Desolation

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I reserve all rights to this original fiction story. It may not be reproduced, or published without my written consent.I wish to thank Miguel Sanchez and Clark for their work editing and inproving this story. I hope you enjoy it and would appreciate any comments or suggestions from you. Write me at

fireflywatcher@gmail.com.

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Thanks for reading!

Phil Ford

DESOLATION

by fireflywatcher- Phil Ford

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Tim and Laura rose early. Their late night had ended in peaceful sleep, in each others arms. Patti would be worrying if Laura didn't arrive soon, so Laura hurried out the door even before coffee was made. If just for appearance sake she had to arrive before anyone else came. Patti was already in the kitchen making preparations, so Laura showered and dressed quickly to join her. Just as she sat down with a cup of coffee the first knock on the door began. There was Johnny Mac with a wicked smile on his face asking if there was anything he could do to help.

Tim loaded the fryer in his truck and added the coolers of fish he had thawed out the night before. It was a good thing his refrigerator was always empty. Laura told him the guest list had grown, so enough fish was thawed to feed a lot of people. His first stop was Dan's house. He walked on in and found Dan spooned up to Brian, still asleep in the big bed. "Looks like you boys got a little frisky last night" Tim said as he shook the bed. Dan raised his arm off Brian's chest as they both looked at each other, surprised to find themselves sleeping together. As they got out of bed, both naked with morning boners, Tim said, "It looks like you had some fun, too." Brian was red as a beet, and both began explaining at the same time so quickly Tim didn't catch a single word.

When the explanations were all said, Tim still had his doubts. Brian threw on his shorts and rushed home to change and clean up for the party. Tim just sat there with a shit eating grin as Dan drank his morning coffee. "I know you'll never believe it, but nothing happened between me and Brian" he said trying to convince Tim of the truth, but his words fell on deaf ears, so he returned the grin. The whiskey bottle by the couch and the smell of it added fuel to the fire. Brain and Dan both reeked of whiskey. The razzing continued as Dan showered and dressed. Brian's absence at home wasn't noticed because his bed had been turned down before he snuck out the night before. His parents thought he left the house early and were gone to church when he came in. Only Tim knew anything different.

They dropped Brian off to walk his date down the street to the party and showed up before many others made it. Gradually everyone arrived. Everyone was paired up except the three guys; Dan, Johnny Mac, and Bob. This was a new experience for Bob, brought on by Snow's death and Maria's insistence that he come along. He only casually knew Tim, and had known Maria, Sally, and Charlie all his life. The sight of Patti's little dog broke the ice and Bob began to open up and join in the conversation. He talked about his ranch, leaving everyone wondering why they had never seen him around town. Bob wasn't invisible anymore.

Maria noticed a big change in Bob. The few beers he wasn't used to drinking might have played a part, but his eyes were shining bright and the tone of his voice was full of laughter. From anguish and pain only hours ago, he had come full circle. He was no longer the geek he'd been in high school and his self confidence from working on his ranch, along with the great physique he'd developed brought forth a new person reborn from an older form like the caterpillar emerging from the cocoon as a beautiful butterfly.

Finally everyone had arrived. A group of thirty in a town of four hundred was quite a gathering. The older men made one group, the younger guys another, the teens all grouped in a bunch and most of the women together. Brian helped Tim, Dan, Johnny Mac, and Bob fry the fish. Everything else was lined up on the table ready to serve up with drinks, beer, and wine coolers in ice chests beside the table. When everyone had eaten and Sally's ice cream was gone the guests began to leave. A trash can consumed most of the mess. Brian left with the other teens heading back to the lake. Laura begged off saying she needed to help Patti put the leftovers away and get some rest. Bob invited the three guys out to his ranch if he could get a ride back to his pickup so that Maria and Charlie could leave. Out of loss and pain come new beginnings.

It was a dusty seven mile ride down the dirt road to Old Charlie's place with Johnny Mac and Bob in the bed eating as little dust as possible and washing down the rest with cold beer from the chest beside them. "Hey Johnny Mac, what kind of work do you do?" asked Bob. The noise from the road left them nearly shouting as they drove along. "I been working up at Charlie's place, but it was just until he was through with me. He paid me good. I blew it all already though." Johnny made it plain he hadn't made any long term plans. "Work is tough to find out here. I tried over in Odessa staying at my brother's house, but I don't fit in over there." He tried to put a spin on his words to say he didn't mind hard work, but had trouble getting along with ornery people who bossed him around too much. All he wanted was to be treated right like he was a person and not some punk there to be their bitching post. There was some electricity between the two, but to Bob it was all the new experience of getting to know someone. How could he compare this to his past?

Inside the cab Dan and Tim were seeking answers about Bob at the same time. "Hell, I've been going out to Bob's for years now. I get a thank you and hand him the ticket, with nothing more said" Tim said relating what he knew. "It looks like a big house and all I've ever seen was him and his dog. I never have seen him in town even once." They were five years older, Johnny was five years younger, and none knew him from school. If they had, he was beyond recognition now having changed drastically as he grew more after graduation.

When they reached Charlie's, Bob's truck was just inside the gate. The two in back jumped out and it was a race to see who got to Bob's first since Tim knew the way. Tim followed his set route but the dirt roads reached Bob's from several directions. Being more familiar since he'd been wandering when he arrived at Charlie's gate, he took off in a different direction. Bob knew the shorter path since most of the ranch land between the two places belonged to him. With his shortcuts he and Johnny were leaning against the tailgate as Tim pulled up to the house.

Trees and bushes hid the true size of the house from easy view. Bob led them around outside first, pointing out his garden, the barns and sheds, bunkhouses off to the back and then a full circle around the house. It made a horseshoe shape with a huge swimming pool and patio filling the center and surrounded by the massive house. Back to the front door again, Bob led them inside for their first look. A living room filled one side off the entry hall with a dining room on the other side. Behind these a den and kitchen followed with two wings of bedrooms down each side. It shone like a jewel as an island of green in the barren desert surrounding it, just as the irrigated fields did, but with the beautiful home as a centerpiece.

The bar was their first stop. It had remained stocked with more added as it came in each weeks order on the truck. It had been too much bother to change the orders since his dad's death and odd as it may seem, his dad tried to be prepared for large parties. No parties happened from the time of his mother's death in the house of gloom, but the stock continued to grow. "I don't know how to make any drinks," Bob said, "but I'm sure you'll find what you like and juices or cokes are in the kitchen, beer is in the fridge below the bar." It was like kids in a candy store. Dan's mouth had been hanging open since they came in. Desolation was mostly a poor town, all this was more than he could imagine. Johnny Mac just took a bottle of Jose Cuervo, Tim fixed bourbon and coke, Dan and Bob continued drinking beer as they had done all day and were content with that. A quick tour of the house revealed six bedrooms on each side, everyone virtually a suite, and the rear bedroom on the southeast side that served as the master suite Bob occupied. It was debatable whether Bob had been abused through neglect or spoiled beyond imagination, but his humility and quiet demeanor diminished the grandeur of the house. It became comfortable.

The time for getting acquainted began with a journey to the pool and they settled into the whirlpool with their drinks and as many questions for Johnny as for Bob. Suits weren't handy and the swirling water afforded the modesty required except for brief trips to refill drinks or grab fresh beers. Music flowed in the background but at a volume that allowed conversation. The surprise was it was rock. The electricity flowed, but without any sexual tension, just four guys enjoying themselves as they passed the time into the early evening having a great end to a long day in the sun.

"Hey Bob, what do you do to pay for this place?" Dan asked, sure that it must take a lot of work just to pay the light bill.

Bob scratched his head, thinking everyone should know about his circumstances, just taking that as a given. "I don't do shit. Everything I do is because I want to do it, nothing more." Following that he said, "I have two hundred head of cattle I raise as breeding stock and get a damn good price for them and I farm some acreage mostly for feed and a few horses to work my stock, but the money isn't added to the operation. I have nearly fifteen thousand acres here and it's just more than I can use for myself."

Alcohol and sun took their toll. The questions and answers got blurred and forgotten. They gradually moved from the water indoors and settled into the comfort of the couches in the den. They dragged Johnny to a bed leaving his Cuervo nearly depleted. He wasn't mean or abusive and his only fault on this occasion was a hard dick as he fell into the bed. Tim was still aware enough to make a joke of Johnny's condition, but he was led into the same room himself. Bob, being unused to drinking more than two beers, followed the others and found his bed empty without Snow there to keep him company. His mood was momentarily black but overcome by drink he soon fell asleep with no cares. Only Dan realized the gravity of the situation. The next morning was a work day, forgotten about until too late to prepare for its arrival.

