

Mike, however, was unimpressed. "Well, you can always upgrade later."

Kerryn shrugged. They would find out sooner or later. "We don't have a lot of money lying around. I got it and had to rebuild parts of it." Oops, well, maybe they didn't catch it.

They didn't. It was Mike who sealed it, though. "Can't wait to get off that tether, that's all I know." A large yawn flooded him, and set the other two boys doing the same. "I'm going to bed."

They all got ready, and took to their beds. Kerryn looked around for a light switch, but Thomas beat him to it. "Computer! Dim lights to 5 percent." And the lights went down.

Shortly thereafter, the other two boys were asleep. Kerryn felt very much alone and isolated. There was a word for him, one that he didn't like but it was probably true. Boonie. A boonie was someone who spent a lot of time out of social circles. These guys he was with were used to technology and the customary luxury environment. Kerryn was not, but he figured he could get used to it. Voice actuated commands. Doors that opened by themselves. No wall switches. None of those things were present on Totentanz.

The next day saw a flurry of activity. So much to see and learn. He saw Illiar, and they greeted each other warmly. Illiar seemed to have no trouble integrating. Kerryn wished that he had such a skill. But the shining socialites led the day as all focused on their new surroundings. The next day they would start the school.

The spacecraft they used for flight school were cool. They could go to half light speed, had shields and micro-tractor beams on them, and were overloaded with safety features including anti-collision deflectors. Kerryn had mastered the simulator in half a day, and received his additional qualification on the implant to fly that class of spacecraft at will. He grinned at that one. All the others would be on supervision. After lunch that day, he was the first and only one to make it to the training hangar, where he could select his ship. The head of the tech department followed he and the instructor through the field of ships.

They watched as Kerryn inspected the new ones, and shook his head. He worked his way down the row, and finally he looked back at the lead tech in frustration.

"Which one is the oldest?"

Eyebrows raised, the tech pointed at one four ships down. "That one. It is in good working order, as are they all."

"Really?"

The tech started slightly, and then realized that this wasn't some random flyboy. "Well, it wasn't used last session but it was in every other one for fifteen years."

"Let's go look." And the instructor followed curiously.

Kerryn saw it then, and it was what he wanted. Turian had made it, too. Slightly heavier, dented, scraped, but sound and the thrust nacelles were well worked in. He climbed up, ran a systems check, climbed down, and went under to open the service panel. Things were in order, but he could see a dozen things that needed attention. Perfect.

He stood back, and for show, kicked the hangar clamps, which set the tech laughing. "This is the one."

"You are sure?" The instructor was skeptical.

"Yes, sir."

"So be it." He brought a scanner over, and gave it Kerryn's command codes. "Scan in, please." And Kerryn turned red as he raised the implant to the ship, and it immediately showed his independent flight status.

"You have your permit already?"

"Yes, sir, although I was advised not to advertise that."

"I see. Good work." And then it hit the instructor. "What are your engineering qualifications?"

"Engineering Level 7, Propulsion Level 9, Operations Level 9, and Power Systems Level 11. Sir."

"Why are you in flight school?" The tech was grinning fit to split.

Kerryn got scared. "I don't understand, sir. Everyone wants to go to Flight School."

"Those engineering qualifications outrank even the graduating techs here. How did you get all those quals?" The instructor suddenly realized he was scaring Kerryn, and changed his mind. "Come on over to the benches over here. You aren't in trouble and you aren't being thrown out. But it is most unusual for someone with your quals to be here."

The three of them sat down, and Kerryn tried to calm down a little as the instructor asked him, "Tell us about your last couple years, please."

"Well, sirs, I grew up on a light freighter. My mom left when I was five, and ever since then my father and I have been working cargo in the Aurigaen Belt."

"That's pretty far out territory, and not easy space either. Where were you in the crew roster?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No crew. Just the two of us. I spent a lot of time in simulator and on the EPU when I could. There isn't much else to do out there. Repairs are expensive too, and I had to learn another language to interact with our drive. In exchange for subspace access, I worked maintenance for the ship. Someday my dad will want to retire, and then I'll need a flight permit and qualifications, so I was really happy to get into the Pre- Flight Exercise and then the Flight School itself."

"What language?"

"Romulan. It really is-"

The instructor turned to the tech. "Know any Romulan?"

"Some." He turned to Kerryn, and haltingly asked a question. Kerryn giggled, and responded in a phonetic flow of symbology that was both stunning in its complexity and yet had a technical beauty to it. It was like listening to crystal.

The tech turned back to the instructor. "He's way beyond me." He turned and grinned at Kerryn. "What was so funny?"

"Well, sir, your accent is terrible."

The tech laughed. "I don't warrant a sir, you know. I'm just the tech."

"Oh no. Everyone warrants a sir, and there is no such thing as just a tech."

Silence. The instructor rolled his eyes. The tech stood in shock, as the instructor looked at Kerryn. "Do you know what a boonie is?"

Kerryn looked down. "Yes, sir. Among other things, it's me."

"It is not a bad thing. It means you are much more self- sufficient and independent. You can survive on your own. And you don't have much experience with the social peculiarities here. Many see it as a negative thing, but the reality is that they will be dead long before you will." He turned to the tech. "Get him whatever he needs. I suspect the guts of that ship he just selected will be on the floor within an hour. He has carte blanche access." He turned back to Kerryn. "You'll find out what that is later."

"Thank you, sir!"

The instructor got up to go, and then turned back. "What is your callsign?"

"Gold Four, sir."

He stopped. He stared. "You were the captain for Team Three."

"Yes, sir."

"Damn. And you did it on a PJ series simulator." He laughed suddenly. "Your ass must have been very sore after that. PJ- series were very uncomfortable."

"I won't deny it, sir."

The instructor left, and the lead tech got him some basic tools. "May as well hold onto them." He assigned him a locker, and then turned back to Kerryn. "You are going to need stuff. Either come to me, or ask for Ramon. Ramon is a gifted tech, though not as qualified as yourself. He also is a boonie, and I think could use a friend. Don't force it, but I think you guys could do well together." He said quietly, "He loves to fly, but doesn't have the ear for it."

And that was how the first week went. Kerryn would start in the simulator, and then leave to go work on the ship. The lead tech was there the first couple times to watch, but knew expertise when he saw it and left Kerryn alone. He ate with the other flight boys, did homework, and ran around the station for exercise. Some of the older boys liked to drink synthehol, as was their prerogative, but Kerryn avoided it after a taste.

His roommates queried him once in a while, but he was always doing something or going somewhere. Eventually it would break, though, and Kerryn started to get anxious. More boys were qualified now, and fortunately he had finished the overhaul on his ship. And it flew absolutely beautifully.

It was at this point that there was scheduled a social event. The Flight School was coeducational, but the students had been in simulators so much that there was really no interaction other than in their suites. This first mixer had many rumors about it, and Kerryn knew something was up when the older boys began partitioning off part of the room.

"What's going on?"

They looked at him in surprise. "We wanna get laid tonight, dude! This way we can get two to a room." They had all laid out nice clothes, perfect for strutting around in. Kerryn realized he hadn't brought any formal wear. "Here are the rules: If the curtain is open, that side of the room is free, otherwise it is occupied." They finished the partition. "How long has it been for you?"

"Hey, I'm only just fourteen, remember. I haven't done all that much." That was a risk, but he wasn't going to hide it.

"Really?"

Mike chimed in, bailing him out. "Dude, I didn't do anything until I was fourteen. So shut up." He looked at Kerryn. "You look a lot older than fourteen. I've seen you in the buff and that is not an fourteen year old's body."

Kerryn could respond to this one easily. "I'm not entirely human. I've got at least a little of some other race in me. That, and I do keep myself in shape." He grinned. "Anyone want to join me in a run at 0500?"

"NO!" And Mike added, "I hope to be getting laid still at 0500." That brought a round of laughter. And at that point Kerryn knew where he was going tonight.

The confrontation came later. His roommates had all gone on ahead, and Kerryn told them not to wait for him because he would be late. He dressed in ordinary clothes, and was on his way to the hangar when he met Illiar in the crisscross of corridors.

"Kerryn! How'ya doing?"

"Good, good enough. Qualified yet?"

"Just today. You?"

"Only a little earlier."

Illiar looked at him. "So like, where are your glad rags?"

Kerryn shook his head. "I didn't bring any. Didn't know we needed to have some. So I figured I would sit this one out until I could get some." He smiled. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. It's been so busy, though, and so many new people." Illiar was fifteen now. The difference between them was ever wider. "How are your roommates?"

"Fine. Older. They've all used blankets to put up walls in our bedroom so that they can get laid in privacy. I decided it was easier to all-nighter it."

Illiar knew something was up. "C'mon, Kerryn. I'll loan you some clothes. This is the first mixer. You've got to go. Who knows who is waiting for you?"

Some of the other students saw the discussion, but did not hear the content. Like flies to a light, it began to draw a small crowd.

"Illiar, you remember what I declared to you. I'd rather not deal with any of that right now."

Illiar stared. "Kerryn, that was before girls. Who was the last girl you met?" At the shake of the head, Illiar snorted. "Let me tell you, they can be just as amazing. Maybe you and I both will get lucky tonight."

Kerryn stepped back, hurt. "No thanks, Illiar. I'm not in the mood."

"Damn it, Kerryn you are acting like a damn boonie!"

Something in Kerryn snapped then. The first thing that caught his eye was the restricted corridor, which he knew among other things led to a bar. It was only for licensed pilots. Fury blew over him, and those watching saw his features harden and his eyes begin to burn with a bronze glow. He stared at Illiar for the first time, realizing that his friend had become an elitist, and said, "That's because I am a boonie." And he stalked off towards the restricted section.

"Kerryn, wait! You can't go in there. It's restricted." And as he and the crowd watched, Kerryn stormed up to the scanner, held up his arm, and the light flashed green and admitted him, and he disappeared.

Illliar stood, stunned. How did Kerryn get in? Then it dawned on him that he must have his flight permit already, on that ridiculous little Turian. Oh well. He turned and rejoined the group on their way to the mixer. And he did get laid that night, with a pretty blond thing, and Kerryn far from his mind.

Kerryn stormed down the corridor, but with each step the fury abated and the resignation of being exposed flooded him. By the time he entered the mall, he found the bar and headed for it with a more controlled step. It was not crowded, and having been to bars many times with his father, he went up to the bar and sat on a stool.

The bartender came over. "What'll it be?"

Kerryn had only before ever had carbonated beverages. He looked up at the top shelf, and picked the first name he saw.

"Bourbon." And he handed over a credit chit.

The glass of amber liquid was delivered, and deducted. Kerryn tasted it slowly. It burned, but in a pleasant way. He closed his eyes and savored the flavor. Rich. He liked it. And it made him warm inside.

"You're pretty young to be drinking already."

Kerryn turned to find the lead tech standing there. Well, whatever. "I've been in bars all my life. That's where you pick up the route news."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." And the older man sat next to him.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really. But I probably should not have retreated into here. I was hoping to explore on less sudden terms."

They were quiet, and then Kerryn gave in. "All right, you talked me into it. Illiar is my best friend. We've spent a lot of time together, but always on a ship. Apparently he has a more eclectic lifestyle than I knew, and I was more of a boonie than he knew. It came out today. I've worked hard, invested a lot of myself into this, and to have it thrown back at me because I didn't want to go to the mixer . well, I snapped. There'll be hell to pay."

They were quiet, and then the lead tech spoke. "I saw the whole thing, but didn't know what was going on. It looked more like a lover's quarrel."

Kerryn blushed. "It could have been, except it wasn't. And that is something I don't want to discuss."

"All right. So, tell me about your ship. You had said that it was in the main hangar."

"It's on the older side. A Turian Zephyr. My dad bought it for me a couple months ago. It was flyable, but they couldn't sell it for much because it had some custom parts. There are revisions all over the manuals. It was pretty worn, so I had to overhaul it. It took me about two weeks, but oh was it worth it!"

The head tech nodded. "Turian put out a great ship. I used to have an A-series Zephyr. What series do you have?"

"D-series. It looks like they had taken the C-series manuals and marked them up for the D. Kind of annoying, but at least they were accurate."

The head tech looked at Kerryn in disbelief. "You have a Turian Shipworks Zephyr D? What serial number?"

Kerryn shrugged. "I don't know. Why?"

"Is it really here?"

"Yeah, its in the hangar."

He got up and dragged Kerryn with him. "Let's go see it." And on the way, he told Kerryn that Turian had only made five of them. The shipworks had sold off the small ship business to Prevyar, who tossed out the expensive design and mass-manufactured the small ships on the cheap. When they got to the hangar, both were admitted and they walked to the side location.

There was the little Turian. Kerryn had forgotten how much he liked the little craft, and how good it looked now. The head tech was all over it, his fingers itching to caress like it was real. He leaned over and looked at the identifying plate, and read. "Turian Shipworks, Zephyr D, Serial Number 5. Soli Deo Gloria, Turian, CEO and President." He turned to Kerryn. "He signed it himself. I had never thought to see the actual last Zephyr D. You've got it in great shape."

Kerryn was a little wary. "You treat it like it is sacred."

The head tech laughed. "Well, to Turian enthusiasts like me, it is. Ramon too. When you can, you have to show this to him. He'll be in love with it, and you too."

They walked back. The head tech smiled. "Thank you, Gold Four. Since you are licensed, you can fly in and out of here on it in your free time. Not like the others."

"Thanks, I'll remember that."

"Shouldn't you be on your way to bed now?"

Kerryn laughed. "I doubt I could sleep with all the fucking going on." Then he blushed.

"I see. Hold on." He accessed his communicator. "Ramon, it's me. I need you to put someone up for the night. He's got a Zephyr D."

"NO SHIT!" sailed over the communicator.

The head tech rolled his eyes. "We'll meet you at the tech entrance. Tech out." And then he apologized to Kerryn for the language.

"Don't worry, I've heard the term before."

"Ramon is a boonie too. He's very easy to get along with. He's right over there." And Kerryn turned to find a young man sprinting over to them.

Ramon gave the traditional greeting. "Ramon of Alamander II."

"Kerryn of Delvin Six."

"So you got screwed out of your bed tonight?"

"In a manner of speaking."

They eyed each other. The head tech was smiling to himself. The best tech, the best flyer, spanning a social gap a mile wide. It was like Romeo and Juliet.

Ramon was pure tech. Flexible, sinewy, light brown hair clipped and out of the way, with sparkling blue eyes and a veritable bottomless pit of energy. He was taller than Kerryn was, and older, but not much. Kerryn must look like such a little boy to this powerhouse. Kerryn wasn't quite as tall, and he was younger in age, but his body wasn't. Kerryn was more cautious than Ramon, and the two would balance themselves out well.

"C'mon, lets go eat and then figure out what next."

"Sounds good to me." And they both entered the common areas for food and beverages.

Ramon started. "So, you have a Zephyr D?" And the conversation devolved into engineering-speak for a long time. Kerryn could really open up to this boy, and finding out the same with Ramon the basis for friendship was quickly cemented.

When they finally took a break, they realized that it was only an hour short of the start of the school day. Ramon shook his head ruefully.

"Not how I expected to spend the first night of the mixer, but this was far better."

Kerryn felt terrible. "I'm really sorry about that."

"I wasn't going anyway." And a look of longing passed over him. Kerryn couldn't help it. He did a light scan on Ramon. What was there amazed him. Ramon was very horny; so horny it was right on the surface. And he wasn't thinking of girls either. He was thinking of Kerryn.

Sensuality flooded through Kerryn. He decided to come out to Ramon. It would be right. "Ramon, you've been great. But I've got to share something with you. It's really personal. But you'll find out anyway, and I'd rather do it this way."

"OK, shoot."

"Well, I'm gay." There, he had said it.

Ramon's jaw dropped. "You're joking, aren't you? How did you figure me out? This isn't funny, you know."

"No, no, no, I'm serious. I really am gay. It sounds like you are too?"

Ramon nodded. "Yes."

"I'm glad. I thought I might be the only one."

Ramon shook his head. "There aren't many."

"Well, anyway now you know. If you need help or get bogged down in maintenance, let me know. I'd love to help."

"You got it, dude!"

They grinned, and then Kerryn stretched. "Today's gonna hurt." So they stopped and got coffee. Kerryn returned to his room to find his roommates sprawled everywhere and the blankets still up. One girl came trotting out of the bathroom, waved at Kerryn and blew him a kiss, and then that was it. At least they had not violated his bed. So he showered, changed, and was one of the few on time for breakfast and the start of class.

Kerryn saw Illiar at breakfast. Illiar caught sight of him too, and came over to sit with him.

"When did you get your license?"

"Illiar, I don't want to argue."

"When did you get it?"

"On my birthday. You have to be fourteen in order to get the license."

Illiar looked up table, and Kerryn saw the hickey on the side of his neck. So. He had kind of expected it by now.

"Have a good night?"

Illiar answered without thinking. "The best! Three times, and she was so tight I could feel everything." He then realized who he was talking to, and looked down. "Sorry about that."

"You're straight now, Illiar. Nothing wrong with that."

"And you aren't."

"Nope."

They were quiet and finished their breakfast. Finally Illiar said, "I'm sorry, Kerryn."

"S'OK."

"So how was your night?"

"Better than expected. The head tech called someone to put me up, but we ended up talking tech all night."

Illiar couldn't stand it. "Why are you talking to the techs? Don't you want to fly?"

Kerryn stood up. "In case you didn't notice, I have a permit. I have a dozen tech certifications. I am a tech AND a flyer. That makes me a boonie, remember?" Perhaps a little too loudly, but the words echoed down the table and heads turned. Softer, Kerryn continued. "I didn't want to argue, remember?"

He left the table with his tray, and made his way to class. Once there, he sat down and got ready, only to be joined by Thomas, Mike, and the others from his room. Mike started.

"You didn't come back last night. Good time?"

"Sort of. No, I didn't get laid, but I found someone to hang out with all night so as not to disturb you all."

Thomas spoke. "That was really great of you, Kerryn. You didn't have to do that."

Kerryn shrugged. Mike spoke up again. "Actually, we saw you have another argument with the same one as this morning, and then you went into the FQ corridor and it let you in. How did you do that?"

"I've got a flight permit. I was qualified on my Turian, and have the permit on the implant. The Guild advisor told me not to tell anyone, but I was so mad at Illiar that I just needed to escape. That was the place he could not follow."

"Wow. Way cool." Agreement from the others.

"You may as well hear it from me before it goes around, but I also have a lot of tech experience `cause I'm a boonie. I'm used to roughing it and doing my own repairs and maintenance. Illiar has a problem with that."

They were silent. Then it was Mike who spoke. "Boonie or no, you've got a permit and you were the captain of Team Three. I checked. Maybe we all should be boonies." That drew a laugh.

Thomas was kind of quiet. "Well, what makes you a boonie anyway?"

Kerryn laughed. "A lot, actually. Can you take the truth?" They nodded. "Well, I've spent nearly all my time on the past nine years on a light freighter with no voice response units, no turbolifts, and just me and my dad. Our first night? Thomas, you dimmed the lights. I had no idea where the wall controls were, and voice activation never occurred to me. The biggest reason I didn't go to the mixer was because I had no formal wear. I just didn't bring any."

Mike laughed. "You're kidding, right? None of us brought any. We had it replicated."

Kerryn shook his head. "Of course. That was stupid. We only use the replicator for food. Clothes and stuff we buy on station."

Thomas was awed. "So that's what being a boonie is like? Doing without?"

"And conserving everything you have. Most of my social life was over subspace."

"Shit."

Kerryn continued, "So please pardon my occasional weirdness and abnormality, because I just haven't seen the wonders of technology before."

"HA!" That came from one of the others. "Apparently boonies also are good at sarcasm."

"I hope you all are OK with it. Seriously."

They nodded. But it was Mike who commented, "Well, then with all that tech, you will probably whip our asses in your ship."

"Not yet, that's for sure. I almost hit a bulkhead on my last landing."

Class resumed and Kerryn felt better than before.

By the end of the second week, all could fly tethered. Kerryn was still the only one who could fly independent, and he did not flaunt that capability. Rather, if he wasn't working tech with Ramon he would go to the hangar, take out his trainer and fly on his own. He racked up flight hours faster than any student on the school. But he still only casually interacted with his peers.

Ramon, of course was different. He nearly cried when Kerryn took him to show him the Turian Zephyr D. And when Kerryn flew it together, packing in the lanky Ramon in the jump seat behind him, it was extreme pleasure for the tech and flyer both to share the experience.

Performance ratings were not discussed, but the first break came in the form of a long weekend. Nearly all the boys went off for the break, but a couple stayed behind. Of course, they were all ones who either could not afford to go off- school, or whose parents were too far away to pick them up. Kerryn was in that category, and he had known it ahead of time. Ramon too.

Kerryn watched from a distance as Illiar was transported back to his parent's ship. They actually had a transporter. Sure, it was easy, but it took a lot of power.

"Kerryn." That made him jump a mile. It was Thomas, his roommate. "You OK?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Will you be honest with me? Just between us?"

Where was this coming from? "OK, within limits."

Thomas looked straight on at him. "Are you gay?"

Kerryn looked off into the hangar. Thomas had never treated him with anything but respect. "Yes, I am afraid I am."

Thomas looked relieved. "Good. My family is full of psychologists, and some of that rubs off. You hide it really well. But did something go wrong between you and Illiar?"

Kerryn nodded a little. "Sort of. But it wasn't the gay thing. It is the boonie thing."

"You haven't asked whether I am."

"It's none of my business, really." He glanced at Thomas, looked at his meticulous hair, well manicured hands, and said, "Are you?"

Thomas nodded. "Yes. But I've got my true love already, and he and his family will be here soon. Kerryn, you're doing great. I've found that I can be gay without making it an issue. You can be true to yourself without hiding it. You just have to reveal yourself to the right people."

Kerryn smiled. "Thanks, Thomas. That makes a lot of sense. And have a wonderful weekend, OK?"

"You too." He leaned forward. "I think you and Ramon, your tech friend, could work out very well. Don't ignore him. Even I can tell that he is nice." And Thomas wandered off to the transport site in response to a signal, and beamed out as well.

That was the last of his roommates. The suite was all to himself. He and Ramon were having dinner together tonight, and then had decided to find out how much they could drink. Kerryn didn't even know if they were serious about it, but hey! Why not?

He found Ramon, and they had some good laughs walking through the mall area. They stopped at a bar, and automatically now Kerryn ordered bourbon. Ramon ordered the age-old rum and coke. They would drink, chat, pay, leave walk around a bit, and then come back and have another.

Two hours later and five rounds each, they were walking through the mall when Ramon just looked at Kerryn.

"I've got to sit." So they found a bench.

"I feel so incredible." Kerryn spoke slowly and precisely.

"I know what y'mean." And then he giggled. "Even my cock is hard."

"Mine too." Kerryn couldn't stop that. "I wonder why."

"Maybe `cause I turn you on."

"Maybe you are right."

A moment of silence. Ramon then ventured, "You do turn me on, Kerryn. Lots."

This was it. It had taken drink to break through. Kerryn caught Ramon's eyes, and said, "All my roommates are gone. Why don't we go back to my suite and I will show you just how much you turn me on."

"Oh god, Kerryn, let's go." And they got up, and walked a little erratically back to Kerryn's suite. On the way, Kerryn was very attuned to the young man next to him. He was older, but both were at the same age level. His body was nice. Kerryn could tell through the shirt as they leaned waiting for the turbolift. Once inside, Kerryn couldn't resist and pulled Ramon to him, just to hold.

But Ramon had other ideas. He leaned forward and their mouths made contact, along with a shared long groan between them. Ramon had very agile hands, and they wasted no time getting to Kerryn's chest.

The turbolift doors whooshed open, and they made their way to the suite. They encountered no one on the way, but that wouldn't have mattered. The door closed, and privacy was theirs. And after some very intense kissing, Ramon pulled off and they looked at each other.

"I feel so good right now, Kerryn."

"Me too." And after lying down in the bed, fully dressed, Ramon passed out. Kerryn had enough awareness to kick his shoes off and then he was lost in drunken slumber as well.

Morning came. Kerryn's eyes opened slowly to a killer headache. Short light-blond hair was in front of him, as well as the bare skin of a neck and some ear lobes. Despite the headache, Kerryn grinned as he snuggled closer to the boy in front of him.

"Mmm." That was from Ramon. "My head fucking hurts."

"Mine too."

They lay peacefully, but in that aching irritation that comes from a hangover. Finally, Ramon had to get up. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Over there."

He got up and disappeared. Kerryn sat up as well, smiling anyway. He made his way to the replicator and said, "Water, sixteen ounces, cold, two servings." A whirr, and two ice water glasses appeared. He started on his, and handed one wordlessly to Ramon.

"My dad said to drink as much water as you could before going to bed after drinking alcohol. Maybe it will help."

It did. They grinned at one another. "Kerryn, was last night real? Did we really make out like forever and then sleep together?"

"Yup. It was amazingly real for me." Kerryn had known it was right for him. "It was right, Ramon. It was right between us."

Shyly, Ramon nodded. "I think so too." He looked at Kerryn, his blue eyes a little wide and a little vulnerable. "It's a little weird, you know. It isn't like tech at all. I'm guessing, and feeling, and I'm so unsure about it. It's not like, constant, you know? There's no theory, no equation."

Kerryn nodded. "You're right. We can't predict the outcome based on the process." His eyes grew a little wistful, and Ramon could see a buried hurt there. "My best friend, I thought he might be the one a while back. But he changed, and I don't like what he has become, or maybe the revelation of what he really was. He and I more or less discovered that we liked boys together. Trouble is, he went straight and I stayed gay. I'm scared, Ramon. I loved last night, I loved waking up next to you. I'm just kind of feeling my way along too." He stared into Ramon's eyes. "I think that is the way it is supposed to be."

Ramon's smile returned. "You're right. And don't be scared. I loved it too, and I think we should give this every chance we can. We can find ways to be together."

"We can always escape on the Turian."

"You bet!" And then as if not quite sure, Ramon asked, "I want this. Do you?"

Kerryn felt it reverberate in his heart and soul. "Yes, Ramon, I want this very much. More than flight school, I think."

Ramon yawned, and it was contagious. "You've just out-deeped me. I need to freshen up. Meet you in the cafeteria in half an hour?"

"Yes, sir!"

Moving slowly, they separated, and each started their morning routine. Kerryn felt elated once the headache eased. And at breakfast, they were again friends, but each knew there was more to it than that.

Ramon and Kerryn spent every hour that break together. Not drinking, although they did go back and try only one or two, but watching vids, checking out the larger ships, and tinkering with the craft that Ramon needed to tune up. The head tech smiled knowingly, and commented that the trainer fleet never looked so good.

Break ended, and school resumed. Thomas had quirked his eyebrows at Kerryn, who grinned back impishly, and nothing more was exchanged there. The next two months were a hard push to get operational on several different ship classes, including shuttles, escorts, and other freight-handling craft. On this there was a level playing field, and Kerryn took his share of problems. Shuttles were boring. Escorts, the equivalent of tugboats, were only a little better. It took some finesse to land a freight carrier with an escort. Kerryn got the most fun out of the survey ships, partly because they were so agile and sensitive but also because they let the pilot inspect and examine all the exterior features of the larger ships. Kerryn spent hours out on these, and achieved the best rating possible in that class. Everyone else thought it was dismal work.

He saw Illiar several times. Illiar, who tended to overcorrect his piloting still, had just achieved the lowest allowable rating on the survey class. He had exited his ship with a look of disgust, and the instructor sighed.

"Blue One, you have now achieved the Acceptable performance on this craft."

"Thanks. Hope I never have to see one of those again." And he sauntered off. Kerryn was amazed at the change in his friend. He decided that at the next opportunity, he would corner him and ask.

That came later that day. Illiar was having lunch, and Kerryn went over to sit with him.

"Hey Illiar. How are you doing?"

Illiar looked up, a look of distain crossing his face. Kerryn raised his eyebrows, and the look melted. He was the old Illiar again.

"Oh hi, Kerryn. I'm ok. You?"

"Good." He decided to get to the point. "You've changed. I've never seen you hostile to anyone, and now that's all I see. What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Bullshit. That's not the guy talking who helped me build forty-eight tiers of interlocking blocks for a fortress we would play in for an hour after that."

Illiar stared at him, and then laughed a little. "Maybe you're right. Let's talk about it, but not now, OK?"

Kerryn nodded. "All right." He ate some, and then continued, "How are your quals?"

"I got my last today on those surveyors. You?"

"I have them all too. Shuttles are so boring."

"You can say that again."

They finished with some small chat, and then Kerryn saw Ramon come in. Panic was spread across Ramon's face, and his hands were visibly shaking. Kerryn excused himself, and went over to Ramon.

"What is it?" He took his tray, and set it down. "What's going on?"

Ramon started shuddering. "There's been an accident. One of the shuttle nacelles blew. Bobby got it on the right arm. He's going to be fine after a week, but they won't say what happened." Haunted eyes turned to Kerryn. "It was one of the ones we did. I know that nacelle was fine a week ago. But what if we missed something? I just can't remember! It's ripping me apart."

Kerryn decided right there. "Ramon, do you trust me?"

Ramon stared at him. "Trust you?"

"I can help find the memory. But you have to trust me."

Ramon nodded. "You more than anybody."

