Desperate Measures

Disclaimer: Hey, thanks to all who have emailed me last time. Sorry it took so long for the 2nd installment of Desperate Measures. Anyone who has any comments, please feel free to email me at ngclle@yahoo.com

The alarm went off like a siren as I woke up this morning. I cussed. Where did I get that ancient thing? It's like it's out to seek revenge or something. Well, I got up and out of bed and from habit, went to the mirror to sort of admire myself once again. I didn't know how I became so vain, but I couldn't help myself.

Just when I was about to head into the shower, the phone rang mercilessly. At first, I pondered just disappointing my caller, but after a few rings, I decided to answer it.

"Hello?" I greeted, trying not to sound too miserable.

"Ummm, hey," a pretty warm voice called.

Oh no, I thought. One of those leeches of a boyfriend again. I was sort of expecting Nick, although I don't know why. After his reaction yesterday, I should have known better than to think that he would call me. I put on my most emotionless voice. "Excuse me, I don't know you so please don't try to harass me again." Before my caller-boyfriend was able to reply, I hung up the phone. I had work to do. I needed time to devise my plans.

I smiled wickedly to myself. Nick must have blown off some steam by now. Besides, he's young. Kids these days have pretty poor memory. Plus, they don't hold on to grudges for long. And since I've known Nick for so long, I'm not too worried. He hasn't held onto a grudge for more than 2 days.

I jumped in the tub and took a quick bath. Besides, I had to smell good for day number one of my conquest attempt. Plus, the bath will keep me awake enough to make wittier remarks in front of my beau. I had to laugh at myself. Of all people, I never would have thought that one day, I would court Nick. Maybe because he was always the one that they called the 'virgin' in our group. Well, not anymore, I thought to myself amusedly.

And as for me, I usually go for the ones who are more 'experienced' in such matters. I hate walking babies through the ritual. Yet oddly, there was something exotic and enticing about Nick's untampered body. I guess I found it exhilarating because 'I' was the first for him, kind of like eating fresh bread rather than day old stale bread. Still, I usually prefer well-practiced men. But then again, why did I find him so teasingly fun to be with? Was it really his youthfulness or the innocence, or was there actually something more? And why am I thinking about this anyways?

Finally, I got dressed. Today, we had an interview with a local radio station. We were all required to attend regardless of our condition so I knew to expect him there. I tried to walk myself through the interview. It sometimes helps me calm down before the actual interview so that I don't stumble. 'Just go with the flow, Kev,' I said to myself.

We were to meet again for breakfast that morning and then go to the radio station as a group. As usual, I was the first person in the room waiting for the rest to come. Like yesterday, I was waiting for one person in particular. Strangely, I lacked the nervousness today. Rather, I felt free and loose.

"What's up, cuz?" I heard Brian's angelic voice.

"Can you be any less predictable, Bri?" I greeted with boredom.

"All right, you tell me how I should greet you after I've exhausted every greeting in the past few years!" Brian demanded vehemently.

I laughed. "Oh come on, cuz, I was just pointing out a little detail."

Brian laughed as well. "Butthead."

"Sleezeball's more like it," I suddenly heard AJ's pompous voice call from behind the door.

"And good morning to you, Mr. Sunshine," I called out to AJ.

AJ gave me the death stare. "Well, you'd better be nice to me. Some of your lovers are getting a hold of my cell phone number and if you continue to be so utterly mean, I'm going to point them to you!"

I backed off immediately. The other Boys knew of my numerous affairs and seemed to have found blackmailing me pretty amusing. "All right, you win."

"The problem is," Howie suddenly walked in the room, continuing our conversation, " Kevin, that you need a more permanent relationship. Otherwise, these men will always continue to harass you like that. You want me to hook you up with someone really special?"

I rolled my eyes at Howie's suggestion. "No!"

"Oh, come on, don't be so teenage-like. I know the perfect man for you," Howie continued to impose himself on me.

"As a matter of fact, I have my eyes set on one person already, and I think that he's my endpoint. He's the one. I can feel it," I said proudly.

This got the other three excited. "Who?" Brian asked, eager to know.

"Yeah, who?" AJ added. "Ya know, we always wondered what kind of a man would make you settled enough to stop all these romantic charades of yours."

