Harry Potter and the Dementor's Treasure - Part 1: A Silly Joke

Disclaimer

Harry Potter and all the things in the Potterverse ar propierty of JK Rowling. I just borrowed them to make this little slash fic of mine. It contains male to male sex between fourteen-fifteen year-olds. Deal with it if you want to!

The story takes place after Harry Potter and the Globet of Fire, but doesn't fowllow the storyline of HP and the Order of the Phoenix, so there are no spoilers of that book here. There may be in the future spoilers of the previous ones.

Harry Potter and the Dementor's Treasure

Part 1: A Silly Joke

When Harry opened his eyes, the first thing he thought was that his room was on fire! He sat up expecting licking flames and deadly smoke, but instead found the Chuddley Cannons waving at him from innumerable posters on the walls and roof of Ron's bedroom.

Then it came to him that he wasn't at Privet Drive any more and that he didn't have to see the Dursleys for almost a full year. Heaven!

On his right, Ron was snoring. Euphoric, he jumped up from the mattress that the Weasleys had laid on the floor for him and into Ron's bed, right on top of him.

"Wake up!" he shouted, with his face a few centimetres away from his friend's.

The redheaded young wizard opened his eyes wide and gasped for air as he ran his unfocused eyes up and down Harry's face. As he gained consciousness, his face contorted into an almost cartoon-like expression of horror.

"Ahhhh!! Mommyyyyy!!!" he screamed, desperately pulling on the sheets to try to cover and guard his face.

Harry tried to calm him down, but couldn't get himself to stop laughing at his friend's (over) reaction. Then he felt Ron's leg kicking and fell out of the bed, taking the blankets down with him.

At the moment he hit the floor, Ron's bedroom door opened and Harry saw Mrs. Weasley and her twin sons, Fred and George storming in. They looked menacing and alert with their wands in hand. Harry figured that they came running after they heard Ron scream (Ron's parents had been fairly overprotective lately, after they heard of Voldemort Rebirth). Ron's mom was wearing a long bathrobe and a shower hat, and his brothers were only clad in tight briefs. Fred's were plain green and George's yellow with a white fly.

"What in Merlin's name is happe..! Oh my!" Mrs. Weasley started but suddenly stopped, putting a hand in her mouth like she had seen something terrible, then she turned and left the room. Fred and George, on the other hand, started laughing like two mad people.

"OH! NO!" Harry heard Ron exclaim. For some reason the twins started laughing harder. From where he had landed he couldn't see what was all the commotion about and when he got up, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary either. Except maybe for a redder-than-usual Ron in his boxer shorts, throwing a pillow at his brothers.

"Get out! You morons... just get out!" he screamed. They left.

Harry was worried, but still, he couldn't keep the smirk from his face.

"And why the hell did YOU do THAT for?" Ron snapped. He wanted to say something, but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would start laughing again.

Ron kept staring at him and eventually seemed to relax a bit.

"It wasn't even that funny!" he grumped through the side of his mouth, though his lips curved up a little.

Harry couldn't resist it. "Mommy!?" he chuckled mockingly and he broke in laughter beyond control.

"SHUT UP!" Ron yelled also cracking and jumping right into Harry, pinning him down. However, all of his efforts to poke, pinch, twist or pull the laughter out of him were vane, they actually seemed to make it worse!

As the boys kept wrestling around, there was a knock on the door.

"Harry, Woodie, breakfast!" it was Fred.

"Bite me!" barfed Ron.

Harry was curious about him calling Ron "Woodie", but he didn't have the air in him to ask right then, besides it didn't seem to make him very happy. As they got dressed for the day, he noticed that Ron's mood had dropped again and there was an awkward silence he had never experienced with him before.

"Are you alright?" he inquired.

"No, I'm not" Ron snapped harshly.

"Are you mad at ME? It was just a silly joke!" Harry said, raising his tone. He didn't like the attitude Ron was taking.

"Oh! `Just a silly joke', you say? Then I reckon it'll be perfect with you if I got you back!"

There was something in Ron's intonation that made Harry uneasy about the prospect, but he wasn't going to give in. "Of course it will!!".

After spending six weeks being starved by the Dursleys, Harry was devouring the first decent meal he had had in all that time, and he wasn't paying much attention to what went on around him.

Once he had slurped the last sip of tea to wash the final piece of bread down his throat, he looked up. Ron was sitting in front of him and was still acting oddly. He was silent with his head down and he hadn't touched his food. In fact, nobody was saying much except for the twins who giggled and whispered among them, which got them occasional furtive looks from their mother.