Kerryn slipped into his mind, and Ramon hissed in shock. Memories riffled back until Ramon muttered, "That's the one." Kerryn walked him through the procedure, and the visuals from the nacelle were all in perfect order. The memory continued over the rest of that shuttle, and surprisingly into the little kiss that followed before Kerryn stopped.

Ramon had stopped shaking. "It wasn't my fault. We did it right. Oh god, Kerryn, if I had messed up it would ruin me! Techs are supposed to be flawless. We didn't see a problem. It wasn't there when we did it." Ramon had calmed down a little, and then looked at Kerryn suspiciously. "Now, how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Sift through and find my memories like that. I could feel you there."

Kerryn smiled. "Don't freak, OK?"

"No, not OK. I will freak if I want to. How the fuck did you do it?"

"I'm half Betazoid. It's in my genes, and I've had training."

Ramon stared at him. "You're half Betazoid? And you didn't tell me?"

Gently, Kerryn replied, "You didn't ask, you know." He looked around, and no one was watching them quite yet. "You aren't going to freak, are you?"

Ramon took a deep breath. "No, I don't think so. When were you gonna tell me, huh?"

"When we were a little closer. It's not a bad thing, you know. And I haven't gone into you like that before. I keep my distance in my mind."

Ramon was slowly calming down. "This has been a hell of a day." He quirked again, and then said, "OK, tell me what I am thinking."

"OK." Kerryn dipped into his mind, and caught an image of the head tech wearing a multicolored toga. "Well, I don't think that toga would suit him."

"Shit, you can do it." Ramon grinned suddenly, and pointed over at another student. "What's he thinking about?"

Kerryn shook his head. "Ethics, dude."

Ramon nodded. "Good answer." His face settled into a very serious pose. "Dude, love, keep your distance with me unless we agree on it, OK? Privacy is really important to a boonie tech like me."

Kerryn nodded. "You've got my word, and promise on that." And then he asked the question that Ramon had just triggered. "Do you really love me? Really?"

Totally impassive for a moment, and then melting into a gentle smile. "Yes, Kerryn, I love you."

"I love you too, Ramon."

Each knew that a kiss would betray them, so Kerryn whispered, "Settle for a high-five?"

"You got it." And they reached up and high-fived each other, grinned and Ramon finished his lunch.

Totentanz stopped by later that week, and Kerryn had the enjoyment of showing Doryn around in the evening. He, his father, Ramon, and the head tech had a pleasant time in the FQ bar, and Doryn was amazed at how mature and successful his son had become. Of course the conversation devolved into tech talk, and Doryn was left out of some of it, but the manly way that Kerryn would toss down Bourbon and laugh gave him such pride.

Of course, they went out to Totentanz, found a dozen small problems, fixed them, and Kerryn showed off his Romulan interaction with the warp core. Doryn presented Kerryn with a precious item for this visit: a Turian-sized micro-warp drive. With proper installation in the expansion bay, power routing, and controls, the little Turian Zephyr could achieve Warp 2. And so Ramon and Kerryn spent all their spare time doing the upgrade. Kerryn had the head tech examine it just to be sure, and the head tech congratulated them on a perfect installation.

It was no surprise that the maiden flight of the warp drive was perfect, except for one thing. The range on Kerryn's implant would handle several days of sublight travel, but at Warp 1 in seconds he was out of Flight School range. When he returned after only two minutes of flight, he was ordered to land immediately.

Grinning, Kerryn executed a perfect landing in the hangar, shut down the Zephyr and climbed out of the cockpit to find himself standing in front of the head tech, the Flight Commander, and the Station Commander. Uh oh. Or more likely, oh crap.

"Sirs?"

The head tech was grinning. The Flight Commander spoke first.

"Your implant tracer went off scope for two minutes. The station is in an uproar. Please explain yourself."

Kerryn was confused. "I don't understand, sir. This is my vessel, a Turian Zephyr. I am qualified to fly independently on it. Since I was staying within the same parsec, there was no requirement to file a flight plan."

"Your implant!" Kerryn held up his arm, and the Flight Commander scanned it. His eyes popped wide open.

The head tech commented to the Station Commander, "As I told you."

The Station Commander nodded. "Gold Four, how is it that you are warp capable in a Turian?"

So Kerryn explained the installation of the micro-warp drive. He showed the Station Commander and Flight Commander the adaptations and installations. He powered up the system and showed them the performance profiles.

The Flight Commander looked at the other two. "I'm lost. Do you get it?"

The head tech nodded. "Not only do I get it, I inspected it at his request before flight. It is expertly done."

The Station Commander nodded too. "It has been many years, but from what I can tell, I agree. There is no safety risk, and no violation of procedures. We seem to have assumed that none of our flight students would be able to manage a warp- capable ship. Especially a Turian Zephyr D, if I am not mistaken?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Formidable work, Gold Four. Even now, you are a person to be reckoned with." He turned stern. "Don't let it go to your head." The Station Commander turned to the others. "Cancel the alert. Amend procedures so that all warp-capable student assets must file a flight plan before departure." And with their agreement, they turned and departed.

Kerryn started shaking. Formidable? Him? He was fourteen. Crap. But he had done nothing wrong other than to catch the station off guard. And that was an accident! He went over and sat down on a lift, to settle down.

One of the techs came over with coffee. "Here. We heard it all. Jeez, you got them riled!"

"How riled?"

"Riled enough for a yellow alert, and an all-persons report as to your whereabouts."

"Oh fuck. Ramon knew where I was going." The shaking had returned briefly.

"He probably told the head tech."

Kerryn drained the coffee. "Thanks, but I needed something a lot stronger than this."

"Next time you are in the bar, I guarantee you someone will buy you a drink. This NEVER happens."

Ramon made sure he was OK when he saw him. His roommates pounced on him and wanted to know what happened. Rumor flew for the rest of it. But within a couple of days, it had settled down.

Ratings were published, and Kerryn was up there. Not the best, but in the top ten. That guaranteed a position in War School. Illiar had also now almost made it up there, and while he was happy for his friend, he didn't think Illiar had the right temperament for war.

Ramon and Kerryn were in the bar again when suddenly things got suspiciously subdued. Kerryn glanced out the side of his vision and saw none other than the Station Commander there, looking for someone. He was in casual clothes, and it was obvious that the respect of the man was commanded by his presence. If he had been in uniform, everyone would be at attention.

Kerryn knew when the eyes landed on him, and sighed. "Ramon, don't freak, but the Station Commander is on his way over." Ramon nodded quickly, but Kerryn could see him torque up. And then he was on Kerryn's right side.

"Gold Four?"

Kerryn turned, and nodded. "Yes, sir." And then on impulse, he gestured to the chair. "Would you like to join us?"

The gentleman smiled, and could recognize when a student was buffering for another one. But why not? "For a few moments. But then I have to go watch the mixer." He looked at Kerryn's clothes. "Most students enjoy the mixers. You haven't been to one."

Kerryn nodded, surprised. "No, sir. They are a bit too eclectic for me, and Ramon too, so we usually drink and talk tech instead, sir."

The commander's eyes flicked to Ramon, who had calmed down and gained some poise. He was amazed at how cool Kerryn was. "Sounds like you think of yourselves as boonies."

Defiance rose, but politely Kerryn nodded. "Yes, sir."

The commander stopped and shook his head. "Well, the mixers serve a purpose more than getting laid, you know." Kerryn's eyebrows raised high, and Ramon gulped. "Social skills are important, and while I have no complaints after talking to you, Ramon here could use some socialization. I suggest that it would be a very good idea for you two to go to the mixer, and at least talk tech there. You can also watch our pride and joy make complete asses of themselves if you want also. This bar," he gestured around, "is a great place to be. But not always."

Kerryn heard an implied order. "Sir, thank you for your guidance. We'll see you there."

"Good answer. Much easier than me ordering you two to go." And he bade them farewell, and they left.

"OK, Ramon, what do you have that is sexy to wear?"

"Huh?" Ramon was quaking.

"Come on, he's right. If you can't have an off-duty conversation with your commander, you need more practice. I'll tell you what. We'll go together, and before each one we'll come here and get loaded. How's that?"

Ramon laughed. He had such a great laugh, and it was relatively rare to hear. "Deal. Meet back here ready to conquer in thirty minutes." They split up and went to change.

Kerryn knew what he wanted to wear. After all, he was dressing for Ramon. He had replicated a nice matte dark brown pants and shirt combination, where the shirt was longer and more like a tunic. With his long hair, this gave Kerryn a nice, comfortable feel but the outfit showed off his body well. The only ornament was a Guild Membership pin on the collar. He brushed his hair until it hung like rough silk. And he thought to himself that this was the first time he had ever actually gone to lengths to make himself attractive for anyone. He hoped Ramon would like it.

They met back at the bar, Kerryn first. He was well enough known now among the older regulars that they recognized someone dressed for an occasion. Whistles echoed through the bar, and Kerryn grinned and winked in response.

Ramon entered. He looked good in a gray shirt and pants. Somewhat techno in style, whereas Kerryn was going for neutral. But when Ramon saw Kerryn, his eyes widened, and he just stared. Kerryn decided to bail him out.

"Ramon, you look great! Who knew you would clean up so well?" And Ramon flushed, grinned and joined him.

"Kerryn, you could fuck me now if you wanted to, you look so incredibly hot."

Kerryn spoke softly. "Someday soon, I promise. But we usually take our clothes off for that." And that sent Ramon laughing again.

Two drinks, and then they went to the mixer. That turned out to be a lot more interesting than they considered. For one thing, girls kept coming over to them to talk and socialize. Kerryn had no problem with girls, being truly neutral on the idea. Ramon remained kind of quiet, until one of them sat on his lap as a greeting. Kerryn winked at him, and Ramon laughed and found some skill at bantering.

This puzzled the girls to no end. And so they kept coming back, although everyone's patience eventually runs out and it slowed down. It was odd enough to see a flyer and a tech at the same table, let alone conversational, but to be also really cute and uninterested? Bizarre.

Qualifying exams were approaching. These were a series of day-long written and flight tests over a period of several weeks that were designed to evaluate, certify and grade the flight students. During the tests, Kerryn and Ramon barely saw each other as the exams were so intense and continuous. But all those who passed would come out with a third class flight license. For Kerryn who already had one, it just meant extra quals on the different ship classes. Just the same, he might get an upgrade out of it.

Eight weeks later, the ratings came out, and again Kerryn was near the top, but not at the top. That was fine by him, and when he went up for the update on his implant, the Flight Commander grinned.

"Gold Four, congratulations on excellent performance. Since you already had a third class license, you earned an upgrade. More importantly, your upgrade was sufficient for a first class flight license and certification. Congratulations, Lieutenant."

Kerryn flushed red with excitement. "Thank you, sir!" And they handed him his three star pin, which he immediately put on the left collar tab next to his Guild emblem.

"Before you go, Lieutenant, there is one more thing." The Head Technician stepped forward, and updated his implant as well. He handed him a bronze pin as well. "Congratulations, Master Technician."

Kerryn's jaw dropped. "How is that possible, sir?"

"We techs continually test and evaluate. We have our ways. Even though you did not enroll in the Tech program, you have met all its qualifications, as has Ramon too, and when that is done, rank should not be withheld." He grinned, shook hands, and then shooed him off.

An hour later, Kerryn stood in front of the mirror in his new Guild uniform. Brown shirt, brown pants, brown boots, with an optional brown jacket. Good thing it was brown. The Guild crest was on his shirt, and he placed the first class flight pin on the left collar, and the Master Technician pin on the right collar. He struck a pose in the mirror, and a sexy young Guild member looked back at him. A mixer tonight, the bar beforehand with Ramon, and then a month-long break before Flight resumed.

He hadn't told anyone how that month was being spent. He intended to tell Ramon tonight if he thought it would go well. Belay that, Kerryn thought. I'm going to tell him anyway. I owe him that much.

When he entered the bar, Ramon was there as were some of the other senior techs. When they saw his two pins, the deafening roar of approval that took place echoed out into the mall area. Ramon was speechless for a moment, and then hearty congratulations abounded.

They looked so good. Lieutenant Kerryn and Master Technician Ramon. Side by side, grinning. No one knew who started it, but someone started chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" and while the bar suddenly realized the truth between these two, the approval and chanting grew and grew.

Ramon looked terrified at Kerryn, and Kerryn just grinned and looked at Ramon. "What do you think? They're expecting something."

"KISS!! KISS!! KISS!!"

Ramon nodded. "Just this once." And amid the catcalls and screaming, they faced each other squarely, smiled, came closer, and just briefly brushed their lips against each other. Breaking contact, their eyes squarely looking into each other among the applause, Kerryn felt the sizzle of the only time he ever would feel the unique feeling of first true love.

He said the words. "Imzadi, I love you."

Ramon flushed bright red, and they clung together briefly, and then each had to have a drink after that. Four later and quite merry, they sailed into the mixer with grins on their faces.

One would almost call it an anachronism. This mixer had more formality than any other, in that all the newly licensed flyers and techs were strutting around in new uniforms. It wasn't quite as much about getting laid as it was showing off. But that only lasted an hour or so, and then it was back to finding someone to get laid with.

Thomas and Mike, Kerryn's roommates noticed Kerryn enter with Ramon. Thomas grinned, and Mike made a curious noise.

"Jeez, Thomas, you'd think they were dating or something."

Thomas decided to let him in on it. "Dude, they are. Where've you been?"

"Shit. Look, he made First Class. And a Master Technician!" Mike was awed. "He's incredible that way."

Thomas nodded. "Yeah. If only he would loosen up a little. He's going to be miserable if he can't relax."

Mike saw the truth in that. "You're right." He grinned. "Come on, we owe him his recognition."

There were many congratulations among all the students. Kerryn was generally liked among those few who knew him, but no one could fault his flying. There was only one hurdle to make it through. Illiar.

Illiar saw Kerryn, and went over to congratulate him. They had kind of resolved the boonie thing. But when Illiar saw that Kerryn had made First Class, his feelings were mixed. Illiar had done well. But this boonie had taken all the glory.

They finally stood opposite each other. Kerryn saw Illiar's Third Class pin, smiled and congratulated him. "Illiar, way to go! You are going to absolutely love the independence. I am so happy for you."

Illiar fought with words. He wanted to lash out. He wanted to make some snide remark. But Kerryn had devoted all his waking moments to this, whereas Illiar had played, gotten laid, and moved in political circles. Important circles. He realized that someday he might need an ally in Kerryn, and Kerryn had done nothing against him. So he bowed somewhat stiffly, put on a plastic smile and congratulated him on doing so well.

Kerryn knew it was hard. But Illiar would have to adapt. And as he watched the sequence go by, he let Illiar come to his conclusion, and all was well enough.

Much later, Kerryn and Ramon sat at a table in relative quiet. Kerryn was dreading bringing up the next topic, but fortunately Ramon was observant enough to know something was bothering his love.

"OK, little boy, what is it?"

Kerryn rolled his eyes. "It's Lieutenant Little Boy to you."

"Sure it is. What's up?"

Go ahead, Kerryn thought. "Well, we have a month off. You're going home for the time."

"Yup. I'm going to miss you."

"I am going to miss you. But I'm going to be really busy."

"Oh? Totentanz have that many problems?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No. I'm going to take a series of qualifying exams during most of the month."

Ramon picked his head up in interest. "Oh? With who?"

"Starfleet."

Ramon looked at him, dumbfounded. "Starfleet? As in the Academy?"

"Yes, although I have prepared to test out of the Academy."

"Why?"

Kerryn looked away. "My dad and I have discussed it for years. It is every pilot's dream, in a way. Big ships, latest technology. Not scrounging around like I do for Totentanz. Not having to worry about money."

Ramon was silent. Then, he said in a small voice, "Starfleet is what everyone hopes for someday. I knew you and I might be hired in different places, but somehow we could make it work. Would Starfleet allow that?"

Kerryn nodded. "There's a lot of crossover between the Guild and Starfleet."

Ramon sat there. "Well, you will come back for me?"

"Oh god, Ramon, I won't go into Starfleet if I can't have you near me!"

They just held hands for a moment, and then Ramon nodded. "You have to try, and we will find a way to be together." And before it turned into more, they exited the mixer and went to Ramon's rooms for some intensely physical sharing and support. They as yet had not made it past really intense kissing and stroking, and there was no need tonight. They fell asleep together, half-naked in Ramon's bed.

The following morning, Lieutenant Kerryn escorted Master Technician Ramon to his waiting ship, meeting his parents and seeing him off. And then, raising the implant for hangar access, he strode confidently across the huge hangar towards the little Turian Zephyr D in full sight of the remaining class, filed his flight plan, and gracefully launched from the hangar out into space before going into warp for his rendez-vous with the Totentanz. He was fourteen, and so far a walking success story, and of course, a boonie.

Doryn was bursting with pride, and together they spent a week going through the Starfleet EPU. Kerryn had completed the program, but wanted to refresh it from his new perspective. It might help him glean a few insights. And it filled the time until the handoff.

Finally, Totentanz arrived at the handoff point. The USS Lexington, a Federation starship would be meeting them there to pick Kerryn up for the external exam meetings. It had cost them a thousand credits, but once that exam fee was paid, it was up to Starfleet to collect, test, and redeliver the candidate. So, for Totentanz in the middle of its cargo flight, Kerryn would depart in the Turian Zephyr and meet the Lexington nearby.

Kerryn was ready. He lifted the little Turian out of the hangar, waggled his wings in farewell, and went to warp. It would be about forty minutes. During that time, he thought carefully about Ramon, and the Guild. Was Starfleet reaching too far? His success in the Guild seemed ensured. His thoughts continued to run deep until he was hailed.

"Turian Zephyr, this is the USS Lexington."

"Lexington, acknowledged. ETA is two minutes. Please secure your hangar to receive me."

"Very good. Here are the coordinates."

"Thanks."

Kerryn saw the ship now, and guided her behind the main section until he matched their velocity vector. The doors opened, and he eased the little craft in. All stop, magnetic catches in place, and a system shutdown, and he was there. He jumped down from the cockpit to be greeted by an Ensign.

"Ensign Dallow, sir. You are?"

"Lieutenant Kerryn of the Freighter Guild, Flight Officer First Class and Master Technician."

Ensign Dallow seemed unimpressed. "Right this way. All the students in for the exam are on Deck Ten, which includes the testing center, the holodeck, and Ten Forward, our main lounge. You don't have a Starfleet clearance, so you will be restricted only to Deck Ten without an escort." And he rattled on with standard information and protocol.

At one point, exiting a turbolift they passed a large window, and Kerryn stopped to look. It showed the entire back end of the vessel, the engineering section, and the nacelles. Clear, clean, pristine. Well-lit. It was like heaven.

Ensign Dallow coughed politely. He loved doing this. The boonies always loved this view.

He entered his quarters, to get settled. Ensign Dallow gave him a communicator and had one more comment for him.

"Lieutenant, we have one final piece of advice on the testing. For this exercise all your simulations will be using a Soyuz-class starship. You have about twelve hours before the tests begin, and often it helps to review the class."

Kerryn nodded. "Soyuz A or A Plus?"

Dallow grinned. No one had ever asked him that before. This one would do well. "A Plus." And the door closed.

Kerryn was in awe. A real starship, larger than any he had been on before. Self-opening doors, crew running around busy with tasks, unlimited replicator use, and no money! Everything was free! Well, that wasn't quite true, but it was much less focused on monetary values. His hand caressed the walls and furnishings around him. Oh yeah, voice activation.

"Computer."

Chirp.

"Dim lights to seventy percent."

Chirp. The lights went down a bit. Less harsh, a warmer feeling. Slowly he began to immerse himself in this environment. He called up a deck ten outline, found where everything was, and then went out and wandered the deck. He could easily get lost except that this was he - he never got lost in space. And so with curiosity he entered the lounge at Ten Forward.

Wow. It was like a nightclub. Tables scattered around, quiet music in the background. Very much out of the element for him. This wasn't a freighter bar. Many officers in uniform. Quiet discussions, occasional laughter.

"Here for the exams?" Kerryn turned to find an older officer addressing him. He nodded mutely.

"Well, best of luck. It's open seating, and synthehol is available at the bar."

Without thinking, Kerryn asked, "Any real alcohol?"

Surprised, the officer shrugged. "There's always something."

Kerryn took a seat at a small table. He stared out into space, the star field streaming by. He was very far from home, and very alone. Suddenly, he wished he were anywhere other than on the Lexington. Ramon was very far away.

"No panicking." Someone had sat down with him. It was an ensign, young, and female. She smiled at him. "Sorry, but I could see it building. You must be from far out of Federation space?"

"Pretty far. Delvin Six."

She whistled. "Near the Cardassian border, too. Tense area." She held out her hand. "I'm Maria.You?"

"Kerryn." Apparently they were leaving rank behind.

"You're pretty young for the exams."

Kerryn smiled. "I'm almost fifteen." He regarded her curiously. "Did you attend the Academy?" When she nodded, he continued, "What was it like?"

"Wonderful, hard, challenging, thrilling, all those things. It isn't easy, but it is certainly formative. I grew an awful lot there." And she went on to describe the activities, the flight school, and the rest. It would be like a dream come true.

The doors to the bar opened, and Kerryn glanced back warily, but only more officers were admitted. Maria noticed this.

"You're a little touchy. Is it that sensitive out by you?"

Kerryn nodded. "Freighter Guild members are ok, but every door opening could be a business opportunity or a threat."

"Hmm. Starfleet gives us a modicum of security."

They chatted a bit, and Maria grew to respect this kid. He was years older than he should be. And cute. He would be gorgeous someday, but right now he was like a puppy that she wanted to stroke, cuddle and hug. When Kerryn finally began to relax a little, Maria noticed that his eyes twinkled and his smile was easier. Maybe he was gorgeous now, she thought.

"Kerryn, it has been a pleasure. But I'm going to bed. It's been a long shift."

Kerryn stood. "Good idea. It's been about twenty hours since I left. Eight to go to the exams. Thanks for joining me."

"You're welcome." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Good luck!" And she left him.

Kerryn went back to his cabin. He took an ultrasonic shower, which he hated but it got him clean, and he went to bed. His last thoughts were of the Soyuz A-plus class vessel. Not bad.

At 0700 Kerryn was admitted to the testing center, for basic paperwork and the exam selection. He paid his thousand credits, and checked off all the exams on the list. The exam coordinator raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. For a thousand credits, Kerryn would take every exam they had!

Eight hours later, he was exhausted and his fingers were very stiff. It had been grueling. Engineering was very tedious but he knew he aced that one. Communications too. The next set were sixteen hours from now. The examiner addressed the five candidates.

"On this deck you will find the Holodeck. You may find it some use in relaxation."

Kerryn got his first look at the other students. He was not impressed. Three were human, and were older, perhaps in their twenties. They were obviously friends, and not taking this very seriously. The fourth was a girl, who on the break had kept saying, "Admiral Nachayev told me that ." to some obscure topic, fact or fiction. They were all Federation members, but apparently not on the regular exam sequence. That kind of made Kerryn feel even more alone. There were no other outsiders.

They did try to chat at the lunch break. Kerryn had felt a little foolish, standing in front of the food replicator as he asked for Cholyuk Soup. It was a distinctly Romulan dish, and the Federation system did not recognize it. So he settled for a chicken sandwich and vegetables. But even lunch separated Kerryn from the others. He had more than a year of flight experience, and a lifetime in space. These four were all planet-bound. They had never flown in anything smaller than a shuttle, and never piloted anything. The one thing they had in common was their awe of a starship.

Kerryn thought back to his virtual captaincy as Gold Four. In hindsight, he had loved it. Maybe he would someday be a Starfleet captain.

Surprising, the ensign named Maria met him in Ten Forward that evening. They were much more conversational, and he opened up to her about feeling awkward as the only outsider. She sympathized. And then the magic happened.

"So, I hear you flew in on your own. You have your own ship?"

Kerryn nodded, his eyes lighting up. "Yes. It's a little on the dated side, but I've got a micro-warp drive installed so I can hit warp two."

Her eyes lit up. "You know engineering?"

He grinned, straightened, and said, "Lieutenant Kerryn, Freighter Guild Flight Officer First Class and Master Technician at your service."

Her jaw dropped. "Wow. Very good, lieutenant."

This was the first girl, no, the first woman, that had interested Kerryn. "Would you like to see my ship?"

She grinned, and nodded. "Let's go. It's in the shuttle hangar?"

"Yes." And she escorted him down to the hangar, where the little Turian was parked.

"Ah, a Turian Zephyr! With some modifications? Very nice. Much better than the Prevyar crap that they keep selling."

"I see you know your craft. Then come see this. This is a Zephyr D, the last of five made, and hand signed by Turian himself!" And together they went over the ship.

Maria kept her objectivity. But this kid knew his stuff if he could install a micro-warp drive in a Turian. She hoped that he wouldn't figure out her secret. And so she claimed fatigue, and they returned to deck ten and she took him back to his quarters.

Kerryn smiled. "Thanks, Maria. You didn't have to listen to all that."

She shook her head. "No, but I enjoyed it immensely. I'll see you tomorrow." And the door closed.

Kerryn went to bed. But his thoughts were of Maria.

Kerryn was the only candidate being tested the next two days. Ambassadorial took nearly the entire second day, and included a holodeck simulation of an encounter. That had blown his mind, as the holodeck was so incredibly lifelike. He could smell the stench of the race he was negotiating with, but was able to hold his composure. But his Betazoid skills did not help with a hologram.

Cultural Qualifying wasn't too bad, although it was short. Vulcans, Klingons, Ferengi, the other Federation races he could keep track of. Too bad Romulans weren't in the exam.

Science Qualifying took the third day. That wiped him out. Engineering science was one thing, but life science was nasty. He knew he couldn't remember the reproductive habits of the Hoorta, but he had no problem with the Andorians.

At the end of the third day he found the holodeck empty as he passed it. Curious, he entered to find the lined black and white grid around him. Hmm.

"Computer."

Chirp.

"Set to evening, planet Betazed, middle latitudes near the ocean."

"Program complete." And swoosh, a warm breeze blew over him as he stood in the orange fading daylight with the purple waves gliding on the white sand. A pristine city was nearby, and the air was warm and sweet.

He stood there, just absorbing the amazing feeling and yet knowing it wasn't real. But suddenly to his left, the arch appeared and the door opened. The girl came in with one of the boys, both from the testing center. They were giggling together, and didn't notice Kerryn for a few seconds.

"Oh! I'm sorry, did we interrupt?"

Kerryn knew the look. They were here to fuck. Bitterness rose in him, but he graciously shook his head. "No, I was just leaving. End Program." And the grid returned.

"It was beautiful! Where was it?"

"My mother's home planet. I'd never visited it before. Good bye, now." And Kerryn left.

He was frustrated. Didn't they take these exams seriously? Was Starfleet to be blown off like this? Angry, he was on his way to Ten Forward when he saw Maria. The coincidence never hit him.

"Going somewhere? Looks like you had a bad day."

In the hall? Why not. He sighed. "I was on the holodeck, in a very special place. Two of the other students came in unannounced looking for a place to fuck, and didn't notice me until it was stupid." Sheepish now, he continued. "I was so tired, I just wanted a little peace and wonder, and they ruined it, so I let them have it."

Maria could see the agitation. "Come with me. There's another holodeck on deck twelve." And she brought him down to it, and followed him in.

"Go ahead. Where were you?"

"Computer."

Chirp.

"Set to evening, planet Betazed, middle latitudes near the ocean."

"Program complete." The swoosh, and it was all back again.

Maria exclaimed, "It's beautiful!"

Kerryn could talk to Maria. "It's my mother's home planet. She left my dad and I when I was almost five years old. She was claustrophobic, and had to return home or go insane." He stared into the ocean mist and the darkening sky. "I could help her remember places like this, where it was open and beautiful, and it would ease the feeling, but near the end there was nothing I could do." He turned to her. "We don't have holodecks, and it is likely I'll never visit Betazed, so this is the next best thing."

"I'm sorry."

"S'OK. Was a long time ago."

They stood and watched night fall. Maria tucked her arm in his. She was only a very small bit shorter than Kerryn. "I like this."

"So do I." And ripples of sensation propagated through his body.

Some time later, he yawned, and they laughed. "Time to go. Computer!"

"Wait." Maria stopped him. "Computer. Save program as Maria Four."

Chirp.

He looked at her, and she grinned impishly back. "I liked it. It's a great place for making out, you know."

"End program." And the grid returned, and they exited. Kerryn went to bed, but his thoughts were of Maria.

He woke to find they were in orbit around Earth, and a message saying that his final three exams, the Commander's Qualifying and the Crew Qualifying, and the Operational Qualifying Exams would be administered down on Earth. Lexington had orders to continue onward, so he climbed into his Turian and flew down.

Earth bustled with activity. He landed in the largest hangar he had ever encountered, and settled his ship. He still loved it. But once in the hangar, an escort was present to show him to the Academy. A brief walk outside, with the imposing buildings, the furor of activity and the dramatic statue of Jonathan Archer daring the Academy enrollees to adventure onward, it was all intoxicating. He did not need a room to stay in, as the exams would be over today.

He entered the room, to find the other four already there. The three boys were relaxed and bantering. The girl was explaining something with the word Nachayev to the other escort.

Suddenly, the door opened and four people dressed in black jumped into the room, firing phasers! Beams crisscrossed everywhere, and cries of surprise echoed throughout.

