Dear Diary: I am slightly wasted as I start this entry, having taken a four beer enema up my ass some 3 hours ago. As I sit here in the recliner writing this I can see my belly, distended like a pregnant teenage girl from the beer being held in my gut by a medium-sized butt plug inserted up my ass.
Tonight, Tommy comes home and if all goes well, those pool-ball-sized anal balls will be up my ass and I will come like I have never come before.
Until then I am preparing doing my best to not jerk off - though it is hard. Hard as in my aching boner and hard as in difficult to resist with all the sensations running through my body. That is after all why I decided to half fill the enema bag with four beers: I knew they would, if I kept them in along enough, make me comfortably numb and take the edge off the anal cleaning and sphincter stretching I had been focused on since yesterday.
I remember when the anal balls came in the mail from eBay. I thought, "Holy shit, these are bigger than what I thought they would be from the picture." I feel like a little gay red riding hood when it comes to purchasing sex toys online. It seems like you have to purchase three times the amount of sex toys you need to get the ones that work for you: some are too small, some are too big and some are just right.
These rubber balls fell into the "too big" category for me for sure.
After I opened the package I set them on the cluttered dining room table in dismay and trepidation thinking, "Why did I every bid on these?" Of course Tommy zeroed in on these sitting there amongst the clutter on the table.
"What the fuck is that?" he asked.
"Something I saw on eBay, but I don't know now that I see them in person," I replied.
"Well when are we going to try them out?" he asked.
"On me?" I replied.
"Well we certainly are not going to try them out on me - you bought them."
"I am not sure," I said.
"Monday when I get home from work. Have the sling set up and be ready to go. I can't stand it when you spend OUR money on sex crap we don't use. Your eyes are bigger than your belly - so I expect you will be ready and will..." he started to say willing - "well ... ready ... on Monday when I get home."
"Fuck me," I thought to myself, unaware that I spoke my fears out loud.
"Oh yeah... Fuck you," Tommy said.
So yesterday I gave myself a significant cleaning out. I started out with an Epsom salt enema, followed by a baking soda enema. As per my usual enema routine I had to use my oldest sex toy - a medium-size butt plug - to keep everything in.
Yesterday I kept everything in for over an hour. Through the cramping and pressure I concentrated on squeezing my sphincter around the plug and counted the minutes - and at times, seconds - stroking my dick when I felt like expelling the enema - a technique I learned not from some website on how to keep an enema in but from experience.
I tried my best not to come, but eventually gave in to the pressure. The pressure created by a gallon of water sloshing around in my insides, the pressure created by repeated clenching my sphincter around the butt plug to kept everything in, the pressure of my prostrate as evidenced by the foot of pre-cum dripping from my cock.
Anyone who lives the enema life style will acknowledge that the power of a butt plug doesn't come from literally "plugging" your ass but from giving your ass a focus point - something to clench down on - like putting a stick in your mouth like they used to do a hundred years ago in surgical practices.
I do have a larger dildo that I am not "used to" that does fit the bill of literally plugging you ass up, however. I grabbed this yesterday as I succumbed to the pressure.
One can only stand pre-cum oozing from your dick for so long before your do something about it. And (thankfully) Tommy hasn't done his own internet shopping and purchased a male chastity device.
Yet.
So, at 10 pm last night I found myself squatting in the shower, the tip of the "big" dildo pressing against my ass, jerking off.
While the hot water pulsed on my face I found myself increasingly aroused and filled with the urge to expel the fluid in my gut. The more I jerked on my cock, the more I grunted to expel the fluid from the enema, the more I pressed my ass against the dildo. The combination of the internal pressure - of the fluid wanting to escape around the dildo - and the external pressure - of the dildo penetrating me - was too much to take and I impaled myself on the silicone replica of a horse cock I only imagined in my dreams.
I came buckets while squirting my retained enema around the sides of the dildo.
After I came it was back to reality and I sat on the toilet until all the remnants of the enema were expelled.
Or so I thought.
At two am I woke up to "dribbling" - and not the kind of pre-cum, sexually-charged dribbling that comes from your cock on the edge of sex.
My ass was starting to leak as fluid from an enema held for hours started to work its way out of my intestinal tract while I slept.
I had briefly considered this before I went to sleep and thought of wearing a plug to bed but decided not to.
Now that decision was one I was regretting.
Luckily I am a relatively light sleeper (at least when it comes to shitting the bed) and I woke up and acted in time.
After cleaning up I went to my sex toy stash and found the glass anal plug I enjoyed wearing so much.
This magical little plug had become my favorite public buddy. I could insert it for days at a time, taking it out only to relieve myself. Because it was made from glass it was easily cleaned and reinserted. Skillfully tapered and with a round "pull ring" on the bottom there was no way this was going to accidentally go disappear in my ass and result in a trip to the hospital. I loved wearing it. I felt full and in a sexual haze for days a time with it up my ass.
The glass plug inserted easily and I instantly found myself with an erection.
"Remember tomorrow" I said to myself trying to discourage my habitual response to stat tugging on my dick.
I went to bed, plugged and erect knowing two things: that I would not leak through the night and that I would wake up tomorrow stuck to the sheets.
It's a funny thing when you stimulate your prostrate for hours at a time with the right plug. First you begin to leak even though your cock is not hard. It is like you are so sexually stimulated that your body cannot help but respond. It is like edging but without all the work. You just dribble pre-cum and are in this anticipatory state of orgasm. It is amazing.
So putting the plug in would stop me from dribbling from one orifice while I dribbled from the other. But I don't feel the same need to wash the sheets when they are stiff from pre-cum than when they are wet from water dribbling from my ass - even if it is clean because I have been so vigilant in my enema works.
