This story is fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. These stories have as their main character a sexually active gay teenager. If this is offensive to you, or if it is illegal in your area, or if you are under age, please leave now.
There is a religious element in these stories. If you don't like that, maybe now is a good time to leave.
Thanks to Colin for editing.
Constructive criticism is welcome on my e-mail at perti@live.com.
Dermot II Chapter 10, Conversations with Lando
Dermot was put out with his boyfriend. It seemed to him that Lando was saying he had to either accept his religious ideas or else agree with Bob Lynch, and he did not want to do either. He fumed about that all the rest of Monday, until that evening he decided to tackle Lando on the subject again. He made his way down the corridor to Lando's room, and again found the boy busy at his computer.
"Can we talk?" Dermot asked.
"Sure," Lando replied, saving what he was working on and turning to face his visitor.
"Were you serious today at lunch when you said there was no rational way to refute Bob's opinion that all morality is merely a matter of what the dominant opinion is society might be?"
"Yeah. Listen, Dermot, I argued with Bob for months about these things last semester. Like I said at lunch, if you want some objective standard of right and wrong, you have to have something to compare individual acts to. And, try as I might, I could not come up with anything that Bob would accept as anything more than the opinions of either an individual or of society."
"Are you trying to tell me I either have to believe in God or else throw out all morality?" Dermot demanded.
"Well, not exactly. Most people do accept certain basic things as either good or bad. I would say that's because God has created humans with a conscience and a basic human nature. But even without God, you can observe the fact that most people agree on certain things," Lando admitted.
"Well, then, if we have this agreement, doesn't that refute Bob's position?" Dermot insisted.
"Not really. It's a practical approach, which may be the best we can do in a pluralistic society, but it solves none of the philosophical problems. Bob can still say those areas of agreement are just a result of the more powerful imposing their values on the rest of humanity. Kind of like the masses are brainwashed by the dominant ethos. And after all, there are always those who violate the standards of society. That's why we have laws and jails. And Bob can rationally contend that the outlook of those we consider criminals is just as rational as those who obey the laws. Maybe more so."
"More so? How do you figure that?"
Lando sighed. "Again, let me make it clear that this is not my outlook. I am trying to give Bob's position. But you remember what Diane said about Hannibal the cannibal today, and what I told you about Bob's take on that character. In fact, I seem to recall that you initially thought he was pretty cool."
Dermot objected to that assessment. "That was before I knew about the cannibal part."
"But don't you see, if there is no objective morality, but only what society adopts, and one society is different from another, then it is possible to defend Hannibal's position?"
"How so?"
"Okay, let's say we go along with the idea that the only thing anyone had to be concerned with was finding personal fulfillment. That is certainly a widespread belief today, right?"
"Well, yeah. But personal fulfillment is a good thing, isn't it?"
"We're back to the old problem of deciding what is good and what is evil. If personal fulfillment is the ultimate criterion for whether something is good or evil, and if there is no objective standard for everyone, then what is good or what is evil is different for each person. My fulfillment, in other words, might involve something you don't like at all. Or Hannibal's personal fulfillment might involve something his victims would consider wrong. My good is your evil," Lando argued.
"Then, you can't really say anything is good or evil," Dermot mused.
"Not without some standard by which to judge. I know you're not much of a sports fan, but surely you know enough about baseball, for example, to see that, unless there are rules on how to score, and an umpire to decide on contested plays, there is no way to decide who wins or who loses. In Bob's philosophy, it's like each one of us is a totally separate world without any real connections between them as far as morality is concerned. Whether those totally separate worlds are at war or at peace with each other is simply a matter of what is, not what is good or evil."
That rang a bell in Dermot's memory somewhere. When Lando started to go on, Dermot held up his hand, asking for quiet for a moment so he could try to dredge up that memory. Then he looked up. "I've got it!"
"What?"
"Last year, in my world history class, there was a mention of some guy named Hobbes. That interested me, because I kind of like those cartoons, you know, 'Calvin and Hobbes.' I wondered whether there was a connection, so I looked up this Hobbes dude on the computer in the school library. He said something like what you just said, about everyone being at war with everyone else."
"Let's check it out," Lando offered, and turned back to his computer. He opened his browser, and Googled "Hobbes." After eliminating some hits which obviously did not fit, they honed in on Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679), author of a book called Leviathan. It was evidently pretty influential in his day.
