Davy's on the Road Again

Davy's On The Road Again, Chapter 11

The following story is fiction. Sure, some of it may seem real but that's because it's based upon true events and episodes in the life of your humble narrator. It involves all variations of sex between men and women, between women and women, between men and mem and in all combinations thereof. The story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives. There are lyrics to songs that add not only tribute to the songwriters but add color and atmosphere to the story. Some of the characters are real people whose names have not been changed. They are there to advance the story and expand your imagination. I hope you enjoy the telling and the tale.

I wrote this story several years ago and published it on another site. This version is updated at corrected and in some ways is different from the original story. Send your comments to oldhippie1949@gmail.com.

And remember, Nifty.org needs your donations to keep this site running, http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html. Thank you. --------------------------------------------------

The morning came and I was up with the dawn. I really can't say why except that maybe I was ready to seize the day. I put up coffee and took Santo out. He was pretty frisky on this dreary morning. Rain seemed to be coming in from the south and the clouds looked black and ominous. Fortunately, they were very far off. Since there was no one on the beach, I let Santo loose. He ran straight for the water and splashed about in the remains of the huge waves. He rolled around in the sand and, while having a ball, made a mess of himself. I saw a lone runner off in the distance as I reveled in the sound of the surf. I was awake but still fuzzy. I needed my caffeine. I turned back toward the bus as Santo scampered up beside me. I got the vibe that he was about to shake himself off and I was right when he suddenly sprayed me with water and sand.

"Ok, buddy, I'm going to have to wash you down when we get back."

I opened the side compartment and took out the hand-held shower head. I washed my boy down and then toweled him off. He was barely dry to I tethered him to the bus and brought him his water bowl. He found a spot under the bus and flopped down.

I poured a cup and noticed that we were almost out of milk. I wrote myself a note to check our supplies and to pick up whatever was needed. Amy was curled up in bed and sleeping. I quietly closed the door, sat down at the table and turned on the computer to check my email.

My first email was from Shelley and Linda. Shelley's mother had passed away in the night a few days before. The girls had buried her and were now settling her estate. They were soon heading back to Michigan and asked if I would stop by to see them if I made it up that way. They also told me that they had been following me on YouTube and were thrilled at my success. The end of the note made my heart sad. Shelley said that she and Linda were having some friction and she didn't know if their relationship would last too much longer. I responded immediately telling them that they were in love and that they should remember why. I said that they should return home at their earliest chance, back to the place where they were comfortable and to try to rekindle their relationship. I told them that the last few weeks had been terribly stressful for both of them and that they needed to seek out their comfort level. I also told them that I was in love and that they would just love Amy. Finally, I wrote that I would make it a point to see them on my return trip if and when we made it back that way.

I chose to ignore the emails from my former business associates - my manager, my publisher and all the rest of the bastards who screwed me around once already. Never again. I swear it. I marked them as 'junk'.

I checked out YouTube and the benefit videos were way up over 700,000. There were links to the Aspen video and that, too, was off the hook, over 600,000. There were even video clips from old appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, from Rockpalast, from Don Kirshner and from my first appearance on Saturday Night Live. I laughed when I watched the skit I did with Ackroyd, Morris and Belushi. I couldn't wait to show this to Amy.

I sat down on the couch with my pad and pencil. Lighting a half a joint, I began to write.

I have to laugh when I see pictures from the old days, The songs I sang, the people I met, the things I did...

Too maudlin. I crumpled it up and tossed it. I sat thinking of something to write but was drawing blanks. I hadn't had enough coffee yet but then I never write well in the morning. I'm just not a morning person. Never was.

I turned on the TV and started to watch but soon was asleep. Amy woke me with a kiss. It was nine-thirty. She was sipping her coffee.

"I've been watching you for a half and hour. You seemed fitful, is everything all right? Are you okay, hon?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just got up very early this morning, that's all."

"Where is Santo?"

"Santo is tied up outside. I took him for a walk and he played in the sand and the water. I washed him down and let him dry off outside. Let me go get him."

Santo was patiently sitting and waiting by the door. I scratched his head and told him what a good boy he was and let him back into the bus. He still was a little damp but I knew he wanted in. I got his bowl and freshened his water. He greeted Amy with a million kisses and sat at her feet as she scratched his head.

"Amy, I must show you something." I woke up the computer and clicked on the SNL skit. She laughed and recalled that she had seen it when it originally aired, back in '76. "Look how young you were!" My memories drifted back to that one summer I hung out with Beloosh, when he and Judy rented a house in East Hampton just down the road from me. I really liked that guy a lot and I was heartbroken when he died. I missed his humor and his sensibility. I told Amy about some experiences with him.

"I had this neat toy. It was a Honda ATV90 - a little three wheeler motorcycle with big pneumatic tires. It was designed to drive on sand dunes and not on the street. So one day, I'm driving it up to Sammy's Beach along the dirt and sand side of the road. I'm about halfway there when I notice an old beatup car following behind me. When I got up to Sammy's, I took off into the dunes and was bouncing around having a great time. I noticed that the car had parked in the sandlot and two guys were watching me. When I got closer, I realized it was John Belushi and Danny Ackroyd in the Bluesmobile. I pulled up to them and Ackroyd asked if he could take it for a ride. I gave them both a quick lesson and Dan took off into the dunes screaming with joy. I stood next to John and the fucking guy was a riot. Every comment he made was funny. We got along great. He recognized me and teased me about my music, about how it had no balls. When Dan returned, John wanted to try it. Well as much as we showed him how, he just couldn't get it. He spin the handgrip to rev it, step down on the gear and squeeze the breaks so the thing would flip up and he'd go flying off. And each time he fell, it was a comedic fall, you know, very broad. Finally, I put him in the seat behind me and took him for a ride. I had to stop about ten times because he kept falling off."

"Dan was only visiting that day but I got very friendly with John and Judi. Some nights, he'd knock on my door asking if I had a spare bottle of wine (or as he called it "wiiii-iiiine") or maybe spark a joint or two. We joined them for a few barbeques with other SNL cast members and writers. We joined him at The Old Post Office Cinema" to see "Jaws." I never heard the film dialogue because they were all ad-libbing their own dialogue and it was very funny. He left in late August to go film "Animal House." I saw him a few times after that when he invited us to the studio to watch the show. He was a great, funny man and it really hurt when he passed on. Somewhere, I still have an autographed copy of "Titters", the book Judi Belushi put together about comedic expressions of breasts. Oh, those were some times."

