Dealing with It

By Asharia Stone

Published on Sep 26, 2004

Gay

Okay, I finally got another chapter out and I'm so very sorry it took me so long to get this out. Hopefully the next couple of chapters will come a little fast. Sorry if there are errors, this is unedited cause I'm an idiot that lost my editor's email, so Michael, email me if you read this. Thanks to everyone who's written to me in response to my story. And a special thanks to Laurie for tell me I have a fan club. Ya for me!

Normal legal B.S. applies. Don't read if you're not suppose to.

11

Caelum

There was a warm, hard body pressed against my side. That was the first thing to filter into my sleep-fogged brain. My second thought was the joyful realization that it had not been a dream. Zane was asleep in my bed, curled up against me and I didn't dream it. Dragging heavy lids open, I noticed that the room wasn't completely dark. The door was open a crack, letting some light brighten the room. Taking advantage of this I turned slightly to look at Zane still sleeping against me. He looked young as he lay there. His hair looked almost black where it was spread across the pillow. His face was relaxed and a small smile hovered on his lips, as if he was dreaming of something he liked. As I watched him, a new thought hit me, he may have been interested last night, but would he still be in the bright light of day? With this, thought in mind I shook him awake. "Mmm, Cae?" he asked, his voice still gravely with sleep. He stretched, sliding his body across mine. "Was last night real?" I didn't answer vocally, wasn't sure that I would be able to anyway. Instead, I pressed my lips against his and pulled him tight against me. He made a soft sound before wrapping his arms around me, opening his mouth beneath mine. I could feel the hard press of his arousal against my hip and I knew he could feel me, equally as hard. But neither of us made a move, we only kissed, our lips and tongues sliding over each other. "Told ya they'd figure it out on their own," I heard Anthony comment from the doorway. Zane broke the kiss and buried his flaming face in my shoulder, muttering about people not knocking. I did the only thing I could think of, flipped both Anthony and Ci standing beside him, off. Laughing, Anthony headed back into the living room. Ci walked across the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed next to Zane. "I'm happy for you too," she said softly, pressing kisses to our faces. Zane rose up a bit and looked her in the eye. A moment of silence passed and Ci smiled down at us. "I'm gonna go molest my boyfriend. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" The door closed behind her, throwing the room back into darkness. A flash of disappointment filled me before I realized what a blessing the darkness could be. We needed to talk and this way made it safe to say those things that needed saying without the stress of looking at each other. "I suppose we should have that talk now?" Zane whispered, pressing his face back into my shoulder. I let a sigh of relief go, glad that I wasn't the one to bring it up. "Yeah. Did you want to get up?" I asked, running a hand over his hair. "Not unless I have too, I don't think I could face Ci and Anthony right now. Besides," he said with a chuckle, "I'm comfortable." "So . . . how long have you liked me?" I started, hoping to jump-start the conversation. "You don't pull any punches, do you?" Zane laughed as he shifted closer. "I can safely say since I first saw you in the locker room." "Me too." I admitted. "You were so shy, it was adorable." "Adorable? I am not adorable!" he exclaimed, hitting me softly. "Yes you are. You're adorable and sweet and cute," I teased. "Seriously though, why didn't you say anything?" "At first I was afraid. The town I come from wasn't as accepting as here. Then Ci and I talked, but she forgot to mention that you were gay. She told me about Jeff and Rick, and a few others, but not about you. I was afraid you'd be disgusted. It's one thing to have a gay friend; it's very different to have a guy liking you." All this was whispered into my shoulder and I began to understand why Zane had run out after my unintentional confession. I tightened my arms around him, pulling him closer into my body.

Zane

Silence greeted my confession and I felt like a fool for admitting all that to Cae, but it was out now and nothing could take the words back. Surprised flowed through me as Cae's arms pulled me in closer. "I'm so sorry," the whispered words drifted across my hair and seemed to lodge themselves in my heart. There was an aching sadness in Cae's voice and it tore into me. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, Cae. If I hadn't been such a coward I would have said something earlier on," I looked up, wishing I could see him in the darkness. "I thought you and Ci were a couple, you know," he stated softly. "It hurt so much. That's why I was such an asshole at Halloween. I was so jealous. I wasn't mad at you, or at Ci. I was pissed at myself. Then Ci goes and gives you my bed. . . Actually, that was kinda funny and so like her. Figured you were straight so I was surprised when you agreed to share the bed. When I woke up wrapped around you I thought you'd be angry, so I made sure I was up before you were so that you didn't know." "I had already been awake and I didn't mind. It felt nice." He laughed. "We seemed to be okay after that, and then I screwed up at the party. I don't mean the holding you part, but the way I reacted. All I can say is I was afraid you'd hate me. If only us knew about it then it could be covered up, but everyone saw. I was so scared I pushed everyone away. When Ci finally convinced me to talk to you, I tell you something that scares you and you run. I seriously thought you hated me." "S'okay, I thought everyone was playing a grand joke on the new guy. I accused Ci of it before I took off. Gotta admit I wasn't thinking to clearly at the time. I was too angry. At you, at myself and at Ci. She sent Jeff after me, you know. I talked with him, he told me some things about you that I didn't know, gave me a different perspective on the situation." I felt strange trying to explain my actions, but I knew that everything needed to be said. We were both silent for a few minutes, processing what the other had said. I should have felt embarrassed to be lying there in his arms, but there was only comfort in the embrace. Okay, a little more than comfort, but until everything was resolved comfort would be the only outcome. I wasn't sure if was upset by that or not. Cae sighed softly against my hair and I cuddled closer, enjoying the warmth of his body. "Where do we go from here?" I asked breaking the silence. "I guess that depends on what we want," he replied. "So, what do you want?"

Caelum

There was silence after my question and I could almost hear the wheels in his head turning. I kept my mouth shut, waiting for Zane to figure out what he wanted from me, from us. I knew what I want: him, even if only as a friend. Sadly, I would take anything I could get. "I want us to at least be friends," he started, echoing my own sentiment. "I'd like more, if it's possible, but if not, I'll settle for your friendship." "Friendship is good. I can do friendship, but I'm definitely not adverse to something a little more. . ." I trailed off. Zane lifted his head off my shoulder and pressed his lips against mine. "A little more like that?" he asked. "Yeah," I answered, before kissing him back, harder and deeper. There was an underlying lust to the kisses, but more than that was the feeling of contentment and belonging. It was just right to kiss Zane. It was perfect. "Perhaps we should get up?" I said as we broke off. "Hmm, I guess. Probably should tell Ci what we decided too, otherwise she'll bug us until we kill her," Zane replied, laughing. "I don't doubt she's outside the door right now trying to listen in. And Anthony's probably right there with her." Still laughing, Zane moved out of my arms and stood up before turning on the lap and giving me a clear view of him in the light. His hair was a mess, there were crease marks on his face from the pillows and his lips were swollen from kissing. To me he had never looked better. "Come on, I'm hungry," he said, tugging me from the bed. "And we really should talk to Ci before she drives herself crazier with curiosity." Agreeing with him, I allowed myself to be dragged off the bed and stood there for a moment taking in the sight of him before leaning over and kissing him again. Then, preparing myself to deal with my nosy sister, I took his hand and headed into the living room.

Next: Chapter 12


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