This is a fictional story. It is based on many experiences and fantasies of the author. If you are really into graphic sex, it may not satisfy your purpose for coming here. If you like to hear of real love and real teen angst, with a little sex thrown in, you are in the right place. There may be some amount of graphic sex between males. If this is objectionable to you, or you are legally too young to be here, you are cordially invited to press your back button.
Characters: Denny (Dennis Andrew Miggs), 20
Garth Roth, 22
Randy Small, 24
Bob, Denny's Brother 3 years older
Gail, Bob's wife
Jack, Denny's oldest brother, 9 years older
Jack's son's, Jacky, Bobby And DennyToo
Denny's dad, James
Denny's mom, Carol
Ray, Denny's dad's Deputy D.A. friend
Randy's mom and step dad, who shall remain nameless!
Roddy, Flight Attendant
From Chapter 9:
"Okay, Randy here's the deal." I told him what Garth had said to me. He was alternately sad and bewildered -- as I was -- and also livid. He said he couldn't believe that Garth would lay that on me.
"He told me not to wait."
"That's bull shit! If he didn't want you to wait, why did he tell you all of that? That fucker's manipulating you!"
"Calm down!" I said. Some of the other passengers were looking our way. "Look! I don't see it that way. And besides, I'm glad he told me. I would have forever wondered if he really loved me or not. Now I know."
"Still, if he loved you so much, he would have shut the f - " I gave him a sharp look. "Sorry."
"I told him I'd wait." I said, waiting for the explosion. It didn't come. "No promises." I added
"Well, I -- I'm sorry, but I don't see it your way -- but I will try to `take care' of you, as he asked." He squeezed my hand, then grabbed his coat and put it over our hands. I looked over and there was the most incredible look of obvious love on his face. He kept hold of my hand.
I silently mouthed "I love you" to him, and squeezed his hand back.
Chapter 10
Roddy was there at the door to greet us as we left the plane. As we neared the door, Randy put his hand on my shoulder, as we passed Roddy. Roddy smiled his biggest smile, and winked at me. I was sure that it wasn't missed by Randy, as he squeezed my shoulder just after that.
In the car: "He is cute!" Randy said.
"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about!" I answered, playfully.
"I think you should call him!"
"What -- and tell him I want him to meet my friend?"
"NO! For you! You need a diversion. Anyway -- you said that you told him it would just be friends."
"Well, maybe -- but I intend on waiting for Garth's decision."
"How long?" He demanded.
"SIGH I don't know. Not forever, I suppose."
"Well, call him -- just to be friends."
"Maybe I will."
When we got home, there was a message on the answering machine:
"Good! You have a machine! This is Roddy -- (You know - the flight attendant?) I know you can't possibly be home yet, but I wanted to say a few more things to you before you left. There was not enough time. When you get this call me if you can. Doesn't matter what time. I have odd hours anyway. See yah!"
I looked at Randy. He had a very pleased look on his face. "Shut up!" I said.
"Well?" he exulted, "You can't just be rude, now, can you?"
I dialed his number. "Hi, this is Roddy! Leeeeeeeave a message!" BEEP!
"Okay, I guess we get to play phone tag! This is Denny. (You know, the guy on the plane?) Heh! As if I would forget! Well, I won't give you the same option of calling me at any time. Sorry, but it's 9:30 and if it's past 10:00 PM I'll be snoring, I hope! I have class at nine in the morning, so if you wanna call about 8:30 I can talk quick. Laterz!"
"Laterz?" Randy said.
"Hey, if I gonna be one, I may as well speak the lingo!"
He shook his head at me. "Sigh As long as you don't start to swish!"
I shook my butt at him! "And what if I do?"
"I won't let you suck my dick again!"
"Don't promise anything you can't back up!" I retorted.
"I give up!" And he did. He shed his clothes and went into the shower. As soon as he turned the water on, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Denny?"
"Roddy?"
"HI!"
"Hello."
"Do you want to meet for -- lunch or something -- maybe next week?"
"I don't know, Roddy. I guess it might -- um -- you see -- I'm kinda -- I'm sort of waiting for -- Aw shit! (Sorry!) Okay! When is a good time for you?"
"Well, I am in town this Wednesday and Thursday, if it's not too soon. You pick the time."
"I don't have any classes til 2:30 on Wednesday. Why don't you come about -- lets say -- 10:30ish?"
"Great! Give me directions and I'll be there!"