Amy watched some of the other clips and was amused by my young looks. "You're still so handsome!" I refilled our cups and told her about my email from Shelley and Linda. I said that I hoped we might be able to swing by and see them on our return trip, whenever that might be.

"I need my morning walk, baby. Let me take Santo out again so we can both stretch out. I'm going to call Sally, too, okay? I'll be back soon. I love you, Davy Harper." She kissed me and left.

The phone rang and it was George. "Good morning, Davy. Did I wake you?"

"No, not at all George. We still on for lunch?"

"Yes, but can we make it at Nobu? It's just down the road from you. Sorry to keep changing the place on you."

"It's okay, George. Amy and I will see you there. How's one o'clock?"

"That's great, Davy. I'm just over in the Colony. I'll see you then."

A few minutes later, I received another call. This one was from Craig Ferguson. I recognized his Scottish burr right away.

"Hello, Davy. It's Craig Ferguson - you know, the whack job with the late night show?"

"Of course I know who you are, Craig. What can I do for you?"

"What you can do is appear on my show tomorrow night - maybe play a song, sit on the couch and shmooze..."

"Well, I'll do it, Craig, but only if I can play with a puppet."

"That can be arranged, Davy, but nothing too obscene. Can I have my staff call you later for some prep?"

"Sure, but later on in the afternoon, like about four. Is that good."

"For you, Mr. Harper, anything. Oops, sorry. I sound like a jerk."

"No, you don't. You've just been in Hollywood too long, that's all. Who else is on the show with me?"

"Right now, it looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal."

"Great, I like her...pretty and a very gifted actress."

"Yes, it will be a good show. I'm already thinking of a set up with the puppets. We'll have fun. Thank you, Davy and I'll have the staff call you later."

"Uh, Craig. One more thing. If you want me to perform, can I have a small group behind me - like maybe three or four pieces?

"Sure, Davy, my little dog-and-pony show can handle that. We'll just need a sound check first before the show. I tape at seven so let's make it five, all right with you?"

"Very good, Craig...and thanks."

I called Mark immediately. "Mark, I need your help. Craig Ferguson wants me to do his show tomorrow night and he wants me to perform one song. He said I can have three or four pieces. Beside you, can you help me get a bass and a drum? He wants to sound check at five and taping is seven."

"Sure, dude. Relax. Let me call Gadd and Hillman. I think Nick left town and I think Keltner is with Cooder somewhere in Mexico. Let me check things out. Have Amy singing, too."

"Yeah, if I can get her to do it. I may have to wrestle with her on this, which ain't such a bad option either!"

"Indeed. Talk to you later."

I refreshed my coffee again but I hardly needed any more as I was pumped. I looked out the window and I could see the rumbling clouds moving closer. Amy was sitting nearby with her ear to the cellphone as Santo sat next to her, his butt leaning up against her. I watched her for a few minutes until I saw her hang up, jump up and run back to the bus.

"Here comes the rain!," she squealed. The windows began to fill with the pelting drops. "It suddenly got colder, too. I was on the phone with Sally when I saw a sheet of water come in off the ocean."

"How are they?"

"They're good. Sally was telling me about this sex party they attended last night and how she had four men doing her at the same time. You know Sally - she was cumming just talking about it! She also said that they have been keeping track of our clips on YouTube and while she's glad she's not here in L.A., she's sorry she missed the show. Otherwise, life doesn't change much in Aspen. What's with you?"

I filled her in on our lunch plans and told her about the Craig Ferguson taping tomorrow night. I told her that Mark was putting together a band and that I wanted her to sing with me. "I want to do "...Key of Me," what do you say?"

"Oh, God! TV?" She began to babble. "What am I going to wear? Oh, I have plenty. Should I have my hair done? I should call Linda for advice. Maybe I'll have my make-up done...no, they have makeup people there and makeup for TV is different than...Jesus!...Quiet down, girl! Just relax!"

I laughed at her sudden panic and told her it would be very cool and not to worry.

"Okay, okay...Nobu for lunch, huh? Good, I'd like some sushi. Do you have a joint rolled? I could use something to calm myself."

I rolled up a thick bomber, lit it and passed it over to her. She sat in the corner of the couch watching the rain pour down and toked on it slowly. She seemed deep in thought.

"Davy, when are we going to go back to the road again?"

"I'm thinking right after the bus is done. Like the next day. Why, have you had enough of El Lay?"

"Yeah, maybe. I'm starting to think about our itinerary. Do you mind if I start to map one out? Just for fun?"

"Sure, I'm blowin' in your wind, babycakes. Go for it."

She sat down at the computer and started to make notes. In no time, she was absorbed in creating a route. "So I'm thinking that we go up the Coast Highway to San Francisco stopping in Santa Cruz - you wanted to stop there, right? I've never been to Monterey and I'd like to stop there. We both have people in San Francisco, although I called my friends and there was no answer, so I figure maybe we're there for a couple of days. Then on to Tiburon, I never been there either and you have friends there, too and then up to Bodega Bay, where you have more friends. Am I right so far?"

"I'm listening but so far, you're good. I called my friends in Frisco and I also didn't get an answer. I tried to look up my old friends in Bodega Bay but there was no listing for them so I guess they're gone. I'll try again later or tomorrow."

"Okay. loosely playing it by ear..., from there to the Napa Valley, through Sacramento to Yosemite Park, which I really want to see. Across Nevada and Utah (stopping over in Salt Lake City - maybe), and then north to Yellowstone, another place I want to go. From Yellowstone we head south to Aspen for a while so I can check out my biz."

"I'm getting exhausted already. Maybe we should stop right here for the night, waddya say?"

"Cute, guitar boy. In Aspen, we can map out the next leg but I know you want to stop in Michigan."

"Sure, you know we're missing the Pacific Northwest and Wyoming but we can do that on another trip. Eventually, we have to head back to New York so I can handle my biz, too. And somewhere in there, we might have to head off to a gig. I'll tell you one thing, it's great to be so flexible, isn't it?"

"It sure is but I'm getting a little antsy to move on. I'll check out RV parks later."

"Speaking of which, let's get dressed and meet up with George."

"Oh right. If I smoke any more, I'll forget my name."

"Ha! I could smoke all day and I'll never forget your name."