"So, why is it that you call Ron `Woodie'?" he asked, mainly to try and break the ice. However, as soon as he finished his question he realized he had made a big mistake: Ron dropped his cup. He glanced over at Harry's direction and shot him a murderous look. Then he got up and went upstairs without saying a word; Ron's mother excused herself with tearful eyes and went to wash the dishes (which was a really lame excuse because the dishes were usually self done at wizard houses), she was muttering something about her `little baby boy'; Fred and George once again started laughing hysterically.

Harry and Ginny were the only ones who appeared to be clueless of what was going. Harry was now afraid to speak, or even move; somehow his actions were bringing completely blown put of proportion consequences.

"Do you mean you didn't see it?" Fred asked between fits of laughter.

"See what!?" Harry asked.

"Ron's WOOD!" - said George, Fred was again in no conditions of speaking coherently. -"It was sticking right out of his fly!"

"Even Mom saw it!" said Fred, calming himself down. -"I don't think they'll be making eye contact for a while!"

Harry now understood. It must've been really bad for Ron, but still he reckoned he should know that it had never been his intention for that to happen.

"I don't get it. Why did Ron had a piece of wood in his fly?" asked Ginny.

"Come help me in the kitchen Ginny, dear. NOW!" Mrs. Weasley called out, making Ginny disappear out of the room.

"Oh but! I never... oh no! I guess I should apologize." Harry mumbled. The twins looked at Harry as if he was an odd bug. Apparently the idea of apologizing for a good prank or, more likely, of apologizing in general, was unthinkable. Harry didn't like the idea either, but Hermione had made him promise that he would let his stubbornness aside before fighting with Ron again like the year before.

However, when he was about to go up, Ron came back down. He seemed to be in a much lighter mood.

"I've got to go de-gnome the garden. Care to give me a hand, Harry?" he said, smiling broadly.

Harry said yes. He was wondering about the sudden improvement. Maybe Ron had thought things over and had realized that it hadn't been his intention to do that to him. Whatever the case was, he didn't have to apologize anymore, which was good enough for him.

As soon as they stepped on the grass, a gnome came running right into Harry's right hand (they weren't very smart). Just as he had learnt to do on his first time at Ron's, he grabbed it and started swinging it around in circles.

"Wait!" Ron said, gently stopping Harry's arm. "We don't do that any more! Now we have the Gnominator X. Why don't you go get it? It's in that muggle trunk over there".

Mr. Weasley, Ron's dad, had a fervent passion for muggles and their inventions and had a large collection of them, even though he rarely had a solid idea of what they were, and he never got what they were really supposed to do. So, when Ron said `trunk' and pointed to an old washing machine, Harry didn't give it much thought.

He went to where it was and lifted the lid. Harry didn't see it at first, because it was dark inside the device, but soon it begun shining with light of it's own. It was a sparkling white cloud. Harry, turned around to Ron, seeking for some explanation for this phenomenon. Instead, Ron was smiling mischievously and holding a camera. Fred and George were at his side, also with big smirks. Before he realized it the cloud was out of the `trunk' and appeared to be surrounding him.

"Mom, Ginny. I think you better come and see this!" Ron called out.

Harry was starting to get anxious. Now the odd mist seemed to be absorbed by his clothes which had also begun to spark.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Ginny joined her brothers, her mother came right behind her. As soon as they saw Harry their jaws dropped and they covered them with their hands, eyes as big as saucers.

"What is it?!" Harry asked, fear was taking over him. The cloud was now completely absorbed.

Without warning Harry's clothes came to life! He watched, frozen in shock, as his shirt started unbuttoning. Then he saw the laces of his sneakers loosen and he lost his balance when they flew off his feet and went into the enchanted washing machine. He landed on his butt, losing his shirt somewhere in the way. His belt had also unbuckled and was snaking it's way out of the waist of his jeans, which where already unbuttoned and with the zipper down.

"No!" he screamed, snapping out of his astonishment. He tried to grab his fleeing pants, but he was to slow. He was now sitting in his white briefs in front of Ginny and Mrs. Weasley. -"Please let me keep them. Please!" he begged, his grip firm on his last piece of dignity, which had already started pulling. He pulled back and started wrestling his underwear, and giving it good fight (occasionally the Weasleys would got a flash of soft, dark pubic hair, or a glimpse of the beginning of Harry's crack as he rolled around fighting this humiliating spell, but nothing more).