"Besides, I pity the man you choose. He'll have to put up with your endless affairs, sit at home and wait for you while you go out with other men." Howie shook his head. "This man must be pretty generous!"

I smiled smugly. "You'll see."

Now the three of them were really curious. I love making people squirm like those three at this moment. I was about to add to my statement when suddenly, 'he' walked into the room.

Before I knew it, I began to stare, breathless. Why was this happening? I couldn't help it, though. I looked at him intently. He was wearing a tight chest hugging sleeveless black T-shirt and jeans that outlined the rest of his body beautifully.

I suddenly felt an elbow jabbing my sides. I turned to see Brian with this strange look on his face. Then, 'his' footsteps drew my attention back to him.

"Hey Nick, see if you can get Kevin here to tell us the name of his new crush!" AJ had to cry out.

I quickly looked to Nick, quite shocked that there was a slight smile on his face, as if nothing had happened between us. He looked at me intently. His eyes were big and pretty hypnotizing. And then, once again, Brian nudged me. I turned around to give Brian my death stare. He smirked at me and then looked back to his bowl of cereal.

Nick sat down, ignoring Howie's remark. He began to grab a bowl of cereal and ate.

"Yo Nick, what's up?" Howie greeted in a strange, cautious voice.

I turned to Howie, wondering why in the world he sounded so strange. Howie looked at me suspiciously. For a few seconds, the four of us, excluding Nick, just exchanged stares.

I then turned to look at Nick and before I knew it, I began to stare again. Damn! Be slick, Kevin. You don't attract people by staring at them like a hungry wolf. "Morning, Nick," I said in my deepest, most alluring voice.

"Umm, Kev, do you have a sore throat?" Brian asked me with another of his damn smirks, totally ruining the mood I was trying to create with Nick.

"No."

"Well then, you sound like you got something in your throat," AJ laughed. I glared at AJ and Brian. How could they be so inconsiderate?

Next thing I knew, Nick was smiling. I swore, I saw the corners of his mouth tilt slightly upwards. But what was that all about? Didn't he look so disgusted yesterday? What was he doing? Was this some sort of a mind game?

But I'm cool with it. I usually don't let things like that bother me. It just kind of set me off.

"Buttheads," I muttered, more to myself than to them.

"Hey, I thought we already gone through this!" Howie decided to join in. I rolled my eyes.

I did notice that Nick had not really said anything since he entered the room. I looked at him. He was now gazing at his cereal. That was when I saw the enormous amount of will it took for him to act like he's okay in front of us. He was pretending. His eyes were trying to hold back his hurt.

This only fueled my anger a little more. Why did he make it seem like the end of the world? Calm down! I had to think clearly. Showing my anger would only repel him. I had to be suave about all this. Besides, I'm the man. He's the boy.

I reached over and grabbed his hand in a sudden burst of boldness. As expected, he didn't pull back. He couldn't pull back lest he risk the suspicions of the other Boys. I smiled triumphantly.

"Are you still sick from yesterday, Nick?" I asked sweetly. Sometimes, the sweetness in my voice just makes me want to vomit.

Before I could say anymore, he yanked his hand from me. "No," he replied. G-d, his voice was so gentle. Now how could such a gentle thing still be mad at me?

Before I had the chance to stop him, he stood up. "We should get going, or we'll be late." He quickly left the room. I sighed. That was when I noticed that AJ's, Howie's and Brian's eyes were on me.

"Okay, okay. Let's get this straight. Is that person we were talking about--the one you're setting your eyes on--is he Nick?" Brian asked, flabbergasted.

AJ and Howie were tapping their fingers on the table expectantly.

"What if he is? What if he isn't?" I replied teasingly.

Brian suddenly looked like he was hit by a torpedo. "Nick's very naive, Kevin. He's young. I mean, I know he's very attractive and all, but . . . you shouldn't do this. His heart would be broken if he knew you're only playing with him."

I felt the anger rising. "What are you trying to say? That I'm some beast whose sole task is to chew out Nick's heart? I'm sorry about being descriptive, but I think you'd prefer that analogy over my endless cussing." I gave all three of them my death stare.

"So you're saying yes, it is Nick?" Howie continued to pry.