I work up in the morning "restless but rested" - that's the only term I can come up with that describes the experience of sleeping plugged. Because of the habitual constricting of your sphincter against the stem of the butt plug, you end up waking up feeling like you have been fuck by a legion of Roman soldiers. But you are rested because you have been getting fucked while you sleep. In your dreams.
And I was "dry" - all the remaining fluid from the enema had been absorbed into my body.
And I was hard - you can't get fucked by a legion or Romans all night long and not wake up hard.
I reached down, grabbed my cock and started to jerk off.
"Fuck," I said out loud, remembering the plans with Tommy for tonight. It was difficult to pull my hand away from my throbbing cock but I did knowing Tommy would be pissed if I didn't put on a hefty display of cum from the planned activities.
I am grateful Tommy doesn't make me wear a chastity device. But at times like this, I wish he did. Then I wouldn't have this internal struggle to cum or not to cum.
Coffee and work distracted me from my cock and my sexual drives until about noon.
I didn't have any breakfast wanting to make sure my GI tract was clean and ready.
At noon I removed my glass pal and prepared for another enema. 6 quarts later I knew that not only was I not clean enough to meet Tommy's expectations but I was not stretched enough to take on the new anal balls I had received in the mail from eBay.
It was then that I decided to give myself a beer enema.
I knew that beer enemas worked really well for me. Because of their numbing effect, I could retain more and I could also retain it for longer. I knew I could cross of "clean" from my prep list.
As for stretching, that was a different matter. You see in order to retain the enema while a little "drunk" I definitely needed a butt plug to clamp down upon.
This training is in exact opposition to anal stretching. With anal stretching you insert an object up your ass and focus on relaxing not clamping. And while clamping is a fantastic skill to have as a bottom, you can't be as flexibly with size if you are focused on constricting your anal rings around something.
I decided to give myself four hours to retain and manage the beer enema and then planned to switch to stretching.
For stretching I use a set of anal dilators that I have adapted to remain in place for hours and days at time. Anal dilators are a completely different animal than butt plugs. Where butt plugs are meant to easily stay in place and keep you plugged, anal dilators are designed to stretch you sphincter and anal rings. So where the optimal design for a butt plug is flared from the tip with a reduced stem and flared - preferably thin - base that keeps the plug easily in place without much effort, anal dilators have a consistent diameter. The result with anal dilators is that your anal rings relax to accommodate the size over time so you can insert bigger objects into your ass. Dilators are typically hollow with a hole at the top to allow gasses to exchange from your lower intestines. (That is because they are meant to be "worn" for days - even weeks (by dedicated users) at a time).
The problem is with anal dilators is that they have a consistent diameter (which they need to stretch your anal rings) so they don't stay in place easily. One solution is to drill holes in the base of the dilators and using Kevlar twine (which you can get from any outdoor store) and a large O-ring create an adjustable harness that ties off to a belt around your waist. Then the dilator is sure to stay in place.
But I am getting a head of myself (probably because I just inserted a large dilator while writing this diary and it is distracting me).
As I sit here now still feeling the effects of the beer enema from a few hours ago, the anal dilator doing it's job - it is like taking a crap without taking a crap - exposed and open - semi erect -- orgasming but not orgasming - feeling heat around my anal rings because they are unable to close. Although it was relatively easy to insert and accommodate the anal dilator - now - an hour into it - I can feel the ache of my ass lips wanting to close but being unable to. The sensation is indescribable.
I want to pull the dilator out and push it back in to relieve the tension and bring me the familiar pleasure of being fucked but that would defeat the whole purpose of impaling yourself for hours on one of these things. I feel my ass lips involuntarily quivering around the object and that is distracting me from completing today's diary entry.
It was a little after 1 pm when I finally got around to taking four beers up my ass. I filled a pot with hot tap water and floated four cans in the water. I repeated this process two times as the cans got warmer and the water in the post got colder.
The benefit of this is that you have warm beer flowing into your ass. I know from experience that this makes enema retention much easier. I also know my limits. Five beers is about it. Six beers - even if administered slowly through a enema bulb as opposed to an enema bag - is too much too fast. So today I did four. A four beer enema allows me to maintain the buzz through casual (oral) drinking of a cocktail or two afterward.
It is easier for me to take four beers a little at a time through an enema bulb. But I didn't have the time today. Today I needed to take all four beers up my ass as fast as possible and retain it as long as possible.
As I lay on the bathroom floor feeling the warm beer flow into me I thought of Tommy filling me up tonight. That thought ended as soon as I started to cramp up from the fizz of the beer. I kinked the enema hose and took a deep breath trying to relax. I started playing with my cock to distract me from the cramping which was causing my sphincter to react and pulse. I knew jerking my meat would cause my sphincter to clamp down on the tube going into me and prevent me from expelling beer all over the floor.
In five minutes the cramps passed and the beer was taking effect. I could feel the spinning of the earth as I unkinked the hose and let my ass gulp down the rest of the beer.
As the last drop of beer entered my gut, I pulled out the tube and inserted a well-lubed butt plug.
I knew from previous butt-beer encounters I would need something to "remind me" that I had to keep my sphincter tight and having something for my ass to clamp down on served the purpose well.
I figured two hours for the liquid to be absorbed and then I would be able to start to stretch my sphincter.
Writing this diary helps to pass the time - and keeps me from grabbing my aching cock dribbling with pre-cum. Even the numbing effects from the beer have no effect on my throbbing dick. I just want to explode.
I set the diary down and returned to the bathroom after 3 hours passed and replaced the butt plug with the anal dilator. Now my mind is running wild with anticipation. My anal rings, which easily expanded around the dilator are starting to ache. It can feel my anal rings convulsing around the plastic. Unable to close.
Now I wait.
Only a few hours left...