Dan looked for an alarm clock checking each bedroom throughout the house, but found only the one beside Bob's bed. Setting it, there was little choice remaining, either he could sleep on the floor, in a chair, or crawl in the bed opposite Bob. The bed won hands down and as soon as Dan got comfortable he joined the rest in deep sleep.

Bob woke with a jolt at the screaming sound of the alarm going off beside his head. There was a dull ache behind his eyes and in the dark room he was lost for a moment. It was Snow who always woke him each morning, nuzzling him to go outside, but there was no Snow there this morning and he felt a warm touch near his ankle. He reached toward the warmth and found no furry coat, but smooth skin. Everything was cloudy. There was no Snow and too much had changed in the course of one day. He remembered drinking and knew the ache behind his eyes meant he had too much to drink the night before. Faces filled his thoughts, but names didn't connect to them. The warm touch he felt pulled back and the covers jerked away from him as Dan raised his head, brought to consciousness by the scream of the alarm.

Dan drank more than Bob consumed but felt no ill effects and even so was moving slowly. He knew it was five in the morning and time to get Tim up to face the day.

"Coffee, coffee, do you have any in the kitchen, Bob?" broke the silence as Dan pulled himself up from the bed. It seemed they had all neglected to dress when they got out of the water the night before. He stretched and set his feet on the floor. The slapping sound of feet moving across the Mexican tiles was followed by the splashing of his piss as it hit the water in the toilet nearby. Dan moved through the darkened room with radar accuracy as he navigated in unfamiliar surroundings and stood at the door leading to the hall waiting for a response.

Bob was accustomed to the wet nuzzle of Snow and distantly he remembered Maria's voice or his dad's as he woke in the past. The warm touch, no he had never felt a touch in the dawn, or heard the sounds of morning needs, the splashing of piss other than his own and he shook off the dull pain to rise from the bed. His hands felt the bare skin below his waist, unfamiliar and in his modesty he felt embarrassed while still hidden in the dark. "Coffee, oh yeah, there is plenty in the kitchen and the pot is beside the sink," he answered to the voice, but who spoke the words was a mystery. More sounds of footsteps slapping on the tile fading as they moved away to the kitchen followed his response. He flipped on the bathroom light, relieved himself and swallowed two tablets after filling a glass with water at the sink. He leaned forward over the sink, bracing himself on one elbow. A splash of cool water on his face brought him into focus as he gazed into the mirror. Even his hair, light chestnut brown, hanging in loose curls around his face, seemed to be as it should be, only his eyes showed some redness to hint at his self abuse the previous night. He reached into a drawer and from it pulled on some shorts just because he had company in the house and following the direction the footsteps had gone, he went toward the kitchen. There he found Dan, buck naked leaning against the counter top beside the sink and still half hard even after pissing.

"Sorry man, I've got to find my clothes. The coffee is on." And with that Dan searched the den looking for his pants. First he found Tim's, then Johnny's, and finally his own. The snap on his wranglers popped and added to the noise of dripping coffee followed by a loud yawn. "We were all too far gone to go home last night; thanks for letting us stay, Bob." Then he tilted the pot and filled a cup for himself and another for Bob and replaced the pot as it continued to drip, now adding the sizzling sound of the lost liquid hitting the burner below to the mix, breaking the silence.

Bob took a sip after blowing over the top and then added an ice cube to his cup just like Dan had done. He never could drink coffee as hot as it came from the pot. He only nodded to Dan as he stood there, lost for words either from the early awakening or the unfamiliarity of company. Finally speaking to Dan he said "I never had company before or drank as many beers. I think I can get used to it."

"I've got to wake Tim up, and see if Johnny needs to get up, too." And Dan disappeared back down the hall. He sat beside Tim on the bed and reaching below the covers gave a few strokes to the firmness he found waiting.

"What time is it? Shit my head hurts. I drank too much whiskey again." And with that said Tim rose and leaned back on the head board. "You sure know how to wake a guy up, Dan."

"It's a little after five and there's coffee in the kitchen." Dan knew Tim had to be at work earlier, but with everyone passed out by ten the night before he was sure they were all rested. He wasn't so bold waking Johnny, just shaking his shoulder saying "Get up man, it's five o'clock." Johnny just groaned. With another shake Dan asked "Do you work today Johnny?"

Johnny Mac grabbed Dan by the wrist and wrapping his other arm around Dan's neck pulled him in close. He was still drunk. Tequila was potent and the poison was still in full force as if the night had never passed. "Help me up man, I got to piss and my head is killing me." With Johnny holding on he lifted him and they moved together across the room toward the bath. Johnny Mac stumbled as he walked and his grip on Dan steadied him as they moved. Standing before the toilet Johnny Mac's eyes brightened and a grin came across his face. "You got to hold it for me man, so I don't piss all over the floor, I can't let go to hold it."

With his free hand Dan obliged pointing the hard dick down toward the water. "Let her rip, bud."

Johnny's will was there but it took a while for the message to reach below and finally the stream began to flow. Dan thought a quart must have been spent it took so long for Johnny to finish his business but when the last trickle fell Johnny Ray looked in his eyes and said "We're going to have to get better acquainted bud" as Dan released his grip. Dan just smiled and led him back to the bed. Dan came back a few minutes later, lifted Johnny in his arms and fed him tablets followed by a drink of water, laying him gently back on the pillow.

Faint light was streaming into the windows as Tim searched for his clothes, coffee cup in his hand. Beads of sweat rolled down his chest, not from heat but cleansing the alcohol from his pores. Bob just leaned against the counter sipping slowly from his cup. His eyes scanned the room as light from the windows and from the kitchen played a shadow dance before him. The house had been built angled where the west sun never hit directly on any windows, but the morning sun from the east filled the house with light. The early morning breeze lifted leaves and swirled them around in circles, trapped in the oval patio outside the kitchen. A little pool skimmer scooted and spurted as it made its way around the surface, but the leaves that settled on the water would remain for Bob to remove later. He had put on some bacon and it began to sizzle in the pan grabbing his attention.

"Damn you'd make some guy a great wife" said Tim as he pulled on his pants. "That sure smells good this early in the morning." He pulled on his boots with some difficulty because they fit his feet so snugly. Dan returned then and fell into a chair at the table. Bob smiled but remained silent. Tim was all talk and lively now that the pounding in his head had ceased and the coffee had done it's work. He rolled and popped his shirt at Dan saying, "Thanks for getting me up babe, you're a lifesaver."

Dan just nodded to that but said "I think Johnny Mac will be a while waking up. He's still drunk and kind of frisky this morning." Tim raised his eyebrows but it sailed over Bob's head. Turning to Bob, "I'd better call in and hang here so he's no trouble to you if you'll give us a ride home when he does get up." Bob just nodded to say sure. Only the alcohol had loosened his tongue the previous night, but he began to feel more at ease. Dan and Tim both grabbed a piece of bacon as he took them from the pan. "Got any eggs to go with this, Bob?" Tim asked making himself right at home.

"If you can fix your own, I'll go get more from the chicken house. I usually let the hens set what I don't need." Dan tagged along behind Bob as they went to collect some eggs. It was obvious there was a lot more to this place than they had seen the day before. A paved strip with a wind sock was flanked by a large building, possibly a hangar. One open-sided barn was half full of round bails and sheds with equipment were along one side. Two large barns stood closer to the house, a pig pen and the chicken house off behind them. They passed by a manicured garden, all mulched up and full of veggies as they headed to get the eggs. "I really only know how to cook what Maria taught me as a kid," Bob said as they passed, "but if we need anything from my garden, speak up."

Dan was impressed most by the garden. Just growing anything the grasshoppers didn't destroy was a miracle in Desolation. "I turn the chickens and guineas out every day to keep the bugs down" Bob said as he propped back the door when they went inside. Three hens were sitting and he left them undisturbed but took eggs from other boxes until he had a basket full. Those left he slipped under the setting hens and they returned to the house. Two old guinea hens set eggs up in one corner silently. Some ducks and geese made their way out the door as they left, but the gander nipped at Dan and got him moving out of their way in a hurry. Bob pointed out a smoke house and said "Old Charlie helped me build that. Mesquite is great for smoking meat."

It was obvious to Dan why they had never seen much of Bob. His solitary life was very complete and it filled his time. Dan felt envy and sadness at the same time. He was lonely even with the company he kept, but couldn't fathom living as isolated as Bob. He felt some cruelty had been done to the younger man and other than that found no explanation.