I told him how to get to our dorm room and we said goodbye. For some reason, I decided not to say anything -- yet -- to Randy. He had a long day on Wednesday, so he would not even need to know.
When Randy came out of the bathroom, he was careful to cover up before he slipped into bed. I went to the bathroom and showered. It felt great to stand in the hot water. I couldn't help thinking of showers that I had taken with Garth. I tried to think of something else. I wondered what it would be like to shower with Roddy. He was nearly as small as Randy, but not as well built. I felt guilty -- almost dirty -- thinking of him, while I was supposed to be waiting for Garth. I got out when I was finished. When I opened the door, Randy had turned off the light. He wasn't asleep. His breathing was still ragged and quick. I slipped into my bed. It felt good to be home in my own bed, nothing on, between my own sheets.
I lay there, torn about my thoughts. It felt to guilty to think of Roddy, so I couldn't help thinking of Garth. The more I thought about him, our last conversation, how tortured he was, the more upset I got. Nighttime is always the hardest. First tears started to squeeze out of my closed eyes, then I started to breath harder, then I couldn't help letting out a big sob.
"You want me to -- hold you, dude?"
"Mm-hmm" is all I could manage, in a high pitched moan.
He came over and I felt the coolness as he lifted the sheet. He snuggled up close to me. He was also naked. He put his upper arm over my waist and then up my torso, his hand on my chest. I just kept weeping. He squeezed me and whispered. "It's gonna be okay, Dude. Just let it out." I did, but not too much. We fell asleep that way.
For the first time since we had occasionally slept together, he was not clinging to the edge of the bed. We woke in the same position was fell asleep in. well, almost. When we fell asleep, there was nothing poking me in the butt! Since his arm was around me, and I didn't want to embarrass him, I just turned over and pretended to stay asleep. My turning woke him up, and he rolled out of bed. As he disappeared into the bathroom, he said, "Time to get up Dude!" When he walked back out, he was still half staff. I wondered if he knew how that made my insides clinch.
Monday and Tuesday were a blur. We didn't speak again of Roddy, because I never told Randy about our date. Well, maybe not exactly a date, but ^Å
Wednesday morning, Randy had a 9:00 AM class, so I was not surprised that he was already gone when something woke me up at 9:30. I lazily looked over at Randy's unmade bed. That was unusual. He always was meticulous about making his bed. Then I heard it again. What woke me up was a gentle tapping on the door. I got up and opened the door a crack. There stood Roddy, with an apologetic smile.
"Sorry to come so early, Denny. There was not as much traffic as I expected. I guess all the bad traffic is earlier."
"It's okay," I lied, "Just give me a sec." I closed the door and whipped on some boxers. "Okay, I'm decent."
"Oh damn!" He quipped. I was hoping you would be indecent!" He had a delicious smile on his face. Here in my own room, he looked even cuter.
"Roddy, I don't want to lead you on. I was not too concerned, because the commute for you, here, was not that bad, even if there had been a lot of traffic."
"What's up Denny?"
"I'm kind of -- well -- waiting for another -- I mean a good -- (Shit!) My -- er -- lover -- is going through some bad shit, and I just -- I'm sort of waiting for him."
"You mean Randy?"
"No, his name's Garth. He is the reason I was flying when we -- er -- you saw me." I turned around, looking for something to throw on. "Hey, make yourself comfortable -- on the bed or the chair -- and I will be just a minute -- quick shower."
I went into the bathroom, took off my boxers and turned on the hot water. Then I turned and on the mirror was a note:
"Denny -- got a call from my mom. Something bad's happening there with the ass hole. I gotta go. See you tonight!"
I panicked! I bolted out the door and to my phone. As I dialed, I saw Roddy watching me, wide eyed. Then it hit me I was completely nude. My dad answered.
"DAD! Randy has left -- I'm not too sure how long ago -- for his mom's place. He got a call from her and apparently his step-dad is threatening her. I guess. He didn't go into details in the note he left me. Will you call Ray and see what he thinks? Call me back!"
I hung up the phone and was shaking. I looked at Randy, then down at my nude body. I started to apologize. "Hey, it's okay with me!" He grinned. "The view is great from here!"
"Roddy, I'm sorry, but I have a very bad feeling about what is happeneing. Maybe we better postpone this `til some other time. I gotta go to my friend out in Garden grove."