We dressed and headed over to Nobu. Although it was raining heavily, it was only a few minutes up the road in Malibu proper. George was already at a table in the back and waved us over. We made some small talk for a while and George suggested we let them prepare a sashimi platter for us. Something was bothering Amy.

"Yesterday, I saw you walk in with someone and I'm pretty sure I knew her. But I never saw her again and never got to talk to her and it's really bothering me, George."

"Oh, you mean Sarah. She got a call and had to leave not long after we got there..."

"Sarah! That's it! She was a waitress at the Hotel in Aspen when I was the hostess...maybe ten years ago. Son of a gun! I knew I knew her!"

"Yes, I think she was. She moved on to run several restaurants. That's how I met her. I will give her your regards, Amy. It's a small world. But let me get down to what this is all about. I'm working on a project now and it's in the earliest development stage. I've had a couple of treatments written so far. I was very taken by the two of you at the benefit and at Mark's party and you kind of dovetail into my project. It's a film about a sixties musician who's been out of the loop for a few decades and who suddenly finds himself making a comeback. It's a drama about romance and redemption but with an element of organized crime and the narco trade, if you will. I'm not interested in doing a biopic about you, I just want to use elements of your story, or your stories to flesh out the screenplay. Perhaps you might even write some songs for it. I'd also like to cast the two of you in small roles. You both look very good for the parts I have in mind. Like I say, it's in the earliest stages here and nothing has the green light except my interest. And, by the way, I'm not interested in playing the part as much as I am in producing and directing it."

"So what would you have me do to help you, George?"

"Maybe first a series of chats, if that's all right with you."

"You know, Graydon Carter wants to do a story about us. He wants Annie Liebovitz to photograph us. Perhaps, that could be the seed material for you?"

"Perhaps. That could be a good source or even a starting point. I want to be honest with you, though. I've heard some chatter from other studio people that they are interested in doing something with you. I want to be the first. With that in mind, I'd like to offer you an option so, at least, I have you locked up and don't have to worry about any competitors."

"I've heard some rumors about that myself but I don't trust Hollywood much. I know that you make quality films - stuff that you believe in. I'm more inclined to work with you."

"That's good. I have no intention of screwing around with you. I know that you can give me color and that whoever develops the screenplay can work that into the plot. How long will you be in L.A.?"

"Maybe another few days is all, we're both itching to move on. We're going to head up the coast and then see some parks before heading back to Aspen for a little while before heading east."

"I expect to be in the country for a few months so maybe I can hook up with you on your trip and we can talk while you travel. Will that work for you?"

"Sure, that sounds cool. I'll email you when we firm up our itinerary and we can schedule something."

"That's great. To tell you the truth, I'd like to see some of the National Parks, too. I've never seen Yosemite. I'll get right to work on cutting you a check, shall we say $100,000 for a one-year option? If we take it into development, there will be a lot more but this is just to seal our deal."

"Amy, what do you think?"

"It seems non-lethal to me, at least at first blush. I want to sleep on it and toss it around with you before we commit to this. Is that all right with you, George?"

"Yes, of course, Amy. Today's lunch was just, shall we say, an initial conversation, that's all. When you accept the check, the deal is done. And that doesn't commit you to anything except letting me have first dibs on your story."

"Okay then, so far it's all good to me."

"Fine. I can call you tomorrow with more details, if you like."

"George, there's no rush with us. Let me give you my business manager/lawyer's number in New York. And from everything I have heard about you, you are a gentlemen and I will only work with righteous people. I've learned from my mistakes."

"You see what I'm saying, Davy? Already, that's the beginning - or the end - of a good story!"

"Amen, brother."

We clinked our sake cups and proceeded to scarf up the yellowtail, the sweet shrimp, the tuna and all the rest of the food which was very, very tasty. I've never really liked sushi but this was something else altogether.

My cell vibrated in my pocket. I excused myself and took the call. It was from the Ferguson show and I asked that they call me back in an hour. I explained to Amy and George who had called.

"That will be fun. I did his show. He's a smart and funny guy," said George.

We talked a bit about Amy and I meeting in Aspen and our subsequent whirlwind romance and trip. George was absorbed and asked a few questions about my days before we met and I gave him a thumbnail sketch. Amy was absorbed, too, and I realized that she didn't know a whole lot of my history.

"This will be an enlightening story for me, too," she said. We finished our lunch and shook hands before parting.

"Davy, I'll call you in the next couple of days. I'd like to see your bus. May I stop by?"

"Certainly, George. We'll give you the five-dollar tour."

Driving away, Amy was very impressed. "Wow, an option on a movie deal! How much better can it get?"

"Baby, like The Carpenter's said, we've only just begun."

Back at the bus, we didn't talk much perhaps because we were both a little overwhelmed by all events and offers since arriving here. The rain had settled down to a light drizzle and Santo was good for a quick walk. I considered that he was a little overwhelmed, too, and mirroring our tension. Amy had set out a glass of wine for me upon our return.

"Davy, how about we snuggle for a while. I have to shower and shave myself. Or maybe you would like to shave me?"

"Ooh, that sounds interesting and different. How can I refuse?"

"Good. You lay out a couple of towels on the bed and I'll get ready."

She showered as I prepared the bed. When she came out, she had her razor, some shaving cream, a scissor and some lotion. She also carried a damp washcloth.

"I've already done my legs and my pits. I'd rather get waxed but I really just need you to clean up my crotch. Do you think you can do that?"

"Ha! Do I! Cleaning you crotch? Ha!" I snipped the scissors.

She placed her butt on the towels and spread her legs wide giving me a delectable view into her pink inside. I leaned over and licked her wetness away.

"First things first," she admonished me.

I picked up the scissor and began to trim her little v-shaped raven-haired landing strip that seemed to be growing back, clearing the stubble from just above the top of her slit. I shaped it and trimmed the tiny pubic hairs growing on the top and the sides. When I was satisfied that I had completed that task, I used the washcloth to wipe the hairs away. I then applied shaving cream around it and down around her mound. With gentle swipes, I lightly shaved around the edges of the strip. Slowly, I shaved around her lips and into the crease of her legs. She raised her knees up and I shaved around her opening and down beneath it. Carefully, I shaved the inside of her lower butt cheeks wherever I saw raven follicles growing back. I warmed up the washcloth and wiped away the shaving cream several times to make sure that I didn't miss anything. Finally, I cleaned her off and slowly massaged her pussy with lotion. I noticed pearls of moisture form in her vagina and I lovingly licked them off. Smiling at me, she rubbed her hand all around her crotch making sure that I had done a good job. Satisfied that I had, she propped herself up on her elbows.