Kerryn had heard the doors whisk, and instinctively glanced at the doors. He saw the first phaser come out, and he flung himself to the floor with a shout of "GET DOWN!" He slid quickly behind a table and tipped it over in front of him as a shield.

Within ten seconds, everyone had stopped firing. The other four students had red glowing marks on their uniforms where the simulated phasers had marked them. Kerryn was unmarked.

"OK, your four fail the reaction test. You," pointing at Kerryn, "you pass with an outstanding. One mark is acceptable, none is exceptional." The examiner noted down on a pad. "Carry on."

Kerryn righted the table, and they were admitted to an identical testing center as on the Lexington. And the Crew Qualifying Exam began. Hours later, the other candidates left and Kerryn alone took the Commander's Qualifying exam. Neither of these were as hard as Science.

He was next escorted up into a high building, and admitted to a plush office. His escort informed him that Admiral Nuri, the head of the Academy would be interviewing him. And seconds later, he stood in the room overlooking the campus and the flight center nearby, when a short but fit man in a uniform entered.

"Please sit." And so Kerryn sat, after giving his formal greeting.

They covered his experiences, his trip out, why he wanted attend the Academy. Nuri's eyebrows raised a bit when Kerryn related his flight experiences. His age, though caught Nuri's curiosity.

"How old are you?"

"Fourteen, sir."

"Bit young for the entrance exams. We normally require a minimum age of sixteen."

"Sir, I am human with some Betazoid ancestry. That changes the age profile a bit."

The admiral nodded. "True." He looked at Kerryn shrewdly. "You've come a long way. Thank you for your interest, and we will be in contact. I believe your Operations exam is next."

Kerryn nodded. "Thank you for your time, sir."

And there he stood, minutes later, at the entrance to the simulator. The logo said Soyuz A-plus, just as advertised. Six people joined him, and introduced themselves. The lead was a young man named Ensign Holstein.

"Welcome to the Operations Exam. This is actually a subset of the Commander's Qualifying Exam. You will be the captain of a Soyuz-class vessel near the Cardassian Neutral Zone. You will receive a distress call from a freighter. We are your crew. Rather than worry about names, just call out to us by our function. Any questions?"

"How was I supposed to prepare for this?"

Holstein grinned. "You can't study for everything." The doors zinged open, and they marched in and took their positions.

Kerryn had learned a thing or two. "Ship's status, all systems." But everything checked out OK. Kerryn sat in the chair. Any moment now.

He was right. "Communications, sir! A freighter is lost in the Neutral Zone. She is identified as Kobayashi Maru, and is signaling distress."

"Helm, set intercept course. Maximum warp."

"Warp five it is, sir. Five minutes to intercept."

Kerryn had a gut feeling. "Signal Yellow Alert." And alert status was signaled. "Tactical view," and a display came up. She was deep in the Neutral Zone. This was bad. He began to swear softly in Romulan.

"Navigation, sir. Sensors are picking up three vessels in high warp." A pause, then, "Cardassian warships."

"Damn." That was Kerryn again. "Damn fool freighter for being that deep in the Neutral Zone. No real freighter would do that." And that raised some eyebrows. "Red Alert. Bring shields up, bring all weapons online. Maximum warp."

"Do we exceed the Warp Five limitation, sir?"

"Yes. We're in the Neutral Zone now, and outside Federation space. Get us there now."

It got worse from then on. Three Cardassians against an antique Soyuz. Still, the Soyuz packed some firepower and some judicious timing and maneuvering with Kerryn's command and they had disabled two of the Cardassians, and were in heated battle with the third. Then the disaster hit.

CLANG, and a shudder. A panicked voice called, "Engineering to bridge! We've got a Warp Core Breach in progress!. Ninety seconds until she blows."

Kerryn clung on. "Can you stop it?"

"No way, sir." BONG! "Sir, we just lost the starboard nacelle! It's been sliced clear off!"

"Damn!" And Kerryn swore violently in Romulan. "Why is it always the fucking STARBOARD nacelle?" Another direct hit and half his bridge crew were on the floor. Smoke was everywhere.

"TACTICAL! What's the state of the target?"

"Heavily damaged. Shields almost gone."

An idea hit him. "Do we have our tractor beam?"

"Yes, but -"

Kerryn pushed him away. "Get out of the way! Go to helm, use whatever we have in thrusters to get on the far side of the Cardassian, but up close as you can." He set the weapons on continuous fire, even though it was pointless. "Engineering! Full power to the tractor beam NOW!"

"Aye, sir?"

Kerryn set the tractor beam on their detached nacelle. He would have one chance. It lanced out, and grabbed the nacelle. And with the entire ship whining in strain, he swung the tractor beam across their side and released it, with a prayer and saying, "Take that, asshole!" In Romulan, of course.

The surviving bridge crew watched their detached nacelle swing majestically across the space unmolested to score a direct impact across the engineering section of the Cardassian. Plasma vented everywhere, and the outer hull of the Cardassian collapsed. It was going nowhere.

"Warp core breach in twenty seconds!"

Kerryn ran to the stunned Helm operator, pushed him out of the way, and set full thrusters on to the Cardassian. Shit. They wouldn't make it in time. Furious, these damned Cardassians deserve to die and someone might remember the name Kerryn someday. Go for it all.

"Ten seconds to warp core breach."

Kerryn set course for the Cardassian. They'd at least get a push and it should be enough.

The Tactical officer stood shakily. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Forcing a draw." And he engaged Warp One, which shot the Soyuz A-plus vessel forward just enough so that the warp core, seconds from exploding on its own, was overtaxed to push energy out and milliseconds after the thrust, detonated in a fiery explosion, taking the Cardassian with it at point blank range.

Or it should have. In reality, the lights went out, and the Holodeck grid returned with the six crewmen. Kerryn was breathing hard, grinning with the heat of battle. He looked up to find the other six crewmen gaping at him.

He knew the freighter survived. But they escorted him out, and Kerryn saw a row of spectators in a booth behind a visualization screen. They had watched everything, and they were staring at him.

Staring.

He had died. He had destroyed the ship. His crew, gone. There must have been something he missed. Some way out, some option not played. He failed. The looks from the crew members had been bad enough, but the spectators staring at him, that made him miserable. Embarrassed. Shit, how could he have killed off the whole ship?

They showed him to the bathroom, where he relieved what was necessary. He washed his face, and looked at his eyes. Tired. Failed. Too many exams. He couldn't have, shouldn't have handled it. So much for a promising Starfleet career.

He exited the bathroom to find one person there. Maria. She looked at him, and smiled.

"So, flyboy, how are you doing?"

He shook his head. "I've had it." Curiosity got him again. "I thought you were on Lexington."

"No, actually, I am a member of the testing staff. You've been my assignment."

"Assignment?"

She nodded, not quite matter-of-factly. "Off-duty assessment."

He stared at her. "And program Maria Four?"

She smiled. "I really did like it, you know."

Something snapped. Too far. Kerryn walked straight over to her, and stopped right in front of her. "Then perhaps you should include this in your assessment." And without waiting, he put his hands on her shoulders and placed his mouth directly on hers. Hungrily. She melted into him, her hands creeping up his back and shoulders. But after less than a minute, he broke the kiss, staring at her with fire in his eyes.

She grinned back at him. "Full marks on that one."

Defeated, Kerryn let his hands drop. "Whatever. Thanks for being there. I don't hold your assignment against you. But I'm done here." And he turned, without looking back he exited and made his way back to the hangar.

Meanwhile, the evaluation team was in an uproar. All the Romulan speech had caused them great agitation, because they didn't know what it meant. Finally they got a translator, and realized that he was swearing, including certain raucous comments about the fidelity of the scenario. But by the time they went to find the young candidate, he had departed the main hangar and was out of orbit.

Kerryn had found a Guild freighter ten hours away, and by subspace secured transport for himself and his ship. Ten hours at Warp Two. With each moment, he felt Starfleet recede from him. The last simulation was the only thing he thought he had blown. He would have to see what came out of it.

When the Guild Freighter Botula picked him up, he paid five hundred credits plus all the engineering help they needed until they arrived at Delvin Six. Both Kerryn and the crew of Botula were pleased with this result, and three days after arriving at Delvin Six, Totentanz arrived. With tears in his eyes, and the joy of his home, he settled the little Turian into its hangar, and went down to greet his father.

Doryn was very happy to have his son back, but was he different!! Out had gone a little boy to flight school with his eyes and heart in the stars. What came back was solemn, downcast and exhausted. Doryn had shaken his head, knowing now that Starfleet had probably been a bad idea, but the opportunity had presented itself and Kerryn was ready. Now his son had gotten a lot taller, had Guild rank and privilege on his own, and was so much more than the little toddler who used to race around the decks.

Kerryn just felt the overwhelming comfort of home. Things were familiar, waiting to receive him without challenge, and he knew every inch of it. The only thing missing was Ramon. His dad was his dad, but Ramon was his love, and the more he realized this the more it struck him. He just wished he could have finished Starfleet with a positive.

Kerryn was shaken out of his link because Jacen was sobbing. Hours had passed, but a lifetime had flown by. He held Jacen close until the younger man settled down.

Jacen found words to ask. "How did you get through it?"

"I had to. Like it or not, life goes on. You just endure and focus on what's next."

"Take me back."

Kerryn hesitated. "Is that such a good idea?"

"Do it. It has been explaining so much about you."

"OK." And they slid back into the continuing thread of life.

Kerryn and his father shared a long catch-up period. Kerryn then announced what he had been planning on the long flight back.

"Dad, I want to apply for the Ship Master program."

Doryn looked surprised. "You are already a Master Technician. Ship Master is a long pull."

"I'll be done with Flight in two months. I can do three months at the school, and the remaining program based from Delvin Six North, and finish up the last month back at the school."

Doryn thought it workable, and so while at the Delvin Six North station, they notified the Guild of the entry and plan. The Guild Director endorsed the program heartily, and while Starfleet could think, Kerryn was moving forward.

When he talked with Ramon over subspace, he told him everything. He told him about Maria, the holodeck, and the fatal simulation. He told him about the goof-off other students, and how alone he had felt. Telling it all came back to haunt him, and after several hours with Ramon he felt like he had cleared his conscience.

Ramon was intuitive. "Kerryn, you are such a worry-wart. I am sure you aced everything." He said that for the umpteenth time.

"Not the sim."

"Did you ever think that the sim might have been a no-win situation?"

Kerryn thought about that. "No way. None of the Guild sims do that. What would be the point? Even with the Guild one, we saved the ship. With Starfleet, the scenario wasn't even right. No freighter in this world is going to risk being deep in the CNZ alone, let alone signal distress. Duh. No, I could only have missed something, probably early on." He put it out of his mind.

Ramon smiled, and stretched the view a little bit. Kerryn took a deep breath as the bare skin of Ramon's chest came into view. "You need to concentrate on what is important."

Kerryn rose to that one, in more ways than one. "Oh god, you don't know what that's doing to me."

Ramon's eyes lit up. "Really?" He stretched the view a little more, and Ramon's bare skin was showing from the waist up. "Wanna know what it is doing to me?" He leaned forward. "I'm naked."

Sensuality surged through Kerryn. "Y-y-you are? Oh that's so hot."

"Yup." Ramon moved his hand down, and it suddenly became obvious that he was stroking his cock. "And it feels so good, too." He began to breathe a little harder, and Kerryn's hands went down to his own cock. He dropped his pants fast. This would not wait.

Meanwhile, Ramon was enjoying a good long wank. Once, Kerryn saw the tip of his cock cross onto the screen, and that sent lightning through him. Ramon looked up, saw Kerryn's enraptured face, and exclaimed "Oh YES!" as he came, shooting small jets of cum up onto his chest.

That sent Kerryn over the edge and he did likewise. However, Kerryn wasn't prepared and his cum splattered on the desk and his leg. One mortified moment, and then the both began to giggle.

"Oh jeez, Ramon, you looked so fucking hot."

"You too. Intense, almost predatory. I think you are gonna be one hell of an aggressive top."

"Ha. Back in a moment." And he quickly stepped out of view, giving Ramon a quick glimpse of his butt in the process, cleaned up, and dressed again. By the time he returned, Ramon had done likewise and was in a light shirt.

"One more week, and we're back in school."

Kerryn nodded. "I love Totentanz, but I love you too, Imzadi."

Ramon looked at him funny. "I looked that up. That's the Betazoid word for first love, although it is sometimes called the true love. Am I really that to you?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yes, Ramon, you are."

"Wow. If so," and Ramon looked sly, "we're gonna have to get us some very private time together. Are you ready for that?"

Kerryn nodded. He had come to that conclusion earlier. "All the way, dude." A thought occurred to him. Ramon was older. "Have you ever before?"

A shadow crossed his face, but Ramon nodded. "A number of times. I know what I am doing. You?"

"No. But I read a lot."

That sent Ramon laughing. "Wow, a virgin! I have so much to show you."

Kerryn felt tingly inside at that pronouncement. "I most certainly hope so!" And they finished the call warmly.

One week later, he was back at school, and Ramon returned as well. The problem was, the techs were sent out on an internship cruise almost immediately, and Ramon would be gone for months. But in the seven days before the departure, Kerryn and Ramon took the adventure into sex.

Two days before he left, they had gone to the bar. They had had some drinks, and then they had gone back to Ramon's room. He was lucky in that he had one roommate who had been firmly told to go sleep somewhere else that night. Ramon and Kerryn had returned there, merry, and with the lights low and the door closed, they slipped into each other's arms and began their ritual of kissing, deeply. Shirtless.

Ramon was taller, and older. He usually started the kisses, and he wasted no time with Kerryn. It was his hands that set Kerryn on fire. Hands that caressed his smooth skin, brushing his nipples on his chest, stroking his neck and shoulders. Hands that boldly slid down his body, down to his waist, and then very slowly below and onto his butt. The groans of pleasure from Kerryn's still high voice fueled their passion, and when the kiss broke Kerryn buried his face in Ramon's neck, savoring the skin there. His own hands had crept onto his love's chest, palms spread flat and fingers splayed.

Into the older boy's neck, Kerryn whispered, "I am ready for anything." And with that, Ramon tucked his caressing hands down inside Kerryn's clothes, over the taut skin of his butt. Kerryn, not to be outdone, dropped one hand down across Ramon's stomach, and undid the snap that was binding Ramon's pants. Deftly, Kerryn slid his hand across the front to stroke the hard cock that was hiding there.

"Oh god, Kerryn!" And before he could stop it, Kerryn had dropped to his knees, and was gently pulling his pants all they way down. "What are you doing?"

A playful grin, and then Kerryn replied, "The best that I can, of course." And taking a step in to a marvelous new world, Kerryn covered Ramon's cock with his mouth, and tongue. Ramon cried out in pleasure as Kerryn put his fantasy life to use and worked sensational miracles, his tongue covering the head, snaking down along underneath until reaching the bottom, and then wrapping itself back around out to the head again. He alternated his tongue with straight up and down motion, and little by little he could taste the elusive flavor of pre-cum on his tongue.

Looking up, Ramon was staring down at him in wonder and amazement when he suddenly widened his eyes and said, "Dude, I'm gonna cum!"

Kerryn wanted this, his lover's cum, desperately. Placing his hands on Ramon's hips, he sped up his ministrations until Ramon exclaimed as his body went rigid with pleasure, and began the rhythmic thrusting with orgasm. God, he loved it as it shot into his mouth. The taste too, but the knowledge that he had done this for his boyfriend and had made him feel so good, that gave him the glow of success.

When Ramon was done, they sat down on the bed. Kerryn looked incredibly smug. Ramon finally returned to normal breathing, and then revealed the mystery to Kerryn.

"No one ever did that for me before."

Kerryn was surprised. "Really? I thought you had done a lot of this before."

Ramon shook his head. "I've butt-fucked, but nothing like that. It must have tasted gross?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No, not bad at all really." He smiled. "I liked doing it, especially watching you and knowing that it was because of me that you felt so good."

Ramon stared at him. "That's deep." He smiled. "Thanks, Kerryn. But I don't think I can do that for you."

Kerryn nodded, though inside he was disappointed. "Understood." But he reached over, seeing Ramon's cock slowly hardening, and began to stroke it gently.

"Mmmm, dude that feels so great." Ramon tilted his head, and as he got back to full hardness, he whispered, "If I'm real gentle, and we go real slow, can I fuck you?"

Kerryn nodded, slowly. "Oh yes sir."

Ramon grabbed some lube, and positioned Kerryn on the bed on his back. He lifted Kerryn's legs up, and uncapping the lube, applied it liberally to his cock. With a little extra on his finger, he gently pressed his way in Kerryn's tight pink entrance.

Oooh, that felt good to Kerryn. He closed his eyes. He knew it would hurt, he knew it would feel superb for Ramon, but it would be hard for him the first time. But they needed this intimacy, this experience together. Kerryn needed it. He needed someone to love him, to want him, and he needed that someone to fuck him. Now. He was ready. And as he felt the pressure of entrance from the finger, he sighed and tried to relax.

The finger removed itself, and he heard Ramon ask one more time, "Ready?" to which he nodded. Freighter training in place, he froze his features in a happy look as he felt the coolness on his butt hole turn to a push, then a stretch, and finally a stretching burn as Ramon eased his cock in.

"OH GOD KERRYN!" was all Ramon could say, and the burning grew until tears formed in Kerryn's eyes as the cock of his lover forever severed his virginity. Wider, stinging, until he thought it could take no more and Kerryn was about to stop him when the crown of the head passed, and Ramon groaned in appreciation. Kerryn felt the muscles ease just a little, and the pain lessened a bit. He had done the hard part.

"It's so fucking tight! Oh my god it's so tight!" breathed Ramon. He just held there, staring at the gorgeous boy whom he was impaling, staring at the tight little entrance that was gripping his cock. Kerryn's face was covered in sweat, and with a tinge of guilt he realized that he had really hurt this little boy.

A minute passed, and Kerryn felt the transition happen. Opening his eyes wide to the sensation-ravaged features of his lover, he wiggled slightly and grinned. "Fuck me, Imzadi. Fuck me hard. Fuck me like you want to, like there is no tomorrow, no yesterday, just now. Fuck me!"

Well, with encouragement like that, thought Ramon, he must be ready. And so he began his stroking, and the slick pistoning in and out. Kerryn was so incredibly tight that Ramon could feel the orgasm building again and so he sped up even faster.

All Kerryn could see was that pleasure seared his lover's face as he pummeled his butt. But it was fine, and the filling and emptying sensation was causing him his own waves of pleasure. With a cry he felt his orgasm hit, and he threw himself into it, squeezing his butt as tight as it would go as the jets of cum rocketed out of his own cock and onto his stomach.

Ramon felt it happen, and slammed his full length into Kerryn at Kerryn's moment of orgasm, which seconds later was followed by his own, pumping more cum into the warm and satisfying inside of his lover. This had been close to the hottest sex he had ever had. His other friends had all been experienced, but this time with a virgin who was younger than himself had been the ultimate thrill.

The moment passed, and Ramon pulled out to lean forward and kiss Kerryn. Kerryn's cum squelched between them, and that caused a round of giggles both at the sound and the sensation. This was new for both of them, and for just a short moment they played, sliding around in the gooey liquid before it dried and became annoying.

They took turns cleaning up. A kiss, a smile, and a short conversation. How else do you end something like this? Kerryn wanted to stay the night, but he could tell that Ramon needed privacy, solitude, or something. He was not a post-coital cuddler.

"Ramon, I loved that."

"So did I. I'm sorry it hurt so much."

"It was worth it. Remember, I've read a lot." That sent them giggling. "Good night."

"Good night." And Kerryn left to return to his room.

However, it was 0230 when he returned, and Thomas was awake. Thomas was no dummy, and he caught the slight odor of sex from Kerryn. Figuring he was new to this, he decided to give him some advice.

"Kerryn?"

Kerryn jumped. "Thomas! Didn't mean to wake you."

Quiet, then, "Your first time as a bottom?"

Kerryn blushed. "Yes. It was wonderful."

Thomas grinned in the dark. "It takes a while for the muscles to return to normal. Wait half an hour, take a shower, then sleep on your stomach and you will be fine in the morning."

Kerryn realized the sense in this. "Thanks."

Thomas nodded. "I'm happy for you."

Kerryn did as he was told, and in the morning he was sore but otherwise unaffected. But he had this silly little grin on for a while, until the rigors of school got back to him.

Ramon spent the rest of his time in orientations, and then departed. They only had a few minutes, in which Kerryn wished him the best and told him that he would miss him. Ramon nodded, his eyes full of emotion that he could not express. And then he was gone, and the ship was gone.

Kerryn overloaded his class schedule, and pushed ahead. He continued to log more flight hours in the different craft than any other student. When they started training on the standard Guild fighter craft, Kerryn was ready. It was even more agile than the Turian, and much more sensitive than the trainer craft. But all the fliers pushed through the sims, the flight training, maneuvers, and more. Kerryn was near the top in performance. But then again, he virtually lived in the craft, or under it for the tech work.

From the War School curriculum, he took individual and small unit tactics. He studied weapons, defensive strategies, and surveillance. He especially took to reconnaissance, although there wasn't much use for that. And on a whim, he took external cultural tactics for both Romulans and Cardassians. The former might help him with Totentanz if it came to that. The latter was reality, in that the Cardassians were the nearest threat to the Guild operations.

Kerryn saw that Illiar had avoided all the small craft choices, and had gone straight for warship and flotilla. Kerryn would have to wait for that, if he got to it. It was pretty far removed from where his preferences were. He grinned. Admiral was not in his desires, despite his early childhood precocious position.

He waited for Ramon. No word from him, but that was not unusual. He realized that he would be back on Totentanz in another month himself, after having graduated Flight School. Doryn had already booked him a suite of rooms on the Delvin Six North station, from whence he could base his study and ship out for the required internships. He and Ramon would have two weeks of overlap. That made him smile. Kerryn's butt had just itched for another opportunity with Ramon.

Four months is a long time. During that time, Kerryn's voice finally settled into its light baritone. He grew to his final height - not tall, not short, but somewhere in the middle. He started shaving regularly, and his cock seemed to have a mind of its own.

There was not a single word of communication from Starfleet. Occasionally this would hit Kerryn, usually just before bed, when his thoughts drifted to the future. But a cold silence, like that of infinite space was the only message from Starfleet.

Dressing for one of the mixers that he now went to, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was very, very nice. Kind of wary, but not threatening. But when he smiled, it was warm and inviting. And each time, he went to the bar, had two bourbons and talked with the techs who were there, and then went to the mixer.

He selected a girl, remembering Maria, and made a pleasant acquaintance. He learned how to do basic dance, and decided that that was NOT good for him. Without Ramon, he used the opportunity to polish his social presence. On the boring mixers, he would pretend that there were hostile spies from Cardassia in the mixer and he would play the elaborate dance of reconnaissance with them, even though they had no clue what he was doing. In fact, they didn't know he was doing it, and that was his goal.

Days counted down, he turned fifteen, and finally the engineering cruise returned. Kerryn stood at the hangar, and waited to see Ramon come down the exit. Finally, he did, chatting amiably with one of the other techs. And when Ramon caught sight of Kerryn, he smiled, waved, and sighed. Kerryn looked gorgeous. And that was why he sighed.

Kerryn had known not to scan Ramon, but when they hugged in greeting Kerryn felt that it was just a little cool. Four months of familiarity lost. But he was talkative enough, and they soon were back in the groove of things. They went to the bar, and had a few drinks.

Things were different. Kerryn could tell. But he wasn't sure how. Ramon looked tired, and a little distracted. He bade Kerryn goodnight early, leaving him in the bar. Odd. Kerryn was just a bit disappointed because he had been hoping for a joyous and enthusiastic reunion. Ramon had just blown him off. He shrugged. Imzadi was allowed moods, too.

After a while, Kerryn decided to call it a night. He left the bar and began walking back to his room. He stopped, however, when he heard fragments of a heated discussion in the hallway.

". you're an asshole, that's what."

"He's not. He's just found better, that's all."

More muttering, then, ". totally waiting here for you, and this is how you repay him?" That sounded like Thomas.

"Fuck off, flyer." That was hissed in a whisper. And then as Kerryn was about to go forward, Thomas rounded the bend.

"Oh fuck."

Kerryn's eyebrows raised. "You OK?"

Thomas was ashen, and caught in indecision. "You probably don't want to go that way."

"Why? What's down there?"

Thomas sighed. "Truth."

Kerryn's resolve hardened, and he gave Thomas a bizarre look as he went round the corner. And stopped dead.

Two figures were glued to each other. Without realizing it, Kerryn scanned them and found them totally engrossed in each other. They were both techs. One of them was a boy whom Kerryn had seen from time to time.

The other was Ramon.

Kerryn stood rooted to the spot, not sure of anything. The couple broke their make-out session to some sultry laughter, and then the other boy noticed Kerryn. A quirk of the eyebrows, and Ramon turned to face the one who had called him Imzadi. The smile left his face.

"Kerryn, I ." his voice trailed off. He looked at the other boy, who now Kerryn remembered his name was Pelossi. "You'd better go."

"No." Kerryn found his voice. He heard it deep, he heard it steady. "He can stay."

There was a tense silence. Kerryn just stood. He didn't care what his face showed. And then Ramon began to speak.

"Four months is a long time. I'm lined up for a job on the same ship as he. We can be together. You know that you and I could never guarantee that."

Kerryn spoke softly. "We said we would try."

"What can I say? I changed my mind."

"I guess you did." He paused. "You know what hurts the most, Ramon?" He whispered then, "Fuck off, flyer."

Ramon turned bright red and angry. "He was butting in."

"He is my friend." Kerryn started shaking. "What about you, Ramon? Can you still be friends with a flyer?" In the silence that followed, he finished it for him. "I am still friends with my fellow techs. I guess you have a problem with that."

"Damn it, Kerryn, you don't understand!"

Kerryn broke his own rule then. "I will understand." And he slipped into Ramon's mind. And there it was. Pelossi was hot, experienced, and rich. His family owned the ship. Ramon wanted so much to be eclectic and have money after the four month tour that he had basically slept his way into Pelossi's life. The feelings between them, though, were sincere and true. Horrified, he slipped out and back to himself.

"Ramon, now I do understand." He spoke in a tragic voice. "I'm so sorry."

Ramon seethed in fury and embarrassment. "Don't you EVER do that again."

Kerryn knew the truth in that statement. "I won't have to." He smiled, sort of oddly. "Good bye, Ramon. So long, and thanks for all the fish."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's an old Earth saying." And Kerryn walked past them with Thomas in tow. The last thing he heard was Pelossi commenting, "That went better than expected."

Kerryn and Thomas made it back to the bedroom. The others were still up, and one comment from Thomas told them to leave Kerryn alone. Woodenly, he got ready for bed and slipped into the sheets. He had eleven days before graduation.

He lay there all night. It was as if he was mentally paralyzed. Kerryn could not get past the fact that his Imzadi had not only cheated on him, but left him, and more so, shattered the whole sharing and respect relationship. The slur against flyers echoed in his mind. He wondered what it would be like tomorrow, when everyone knew. Laughing at sorry little Kerryn, the flyer who got dumped by a tech.

But no one laughed. When he entered the bar, no one treated him any differently. The rest of the techs were still friends. The flyer boys didn't bat an eye. He saw Ramon eyeing his Turian Zephyr D once, but other than that they had little contact.

It took a long time for Kerryn to get over the event. Maybe it was because he was a boonie, and he interacted with few enough people that no one had hurt him that badly. He took his Master Pilot implant update in private, along with the congratulations, and the day before the formal ceremonies he bade his roommates farewell.

Thomas was seething. "You should be at graduation, Kerryn. You should get that Master Pilot cert in full public view, and the accolades with it."

Kerryn shook his head. "No. Until I can get over this, I have nothing to rejoice over."

Thomas wouldn't give up. "What are you doing next?"

"Ship Master program on Delvin Six, finishing here for a month. Then I'll partner with my father and move cargo."

They could not convince him otherwise. They all had two more terms at the school. But with sincere farewells, they saw him to the hangar, watched the little Turian take off for what they thought would be the last time, and go to warp.

Back on Totentanz, Doryn could tell that Kerryn was hurting. But Kerryn refused to talk about it. Doryn realized that his little boy was a young man now, albeit only just, but that he now had his own demons. He cornered Kerryn on that briefly at dinner one night.

They had just finished, and Kerryn had just gone staring into space. Doryn decided now was good.

"You don't have to tell me, you know. But part of growing up is making mistakes, having regrets, or even just having things happen that go wrong despite the best planning."

Kerryn stared hard at his father. Did he know anything? He ruefully figured he must, since Kerryn had stopped talking about Ramon altogether. He realized now that he had split the experience in two pieces - Imzadi was the boy before, and Ramon was the guy afterward.

"Well, dad, lets just say I've had my heart broken for the first time."

Doryn nodded. "I had figured as much. It's hard, but you will get over it." He changed the subject. "Are you ready for your string of internships?"

"Yes. I put my qualifications out and am all booked. There's quite a spread." He sighed. "Dad, I keep trying to do everything right. But I'm not getting anything out of it. I used to love the feel of a perfectly tuned system. Now, I just can't get the same feeling."

Doryn regarded his son thoughtfully. "You need a change. The internships will be perfect."

"I hope so." But it lifted his spirits that his dad thought so too.