Roddy looked disappointed and concerned at the same time. "Look , guy, you look too stressed to even try to drive. Let me take you, and maybe you can fill me in on a few details as we drive."
I was stressed! Too stressed to argue with him. I threw on yesterday's sweats and a clean tee, then my Nikes. As we were leaving, dad called my cell phone back. "Denny -- Ray's on his way over there. Nothing we can do. I'll let you - "
"Dad, I'm already on my way," I lied, "I'll come home, and then maybe you will know something else by the time I get there."
"I'll be here. I was on my way out the door to work when you called, but I'll call in. Bye."
I crashed out the door of the dorm at a full run. "Damn car is half way on the other side of the campus!"
"Denny! Wait! My car is right here in the visitors' lot. We'll take it."
I was too preoccupied to even notice at the time. He drove a BMW Z-3. Light blue convertible. As we pulled on to the freeway, "Okay, what's going on, Denny?"
I told him the skeleton of the story of Randy's violent step-dad. I didn't mention the sexual abuse. Man! Roddy knew his way around the L.A. freeways! He wove his little car in and out of traffic with the expertise of a seasoned cab driver. Before I knew it, We were at my folk's place. I phoned dad when we were near, and he met us outside.
He looked at the little two-seater and said, "Come with me!"
Roddy said, "I'll follow." He seemed to know I needed to be alone with my dad.
As soon as we got into the car, I could see that Dad had a worried look on his face. "It's bad, Son. He shot Randy's mom and Randy -- then turned the gun on himself. Randy is the only one who is still alive -- barely. He is at the hospital, still in emergency."
Just then Dad's phone rang. "Yeah? Yeah. Uh hm -- we're on our way now. Okay. Five minutes!"
"That was Ray. Randy's out of the emergency room, but is now in intensive care. Foolish kid. Did he think he was going to be a hero or something?"
I started to cry. "Denny, it's okay to cry, but sometimes you have top control it! If Randy is awake and conscious, he'll need you to be strong."
I realized he was right, and stopped crying. "God, I hope he's okay!" was all I cold say.
"You didn't tell us anything about your trip, Denny. How'd it go?"
"Well, kind of better than I imagined, but - - - I won't know for awhile. Garth is struggling a lot."
"And who is the guy in the Beemer? A classmate?"
I didn't want to have to explain to my dad. "Sort of." Luckily we were at the hospital. We nearly ran to the emergency entrance. Dad asked where Randy Small was.
"Intensive care. Are you a relative?"
"No, but - "
"Well, no one but relatives - "
"He HAS no relatives!" my dad yelled, then calming, "Where is the intensive care unit he's in?" Just then Ray appeared. "James! Over here!"
We walked to Ray. "Come with me. He is asking for you, James. I told him you were here."
I was glad to hear that he was conscious enough to ask for -- what? My dad? Well, I was a little disappointed. Maybe he needed a dad figure right now. My dad surely had shown him a lot of love the weekend we stayed there.
When we got to the room, only Ray and my dad were allowed in the room. I sat and put my head in my hands. I was about to let loose, then remembered what Dad had said. I caught myself. I started deep breathing. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Don't hyperventilate, guy. Roddy said. We don't need for you to pass out right now!" He squeezed my shoulder. That almost put me over the edge again.
"Denny!" Ray commanded. "Come in! Randy wants to see you." I started for the door. I don't know if Ray could read my face or what. "He doesn't need preaching right now -- only your love."
I walked through the door and to Randy's bed. He looked up to me -- and with effort, said, "Pretty stupid of me huh?" His head was wrapped in a bandage. His right eye was completely red. "The bullet was -behind my - eye. The doc said it was -- too close -- to entering my - brain. Miracle -- you know?"
"Thank God!" I said. "Is there -- is there anything we -- I can do?"
"I could -- use -- some -- of your - energy." I turned and looked at the doc. My dad was whispering something in his ear. He nodded to me. I bent over and half lay on his chest, not any weight -- and his arms came up around my neck. He pulled himself up with more strength than I imagined he had. I wrapped my arms around his back. He squeezed me in a death grip. I looked in his eyes. They were overflowing with tears. "Sorry, Dude. Can't seem to help it!" I lay my head on his chest -- mostly so he could not see my own as they sprung from my eyes. Then he went limp. I nearly dropped him. I looked and he was out like someone had flipped a switch. He stopped breathing. I gently put him down and the doctor moved in and put two fingers at his neck. The doc shook his head. Just then, Randy took a violent breath and started breathing again.