"Would you like me to shave you now? I think I'd like to feel your soft balls."

I was startled. I'd never shaved my forest before. Not that I was opposed to it, it just surprised me. "If you like. I mean, why not?"

"Good. I think I'd like to see what it's like not getting pubic hair caught in my teeth. I promise I'll be gentle. I don't want to hurt my favorite fruit bowl! Go take a warm shower and I'll get ready."

I showered off and examined myself for a few minutes taking in my hair for the last time. I loved how this woman came up with ideas. I walked back into the bedroom as I was toweling off and lay down with my butt on the towels.

"First I have to cut back all this hair so just lay back and I'll go to work." With my head on the pillow, I listened as she snip, snip, snipped away with the scissor. After a few minutes, she swept the hair off me and, with the warm washcloth, wiped my crotch. She applied shaving cream all around me, from my pubes to my ass. With slow delicate swipes, she began to remove my hair. At first, it felt funny and a little ticklish but soon, as she held my dick down so she could clear the hair around the stem, it felt pretty damn nice. When my pubes were done, she wiped me off and reapplied shaving cream to the inside of my upper thighs.

"You have a lot of hair here, buddy, and a lot of it has turned gray. I'm going to make it all young again."

She shaved around the sides of my legs and spread them wider. With one hand, she pushed my balls to the side as she shaved. When that job was complete, she warmed up the washcloth and placed it around my sac.

"Now for the hard part. Put you knees up to your chest. Yes, like that."

I held my knees up as she first used the scissor to clip the long brown curlies that surrounded my scrotum. Then with small motions, she began to shave it clean. It reminded me of getting prepped for my vasectomy and I told her so.

"Don't worry. No blood and no stitches this time."

"Whew! That's a relief! Still, the drugs they gave me afterwards were awesome. Got any of them?"

When she completed this, she wiped me clean and applied lotion all around me. It felt cooling. She told me to turn over onto my hands and knees and went to work on my asshole and down around the base of my sac. Her gentle caresses around the area was getting me hard and with one hand, she lightly held my cock and balls up. She wiped me clean and applied lotion around the area. Placing a glob of lotion into my asshole, she slid her finger in until she was rubbing my prostate. My cock was now standing at full attention.

"Mmmm," she said as she caressed the area, "soft as a baby's ass. What do you think?"

I looked down at my bare hairless crotch and smiled. "It looks cute!"

As she wiped me down and dried me off, she said, "there's one more test."

She cleared all the shaving gear off the bed and removed the towels which were covered in pubic hair, tossing them into the washer. She climbed back onto the bed and crawled up to my head, placing her legs on each side of it. Leaning down, she began to lick and feel my cock and balls. Her moist pussy was inches above my eyes and it smelled wonderful with her musky scent combined with the lotion. I tried to get my tongue into it but she was too high to reach it. Her mouth licked and sucked my sac, gently taking in each testicle and rolling them around. It felt great and she kept murmuring, "so soft, so soft." Her gentle hands cupped my balls as she dipped lower and rimmed me. My cock was flapping against her chin as her hands grasped my cheeks and tongued deep into me. She replaced her tongue with her finger and massaged my prostate. She began to deep throat me, too, and I was euphorically lost.

"I need your vagina."

"Coming right up! Or down!" She swung around and pressed it into my face. It was a frisky sixty-nine with lots of moving around, humping, bouncing and slobbering and it was just fine. She wiggled her bare slit into my face and every one of my features was covered in her wetness. I slurped at her clit whenever it neared my lips but she seemed intent on sliding it back and forth over my nose.

She spent a lot of time licking and sucking on my shaved balls while stroking my stiff cock. I felt us both tremble a bit so I rolled her over and repositioned my cock over her juicy cunt. We banged each other hard and with fast strokes until she cried out that she was cumming. I felt her flood me and for a few moments while I was pumping, I couldn't feel myself inside her at all. But as her orgasm peaked and subsided, I could feel her grip me and I let my cum fly, exploding out of my piss hole and washing into her, our juices mixing and spilling out of her with each one of my hard bursts. We were bathed in sweat and hugging each other. We began to laugh and said, at the same time, "Thanks, I needed that!" and laughed even harder.

"I want to clean you up. I need to..." she said as she rolled out from under me and went down on me again, licking and sucking off any juices that remained. Not to miss a good thing, I buried my tongue into her and began to clean her out. Gobs of cum filled my mouth mixed with her sweet pussy flow. We were both completely sucked dry, or as dry as we could be, and we met in the middle of the bed for some deep kisses.

"So good," she said, "I don't know about you but that was one of those orgasms I want to put into my scrapbook. God, that was great."

"Yeah, that was some unexpected fun."

"We just make the best love, don't we? There's like nothing we can't do with each other. I cannot ever remember a lover who would eat out my cum-filled pussy. And, since you've done that to me, it's always like the icing on the cake."

"I like it, too. It's all good and, to me, there's nothing gross about it. It's a part of our fun. My ex would never let me do that. After I came inside her, she'd rush to the bathroom to wipe herself. I was left feeling abandoned. But with you, it's always amazing. And another thing I have to tell you, when we play with others, it's fun and it feels good and uninhibited and all that, but I will always love sex with you and you alone the most."

"I can't agree more. Our sex is the best. This is real connoisseur sex...like a 5-star Zagat rating. Oh, my...Davy, you're the best."

The phone interrupted our sweet talk but I let it ring. It starting to ring again and I decided to take the call. It was Elon asking if he could send someone over to pick up the bus tomorrow morning.

"Good news, hon. Elon from Tesla Motors is sending someone over to pick up the bus tomorrow morning. We have to call Mark and Deb to make arrangements. But you know what this means, this means we can leave L.A. sooner than we expected.

The phone rang again. This time it was the researcher from Ferguson's show. She asked me about twenty generic questions and I filled her in. It was quick and easy.

The phone immediately rang again. This time, it was Danny calling from New York.

"Listen, Davy, I'm flying out to L.A. tomorrow. Warner's wants to have a meeting on Friday with us and I want to discuss everything with you first. I also have some papers for you and Amy to sign. I've been in contact with her business people and we're all on the same page with everything. So, what's your schedule like?"