Reading about Thomas Hobbes, Lando and Dermot discovered that he was attempting to do what they had been attempting to do, namely, construct a theory of society and government on purely secular grounds, and consequently he was considered one of the starting points for the movement called the Enlightenment. Hobbes tried to figure out what humans would be like without organized society, without all the laws and officials and churches and the like, or what came to be called being man in a 'state of nature.' He decided that what he called "our natural passions" were basically "partiality, pride, revenge, and the like." This sounded a lot like the personal fulfillment of someone like the character Hannibal. Hobbes also recognized that pursuing one's "natural passions" would bring one into conflict with what he called "the laws of nature (as justice, equity, modesty, mercy, and, in sum, doing to others as we would be done to)."
There was certainly in the thought of Hobbes support for Bob Lynch's position, at least in that Hobbes decided that everyone really wanted to dominate others. He likewise supported Bob in denying any objective standard of right and wrong. This was not getting anywhere, Dermot decided. He did not want support for Bob Lynch. Where was that business about war?
Then, they found a link to Chapter 12 of Leviathan, Dermot and Lando discovered Hobbes' description of what it was like in a world in which each person pursued his own "natural passions," or what contemporary society called personal fulfillment. "During the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition called war; and such a war, as if of every man, against every man. ... To this war of every man against every man, this also is consequent; that nothing can be unjust. The notions of right and wrong, justice and injustice have there no place," ... there are "no arts; no letters; no society; and which is worst of all, continual fear, and danger of violent death; and the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short."
"So," Dermot concluded, "the opinions of someone like Bob are not all that new."
"No, I guess not," Lando conceded, "but Hobbes does not avoid the logical conclusions of that position, the way people today want to."
"Hobbes agreed with Bob, or rather the other way around," Dermot said, "that there are no objective standards of right and wrong, and those of society are based on power, on who was in control."
"Yes, that's the way I read this, too," Lando agreed.
"So, what is Hobbes' solution to the problem?"
"As I read it, he wants the state to impose a common standard, based on establishing public order. In other words, ending that warfare of each against every by imposing order from above."
"Well, I guess there's something to be said for that," Dermot said.
"Yeah, but something to be said against it, too. Look, boyfriend, if the only criterion for what is acceptable or unacceptable is public order imposed by force, where does that leave you and me?"
"Huh?"
"Just think about it. The state could very well decide that having a bunch of homos running around and disturbing people is not conducive to public order. We would be right back where we were a couple of generations ago, with homosexuality declared a crime. Even worse, we could be in a state which adopted a more authoritarian and violent solution to this problem, and actually tried to exterminate homosexuals, like they did in Nazi Germany and like what's going on now in Uganda."
"That sends chills down my spine," Dermot admitted. "So, where does that leave a poor unbeliever like me? No god, no morality, no public order."
"I don't have an iron-clad logical solution to the whole argument. After all, philosophers and theologians have been arguing about these things for centuries. You and I are sure not going to have the magic solution. I know that for me, the Church supplies answers, but for you poor unbelievers that's not an option," Lando grinned.
"So I'm condemned to be just lost, left with uncertainty, nothing definite? I don't care for that," Dermot complained.
"There are a few practical guidelines, I think, despite what Bob says."
"Like what?"
"Well, first of all, I think you can reject any outlook which is just off the wall. For example, I read about some dude who thinks all civilization was brought to us by aliens from outer space, and those aliens were the original gods. I mean, logic and common sense must have some purpose, so if what you encounter makes no sense, I think you can throw it out without worrying."
"Yeah. I go along with that. But you and Bob both said reason or logic alone gives you nothing to depend on," Dermot reminded his boyfriend.
"True," Lando asserted. "But, I'm talking simple practicality now, not philosophy, and practically speaking, there are a few other considerations. For example, check a particular theory against experience. If a philosophy says people act in a particular way, look at the evidence from history to see whether they really do act that way. If the two don't mesh, then you can throw out that option as well."
"Give me an example," Dermot asked.
"Well, how about this? Marx says communism will take over all other social systems as a result of the workings of inevitable laws of economics, and then the state will wither away. Did anything like that happen? No. Communism resulted in totalitarian states, which eventually became so oppressive that communism itself was rejected by most of the folk it was supposedly benefitting, and now seems to be itself withering away."
"Okay. I see that. Anything else?"
"Well, it seems to me that you have to consider the consequences of any particular outlook. Wasn't it you who said ideas have consequences? Even if you can't logically refute an idea, if the consequences of applying it are distasteful to most people, I think it can be rejected. Now, I know this is just my opinion, and implementing it could be seen as the imposition of a system of morality by power, but practically I think it's valid. And that means we can reject Hannibal's cannibalism."
"I don't think Bob will ever accept your criteria, but they seem pretty decent to me," Dermot said.
"Oh, I know he won't. Like I said, we argued about this before. But you asked about something to go by even without God, and this is the best I can do," Lando replied.