Tim was ready to head out the door when they returned. He knew a trip back here was on his Monday schedule and he would get another chance to talk to Bob, or just leave the receipt in the box on the porch if he found no one at home. He was out the door and throwing up dust down the road with barely a good bye.

The pile of bacon was still substantial. Bob began cooking eggs counting himself, Dan, and Johnny, but over did it forgetting he no longer had Snow to help him finish his eggs. The pills had worked and the smells of breakfast brought Johnny Mac to the kitchen in his naked glory. As he passed the stove, grease popped and got him on the bare butt causing him to jump. He continued on as if he was so at ease in his nakedness among these strangers, they were like his brothers at home. Without bothering to dress he slid into a chair at the table, dishing out his food and taking a cup of coffee handed him by Dan. He inhaled his food and before Bob could think of anything to say, he was dressed and out the door waiting on Bob to take him home. Dan just fell in behind. Other than the usual thanks and "I had a great time" from both guys the ride to Desolation was silent.

Hours later when Tim returned he found him sitting by Snow's grave bawling like a baby. All he could say to Tim was "I've never been alone, I always had Snow." Tim assured him he and Dan would be back in the evening and patted him on the back.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO *

Monday was the usual Monday for Dan. He got to work on time in spite of everything. The boss was in a bad mood, having Dan translate his orders and then changing his mind repeatedly, being angrier at needing it translated than anything else. After giving out instructions to all the others, he put Dan to work doing the most miserable tasks he could think of, mostly as punishment for being able to speak Spanish since he couldn't punish the others for their inability to speak English. When lunchtime rolled around, Dan was so filthy and sore he was glad lunch had been lengthened to an hour due to the heat. He cranked up the truck setting the A/C to max and sped away headed home to eat. There sat Tim on the porch waiting on him to show up. Inside, the house was trashed from Saturday night. He had only stopped on the way to work to change into work clothes. He turned on the water cooler as Tim rummaged through the fridge, bringing back two beers and two meat and bread sandwiches.

"That SOB has you on shit detail again I see," Tim whined to him. "We aught to tie him up and explain how he makes money to him. Give me a straight razor and gelding him should take care of that real nice," Tim was pounding his fist into his open hand as he said it. Changing the subject, he said he wanted to go by Charlie's that evening and find out more about Bob. He told Dan about finding him bawling about the dead dog. "I just can't figure how he's lived out there all these years without knowing anybody. I feel sorry for him like he's lost a little boy." Tim was sure Charlie or Maria had some answers.

The air had cooled down a little inside the house. Dan leaned back and let the air flow hit him full force. Tiny water droplets carried by the flow made mud of the dirt on his face. He lost awareness and drifted as he lay back in the chair. He felt himself falling and jerked up with a start catching Tim in mid-sentence and no idea what he had said. He rose and walked to the kitchen sink rinsing his face repeatedly. His senses returned and the dirt was washed away but all the color was drained from his tanned face until he looked grey and drawn.

Tim just stared at him for a minute. "That SOB is going to kill you Dan and then I'll have to kill him to make it even." It was only the middle of the day and seeing his friend so exhausted from the morning with the heat of the afternoon coming on was more than Tim could bear. At that moment he was afraid he would loose his friend before the day was over. "I'll see you after work bud" was all he could say so he headed out the door before he said something he shouldn't. Sometimes life in Desolation really got to Tim. Jobs didn't pay. The weather was always extreme, mostly dry and hot. Property that took a lifetime to pay off was worthless because there were no buyers lined up if you did decide to sell. The place just drained the life out of you and spit you back when nothing was left.

Tim pulled into the Gas'n'Go for some Copenhagen before going back to work. Sally could see the pain in his eyes but just let it slide. "I had a great time yesterday Tim. You made my summer with that fish fry." She always tried to cheer people up. "You even got Bob to come. You deserve an award."

"What's the story on Bob anyway, Sally?" All day he had been in Tim's thoughts. "Loosing his dog really tore him up."

"He's been a loner all his life. I only see him a couple of times a year and all he ever buys is bait." She thought about it a minute. "His dad almost never came in. He was usually out of town as much as I can remember." After a lifetime in this small town where everybody knew everyone else's business, what was amazing to Sally was Bob's invisibility. "Hell, Bob never even came in after school with all the kids to get a coke. I only know who he is."

Back at the farm supply, Tim took his morning receipts in for Patti. He usually turned them all in at the end of the day. "What do you know about Bob Esterhazy, Patti?"

"Wye not a thing, Tim, the account says Don Esterhazy. I mail a copy to a lawyer in Dallas and a check comes back from The Esterhazy Trust. Sometimes it comes with a letter. The headers say Esterhazy Trust, Esterhazy, Inc. and Esterhazy Ranches. They always pay their bill. Was that the Bob at the fish fry?"

"Yeah, I was just surprised I'd never met him before. Thanks Patti." Tim returned to his schedule. Mondays were usually busier because calls came in over the weekend and more had to be delivered. At the end of the day Tim drove by Charlie's shop first but the closed sign hung on the door. He was sitting on Dan's porch drinking a beer a few minutes later. He'd opened up the house and turned on the water cooler so it would already be cool when Dan got home. Everything from Saturday night was still cluttering up the place so he had taken the trash can around the house and picked up all the cans and bottles. He sat the only glass in the sink and popped open a beer out on the porch. Dog was curled up in the moist dirt near the porch, raised his head and went back to his nap. Where the cooler stood, it slowly dripped a little water each time the valve opened to fill the pan. Between there and the porch, Dog had dug and loosened up the moist earth to cool off through the hot days. He had a wide dog smile as he napped. It was hot outside, but in the shade of the porch Tim felt fine. As he sat there he noticed Johnny Mac as he drove by, giving Tim the token wave just raising his fingers from their grip on the steering wheel. Tim nodded back. In the heat of mid-afternoon no one else was moving around. Suddenly Dog was up running around with his tail wagging; Tim didn't hear anything but there came Dan's truck, sure enough.

Dan gave Dog a pat on the head and took the beer handed him by Tim. He had cooled off some during the short drive home but as soon as he stepped out into the heat beads of sweat again began to run down his face. His walk was shaky as if his legs couldn't carry the load for the distance into the house.

"Oh man, you're ripe like a mix of nasty man sweat, dirt, and cow shit! Go hit the shower bud." Tim didn't mince words but knew the water would cool Dan off faster than sitting in the cool room. When you body core temperature got too high it took water to draw out the heat. Dan's shower was longer than usual. When he came out the color had returned to his face. He was in cut offs with a t-shirt thrown over his shoulder as he took a beer from Tim's hand.

Tim had the evening planned. They didn't rest long before leaving on their quest. With any luck all the questions about Bob would be answered soon.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE *

Bob had calmed himself enough after seeing Tim to tend to his animals and do his chores. The garden yielded some squash, tomatoes, peppers, and cucumbers which he carried into the house. He set out some steaks from the freezer, not knowing how many would be needed but certain any extra would be good for something the next day. He had a sandwich and a coke for lunch tidying up from the night before after eating. He checked the bedrooms and bent down to smell the sheets where Johnny Ray had slept, first. It seemed unlikely he'd have more overnight guests since the three men were the first to stay over in years. He would wash all the sheets later in the week unless it was urgent.

Something drew his attention as he smelled the sheets. He wasn't familiar with the smell of others. He didn't even notice any smells the night before, but the linens held a musky smell, a new sensation. He made up the bed and moved to where Tim had slept and noticed the same sensation but with a distinctly different character. Finally making up his own bed, he found Dan's smell on the side where Snow had slept mixed with the scent of the dog still lingering there. He thought back to his school days and tried to remember if he had the scent of others held in his memory. No, no it just seemed something new, something unnoticed before and he wanted to experience more of this sensation. All he could remember of the smell of a woman was that of Maria's perfume and a faint memory of his mother's perfume with more distinct memories of a sickening smell that hovered around her as she neared her death. Miss Sally had a particular smell that told him she was Sally. Charlie had a smell that was Charlie. Men who had worked on the ranch brought to mind the smells of diesel and oil that must have overpowered anything personal, those same smells remaining there whether they were present or not. Thoughts of his father held no memory of smells at all. They had rarely touched or even shared a meal, and had almost always eaten and spent their days separately when he was at home, which was not often. Bob realized that everyone who had seen him through his invisibility and ventured into his world had a smell held in his memory, but all those others, were the cardboard characters of his life, only there to ignore him or taunt him, and had no smell. He knew that everything he was, except what he had become from his knowing these few people came from within him. He was a good hearted and happy person and had become that way mostly on his own.