"Let's see, tomorrow is Wednesday, right?"

"Last time I checked."

"Ok, tomorrow, Tesla is taking the bus for a couple of days to upgrade it. Amy and I will be staying with the O'Flannerys. Tomorrow afternoon, I'm taping the Craig Ferguson show. When are you flying in?"

"I'm landing late and so I'll go straight to the hotel. I'm staying at the Beverly Wilshire...and I'm bringing Kathy...so I think it's safe to assume that we'll meet up on Thursday. I'll call you when I get to the hotel, okay?"

"Sure. I'm really looking forward to this."

"Yeah, me too. It's about time someone kicked their ass and it's even better that the someone is us. And, by the way, I have a whole dossier assembled on our Mr. Avinet. I've done my homework and a few calls."

"Gooood. That fuckhead was a godsend, wasn't he."

"More than you know. Okay then, I'll talk to you tomorrow night and fill you in."

I called Mark immediately. "Listen, Mark. I'm thinking that we should be doing "Breadbasket" on The Ferguson show and talking about the Food Pantry Benefits."

"I like how you think. Gadd and Hillman are up for it. I asked Flaco, too. I just loved it when we soloed together."

"I like the way you think, Mark." I told him about the bus plans and my schedule over the next few days.

"Deb already has the room made up. She also said that she and Amy have plans for us but I'm not scared. Are you?"

"Well, maybe a little." We laughed.

"So we'll do the soundcheck at five, the taping at seven and be home to watch it. Very cool. What are you guys doing for dinner? Want to meet at The Ivy?"

"No. I hate what Ralph Lauren did to my town, East Hampton, and I don't want to make him wealthier. I don't patronize his places and I don't wear his clothes. What else do you like? And, by the way, no sushi either. We went to Nobu earlier."

"Man, you're tough. How about Mastro's in Beverly Hills. I like that place - great steak."

"Excellent. I'm in the mood for meat."

"Let me make a reservation. We'll pick you up at seven, okay?

"Very okay I'll see you then." And we hung up.

"Amy, Mark and Deb are picking us up for dinner at seven. Mastro's in Beverly Hills. Steak."

"That's good. I haven't had a really good steak in weeks."

I took Santo out for a walk. The rain had stopped but it was still overcast although it was brighter and far less threatening. When we returned, Amy was at the computer.

"I spoke to Deb and she said to get dressed up, this place is on the fancy side. I just checked the menu too, and it's expensive."

"So what. Like my old man said, 'What the fuck, it's only a buck.' Not only do we have it to spend it but I'm picking up the tab. I'm feeling euphoric these days. And after we leave L.A., restaurant prices will go down considerably. We're going to have costs when we start down the road again and this summer, we're going to do lots of benefit work. But why worry? Not only to we have lots of money but we're going to make lots more in the next few months. Sorry if I sound a little lavish with our money but let's go a little crazy. What the fuck..., right? What are we saving it for?"

"You're right. I don't know what it is, maybe my old life is in the back of my mind. And I don't know why. It's old habits...hey, check this out."

She had YouTube up and the videos had gone viral. The benefit videos were running about 250,000 a day and the Aspen video was up well over a million views.

"Wow. Wow. Wow. I hate to sound like a money-grubbing fool, but if all this interest in me can be converted into cash, what are you worrying about?"

"You're right. You're right. I'll stop it now and take a shower. I'm still dripping from that great sex, you animal!"

"Look who's talking! Takes one to know one."

"Nyah, Nyah, Nyah." She said slipping into the shower.

I fixed Santo his grub and ripped up some chicken into it. I fixed a couple of joints and sat back to get laid back.

When the shower turned off it was my turn and I walked in. Amy said that she was going to look especially good tonight. I found that thought odd as I've never seen this woman look anything less. I dried off and took some extra time to rub some talcum powder into my crotch. When I walked out, Amy was in her new lingerie set. A cream colored skirt made of soft leather sat on the bed and a dark blue blouse to match her bra was on top of it.

I selected a pair of black slacks and a black cowboy-cut shirt to go under a loose Tom Ford black jacket. I pulled out my black boots and gave them a quick shine.

"You look hot, mister. Kind of reminds me of Johnny Cash."

"Yeah, it's my 'outlaw' look. And you look like dessert to me"

She put on her turquoise brooch and a set of diamond earrings. We looked at each other and nodded approvingly. Mark and Deb pulled up and they looked hot, too.

"Don't we look like a bunch of fucking stars? We look radiant!" said Mark.

"Aptly put," said Deb. "Especially after that interlude this afternoon!"

"You, too," shrieked Amy. "We steamed up the bus!"

I passed a joint to Mark as we stood around. Amy and Deb were giggling privately and I asked them what the joke was. They both turned to us and lifted their skirts.

"We're wearing our new lingerie!" they laughed.

I closed and locked up the bus and we headed off towards Beverly Hills for dinner. Amy said that she'd read the menu and knew exactly what she was going to order. Mark and I began to fight when I told him that I was picking up the tab. I won.

Deb said, "You know, Mark and I had a bit of an argument today about how much money we've been pissing away. As usual, Mark settled me down."

Mark jumped right in. "What are you worried about? I just got a soundtrack offer this morning!"

"Davy and I went through the same discussion and the result was the same."

"Listen Amy, I thought about what you said and I decided that I'd be more careful - but not stingy - from now on. I decided to only buy you small diamonds."

"The hell you say, wise ass, no 'small' diamonds for me! I'm one classy broad, you know, and I ain't cheap...or not that cheap! Actually, sometimes I like being cheap."

The restaurant was as good as Mark said it was. Amy had a Shrimp Cocktail appetizer set in dry ice and it made quite a presentation. I had my favorite salad, a wedge of iceberg with bacon and blue cheese. I had a Filet Mignon that melted in my mouth while Amy went for the porterhouse. Our steaks were even better with the Joseph Phelps 2005 Insignia Cabernet. When the check came, it was over $400.00. Was it worth it? Is any meal worth that much? Well, for that moment, it was worth every penny. I tipped well because the service was also superb. Amy tried to sneak a peek at the bill but I wouldn't let her.

As we left the restaurant, a paparazzo approached us, camera flashing. "Davy, look this way." We ignored him, as celebrities are supposed to do, and got into the Caddy.

