Disclaimer: If you don't like it...don't read it. Again, this is fiction and I don't know any of the members of NYSNC personally (unfortunatley)
Chapter 25
As you expected, the guys did their best to cheer Justin up when you returned to the hotel. Knowing that the concert had been rescheduled helped to lift his spirits, and the group had decided to all spend a quiet evening together at the hotel.
Mark had taken a look at Justin's hand and he now sat with it soaking in a bucket of ice water while finishing down his third bottle of Gatorade. As usual, when one of the guys was not feeling up to par, Danni was diligent in making sure they got whatever they wanted.
"Justin, can I get you something to eat? You haven't eaten much today."
"Danni, I'm fine, really. Just of few more minutes of soaking my hand and I'm gonna go down to Wade's room."
Danni exploded. "Like hell you are. You are not going anywhere near him. You two don't need to be with a 100 yards of each other."
Justin tried to calm her. "I know Danni, but I need to get to the bottom of this. Wade and I have to be able to work together."
"Why Justin? The tour is almost over."
"Yeah, I know, but Wade is a great choreographer, you can't deny that. We are gonna want to use him again. And besides he and Gary had a conversation today and Gary thinks Wade and I need to talk.
"I think Gary is out of his mind!"
He stood, and while drying off his hand, kissed her cheek. "I'll be fine. We're just gonna talk."
He headed for the door, but you stopped him before he reached it. "Do you want Lonnie to go with you?"
"Nah, that's only gonna make matters worse."
You nodded in agreement. "I guess you're right."
You knew what Wade was about to tell him and you could feel the churning in your stomach. You also knew he needed to hear what Wade had to say.
"I love you, Justin."
"I know. I love you too."
He walked out the door and you suddenly realized that what happened in the next few minutes could change the rest of your life.
Justin walked slowly down the secluded hallway until he was in front of Wade's room. He paused a moment wondering exactly what he was going to say, but the more he thought about it, the more it eluded him. He knocked on the door gently and realized at that point there was no turning back. Wade opened the door slowly.
"You're the last person I expected to see tonight." Wade said cautiously. "Did you come to finish what you started?"
Looking at Wade's swollen eye, Justin felt a twinge of guilt for his earlier actions. "No, actually I came to see if we could just sit down and talk for a while."
Wade opened the door wider, indicating to Justin that he could enter. "Come on in. Can I get you something to drink?" He opened the refrigerator and after inspecting its contents gave Justin his choices. "I've got Coke, beer or Dr. Pepper."
"A Dr. Pepper sounds good. I've probably had enough beers for one night."
"Well, that makes one of us" Wade said as he tossed Justin a Dr. Pepper and opened a beer for himself.
"So, I guess you're here to fire me?" Wade asked
"No, not at all. Actually, I think you are one hell of a choreographer. You've got a lot of talent, but what's up Wade? Why the hell are you such a hard ass? When Johnny hired you we were so excited. After meeting you at the VMAs we all thought this was gonna be the perfect arrangement. You've turned it into a living hell Wade. Why? We could have so much fun together and you want nothing to do with us. I don't get it. And what's really bugging me is your attitude towards me. I work my ass off and you don't see it. You think I'm a slacker. I may not be perfect, but I give 100% ..... always.
Wade took a long drink from his beer before responding.
"I guess this all really starts years ago. I've been a dancer for as long as I can remember. My mom was a dancer, and she starting taking me to lessons when I was about 4. Both she and my dad were really supportive. Everything was perfect. Then when I was 10 my mom died and my dad started drinking a lot."
Immediately, Wade had Justin's full attention. He could not imagine life without his mom.
"My dad became a totally different person, and it didn't take long until he lost his job. My dad said the first thing to go was gonna be my dance lessons, but there was no way I was giving them up. I talked to my dance instructor and asked him if there was something I could do at the studio to trade for my lessons. He said that if I was willing to model for him, my lessons would be free. It sounded like a great deal, so I agreed."
With shame in his eyes, he looked at Justin. "I had no idea what I was getting into."
Wade paused for a moment and gathered his thoughts before he continued and Justin could tell that the words were not coming easily.
The "modeling" he was talking about wasn't legal, and later on he wanted more than just pictures. I hated it, but dance was everything to me. My dad was violent when he drank, which was constantly, so my dancing was my escape."