Bob returned to sit under the tree beside Snow's grave again. The tears were done with. The grief had subsided. What he did now was just taking more time to say goodbye. It had passed by so quickly from death to grave and his soul needed more time sitting beside his old friend before the loss could be final. He talked to him and laughed about all the good times they had spent together. As he rose and said a last goodbye he walked away smiling knowing Snow was at peace.

Dan and Tim knocked on Charlie's door several times before anyone answered. Charlie came out apologizing saying he'd been napping "You know Maria kind of got me used to a siesta after all these years," he said finally with a little chuckle. She joined them on the porch and they both told all they knew about Bob and his life. "I still see a lonely little boy every time I look at him," Maria added at the last as they were leaving. They didn't know much more now than they knew before they arrived. Bob was a quiet man.

When Dan and Tim drove up at the house a small plane was just lifting off from the runway. Bob carried a couple of boxes and a folder as he walked toward them. Inside the house he opened the boxes—a case of wine in one and a laptop computer in the other. "They don't even call to see if I'm here, they just show up, taking it for granted I will be. It was just more papers from Dad's business I had to sign and these things for being a good boy and doing as they ask." He took two bottles from the case and put them in a bucket of ice. "I really don't care for wine much so I hope you like it." Then he took the steaks out the patio door and put them on the grill. "How do you like your steak?"

All three agreed they liked them medium rare. He set out a salad and baked potatoes, dashed out and turned the steaks, and handed each a beer as he sat down. Today he noticed their smell as remembered from the smell of the sheets. He pulled the cork from one bottle and filled three glasses, dashing out again and returning with the steaks. He'd been moving continually and was finally still. "This was a good steer that was well fed so it better be tender."

"We weren't expecting supper, Bob, but it's damn kind of you to fix it," Tim said smiling and Bob nodded back. Some music was playing that neither Dan nor Tim was familiar with but both liked. Asking the same questions that were asked of Charlie and Maria, Bob began to tell them about his life as they ate. "Mom died when I was six and she was sick a long time before that—cancer. Maria was already taking care of me. Her youngest was fourteen at the time. Truth is, she and Charlie raised me more than Dad. He was years getting over mom's death. He just couldn't deal with me and this place anymore. An old man named Martin Culler ran the ranch and taught me what I needed to know about ranching. Charlie taught me a lot about mechanics. I spent time at Charlie's on weekends a lot when dad wasn't home. Maria stayed here from the time school let out until I went in the morning. Sometime after I was twelve, I stayed by myself at night and she came during the day. She'd take me in the morning and pick me up after school. When I was fourteen she was just the maid again, but kept my meals fixed and took me home a lot on weekends if dad wasn't around. I hated the weekends dad came home. There were only six kids in my grade; each and every one of them was an asshole from hell. I didn't talk to them or play with them, I was just there. When I graduated my grades were the best but with my time in school as it was, college was the last thing I wanted. Then dad died. Hell, he was seventy five then. Three days later the lawyers flew in. The fucking funeral was in Dallas and I didn't even get to go. They said sign these papers. There was more money than I could spend. I just stayed right here like nothing had changed. It hadn't changed." He looked down and stopped talking then. Enough had been said.

The wine was a deep red, not too sweet or too dry but just right to go with the meal. Halfway through the meal he pulled a pan of fried squash from the oven, having forgotten to set it out. At the finish of the meal, Tim said "There aren't many people in Desolation, but there are a few good ones worth your time to know," mostly looking toward Dan as he said it, because Dan had been his friend for life just as Snow had been there for Bob. Giving back some about their own lives after Bob had shared some of his, the conversation then turned to Dan's hard day and his boss. The whirlpool was needed to ease Dan's pains and Bob freely offered to share it with them.

Dan relaxed and you could see a change come over him as the pains of his body drained away in the water. Tim began to joke around and tell funny stories, a lot of them about Dan but including all the characters he knew in Desolation. Bob laughed and laughed and really got a kick hearing some about school kids playing tricks on Charlie and how Charlie knew what was going on all along, having his own fun with the kids. Dan perked up and told some on Tim, like the recent one where Tim was mooning him at the fishing hole. They talked about the shortage of single women and Laura. Dan invited him over saying, "Anytime you want, just show up at my house. It ain't too exciting but its good company." They invited Bob to join them on their shopping trips on Fridays after work.

After the sun set it was drawing near the time for Tim and Dan to get home. They got out and dried off, but Bob was embarrassed and a little slower to get out. As he got out the reason was obvious "I'm a virgin, guys and the whirlpool does this to me all the time. It's the closest I've ever been to getting my dick played with, so it bones up." They just laughed and told him not to worry about it as they all dressed.

On the way home Tim said his reason for going was to cheer Bob up after finding him so upset that morning. "The guy needs some friends and he could do a lot worse than us." They decided to include him as much as he cared to be in their company, he was a nice guy.

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR *

Dean sat on the couch that was his bed. He was broke and it wasn't even payday yet. It pissed him off to no end. He had driven by Laura's parents' house over and over. Someone seemed to always be at the house. He couldn't afford the gas to keep driving by all the time hoping to find a time when no one was at home. At least he had gas to get to work and enough rocks to get through the week—if he was careful. All his thoughts were of his money hidden in that damn couch. The money was all that he needed to get his life back where he wanted it to be. Everything wrong was Laura's fault, even when he hit her.

In Desolation, nothing could have been farther from Laura's thoughts than Dean or her time with him. She was healing from the heartache now. Tim wasn't true love, but enough love to make her forget bad times. Every guy in the area stopped by Sally's store some time, but so far Tim was the nicest guy she'd met. It had always been flat out hundred miles an hour head over heels love at first sight or just her being nice to some guy so she wouldn't hurt his feelings, but with Tim she wasn't really sure what she felt. She knew a love that burned itself out quick was better than love that simmered slowly on the back burner. She had to feel breathless when she was with them and go crazy if she wasn't or it wasn't love in her book. Desolation was a different kind of place. She wasn't sure it was possible to find that 'love at first sight' type of love here. She was sure of one thing, when the movies or soaps showed a couple and one of them said they thought they were falling in love with the other, it was bullshit. There had never been anything gradual for her when she had fallen in love.

Tim was a lot of fun. They shared an attraction to each other. At first, they were spending more time together but because of their work schedules it was becoming more difficult. They probably wouldn't see each other more than once or twice a week. If he asked her to move in with him, it might be better, but seeing someone after they had gone to bed wasn't much of an improvement. He hadn't asked her to move in. In Desolation that would be called 'shacking up' and land her in a world of trouble with Aunt Patti and Sally.

Johnny Mac was around a lot. He still scared her a little. It might be his slight resemblance to Dean, more in his physical size and coloring, but there was an uneasy feeling when she was with him. He showed off his body and never gave any sign he was interested in more than someone to smoke a joint with him. He was younger, like a little brother, but very much on the rough side of life. He only seemed to work occasionally. Whatever he did for fun, he did away from home. He seemed to like getting his own way and got really pissed of if he didn't.

Most local men seemed to be married. Most local women seemed to be married. A handful of singles, kids, and widowers filled in the gaps. There was a lot of space for a peaceful life in Desolation if someone made friends or found love.

Bob thought over the conversations of the evening. It was lonelier tonight without Snow. Loosing Snow had taken his life in a new direction. Once more the big dog was bringing joy into Bob's life. Dan would be great help to replace Martin. After hearing how Dan was treated at work, Bob knew he could offer him a better job. Bob needed help. There were always things to be done he couldn't do alone even with machinery at his disposal. Going through the papers delivered to him that afternoon, he noticed that more of his earnings had been put in diversified investments and long range secure accounts outside his dad's company. Since he didn't run the business, he felt safer not having his income tied to the fate of the business. His dad had kept everything invested in his enterprise, except his ranch.

Fifteen thousand acres of the desert land near Desolation could never earn an income Bob could support himself with at the frugal level he enjoyed now. He really didn't spend much. His income from selling breeding stock could pay the bills most years but taxes or purchasing new equipment could leave him broke all the time if that was his only income. He was always looking at other projects that would make more money for the ranch. His breeding stock went for show animals and bulls to improve other rancher's herds, selling at a much higher price than beef cattle.