"Let's go for a nightcap,' suggested Mark. "We can go across the street to the Beverly Hilton, or a few blocks down to the Tower, the Chateau Marmont, ooh, how 'bout The Magic Castle? Let's go there."

"Yeah, let's do that. I love magic."

We drove to the castle in Hollywood Hills. We passed a little motel where I once rented a room for a month while I was recording at Warner's. The motel still looked the same and in need of a paint job. There was a line behind the velvet rope as we pulled in. A valet took the car and ushered us in. The reason for the line was because both Penn & Teller and Ricky Jay were there that night. We sat by the bar and watched as Ricky sliced playing cards in half from fifty feet away. It was great fun watching his show while he kibitzed with Penn.

We stayed for over an hour as Jay's set ended and Penn Gillette bounded onto the stage for an amusing face off with Jay. Gillette asked for a volunteer from the audience and pointed right to Amy who refused to participate. "No knives being thrown at me, thank you," she yelled. He pointed to Deb who also shook him off and then selected a woman near the front. He blindfolded her and from behind he pulled her bra off and waved it at the crowd. Jay screamed "Fraud!" and reached behind Penn and seemingly, pulled a bra off him to the roar of the audience. Penn shrugged and sent the woman back into the audience. We left not long after that.

We piled back into the bus and lit up another bone. Mark and I took it with us as we walked Santo. We agreed that Amy and I would drive over to their place after the bus was picked up. From their house, we'd head to the TV studio. They left and Amy and I agreed it was a great night and the Magic Castle was the topper to a great meal. It was late so I turned on the TV in the bedroom and we watched Craig Ferguson, just to pick up his vibe. It seemed like it would be easy enough and I was not the least bit worried. We fell out just as it ended.

The next morning, we were up at 7:30 and packed by 8:30. I cleaned out everything we needed and packed up the Bentley, which fortunately had a huge trunk and back seat. Santo had to sit under Amy's legs which he didn't seem to mind. Elon and two assistants showed up at 9:30.

"You know, you can always come over to the showroom and pick up your stuff. You didn't have to jam it all in the car. And anyway, I want to you come by everyday so you can check our progress and approve the interior changes. If you do that, I promise I'll have it back to you on Saturday."

"Sure, Elon, whatever you say." I introduced him to Amy.

"Elon, we really love this thing. Can you really make it better?"

"Amy, I promise you - you have my word - you will love this even more. What do you say to an environmental bath instead of a shower. It's not only nicer and more luxurious but it's more environmentally conscious. It's one of Ed's great ideas. In fact, I may hire him on as an ecological advisor, he's amazing."

"Yes, Elon, he really knows his stuff," I agreed. "What else can you tease us with?"

"I'd rather surprise you but I'm pulling out the washer and dryer and replacing them...how's about interior LEDs that change color according to your mood...and a 60" HDTV? That's all I'm going to tell you now, you'll have to wait. Amy, let me ask you something, do you like the fabric colors as they are? Right now, they're kind of a nothing beige."

"I like earth tones," she said, "but you can add some variations to give the interior some life."

"Good. I like earth tones, too, but I like them a bit warmer. We'll talk tomorrow about this, all right? Now, I want to drive it back to the shop. I haven't driven this since we first built it and I want to see what the miles have done."

"Elon, I'm curious about something. Can you tell me why Ferrin gave it up?"

"Oh, sure. What I was told that he was uncomfortable driving such a beast. He preferred his custom Hummer that pulled his custom Airstream. He shipped them both to Africa where he's currently working. I'm glad that it ended up with you guys, that makes me very pleased. I'm really proud of this project even though I never really considered it finished...and I can't wait until you see what we can do now. We'll talk tomorrow, my guys are waiting."

His assistant connected some computers and modules to some outlets in the cockpit and we watched them drive off. Amy and I stopped at the trailer park office and paid the bill. On the way over to the O'Flannery home, we stopped for some flowers and another quick stop for some bagels, assorted cream cheeses and smoked fish. Amy called Deb and told her that we were on our way and to have coffee ready.

The CD player blared as we pulled into their driveway:

"Look at that mountain, Look at those trees Look at that bum over there, man, He's down on his knees Look at these women, There ain't nothin' like em nowhere Century Boulevard (We love it) Victory Boulevard (We love it) Santa Monica Boulevard (We love it) Sixth Street (We love it, we love it, we love it) We love L.A."

"Ha, ha! Funny, man. Very funny!" Mark was loving my choice of music. "Do you know Randy Newman?" he asked.

"I met him once a long time ago at a concert he did with Jackson and Bonnie Raitt. I was when they were first coming up."

"Randy's one funny cat. He used to live over there before his divorce." He pointed to a house on the opposite side of the canyon. "We had some fun times."

We settled into the house and sat down for some bagels and lox. We talked a little about the changes Elon was making and about our plans to leave once the bus was done. Mark said that he had a gig up in San Francisco next weekend so we could hook up there. After breakfast, we pulled out our instruments and started to toss tunes around.

"You've got to do Amy's song again. Amy, get the lyrics." I fiddled around with a melody line and worked out some of the chord changes with her. I started to play as Amy sang.

"Call me on the telephone, Pick a time when I'm home alone, Put on your deepest baritone, and Talk Dirty To Me.

Tell me your deepest hidden fantasies, Describe a part of me you'd like to squeeze, You raise my body heat by ten degrees when you Talk Dirty To Me."

Mark added some cool fills and by the time we reached the end, Deb was in tears. We applauded Amy and I said, "Tell me, how great is that?"

"Oh yeah, that one is a keeper. Audiences will love that. Nice going, Amy. You two make some team! You should cut that ASAP. Maybe we'll sneak into a studio in the next couple of days."

"Good idea, Mark. We really should."

We spent the rest of the morning laying around the pool and smoking dope. I fell asleep for a little while and was awakened when Steve and Chris showed up. Flaco showed up about a half hour later. We went over "Breadbasket" a couple of times, nailing it each time. But each time we played it, Mark and Flaco only got tighter. Mark made Amy sing "Talk Dirty To Me" for them and now, with a chord chart, we nailed that one, too. Amy was thrilled when she heard it with a full band. Mark asked if they would be willing to record it some time in the next couple of days and Steve said, "Yeah, sure. Are you going to go out on the road because I wouldn't mind joining you. I'n on rthe beach for the next month."