"Guess he was not ready to go!" The doc said. "Nurse, I want constant observation on this boy. Everyone else, please leave the room. He seems to have fulfilled whatever need he had to see people -- for the moment. He will need to rest now." He followed us out. "Is there anyone who can stay" the doctor asked. "If -- when he wakes up, it would be good to see someone he knows."
"I'm not leaving!" I said. "Dad, if you want to go to work, I can -- want to -- stay."
"I -- okay." Dad said. "That would probably be best anyway." He hurried out.
I turned to Roddy. "I'm sorry Roddy. You may as well go. I'll get e ride back. Call me later, k?"
"Okay. But if it's all right with you, I'll stay awhile longer. I've got nothing else planned anyway. You might appreciate the company."
I couldn't argue with him. I really wanted to be alone, but I also didn't want to be rude. As if reading my thoughts, he added, "I won't bug you if you want to just veg for awhile. I know what that's like,"
"That's okay." I said, "I guess I would kind of hate waiting by myself." Okay, I lied!
As soon as my dad and Ray were gone, I leaned back and closed my eyes. Roddy spoke up. "You haven't eaten anything this morning. Can I go out and get you something? Or maybe there is a cafeteria here."
Actually," I started, "There is a cafeteria in the basement. But I don't want to get that far away. But -- there's a Jack-in-the-Box a block further, down the street. Maybe a sourdough jack would be okay. Thanks.
He left. The room was nicely darkened. I finally was left alone, and could let some of my own frustration out. I closed my eyes, and the tears just started to flow. I didn't cry vocally, just a gallon of tears, or so before I fell asleep. When I awoke, there was a sourdough jack and a Pepsi on the table, but no Roddy. I was curiously looking around, as I took my last bite of my sandwich, when the nurse came out of Randy's room. "Oh, Mr. Miggs, you're awake. Your friends are in the room."
I sprang from my chair and ran to the door. I stopped, took a big breath and pushed the door open. Roddy was sitting on the edge of Randy's bed, and they were talking very animated. Randy was actually smiling. When he saw me, his smile waned. It was like I had brought him back to real life.
"Randy! I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble." I wondered if he knew about his mom. "Dude! This is Rod Stewart!"
I grinned. "I know!"
"Yeah, but what you don't know, is that he went to Garden Grove High. He was a year behind me! He was such a little boy when I graduated, I didn't recognize him on the plane!"
I almost laughed! He STILL looked like a little boy! Then the two of them both laughed at my expression. "Randy was on varsity ball team. I was JV!" Roddy said. "I didn't think he knew I existed. But he did!"
"Well, with that name, everyone knew you!" And Randy laughed again. "I'm surprised you didn't know him, Denny. He was a senior when you were a freshman."
"Hmmm - -nope!" I felt kind of lame.
"I think the only reason you knew me was because I played JV ball." Roddy said. "I looked barely old enough to be in jr. high!" They both laughed again. I felt left out.
"When you came in, we were laughing about how the other guys hated both of us!" Randy said. "We actually got more attention from the girls than they did -- because they thought we were so `cute'!"
"And cuddly!" Randy added.
"Funny thing was," said Roddy, "I was not the least interested in them!"
"I was!" Randy interjected. "I completely mistook their attention! I wanted so bad to hit on them! They just thought I was cute -- and GAY!!"
"Hah! They KNEW I was gay!" Roddy said. "And you know what? They never told any of the guys! I think the coach knew -- but he liked me as first baseman, so he kept my secret."
"So," I said, "You knew -- back then?"
"Oh, I knew all right. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel different. By the time I was in high school, I figured it out. What I can't figure out, looking back, was how the other guys didn't know! I was so obvious when I stared at them in the locker room!"
"They loved that!" Randy said. "They were so proud of their (well most of them) newly enlarged anatomy!"
Randy scrunched up his face. A lock of hair was making it itch. Roddy gently brushed it up with his fingers. The look that passed between them brought such a surprisingly strong feeling of resentment out of me!
But that was not the worst!
Roddy told me he was changing his flight schedule, so he could stay and help Randy with his studies! I felt - - betrayed -- no! Jealous! And I felt stupid and petty! I should be glad! I was, after all, waiting for Garth.
Right?!!
That didn't make me feel any less deserted. The doctor walked in.
"Hey, Randy. Remember me?"
"Of course I remember you, Doctor!"