He kept his pastures divided and moved the cattle regularly to prevent overgrazing. Extended drought below the meager rainfall that was normal in the area could force him to feed his herd. The land could normally support only fifteen hundred head. He only kept two hundred head. With less rain the irrigation water from the lake wouldn't be plentiful and the well water would be saltier. At one time farming around Desolation had been widespread with shallow wells holding an abundant supply of water but continued pumping left the ground water more saline each year until it would no longer grow crops. There were solutions and Bob had begun to try some of them. He had a reverse osmosis pump on two wells that removed the salt. The water supplied would take care of his garden and small fruit orchard but not enough for any of his fields the cattle depended on for feed and grazing to supplement the pasture.

Among the papers delivered were proposals to buy three adjoining pieces of property. The price was very low and he decided to agree to the purchase. He would explore the properties and see what was there. Before bed, he had a new toy to play with.

The new laptop was still in the box. It had been set up and networked with his accounts, but needed to be networked with his three desktops at the ranch. It was quite a gem of a computer. It had a satellite connection and could connect to the internet or be used as a phone anywhere in the world. He loved it.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE *

Tim had spent the night at Dan's. He had brought his laundry to wash the night before since he didn't have a washer at his house. When he and Dan got back from Bob's house the laundry went in the dryer. He hadn't intended to spend the night. The meal, the wine, the laughter, and the pleasant evening with Bob set a mood where neither man wanted to sleep alone that night. Tim gave Dan a long thorough massage to work out his soreness from the hard day. The touching and tenderness did more for Dan than sex and without words expressed the way Tim cared for him. The sex came later, anyway. It was part of what they shared.

As Dan and Tim drank coffee the next morning the phone rang. Bob was on the line. Just getting a phone call was rare for Dan. Most of the time it was his sister or a telephone solicitor if he got a call, "I need someone to replace Martin if you're interested," Bob offered. "I listened to you talking about how bad you had it at work and think you would like working with me better. Call the asshole and quit. When you are ready come on over and we'll discuss your pay and take care of the paperwork." Dan agreed to meet him in an hour or so. The offer came out of the blue.

Tim was grinning like a cat when Dan hung up the phone. "It's damn well time your life took a turn for the better," he told Dan with a hug. "I want to hear all about your day when you get home this evening." It was time for Tim to head out the door so they parted company.

Dan called his boss and apologetically told him he quit. Of course, he was pissed anyway. How would he line out men to work who didn't speak English? "Come out and get your tools and I'll have your check ready when you get here. I don't like to leave any loose ends." The boss was trying not to break his ties with Dan, hoping the new job might not work out and he would come back. In that moment he realized just how much Dan did for him.

The Mexicans all helped him gather and load his tools in the pick-up bed. He'd always left them there even during the times he was laid off during the winter. Twelve long years he had worked there and now he was free. It had been hard buying the tools. For ranch work you need almost every kind of tool. The value of the tools was more than any reasonable job could ever ask, but this job had never been something reasonable, it had been the only job Dan could find in Desolation. The paycheck even had a little bonus added to it, as the boss said, "for all the years he'd worked there." Mostly the extra pay was added to ease a guilty conscience. Dan was still sore from the previous days work.

When he got to Bob's they went into the office first. He filled out the papers for taxes and insurance. Dan never had insurance before. The pay was three times what he made before. Bob never asked what he'd made but apologized saying "I paid Martin double this and you'll make more as you learn more about breeding and bloodlines." Bob had a computer, brand new and still in the box for him to take home and a cell phone for him to carry with him all the time. "You'll need the computer to learn breeding, Dan. I've had the cell phone a while but Martin hated it and would never carry it with him. It is a satellite phone that works anywhere. There aren't many towers around here. I always had to go looking for him when I needed help. You won't be in need of any of your tools here, I kind of like to keep everything on hand here that I might need and I'm pretty well supplied."

They were headed out the door when a FedEx truck pulled up to the house. Inside a large envelope they delivered were the deeds to the adjacent property. The lawyers hadn't waited for Bob's approval to buy the property. The first order of business was a tour of the ranch. Beside Bob's pick-up was a late model white Dodge pick-up. He handed Dan the keys and said, "Here, you drive. We'll tour the barns last after we see the herds."

Following a ranch road they proceeded down a stock lane with pastures down each side and gates that opened into the stock lane, used to move cattle from one pasture to another. Bob explained that the herd was divided into four herds that were moved every week to different pastures. Coming through a cattle guard again and continuing down the ranch road all the fields lay ahead of them. The fields were rotated for crop use like the pastures were for grazing. A field was only used to produce a crop every four years and was planted in nitrogen fixing and soil building cover crops in the fallow years. The cover crops were grazed as were some of the fields in production, at different times. They had made a circle of the acreage and back near the house was the orchard, the garden, some feeder lots, and finally the barns. Each barn was identified along with its purpose and several were unused. There was a pig lot and several connected poultry houses. The variety of machinery had its own barn and mechanics shop. Martin's house and two bunkhouses, each with yards and hedge rows for some privacy were located on the opposite side of the barns from the family home. The hangar held a Cessna that could carry six passengers plus pilot and co-pilot, Bob told him and said he'd had a license since he was fourteen. It had been much more of a feeder operation in the past and required a lot more hands at that time.

Inspecting the new property was next. Exiting the ranch, the first piece was 1280 acres, two sections. After going through the gate, they rode the ranch road through it taking in what they saw with little comment. The second piece was the same size and their inspection the same routine. The third piece was 640 acres, one section. It had the remains of a farm house foundation where there had once been a home. All three had concrete irrigation ditches, some connected to the water supply from the lake and many wells scattered around the properties. It was obvious they had been unused for many years. The former fields were grown up in scrub brush. The ranch roads were rutted and rough. They lacked the beauty and organized character of the ranch they neighbored.

The morning was gone. Just looking around had made the time fly by. They ate lunch back at the house. Bob explained that groceries and the house, with other fringes came with the job. If Dan added his needs to the orders, they were delivered every week. Having a beer with lunch was a big change from Dan's experience with his old boss, and beer could go on the order list with the groceries and supplies. Gas was on hand for his truck or the white ranch truck that would be his now as part of the job. After lunch they loaded the computer into the white pick-up with Bob following Dan in his old truck back to Dan's house. Bob helped him unload his tools and get everything put away. They carried in the computer and went to work getting it set up and connected to the internet. It was already programmed and had the ranch files and information on its hard drive. He showed him how to network with the computers at the ranch so he could do work at home. A lot of days he wouldn't need to be at the ranch when he was working on breeding plans or simply learning more about breeding and bloodlines. The bulk of the physical work Dan already knew, only the routines or methods differed a little.

They rode together back to the ranch in the white truck and discussed plans for tomorrow as they drove. Bob gave Dan a check and called it a signing bonus, just to help him get settled into the new job. They talked for another hour and had a few beers. He invited Dan to call Tim and get him to come to dinner again with both of them. Tim hadn't left work yet and was happy to come.

The day was overwhelming with changes to Dan's life. He was almost in tears. When Tim came through the door, the dam burst. "Baby, it's all right. Everything is going to be OK." Tim just hugged him, feeling confused and looked at Bob, who had the same expression. Tim hit Bob's bar and fixed them all a strong drink. Breaking the mood, Bob drug them into the kitchen and said "Come on, guys, we're going to fix the best Mexican food you've ever eaten, except for Maria's anyway."

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX *

The sunset that evening was magnificent, the oranges and reds were outlined with purples and deep blues along the back sides of the clouds. It was a full moon and as the sun set, the moon rose and reflected dark red as if two setting suns sat on opposite sides of the sky. The steady breeze made the evening air comfortable. Johnny Mac was sitting below a big rock outcrop near the hunting cabin with Donnie. Donnie finished his last exam that morning, but Gary still had one more to complete, so he couldn't party. The last of Johnny Mac's weed was rolled and two joints lay on the ground while another passed from mouth to mouth between the two. Except for a little noise inhaling and an occasional hack, they watched the sunset silently together. Fireflies were starting to put on their evening display.

Knocking the cherry from the end of the roach, Johnny Mac clasped the other two joints in one hand with the roach and threw his discarded t-shirt over his shoulder. They were both in gym shorts and tennis shoes; it had been a hot day. Gliding back through the door to the cabin the silence of the sunset changed to the blaring music of Nirvana as Kurt Cobain crooned the words to 'Rape Me'. Somehow between the two they had pulled together enough cash for a case and some gas. Donnie had two twenties stashed in his wallet but didn't want to risk Johnny Mac getting crazy on him while he was alone. Hell, even with Gary's company they had no choice but to do whatever Johnny Mac wanted or get hurt, maybe hurt badly, even if somewhere inside he liked it. Two beer tops popped. Johnny Mac tossed the weed on the coffee table and threw his shirt over the back of the couch. Donnie took a seat on one end of the couch.