Mark filled him in on some of the sketchy summer plans we had with Crosby, Nash, Browne et al.

"Count me in," said Chris. "Graham already told me a little about it and I'm pumped."

"How about you, Flaco? Are you into it?"

"Maybe for a few gigs but you know, I hate touring and anyway, I'm getting too old for this shit and I haven't been feeling all that well lately."

Before we knew it, it was time to head to Studio City. It was not too far north and Mark drove so it took no time. We were ushered in and parked right next to the studio. There were fans out there waiting for us and we signed a bunch of autographs. Amy recognized one of the fans as a friend from Aspen and they hugged. I commented that everywhere we go, she seems to bump into someone she knows. Not me. That rarely happens to me. Oh, I might get recognized now and then but those people are fans, not old friends. Maybe that's the wrong way to phrase that but I think you know what I mean.

Once inside the studio, it took no time to set up and take levels. We played a couple of songs before a small audience and got the okay from the director. We were escorted to the green room and told we'd go on after Maggie and then I'd be escorted to the couch for the interview.

"Amy, how are you feeling? Comfortable?"

"I'm okay but just a little nervous. Linda told me to look at you and not the cameras or the audience. I'm good. Don't worry, baby." and she kissed me.

Maggie Gyllinhaal stopped by our dressing room and we exchanged warm greetings. Naturally, Amy and Deb were all over her and her baby. Craig came in a few minutes later and had us laughing. On the serious side, we spoke about the L.A. Food Bank and about his work with the organization.

"The benefit was great but they wouldn't let me on stage. I'm not big enough yet! I tried to get over to see you at the party but you were mobbed and...I'm not big enough! Ha! Well, fuck you...for a good cause, I mean. And I meant that in the best sense."

"Aw, come on, Craig."

"But hey, this show is for Friday, so when we talk, just make believe it's Friday, okay. And don't worry about your language, we'll just bleep you anyway."

The Floor Manager came by and said that it was show time. As Craig left we wished him a great show. We dressed in our show clothes which were exactly what we wore for the benefit...better to match to the YouTube videos. After about an hour, we were called. Our stage was set during the break and we took our places.

Craig got his cue and introduced us. "We have a treat for you tonight. You know how I like to say that it's a great day for America? Well, last weekend was truly a great day for America and for Los Angeles. There was a benefit for the L.A. Food Bank, which we'll talk about later, but right now, I want to introduce one of the highlights that night. Folks, this is a super group - Mark O'Flannery, Flaco Jimenez, Chris Hillman, Amy Bieler and Steve Gadd backing up a true legend. Ladies and Gentlemen, Davy Harper." (applause)

"Every evening around six o'clock, we gather 'round the table, Mom and Dad and Grampa, me and my sister, Mabel, We fold our hands and thank the Lord, For the meal we're about to share, And vow to do what's right and do all that we are able."

From the downbeat, we were in the pocket. Mark and Flaco danced the solo and it sounded like pearls. Amy's high harmony couldn't be sweeter.

"It's up to us, the those-who-have To fill the pantry shelves With cans of food and healthy stuff, It's how we help ourselves.

So pass the beans, pass them collared greens, Pass the chicken and dumplings, And please, please, please, before I blow a gasket, Pass the juice, pass the butter, And pass me that old bread basket."

Applause. "Davy Harper and Friends. We'll be right back...right after this." and out.

The stage hands struck the set and it was about fifteen minutes before we began to tape again. I was seated on the couch next to Craig's desk. I asked him if Mark could join us and he agreed but Mark wouldn't do it saying, "It's your moment, man. Enjoy it."

Cue Craig. "Welcome back. Did you remember to flush? Good. I'm here with Davy Harper, a rare treat - someone who rarely appears on television. Davy, let me say that you were great on Saturday night and that song is terrific. I've heard it may become the theme song for the L.A. Food Bank."

"If that song can fill the shelves, I'm happy, Craig. All thanks to my buddies, Mark O'Flannery, Steve Gadd, Chris Hillman, Flaco Jimenez, Ry Cooder, Van Dyke Parks, Linda Ronstadt, Steve Martin, Ed Begley, Snoop Dogg, Mr. Dylan and all the folks who made that show happen. Uh, Craig, can I just add that the folks at home can help out by going to lafightshunger.org or by going to their local food banks and pantries and making donations. Bring sealed canned food. A little or a lot, it doesn't matter, it all helps."

"Let me put that up on the screen. You naked people laying in bed at home, move your feet apart and write it down! There's a food bank in your neighborhood, check it out and do something.

"Yes, folks, to paraphrase John Lennon, 'Give Peas a chance'." The audience groaned.

"Hey! What is this (oohlala)? I'm the funny guy here! It's a joke, it's a joke. Davy, I want to talk about that web site with You and the Tube, if you know what I mean...wink, wink...they don't advertise on this show so why should I plug them."

"Well, Craig, I did a little show in Aspen about a little while back. Just some friends and my partner, Amy, at the Woody Creek Tavern outside of Aspen Colorado. Anyway, the next day, it was on the web, on YouTube and it's really taken off. There are also clips of the benefit concert you can check out on there, too."

"Aren't you angry that someone stole your show and put it on the web?"

"Why should I be mad? I'm tickled that people like the song. I get a kick out of watching it, too. I'm not some music business weasel, you know, let the music out, let it breathe."

"Do you have any plans to take to the road? I'm sure a lot of people around the country...hell, around the world...would love to see you perform and hear your music again."

"Welllll...I'm not at liberty to discuss this yet but I'll tease you little..."

"I love being teased...go ahead, tease me, big boy!" he said mincingly.

"Right now, a traveling show is being planned to tour this summer. Some very big names..like the biggest names in the biz...are planning to raise awareness and maybe even some money for food banks around the country. See the idea is - we hit your town and you bring cans of food and there are big collection bins and then we leave and we hit the next town...something like that..."

"But you won't give us any names..."

"It's not formalized yet but you'll know soon enough and I promise all of you, this is the one show you'll want to see...we're bringing back the Summer Of Love!"