I sat back, regaining my calm once again. I laughed at them. "You know, originally, I wasn't considering Nick, but now that you just challenged me, I think I will." I smiled contentedly. I loved making them squirm in guilt.

"This is not something to joke about!" Brian glared at me.

I looked at him less vehemently than before. "And it's not something to talk about over breakfast," I said as I headed out the room. The limo as well as Nick was waiting for us downstairs.

If there ever were a time when I felt the tension in the room was overbearing, it was now. The radio show didn't go too well. During commercial breaks, we were throwing sarcastic remarks at each other. That is, all of us, except for Nick.

He sat in the room, quiet as a mouse. When the interview was done, we bursted out of the room as if we were escaping the plague.

One thing about the streets of New York is that drivers could care less about hitting pedestrians. I was close on Nick's heels when he tried to make it across the street.

We had barely made it two feet into the street, and mind you we were not jaywalking, when a car honked at us. My first impulse was to grab Nick and haul him back on the sidewalk. As I reached out to grab him, I realized that someone else had yanked him back onto the sidewalk already.

All right. Keep your cool, Kevin. It's only day number one. Suave. Men will be at your feet if you're suave, I kept on telling myself. I took a deep breath and turned around to stare down the person who had been one step ahead of me in rescuing Nick.

When I did finally turn to Nick's disgusting rescuer, I gaped.

"Well, hello there," the dark-haired, exceedingly good-looking man said to me in a very irritating, ridiculing voice. I didn't fail to notice as his hand still clung to Nick's arm. He winked at me teasingly.

I rolled my eyes. "Hello, Michael," I said evenly, the emotion lacking from my voice.

"Well well, what have we here? Kid, you should be more careful," Michael focused his attention back to Nick. Then he leaned forward. "You could have been killed."

Nick looked at the man strangely. I knew that he was wondering what in the world I had to do with this man. Then, sweet little Nick, as always, thanked the guy and started to walk off. I noticed as Michael slipped something in Nick's pocket without Nick knowing it and smiled that disgusting smile of his. With that, he loosened his grasp on Nick's arm and Nick left without even giving me a second glance.

I sighed. He still was upset. This was going to be harder than I thought. But I wasn't going to give up. He was the wild horse that I'm going to tame, and nothing's going to veer me from getting to my goal. I stared at him as he walked away.

Besides, how far could he get? We were in the same hotel. He could run away as much as he wanted to, but at the end of the day, we'd still be sleeping across from each other. I laughed.

"What's so funny, Kev?"

My laugh died as soon as it left my mouth as I realized that Michael was still there. I turned around. Geez, did he look a little more handsome than before? Could that be possible? Or was it the lighting in the streets?

I smirked at him and began to walk away. "Nothing."

"Come on, Kevin. What's the big rush? Would you like to spend some time with one of your new nutritionist?" he said in a taunting voice.

I had to stop. I turned around in shock, speechless.

Michael again laughed disgustingly, even though his looks were hard to resist. "Or should I say Nick's new nutritionist," he looked at me innocently.

I gritted my teeth. "Let's go visit the that bar over there, shall we?" I said in my slickest voice. But really, deep down inside me, I felt a sea of unsettled anger. I wanted to gash his throat. Lover or no lover, we were over. He wasn't going to cling on to me like a leech.

He laughed. "Thought you'd clear your senses. Come. It's on me."

We sent each other mental stabs as we sat there and stared at each other for the first five minutes. Finally, being as gallant as I could, I began the conversation, "Do not stalk me or you'll be eating turkey in the jailhouse."

"Oh come on, Kev. What's up? It has been quite a while and I just wanted to know how it's going?" Michael laughed.

"I am doing fine," I said absentmindedly.

"Well, yeah. I am too. You know, about what you said last time on the phone? Well, I've thought about it. You're right. I shouldn't be trying to hurt the one that I love. I should move on. Well, I've moved on, so I thought we should celebrate. Cheers," He picked up his glass of beer.

"Cheers," I grumbled.

"I've found a new love," Michael continued.

"Oh? Congratulations." I was getting bored.

"He's the reason I now live," Michael leaned forward.

"Really? How touching." I was ready to go.