"Thanks. I think I understand the problems better."
"What about Calvin?" Lando asked, seemingly out of the blue.
"Huh? What Calvin?"
"Well, you said you looked up Hobbes because you liked the comic strip 'Calvin and Hobbes.' I was just wondering whether you looked up Calvin too."
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did," Dermot responded. "He's one of the reasons I decided I didn't believe in religion."
"How so?"
"As I understand it, he was a real gloomy Gus. He thought almost everything was sinful, and only a small group of the elect were going to heaven. I came across a book in the library called Calvin's Geneva by some dude named William Monter. It made quite an impression on me, so I remember it even a year later. Did you know Calvin had some guy thrown into prison for naming his son after some Roman emperor, and only let him out when the boy's name was changed to something out of the Bible? And Calvin had this idea called 'double predestination.' As I remember it, he thought God decided before we were ever born who went to heaven and who went to hell, and there was nothing we could do about it. All that sounded a lot like the preacher in the church my Uncle Steve went to, especially the part about everyone going to hell. So, I decided that was just not fair, and even if there were a God, I didn't want anything to do with him."
"I can sure understand that," Lando agreed. "But that's not the way I understand Christ's teachings. If you read the Gospels, like we're doing in class, you see that all along Jesus tells people to do this and avoid that in order to arrive at the Kingdom of God. It's pretty obvious to me that we have some choice in the matter."
"I sure hope so. That seems to fit your common sense rule better than old man Calvin," Dermot admitted. "You know, I'm kind of enjoying this, even if Bob does frustrate me. I never had discussions like this at my old school."
Lando smiled. "I think guys who are sixteen are old enough to talk about serious things, at least some of the time. But not all the time. How about investigating that carton of ice cream I saw arrive with Aunt Carrie this afternoon?"
"Yeah! After all this brain work, I need something for the body as well, and my body craves ice cream," Dermot agreed.
Maybe it was the ice cream, but after that Dermot felt a little better about the future. He completed his preparations for school without more anguish, and on Tuesday he left for Baltimore in a good mood. After all, as Dermot told himself, most guys his age did not even worry about things like this. How many of his peers, even here at Baltimore, really thought about the reasons for why they do things. Most kids just do what other kids do. Perhaps it was knowing that he was different different in his sexual orientation, but also different is his experience of living on the streets for months which made him question things. Oh well, there was nothing wrong with being different. His restored optimism seemed justified as classes began, and he made it through the first three periods without even hearing about his outburst in class on Monday.
In second period, Mr. O'Brien was preparing the students for the showing of Mel Gibson's film, The Passion of the Christ, which came out in 2004. O'Brien had already told the class that he intended to show the film on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, as it was far too long for a single class. As class began, he reminded the kids, "I'm sure none of you have forgotten that we have no classes on Good Friday, so we will finish this film on Thursday. As you attend church over the Triduum, pay special attention to the Passion Gospels that will be read, and try to remember which parts are in the film, and which are not. You might even actually study the Gospel accounts. When we get back after Easter, each of you will turn in a two hundred word essay on what in the film is taken from the Gospels. What are some other sources Gibson used?"
"I read something about some nuns who had visions," one student said.
"Yes. You all have access to the internet. Check out sources," O'Brien admonished them.
"I believe some people objected to the title for some reason," Lando commented.
"That is true. There were some critics who did not like the title because they were thinking only of the word 'passion' in the sense of something we feel strongly about. Where do you suppose Gibson got his use of the term?" O'Brien asked.
"Well, there are those readings in church which are called the Passion Gospels," Lando responded.
"And they cover what?" O'Brien pushed.
"The events in Christ's life from Maundy Thursday to his death on Good Friday."
"Good. Any other sources for this usage?"
"Well, I'm not sure about the usage," another student said, "but those are the same events as are covered in the Stations of the Cross, and we do those every Friday during Lent. They start with Pilate condemning Jesus to death, and end with the body of Jesus laid in the tomb."
"Very good," O'Brien encouraged the class. "Anything else?"
"I don't know why Thursday is called Monday Thursday," one of the less intelligent members of the class stated.
"It's not Monday Thursday, Jeff. It's Maundy Thursday. That comes from the Latin hymn that begins 'Mandatum novum do vobis.' Does anyone know what that means?" O'Brien asked.
"A new commandment I give you," Lando replied. "I remember that from the account of the Last Supper. And it's in the Gospel of St. John, right after the part where Jesus washes the feet of the Apostles."