"The nurse told me you were feeling better, but I didn't expect you to be so animated! This is good news."
"So, I can go home?"
"Oh, no!" the doc said. "We still need to keep you for up to a week -- in case of any secondary symptoms -- especially watching for infection. But we will move you out of the ICU tomorrow morning. I'll be back a little later to look in on you." The doctor exited. I stepped out and caught up with him.
"Doctor!"
"Yes?"
"Doctor -- does Randy know about his mom?"
"Yes. We told him. But I suppose he will deal with it later. I'm so glad you guys were here to divert his attention!"
I went back into the room. "Your dad said I would be coming back to your house when I get out of here." Randy said. "I guess we're more like brothers than ever now, with my mom - -" Tears sprang from his eyes. "Damn! You know, she sucked as a mom! I mean, really! I told her what was going on and she either ignored it or didn't believe me. I hated her for that! But she was -- um -- she was -- my mother!" he started to blubber like a baby. I wanted to much to hold him -- reassure him. But Roddy was already doing that! Luckily neither of them caught me glaring before I checked it myself.
Roddy said, "Listen, guy," he was speaking to Randy, "I need to get Denny back to the dorm. But I'll come right back as soon as I drop him off."
I felt completely powerless. How had I lost control of my life! I was the one who was supposed to be consoling and taking care of Randy, but how could I complain when I was supposed to be waiting for Garth. I swallowed my pride -- and nearly choked on it! Roddy talked a mile a minute on the way back to UCLA. I didn't even think he noticed how quiet I was. Finally, as I was getting out of the car, "You gonna be okay, guy?"
I wasn't very enthusiastic as I said, "Yeah. Thanks for the ride."
He drove of, leaving me in the parking lot of my dorm. I looked up, to gather enough strength to walk up to my room, without attracting attention. As soon as I got into the room, I hit my bed and it all came out like a dam had burst. I was disappointed, hurt, pissed off, confused, and disgusted -- with myself. It was 6:30 in the evening. I was just about cried out, and almost asleep when there was a knock at my door.
I ignored it at first. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. Then the knock was more insistent. "Denny!" It was my dad. "Open the door, Son!"
"Just a minute!" I ran to the bathroom and washed my face then went to the door. It was dark in the room, so I hoped he would not see my eyes.
He saw them. "I thought you might need some company. You didn't look too good this morning, and I stopped by the hospital. I put two and three together and probably came up with four, but I just thought you may need to talk a bit."
I opened the door further and he came in. He saw me and just stretched out his arms to me. I was there in an instant! I was wrong! I DID have some tears left in me! He did not tell me to stop this time. It felt so good just to be held by my dad! He let me finish my emoting, then he spoke.
"Denny, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. But I know you must feel -- well -- very mixed up!" I let him keep talking. "I of course knew why you went to Kansas City. I also saw the way you looked at this -- Roddy was it?" I nodded. "I also saw the way you looked at Randy! Looks to me like you have some decisions to make! Can I help you in any way, Son?"
We were on my bed. I just kept my face on Dad's chest. I shook my head. "I don't know, Dad. "You're right. I am very confused! I should not have made that date with Roddy!"
"That was a date?"
"It started out that way. It got interrupted by Randy's -- emergency. And I felt so shitty -- sorry -- guilty because I was supposed to be waiting for Garth to make up his mind. But that guilt seems to be a moot point now. It looks like Randy and Roddy really hit it off. I should be glad. Shouldn't I?"
"Denny, you're 20 years old. You have the rest of your education to finish. You don't have to be worrying about who you want to -- love -- yet. BUT! I know you are! Do you know how I know? Because I can still remember being your age. With me it was three girls, but it has to be the same. Maybe I can give you some perspective. When you are a few years older -- not many -- you will look at this and smile. You will see that it was so obvious what the solution should have been. But now you can't see it!"
I looked at Dad. He was smiling. "But, I said, "What is this obvious thing that only I can't see?"
"I didn't say that only you can't see it. But later on it will look like it was obvious. Just trying to show you a different perspective. I know I have not been as close as I should have, maybe, but I want you to know that any time you want to talk -- well I can now be here for you."
I just sighed and hugged him closer, and put my face back on his chest.
Notes: Are you as confused as I am? Probably more than I. I, at least for this once, know where this is going! But I ain't tellin'! Comments welcome! To Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Please write "Denny" in the subject line. Thanks and love! Steve