"Yep. He's blond. Maybe 6'2" or 6'3". Has amazing blue eyes. Is very very very hypnotizing to look at. Might I say he can sing and dance . . . and play the drums. He has a killer of a body and has just lost his virginity about less than two days ago." Michael smiled at me.

By then, I found the air a bit stifling. I gasped for a few breaths of air.

Michael continued to laugh at my expense. "Sure beats my ex-boyfriend by a super wide gap."

I stared at him evenly ignoring his insult. "What makes you think that you can go for him. These delusions that you speak of will get you nowhere."

Michael looked at me with a smirk. "I'd never thought you would go for a virgin of all people. But I have to compliment you. You chose one hell of a virgin to make out with."

I took out a ten dollar bill and placed it on the counter. With that, I stood up and left. He was challenging me. This was his way at getting back at me, and I can't show him any weakness. So what if I dumped him? What a poor sport! And now, he's trying to foil my plans. Well, I'm not going to let him run the show. He's not that significant. Besides, he's not as attractive as I. There was no way he was going to make Nick fall for him. Plus, I smiled, Nick didn't look too pleased bumping into him. Maybe, just maybe, I can use him to push Nick my way.

'Scumball', I thought contentedly as I walked back to our hotel.

As expected, Nick was back at the hotel. He was never the wild one. He hated going out in public. I wouldn't blame him. Everytime he was recognized, he always came back shirtless. I'm pretty sure many people wouldn't mind, but he's so modest. If I were him, I'd perform with just my shorts on, then our concert would sell even faster.

I quietly knocked on his door. "Just a minute," I heard him saying from the other side. I had to smile. He sounded like he recovered. At least he wasn't inside, crying his poor little eyes out.

He opened the door. Sheesh, he has so much trust in people. He didn't try asking who I was. He just opened the door like that. When he saw me, his eyes showed some fear. I could sense it. But the good thing was that he wasn't as overly dramatic as the past two days.

"Hi," I greeted warmly.

"Hi," he answered unsure of why I was there.

"I brought you this," I held out a box of chocolates.

He looked at me as if I were crazy.

"Nothing special. I saw it as I passed a candy store. It looks really good. Thought you might like it," I smiled sheepishly. I knew he liked it that way. He doesn't like people who are too suave.

I'm pretty sure at that moment, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I smiled again, remaining silent. Moments like these give him the opportunity to reflect. I could sense his indecisiveness as he was trying to figure out what to do with me. I didn't leave. I waited there patiently. Then, just then, he did the funniest thing. He botched his eyes with an expression that seemed to say 'leave or I'll kill you.' I smiled at him patiently.

Unexpectedly, he turned around and walked back into the room, leaving the door open. I guess that was his way of saying that I could come in. I stepped into his room, awed by the messiness of it all. I don't think I've ever seen anything worse. Finally, spotting a clean spot on his bed, I sat down.

Nick pulled up a chair and sat about ten feet away from me. "Thanks, I guess." His voice was, again, amazingly gentle, especially considering how upset he was.

"I guess?" I lifted an eyebrow. "You don't have to look at me like I brought you some poison there Nick. Plus, am I radiating with bad vibes here? Why are you sitting a mile away from me?"

Had the place not been so tense, I bet he would have laughed at that statement. I looked at his face. There was no hint of humor on it. "Um, yeah, well. I guess I'm just saying that I want to make peace with you."

Nick looked down at his feet. Then he did something that made me want to dig a hole and bury myself. He began to cry. The tears came one by one and very soon, his face was flooded with painful tears. I panicked. I had never been confronted with this . . ummm . . . behavior before. I walked up and didn't know whether I was supposed to put my arm around him or not, or whether I should say something that sounded sympathetic.

"Ummmm . . . crying is good . . . ummm." My power of communication had betrayed me. I did not know what to say. I swallowed a few words, but in the end I found nothing intelligible to say. Calm down, Kev. What would your mother do? I slowly kneeled down so that I was face to face with him. Maybe Brian was right. Maybe the age difference is not helping this relationship. He's so young and innocent. Nonsense. I've got to be the strong one. I've got to lead him.

I held out my hand to brush away the few tears that I could. Soon, both of my hands were wet with his tears. "Calm down, Nick. I'm not gonna hurt you. You're gonna be okay. I promise you." I whispered those words over and over.