The next nine months were spent in internships. Truly, he had a varied experience. Interns were cheap labor, and Kerryn was still fifteen but they worked him hard. However, the experience was very useful as Kerryn realized the variety of problems. His Romulan was invaluable in diagnosis, and he achieved a long list of endorsements and recommendations. He worked small ships all the way up to the immense supercargo freighters. Often, having a Master Pilot license, he was allowed to be flyer as well as tech on the more permissive ships. And he learned an incredible amount about improvising fixes. He tried some of his own, most of which were successful but a couple did not help at all. His peers took his mistakes with good humor; after all, that was what he was there for.

His last internship was on a supercargo vessel named the Tiny Tim. He had thought it very humorous, but as they approached Delvin Six and the end of his internships, the captain summoned him to the command deck.

"Ah, Kerryn. I see you are a Master Pilot."

"Yes, captain." Kerryn nodded with a smile.

"Most unique." He squinted, and then put on a lofty expression. "I feel a bit off right now. Please dock us at pylon seventeen." And he waited.

Kerryn nodded. "Which docking port?"

"Good, good. Number 5."

Oh crap. Docking Port 5 was underneath. But he did know what to do. He slowly rotated the immense supercargo, and began the descent onto the pylon. Slowly, slowly, and then with a gentle kiss the pylon connected, secured itself, and all was brought to rest.

The captain had watched him shrewdly. "You're a decent pilot. Why are you going out for Ship Master?"

Kerryn shrugged. "I'm a boonie. I've got to be both."

Laughter filled the command deck as the captain clapped him on the back. "Remember that, lad. Remember that the only reason there are socialites is that the others have to be the boonies. No boonies, no Guild."

"Yes sir, and thanks." He slipped slightly and grinned widely. "You've got a real beauty of a vessel here."

"Yes, I do." They bade farewell, and Kerryn returned to Delvin Six North, to his suite of rooms. He was only a little lonely. The last trip on the Tiny Tim had been spacious enough, but they were still three techs to a room, and one of them had had really smelly feet. Kerryn had gone back to his four hour sleep schedule just to avoid that.

In a month he would be sixteen. That was the age in which he would be recognized as an independent adult, and not dependent upon a guardian. He was pretty independent as it was, but that age would seal it.

The silence from Starfleet echoed through space like the freezing of ice.

When he arrived at his suite, after stopping in the bar for a drink and to catch up on route news, he noticed that his comm unit was beeping at him. Hmmm. He had been out for almost four weeks. This would be pretty old. Starfleet, perhaps? His heart raced as he turned it on and the message appeared. It was yesterday, and it was the Station Commander at the Guild Flight School. His heart slowed, but only a little.

"Greetings, Gold Four. Allow me to introduce Team Two in the upcoming War Game." And as Kerryn watched, both his roommates, Mike and Thomas, and a dozen other fliers, and another two dozen techs filled the screen.

Thomas spoke. "Kerryn, we need you here. I know it is just flight school, but frankly all the elitist assholes got together and rigged the selection, and we are at a severe disadvantage." The word "language!" echoed in the background, and Thomas rolled his eyes. "Your two favorite people are leading the other team. All our team wants is a fair chance. The Station Commander has granted us favorable terms on other choices, but we need you to pull it together. Please acknowledge when you can; we know you are on an internship right now but should be back soon. Thanks, Kerryn." And the image faded.

Back to flight school, to help with a war game? Some of the angst returned, and he could use a break. He had learned a lot of dirty stuff that could be used. And his two favorite people . that would be Illiar and Ramon. He snickered at what that friction would be like. And he decided that he could take a month off if the program would let him.

He called the Station Commander, who appeared on the screen shortly.

"Good day, sir, this is Gold Four."

The commander nodded. "Ah yes. What can I do for you?"

"Sir, I am trying to find a way for my program to allow me to return to the school to help Team Two in the War Game, and would appreciate any advice you might have."

The commander grinned. "Interesting. As it turns out, I've already cleared the way. You will be here to fly the game, yes, and take away an additional qualification in improvisational tactics if you win. The Ship Master program is in concurrence with this."

Kerryn's eyes went wide. "That easy?"

"Well, we anticipated that you would not be able to resist the opportunity, for a number of reasons. The most prevalent one is that with all those internships, you would not want to lose the skill of command since your success on Team Three." And his eyes twinkled.

Kerryn groaned. "Can I speak freely?"

"Just this once."

"What role do they really want me for?"

"The discussion I overheard was that they wanted to make you Admiral."

Kerryn shook his head. "I don't want to be Admiral. Leading Team Three wiped me out."

"I think you could pretty much create your own role."

That caught an idea. He grinned suddenly. "Sir, if I do not accept, who is likely to be chosen as Admiral?"

"Thomas Silver. He has shown the greatest aptitude. But note that the opposing team is formidable."

Kerryn nodded. "Yes, Ramon is certainly formidable that way. How about Illiar?"

"He performs well on structured operations." And that sealed it. The word structured was what Kerryn wanted to hear.

"Sir, I believe I will accept this opportunity, though not as Admiral."

The Station Commander looked at him wryly. "Here we go out of the box again."

"Thomas said we had favorable preferences. What does that mean?"

"You have first choice of ships, and choice of location. Three ships per team."

Kerryn grinned. Yes, he could get into this. "When can I start?"

The Station Commander nodded. "Now. Begin planning. A shuttle will arrive for you to bring you to the station shortly."

"Sir, I can be ready in six hours." That would be cutting it close.

"Good. I will inform your team." He leaned forward. "I am looking forward to your performance in this." And he broke contact.

Kerryn flew out the corridor and down to the hardware salvage section. He knew what he wanted. He had recognized it but hadn't had time to buy it. And it would make all the difference in the world. Panting, he showed up outside the Salvage Office.

Derrigan was a mild mannered man. He collected junk, sorted junk, and sold junk. Most of what he got was free for the taking, so when he sold it, he always turned a profit. If he didn't understand it, he didn't care. He did well enough. And Kerryn was a long time friend, having scavenged for Totentanz. But today, Kerryn slid into his office, looking a bit wild.

"Kerryn, my friend! What's the rush?"

"I've got a hot project. I need to buy Lot 83, and I won't be back for a month."

"Lot 83, eh?" He pulled it up on his terminal. A metallic object, hourglass shaped, with some odd couplings. Probably Romulan. "Fifty credits."

"Deal."

"Aren't you going to argue?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No time."

Credits exchanged, and Kerryn was handed a large package. "No charge for the anti-grav this time."

"Thanks, buddy!" And the transaction was complete.

Derrigan was curious, though. "So, now that you have robbed me, what is it?"

Kerryn grinned. "If I'm not mistaken, it is a Romulan Cloaking Device."

"Holy shit."

"Yes, indeed! Mark it down, my friend. I'm holding your retirement."

Derrigan laughed. "Not this time, but the next one, absolutely. Let me know if it works."

"Will do." And Kerryn bolted on down back to his room to pack.

The Guild shuttle arrived on schedule, and let Kerryn land the Turian in its hangar before going to warp. Kerryn used the time to scour the device. Indeed, it was a Romulan Cloaking Device, and Kerryn had learned enough from Totentanz systems to know what to do with it. It would be the one thing that both Illiar and Ramon would never suspect.

He landed with the Guild shuttle, flew the Turian to its assigned side hangar, and approached the Guild Office. The Station Commander and Flight Commander were both there, and when he uploaded his implant information to the station computer, they were both grinning.

"Lieutenant, it is good to see you back." Kerryn still wasn't used to the Master Pilot title he had been granted.

"Thank you, sirs. It is a bit odd being back after so long."

They handed him an orientation package. "Your old bed is full; we have assigned you private quarters in the Pilot quadrant. We have also arranged it so that you may escort one person of choice into that quadrant." They handed him a communicator badge. "This communicates with anyone on your Team."

"It works like Starfleet ones?"

They stared at him, and then nodded. "Yes. Have you interacted with Starfleet much?"

"My allegiance is to the Guild, through and through. We can discuss Starfleet some other time, please." Kerryn was still anxious over that one. His sixteenth birthday was only a couple weeks away and he was hoping to hear from them. Still. Even though there had been no contact since he left Earth.

The Head Technician skidded into the office. "Shit like a nova, you ARE back!" He pumped Kerryn's hand up and down. "We've got to talk. Later. Meet me in the bar." And he ran off.

The other two men rolled their eyes. "Team One has been giving him grief."

With a straight face, Kerryn nodded. "That is to be expected." And then he laughed. "Oh god, this is going to be good."

The Station Commander realized that Kerryn had a plan. "Shoo. And give them hell."

The Flight Commander clicked his tongue. "Really, Marshall, we are supposed to be bipartisan." And they dismissed Kerryn.

Kerryn went to his room to get settled. Now THIS was a ROOM! Living room, work area, bedroom, private bath! King size bed, large enough for three people. Of course, he had no one to share it with, but it was nice. And most importantly, a view. He really missed seeing the outside of space. Here, he could hide and recuperate.

But he needed someplace to plan a war. Calling up a station plan, he found unoccupied retail space in the main access area. It was at the end of the main corridor, a little out of the way, but it had ten thousand square feet, some tables and a good solid door. Without even thinking twice, he booked it for a month. Five hundred credits, but it would be worth every one!

His communicator beeped. He tapped it, and before he could say anything, Thomas's voice came across the unit. "Team Two, strategy meeting in the cafeteria begins in five minutes." Kerryn quickly closed out his comm unit and hurried off to the cafeteria.

What he didn't realize was that he was still in Guild uniform. Heads turned and followed him as his heels clicked quietly along the floor. He apparently was nearly the last one there, as they were closing the door when he slipped in. Nodding at his emerald commbadge, which matched all those on Team Two, they let him in.

No one recognized him. That was for sure. Had it been so long? Maybe it was the uniform. He shrugged, as Thomas and Mike stood up. His two former roommates would make a formidable team.

Thomas spoke. "Team, I have good news! Lieutenant Kerryn has agreed to team with us!" A round of applause. "It is imperative that we place him in a position of leadership. He was, after all, Gold Four and the captain of the winning exercise team. He should be joining us relatively soon."

Thomas's jaw dropped as Kerryn stepped forward, grinning. "How about now?"

The roar of enthusiasm was embarrassing to say the least, but Kerryn realized that they were really desperate.

Thomas finally spoke. "All in favor of naming Kerryn Admiral for Team Two?" A round of approvals. "All opposed?"

In the silence, Kerryn spoke aloud. "Opposed."

The team was aghast. Against the outcry, he grinned and put his hands up. "Look, you all have done just fine without me. Who would you select without me?"

Mike spoke, grinning. "Thomas, actually."

Kerryn nodded. "Well, Thomas it should be." And when the muttering started, Kerryn raised his voice. "However, I would very much like to be one of your captains and your Chief Strategy and Reconnaissance Officer, Admiral." In the silence, he continued, "Let me do what I do best. Flight and Tech."

Thomas began clapping. "You got it!" And the rest of the discussion got underway.

Kerryn spoke a while to the team. He told them about the rented space, and that became the hub for all the team planning. To him, this was as much a mind game as an armed conflict. "Everyone, realize that to win a war, exactly one man must have awareness and control. It isn't the admiral. It is the tactician, the planner, the strategist. The Admiral focuses on execution." He had grinned. "In more ways than one." It was a quote from a Romulan tech manual, but it was funny enough that the team laughed along. To keep his role ambiguous, everyone would refer to him as the CSRO. Or captain.

The next day each team would choose its three ships. Team Two got first pick of the first two, then Team One got to pick two, and then the last one each. After studying the ships, Kerryn had carefully coached Thomas into choosing the biggest and most powerful, and then the sturdiest. The ships were named only by Greek letters, but Alpha was the behemoth. Delta was almost the smallest, but it had been built by Turian Shipworks and Kerryn knew that engineering better than anything other than Totentanz. Delta was also the hardiest, and no slouch on weapons. Of the remaining ones likely to be chosen by Team One, Kerryn planned on Upsilon as Team Two's third ship.

The actual selection meeting was priceless. Team Two arrived first, with the three Commanders joining them. Thomas, the Admiral, and his two captains Mike and Kerryn. Kerryn was waiting for the moment of the other team's arrival. He, of course, had worn his Guild uniform rather than the school uniform. He could fix that later.

The doors opened and Illiar, two unknowns and Ramon entered. They shook hands with the commanders, and when they turned to Team Two, Illiar and Ramon both stopped cold.

Kerryn smiled. "Greetings, Team One." He put his hand out, but it was not accepted.

"What are you doing here?"

"I am here supporting my Admiral for Team Two." His smile changed to one of lofty superiority. "I am still enrolled in the Flight School, you know."

They apparently didn't know. Neither shook his hand, but looked venomously at the commanders, who nodded. The Station Commander responded, "That is correct."

Ramon stood in shock. His boonie upbringing should have let him rebound from this, but apparently Pelossi had been primping him. Waste of a good boonie.

Thomas stepped forward, grinning. "Admiral Thomas Silver, Team Two. My captains, Mike Bonno and Guild Lieutenant, Master Pilot and Master Technician Kerryn." Thomas could play drama, and he let the quals sink in.

Illiar recovered, and introduced his two captains. Kerryn now remembered these two as prima donnas with little expertise. Ramon was his best resource. He grinned. Taking the Delta would be a double dig, because it was Turian and Ramon loved Turians.

Illiar then introduced Ramon. "And finally, this is Ramon who is my lead tech."

Ramon turned and glared at Illiar, who then lamely continued, "And a Master Technician."

They chose ships. When Thomas called out for Alpha, Illiar flinched. When he called out for Delta, Illiar snickered but Ramon flinched and elbowed Illiar, who then looked pained. They then called out their ships, Phi and Theta. Kerryn laughed inside. Theta was a disaster, but it was as large as Alpha. Just hopelessly underpowered.

Ramon pulled Illiar aside for some violent whispering. Kerryn could just pick out, ".. Shut up. You're here because I said so."

Thomas called out for Upsilon, and Illiar took Rho. Kerryn could barely suppress his glee. He had gotten the ones he wanted, and what was more, he saw lots of contention on Team One. Leave it to Illiar to rule with a fist. He then realized how they could guarantee their victory. They had to lose the first battle. The team wouldn't like it, but it would pay off.

That was just what happened. The rules said that the winner would be the best out of all battles on a two week period. One week to refurbish their ships, two weeks to fight. Kerryn did not sleep most of that first week, nor did most of the techs on Team Two, but when they were done Alpha was as ostentatious as it could be, Upsilon was a close second, and Delta was a rock-solid fighting machine with one special component: a Romulan Cloaking Device.

He had only told Thomas and Mike about it, but when he did they literally whooped with joy. Kerryn and the Delta crew used it for reconnaissance about Team One, and saved it for the final conflict. The endgame battle was the last one of the two week period, and counted five times as much as the other battles.

They lost the first one. Not badly, but enough to ensure that Team One got cocky and trusted Illiar. They fell for it hook, line and sinker. Periodically, and before each of the other battles the cloaked Delta would go out, watch Team One, report back, and then when ready Team Two would strike. Team One only got an offensive posture on the first battle, and one in the middle when Kerryn had gone on recon for them and found them gone. Team Two was ready, but only just. That had been their hardest victory until endgame.

It wasn't that mistakes weren't made, but Team Two's were correctable. Team One seemed to be acting on arrogance. Kerryn figured that there would be some interesting stories later, mostly from the techs.

The endgame battle was ferocious. Each side had to win. Illiar could win by one point if he won endgame. Upsilon and Phi exchanged fire and disabled each other. The mighty Alpha had directly engaged Theta, and Delta was working over Rho. But it was here that Illiar caught them unexpected, and had Rho break off and join the attack on Alpha. Together they tried to disable Alpha, but Rho could not function on that scale and was hopelessly lost and adrift afterwards. Since the flagships were nearly disabled, it looked like Team One would win.

Except for Delta. Theta could have wiped Delta out in minutes, whereas Delta barely could thump a fully functional Theta. Delta, however had disappeared. Kerryn had seen the move, and elected that now was the time. He engaged the cloak, and they moved Delta down and under Theta. When Rho was disabled and Theta exposed and on the brink, he decloaked immediately under Theta and let fire with absolutely everything he had. Delta could be disabled as long as it took Theta with it, before Alpha went down.

On the bridge of Theta, Admiral Illiar sat in his chair, watching the eventual destruction of Alpha. Victory was certain. The crews were very tense, though. And rightfully so, as the proximity alarm went off.

"Admiral, Delta just appeared under us!"

"WHAT THE FUCK??" He never got another word out before the entire ship clanged and thundered with Delta's full barrage of weapons. Suddenly all his lights went red, indicating that they were disabled.

"FUCKING SHIT!!!"

Aboard Alpha, Thomas sat, wary. They were losing, and Theta was out there in space, gloating. Suddenly, he saw a flicker under Theta, and a desperate hope filled him. "Everyone watch the screen NOW!!!"

They did, and they saw little Delta rake Theta from head to tail, and then Theta's status on tactical miraculously changed to the red of disablement. Thomas called out, "Ship's status!"

"SIR, WE ARE STILL FUNCTIONING!!!"

We won, thought Thomas. And what's more, Delta was still intact too. He opened a comm link. "Team Two, this is your Admiral. All of the enemy is disabled. As for us," he paused, "Upsilon is disabled, but both Alpha and Delta survived. We WON!" And he could hear the thunderous roar of victory.

Back on the flight school, a credit chit passed to the head tech from the Flight Commander. "How did he do all that? How did he sneak under Theta?"

The head tech grinned. "My guess, since Delta is Turian, and Kerryn would know that engineering better than anyone, is that he's got a cloaking device on Delta."

They stared at him. "Where would he get one of those?"

"How about Salvage?" And they grinned. Kerryn was a boonie, and absolutely familiar with the various Salvage offices.

"Son of a bitch."

The victory was tremendous. The commanders had planned a mixer on an unprecedented scale, and the other students had begged Kerryn for a debrief. They agreed to hold a debrief led by Thomas and Mike two hours before the mixer for anyone who wanted to attend. The audience eventually comprised of all the teachers, all of Team Two, and all the techs from Team One. Only a handful of Illiar's flight team attended, and they were so pissed off at the handling of Team One that they had no problem with Team Two's victory.

The only place large enough for such a debrief was in the main foyer, so while everyone was well behaved and silent, they went through the strategies, some of the dirty ploys that Kerryn had learned, and highlighted everywhere Team One made a significant mistake. Thomas and Mike went through all Team Two's mistakes as well.

Two persons attended of significance. The first was Ramon, who stood in the back, amazed. Kerryn had outdone himself. He knew Thomas, and some of the other Team Two staff, and they were not capable of the level of planning done here. Illiar had lured all the highest performers, but did that help his team? Illiar had been such an ass, and his whole group of friends too. For just a moment he remembered how things had been with Kerryn, and the feel of that hot mouth on his cock, and then the reminder that Pelossi gave him security and luxury pervaded.

The second person of significance was the Guild Director. He too had been amazed, but with the vicious satisfaction at seeing those arrogant boobies get their butts whipped. And he had one very pleasant duty yet to come.

When the debrief was over, the three commanders got up and spoke briefly in support and congratulations. And that was when the Guild Director moved out of the shadows, stood, and the commanders stopped speaking mid-sentence.

"ALL STAND FOR THE GUILD DIRECTOR!" That was the Station Commander. Humph. Hating formality, the grizzled old Guild Director approached the front of the crowd.

"Please be at ease." He turned to Thomas. "Congratulations on a very well executed war, from all aspects, Admiral. No question that your command staff has met qualifications." This brought a well-rounded cheer, and flushed smiles from Thomas and Mike.

He turned to Kerryn. "There is one more thing. Lieutenant, how old are you?"

"Fifteen, sir." Kerryn still felt the awe of this powerful person in front of him.

The Guild Director shook his head. "I believe you are mistaken. You turned sixteen years old yesterday."

Kerryn blushed, thought it through, and grinned. "You are correct, sir. It must have been the fog of war."

"Whatever." He grinned at Kerryn, and winked. "Anyway, it is my pleasure to inform you, Lieutenant Kerryn, Master Pilot and Master Technician, that since you are now only sixteen, that title is no longer sufficient for you." Kerryn looked surprised, and there was muttering started. "Congratulations on the completion of your program with high distinction, Ship Master Kerryn."

The din was deafening. Kerryn just gaped at him as the other students from both teams screamed their approval, and all three commanders clapped and cheered.

The Guild Director loved these moments. They were what defined the Guild. And with Kerryn still standing there with a tear slowly running down his face, the Guild Director shook his hand, handed him a small box, and took out what looked like a solid gold scanner. He pointed at Kerryn's arm, since they couldn't speak because of the noise, and with that gold scanner he updated Kerryn's implant.

"Thank you, SIR!!" Realization hit the only just sixteen- year-old, and joy and accomplishment swept through him. He had made it. The Guild worked in mysterious ways, it seems, because he didn't remember anything that could have been hidden as a test.

The crowd finally quieted, and the director spoke again. "That was a well-fought war out there. I am very pleased with all the combatants. But the duties of the Director of the Freighter Guild are many, and so I can not stay for your revelry. But you have my congratulations to all, both techs and fliers. Without both of you, there would be no Guild." And amid another round of applause, he departed. He loved visiting the school, but some emissary needed stroking now. Always the little things took him away from what he enjoyed.

Kerryn stashed the box in his uniform, and then followed the crowd to the mixer. He stayed for a little bit, but it was quickly reverting back to sex acquisition time. It made Kerryn sick to see Imzadi - no, it was Ramon, with Pelossi. So he chatted most with the teacher chaperones for a while, and then made his way to the exit.

Thomas and Mike ran over and came to see him. Mike was the one who started.

"Where y'going? This is your best chance!"

Pelossi's really irritating high-pitched laugh echoed at that moment. Ramon was with him, and both had dressed in expensive clothing that was stylistic of the wealthy. Mike looked over, and understood immediately.

"I see."

Kerryn sighed. "It still gets to me."

Mike finally had it. "Look, your sex life has totally sucked since you got here. You haven't brought anyone back, boy or girl, and yes I know about that. Right now you could have anyone you wanted. So pick one and go relieve some tension!"

Kerryn knew that things like this bugged Mike. Mike always came home with a girl from the mixer, and apparently was quite noisy about the whole thing. Kerryn had heard the other roommates discussing it. So on a whim, he looked at Thomas, whose eyes bugged out as he said, "Well, you're taken." So he turned to Mike, batted his eyes and took on a simpering posture. "Well, what about you, Mikey-boy?"

They all froze for a moment, and then Kerryn couldn't help it. He snorted and had to sit down from the laughter. Mike had been precious. He had looked horrified at first, and then resigned like doing Kerryn might be his duty. Then it had apparently crossed his mind that Kerryn would be fucking him, not the other way around, and he went back to horrified.

Thomas was filled with amusement, and Mike finally eased up and shrugged wryly. "Out of pity, you almost got me there."

Kerryn shook his head. "I don't want a pity fuck."

"I know." He grinned suddenly. "It was my only way out." But a curious thought crossed his mind. "But, really, would I have enjoyed it?"

Kerryn nodded. "I make sure whomever I am with will enjoy it." He looked over, now eager to get past Mike's embarrassment on this, and saw a blond girl ogling the three of them. Kerryn blew her a kiss and pointed at Mike as he turned around. "The blond over there is daydreaming about your butt."

"Really? Time to make dreams come true." And he departed in pursuit.

Thomas had to ask. "She wasn't really, was she?"

"No. But he was feeling awkward." Kerryn grinned. "Good bye, Admiral Silver."

Thomas nodded. "I had a feeling you might leave before we recovered. You were awesome, Kerryn."

"WE were awesome. One man does not make a war."

They shook hands, and Kerryn left. He returned to his room, collected his things, when he noticed that the Cloaking Device was missing. Damn. Where the fuck had that gone.

The answer arrived quickly. "Ship Master Kerryn, please report to the Station Commander's office." That was his receptionist.

"May I ask why?"

She replied, "A student has challenged the outcome of the war." And when she rolled her eyes, Kerryn realized that this was not threatening to him, at least.

"I'll be right there."

He waited only long enough to put the Ship Master lapel bar on his collar. It was getting quite crowded up there.

Somehow, he knew it would be Illiar. As he was on his way, one of the Team One techs stopped him in the hall.

"Kerryn, you've got to be aware of this. Illiar is complaining about the device. But Illiar sank some of his own money into our ships too. Five thousand credits. We had the best audio music system and vid players in the galaxy. It was part of the bribe to get people on his team."

"Thanks. He really was a jerk about this whole thing. I just never realized how bad." Kerryn shook his head. "I knew him from our space care centers. He never used to be this way."

The tech rolled his eyes. "People change. Mostly for the better."

Kerryn showed up at the office, and the receptionist held him back for a moment. "He's going eloquent in there. I can tell from everyone's attitude that this is the most unwelcome thing right now. Don't lose your cool."

He grinned nervously at her. "It's still kind of intimidating to a boonie like me." She laughed at that, and admitted him.

The three commanders were there, and their deputies as well. Six. Illiar was had apparently been talking for some time, but stopped when he entered. The cloaking device stood in its crate on a table.

The Station Commander stood. "Ah, Kerryn. Come in." He gestured to a seat, and Kerryn took it in appropriate posture. "Procedurally, we must listen to any objections that are brought before us on the outcome of the war. The Team One Admiral and several of his staff have elected to object on a topic. They did not attend your most excellent debrief."

Kerryn kept calm. But there were a million tricks coming to his mind right now. "I see. Please continue. I will cooperate fully."

They grinned. "We appreciate that, thank you."

Kerryn turned to his opponent, and nodded in greeting. "Illiar."

"Kerryn."

First trick. It might be his only dig. "You mean sir, of course."

"I beg your pardon?" Venom in his voice.

But Kerryn managed a lofty, condescending tone. Thank God for negotiation skills. "Sir is a customary sign of respect for a Ship Master at an investigative hearing."

Illiar stared at Kerryn, then at his collar, and turned absolutely purple. He choked out, "Of course, sir," and looked like he would detonate on the spot.

The Station Master coughed. "The objection is the use of the cloaking device, that the procurement of outside equipment of great value changed the outcome of the war in an inappropriate way."

Kerryn nodded. "I see. May I speak informally?"

"By all means."

"It is true, that when I accepted the position of Chief Strategist and Reconnaissance Officer in Team Two and before I arrived at the flight school, I did go to the Salvage Office at Delvin Six North where I was based. I did procure the device, without knowing what kind of ship or interface might be available. I had to gamble on it working, and my engineering skills to integrate it at no risk to my shipmates."

Illiar glared at the committee. "An admission of guilt."

Kerryn shook his head. "Not quite. Illiar, did you make any procurements for your fleet outside the flight school?"

Illiar turned purple. "Some."

Kerryn faced the committee. "One of his techs reported that he procured over five thousand credits worth of audio and video theater equipment, as incentive for team members to sign on with him in advance of the official recruiting schedule."

Illiar's jaw dropped, and Kerryn continued. "So it would seem that we both procured items prior to the selection of ships. Mine impacted myself only and had significant utility to the war. I can't assess the role or effectiveness of his."

Illiar recovered slightly. "Mine had no impact on the outcome of the war."

Kerryn countered. "Didn't it? Wouldn't your choice of staff impact the outcome?" He smiled again. "There are a great many factors, you know. Not all of them are ship related."

The Station Commander finally made a comment. "Per your debrief, Kerryn, you showed that you only cloaked while on reconnaissance and never in conflict until near the end of the final battle. That shows judicious use of a key asset."

The Flight Commander spoke. "I have verified station procurements, and the exact amount procured off station by Team One is five thousand and eighty two credits. I have zero credits for Team Two, but as you said, Kerryn, you procured it at Delvin Six North." He leaned forward. "How much did you spend?"

Kerryn looked directly at him, and said, "Fifty credits."

Illiar exploded. "No fucking way! It must have cost over a million, or you stole it!"

Eyebrows raised all around. "Flight Officer Illiar, are you accusing Ship Master Kerryn of Grand Larceny?"

That hit Illiar like a splash of ice water. Going absolutely white, he shook his head. "No, sirs. I meant it only as a figure of speech."

"Good." The Flight Commander was colder than ice water.

Kerryn spoke up. "You can verify it with the Delvin Six North Salvage Office. The man who runs it is named Derrigan. He is aware that when I bought it from him, I knew what it was and he did not. It was identified as Lot 83."

"Fifty credits." All six officials stared at him.

"Yes, sirs." Then he added, "A boonie like me doesn't have a lot of credits to throw around, you know."

That brought a round of laughter, and Illiar turned deep red again. Finally, the Station Commander asked Illiar directly. "Any further objections to add?"

"No, sirs."

"Before we rule, would you like to withdraw the objection? Once we rule, it becomes a permanent part of your record."

Illiar was smart, that was true. He knew when a way out was being offered. So he nodded, and said, "Sirs, with this new information I withdraw my objection."

"Meeting adjourned." Everyone stood, and they all left, leaving Illiar and Kerryn to themselves. Kerryn walked over, enabled the anti-grav packaging and began pushing the crate down to the main hangar. Illiar had ruined the whole feeling of victory for him just now, and again all he wanted to do was get away.

Illiar followed him to the hallway, where they split. Kerryn looked at Illiar, and spoke quietly but evenly.