Johnny Mac rifled through the pile of CDs by the jam box and laid one out on front to play when the one playing finished. He wrapped an arm around Donnie's shoulder and pulled him close as he sat down. "It's just you and me tonight and we're going to party, huh?" He felt Donnie tremble a little. He liked it, he liked the feel of Donnie's fear. Donnie's voice cracked, he hesitated "whatever you want Johnny, we can party I guess."

It was getting dark. The only light inside was the glow of a red light on the boom box. Donnie started to rise saying, "I'll turn on some light, man." Johnny held him in place. "I like it like this right now. It's peaceful." He loosened his grip as Donnie relaxed, and then Donnie flinched as he felt Johnny grab his wrist.

Johnny Mac liked the fear, the hesitation. He was hard as he pulled Donnie's hand to his crotch. "Show me what I missed out on the other night, Donnie," Johnny demanded.

'Johnny ain't even drunk this time. I'm in trouble now,' Donnie thought to himself. "OK, but if you fuck me at least use some grease. It hurt like hell last time" was his only reply.

Now Johnny pulled his face toward his crotch. "What kind of grease have you got?"

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN *

Laura was bored as hell. It was her day off and the best she had to do was watch TV with Patti. She heard the news about Dan's new job working for Bob when Patti came in from work. Having driven by Tim's and Dan's three times since three that afternoon she felt a little silly. Even Johnny Mac was nowhere around. The satellite channels offered a variety of programs to watch. They snacked all evening, eating fruit, cheese, cottage cheese, and salad. Some popcorn washed down by a few wine coolers got them through a movie.

Early in the evening there was a silent phone call. Laura answered it. There wasn't any heavy breathing, just nothing. Patti mentioned getting another call for Laura. No name was given, no message was left. "Don't worry about it honey. It's probably someone who came into the store. Everyone knows who you are now and my number is in the book," Patti added to calm her. "Guys are like that all the time. They want a date or to get to know you but loose their nerve. If it's someone really interested they'll talk to you at work or call again sometime." Patti added that she thought shy guys were usually the nicest ones.

Dean was the silent caller. He had to hear her voice. He had to know for sure if Laura was living there. He thought he was going to be laid off as the job drew to a close but was sent to a new jobsite instead. He'd worn out his welcome living in the friend's garage. After sleeping in his car for several days he got a rent by the week motel room with his next paycheck. He traded his car for a pick-up and got a little cash in the deal.

The extra cash plus his paycheck put Dean back in business. By Sunday night he had nearly fifteen hundred dollars and enough rocks to last him the week. It was Tuesday now and the sum had grown to over two thousand. None of his customers had forgotten him but he remembered them treating him like shit when he was down. He added enough cut to raise his profit but not so much he'd loose any customers. More than anything he stewed about getting even with Laura.

At Bob's, the house was filled with the smell of Mexican cooking. They sat in the den drinking beer after everyone had eaten their fill. "There's something more between you two than being best friends isn't there?" Bob asked. Neither man made a comment so Bob continued. "I see it in your eyes when you look at each other. It's the same look I see when Maria and Charlie look at each other. I'm a virgin and I've never been in love, hell I've never even had any friends until now, but I know what I see."

Dan could feel his world crashing down. He saw the new job being lost with no job to go back to. "Life is complicated," Tim spoke up. "We've known each other all our lives. In a way, each of us is the missing part of the other. Together we are happy. We are whole. When I'm not with Dan, I'm thinking about him." Dan was still lost in his fears. Tim's words hit him hard because they had never talked about how they felt.

"I had to ask if I'll be around you both all the time now. Love is special. I don't even know my own sexuality. I'm comfortable with you both and I want you to be comfortable with me. Anything we say or do here is a private matter." The topic changed and Bob began to talk about things he had wanted to do with the ranch. Dan relaxed again and all three got very involved in the discussion. There were a world of possibilities and five new sections of land to plan with. He asked them to spend the night again. To insure their comfort, he showed them the security system. When it was on or a separate control for the gate was turned on, no one could get through the gate. A speaker there let visitors call the house and they could use a code to open the gate if needed. "There are four bedrooms down the back hall, and the one beside mine on the front hall, take your pick." He started to his bedroom and added, "The alarm clock will be set for five, so don't worry."

"I feel pretty damn stupid, Dan. It took someone who doesn't even know me, to make me admit how I feel about you." Tim handed Dan a small glass of Amaretto, took one himself, and they both downed the sweet liquor. Dan looked into Tim's eyes and said, "I'm lost without you, always have been." They made their way down the hall to the bedroom next to Bob's. In bed they held each other as they fell asleep.

During the night dreams haunted Bob. Dan and Tim were shaking him awake as he felt a scream escape his throat. He heard their voices telling him everything was fine and somehow reached out of his sleep enough to say "OK, OK" when they told him to go back to sleep and dream better dreams. He closed his eyes and was gone again to some other place.

Dan took a small soft towel and wiped the sweat from Bob. The sheets and covers lay down around his feet all jumbled up. The bed beneath him was soaked like his body. They scooted him over to the dry side of the big bed, Snow's side, and pulled the sheet back up to his chest. His monsters were bad monsters, but the smell of Snow that lingered on the bed carried him to a kinder place. Now he slept in peace.

It seemed to Dan, that he had just lain down again when Bob nudged him and handed him a cup of coffee. He was spooned up to Tim and rolled to the side to accept the cup. Tim stirred, and then reached to take a cup from Bob's hand himself. Bob disappeared back down the hall. That first morning urge led to the splashing of two streams where they mingled in the toilet bowl as the two men stood side by side.

The shower was huge. It had gadgets they hadn't seen before and a bench wide enough for more than just the two of them. They took turns washing each others bodies and after rinsing just let the hot water cascade down covering them as they hugged. The towels were warm, how the hell did the towels get warm?

Tim shook his head to sling the hair out of his face, hum—no brush. Buck naked, he made his way through the kitchen toward the garage. Bob was naked, too, but had an apron around his waist to keep the bacon grease from popping on his bare skin. Tim returned to the kitchen with a full basket of clothes in his arms. He hadn't made it home to put the clothes away. At least he would be wearing fresh clothes today.

Dan was leaning against the kitchen door jamb with his hair going every direction but where it should have fallen. "There is a brush in my bath if you need one," Bob could see they needed to finish grooming and knew they wouldn't look for his brush, so he offered it. Three naked men standing in a kitchen at five thirty in the morning was such a funny sight to Dan he just started laughing and shaking his head. Outside of the locker room in high school or maybe skinny dipping, he was sure none of them had just stood around naked with other guys.

Tim just smiled as he went to get dressed. He had to go to work, but they were already there. He came back in a few minutes with his hair brushed and sat at the table to pull his boots on his feet. There was that snug little pop as each foot slid the last bit of the way into the boot. The microwave dinged but Bob ignored it. The bacon was draining on a paper towel covered plate and small diced chunks of potato with some onion browned in the skillet. Bob chopped a jalapeno and tossed it in to cook with the rest. He rough broke the bacon into a big bowl and the potato mix took the bacons place to drain. Bob dumped a steamer full of rice from the microwave into the bowl and broke it up with a fork. He stirred in the potatoes and set the bowl on the table. Then he fried six eggs and cut them up into the mix. "Breakfast," he said.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT *

Donnie woke feeling the weight of Johnny Mac covering his body. He felt him still inside him, and still hard. There was Johnny's hand pressed against his belly, holding him in place. A sticky puddle felt cold against his belly, too, and he was sure it covered Johnny's hand. He tried to scoot away but was drawn back again. The stroking began again. The slapping sound as their bodies met got louder and faster. It must have continued all night. He couldn't remember. He began to meet each stroke, pushing his hips back in a grinding motion. He moaned and the puddle beneath him got bigger, warmed by a fresh burst. The hand moved down and stroked him milking out the last drops and returned up his belly. He felt his thin belly pressed between the hand and the hardness that filled him. Johnny was stroking his dick through Donnie's belly as he plunged in and out. He felt the throbbing. It seemed to go on forever. Then he felt a trickle running down his leg. The pounding didn't stop, the pace just slowed back to a steady rhythm. He clinched his muscles to push Johnny out and kept clinching them. "Yeah, keep doing that, babe, it feels so good," was the response he got, not what he intended. "Let me up, I got to go piss," Donnie begged. "OK, bud, just hurry back," the response came.