I looked into those blue eyes and felt this intense fear. What was it about him that made me so scared at that moment? We locked our gazes for a few minutes before I noticed that he had stopped crying.

Then, as calm as I've ever seen him, he asked me one question. "Why did you do it, Kevin?" The way he spoke gave me no opportunity to avoid his question. He used his eyes to force me to succumb to him.

I felt myself burning with a mixture of feelings which I was too confused to sort out. That was when I felt myself at one with my soul. Suddenly, his face became darker, as if a dark shadow was casted over it. He no longer looked innocent, but rather like a human body with the soul of a devil out to avenge me or something. I grabbed his shoulders and shoved him back violently, feeling the fury rise within me.

Those teasing blue eyes were sharper than ever. I stared back at him. "And why the f--- do you care?" I replied with belligerence.

At that moment, I saw that I had driven the knife into his heart. The tears that had dried began to trickle down his face again, but they were tears of anger, not sadness. He jumped out of his seat and walked to the door. "Get out!" he cried out to me, but I did not budge.

"I said get out of here!" he wavered once again. Still, I didn't budge. I simply glared at him as he kept on pointing to the exit.

"You don't need to teach me where the exit is. I'm no child. And I don't need a child to point anything out to me!" I said defiantly. "What do you know? Even if I explain to you, your petty little mind wouldn't be able to handle it." I slowly inched my way towards Nick. "But if you want to know, I'll tell you." I didn't know why, all of a sudden, I felt this intense fire. I guess I was getting so emotional because he was so direct. He didn't try to avoid the issue. And I felt like I was flayed in front of him. Worse, I couldn't do anything to hide myself. Or maybe, anger was the shield I used to protect myself.

Either way, I was starting to regret my attitude. But I couldn't help it. It was like I was riding a wave and I couldn't get off. I never thought I could be that harsh to anyone.

I clenched my teeth. "It's because I was sick of your innocence crap. You know, every time I look at you, you make me sick. Do you honestly think that your soul is as beautiful as your body? I mean, just look at the way you act. What would I have given to wipe that smile off your sorry face."

I didn't notice then, but his face lost all of its rosiness. He had remained silent for the longest time. Those soft delicate hands that never knew about hard work were trembling.

But I didn't know why? I didn't know what had possessed me at that moment? I continued on ranting like a madman. "You pathetic idiot. Do you think you're so wonderful and that I did it because you were attractive? Well let me tell you that of all the men I've been with, you're the most unsatisfying thing I have laid my hands on. You get it?"

Oh G-d. What was I doing? Didn't I come in here with the resolve to make peace? What was all that effort finding the chocolate for? Was this some sort of subconscious thing because I didn't go in here with the intention of this happening.

I put my hand to my forehead, trying to sort through what I had just done. "Look Nick, I . . . " I looked up, but he was gone.

Oh, f---. What did I do? I pounded my fists against the wall, hoping to relieve some tension, but I couldn't. Something was wrong.

I sat there and waited--waited for Nick to come back. But one hour passed. Then two hours. Then four hours. Then night came. Tiredly, I laid down on his bed, pulling his blankets over me. Finally, I fell asleep.

But as I slept, I only became more disturbed. I saw images of him, but they were strange. We were chasing each other in my dream. It was surreal because there was no ground beneath our feet. Rather, we were floating. And then, I saw myself burst into a ball of flames and I flung myself at him so that he could become charred. He ran like I never saw him run before. Finally, I crashed into him, but he didn't burst into flames like me. He remained intact, but he kept crying in pain. He begged for me to forgive him, to let him go. But I didn't. I clung to him for my life, willing the flames to burn him up.

Then, I woke up. I found myself sweaty and panting. I immediately turned to read the clock. 3:00 a.m. What was going on? Where was he? In what corner of the city was he in now? I needed to talk to him desperately.

I jumped from my bed as I heard the thunder rumbling outside. Quickly, I ran out of his room to mine to grab my jacket. Then I ran out into the night. I had to find him.

Well, that was chapter 2. Hoped you all liked it. What happened to Nick? What will Kevin find out? And what is Michael's ulterior motive in joining the Bboys?

Please, please send me email and let me know what you think! ngclle@yahoo.com

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