"Very good, Lando. Before we begin the film, I might mention that there is one other source for the limitation of the story to the period from Thursday to Friday. Some of you, at least, are familiar with the rosary. The Sorrowful Mysteries cover the events from the Agony in the Garden to the Crucifixion and Death of Our Lord. All this has been around for ages, and, while it might not be familiar to the general public, you would think that critics, at least, would do a little research before making ill-informed comments. Now, let's begin the film."
Dermot was determined to make up that C he received on a previous exam, even though he still was not convinced it was justified, so he paid close attention to the film, making notes on aspects he did not remember from his reading of the Gospels.
As the class came to a close, several students complained about the fact that the language spoken by the actors was not English. "No," Mr. O'Brien admitted, "Gibson attempted to adhere to historical accuracy by using Aramaic, the language actually spoken in Palestine at the time of Jesus, and Latin for the Roman characters. He failed in one respect. The Latin pronunciation spoken in the film is church Latin, which did not develop until centuries later, as Latin was evolving into Italian. Pilate would have spoken the classical pronunciation. So, I have given all of you something to mention in your essays."
In Study Hall during the next period, Dermot took another make-up exam, and felt confident of the results. Although approached with some trepidation, the Currents Events class passed without incident. Dermot remained quiet, while his fellow students talked about the Chinese government blocking YouTube, and about a suicide attack in Pakistan which left at least fifty people dead. The whole world was not talking about Dermot Barry after all.
By the time lunch arrived, Dermot was ready to give a huge sigh of relief. He was feeling confident enough that, as he and Lando walked from home room to the cafeteria, he again hinted that he was expecting something special from his boyfriend after Easter. To his dissatisfaction, once again Lando avoided the subject, talking about the Religion class. That bothered Dermot, who began to fear that Lando was losing interest in him as a boyfriend.
On the way home, Dermot again raised the issue of something special happening once Lent were over. He could not be explicit because Emily was in the car with them, but there should have been no doubt about his meaning. Once again, Lando simply began talking about something else. This left Dermot very troubled.
That evening, after dinner, as Dermot worked at his school assignments, he remained troubled with the nagging feeling that all was not right in his relationship with Lando. About eight o'clock Lando appeared, knocking on Dermot's door.
"Can we talk?"
Dermot was sure Lando was going to tell him he no longer wanted to be boyfriends. He just knew that it was his past, his time as a rent boy, which finally turned off this scion of affluence and respectability.
"Yeah, I guess," Dermot said with resignation.
"Look, I know you've been dropping hints about what we can do once Lent is over. I've got a problem with that," Lando said.
Fearing the worst, Dermot remained quiet.
"Dermot, I'm scared!" his boyfriend blurted out.
That left Dermot completely at sea.
"Scared? Scared of what?"
"Of you."
"That doesn't make any sense. Why would you be scared of me?" Dermot demanded.
"You know so much I don't," Lando replied.
Again, Dermot was floored. Here was the guy who had been expostulating on philosophy and theology telling him, the poor boy from the streets, that he knew so much more. What was Lando thinking?
"Lando, I have no idea what you're talking about. All along, you've been the one who had answers, and I was the one with questions. What the hell are you up to?"
"You said yesterday that you liked the conversations we were having about Bob and Hobbes and the like. Yeah, I'm pretty good at things like that. But that's all in the mind. It's cerebral. You have had so much more experience of practical things than I have. I really don't know shit about being a boyfriend," Lando confessed.
"You think I do? I've never had a boyfriend either, you know. I thought you told me you had a couple of boyfriends before I came on the scene," Dermot objected.
"No. I never had a boyfriend. What I might have said was I had a couple of hook-ups with other guys. Bob was one. I'm not sure I want to go into that too much. There for a while, I thought Bob and I were two of a kind, really meant for each other. It didn't work out."
"Two of a kind! You two are about as different as can be!" Dermot exclaimed.
Lando sighed. "Yeah, I see that now. But, like you said yesterday, it's fun to exercise the old brain. I loved debating with Bob, and, when I found that he was gay, too, it just seemed like we would fit together perfectly. At least, it seemed that way to me. I guess I was naive, or just plain stupid. In the long run, you can't be really close to someone with whom you disagree on essentials."
"This shook you up, didn't it?"
"Yeah. And it's part of the reason why I'm scared now. I was really bummed out when Bob told me all there was between us was some atmos being moved by impersonal forces. Dermot, I think I love you, but I can't exist on that superficial level. There's got to be more than impersonal forces," Lando stated with considerable strength.
"Boyfriend, you think too much. I don't know about the ultimate truth of things, but I think I love you, too, and I know it's not superficial and it's not impersonal. It's you, Lando, not some atoms or molecules, that I'm interested in. Come here, and kiss me!"