Disclaimer: This story contains sexual contact between two guys. If you are under aged or find it offensive, then please do not complain and move on. This story is based on mostly fiction but does have some non-fiction parts in it as well, some of them personally to me. The names have been changed throughout the entire story. This story is copywritted by Joe 2003.
**Note- I am using a new E-Mail to receive mails from Nifty. On my old one, there is a greater chance that I could delete a few important mails. My new e-mail for Nifty is at the bottom, after the story, thanks.
Depression Takes Over By Joe
Chapter 3
He put his head back down until he started to mumble.
"What are you talking about? You're the one giving me the finger on the bus, and then dirty looks in the hall."
"...And the fact that you screamed fuck you and gave me the finger with both of your hands while I was on the bus I guess didn't register in your head?"
"What are you talking about Rob?" Kevin said in a confused voice. "I wasn't giving you the finger, I was giving it to this fucker in a few seats behind you"
"Re-Really?" I said nervously.
"Yes"
Wow, I felt so stupid. I was starting to turn red. All I was able to get out of my mouth after that was stupid.
"Okay then Kevin" He looked up at me and I just turned around, walking right into a desk and dropping my shit onto the floor. Everyone just kept laughing, and I noticed that Kevin was too. It was kind of odd seeing how he had such a serious look on his face before. I picked my stuff up and I walked over to my desk, slouching into my seat and feeling like a total dumbass. I just wanted to leave the class and not be seen by anyone. Luckily, the class ended fast, and I walked quite fast out the door to my locker. On the way, I saw two of my friends, Nicole and Jessica, who were twins. I went out with one of them, which is a whole other story and the other I became good friends with.
"Hey Rob, what you doing?"
"Uh, just going home, heh"
"You in a bad mood or something?" Nicole asked.
"Just I made a fool of myself in 9th period, but whatever its over with now, heh" I then looked behind them and saw Kevin laughing with a few of his friends. He looked so cute laughing. They then left him and he started walking this way. I noticed Jessica and Nicole were both looking at what I was staring at. They both knew I liked him also.
"Well I got to go" I said as I started to turn around.
"Rob wait, don't walk so fast" Jessica said.
I didn't really listen to her. I just sort of walked down the stairs and down the hall to my bus. I was still wondering why she wanted me to stop walking. I don't think she would have been mad at me for walking away, but it could be possible. I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to be there anymore. I got home about 20 minutes later, and I just lie down on my bed and turn on my TV. I always look through the movie channels to see what is on. I like watching movies more then watching shows. There was nothing on, so I just put on the radio. I found my 8th grade yearbook from middle school. I haven't looked at it in quite some time. I started to read what people wrote in my yearbook. I then started to get into the pictures of our class, and I was getting closer to Kevin's picture. Once I got to it, I stared at it and I just smiled. He looked so adorable just seeing his face smiling. I was like waiting for him to end up being in my room or something just so I could kiss those lips of his. I then went more into the yearbook and I saw another picture of him when there was a concert. He looked so cute all dressed up with a tie n all. I just wanted to like pin him down to the floor right there.
As the day went on, I found some good movies on here and there and I watched them until I realized I should probably do the homework that I had to get done (yes there was homework this soon into the school year, fucking teachers). The rest of the week was basically the normal. I saw people here and there in school, and I didn't really talk to Kevin at all throughout the week. That weekend I ended up going over Nicole's house to hang out. There were a few other people there, and of course one of them was Kevin. Of course I was happy that he was there but I was also nervous that he was. I am a shy little fucktard, so that's how it goes. We ended up just talking here and there about life and eating what was there. Time was flying by, and staring at Kevin just helped pass that time. It ended up that everyone but Kevin and I went into Nicole's room. She said it would only be a minute because it was private. Which was odd because she didn't really hide things from me. I saw the clock the room and Kevin and I sat in silence for a good three minutes until he decided to break the silence.
"So..." It wasn't much that he said but it still sounded cute. I started to crack a smile, so I just put my head down.
"Yeah, a minute she said, that's bull, heh." I said in a low voice.
"Am I that boring??" He said in a sarcastic voice. Then he started to chuckle a little, which made me smile again.
"How would I know if you are boring? We never have really talked." Wow, one thing came out of my mouth that actually made sense, at least I think it did in my head.
"That's true, we never do talk. So lets talk now, they are still in her room."
"Alrighty..."
"So Rob, you went out with Nicole, right? How long did you go out with her??" That's no surprise, seeing how the only thing we really know about each other is that we are good friends with Nicole.
"Only a few months, if that. You went out with her too, didn't you?"
"Yeah, for a few months also. She is a really great person"
"Yeah, she is" I said as I was trying to think of something else to say. If I could say the right thing here, maybe I could get a hint or two about himself.
"So, whom did you go out with after her?
"Don't laugh, but no one", he said in a sort of weird way.
"I wouldn't laugh, I haven't gone out with anyone since her either"
"Really? Why not?" He said in a puzzling way.