"Honey, don't fight it! You'll make it worse!" said Mrs. Weasley in a motherly tone. What did she said? Did she actually wanted to see him naked? Harry did his best NOT to follow her advice. Eventually the briefs gave up. Harry tried to rearrange his now over-stretched briefs. He was so humiliated! And furious! How could Ron do that to him? He looked up to see him and his brothers laughing their heads off. Ginny absorbing every inch of Harry's exposed body, and his cotton-covered crotch. Mrs. Weasley was the only one who looked sympathetic.

"Oh dear! Here it comes!" she said.

Harry turned his head and saw another cloud coming from the washing machine, only this time it was black and the sparks were red, it looked enraged! As it stormed towards Harry, it took the shape of two big and strong hands that grabbed him by the wrists. They lifted him and hanged him by the arms to a very tall clothesline (Harry could swear it wasn't there before) as if he was today's laundry. Then, the hands yanked off his underwear and took them to be washed. Harry was left there, hanging and completely exposed in spite of his attempts to hide his privates with his legs.

He looked up, the three boys were laughing harder, he loathed them, specially Ron. Ginny hadn't moved an inch and Mrs. Weasley was handing Ron a towel. Then she took Ginny's hand and dragged her inside.

Ron came and put the towel around Harry's waist and helped him down with Fred and George.

"Sorry mate, it was just a `silly joke'. I guess we are even now." said Ron patting his shoulder as they went back inside. Harry didn't respond.

He kept quiet for the whole morning. When Mr. Weasley came back from the Ministry he isolated with him into his atic/muggle-museum. It was full of the most outstandingly ordinary items one could find in any muggle household.

Harry spent the whole afternoon telling Mr. Weasley all about his collection items, what their name w, what they were for... he found that he really liked spending time with Mr. Weasley, he was really amusing and gentle. He sat there listening his anecdotes of the times he had enchanted some of this stuff to make them work: like the flying car that was now wondering in the Forbidden Forest in Hogwarts, or the mailbox he had successfully connected to the Floo Network. There were other less fortunate ones like the video camera that got people trapped in the VHS tape, or the alarm clock that woke up dead people and turned them into vegetarian zombies. He didn't mention the washing machine, but Harry was pretty sure he had put his hands in that too.

At dinner Harry went silent again, he had the feeling that everyone was staring at him, and he felt naked again. Besides, he felt betrayed by his best friend and was truly hurt, beyond his anger.

"I must say Ron. I can't believe you made Harry fall for that. I mean a `Gnominator'? I've never heard of anything more ridiculous!" whispered Fred so that his mother wouldn't hear, but loud enough for Harry to overhear.

He excused himself with a fake stomach ache and went upstairs. Mrs. Weasley would've normally had a stroke and would've filled him with all healing potions available (the more nauseating, the better), but she knew that he just wanted to get out of there.

When Ron came into the room, a few minutes later, he pretended to be asleep and then he waited. When he heard his breathing slowing down, he got up and gathered his things, ready to leave. He didn't want to spend another day in that place!

When he got to the living room there was a great multicoloured flash coming from the fireplace. He turned around and saw Sirius' face coming from the flames.

"Don't do it, Harry. It's not safe!" he said. He wasn't joking.

"But..." Harry started, but didn't know what to say. He had to many questions: how did he know he was leaving? Why wasn't it safe? Where was he flooing from? -"All right! I'll bloody stay!" he snapped and ran back upstairs.

"I can't take it all in!" screamed Ron, suddenly woken up by Harry slamming the door shut, obviously out of the remaining of some vivid dream. He looked from Harry's face to his trunk. "What are you doing?" he asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"Just go back to sleep, Woodie!" Harry said annoyed by the whole situation.

"You were going to leave, weren't you?" Ron insisted. Harry was surprised he didn't jump at him for calling him `Woodie'.

"So what if I was?"

"Are you mad! With Vol...with Vo- Vld..."

"Oh! Bloody hell, Ron!" hissed Harry rolling his eyes.

"VOLDEMORT!" Ron said, defiantly. "When Voldemort is out there. What if something happened to you. If he... if he...". Ron was red and with eyes full of tears. Harry didn't know what to do, he surely wasn't expecting this. He felt like an idiot, all of the sudden.

"I- I'd be fine!" he lied. Hoping he would bring comfort to his friend.

"You don't know that!" Ron shouted. His voice squeaking.

Harry knew he was right. He had been careless and stupid. -"Well, it's all right anyway. I'm here. OK?" he said, sitting besides him.

"Yes, let's get some sleep. Shall we?" Ron said, rolling over.

End of Part 1...

Hope you liked it... this is just the start of it all. If you want to see more you can check out my website. Parts two and three of the story are allready posted there!

Cheers!