"Enjoy the mixer. And best of luck. We probably won't meet again."

Illiar nodded, and almost stormed down the hallway. Kerryn got on the turbolift, handled the device and his departure, and soon was at warp towards Delvin Six North. He had two weeks before Totentanz would pick him up. He had flown three times around the school before leaving, and once around Delta who was placidly in orbit. Oh, to be a captain someday! He had loved Delta and his crew.

The Turian hurtled through space, and shortly landed in the main hangar. He stowed her, and went back to his suite. Really, all his possessions were there. Very little of his was on Totentanz. But not for long. He and his father could now treat each other as equals in the Guild. That would take a big strain off his dad, who was getting older quickly. Sometimes it showed, now more often as not.

He bought himself some new uniforms and clothes. Rather than guess, he actually went to a clothing specialist. The outcome was spectacular. Kerryn had known how to dress as a trader and freight mover, but not as a young man. When he had put on the first outfit and looked in the mirror, he realized that he hadn't looked in the mirror in a long time. His hair had grown really long, but it looked really good that way. He had gotten tall - not tall for a person, but tall for him. His legs were much longer and his arms too. He looked very attractive. And that gave him confidence.

On the fourth day he woke up, feeling edgy. Everything seemed to be missing from him in a way. He couldn't find the right clothes. He wasn't happy with breakfast, or lunch. Other than an edgy and incomplete feeling, he had no other symptoms. He had started to move in the larger circles of the Guild, as his Ship Master rank on the implant got him into virtually all the Guild facilities. He planned a week's vacation down on Delvin Six itself, which was famous for its lush beaches and tropical islands in the middle latitudes.

It got worse. He literally felt like he had mental hives when he left a lunch restaurant where he had eaten with one of his Tiny Tim technician friends. And so, preoccupied as he moved down the hallway, he was totally unprepared for what happened next.

Totally.

A handsome and important figure led an entourage through the hallway. Her flowing skirts of an iridescent material complemented her figure. She was older, true, but still supple with a certain girlish flair that she used to advantage. Most of the Federation trembled in fear and awe of her. And she, too, had many things on her mind as she moved through the corridor. Just on the pure off chance, her eyes flicked around as she went, and they landed on a very young man wearing a Guild uniform, whose brow was furrowed and he looked devilishly attractive. She smiled to herself. He would probably be inexperienced, but have a lot of stamina.

And that was when it happened. At the same moment in time, he lifted his eyes to hers, and statistically, one in about fifty such encounters results in a Betazoid biological experience known as the Frenzy. Lwaxana Troi, Federation Ambassador to Betazed, Daughter of the Fifth House, and Keeper of the Sacred Chalice of Riix, realized that a couple hours from now she was going to be very intimately engaged with this young hunk. And that made her flush all over. The Frenzy was no mystery to her.

Kerryn had seen the entourage, and as he went by he glanced at them. But when his eyes hit the handsome woman's eyes, the mental zing was so pronounced that he actually walked right into a bulkhead. His mind started humming to him that she would complete him, she would be his, and his body joined right in with the clamor. In less than ten seconds, Kerryn went from preoccupied young man to off-the-scale horny sex machine with . well now, NOW, with the most exquisite piece of humanoid female in the galaxy!

He tried to walk again, but hit the bulkhead. Again. Finally, the woman was somewhat gone, but one of her retainers remained, watching him. When Kerryn surrendered, and came over to him, the man spoke in a quiet contralto voice.

"You are part Betazoid?" Kerryn nodded. "My lady will accommodate you in several hours. Have you experienced the Frenzy before?"

Kerryn's jaw dropped. "Is that what it is?" He shook his head, and terror and dread filled him. "No, never."

"I will contact you soon when she is ready."

Kerryn finally blurted out, "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "My lady is never wrong."

Kerryn took a deep breath. "OK. I am Kerryn, staying in section thirteen." He had to double check. "There's no avoiding this, is there?"

The man shook his head. "No." And he left.

Kerryn went back to his suite. He tried to contact his dad on Totentanz, but it wasn't on subspace. He had no one to talk to about this, and it was going to happen in hours, not days. He showered to help relax, splurging for real water, but all he could think about was fucking and the close intimacy of that handsome woman who now dominated his thoughts. He would worship her, fawn for her and happily do anything she asked, which he realized he hoped was a lot.

What the fuck? A part of him realized that this was out of control. But he couldn't help it. His mind didn't belong to him anymore. He paced. What had his father said? Just go along for the ride. It was natural, it was biological, it had nothing to do with preferences or orientations. He began to breathe deeply, and when the comm system chimed he ran to it, in breathless expectation.

But it was just a text invitation to one of the best suites in the station. Stepping in front of the mirror one last time, he looked superb. And then he all but sprinted to where his sex goddess was waiting. For him, and only for him. She would complete him.

The door chimed, and it opened. And there she was. And there was no question that he would serve her every whim, her every desire, and as the door closed he realized that she was ready for him NOW. He pulled his clothes off without a second thought and dove forward into rapture.

Six hours later they lay on the expansive bed. Kerryn's mind was sizzling with memory, and a mental sting that was slowly abating. They had just separated, and he was slowly remembering who and where he was, and what they had done. His mental balance was regaining.

A creak, a rustle, and the handsome woman he was with stood in front of him, wearing a light robe. He saw her survey him, still totally naked and still half aroused, and having regained at least a little aplomb he lay back and stretched. There wasn't much to say, really. At least for him.

She spoke, her voice slightly hoarse from all the moaning. "Well now, little one, I haven't had that much fun in a long time."

Kerryn flushed. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

She laughed, and shook her head. "That was mild compared to some. But oh, did it feel good." He could do it, she realized, and she came and sat next to him. "One thing I have learned, and since this is your first time you should learn it too, is that after you have been through all this, try for one more time. One more time that you choose to do, not are compelled to do. It proves the kindness and openness that we Betazoids believe in."

He nodded. "That makes a lot of sense." His cock now rising again, he put on his most sexy expression and shifted slightly for what he hoped was the best effect. "Would you oblige me?"

She grinned and dropped her robe. "Oh yes, little one, but this time you are going take me." And they rolled on the bed together, Kerryn now easily finding the right position, and they began the buildup of excitement together. She had been in his mind the entire time, and this time Kerryn was emboldened by his success. So as they got closer to orgasm, him feeling the rich sensations of pleasure he slipped into her mind, elusive, and zeroed in on the pleasure point.

The reaction he got was totally unexpected. Her entire body went rigid in orgasm, and her mind tried to escape. But he had caught her off guard, and as he made the last final strokes before his own orgasm he held her captive as best as he could. He felt a warm glow together, and with a cry he crossed the line of no return and emptied himself deeply into her. But he knew that for that moment, that exquisite complete instant of tension and sensation, he truly held her captive and she could not escape. She was his, and his tension broke, and with it his hold on her and his mind crawled out of hers.

Lwaxana Troi was dumbfounded. No one had EVER controlled her like that. EVER. True, it was short, and she was exhausted, but the mind! Well! She deserved it, and she had enjoyed it.

The intimacy then drained away faster, and Kerryn got up to freshen himself. When he returned, she was in her robe, smiling, and he had managed to get half dressed. As he finished, she spoke to him in his mind.

You haven't spoken to me this way.

He shook his head. "I haven't done it since I was five. Maybe someday."

She nodded, and continued in his mind. You have a great mind there. Let me show you some tricks.

He nodded slowly, and the next ten minutes gave him an arsenal of mental tools from this handsome woman. He thanked her, and was ready to leave, but she stopped him.

"Leaving is always the hardest, and most awkward. Thank you, little one. You were exquisite."

Kerryn responded, a little wryly. "I understand so much more now. I was a virgin until this, you know."

She nodded, and her eyes twinkled. "You were a virgin the first time. The dozen or more times afterward, you were definitely not."

He laughed, and stood at the door. "I don't even know your name."

She smiled, and winked. "I probably am the Betazoid government. Daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed. Keeper of the Sacred Chalice of Riix. Do you need more than that?"

"A name would be nice."

"Then, Kerryn," she said his name for the first time, "You may call me Lwaxana."

He nodded, and the door closed. Kerryn slowly made his way back to his own suite, where he now desperately needed a shower from all the sweat and other secretions, and then about a week's worth of sleep.

Two days later found him on the beaches of the planet side of Delvin Six. The experience with Lwaxana and the Frenzy had given him a new confidence, and many of the people he knew just assumed that he had finally gotten laid. Certainly his swimwear would attest to that. After Lwaxana, he had been overcome by a daring and nonchalant feeling, which when combined with a really hot body like his, the beautiful beaches of his home planet, and finally the very small patch of bathing suit that he was wearing, together gave him all the confidence he needed, and more. He was sixteen, he was beautiful, as a Betazoid he was sterile until he chose, and he was a great fuck.

Kerryn had promised himself that he would take any reasonable offer for sex, male or female. He would be back on Totentanz in a few more days, and he needed to be satisfied. He stayed away from the normal pollutants and substances, but his first night was with a young blonde girl named Olivi who was on them. He could tell that she was feeling lots, but too stoned to be active in her response.

The second one was a guy, Manuel. Manuel was a little older, but gentle enough when Kerryn bottomed for him. Manuel could tell that Kerryn had little experience, but he made up for that with his mouth. Manuel had shown Kerryn the value of taking one's time in the experience, and Kerryn had stretched a good long suck on Manuel's cock and balls to almost an hour. By the time they were done, Kerryn's jaw ached a little bit and had cum four times.

The third time was Kerryn's most extreme adventure. After a day of taking in the sunshine and just letting the sensations of the planet wash over him, he had gone to the bar and ordered his usual bourbon. It was late, the double suns were setting and he had just pulled a light shirt on when two young men approached him. Kerryn recognized them from their position higher up on the beach.

They took chairs next to him, and laid back and closed their eyes. Kerryn took the opportunity to study them briefly. Nice bodies, both. Both had a nice sprinkling of chest hair, more than Kerryn would ever have. He realized then that it had been shaped that way, because it was too perfect for reality. They were probably showing off. Well, he could too. So Kerryn rolled over, letting the setting suns kiss his barely covered butt. Yes, the thong bathing suit looked very, very good on him. He grinned with the exposure. This is my vacation, he thought, and so why not?

He heard a double-gasp next to him, and that sent him even further in confidence. Very gently he scanned the nearest one. What he found there was intoxicating. The nearest one wanted to be fucked, badly, and his thoughts were filled with the image of Kerryn's tight little swimsuit. When he scanned the other one, he was focusing on his friend and Kerryn together.

The two of them were communicating somehow. He could feel the exchange, but there were no words spoken. So Kerryn squinted one eyelid open and saw a series of hand signals go back and forth. They wanted him, but were unsure how to start. Kerryn grinned inside, and realized that two at once would be interesting.

So he wiggled his butt just a little bit. Each time he did, he could audibly hear the gasp. His own cock started to get hard, and Kerryn knew that there was only just enough bathing suit to cover that. Hmm! So he rolled over again, face up now and showing off his incredible body as he very carefully adjusted his suit around his cock. He sighed, perhaps a little dramatically. And waited to see what would happen. And his cock grew a little more.

"Everything OK over there?" That was the nearest one. Ice broken!

"Yeah, I've just got this one little thing that's bothering me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. There are two really hot guys next to me, and I can't keep my mind off them." Kerryn opened his eyes at the first one and winked. Oh, he loved to be a slut!

The second one laughed, and the first smiled as well. "Well now, we should probably see what we can do about that. I'm David, and this is my very dear friend Richard."

"I'm Kerryn." They chatted a bit, innocent for now. The two were sons of merchant familes, and after a profitable year they were taking a vacation. Kerryn skimmed over the basics of his background. David was definitely the near one, and the bottom. Richard was the top.

Kerryn's stomach growled loudly at a quiet moment, and that set them all laughing. So Kerryn decided that he needed sustenance before anything else, and offered such. "Look's like I've got to eat. Care to join me? I'll buy, since it is my invitation."

They agreed, and the meal went very well. Each had put on a little more clothing, and that had only helped define who they were. Kerryn looked like the total beach hottie, with his loose white shirt and light and loose pants. The others wore slightly more clingy clothes. But the meal was good, and warmth grew. The suns finished setting, and the decision point was here.

It was David who brought it up. "Thanks, Kerryn, for a great meal. We've only a short time, but I wish we could get to know you much, much better." It was in the much that the offer was made.

Kerryn nodded. "Same here. Any ideas on what to do next?"

The two looked at each other, and then looked at Kerryn. Richard said, "We have no other plans tonight. How about you?"

Shy. Not quite ready to jump. Kerryn laughed, and it relaxed the whole situation. He wanted to fuck, and fuck soon. "Well, there's a dance club nearby, but I suck at dance." That drew some laughter. "I've heard that the boat ride they give at night is really cool with the moons and the ocean phosphorescence." He paused, and then looked at them straight on. "Or, we could all go back to my suite and get to know each other much, much better."

Richard grinned, and David's face lit up. "Really?"

Kerryn walked up to David, his eyes on fire, and placed his hands on David's shoulders. "All honesty, all sincerety, all openness, and all the way." David closed his eyes, and Kerryn brushed his lips gently on David's.

"Oh god, that was hot." Richard's eyes were wide with amusement. "Let's go!" And they sauntered down the boardwalk to Kerryn's suite with the ocean view. It was cool, comfortable and the king-size bed would definitely accommodate them all.

And did it! On the way there, Kerryn had just let them know that he was pretty versatile, but liked to take things slowly. David pointed that, true to the scan, he loved to bottom. Richard was also versatile, but he hadn't bottomed in a while since David didn't like top. But once in the room, the clothing came off and the three stood close together. David was so turned on that Richard stood to one side.

"Kerryn, I'll watch this one, to start at least. David needs it bad." At which point he took a chair on one side, and sat back, stroking his cock.

Kerryn held David, placing his mouth on his for the deep kiss that Kerryn had been craving. David all but melted into him, and it wasn't long before David was laying on the bed, with Kerryn's mouth firmly and demandingly working its magic on his cock. David had a nice one, and Kerryn was able to give it the attention he needed. The moans from all three of them gently echoed in the room.

David's first orgasm hit when Kerryn went all the way down on his cock, burying his face in the other young man's skin, the head well into his throat. At the same time, Kerryn felt a very nice warm and wet sensation on his own cock, and knew that Richard had joined the fray.

It was absolutely wild. The lube was passed around without a word, and the oral play moved forward to become gently probing fingers. Kerryn had not had this opportunity before, and with David cooing in excitement he slowly inserted one finger. He knew where the prostate was supposed to be, and David's reaction was all that he hoped for when he found it. Kerryn marveled at how smooth and yet softly hairy David was. His thighs were toned and sleek, with his balls snug in below the circumcised cock. Kerryn kept up his tongue action on him with his finger now working to stretch David just a little bit.

Kerryn felt a coolness on his own butt, and breathed deep as a finger slid into him, expertly and gently, and then without warning slid and caressed his own magic spot. Sensation flooded him, and he moaned loudly over David's cock. Richard chuckled softly, and began the expert ministrations.

David spoke slowly. "Enjoy Richard. He knows exactly what to do." A gasp, and then, "You're no slouch either. That feels so incredible."

Two fingers entered Kerryn, and he knew that Richard's cock would be next. Breaking off David, he swiveled around and climbed over Richard to attack his cock with his mouth. Kerryn knew he was very good with his mouth, and he made sure Richard knew it.

Richard continued his ministrations, and suddenly David had snuck between them and was working on Kerryn's cock with his mouth. A three-way groan took place, and after a few minutes they broke apart.

Kerryn looked at David, lust high in his eyes and David flushed in anticipation. "I'm ready." Kerryn placed him on his knees, and began again to lube his cock. Richard started on his own, and Kerryn knew what was going to happen. The thrill of that just about got him there. But he slowly penetrated David, and the feelings through him were incredible. David was gasping and moaning plenty, too. And when he felt hands on his own waist, and the burn of penetration into him, Kerryn entered that state of sustained sexual bliss that he had never achieved before.

It was incredible. He looked forward and down on David, who had grabbed the bed headboard and was moaning uncontrollably. His long back was in front of Kerryn, glistening slightly with excitement as the pure smooth skin continued down to his waist. Kerryn's hands gripped that waist firmly, right at the top of his hips as he drew himself in and out of him. The halves of David's butt gently brushed against him on each stroke, and the tight clenching of his entrance sent waves of sensation through his cock. He could do this forever, except for one thing: Richard.

Richard had his hands firmly wrapped around Kerryn's chest and his mouth nibbling and licking his neck. He was also deep inside Kerryn, and moaning, his hot breath cascading down Kerryn's back as the tickle of hairs from Richard's chest brought nerves to sensitivity. But what dominated it all was the long, hard cock that also was drawing in and out of him, and it was going faster. And faster. Richard was now chanting "oh, fuck" over and over again, and Kerryn began to speed up and go harder into David. There was an ideal rhythm, where Richard and David were almost still and Kerryn was the only one moving, and when they reached it all three groaned loudly with excitement as Kerryn sped up, deeper and faster, until finally Richard exclaimed and slammed into Kerryn, who slammed into David, who cried out as all three stood at the precipice of orgasm before falling off the cliff of pleasure and into the rhythmic pumping sensations that poured cum out of their venerable cocks. The unwinding period was short, and Richard popped out of Kerryn first. Kerryn then pulled out of David and crawled over on the bed a little bit.

"That was the best." Richard spoke. "Kerryn, you are one hot fuck."

"Hell, yes." That was David.

Kerryn grinned. "That was awesome."

Richard's eyebrows went up. "You're still hard, Kerryn."

"What can I say?"

Then it was David who spoke. "You can say you'll fuck Richard as hard as you can. He likes that the second time."

"DAVID!"

"Well, it's true. You said so yourself that some of your best fucks were when you bottomed after topping."

Richard looked at Kerryn longingly, and Kerryn took over. "On your back, dude." Richard quickly rolled onto his back, and presented himself.

"Just do it." Kerryn nodded at that, and now completely hard and with a little more lube he pressed onward into Richard, and with Richard groaning and gasping Kerryn drove himself fully in with one long stroke. Richard was tight, even tighter than David. With a grin he realized that Richard must not get fucked very often. Double the pleasure, then.

"Oh god yes!" That was Richard. His hands automatically went to his own cock as Kerryn slowly but firmly drove himself in and out. "You're about the best I've ever had! Oh, mmmmm!"

Did he dare? Kerryn stopped for a moment, and stared right at Richard. "I can make this the best fuck you will ever, ever have." He wiggled a little, and Richard gasped as he touched his prostate. "I guarantee it and it won't hurt." He surged back in, and then whispered, "But you have to let me."

He saw a flicker of concern cross his face, and then the wanton pleasure returned. "OK. Do your best." And he held his breath.

Kerryn rolled him on his side, so that one leg was at an angle and the lower leg was straight. He slid along that lower leg, his own balls rubbing along Richard's sensitive inner thigh skin, and when he slid all the way in, he went an inch deeper than before. Richard whimpered in pleasure, and thought that this would be it.

But Kerryn knew what he wanted. Thoroughly impaling Richard, he shot into Richard's mind, ignoring the things around him and found the place where he could unlock the feelings. His mental touch sizzled through Richard, who cried out and started chanting "oh yes" over and over. Kerryn drove his cock into him firmly and then with both a vicious and delicious intensity as he stroked the mind in his grasp. He felt Richard try to escape, and knew that it was time. With one last push, he forced Richard over the edge and Richard's entire body again tensed to incredible passion, and then with a scream he came violently, thrashing about as Kerryn pummeled his butt through his own orgasm.

David looked frightened, but Richard quickly settled that. "Dave, its OK, god is it OK, oh fuck nothing has ever been like that." He was breathing very hard, and Kerryn pulled back and moved away. David immediately went over and began stroking Richard, but turned to Kerryn.

"What did you to him?"

Kerryn grinned. "I'm half Betazoid. One of the talents we have is the ability to heighten our partner's sexual response. I don't usually do it this casually."

Richard had regained some normalcy. "I could feel you in my mind. It was incredible." He got a little serious. "I've been scanned by Betazoids before, and they usually pick up a lot. What did you pick up from me?"

Kerryn shook his head. "Nothing. I ignored everything around me and just went for that one receptive area. I've had some training in precision." He smiled reassuringly. "I know nothing more about you than I did before." Which was true.

Richard grinned. "Well, it was different. And yes, that was probably the best fuck I will ever, ever have until I meet another Betazoid with a bigger dick." And they laughed at that one.

Dave shook his head. "I'll pass, thanks. It looked just a bit too intense for me." He nudged Richard. "You've never screamed before."

"I've never been porked in the mind before, either."

Relaxed, casually, they dressed and acknowledged their good- byes. It was back to their normal lives for all three on the next day. But when they had left, Kerryn went out into the night and walked the beaches alone. He was sated, he was rested, he was satisfied. David had been good, Richard had been terrific, but being between them both had been superlative. He filed that memory for future reference.

The next morning, he dressed again in his Guild uniform. It felt a little funny after being nearly naked for so many days, but that was to be expected. He looked in the mirror, and saw a gorgeous sixteen year old young man with a number of rank pins on his collar. Yes, he was a Ship Master, Master Pilot, Master Technician. It would be his crowning achievement to have a Starfleet acceptance waiting for him. It had been so long, and he still had heard nothing.

When he checked out of the resort, he headed for the main hangar. On the way he stopped for coffee, and there he saw David and Richard. They were in smart business suits, and looked very much the part. Grinning, he went over to greet them.

"Good morning, I hope your night was pleasant."

They turned, and their jaws dropped, although David recovered and laughed in glee. "David Anderson, Sales Representative, and my associate, Richard Worring. And you might be?"

"Ship Master Kerryn, Freighter's Guild. You look great in clothes." And then he winked, knowing their reaction.

"So do you." David looked at Richard, and kicked him gently. "Close your mouth." Turning back to Kerryn, he shrugged. "Richard works for me. Go figure."

They chatted for a minute amiably, and then Kerryn had to be off. "Best of luck, you two. I enjoyed your company immensely."

"So did we." That was Richard. David rolled his eyes, and said to Kerryn, "Can you hit him one more time with your mind?"

Kerryn looked at Richard, and like lightning zinged in and brushed the spot. Just once. But Richard had taken a shuddering gasp, and breathed out, "Oh jeez! That was close." In a voice dripping sarcasm, he turned to his boss lover. Thanks, Dave."

Dave shook his head. "It's that effective?"

Kerryn and Richard nodded. And then he departed for the main hangar. Richard watched his ass for as long as he could see it. And then David dragged him off to their transport.

Back in the Turian, the beaches miles and memories away, he flew back to the comfort and familiarity of space. Totentanz was two days out, which gave him enough time to pack and say goodbye to his friends. Yes, he had friends on Delvin Six North. Other pilots, techs, and their friends had all warmed up to the young Ship Master. Kerryn had kind of settled into the title, meaning that he was still Kerryn, but Ship Master was more of a qualification. It did not change his humor, his living style, or his drinking habits. Sex had completely changed him, though. He shone with confidence, and together with the rank he had earned made him visible.

Landing the Turian, and making his way back to the suite was his chance to re-orient himself. He passed a dozen others who welcomed him back and congratulated him on his tan, usually with a wink. At least half of them knew he was gay, and now they would conclude that he was experienced as well. So be it. But upon entering his suite and bringing up his comm system, the Guild thrust itself back on him.

He had had it on ten seconds when a priority flash message had shown up from the Guild Director. Shit, thought Kerryn, what could that be about?

At that very moment, the Guild Director and three of his captains were in the Guild Office. They had a Disciplinary Hearing to conduct, and in the Guild Regulations five command-level officers were required to sit as a hearing panel. The director and his three captains made four, so they were one short. The list of available candidates included every captain, base commander, and master in the Guild, but they could only muster the four needed. The panel had to be drawn from a list of Adjudicators, each who were appointed for a one year term to serve on demand. The Guild Director was ready to appoint the next one to walk on the station in order to convene this hearing. Money would be lost if it didn't happen soon. Big money.

They had just been reviewing the list one more time when a chime came from their computer. Hoping beyond hope, one of the candidates had just returned to the station. The Guild Director looked at the name, first in surprise, then in recognition that it belonged there, and then in great humor. He had complete confidence in this individual. He laughed his brisk laugh.

Captain Vexer looked up, irritated. "Now what?" He was the one who was involved in the investigation, as one of his crew was the accused.

The Guild Director smiled. "We have a fifth."

"Adjudicator?"

"No, but I'll appoint him on the spot to get on with this."

Captain Qualo's eyebrows raised. "Really?" She looked at the other captain, Allianderoso, and clapped her hands once. "Let's look at him."

The Director spoke. "Ship Master Kerryn, returning from vacation planetside. He's on Totentanz."

"I thought Doryn ran Totentanz."

"He does." The Guild Director looked at him with a grin. "This is his son."

Vexer threw his hands up. "Doryn can't be that old."

He was loving this, the Director realized. It felt good to toy with his captains again. "He isn't. Ship Master Kerryn is sixteen years old."

You could hear a pin drop. All three started talking, and the words "mockery" were most prevalent. The Director rode it through, patiently, until they were done. In his most stentorian voice, he admonished them. "It isn't your decision who is and who is not on the list, you know. I myself conferred the Ship Mastery on him, high distinction by the way, and was very very impressed. That title qualifies him to be on the list, and MY decision will make him an Adjudicator. Period."

The captains were aghast. The Director NEVER took this pose with them. Mutely, they nodded, and the Director continued. "Now, the nearest current Adjudicator on the list is a week away. The nearest candidate other than Kerryn is eleven days away. Doryn isn't qualified on the technical level. I am open to any other alternatives."

Silence.

The Director smiled. "Done. I will speak with Kerryn shortly. What's it going to be, Vexer? How much are you losing an hour? Will you contest this?" He snickered. "It is your right."

Vexer looked horrified. "No contest. I'll trust your judgment."

"Good answer." And he dismissed them, and had his receptionist get Kerryn up to the office as soon as possible.

Back in his suite, Kerryn received the message and called the receptionist, who in turn politely told him to get his ass up to the Director's Office for official business that could not wait. Still in his Guild uniform, he hurried out and up to the office, and was shown immediately in to see the Director.

Yes, the Director thought, he has been laid. It shows. And he needed it. He greeted Kerryn, and asked him to sit, and got right to the point.

"Ship Master, you are familiar with the role of Adjudicator in our Guild?"

Kerryn nodded, perplexed. "Yes, sir. A one year term of availability to sit on hearing panels and other procedural processes."

"Well, we must conduct a hearing immediately. I myself am one, plus three other captains. That means four. Anyone with two master qualifications is eligible. Congratulations, you are number five."

"I what?" Kerryn's mind spun. "Am I to understand that you just appointed me an Adjudicator for the Guild?"

The Director grabbed Kerryn's arm and with his scanner, updated the implant, grinning. "That's right. Be back here in three hours. The others are Captain Vexer, Captain Qualo and Captain Allianderosa. There is additional compensation for being an Adjudicator, and your credit balance will be updated weekly with the difference." He smiled. "You were not my first choice, but you are qualified and I think you will make an excellent Adjudicator." He stood. "Now, shoo. I've got work to do."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"Ha. Thank me later." And Kerryn found himself outside the office.

Adjudicator? YIKES! He would need a dress uniform. He ran to the Guild Supplier and bought a dress uniform in his size. He would just have to hem it himself, and back in his suite he did that. The rest of the time he paced in a mild panic, until it was time and he went back to the Guild Office.

They showed him into another room, with a table with five chairs in front and a small auditorium-style seating area behind. It was about half full. The Security Officer regarded Kerryn speculatively, but when shown his implant he grinned and let him in. The other captains were there, and they regarded Kerryn with distain. He took the end seat designated with his name. Kerryn, Ship Master. That gave him chills.

Captain Vexer was on the opposite end. He was a short, round man with no hair whatsoever. He looked uncomfortable in his formal uniform. He resembled a walrus having an attack of nerves.

Captain Allianderoso was a tall, old man with much grey hair but a twinkle in his eye. When his eye caught Kerryn's, he bowed floridly. Kerryn smiled and inclined his head like he had seen other captains do, but added a wink. He needed a friend here, and Allianderoso might be one.

Captain Qualo was a quiet, reserved woman who looked like she could have been the entire government. She regarded Kerryn only thoughtfully, almost reprovingly. She must have caught herself, because of all of them she alone came over to talk to him.

"Congratulations, Adjudicator."

Kerryn felt like saying something about the negativity. "Thank you. I hope to meet expectations today."

She sighed. "Don't mind me. I am old enough to be your mother, and I don't like long hair on men. Other than that, you should do fine. This is a fairly clear case, as you will see."

"Thanks." He impishly batted his eyes at her. Something about this captain brought out the kid in him.

She rolled her eyes. "I thought as much." And she smiled. "You'll do just fine."

The Director came in, sat down, and convened the hearing. The accused, a Master Technician had allowed a cargo mounting system to degrade and break off, causing the cargo to work lose and break free into space. It ruptured, and several million credits of goods were scattered at warp speed. The bracketing had been recovered and analyzed, and the report was given to the panel. The accused stood, stony faced, as the case mounted against him.

Something nagged at Kerryn. "May I see the report, please?"