He didn't come back. He grabbed his shorts and was down the road by the time he looked back and saw Johnny standing in the door. The truck hesitated a little; it liked to warm up some before it was driven. He couldn't go home like this. His belly was nasty. His ass was nasty. The seat was a mess below him. He had an empty feeling like part of his body was missing, like there was this big hole where his ass should be. He drove to the lake. He was on automatic, just letting his hands and the truck take him where he was going. No one was at the lake. It was early. He waded into the water and reached down pulling his shorts off again. He rinsed the shorts out several times and threw them to the shore. He washed his body and reaching back to his ass it seemed like he could stick his whole hand inside. Johnny Mac was huge. He felt guilty because he didn't hurt. Having been used like he had, it aught to hurt, why didn't it hurt? Why had it made him cum? He had messed around with Gary for years. It had been quick releases to meet their needs and nothing more. With Johnny Mac, at first it was forced upon him. Donnie protested. Johnny's sex wasn't a quick release. He filled some need in Donnie, Donnie couldn't explain. Donnie only felt guilt and a desire to do it again.

He took a towel from the truck and washed the seat. He rinsed out the towel and rinsed his shorts again. He drove to the back side of the lake and parked under a tree behind a ridge where no one could see him. He stretched out his shorts to dry and sat there. He didn't cry. He kind of whimpered and he couldn't raise his eyes to look around. He just wanted to disappear and fall off the face of the earth.

He had to take a dump. The feeling was urgent so he pulled on his shorts and drove back to the beach. The restroom there was empty. For a long while he sat there. What had been put inside him drained out now. Finally what was natural, what had caused the urge was happening and the need subsided. He washed his ass at the sink in case anything nasty remained and then drove back to his private spot. At least his ass felt normal again.

His nineteenth birthday would come in two weeks but at eighteen he might as well have been twelve. Other than his hand, this was his fourth sexual experience getting fucked. With Gary, they'd only exchanged blow jobs. This time was worse. He idolized Johnny Mac but was afraid of him if he was drunk. Right now he kind of hated him, kind of loved him, kind of hated him and hated himself even more. The beer he drank the night before and the joints he smoked had let him enjoy himself when others times he'd just felt guilty. Being held tight in those big arms felt so good, being held in those big arms against his will or under the protest of his pride as a man felt so bad it hurt, but liking it felt worse. Oh God, he was so damn confused. He hated everything that had happened to him. Was there something he had done, something he had said that made Johnny Mac do this to him? Hell, Johnny Mac wasn't even drunk. Being drunk had been their mutual excuse every other time they'd had sex and Johnny always claimed he didn't remember anything. Maybe he didn't then. But he had to now. Gary was the one who'd said that maybe it wasn't so bad the last time. He'd said he didn't like it and he wasn't like that, but inside he knew he was lying, even if just a little bit. This time he had really liked it. This time maybe he even loved Johnny Mac.

Hell no, this wasn't love. Love wasn't being forced to do something. Love was what two people felt for each other. Love was sex two people had when both wanted it, both tenderly holding each other, love was something different and this wasn't love. How could he feel like he loved Johnny Mac? How could he want the sex with him again? He did. All he felt was overpowering guilt now. He wanted to cry but no tears came. He wanted to be angry, but no, he only felt guilty; felt like everything was somehow his fault. He wouldn't have a birthday in two weeks. He wouldn't graduate. He was driving too fast over the rough ground and hit a rut. The deer rifle in the rack behind the seat jumped out of the rack and reaching to catch it his fingers met the trigger. Three shots went off before he fell back onto the seat. Nobody heard the gunfire. The truck came to a stop tilted on its side. It ran until all the gas was gone.

Johnny Mac watched as Donnie drove away. He knew Donnie was pissed off. He liked that. It meant Donnie wasn't a damn queer. He liked the power. He liked making Donnie do what he wanted, especially if Donnie didn't like it. For someone who didn't like it, the sex was great. His ass was so tight Johnny hadn't ever even gone soft. The kid would cum three times for every time Johnny would cum. All he did was moan and shoot more cum on the bed. Each time he would cum, he would clamp down on Johnny like a vise. How could he be so damn good? He'll cool off. He'll come back or tomorrow, or the next day Johnny would get some again, he just knew it. Johnny wanted more. He wanted it all the time. He just wanted to take it from Donnie and never feel like Donnie wanted it, like a game to play.

Johnny hit the shower at the cabin. He sat around a while. Then he loaded up the beer; they only drank eight from the case the night before. He grabbed the weed and his shirt. Hell the sheet needed washing with all that cum on it, so he grabbed it too. They wouldn't want a crunchy bed next time, would they?

Back at home he put on some jeans. His mom and dad were at work and he was alone. He smelled the sheet as he threw it and his dirty clothes in his hamper. It smelled like Donnie. His dick got hard. He'd find something to do today.

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE *

After Tim left for work, Dan and Bob got dressed. There weren't many chores to do. Bob had six horses. He said the bay was his favorite, but he rode all of them regularly. They were good cutting horses. Each horse got his morning ration. They fed the poultry. The feeders each held a bag full but usually lasted a week. There were chickens, ducks, geese, guineas, turkeys, and several kinds of quail and pheasant. Dan collected the eggs but where three hens were sitting clutches, he left the eggs alone. The pigs were fine. Tim delivered feed for them every week and they only needed to be looked at to see if they were doing all right. Bob tended the milk cow. He had put the calf in a pen the night before. He washed her teats and connected the milker, taking a gallon before disconnecting it and letting the calf in to nurse. He washed out the milker and replaced it on the shelf. They carried the jug of milk back to the house. The jug went in a big water bath, like a crock pot, to pasteurize the milk.

Then they both got five gallon buckets and went to pick the garden. When everything was picked they went back to the house. Some veggies were set aside for use and some for Maria. Using a faucet that put out boiling water, they blanched, then chilled in ice water, dried, and packed the rest in freezer bags and put them in the freezer. It was nine now. Bob spent an hour showing Dan how to use the computer. After a coke, they went out to do more work.

At first they tended to the irrigation. Alfalfa and costal hay fields had walking sprinkler systems that you let run until they reached the far side of the field. They usually took three days to make their trip down these fields, but sometimes broke down and had to be repaired. They rolled down concrete paths with small curbs to keep the wheels from bogging down and keep them in alignment. Other fields had to be watered with siphon tubes from the ditch. Some had pipe that had to be moved by hand, but because there were idle fields, there was enough extra pipe to leave them in place until they had to be moved to allow for machinery needed to work the fields or for harvest. Still other fields had the circular rotating irrigation sprinklers. They didn't need much maintenance, but wasted space left areas needing cultivation to keep weeds from growing. Dan was familiar with all the equipment and knew how to repair it and keep it running; he only needed to know the schedules. Knowing this left Bob able to work separately from Dan where help wasn't needed and the work would get done faster. By lunch time they were back at the house.

Tim was driving up as they returned to the house. He was delivering fuel today driving the Co-Op truck. He had timed his delivery schedule so he could take a longer lunch with Bob and Dan. They had sandwiches and chips with a couple of beers to wash it down. It might not have been a good idea for Tim to drink any, but two wouldn't hurt much. Johnny Mac came knocking on the door while they were eating looking for work. He was surprised to see Dan, but saw the fuel truck so Tim was expected to be there.

Sure enough, with the three new places, Bob gave Johnny a job, too. All the fences would need to be repaired or replaced, the fallow fields would need to be root plowed and cleaned up. Except for the wells and the concrete ditches, it was nearly as much work as it had taken to turn it into fields and pasture originally. Thirty two hundred acres increased the size of the ranch and the fifteen thousand original acres were sometimes more than two men could handle even if a lot of it was just pasture.

Bob had Dan begin checking hay cutting and bailing equipment. He led him down the machinery barn opening several doors and pointing out which machines were to be inspected. Then he left with Johnny to repeat the tour of the newly acquired land. Johnny followed in his own truck, and then they rode together making a circle of the fences. Most of the T-posts were fine, but fence wire needed tightening and tying down where fasteners had broken. A few corner posts needed replacing. The cattle guards needed to have weeds cleaned out from under them. Johnny had loaded most of what was needed before they left, so Bob left him to get started on the work.

Dan made quick work of the inspections. He even went a little further and checked some other equipment. Bob and Martin had painstakingly maintained everything. Everything was thoroughly cleaned and greased before it was put away inside the barn. The last equipment used was for bailing hay. It was in fine shape. The combines would be needed in a few weeks and had been cleaned last year. A couple of batteries needed charging, but everything started and ran.