Wade walked to the sliding glass door and stared at the Manhattan skyline, hoping that Justin could not see the anguish in his eyes.
"When I was 13 Joe Tremaine saw me at a dance competition and invited me to dance with his company. I couldn't believe it. This is the top dance studio in the nation. I knew I couldn't afford it, but it was the opportunity of a lifetime. I told him about the arrangement I had with my current instructor. You should have seen his face. After that night I never went back to my old studio or my dad's house. Joe had a small apartment behind his house and he let some of his dancers live there. I lived there with four other guys. All of them were 19 or twenty. Trust me, they were not thrilled with living with a 13 year old. I was a principle dancer, but I was dancing with guys way older than me."
He turned and faced Justin and for the first time, a slight smile was on his face.
"I can remember Joe telling me 'I love you Wade and I know you can do it, but you have to be perfect. They are gonna look at anything you do wrong and blame it on your age. In order for them to accept you, you're gonna have to be flawless.' I've never forgotten that."
Wade walked slowly towards Justin and knelt before him. He stared directly into his eyes.
"When you love someone Justin, you want them to be perfect."
Justin was speechless. Of all the scenarios he had played out in his mind, Wade having feelings for him had never occurred to him.
"Wade, I'm not sure what to say. I never expected this"
Wade spoke softly. "And I never expected to be in a position to tell you. Justin, say you'll give us a chance. That's all I'm asking. I know I can make you happy."
Justin looked into Wade's eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity. There was none. Wade was serious and Justin knew to choose his words carefully. He and Wade had not been close since they had met nearly a year ago, but Justin had no intention of purposely hurting the young man who had only moments before shared his innermost secrets.
"Wade, you have been with us since before the tour started. You know Gary and I are together. I'm not in a position to give you a chance. I'm sorry."
Wade said nothing but hurled his beer bottle against the wall smashing into a million pieces. He threw opened the sliding glass door with such force that Justin was amazed that it too didn't shatter. He leaned against the railing and buried his head in his hands. Justin walked slowly to the patio and wrapped his arm around Wade's shoulder. The two stood there in silence for several minutes, neither of them quite sure what to say. Finally Wade broke the silence.
"I need to ask you something Justin. Did you mean what you said earlier?" When you said you hated me."
Justin hung is head. "Of course not. I was pissed. Really pissed. I needed someone to blame. You were handy."
"I was to blame." Wade reminded him.
Justin grinned. "Well yeah, making me do that damn routine 6 times didn't help, but I know better. Mark has told me a million times to drink plenty of water and I never do. Then when you told me to sit out the last time though, there was no damn way I was gonna let you see me quit. It's my stubborn side."
For the first time Justin could remember he saw a genuine smile on Wade's face.
"Yeah, I kinda noticed that."
He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Justin, do you think we can be friends. I know I've been a real ass and I'm sure after today Gary hates my guts, but I'd really like a second chance."
'Damn', Justin thought, 'maybe there is another side of Wade.'
"Yeah, I think we can do that. Hell, we all make mistakes. Lord knows I've made my share. But there is a catch. Everything doesn't have to be perfect all the time. You are gonna have an ulcer before you're 20. You need to learn to have some fun."
"Wow, that's gonna be kinda hard for me. I'm pretty obsessive when it comes to dancing, but you have a deal."
A wide grin came over Wade face. "Don't you think we need a little something to make this deal official?"
His comment caught Justin totally off guard. "Sure....I guess...what did you have in mind?"
"How about a kiss?" Wade suggested eagerly.
"A kiss? Whatever happened to an old fashioned hand shake?"
"Justin, come on. I've wanted one since I was twelve. Haven't I waited long enough?"
Justin's face was bright red but a huge smile covered his face.
"Come here," he said as he tugged on Wade's t-shirt.
When he was close enough Justin cupped the young man's face in his hand and gently kissed his lips and Wade moaned softly at his touch. It was a brief and innocent kiss and Wade knew there would never be anything between him and Justin, but the moment meant so much to him. Justin cared about him, maybe not as a lover as he had hoped, but at least as a friend.
As Justin pulled away he noticed the look of surprise on Wade's face.
"Didn't think I do it, did ya?" he laughed.
Wade shook his head. "Hell, no."
Justin punched him gently in the stomach. "That just proves I'll do about anything to get out of one of your 16 hour rehearsals. Now don't forget our deal."