Vexer looked daggers at him, but passed him the report. Kerryn skimmed through it, as Vexer made a comment that they didn't have all day. The Director, who was watching Kerryn with interest, though, quelled that.

He found what he was looking for. The fatigue cracking had many many minute fissures. It just happened to be the largest one that unzipped. The Master Technician, true should have caught this, but so also should have routine maintenance inspections. Damn. Fliers versus techs again. He closed the report with a sharp snap.

The Director saw that he was pissed. Here go the fireworks, he thought. Wonder what he found? "Adjucator Five, you have a concern."

"Yes, Director." Kerryn spoke clearly and slowly. "The report shows a large number of crazing and fissures around this bracket joint. It appears that the bracket broke loose because the largest of these fissures unzipped under load." He put down the report. "That many fissures do not develop over a period of weeks, and would be caught under routine maintenance inspections for safety. Per Guild regulations those inspections are compulsory according to a schedule. I would like to know the date and inspection record for the bracketing before continuing."

The panel was stunned. Vexer turned absolutely purple. Allianderosa looked surprised, but he nodded. Qualo's eyes were wide, but she too nodded. "An interesting observation, Adjudicator Five."

The Director spoke. "Records officer, please report the information requested."

There was a pause, and some muttering, and then the Records Officer read back the computer report. "Report shows active crazing around the bracketing. Rework recommended in the near future. The latest report is dated two years and four months ago."

Muttering around the room, and before Vexer could react, the Director stood. "Quiet, please in the audience. Guild Regulations require annual safety inspections. It would seem that you, Captain Vexer, were negligent in obtaining the proper inspections. Two and a half years ago there is a rework notice, and you failed to follow up on it."

"I . I . I wasn't fully aware at the time -"

The Director cut him off. "The facts state themselves, captain." He looked at Kerryn. "Good catch. Justice will be served here after all." He banged a gavel. "The panel is in recess, but I want to meet with all the adjudicators informally afterwards in my office. Except you, Captain Vexer." And he quickly departed.

Kerryn saw the Master Technician look at him and gulp. He knew he would get some of the blame, but at least not all of it. This could have ended his career. With that moment, Kerryn took a formal dislike to being an adjudicator. The weight of the decisions were too large for him. What if he hadn't spoken up?

He made his way to the office, and passed Vexer on the way. He looked anxious, but regarded Kerryn with a modicum of respect. Kerryn remained neutral, and entered the office with the others. The door closed, and the Director regarded him thoughtfully.

"Well, Kerryn, you are off to an interesting start. Did anyone else catch that?" Shakes of the heads. "Well, well, well. Vexer blew off his advice, and blew off the inspection. There was no record of objection by the Master Technician. Shall we split the fault?"

Allianderosa nodded. Qualo nodded. Kerryn nodded. The Director nodded, and he commented, "Four yes, one abstain. Now, to the split. Any ideas?"

"Fifty fifty." That was Allianderosa.

Qualo didn't look happy, but said, "That's one way."

"Kerryn?"

Kerryn shrugged. "Maybe I am being a purist, but Captain Vexer knew about that report. I'd say there are three issues. First, the tech didn't catch it. Second, Captain Vexer didn't follow procedure on the routine safety inspections. Third, Captain Vexer knew about the report and chose not to act on it. That makes two thirds the fault on Captain Vexer, and one third on the tech. Any one of those faults corrected and this problem wouldn't have happened."

The Director stared at him. It made perfect sense. "Perhaps adjudicators are not being formal enough in their judgment. Kerryn, that was perfect. Any opposed?"

The other captains shook their heads, and regarded Kerryn with respect. The Director nodded, and smiled at Kerryn. "Didn't I say you were formidable, and one to be reckoned with?" He turned to the others. "Thank you all. As a reminder, you may not discuss these deliberations with anyone other than we in this room. That means no discussing this with Vexer. My job is to take it from here." And he showed them out.

The other adjudicators were quickly accosted by the crowd, but Kerryn managed to slip through and down to his suite again. So that was how the Guild worked. All he did was try to find the truth. And then he realized that he could have scanned the accused and the guilty captain. Leave that for next time.

Back in the suite, he finished packing. He checked his credit balance to make sure he could cover the suite, and was amazed to find that the Guild had deposited fifty thousand credits in his account, as well as a five hundred credit per week retainer. Maybe being an adjudicator wasn't so bad.

When Totentanz arrived, he and his dad had a joyous reunion. Doryn was amazed at how much Kerryn had changed in the couple of weeks. He was bursting with pride at the Adjudicator appointment, and at the same time Kerryn was absolutely itching to get his hands back on his beloved Totentanz.

Over a very nice dinner at the station, Doryn was watching his incredible son. "You know, Kerryn, Totentanz is going to be a little dull after all this. It's just me, cargo, and the ship. You've been moving in social circles for a while."

Kerryn nodded. "I know. I think I am looking forward to it, though. I love space."

Doryn broached the subject. "It isn't good for a sex life."

Kerryn laughed. "Dad, I've had enough sex for a year." And then he caught himself, blushed for a bit, but then shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"How so?"

"Well, you know when I got back here before going dirtside?" His dad nodded. "I had just gotten my title, and was circulating a bit when I got hit with the Frenzy."

Doryn nearly fell off his chair. "Already?"

Kerryn nodded. "I was terrified. But she was a handsome woman, an ambassador or government official of some rank, and she knew just what to do." He described in general terms, and Doryn nodded, having heard about it from Analee.

"Sounds like you got a lot out of it."

Kerryn laughed. "Well, I certainly got a lot of practice real fast." And then the shadow crossed his face. "Dad, she was so incredibly strong in the mind. But the last time, I figured what the hell, so I jumped into her mind and put such a lock on her that she couldn't break free. Couldn't, not at all. And when it was over she showed me so much about the mental thing." He sighed. "I owe her plenty."

Doryn had tears in his eyes. "I had always wondered how I was going to get you educated with your mental skills. I'm so lucky that she took care of that for you."

Kerryn just kept going. "After that, well I went down for my vacation. I promised myself that anyone who wanted sex from me would get it. After all that, I've had enough for a little while."

"Until tomorrow?" That brought a laugh.

They went over the year's schedule together. Doryn had added a social stop every three months, since Kerryn was now an appointed Adjudicator and they both wanted more social time. Then, departing Delvin Six North, they headed out deep into the Aurigaen Belt for the four month run of cargo.

Kerryn rejoiced in it. The wild space, tuning and maintaining the engines, and the fact that he outranked his father all coalesced together so that they worked shifts in cooperation. Doryn was aging, and his alertness wasn't what it always had been.

For Kerryn, the stops in the Belt were no longer cargo loads and unloads. They were visits to the bar, renewal of old acquaintances, and in one case out on Dulzian IV a contest. Apparently Doryn was feeling his age, and issued a unique challenge to Kerryn.

"Son, you're a man now."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

Doryn laughed. "Well, Dulzian IV is a special place. I'd like to challenge you to a special bet."

"Terms?"

"Principal ownership of Totentanz."

Kerryn's jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding."

Doryn shook his head. "No. Look at it for real. I love this ship. But I'm tired. You outrank me, you now fly her better than I do, and you can maintain her much better than I can. I have retirement credit stored, and while I think it is still some years yet, rather than a big hullabaloo over ownership transfer I'd rather you won her in a bet."

"Why?"

Doryn grinned. "Surely it is elementary."

"So we don't have to pay sales tax?"

They laughed hard on that one. "No, to ensure your credibility in the future."

Kerryn could see that. "OK. Hypothetically, what is the bet?"

"First one to get laid here at Dulzian IV gets ownership."

Kerryn's jaw dropped again. "You want to go out, pick someone up, and get laid? As in like a race?"

"Yup."

Kerryn took on a crafty look. "Does buying sex count?"

"No prostitutes."

"You have someone in mind for yourself? I'm coming in cold, remember."

Doryn felt the negotiation start. "I have the benefit of reputation, yes, and my experience. But stamina and attractiveness are well in your favor, I think."

"Oral sex count? Anal sex? Or does it have to be straight fucking?"

Doryn laughed again. His son was apparently very experienced. "No oral, yes anal. Fuck is actually a good word. First one to fuck wins the ship."

Kerryn took a serious moment. "You aren't going to throw the bet, are you?"

Doryn smiled. "I was, but I like a healthy competition. So no, I'm not going to just throw the bet."

Kerryn laughed. "You are on, dad!" And they shook hands.

Kerryn found himself holding a violently shaking Jacen. But before he could wonder what happened, Jacen had cracked up and doubled over in laughter. Tears streamed from his eyes, and finally he got some control and grinned at Kerryn.

"You got Totentanz in a bet as to who got laid first?"

Kerryn nodded. "Yes sir!"

"That must have been one hell of a lay."

Kerryn grinned. "Actually, it wasn't quite as expected, although I did make a pass at my dad just in case."

Jacen's eyes bugged out. "Did he agree?"

"No. But it caught me off guard, just the same."

Jacen lay back down. "Continue!" And Kerryn eased his mind back into that time.

Now, Kerryn had never gone out on a mission for sex. He was sure his father had, so that was to his advantage. But his vacation experience had been priceless in that way. He knew what to do. He was not sure how to capture the initial interests of his victim? Subject? Target was more likely. He studied the Dulzian IV culture reference. Lots of bars on the station. He picked several that were attended by the younger crowds, and had provocative atmospheres. He dressed carefully, choosing a brown outfit again that was distinctly revealing on his lower half while accentuating the upper half. His hair he brushed and brushed. And when he met his father at the docking port, Doryn was amazed at what a hot young stud his son was.

Kerryn was surprised at how nice Doryn cleaned up. He had dressed in black, and was still in good shape although his hair was graying. He had cultivated the experienced, I-can- make-your-dreams-come-true look for those looking for an experienced lover. They sized each other up, and Kerryn then had the audacity to make his dad a humorous offer.

"You know, Dad, you are hot enough that I could fuck you. Who would win then?"

Doryn had laughed. "Whoever topped." He winked at Kerryn. "I'm not totally inexperienced there either, you know." And that sent Kerryn's mind reeling. His Dad, butt-fucking? Inconceivable!

They left, and went their separate ways. Kerryn went to the first bar, and it was so disgusting he left immediately. The second one was almost as bad. By the time he got to the fifth bar, Kerryn had to rethink whether a fuck here was possible without catching a disease.

So, he took the opposite approach. He found some attractive people, and followed them. They led him to a trendy bar, all techno, and Kerryn would not have any of that. He gave up. Dulzian IV had a flight bar, the usual sort where Kerryn would go, and so he went in for a while.

This was his kind of place. Fliers, techs, various people who were not here to play but here to relax. He got his regular bourbon, and joined in a conversation about Cardassian tactics. It was then that a young brunette tech had joined next to the group, and was looking kind of down. Kerryn felt bad, and moved next to her.

"Hi. Saw you come in. Everything OK?"

She looked tired. "Yes and no. I came in to take a break. My ship is having problems."

"Let me buy you a drink. Then tell me about it. What'll you have?"

"Tangueray and soda." Kerryn signaled the bartender, and the brunette immersed herself in it for a moment. Kerryn watched her. She was pretty, perhaps mid twenties. Large eyes, but sparky. When she smiled at him, everything lit up.

"I'm Kerryn, by the way, of the freighter Totentanz."

"Tanya Johnson, of the Palos Verde. I'm the lead tech, but she's such a hodgepodge of systems that this one has me baffled."

"Oh? I'm a Ship Master. Maybe I can help."

"This is what it is telling me." And she rattled off some phonetics with a terrible accent. "I haven't any idea what that actually is."

Kerryn laughed. "It's Romulan." And he repeated what she said, with correct pronunciation. "It means that your power grid is fused in several quadrants."

"Damn." She looked at him carefully, as if for the first time. He was gorgeous. Young, too, and a Ship Master? "I don't suppose you would like to come over and take a look?"

He finished his bourbon. Screw the bet. "Let's go. I could use a good technical problem." And they left together.

The Palos Verde was fairly large, and it was a hodgepodge. Together they went through the diagnostics, and Kerryn's Romulan was invaluable. They replaced the power grid together, and Kerryn swept through the rest of the ship systems, which were in very good shape. It was just this one spot. The last coupling was in an access tube, and they both had crawled into it in order to get to the coupling.

Fate struck. Gotta love fate! Access tubes are slippery, and Tanya slipped. Her hand came down on his chest, and her head came down on his cock. From all the movement, Kerryn was half hard already, but this sudden proximity brought on a full raging erection. Which, of course, was what his clothing was designed to show off.

"Wow, I guess you are happy to see me, or does tech do that to you?"

Kerryn laughed a little awkwardly. "Well, I am happy to be with you."

The close proximity, pheremones, something changed at that moment, and Tanya moved her head slightly and raised one hand to stroke his cock. "Oh Kerryn, it's huge! And it's been such a long time for me." Her other hand reached over and stroked his butt, also in clothing designed to show it off, and that caused a long moan from Kerryn.

"Do you mind me doing that, Kerryn?"

He shook his head. "Oh no, although I never would have thought of a Jeffries tube for it."

She laughed a wicked laugh. "So you aren't a virgin. I think I know how to thank you for your help tonight." And she gave him a look of pure lust.

Kerryn's heart raced. "I think we should be able to freely thank each other." He winked at her, and gave her his best smile.

They slid out of the tube, and while she pulled on his arm he pulled her back to the console. "Come on, let's just make sure its right, OK?"

She pouted, but an analysis came up all green. The instant it was all green, Kerryn turned, took her in his arms, and greedily kissed her. She responded instantly, and they made out wildly in Engineering. Tanya finally broke the kiss, panting.

"Follow me. There are cameras in here and we aren't putting on a show."

Kerryn laughed, and followed quickly. "At least not without selling tickets."

They made it to her cabin, and the clothes came off and she tackled him. There was no foreplay, just pure fucking energy. They all but wrestled on the bed, and Kerryn finally decided to lose as she pinned his shoulders, her breast hanging right in front of his mouth. He grabbed it with his tongue, and she responded by leaning lower. Kerryn felt the hot wetness surround his cock, and knew that he was now deep inside her. But oh, she was generating such feelings down there as she rocked back and forth. She was lithe, muscular and forty years younger than Lwaxana, and every bit of it showed. He gave himself into the experience, and let her top him savagely.

He felt her orgasm, felt her relax from the exertion and then laughing he rolled her over onto her back, without ever leaving her warm haven. He wanted his fuck. And so he slid her legs up over his chest, his hands gripped her breasts and he began his slow thrusts in, out, over and over. She started breathing hard again, and he moved his hands back to her thighs, pushing her down even further. This caused her whole opening to contract, gripping him even tighter as it caressed the underside of his cock. He could feel the base under his cock come in contact with the skin just above her other entrance, and the complete sensation was filling him with satisfaction when she cried out in a second orgasm, and her muscles began gripping him strongly and rhythmically. Kerryn gave one final push deep inside, and succumbed to his own climax. Releasing her slowly, he leaned forward and kissed her gently as they squelched apart.

She opened her eyes to find him smiling at her. Any awkwardness vanished, and they giggled slightly. Tanya broke the silence first. "Well, I would call this night a definite success."

"Me too. Thanks, by the way. I really needed that."

"So did I. You're awfully experienced for what, eighteen?"

"Sixteen."

"Crap. I almost robbed the cradle."

"I've read a lot. And I certainly am no virgin."

"That's for sure."

Kerryn then snickered slightly. "And neither are you."

"Now THAT's for sure!" And they laughed, separated and Kerryn started to dress.

Her comm unit beeped, and she jumped into an informal outfit. "I hate to do this to you, but you are going to have to run. Now that the systems are back online, they want to leave pronto."

"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

She laughed, and they sprinted to the docking port. Kerryn was the last one out, and he blew her a kiss as they sealed the port. Wow. But he had loved it. Trading tech for a fuck. What a tramp he was! Talk about fuck and run.

Fuck.

He fucked.

He fucked on Dulzian IV.

His father had bet him that whoever fucked first on Dulzian IV would have ownership of Totentanz.

Elated terror ripped through Kerryn as that thought settled in. He had given up on the bet to help out Tanya, and ended up in her bed. Proof? His underwear still had vaginal secretions and his cum on it in trace amounts, he was sure. Incredibly bizarre, but his sex-stained underwear was worth about twenty million credits right now.

He noted the time, just in case, and with a wide, wide grin he sauntered back to the ship. He traversed the docking port and aimed towards his father's cabin. The light was on, and his dad was in there. Alone. Dressed. What did this mean?

Doryn looked up at his son. They stood there, looking at each other. Kerryn's hair was a mess. His clothes were OK, but rumpled. Could it have actually happened?

Kerryn decided to play. "So Dad, get any tonight?"

"Sad to say, no, my son. Lots of chatter, but no one looking for an old guy like me." He grinned. "It's just as well, though. I tried, but next time I may just throw the bet."

"Dad, you don't have to."

Doryn nodded. "That's my choice. I know what my plan is. I'll throw it if I want to."

Kerryn came over, grinning ear to ear, and said, "Dad, you won't have to." And the aroma of sex eased its way over to Doryn. And that was what woke him up.

"You got laid."

"Yup."

"Son of a bitch." Doryn grinned, and jumped up. "Ha! I had hoped you could do it!" He hugged Kerryn tightly, and then with a father's camaraderie asked, "How? How did you do it?"

"Luck." He told him how he scouted out the bars, and finally gave up and went to the flight bar. He told him how he met the frustrated tech, decided to forget the bet tonight, and how his Romulan helped them solve their problem. He humorously described how she had slipped, and grabbed him to hold on, thus revealing his erection. "Dad, she was so excited we nearly did it in the Jeffries tube right there. It was luck, and we both were pretty desperate." He laughed. "I didn't even think about the bet until I was on my way back and I had realized what happened."

"She's yours now, Kerryn. Fair and square. We'll do the paperwork tomorrow."

"Are you sure, Dad?"

Doryn nodded. "Absolutely."

And that was how Totentanz received its last owner. No longer Ship Master on Totentanz, but Ship Master OF Totentanz. The Guild officials had grinned as Doryn proudly disclosed the terms of the bet, which was not necessary but it still made for a great story. While most remembered that Kerryn's cock had bought him his ship, a few remembered that it was an act of tech and kindness that enabled that to happen.

Very little changed. Doryn showed Kerryn the accounts, and more of his operational education came into play. With Totentanz came an escrow account of several million credits, and without his father noticing Kerryn immediately doubled the contribution from their cargo runs into his father's retirement account. They laughed, they joked, and during the rest of the Aurigaen Belt run Kerryn assumed all the responsibilities of Totentanz. He truly was effective, even at the young age of sixteen, but when one has lived the process nearly one's whole life, the transition of responsibility isn't that hard.

And still, the cold silence of disinterest filled the void between Kerryn and Starfleet.

It was six months after Kerryn had been declared Ship Master, and four months after his ownership of Totentanz that Doryn and Kerryn were in a flight bar at Koppel IV. They had just picked up cargo, and were listening to the route information. The normal chatter around the pilots and owners was unusually subdued this time. And with good reason. Cardassia was growing more hostile.

The situation was grave. Major routes that had been close to the Cardassian Neutral Zone were now risky. Cardassian warships had been seen in greater numbers, and while it did not confirm anything, Kerryn and anyone who had studied Cardassian tactics knew that there would be a major conflict soon. Starfleet had also increased its presence here, and that alone was credible enough to be wary.

Doryn and Kerryn had left the bar, uneasy. They had just cleared the set of colonies closest to the Neutral Zone. Space was tense, and there was one more stop before back to Delvin Six. This pass they had made it through, but the next one was even more in question now. Doryn realized that he and Kerryn were vulnerable, and he had to assess where his son stood on this. If they had to react, they had to be of one mind, and Kerryn was the boss now. At dinner that night, Doryn brought it up.

"Kerryn, we need to discuss something very important."

Kerryn leaned back, and folded his hands. "OK."

"What will Totentanz do when the Guild is attacked?" As Kerryn reacted, he put his hands up. "I'm talking in general. You know the risks. We aren't big and powerful. We are the best that we can be, thanks to you, but a mouse is still a mouse, and many mice run away." His eyes blazed at his son, challenging him to take stand on this. "You own the ship. Will we run, or fight?"

Kerryn breathed deeply. What was his father asking? He saw for a moment a fierce Guild veteran and wily freighter ready to die for the Guild. But was he? He was only a short time from his planned retirement, and to have that ripped away because of Cardassia? His father changed then into an old man, tired and looking for a desperate hope that he might make it there someday.

But the Guild was everything to them. Everything! And it protects its members. His War School teachers had emphasized the utility of a small but well-placed weapon as well as the domination by firepower. Anger flooded Kerryn at the thought of running, but there was a time for running. He carefully chose his words.

"We fight, Doryn, as long as we can make a difference." Some of the anger flooded out, and he bit off wryly, "But I am not taking on the Cardassian Fleet alone."

Doryn nodded. "My thoughts exactly." And then he continued, "People die, son. They die of age, of disease, and often enough they die making a difference. It could be you or me, or anyone. Until Cardassia calms down a bit, being in space is just a bit dangerous."

Kerryn then voiced his own fear. "Dad, something's going to break out soon. Everyone can feel it. I just hope that I don't have to choose between fighting or fleeing."

Doryn smiled. "Whatever you choose, I know it would be the right decision." And a little of the old confidence was restored to both of them. Nevertheless, Kerryn checked the shields constantly.

Their last stop was a good-sized freighter base at Rana 7. Rana 7 would go down in the Guild history as the worst massacre of Guild men, women, children, families, and less importantly, ships and cargo. The Cardassians apparently needed to make a statement, and they did so.

It was as if time stood still and that dinner conversation echoed back to Kerryn as he saw four large Cardassian warships drop out of warp. Three went after the base, and fourth and largest began hammering the hell out of the freighter ships in its path. Within seconds the freighters opened fire on the Cardassians with everything they had, but for four warships this would barely scratch a dent.

Kerryn and Doryn were small, but they let loose with phasers and the ion cannon. Kerryn focused the firepower on the bridges of the warship, and the shields glowed red with energy. They were making a difference, and the surge of indignation and wrath was hot in their minds.

But it was too much for Totentanz. She blazed like a hornet, but her shields faltered and with a resonant shudder one of her shield generators went down.

"DAD! We've lost the primary shield generator!"

Doryn had seen his son's strategy. "I'll keep the attack up; you go get to that generator!"

Kerryn looked back, a prickling on his scalp. "Dad, you take damn care of yourself, OK?"

"I will!"

Kerryn flew down the stairs, past the cargo bay and into the Propulsion unit. Sure enough, the shield generator had overloaded. He pulled out a back-up control board, slammed it in and reset the generator. They were seconds away from being protected as the generator charged.

Suddenly, a massive shearing screeching sound filled the room and the emergency force fields kicked in as Totentanz spun wildly out of control. It was all Kerryn could do to climb over to the emergency attitude controls and get their inertial control back. SHIT! What had slammed them so hard to do that? As he worked their stability, he pounded the comm button.

"DAD! We've lost stabilization! I'm working on it!" But there was silence at the other end. Comms must be down. He worked the controls, and slowly the ship stopped spinning. Visual sensors were down, but tactical was up. And the only set of green lights in the entire section was for the Ion Cannon. He saw the massive Cardassian ship slide by him, and then like a miracle five new ships dropped out of warp and started blazing into the Cardassians!

The symbols on his display showed that Starfleet had arrived. But they were fighting all wrong. This was becoming a protracted battle. Minutes ticked by, and he could not get the comms unit back up. A glance at tactical, though and he saw it. Starfleet was being hit hard, but the Cardassian had re-allocated his rear shields. One look at the carnage on tactical and Kerryn knew what he could do. He set the Ion Cannon charging to maximum power.

Attitude control was shot. But a glance up into the hangar above showed that his Turian was intact! Pulling panels out, and hooking up a diagnostic conduit from the Turian to the maneuvering thrusters, he climbed up into his little ship, set it in a test mode, and very gently touched the controls. Totentanz's thrusters fired haphazardly, but Kerryn could figure out how to aim. By staring down at the tactical display on the deck below and touching the controls, he slowly aimed his only weapon at the now-vulnerable Cardassian. Once they noticed him, they would crush him like a bug, but the fire of his father's words seared through him. One touch, and they were aligned for about twenty seconds.

He jumped down, keyed in the emergency shutdown sequence for the singularity core, ran to the Ion Cannon controls which reported 105% charge, lifted the manual cover and pressed the button.

"Fuck you, assholes."

All the lights went out except the emergency lights. Kerryn felt the rumble of discharge, and he watched on tactical as the Ion Cannon slammed its entire power, fusing itself solid in the process. But the energy ripped across space, and shredded its way right into the main engine cores of the Cardassian. His studies had told him that they were arrogant as a culture, and that their engine systems were most vulnerable when the ship was unshielded. Kerryn grinned in satisfaction as he scored the direct hit. He may be a bug, and about to be squashed, but he had stung and he hoped it had hurt.

Tactical displays did not do it justice. What they did not see was that the entire engine section overloaded and detonated, severing the whole drive unit from the Cardassian main body and sending it hurtling off into the void. Devoid of its power source, the main section of the Cardassian ship was quickly pummeled into wreckage, and the Starfleet ships went to join the rest of the conflict. Now with more Starfleet and fewer Cardassians, the tide of the battle turned, and when the second Cardassian was destroyed the other two fled with heavy damage. Rana 7 was won, but at huge cost.

Totentanz was a mess. Life support was barely up. Kerryn stood, lights flashing. He worked his way forward, slowly. Everything was down. He tried to open one of the safety doors, but it showed red. That meant decompression. Not good. He began to worry. How would he get to his dad?

He went around the port side and found he could get a bit further forward. But it was there, looking out the window at the cargo bays ripped apart with ore flung in all directions, that he saw with horror what had actually happened. The Navigation deck was gone. All that was left were bits of twisted metal. And his father had been on the Navigation deck.

Desperately he flung his mind out, searching for a trace, a hint, a thought of Doryn. Maybe the deck was just cut off, and still pressurized! But empty space echoed back at him. He ran back to the Turian, tears flowing and unable to speak, and flung himself into it and it out into space. With its fully functioning systems, Kerryn finally realized the nightmare in space at Rana 7. Dozens of freighters drifted idly nearby.

Opening an all channel communication, he finally spoke. "Totentanz to Master Pilot Doryn. P-p-please come in." And again, silence echoed in space.

He saw it, then. A few shreds of hull plating, but he had welded them enough times that he knew now that the Nav deck had been destroyed, and his father had died instantly with it. Make a difference, they had decided. Well, they did, but the price! Slowly going numb, Kerryn just sat there in his Turian, the wreck of his fathers ship - no, his ship - floating idly below him, surrounded by dozens of friends in similar states. He could not go on. Not alone. The tears ran silently down his face. He was alone. Truly alone.

Jacen was sobbing again. Kerryn felt him as they nestled together. He was again filled with the sorrow and the fierce defiance that had let him continue. He stroked Jacen slowly, and waited for him to breathe more evenly.

"I'm so sorry."

"We knew the risks. Space is not always a nice place. But Rana 7 was a tragedy beyond any comparison. When I built this station, I made sure it would never, ever happen here."

"How did you go on?"

Kerryn sighed. "Work. Repairs were going to be very expensive. A freighter needs cargo to survive."

Jacen nodded, and settled back in. "I think we can go on, now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Definitely."

He might have stayed that way for hours or days. But Starfleet had begun mopping up the survivors, and his comm unit cackled.

"USS Hood to Turian Zephyr. Please respond."

Kerryn stirred, and found his voice. "Hood, this is Ship Master Kerryn of the Freighter Totentanz." What else could he say? "How may I help you?"

"We are collecting survivors. Are you injured?"

"No."

The Hood communications officer sympathized. Shock would set in. Get him landed and then deal with it. "Please vector your ship to these coordinates."

"My ship is disabled."

"Please vector the Turian Zephyr to these coordinates." A set of figures showed up.

"OK." He transmitted Totentanz's beacon enabler to show that she was not for salvage but still his, and slowly aimed his way over to the coordinates. The Hood was an Excelsior class starship with a large shuttle bay, and he successfully landed. Upon his arrival, though, three med techs and a security officer took him immediately aside.

"Wait." He ran back to the Turian, and spoke the deny access code in Romulan, and the little ship shut down. He then returned to them, and they escorted him to Sickbay.

That was the last he remembered for a while. His mind shut down. His father was dead, his ship destroyed. Hundreds of others were killed, and dozens of freighters disabled. He lay on their bed in numb shock for an interminable amount of time, until an orderly came over.

"Sir, I am sorry to ask this, but I must. Can you list any of your crew that are known deceased?"

Kerryn's eyes filled, but he nodded. "My father. Master Pilot Doryn." Panic seized him. "Can I see the list?"

The orderly handed it over, and he scanned names. Thomas and Mike were not there. But his grief was complete when he saw the names of Illiar, Pelossi, and he began to sob at the sight of Ramon's name. His Imzadi and his father, gone. He didn't see the orderly signal the nurse, nor the blessed hypospray send him to oblivion.

Some hours later, he woke. He remembered it all, but somehow it was there but not there. The orderly came in, nodded, and spoke to him gently.

"Sir, there is going to be a mass memorial gathering shortly. Do you think you can attend?"

Kerryn nodded. He found his voice, then. "Yes. I owe them that much." He stood, and found that he was only a little shaky. "Can someone escort me?"