I didn't really know what to say. I could just come out and say 'I am gay'. I don't think that would go over quite well. I wanted to give him an answer that doesn't say I am gay but doesn't say I am all over girls. I was lost at what to say.
"Rob? You still there, hah."
"Oh yeah, sorry." Ugh, the worst time to lose concentration.
"I guess you can say I have my reasons?" Damn, that sounds really stupid. I don't think it as the best thing to say.
"Hmm, alright."
"What about you. You gone out with anyone after her?"
"Nope"
"Why not?" I asked him
"Well..." he was just about to give some answer that would probably help me, but then Nicole's room door opened and they came running out saying hello again to us.
"Damn, what took you two so long" We both asked.
"It was just a bunch of boring talking. We figured we would cut you some slack and let you relax from hearing us talking our long talks"
Kevin and I just laughed to what they said. About an hour later, we came to realize it was like 12:30am. So we all ended up on our way home.
As I got to my house, I just kept thinking of what Kevin's answer might have been. It could have been something like 'I am just not finding anyone' or something that would hint towards that he is all into girls. I know I probably should not have my hopes up on him being gay or bi because there is a big chance that he probably isn't. I hate to think things that I know or can pretty much say wont happen. I hate to think out of reality. Yet, there are always exceptions.
About one hour later, I found myself in my bed again tired as hell. I looked over towards my desk. I saw that my yearbook was right by my keyboard. So I got my lazy ass up, got the book, and went back into bed. I looked at his picture a few more times. I then put it down on the floor and started to think deeper into things. Usually when that happens, I get depressed. Now, I hate getting depressed, but after feeling depressed I feel a little relief so I try to just put up with it and end it. I started to think again of how I want to have a guy of my own to be with. It's the usual feeling of being alone. I really felt like I had no one around me that I could go to. I have my friends, but they can only understand to a certain point. I just kept thinking things like that for another twenty minutes before falling asleep.
I awoke to the dreadful day of Sunday. During the school year I always hated Sundays, as most kids probably do. School was the next day, and weekend...ended. There were also two other reasons why I hated Sunday. One reason for why I hate Sundays is only during the school year. That reason is that there is no Sex and the City!!! I so loved that show. It was fucking hilarious and probably one of the best shows on TV. The other reason for why I hated Sunday throughout the year was I had to go to church that day. Since my dad is obsessed with Catholicism (sorry if any of this religion talk offends you). My dad tried to raise his son (me) and his daughter very catholic. I am not sure how my sister feels about it, because she is good with playing my parents but me, I despise it. I hate going to church, I just stand/sit/kneel there. I never say a word, not even when we hand shake. Anyway, I always end up drifting off into my thoughts and sometimes it is about how I told my parents.
It has been a little more then a week now. My mom said she is fine with it, now. My dad just said he will have to live with it, and I am still not sure what he means by that. Since I told them, the relationship between my mom and I seem to be the same, but with my dad it is different. Him and I never really talk, and if we do he talks normal, but with a bit of an attitude with the talking, which aggravates me. I guess that is his problem though, not mine. I don't know if it is wrong for me to say it is his problem but that's how I feel. He used to make fun of me and how I 'might be gay'. They have caught me with some gay stuff on my computer, but I think I convinced them I wasn't gay. He used to tease me here and there about it. 'What are you doing on the computer at 2am Rob? I hope you are not going into faggot chat rooms' is one thing he said. He also had a little conversation with my mom while my sister; dad, mom and I were in the car like one month ago.
We were just coming back from seeing my grandmother and we were saying how we wouldn't put up with each other when my parents got old. My mom then said...
"Rob, when I get older either take care of me yourself or put me somewhere, don't let my future daughter-in-law put up with me" she said, or something similar to that.
"Wait, are you talking about Rob???" My dad blurts out.
"Yes, I am" My mom said.
"Well be careful, you might just end up having a brother-in-law, haha" I wanted to kick him in the face so hard. I didn't even care that he was the one driving.
"No, he wouldn't do something like that, I wouldn't let that happen." Ok, was it just me, or am I the only one ruling my life. I can be with whomever I fucking please to be with. I was mad at my mom for saying that too, but when my dad said what he said, that made me furious.
As Sunday night came to an end, I was a little out of it from really thinking about things with my parents, but I eventually got over it. I went online and talked to people and also had my radio on, so I occupied my time. Right before I drifted off to sleep, I said to myself how I must find out what Kevin was going to say that one night. I know it might not be what I wanted to hear, but somehow I must find out what he was going to say. The only problem is, I am such a shy person to just ask him out of nowhere. I ended up deciding that I would bring it up either in the beginning or the end of 9th period since he is already in near me. I was so excited to see him again, yet so nervous about what he would say. Yet, all I could do is wait.
I am so sorry that it took me a while to get this next chapter out. I promise that I will try to get the next chapter out sooner then it took me to get this one out. I would love to hear from you. I appreciate any feedback from anyone. I always answer any mails that I receive. Please send all of your comments to the following e-mail. I am going to be using a new e-mail address for Nifty. The e-mail is J0kerbites@yahoo.com.