He found Bob making a batch of adobe bricks when he finished. Bob washed out the mixer and washed down the frames, and then they began stacking some cured bricks on pallets. Bob started moving the pallets as Dan stacked the last of the cured bricks. Dan followed the tractor down the row of barns to where Bob entered and was amazed when he saw the huge stacks of bricks. He stayed there while Bob moved the remaining pallets, doing a mental count of his estimated number of bricks housed inside the barn. "What are you planning to use all these bricks for?" asked Dan.

"I have two full barns besides these and I haven't decided on anything to build yet," was all Bob said. "It's beer thirty, let's go get Johnny. He hasn't got a watch."

During the drive, Bob suggested "Why don't you go home this evening and get whatever you need. Bring your dog and just stay out here. You can come and go as you please. I need the company and think you and Tim could be more comfortable here away from busy bodies and prying eyes. I need a dog around to eat the leftovers since Snow is gone, too."

At the house, Tim was back from work. They discussed it drinking a beer and Tim agreed. Johnny Mac just listened. Tim and Dan left together in the white Dodge. It was a crew cab and would hold everything.

They brought all the perishables from Dan's fridge and a bag of food for Dog. A couple of baskets of Dan's clothes and another of Tim's were gathered at his house. Dog was happy with his tongue hanging out lapping at air, sitting pretty riding in the back seat of the truck.

They made a stop at the Gas'n'Go and Tim went inside to talk to Laura. He explained the events of the last few days and that he was staying at Bob's for a while as a result. She didn't quite get the "Let's just be friends" speech but it was close enough for her to get the idea. Laura would think about this the next time she was asked out on a date.

Bob and Johnny talked while they were gone. He did his paperwork for employment at the ranch and got the same information as Dan about his benefits. His pay was a lot less, but still more than Dan had been paid before, a damn good job for a young man. Then they discussed the living arrangements. Bob didn't want a lot of strangers running loose around the house and he wasn't sure about leaving Johnny with a free reign on the alcohol supply. He knew he already bought his own with a fake ID, but there could be legal problems. He offered him Martin's house or one of the bunk houses if he wanted to party with his friends, but he could use a bedroom in the house unless some problem developed. There was a separate entrance drive for Martin's and the bunk house driveways didn't give access to the barns, house, or ranch.

Johnny preferred to live in the house. It was so nice, beyond anything he had ever seen. Cooking together would be easier and he'd finally get away from his parents. Maybe he didn't think everything through, but he was willing to follow the house rules to be able to stay. If he wanted to get wilder, he could do that at the cabin with the guys or in the small house. He left, too, to get his things from home.

Johnny pretty much cleaned out everything he had and loaded it in his truck. He didn't have a lot because he spent most of what he made in the past on partying. No one was home. He left a note on the kitchen table with the phone number and the basic news that he had a job with Bob and housing went with it.

Bob had supper well under way when the guys returned. By the time they got their things unloaded and put away everything was done. It was a fine pork chop dinner with extra cooked for men's hearty appetites. Dog was very happy in the new house. He found a big pillow by the fireplace in the den that had been Snow's and quickly claimed it as his own. He got a pork chop bone and spent the rest of the evening chewing on it.

The evening went peacefully. They spent some time in the whirlpool getting the sore muscles relaxed. Bob turned on the TV afterward showing them how to use the remote for the satellite system since each bedroom had its own TV. When everyone headed to bed, three guys went down one hall and one went down the other.

Bob got on the computer in his bedroom. There was one in the office and another in the kitchen, his new laptop, one in Martin's house, and one in the mechanics shop. All were networked together and connected by the internet to the one at Dan's and those at his lawyer's offices. He ordered three more, two more laptops like his new one and two cell phones. He ordered two computer desks for now. He thought it might be overkill, but the ones ordered except the laptops were actually better than the ones he already had. He also ordered a pick-up for Johnny Mac. It wasn't new, but only a year old at a big price reduction and low mileage. It would be delivered the next day from the dealership in town. The phones and computers would arrive Friday. He surfed some after that looking at some things he'd need if he decided on any projects he had considered. The new property had to be investigated more before any decisions were made.

Dan and Tim kicked back in bed and watched TV. There was a corner couch group in the bedroom, but they piled pillows against the headboard of the king size bed. There were so many channels they had a hard time deciding what to watch. It ended up on Letterman, just on a channel they could have watched without all the choices.

Johnny Mac watched TV, too. He checked out the porn channels first, but was disappointed. He fell asleep with an action movie going and missed the end. They all slept naked as most men do and their doors were all open.

CHAPTER THIRTY *

Bob was up first. He had forgotten he had the only alarm clock when he ordered things. Dan and Tim left theirs at home. Johnny didn't have one. He started delivering coffee as soon as the pot stopped brewing. Johnny Mac got the first cup, after Bob anyway. He was a little surprised to see it delivered by a naked Bob. After his morning piss, he came to the kitchen the same way, 'Why Not?' He carried one cup as Bob carried the other to Dan and Tim. He was surprised again to see them cuddled up in the same bed, and that they followed him to the kitchen without dressing either. It appeared this was going to be a very relaxed household.

It was a cereal breakfast. Dan decided to just have coffee. They all sat up at the kitchen bar this morning instead of at the table. Tim left at the regular time. All three did the ranch chores in record time. Johnny went back to work on the fence. Bob had called to get the power turned on at the new property and as they finished the chores the power company truck pulled up. Each well had its own meter and they followed the truck around making sure no pumps were turned on as he put the new meters in. Some wells Bob and Dan would never have found, but the old records and a map showed each one. Some of the power lines from pole to well were buried lines. In the end there were thirty-two wells scattered over the properties. The service man said the meters were all read at the company office, but they could compare the readings on the bills if any questions came up.

After a trip back to the ranch and returning with a trailer hauling pipe and supplies, they set about the task of checking out the pumps. The first well pumped water when it was turned on. All the pumps were large electric submersible pumps with three inch outlet pipes. Bob connected a section of pipe and then more until it reached the concrete ditch. Dan turned it on to let it run. Cleaning them out would be the first task. Cleaning out the ditches would come later. Arriving at the house for lunch the supply truck was waiting. The driver knew lunch was the best time to show up. The unloaded everything, Bob signed for it, and put it all away. The frozen food went first, followed by fresh items. Only a few vegetables were unloaded because a lot was coming out of the garden this early in the year. Lunch began with a beer, food would come later.

Bob went out and returned a minute later with a large envelope. Johnny asked "who's truck is that parked outside?"

Bob reached inside the envelope pulling out a set of keys and replied "Yours. Park your old truck inside the machinery barn and we'll go check this one out." Johnny came back from the barn at a dead run, breathless. It was a metallic blue crew cab Ford Tahoe. All three climbed in the front seat and the big men weren't crowded. It was loaded and looked brand new. Running boards and some extras had been added by the first owner. The stereo cranked! Johnny gunned it and let out a whoop. "Do I have to make love to you tonight or what Bob?"

"No you can just kiss my ass a few times and we'll call it even" was Bob's reply. After a good ride they came back and checked everything under the hood. They moved the tools and supplies Johnny was using from his truck to this one and went to eat in the kitchen. Bob pulled a CD from the envelope and said it was the repair manuals and would be loaded into the computer.

The afternoon continued like the morning. Johnny had made the rounds and fixed nearly a third of the fences. Bob and Dan had four wells running and two that would have to be pulled and the pumps fixed or replaced. Reverse osmosis filters to remove the salt could be added later. Beer thirty came quickly. Johnny drank two and drove to Desolation to show off the new truck. In town Gary asked Johnny "Have you seen Donnie, nobody knows where he is?" Johnny said no he hadn't seen him in days but was sure he'd turn up. The night was uneventful. The next day, Friday, was the previous days routine except for the computer and phone deliveries. That evening they were all busy setting up and programming the computers, each placed on the new desks in Johnny Mac's bedroom and the bedroom shared by Dan and Tim. The laptops were easy. Bob connected them with network cables and just copied the hard drive of his new one onto theirs. The extra computer stayed in the box. Johnny and Tim both got phones. Bob figured that since he lived there he needed a phone, too. Saturday morning was all planned out. It would be the usual fishing day. Dan called Brian to make sure he was doing the mowing and said he'd see him in the morning. They were up pretty late since it was Friday night. Johnny bailed first. He wanted to surf the net for a while, looking for porn.