A young man entered, in a red uniform. Security. Sheesh. Like he was a threat. "Right this way."

The memorial was poignant. They stood in the Hood's shuttle hangar, overlooking space, the carnage, and they read the names of those lost. A tear ran down his face for Ramon, and again for Illiar. For his father he stood tall and defiant, not willing to give in anymore to the pain. They had decided to make a difference. They had, however small, and Doryn would have thought it worth it.

The Guild Director heard Doryn's name, and his heart fell but his eyes searched the crowd when he didn't hear Kerryn's name. He found him then, on the side, with a cold fury in his eyes. And suddenly, he knew. Kerryn had been the one to take out the flagship from behind. Pride in the young man, pride in the Guild raced through the director like it had not in a long time.

The memorial finished, and the people began to filter out. Kerryn suddenly realized that he had a livelihood to continue, and his ship was wrecked. Damn! He literally ran to the nearest replicator, collected some food, and within five minutes was airborne and exited the Hood's shuttle bay. After this, parts were going to be a premium and he desperately needed a new deck for Totentanz.

Totentanz was too big for the Turian to tow. So instead, he set course at his little warp two and eleven hours later he landed at Delvin Six North. Kerryn immediately ran to see his friend Derrigan in Salvage.

Derrigan was surprised to see Kerryn. "Hey, Kerryn! I thought you were holed up at Rana 7. What a tragedy!"

Kerryn nodded. "Totentanz is pretty shot. I need a new Nav deck. Romulan would be good."

Derrigan laughed. "Good luck. Let me see what I have." They ran through the inventory, and it was pretty bad. Most of the good stuff had been reserved by the big guys. But something caught his eye.

"Kerryn, you should consider this. Lot 477." He turned the screen, and showed a view of a round saucer-like deck, two decks deep. "Duranium alloy hull, systems intact but untested. They're antique. But this bridge is built like a tank." He winked. "It's ex-Starfleet."

Kerryn looked. "Bridge? It looks like Constitution class from Starfleet." He glanced at the interior views, with the silver walls and black control panels. The blocky command chair stood proudly in the center, but the whole thing was scored. "Will it pressurize?"

Derrigan nodded. "What do you think?"

Kerryn stared at it. He had studied Federation engineering. The systems would adapt to Totentanz OK. Get rid of the turbolift, move things around a bit. "How much?"

"Two million."

The negotiation began. "For THAT? Try again." And they bickered. Finally though, Kerryn and Derrigan hit he crux.

"Seven fifty, and that's it."

Kerryn sighed. "If it's been around so long, why are you asking so much for it?"

Derrigan smiled. "Supply and demand, my friend. Now, I have this Ferengi sweetie here that -"

"OK! Seven fifty it is."

"Finance?"

"Short term. I'm due insurance."

They worked out the details, and Kerryn had his Nav deck. He booked an escort to move it for him, and donning a space suit and welder in hand he began the tedious task of marrying the bridge to Totentanz. There was enough scrap left around Rana 7 that he liberally grabbed and used structural members and interfaces. Two weeks of welding, and the bridge was sound and secure. He then reactivated the singularity core on Totentanz, and slowly moved her back to Delvin Six. The next three months consisted of refitting the bridge with compatible systems, and repairs on Totentanz to bring her back to cargo-worthiness. He had a goal: be ready for the Aurigaen Belt run.

Insurance money showed up, and Kerryn dug deep into it. All his father's assets were willed to him, and so he had the benefit of his father's retirement account. He worked, and worked, and worked, alone, and barely spoke to anyone short of the computing systems. And with one month to spare, Totentanz had been completely restored, repaired and adapted to her new readiness. It was inspection time.

The inspection of Totentanz was in the middle of the repair cycle for the ships damaged at Rana 7. The big ones were being repaired fast, but it took a lot of work. The smaller ones had to wait. And so it was that when Kerryn got his inspection, he was the first of the smaller ones to be ready. Needless to say, the inspection passed.

And yet, in the distant emptiness of space Starfleet continued silent, and as he worked on Totentanz Kerryn gave up hope for the Academy. Each bolt, each conduit, each system was a part of his investiture in the Guild, and a step away from the marvel of the Academy. Occasionally he would have a moment of awareness, a pang of loss and disgust, and then it would abate. No time for moping now.

The Guild Director stopped over when Kerryn was ready to leave. Besides wishing him congratulations and best of luck, he took a more personal note and they went to a bar. The Director noted how old Kerryn looked, realizing that his youngest Adjudicator was still sixteen, but it was sixteen going on sixty.

"Kerryn, no one can fault you work. Your father would have been so incredibly proud." He smiled at Kerryn's slight stiffening. "I know it hurts, but he is somewhere bursting with pride." He leaned forward. "When you shot the ass of that Cardassian, do you know what you really did?"

Taken aback, Kerryn shook his head. "Not really. I got a direct hit."

The Director nodded. "Yes, and changed the outcome of that battle. Starfleet itself was losing. We were losing. But you placed that one shot, and it destroyed the flagship."

"Destroyed?" Kerryn was aghast. "I knew I shot their engines apart. But what about the rest?"

"Chain reaction. And then with no power, Starfleet pummeled them. You, my boy, saved that battle." He shook his head again. "Hooking up that ridiculous Turian to your ship, and then using an antique weapon to achieve such results! Well done. Appalling circumstances, and I miss Doryn dearly. But he would be so incredibly proud right now."

"Yes, he would."

"So where are you off to now?"

Kerryn sighed. "Aurigaen Belt. It's as good a place as any for a shakedown cruise."

"Alone?"

Kerryn nodded.

"That isn't a good idea."

"Probably not, but it is what I am going to do."

The Director wasn't surprised. "The Guild has invested a lot in you, Ship Master. I'll revoke your command if you are out on a death wish or try to pull something stupid."

"Understood, sir, but I am not out for either of those. I just want to be alone, and I've got to clear some debt." Kerryn hadn't thought of a death wish. It would have appalled his father. No, he realized, he had much to do to uphold himself in the eyes of his father's ghost. And it still haunted him through Totentanz.

Satisfied, the Director finished his drink. "One more thing. The Belt run is four months?"

"Yes. It's pretty reliable that way."

"Just remember that you are still an Adjudicator, and I will be calling on you heavily for that when you get back."

Kerryn nodded, the director wished him luck, and departed.

Totentanz, incidentally was a name that referred to a Death Dance in old German. And that four-month trip in the Aurigaen Belt literally was that, as the freighter leapt from stop to stop in the ornate and well-defined trajectories it had been following for decades. Doryn's ghost followed everywhere, and Kerryn received condolences (but no favors) at each stop. They were relieved to see Kerryn follow in his father's footsteps.

The hardest stop had been Dulzian IV. The Palos Verde and Tanya were not there, but the station echoed with his moans of bliss and victory from the prior visit. Kerryn realized at that point that he was letting himself be haunted by the whole experience. Maybe it was because he was greeted here with enthusiasm on his own right, and it was the first stop not to immediately offer condolences on Doryn's death. But he began to shake off some of the grief.

Totentanz was now more than his ship. It was his adaptation. It wasn't his father's ship that he won in a bet, however ridiculous that might seem. It was his, with his bridge, his repairs, his new systems. And his cloaking device. She went faster than before, was more efficient than before, and had a bigger bridge than the old Nav deck had been. Slowly the ghost of Doryn let him be, and more of the fond memories dominated his mind when his father's image flashed through his mind. His last pain was that he wished Starfleet had responded to him while he was alive.

Kerryn turned seventeen in silence. He was at Mobius II for the event, and bought himself a bourbon at the flight bar. More route news, more tension with the Cardassians. Rana 7 was still disabled, which made Kerryn snort in disgust. It doesn't take that long to rebuild such an important station. Their engineers must be nuts.

His one outlet were the vids. Each stop has at least a dozen pornographic vid dealers, and Kerryn began collecting some. He would watch them while in flight, taking his time for a good long wank. Watching the vids helped him cum, but they also kept the memories of Imzadi at bay. Seventeen is a horny age, and Kerryn was no different there. He was grateful, actually because sometimes when he was so incredibly horny and would even fuck a Cardassian, there was no one but his hand and the vids. At least he stayed out of trouble that way.

When he got back to Delvin Six, it was hard not to label Kerryn a boonie. He was quiet but jumpy, and his hair made him truly look wild. His voice was gruff from disuse. The Guild immediately put him on assignment to clear the backlog of technical investigations. With the frightening thoroughness that was now an indelible part of him, Kerryn would visit the site of the technical issue, which was usually on a ship, sending the support staff in wild frenzy to answer his questions. He was thorough, he was fair, but he always found a voluminous list of problems that needed correcting.

Two months more of freight, and back to Delvin Six. He began docking less at Delvin Six North, and started planning newer routes. Starbase 277 was small, but on the fringe of the Federation and still offered freight services. It seemed that every time he ended up at the Guild station, he got more work from the Guild. By going to 277, he could slip out of that role.

The Flight School had actually made him realize that he needed to get out of civilization. The Station Commander had contacted him about visiting the Flight School to talk to the current class of students, and was surprised when Kerryn politely declined. One more link severed, one more step towards his peace.

It had caused some personal concern on the Director. Seventeen, and alone for months at a time. Yet every time he had talked with Kerryn, the young man was quick, efficient and moderate. Reticent, more so than ever. The Director had actually contacted the Tech Commander at the Flight School for advice, and began to understand more. The loss of his lover, the tainting of his best friend, his father, and then all their deaths while he survived - it was a lot to deal with. Kerryn needed something to inspire him.

That opportunity showed up quicker than ever. Starfleet, after being decimated by the Borg had lost a number of ships and as a result had designed some new ones. All in a hurry. Most were operational, but the new Defiant class was having problems. Unable to resolve them due to resource time on their own, they had assembled a team of experts to help, and the Guild was contributing some veteran members. The Director saw an opportunity, and remembering the work with the Turian Zephyr, he named Kerryn to the list.

Fortunately, Kerryn was at Starbase 277 after just unloading cargo when the flash priority message arrived. He read it in disbelief. It was from the Guild Shipworks Office, and it ordered Lieutenant Kerryn to Starbase 290 immediately to support an engineering review. Oh, and he would have a passenger who was also on the team.

Kerryn sighed. He had just begun to feel normal again. He would need a new Guild uniform. And so he started the preparations. He cleaned a cabin, not that it was dirty but hey, that's what you did. The rest of Totentanz was in tip- top shape, except for the bridge lighting. It would go out for no reason periodically. Kerryn had made a mission of tracing the problem but he always got sidetracked as he got close to it.

Dressing in a ship suit, he met a pleasant good-looking man named Zink Battan. Zink had been pulled off of another ship to join this team. He was older, with those unremarkable features that describe general good looks. He grinned at Kerryn.

"Lieutenant Zink Battan. Permission to come aboard?"

Kerryn smiled, and shook his hand. "Welcome aboard Totentanz. I'm Kerryn."

"Call me Zink." He squinted. "You're a lot younger than I expected." Apparently Zink spoke his mind.

"Seventeen, to be correct." They entered the ship, and he showed Zink to his cabin. "This is your cabin. We can make Warp Five at best, so it'll be six hours or so. Feel free to wander around. I'm without cargo just now."

Zink looked around the cabin in appreciation. Spartan, yes, but functional and nice sized. "Thanks. Where's the rest of your crew?"

Kerryn laughed. "No crew. Just me." He described the ship's layout, and then waved. "I've got to get us under way. The bridge is all the way forward and up the stairs."

"Thanks again." And as he watched Kerryn depart, he moistened his lips. Kerryn was definitely a hot guy. A boonie for sure, but frustrated boonies made the most exciting sex partners.

Kerryn reached the bridge, departed and made best speed to Starbase 290. It was close, but it was a lot bigger. Humph. And more expensive. He would at least get to expense the docking fee to the Guild. Zink joined him up there shortly, and laughed.

"Starfleet, eh?"

Kerryn nodded. "After Rana 7, it was what I could afford and what was available. It actually works out really well."

"They aren't big on interoperability."

"Nope. I had to replace all the systems. They were antiques anyway. But the structure and the hull are well worth it."

"It's nicely done. Who did the work?"

"I did. Took almost three weeks in a space suit, but it isn't going to come off."

Zink whistled. "So, you are a flier and a tech?"

"And a boonie. But my Guild title is Ship Master."

Zink nodded. "Ah. Got it. I'm only a Master Technician. I can see why you are on this team, though."

Kerryn brightened considerably. "I know nothing. What is this about?"

Zink took one of the few seats. "Starfleet built a new class of ship. Defiant. It's got problems and they want help fixing it because all their shipyards are busy. It's also supposed to be a model for others to build off of. They got hit really bad by the Borg."

Kerryn shuddered. "The Borg give me nightmares." His thoughts turned back to the Defiant class. "What's the big problem they have?"

"Poor power use. It's nonfunctional. It fused half its systems on the first mission."

They chatted, and Kerryn found out that Zink was from the Palos Verde. "I met a friend on Palos Verde some months ago. Tanya Johnson?"

Zink nodded. "Oh yes, we know Tanya. She is good, and she's a legend among us. We were at Dulzian IV with an undiagnosable problem. She goes to the bar, finds a genius who comes back with her, they fix it and then have the hottest make-out session most of us have ever seen. Apparently he got a clue, and then they went off together. She won't tell anyone how she did it. She had to run the guy off the ship though, `cause the captain saw green and wanted to go." He laughed. "I guess we'll never know how she pulled it off."

Kerryn was bright red. His sex life was never before general knowledge. Before he could stop himself, he said, "It was just luck. We were in the bar at the right time."

Zink stared. "Holy shit, it was YOU! Man, you are legend on Palos Verde! Both for fixing the grid, and for whatever you did to Tanya. She was purring like a kitten for weeks." He leaned closer. "So what really happened?"

Kerryn shrugged. "I wasn't looking for anything." That wasn't quite true. "But I was in the bar, she came over and ordered something strong. So I asked what was going on, and she told me." Kerryn grinned. "I speak Romulan, and so we went back to Palos Verde. We fixed the problem, but-" and he stopped.

"But what? C'mon, tell me! You must have been hot for her."

"Not until she grabbed me in the Jeffries tube."

Zink laughed. "She slipped and grabbed you? Where?"

"Where do you think?"

"Nice. Then what?"

"Well, you saw the rest."

"Ha." Zink continued to grin. "The rumors are a lot better. The truth could use some embellishment."

Kerryn liked this guy. He was easy, he was relaxed. "Rumors are rumors." He shrugged. "But I'm glad to hear that she is doing OK." He moved back to the topic. "Defiant, hmmm. What are we doing there anyway?"

Zink rolled his eyes. "I almost forgot. Give me your implant." Kerryn held out his arm, and Zink applied what was known as an encrypted one-time use uploader. "Congratulations, you are now a Delegate of Delvin Six and the Freighter Guild. That gives you full Ambassadorial status."

"Cool. So what are we really doing?"

And Zink explained that they were there to review the Defiant class. With a sufficient vote, the Guild and others would contribute experience and cooperation in exchange for several of the vessels, crewed by Starfleet but at non- Starfleet discretion. "The Guild is relying on us to make sure that they get something useful."

Kerryn nodded. "OK."

Zink looked at him carefully. "Kerryn, I'm a blunt outspoken guy, and a good tech. The Director is concerned that you may not be vocal enough. What do you think?"

The young Ship Master considered this. "He's probably right, at least at the beginning. I've been out alone for a long time."

"If there is anything you need to say, and you can't do it, tell me. That's part of my job. The Guild has incredible confidence in you."

Kerryn nodded. "OK, call it a backup plan."

They continued, and then Zink yawned widely. "I'm going to bed for the next four hours. Wake me an hour before docking?"

"Will do." And Zink went to his cabin and closed the door.

Six hours later found them docked and debriefed on the procedures. Zink had donned his formal Guild uniform, but Kerryn stayed in the ship suit. He fully hoped to get a nuts- and-bolts view of Defiant, and they entered the auditorium with eagerness.

That was shattered quickly. The first hour was spent discussing rhetoric. The second hour was all about posturing by Starfleet. They broke for lunch, and then four more hours on concept of operations. Kerryn took patchy but detailed notes. Zink was bored out of his mind.

The chairperson, Ambassador Lankov from the Federation, make some remarks. "Gentlemen, ladies, it has been a long day. Let us close the day with a vote: Pass for continuance, or Fail." General murmurs followed after that, and a lot of head shaking. Kerryn was surprised. Was this just a political farce? He knew the rules for voting, and already had his choice.

The vote was cast, and as the votes were counted the tension grew. One by one the votes were tallied, and with only several to go the majority was in question. Finally, with the last vote counted, pale and disturbed Ambassador Lankov spoke up.

"The results are seventeen Pass, seventeen Fail, and one Undecided."

The uproar flooded the room, and Zink turned to Kerryn as Kerryn himself turned bright red. "Undecided?? That was YOU? Jeez man, welcome to the spotlight! Shit!"

The room was quieted, and the Ambassador spoke again. "Would the undecided vote like to step forward and share with us his rationale?"

Zink turned to Kerryn. "Well?"

Kerryn nodded nervously, and stood. "May I approach the podium?"

"By all means."

As he walked, he saw the scheming stares of what appeared to be politicians around him. Damn them. This is a design review, not an election! Fury began to rise in him. Cold fury. Millions died because of the Borg, and this mishap of a vessel was being negotiated as a solution?

Zink watched him gather momentum, and grinned. He should have sold tickets.

Kerryn approached the podium, and the Ambassador stepped aside. He began to speak. "First, I am Ship Master Kerryn, a Delegate of the Freighter Guild. I have level twelve qualifications in all areas of ship operations and engineering. I have elected to vote Undecided because this meeting is a Technical Design Review called by Starfleet, and I have yet to see one shred of technical discussion." He took a deep breath. "My Guild has entrusted me with technical responsibility of seeing its objectives met. Being as how I joined this review seven hours ago, at this time I have no basis by which to cast the vote entrusted to me."

There was a dead silence, and the Ambassador nodded, shredding Kerryn with his eyes. So Kerryn continued, "Ambassador, please, what is the procedure for obtaining technical design information on the Defiant class, and for scheduling a flight test?"

PANDEMONIUM! Cries of astonishment from Starfleet, and disbelief from many of the members present, although a faction in the back stood and began clapping loudly. The Ambassador assumed the podium and called them back to order, at which point Kerryn shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "I didn't think that was such an unreasonable request."

Lankov realized that there might be something productive finally out of this after all, but it wasn't going to be the rubber stamp he had hoped for. "We can discuss that after the meeting."

Kerryn shook his head. He knew a blow-off when he saw it, and a quick scan of Lankov proved him right. "I'm sorry, but that would be biased and unacceptable. I should have access only to the same information that everyone else is entitled to, although they may decline it at will."

Lankov's eyes narrowed, and Kerryn saw a necessary confrontation coming. So he beckoned to Lankov, and they stepped back from the podium.

Lankov made the first comment. "You're in over your head, boy."

Kerryn smiled. "Perhaps. This is for your knowledge only. I have nothing to lose here, except the welfare of my Guild if deception takes place. I am incorruptible. I also am half Betazoid, so nothing, and I mean nothing, gets past me, Ambassador."

Lankov went completely pale. "Understood. But you are playing with fire, boy."

"My proper title is Ship Master, Ambassador. I have not yet shown you any discourtesy." He sighed melodramatically. "Being so young-looking, I'm so misunderstood." Play up the fear. "I've probably killed more people this year than you've had dinner with." And he stepped back, next to the podium.

Shaken, the Ambassador knew he was trapped. But they at least would get a technical solution on Defiant now, that he was sure of. Guess this would be an honest one, as this kid? Killer? Tech? Delegate, he realized, more than anything. This Delegate would see to it that it went that way.

"Ladies and gentlemen, technical details on Defiant are available by request through my office. We don't have many data pads, so please bring your own for upload. We also have a holographic design center put together. Our next meeting is in thirty six hours. Meeting adjourned!" And he moved quickly out of the theater before anyone could further trap him.

Zink was staring and grinning at him, and as Kerryn finally realized what he had done he began to shake. What the fuck was this? Thrown to the lions, with an impossible task? If he weren't so pissed at Starfleet in general, would he be doing this? He looked at Zink, and said, "Let's go to the FQ bar."

They went, and while Kerryn could feel many of the other delegates rushing behind him, he knew his way around and slipped up the back stairs. Many of them wouldn't recognize a staircase if it hit them. A wave of his implant, and they were in the Guild section of the station, and then the bar. Sitting, without any greeting he called the bartender and ordered three bourbons.

Zink raced to keep up with him, and when he saw the three glasses he knew Kerryn was rattled. God, it had been something to see. Kerryn held the trump card, and a dozen nations now hung on his every word. The Director was going to shit.

Five minutes, and Zink started talking. "I've never seen such a farce all day today. I don't know why the Director sent us here if it was going to be like that. Maybe to do just what you did, and shake things up a bit. But tomorrow they will all have recovered from the shock." He leaned forward. "Just so you know, I have to make daily reports to the Director, about our status. He was desperate to do something about this, and he feels bad about throwing us in."

Kerryn finally looked at Zink. "S'OK. Just tell the truth." He sighed. "Zink, I don't know if I can keep up that pose. I mean, they're all such big, important people and I'm, well, me. A boonie on a one-man cargo freighter."

Zink stared, and then laughed. "You need a good lay, my friend. Maybe I'll have Tanya warp in."

Kerryn stared again, and then laughed as the liquor took hold. The incongruity struck him, and Zink was bound to find out anyway. "Zink, don't bother. I'm gay, although I can claim to show a woman a good time once in a while."

"You're gay?" Zink shuddered. Oh yes, he knew what he would do. "When we get back, we're going to discuss that." He had seen one of the other delegates come over, a tall man with gray hair and blue eyes that twinkled merrily. "Uh oh, here comes one of the delegates. Guild cleared, though."

The man spied them, and came over to sit next to Kerryn. He ordered something, and then looked him square in the eyes. "That was really something, today. We've been clamoring for details all along, and nothing happens."

"Well, I've got a job to do, and people will die if this isn't done, and isn't done right."

"A most excellent philosophy."

Kerryn started to like this man. "A way of life, really. Knowing you can rely on certain things makes survival easier."

The man nodded. "I have thought so, and every ship I have designed has echoed that philosophy."

Something clicked in Kerryn, and he reached forward and downed another bourbon. One to go. He held out his hand. "Ship Master Kerryn, of the freighter Totentanz. My associate here is Master Technician Zink Battan, of the Palos Verde."

The man nodded, and took the hand. "Turian, Director and Chief Designer of Turian Shipworks."

Kerryn froze. "Turian? THE Turian?"

The man nodded, grinning. "In the flesh."

"Well, indeed this is an honor. I had never expected to meet you!" Kerryn warmed, suddenly. This was the man who had designed his beloved Zephyr. "Working your ships has been an absolute pleasure! Not like that Prevyar crap."

That brought out a chuckle. "Yes, well, someone has to make ships for the masses."

"They brought you in to review the Defiant as well, then. Wow."

He nodded. "Really, Kerryn, I'm just a builder, not a miracle worker."

Kerryn laughed at himself. "Perhaps. But you certainly have my highest respect for ship design and construction."

Turian's eyes narrowed. "That means you have worked some of mine. Which ones?"

"Well, at the flight school they still use a number of your trainer craft. I found one of yours specifically and brought its aging guts up to standard." Kerryn grinned slyly. "But the one I am most proud of I have back on Totentanz."

"Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?"

"A Zephyr." He paused, and then said, "D series."

Turian's eyes split wide, and his grin followed it. "Really? I've tracked most of them down, and I do not recall seeing your name on the list. Which one do you have?"

"Number five."

Turian sat back, his eyes speculative. "Number five was sold as salvage for parts."

"My father bought it in barely flyable condition from the Delvin Six Salvage Office. I reworked it to specification, and have since added a micro-warp drive." He sighed. "I love that ship."

"A micro-warp drive? That would be something to see. The hull isn't warp capable."

"Wasn't. I had to add some reinforcements and beef up the inertial dampers, let alone the power systems."

A very technical exchange took place, and the more it did the broader Turian's grin grew. Finally, he called a halt. "Sounds like you reinvented my ship. I don't suppose it's near by?"

Kerryn laughed. "Walking distance."

"Ship Master, I would love to see the D-5 again, at your convenience."

Kerryn nodded. "It would be a pleasure. But not today, I think. I've got to get through the Defiant design still."

Turian nodded. "As do we all, now that the tech data is unlocked." Standing, he gestured to them. "Care for a stroll to the Ambassadorial Office?"

Stopping at Totentanz long enough to pick up a data pad, Kerryn, Zink and Turian made their way to the office, where an ambassadorial aide uploaded the data onto their pads, and them curtly dismissed them. It was obvious though that the Ambassador was not cooperating, as the data was locked and could not be opened by either of them. They needed a Starfleet id of some sort.

They split up, Turian back to his office and Kerryn and Zink back to Totentanz, with the promise of sharing anything they unlocked if they could do it.

Most of the other officials were using hotel services on the station, but Zink and Kerryn returned to Totentanz. Zink really didn't mind, but he had booked a large and comfortable suite on the station. Kerryn, however immediately opened one of the cabins and began spreading out information about Defiant. Again, he set up a war room for designers, and tried to access the Defiant data from the Ambassador. No luck. It kept asking for a Starfleet id.

Wait a minute. He ran back to his cabin, fished out his Starfleet communicator badge, and remembered how he had identified himself for the Academy exams. Zink had followed him in, and this time when it asked for his id, he wore the activated communicator and spoke.

"Lieutenant Kerryn, Flight Officer First Class and Master Technician, Freighter Guild."

The data pad unlocked the file, and copious information began streaming out. Zink let out a shout, and they began displaying data on whatever they could. Much of it was there. Kerryn stopped long enough to let Turian know that any valid Starfleet id would work, but Turian had gone to bed. Zink was going to make his report, and was on his way to bed when he heard Kerryn began speaking violently in some other language.

"Dude, what is it?"

Kerryn turned to him. "This fucking ship was designed by a committee! And one whose members apparently didn't talk to each other. There's integration evidence all over this ship that shows total breakdown of configuration."

"That's pretty bad."

"Not so bad. I think we'll find that the systems used are robust and reliable, but it is the infrastructure that is shot to hell." Kerryn paced. "They aren't going to like this at all." He grabbed a pad. "I'm going to draft some recommendations that you will have to introduce at the next meeting."

Zink put up his hands. "No way. I'm out of my league. You are going to have to do it. I have to speak to the Director and he will be elated that we actually have a voice this time." As he said it, he could see Kerryn slide back inside, away from a stand. "Oh no, my friend, you can't escape. Not now. It's too late for that."

"Zink, I can not go up there alone and shoot apart their design! Are you fucking nuts?"

"Funny you should mention fucking. You need to top, my friend. Tonight. You need to get used to asserting yourself. I know you can do it, because I have seen it. But you have to be able to choose to do it, not be forced into it." He moved closer to Kerryn. "You said you were gay."

"It's true."

"Well, so am I. You're going to top me tonight."

Kerryn couldn't believe his ears. "What? You aren't serious."

"Nope, I am. I can tell. You're going to top me, and what's more, you are going to have to want to, more than I don't want you to. Damn it Kerryn, you've got to. I'm going to resist, but you've got to do it. I've even orders from the Director for you to that effect." That was a stretch, but hey!

Zink kept goading Kerryn. Kerryn became more and more irritated. Zink was provoking him into action, and finally Kerryn had had it. He was going to top him, and give him the fuck of his life. But it would be on his terms.

Zink knew he was close. One more would do it. Hit him in the nuts, he thought.

"Shit, Kerryn, you've got to do better. I'm beginning to think you and Tanya made up that whole thing."

Stung, Kerryn lost it. "That does it, Zink. You want to be topped?" He stormed over to Zink, who was now wide-eyed with surprise as Kerryn pushed him back into the wall. His body, now taut and sensitive pressed into Zink's. His eyes blazed and caught fire, and without waiting he caught Zink in a powerful kiss, the older man suddenly trembling helpless in the fierce, hot embrace. They were both hard, instantly, and the desire for sex flooded Kerryn.

Kerryn dragged Zink to his cabin, and closed and locked the door. "Strip." And Zink slowly started, lingering on things like cuffs, until Kerryn stepped forward and efficiently removed his clothes. Kerryn spent no time on his own, and quickly stepped out of them. And there they were, two naked men, one older one younger. Zink began to wonder what he had unlocked.

But Kerryn left him no time to think. Pushing him onto the bed, he attacked the older man's cock with his mouth. Roughly. Zink was caught off guard, and a long groan escaped from him as Kerryn expertly laved his sensitive organ. And when Kerryn's hand firmly closed on his balls, Zink felt the rapture of being trapped in pleasure. Any wiggle from him brought on a squeeze that showed him exactly who was boss.

Kerryn satisfied his need there, and then he pulled off and climbed up over Zink. Zink was now half sitting against the headboard, as Kerryn stood on his knees in front of him, his cock right there in front of him. Zink knew what was expected, but he wasn't going to give in. No, make him do it himself.

Kerryn saw the inaction, and that flared through him. So he came closer, and gently taking Zink's head in his hands he drew the older man's mouth onto his own cock. Shivers of sensation raced through him. Zink knew what he was in for, or so he thought. But Kerryn drew Zink's mouth on and off his cock, and Zink began to oblige with his tongue. Kerryn, however began to push deeper into Zink, and slowly when Zink had taken a deep breath, he pushed himself all the way in, firmly but gently. God, that felt good! Zink then surprised him by grabbing his ass and pushing in that extra half inch. Mmmm.

Kerryn pulled out of his mouth, and Zink had that wanton look that showed that he was enjoying this. Time to fuck. "Roll over." And as Zink moved, Kerryn reached for the lube and coated his cock. This was dominance, not sadism. He wanted it long, hard and slick.

Zink had a great butt. But he wasn't rolling over. So Kerryn glared at him, and decided that this would have to go to a new level. "Roll over, damn it."

"Why should I?" He smirked. Kerryn looked so hot and bothered right now.

Kerryn then did something he had never done before, nor did he know that he could do it. Lust and dominance were ruling him, and he reached with his mind into Zink. Zink gasped in surprise as he felt the other mind flood his, and before he could stop himself Kerryn had taken command of his body and rolled him over, his butt exposed, ready and waiting. Satisfied, Kerryn approached from behind, placed his cock at Zink's entrance and began the long stroke inward. Gently. He wasn't there to hurt him, but he was there to top him.

Zink felt the grip on his mind and body, and struggled, but he knew he had achieved success as Kerryn stroked in and out. He could feel the other mind in its vice-like grip on him, and the pleasure it was giving was beyond anything he had had. He was enraptured too much to care about being violated, and with one long stroke he reached orgasm and spilled his seed all over Kerryn's bed. Oh god, that was good!

Kerryn however did not let up. He continued to build his own sensations, and managed to convey to Zink that he could struggle all he wanted but Kerryn was not letting go until he was done. Zink took the chance then, amazed, to fight and writhe in the mental grip as his body was pummeled, but it was no use. He was a captive to the young guy topping him. And topping him well! With amazement, Zink felt another orgasm rip through him as Kerryn stabbed at his pleasure spot, and with a gasp Kerryn himself came long and hard inside Zink.

After several seconds and the spasming had stopped, Kerryn released Zink's mind and rolled to the side of the bed. He was exhilarated, he was victorious, and he was exhausted. Zink had played him like a fiddle, and yet Zink probably got more than he had bargained for.

"Well now, that was probably one for the record books." Zink winced slightly. His butt had been well reamed, but he was no stranger to that. "I think you'll do fine. But, what the hell were you doing inside my head?"

Kerryn looked over at the really hot figure of Zink. "It's not widely known, but I'm half Betazoid. I can give my partner a superior experience, among other things."

"Did you do that for Tanya?"

Kerryn shook his head. "No, there wasn't time."

Zink looked at him. "You went too far."

"Fuck you, Zink. You asked for it."

And then he knew that he had done it. Zink cracked a smile, and said, "You're right. Well done. That was awesome." He groaned and started to dress. "Until this is over, every night you are going to do just that and more to me. I have little to hide, so top my mind too." Kerryn stared at him, amazed. "I'll love it, of course, but I will resist it. You've got to keep that aggressive edge."

Kerryn stared at him, and then laughed. "You're a whore, Zink."

Rather huffily, he shook his head. "Not really. You aren't paying me." Then he yawned widely. "I'm going to bed now. You?"

"Nope. Shower, though and then back into Defiant."

They split up, and while Zink went back to the station, Kerryn enjoyed a long shower. During that time, Zink called into the Director. The Director was most curious to hear from Zink this time.

"Well, Battan, what's going on?"

Zink related the day, and the Director had to sit down. "He's really amazing. He won't take an aggressive lead unless there is no other way. He is disgusted with the design on Defiant, and that is the best thing in the world for him because he will fix it, and will not swerve from fixing it."

The Director nodded. "There's more, I can tell."

"Well, somehow he got a Starfleet id and communicator. The data we got was locked, and he knew enough somehow about how the ids work, so the next thing I know he's got a communicator and unlocked the thing. He used an earlier title to identify himself, though, so it must be an old id."

"Well, now, that is interesting. Anything else?"

"He's gay by preference. And he's half Betazoid, with the mental skills to prove it." Zink winked at the director, who got the point immediately. "He's also got a great friend and ally now in Turian."

"That is most excellent news. I gave you a sealed container before you left. Open it. Inside are the Director's Proxy and an updater. Give it to him."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I know him a bit, and he will not abuse the privilege."

Zink gulped. Kerryn would have total control of the Guild. "Yes, sir."

"Remember, though, he is not political. Anytime he gets close to something we want to protect, invoke the need for an Ultraviolet Clearance. I've just cleared him and you for that."

Shit, shit, shit! "Yes, sir." And they closed the link.

Kerryn worked through the details. He had no idea what time it was, but on Totentanz it was 0400 hours when he contacted Defiant. He wanted a flight test.

"USS Defiant, this is the Freighter Guild vessel Totentanz."

His small screen cleared to show an oldish man. "Totentanz, this is Captain Delario. How may we be of service?"

"Sir, I am one of the technical reviewers on the Design Review Team. I was hoping for some flight test time."

The captain grinned. "We were forewarned that you might ask for that. What did you have in mind?"

"Some stressing maneuvers and actions that characterize power consumption. I would also like to find an asteroid and shoot the bloody hell out of it with phasers."

The captain nodded. "Ambassador Lankov is asleep just now." Kerryn's heart fell. "But I and my night engineers would be pleased to run some exercises for you."

YES!! "Captain, I humbly take you up on your offer."

"Beam over in ten minutes?"

"Yes, at the standard point."

"Very good." The captain closed then channel, and grinned. "Alert the crew. Full readiness."

Two hours later they were done, and Captain Delario wondered whether this had been a good idea. First, Kerryn had them do some long accelerations and stops. Then some tight turns. He then asked to take the helm, and put the ship through tortuous maneuvers in what must have been a dozen dimensions. The power and propulsion systems had whined in response, and half the crew was nauseous. Then, at quarter power across the board they had shot full phasers at an uninhabited asteroid, blowing it to bits but browning out the ship. Delario realized that Kerryn knew the faults, and was testing how bad the reality was. All in this kid. He collected all kinds of statistics on a data pad, and was perfectly polite about anything that could be sensitive.

Delario himself had escorted him back to the transporter. "I sincerely hope you got what you were looking for, Ship Master. That was one hell of a ride."

Kerryn grinned. "Captain, it was a pleasure. I am going to make a number of recommendations on how to fix this ship." The captain bristled at that one. "The individual subsystems are all fine, but the infrastructure is hell. I may have to get very nasty about Starfleet design, but you and your crew have been the soul of courtesy and accommodation. We are going to fix this ship."

Delario knew sincerity when he saw it. "I believe you will. Thank you." He turned to the chief. "Energize." And when Kerryn was gone, Delario went right to Sickbay for something to relieve the queasiness.

Kerryn flew back to Totentanz, where he found Zink and Turian patiently waiting for him. Ooops.

"Where have you been?"

"Flight test on Defiant."

They laughed, and then saw him plug in the data pad. Zink's eyes went wide, and he exclaimed, "You're serious, right? SHIT! Don't you ever fucking sleep?"

Kerryn turned to look at Zink coyly. "I could start right here on you in front of Turian. Do you want that?"

Oooh, he was feeling his horns today, thought Zink. "That will not be necessary, thank you. What did you find?" And they went through it all. After nearly twenty hours, Kerryn had formalized his list of recommendations, and had a long discussion with Turian about the warp nacelles. They were too weak to be on supports, and needed to be integral with the ship. Kerryn had no clue how to do that, but Turian took over and redesigned the outer hull. What came out was what would eventually be the USS Defiant that would go to Deep Space Nine under Benjamin Sisko.

Zink and Turian had disappeared at some point. He knew they each had been yawning and maybe they went to take a nap. That was fine; he had what he needed. It just had to be turned into a report and with pretty language.

A chime went off, and a transmission came in from Ambassador Lankov. "Ship Master, this is Ambassador Lankov. I understand you conducted some flight tests yesterday."

Was it yesterday already? "No rest for the busy, Ambassador. Yes, Captain Delario was most obliging, although I am afraid I nauseated most of the crew."

"You will share your findings with us today?"

Today? He checked his watch, and sure enough it was 0620. Two and a half hours to go. Kerryn nodded. "Ambassador, I believe I will need most of the day to discuss Defiant. This is going to be an honest, dirty little review."

The ambassador nodded. He had thought as much. This kid got things done. "I would like to conference in the key designers at Starfleet Command and Utopia Planitia over subspace." See if he would be scared off.

Kerryn nodded. "A most excellent idea. The less I have to repeat myself, the better. I'm losing money on this assignment."

The ambassador's eyebrows raised. "Losing money?"

"I'm a freighter, ambassador. No cargo means no money."

"I see." But he didn't. "We will see you in two hours. Lankov out."

Turian and Zink had arrived with coffee, and now was hovering behind him. "I've got something for you." He slapped on a large, ornate Guild symbol and with a small device updated his implant. "Congratulations, you are now the Director's Proxy."

"WHAT?" He looked at the symbol. "Oh shit, Zink! Me?"

"Yes you, you asshole." Zink was grinning. "I've never delivered one before, but it is real. He is real proud of you." Zink punched him in the arm. "You don't ever sleep, do you? You need a shower bad, and a new uniform. You should wear the formal one."

Kerryn looked at Turian, who had been watching, amused. "Would you excuse us for a moment?"

Turian knew that look. He had thought Kerryn was gay, but with the interactions now he knew what Zink's role was. "We don't have all day, you know." And he exited the conference room.

Kerryn walked over to Zink, pushed him again up against the wall and kissed him thoroughly. All he needed was the momentum from the kiss, and Zink returned it. When it broke, Zink was panting and grinning, and Kerryn was satisfied.

"Feel better?"

"In some ways."

On the way out, Kerryn took Turian up to see the little Zephyr D. Turian's eyes were shining as he went over the craft, touching his signature carefully. "She's beautiful, Kerryn."

"Thanks. I love that ship more than anything."

"Or anyone?"

Kerryn chilled, and looked at Turian distantly. "I've had all my loves ripped away from me, either by elitism or by the Cardassians."

"You survived Rana 7 then."

"My father, two very close but estranged friends and a host of other friends of mine were killed at Rana 7. But yes, I survived."

Zink chimed in. "He's the one who wiped out the flagship."

Kerryn glared at Zink, but Turian stared at Kerryn. "Really? I would like to hear of that sometime."

"Well, suffice to say that that little Zephyr, in diagnostic mode aimed an antique but powerful weapon into the Cardassian's engines and started an unknown-to-me chain reaction that let Starfleet pummel the shit out of them."

They had arrived at the conference room early, and Turian shook Kerryn's hand. "You have my total support. Defend the Guild. And this is not the first time I have shook hands with the Director's Proxy."

Kerryn blushed. "Thanks. It was a pleasure meeting you." Kerryn already had his exit plan, although Zink probably didn't know about it yet. He had had enough of this activity. All it made him want to do was crawl back in to Totentanz and escape.

They entered, and several tech people were there coordinating displays. Kerryn worked with them to interface in the data pad. He had made sure that both Zink and Turian had an unlocked copy of the data and all the recommendations. The link with Starfleet was established, and the others began filtering in.

Kerryn was in full dress uniform, every medal, insignia and emblem visible, along with the proxy. But it was the sunken fire in his eyes and the obvious exhaustion that actually added to his credibility. This guy had invested a lot of himself, and that had caused a round of muttering. Ambassador Lankov started the discussion promptly.

"Ship Master, would you care to take the floor?"

"By all means, Ambassador." He went over to the podium with his coffee, and there was a quiet tension in the air. "Here is my principal assessment. If you remember nothing else, remember this: Defiant's infrastructure is shot to hell." Furor, then quiet. "This ship was designed by a committee. Each of the subsystems works well and is appropriate, but power is five times too low. I don't know what the fuck Starfleet was thinking, but the lead engineer should be aimed at a supernova."

Shouting and gesturing! Most of it was from the Starfleet link. Too tired to fight, Kerryn waited five minutes for it to die down, and when it didn't he gave up and spoke right into the microphone, deafening the crowds on both sides. "WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!"

Silence.

"Thank you. We flew some flight tests yesterday morning -" and more shouting erupted. This was almost comical. He waited for it to die down again, and said, "If there are any more eruptions like that one, I will call security and we can do this from prison cells." He addressed the monitors. "Starfleet, you are guests here. Please behave like guests." Damn it, he was the Guild Director right now, and that deserves some respect.

Zink was filled with fierce joy and pride. Kerryn was going to nail this!

"These are the power consumption profiles from those flight tests. My eternal thanks to Captain Delario for obliging me on short notice." The room darkened, and data appeared strategically. "As you can see, if you tax any one of the four tactical assets more than 25% at a time, the power browns out." More data. He described it all in dead silence.

Now for the interesting part. "Turian and I have developed a number of design changes to remedy the disaster known as the Defiant class." Muttering. "I did the systems and power, Turian did the mechanics and hull." He opened the data pad.

"Please provide a Starfleet Identification."

"Lieutenant Kerryn, Flight Officer First Class and Master Technician, Freighter's Guild." And the world of the Defiant was unlocked for all to see. Kerryn made an aside comment, "I'm afraid my only Starfleet id was rather outdated, but I was very surprised to have needed one, Ambassador." He looked pointedly at Lankov.

The next three hours went through all the modifications and why. No one objected, and Starfleet stood fascinated as the answer to their debacle was revealed to them. At the end of the session, Kerryn closed the data pad and the room returned to normal.

"Ladies and gentlemen, before we break for lunch, I would like the Ambassador to call a vote." Cries and applause filled the room. "The vote however, is to proceed with Defiant with all modifications described in these documents you have just seen, or improvements thereon. Moreover, the Guild appoints Director Turian of Turian Shipworks as overseer and the stakeholder to evaluate the acceptance tests should the vote pass." Kerryn refused to look at Turian. "For the Guild to support this effort, the vote must pass and Starfleet must agree to abide by the decision." Kerryn lifted up the emblem, and the Director's Proxy was visible to all. "As you can see, I have the authority to do so. What say you, Ambassador?"

The ambassador stood, a smile on his face. He turned to the screen. "Starfleet, what is your position?"

They stood. They cheered, they clapped and the link rang with applause. When it died down, each side gave the Ambassador approval to go forward. Kerryn stepped down, the vote was taken, and it was obvious that the plan had passed to go forward. The room and the links cheered again, and then everyone broke for lunch.

Kerryn sat in a chair. This would count as a success for the Guild. "Zink, get over here." Everyone was congratulating themselves on a successful outcome. Politics. It made him sick.

"Yes, Director?"

He took off the badge. "No more. I've had it." He put his head in his hands, and Zink was at a total loss. The room was empty now. The links were shut down. It was just the two of them. Zink could see that Kerryn was shaking. He had to pull him out of this.

"Did you see Turian's face? He was alternating from happiness to chagrin!"

"It will put his shipworks back on the map, that's for sure." He handed the data pad to Zink. "It's all there. More than I gave you before. Design notes, rationale, formulae I used, and all the raw test data. A classified file too, that outlines the basic requirements for an interface to a cloaking device. Password is `debacle.'"

Zink stared. "Are you going to stop giving me heart-attacks soon?"

Very soon, thought Kerryn. He nodded. "Go eat. I can't. I just want to sit here for a while, alone."

"You're going to bolt, aren't you?"

Kerryn looked up thoughtfully. "Do you want the honest answer, or the one I need to give you?"

Zink sighed. "This wasn't supposed to happen. It's great that it did, but this was supposed to be a step in getting you involved in the Guild more. Instead you kill yourself, pull off a miracle and then are going to crawl back under a rock."

"Asteroid, not rock."

Zink went over and hugged Kerryn, who stiffened and then melted into it. Zink was from Palos Verde; he knew about cargo. They didn't kiss, just a close, long hug. But when they separated, Kerryn's eyes were misty.

"I'm gonna miss you, Zink."

"I'm sure we'll see each other." He grinned. "Maybe sooner than you think when they find that you have left. Someone will be sent to retrieve you."

Kerryn grinned. "Hey, there's a reason I know so much about cloaking devices." And he winked at Zink one more time in that upper-hand way.

"Shit." They shook hands. "Be well, Kerryn."

"You too. Say hi to Tanya for me, and if you want, tell her I got further with you."

"HA! See if I don't." And they parted, Zink to lunch, and Kerryn back to Totentanz where he immediately undocked and set Warp Five for Mobius II, the first stop in the Aurigaen Belt. He might be a week early, but somehow the Belt was his refuge from chaos.

Of course, Starfleet had good officers and bad officers. Captain Delario was a good one, and he knew Totentanz from the transport coordinates. Seeing the vessel depart, he had an instinctive reaction.

Comms rang out on Totentanz. "Freighter Totentanz, this is the USS Defiant."

Kerryn sighed. "Defiant, this is Totentanz, Ship Master Kerryn speaking."

"Captain Delario here. That was some design review."

"Yes, it was. Your point, captain? I'm late to pick up cargo."

Delario laughed. "You don't think they are going to let you go now? I'd get ready for at least a two month stay."

Kerryn shook his head. "Not possible. I've done more than my job. All the notes are quite clear."

Delario looked away, and then back with a pained expression. "I've now orders to make sure you stay at Starbase."

Kerryn nodded. "I know. Therefore, don't feel any guilt trying and failing to pursue me. But ask Master Technician Zink Battan about a classified file he has. Totentanz out."

Tactical showed the Defiant moving after him. Kerryn aimed Totentanz at Earth, and with Defiant behind he sighed, and said, "Know when to walk away, know when to run." And he engaged the cloak, waited thirty seconds, and then put Totentanz through some torturous corkscrew maneuvers before settling at Warp 3.2, aimed at Mobius II.

On board Defiant, the crew stood stunned as the docile freighter shimmered into nothingness ahead of them. They lost him on all scanners, too. Delario grinned to himself, and turned to his Communications officer. "Signal that we have lost him and are unable to hold him." Classified file, indeed.

Kerryn stood in front of a mirror some hours later, looking at himself. Seventeen. Tricked or forced into topping. Redesigning Starfleet's latest, with the head of the most renowned ship builder in the Guild. Director's Proxy. All that, and a one-man cargo mover in remote and wild space. Who am I, Kerryn thought. I am a good engineer. I am a good pilot. I am responsible. When given a task, I do it right. I am gay, but can perform straight too. I am a boonie. Yes, that is it. I am a good, thorough, dedicated boonie. And setting the ship on autopilot, he got his first four hours of sleep in the past fifty eight.

Four months of wild space, darting among the different colonies. This time, however it was not the dance of death, but the dance of life. Kerryn had been revitalized. Familiar friends, familiar stops, and he now enjoyed that particular style of music they had out on the Belt. Earth-style jazz was always popular, but out on the Belt they had a slight variant that gave it almost a Renaissance style. It was music one could dance to, but one would have to dance very slow and measured for it. Excellent for listening, and Kerryn found it went very well with bourbon.

It was at Erzahler VI that they caught up with him. A Guild ship, with Zink and Turian onboard, had been sent after long searches in the Belt. He had been unlucky that way, as his route was always the same and after Posaune it was always Erzahler VI. Apparently he had been tracked to Posaune, and then they guessed at Erzahler. And so, with cargo of electronics and systems, Kerryn arrived, unloaded, and then docked. Heading for the FQ bar, his skin began to prickle as he recognized the back of Zink's head. Terrific, he thought wryly. But it did amuse him that he knew the back of that head so well from his topping experience more than anything else.

They might not recognize him. He was wearing merchant clothing, hooded as usual. He really wanted to hear the band tonight. So he slid into a table at the back, and asked for his bourbons. Three. They were served, and he leaned back to listen.

The bourbon gave him away. Zink had asked the server to point out anyone ordering bourbon, and of course he pointed at a cloaked and hooded figure at a table in the corner. Zink stared at him, and the burning eyes under the hood stared back, and then with surrender the arm came up and waved him over as Kerryn pulled back his hood and revealed himself.

"Zink, Turian, please have a seat. Fancy meeting you here."

Zink laughed. "Have you any idea how hard you are to track down?"

"Some. The Belt is not for the simple."

Turian smiled. "Your little demonstration of the cloaking device there gave Starfleet apoplexy."

"Yes, well, there is that." Kerryn leaned forward. "OK, so what are you after?"

"Your opinion on some additional mods. Mostly in the power systems, and in reaction to that classified document you left us."

Kerryn leaned back. "After the band is done. I'm here for the music."

Turian's eyebrows rose, and Zink rolled his eyes. "Don't you give a damn about anything?"

Kerryn nodded. "I've cargo to deliver to a civilization. I've a ship to keep running and accounts to keep solvent. Starfleet can fuck itself for all I care."

Turian and Zink looked at each other gravely. "OK. That's not like you. But that is one of the reasons that we are here too. The Director would like to know what your link to Starfleet is."

Kerryn chilled. "Really? How curious. Why?"

Turian shrugged. Zink looked at him warily. "Why is discussing it a problem?"

"It's very personal, in a way. I've spent a long time trying to forget Starfleet."

"What did they do to you? C'mon, Kerryn, you can tell us. It will just be between you, Turian, me, and the Director. I've got to tell him."

Kerryn was stonily silent. Zink shrugged, and said, "Well, I'll just ask someone else."

"They're all dead." Kerryn's voice echoed strangely. "The only people who knew were killed in Rana 7."

Zink had done his homework. He had heard the ID declaration, and that was during his period in Flight School. Suddenly, it clicked. "You applied to Starfleet Academy, didn't you?"

With a long sigh, Kerryn shook his head. "Not exactly. I applied to Starfleet Academy, but with the goal of testing out of the basics."

"That explains a lot. How old were you?"

"Fourteen."

Turian asked the big question. "Did you get in?"

And then Kerryn laughed bitterly. "That's the problem. I don't know. I was too young, it's true, but I know I passed every exam except one. I can't believe they would fail me all because of one. But I haven't heard anything from them at all since leaving Earth almost three years ago."

The three were silent as the music seeped into Kerryn, easing him into raw emotional oblivion. Not a word was said for the next hour. Turian was thoughtful, and the music was OK. Zink kept staring at Kerryn, and Kerryn kept watching the band, although every time the doors opened he would cast a wary glance towards them. His approval was what they wanted. Whatever. But his curiosity began to build.

When the band was over, Kerryn lead them quickly out of the FQ bar. "Don't ever hang around after the band when you are this far out. There's guaranteed to be a brawl within minutes." And sure enough, a crash and shouting was heard emanating from the formerly peaceful haven.

They went onto the shuttle, and Kerryn had to stop before getting on. "You aren't going to abduct me, are you?"

Jeez, thought Zink, is this what it is like out here? "No, asshole. We just want to borrow you. We won't leave the station."

They went onboard, and went over the changes. Defiant was a new ship now, and Kerryn reworked all the modifications for the cloaking device. It was obvious that Starfleet had followed his directions, but had no idea why. With the new systems, he saved them considerable complexity, and was confident that if they ever got one that it would work well.

After six hours, they all sat back. Turian, again, was impressed. "Kerryn, you've got a remarkable knowledge of both Starfleet and Romulan systems. Where did the Romulan come from?"

Kerryn grinned wearily. "Totentanz. It uses a singularity- driven five by two pulsed warp core according to Romulan designs and standards. I've maintained that drive now myself for more than ten years."

"You then are entirely self-sufficient. A one-man everything."

"We call ourselves boonies." And that made Turian snort.

"Well, whatever. Starfleet is in your debt." And then Zink grinned. "Boonie or no, you have been made a permanent Delegate of the Freighter Guild. And I will make sure the Director doesn't discuss your Starfleet experience with anyone. But it was damn lucky you had that id and communicator."

They stood for a moment, not quite ready to separate, but Kerryn gave in first. "Look, if you need more advice or consulting, or just want to talk, it's OK. I am hard to find, but only when in the Belt because subspace is patchy."

They nodded. "Thanks, Kerryn." And they left him, and he went back to his ship, undocked, loaded his cargo, and was off and away from Erzahler VI.

By the time the Belt was done this pass, he had turned eighteen. Again, celebrated in silence, with one bourbon at a bar at Koppel IV. The same bar where Doryn, his father and he had discussed what they would do if the Guild was threatened. Kerryn realized that he continued to make a difference, both for the Guild and for the millions of people who relied on him in the Aurigaen Belt. He was a single point failure, he realized. If he somehow failed them, there would be no one left to pick up the route.

Kerryn voiced his concern to the Guild regional manager in that area, and three months later Kerryn found himself rewarded by being given a fleet of six ships, each with captains, who were to learn the route from him. Damn the Guild, he thought wryly. Try to help, and they task you double. Or six-fold, this time. So he led them all through the torturous colonies, the hazards, and in each one they all would gather in the bar, have a few drinks, polish the arrival route and outline the departure route. Most of the other ships were less graceful than Totentanz, but they would get the job done.

Respect grew for this young, quiet and wild-looking boonie Ship Master. When he wasn't in the Belt, and wasn't with cargo he ran several reconnaissance missions with his ship, using the cloaking device and his wily experience. Turian and Zink visited him twice more, and the last time told him that Defiant was working well but would be given to Deep Space Nine since that was where the principal risk was.

He loved space. He loved the freedom, the independence. He loved being able to satisfy the needs of his customers. His ship hummed perfectly, and it was during his annual inspection that a spark of ambition reawakened in his heart.

He was standing there with the lead inspector, who had as usual just passed Totentanz with flying colors. The inspector had grinned, nodded, and given the pad over for Kerryn to approve. He did, and the inspector was about to tuck it away when the signature pricked his interest.

"Ship Master still? With all the kind of work you've been given, I'd have expected Commander by now."

Kerryn had laughed politely. "Commander needs a crew. I'm still a bit of a one man show."

"Commander needs to demonstrate use of a crew, not have one all the time."

Kerryn had looked at him squarely. "Do you really think a one-man guy like me could be a CDR?"

The inspector carefully phrased his answer. "It's the next step. You tell me once you've thought about it."

Kerryn thought it over. He got the paperwork, saw he was overqualified in most areas except crew, although he might squeak by on his Flight School scores. No, do it right. Get a crew member, even only one, and put him through the process.

Kerryn turned nineteen, again while in the Belt, this time at Dulzian IV. Rana 7 was now back in business, and for the first time since the battle he made port there. Rather than build new, they had reconstructed the old starbase, and it looked it. Kerryn vowed then if he ever had to rebuild something on that scale, do it from scratch and do it the right way. And from Rana 7, he was on to Starbase 277.

On his way to Starbase 277, the Navigation Computer bit the dust. It was one of the oldest parts of the Totentanz, and it had just exceeded a hundred lifetimes. Kerryn could navigate this route manually, and did so. Sharing the Belt routes had cut into his finances, and the Nav computer would likely be expensive. What was worse was that Starbase 277 had signaled that it had no docking room, and so his cargo exchange had been set to Starbase 290. It would be more expensive, but he could get from 290 to Mobius II without a problem on manual. And so he unloaded cargo at Starbase 290, docked, and again Totentanz let him down. It blew an evaporator in the life support system, and he would have to get one from Salvage. Of course, they only had new ones, and so that set him back more on the Nav computer. And what's more, the FQ bar was closed for repairs. Damn. Grrrrr.

And so it was, slightly grumpy and feeling just a bit like his ship was out to get him, he went to the mainline bar. The music was OK and while the band was one he liked, he was too late to hear them live, so instead he just caught up on the route news as always. His routes stretched before him, a long path of familiarity and Guild stability. Confident, secure, although a little financially challenged right now, Ship Master Kerryn of the Totentanz knew who he was, and was satisfied that way. It was the start of a Legacy, in a way, handed from his father to him. Someday he would pass it on as his own legacy.

He had no idea what would take place as the doors opened to admit the Starfleet officers and ensign that would destroy and re-create his entire existence.

Kerryn released Jacen. So many things he had forgotten, so many details. He had never seen Defiant on Deep Space Nine. He hadn't seen Turian or Zink in years. Again, he was outside the mainstream of the Guild although on some very important routes, but they were all small ships. He didn't get the supercargos like Tiny Tim, or the big battle ships like Invincible. And he missed his little Turian Zephyr. But it had been destroyed in the attack on Starbase 27.

Jacen stirred against him. Naked, still. He was seventeen. Maybe that was what had started this; the memory that now he was in Zink's role in a way, and Jacen was in his own experience. Certainly Jacen had topped him well tonight. But now his lover knew his whole history.

Eyes sought his, and they were filled with wonder and awe. Damn, Kerryn thought. It's only me. And he tried to dispel that wonder with a quirk of his eyebrows. "It's only me, Jacen. All of that before still is only me."

Wonder melted to love. Deep love. And Jacen replied, slowly, "And I am so very glad of that."

Author's Notes.

All the feedback I got was in favor of a prequel. So, here it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Inspiration for some of this matter came from the story of Defiant from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Much inspiration for the Flight School came from Orson Scott Card's fabulous book, "Ender's Game." The name Totentanz was derived from the German, with interpretation, from the Marienkirche organ (Kroger, 1622) in Lubeck, Germany, which was referred to by that name with the English translation, "Dance of Death."

Best regards,

The Journeyman Harper journeymanharper@yahoo.com