"That's sounds great, Davy. You know, I missed the Summer Of Love the first time it came around. I was just a wee laddie back in Scotland, wearing short pants and too young to get really...well, you know what I mean...but hey, I have something here for you. Let me explain to the viewers: when I asked Davy to appear on the show, he made a totally outrageous demand. He said he wanted to play with a puppet. Can you imagine that!...so here's a puppet for you...his name is Stoner and he's a real cool cat...I think he's actually supposed to be an alley cat...here's my puppet...he's a dog and his name is Boner...Stoner and Boner, ya like that?...let's do a scene, okay?"...(This is my dog accent) 'Hey dude...excuse my large privates, would you...I really dig your music and always have. I got all your CDs."

"Far out, man...thanks...I wish I got some royalties from the sales...want to get high?"

"Sure! Whatcha got? Heh Heh."

"Well, come on down when the Food Pantry Cavalcade of Stars comes to your town and the music will make you high, high, high. Here, try some of this..."

Applause and laughter. "Thank you, Day Harper, ladies and gentlemen...be on the lookout this summer and..."

"Bring cans of food to the show. Do the right thing. Let's help out all our brothers and sisters."

Applause. "Thank you, Davy. Good night everyone, see you next week."

Applause. Theme music. Credits. And out. Lights down.

"That was great, Davy. That worked out great."

"Thanks, Craig. I think it turned out real good. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to pitch. I think I got everything in."

We walked backstage and got a nice round of applause from the gang. I thanked them all for helping me and they all said they would see me at the studio. I also went to pay them for their work but they sussed me and offered to donate it to the Food Bank. And, oh yeah, Amy gave me a big hug.

"I can't wait to see this on TV. Tomorrow, we have to call everybody."

We headed back to their house and I was starting to deflate. Mark stopped to pick up some Chinese food. As soon as we returned, We munched on some egg rolls and dim sum. I stripped down and hit the hot tub. Mark joined me with his bong.

"You did well, tonight, man. And we rocked."

"You da man, Mark. I can't thank you enough for getting the band together."

"Fuck that. They wanted to do it. You did a world of good tonight. I thank you."

Amy and Deb joined us in the tub and we sat around reveling. I stood up to get a wine refill and Deb screamed, "You're shaved! You shaved your nuts!"

We laughed and Amy said, "Yes, we did each other this morning. I love the way it feels and there's no picking hair from my teeth!"

"I have to feel that. Come here and let me feel you, Davy." Her small hands cupped my balls in her palm. She stroked her hands all around my crotch and touched everywhere I'd shaved. "Oh, this is nice, They feel so nice and soft."

"Deb, they're even better in your mouth," said Amy as she watched closely. She lifted my dick so Deb could have access as my balls got a nice tongue bath. I smiled and thanked her and then sat back down in the tub.

"Mark, will you let me shave your balls?"

"I don't know about this, Deb. I like my balls the way they are...and you never complained before."

"Stand up and let me see them. Show them to Amy." The girls felt and bobbled his balls in their hands. "These are nice balls but they just don't feel as soft and as fun as Davy's. Come over here, Davy. Feel his balls, Mark, and tell me that isn't so cool."

Mark felt my sac and ran both his hands around. "Yes, I admit that they feel nice. I'll think about it, all right?"

I sat back down. "I'll tell you what I like the most about being shaved. I like the feeling of rubbing against Amy's vagina. Maybe it's psychological or maybe it's the lack of hair but I feel closer and tighter, especially at the base of my dick. It feels nice."

"Let's see how you feel about that when they itch, buddy."

"Chauvinist!," cried Amy. "It's okay for us but not for you, huh? When it itches, I'll rub lotion all over it and it will feel fine...just like we do."

I enjoyed all the give and take but I was in my post-performance crash and I was sinking lower in the tub as my eyes slowly closed.

"Uh-oh. My honey is about to drown. Come on, Davy, let me tuck you in. Come on, big guy, come on. I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

I grabbed one more toke as she led me toward the guest quarters. Santo followed us. She tucked me into the king-sized bed and kissed me gently. "I love you, Davy Harper." Santo jumped onto the bed and curled up at my feet. Within minutes, I was out cold and in sweet dreamland.

The next morning, I bounced out of bed. Standing by the picture windows, I took in the radiant sunshine and the amazing view. Mark was swimming laps and I walked out onto the deck and dove in.

"You missed the fun last night. We sat around stoned and told stories and laughed a lot. Those two are intent on shaving me...or at least trimming me. I think I'll let them play with me tonight."

"Somehow, I knew you'd give in. Believe me, Mark, it feels great from this side, too. And don't worry, it won't hurt and they won't slip."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Davy," Amy called from the kitchen, "coffee's ready." I pulled myself out of the pool, toweled off and went inside as Mark continued to swim.

"Girls, I think you've convinced him. I think he's going to let you trim his shrubbery tonight."

"Yippee," said Deb. "I think that tonight, Amy and I are going to show you guys the other stuff we bought." She brought her hand to my balls and gently fondled them. "And you are going to love it. I promise."

I smiled at her. I liked her exuberance. I wrapped the towel around myself and sat down for my coffee and toasted rye bagel with cream cheese.

"Davy, Danny called late last night. He said his flight was delayed and was worried that he missed Craig's show. I filed him in and he said he'd call us when he and Kathy woke up. I'm guessing that his wife doesn't know a thing about Kathy, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. She probably doesn't care. Danny's wife, Irene, is a real drip, and a gold digger - a piece of shit. They had kids and moved apart soon after. She lives in Florida now and won't divorce him. He doesn't care. He says, "Either way, I have to pay her. At least she's a tax deduction this way." Whatever works, I guess. Even their kids don't like her. He and Kathy have had a thing for years ever since her husband died in a car accident. They are very close in his business, as well. Like I said - whatever works. Any plans for today?"

"Deb and I were thinking of playing some tennis this afternoon. Other than checking out what Elon is up to and meeting with Danny, nothing else. ...Oh, yeah...and we also have to email the world about the show tomorrow night."

"Maybe we'll visit my friend Elaine. She has a tennis court. You'll like her."

Santo was soaking up the sun. Marion and Orson slept by his side and they all looked happy. I sipped my coffee and listened to the girls jabber away. I headed back to our room to hit the bathroom. I also wanted to check my email.

I got a nice note from Craig saying how well the show went. Another email from Flaco thanking me for a good time. One from my daughter. One from my sister. a few "grow-your-penis" junk. Danny called me and asked where I was and did I want to met them for breakfast. I told him that I'd already had breakfast and that they should have breakfast in bed and then call me back so I could give him directions to Mark's house. I proceeded to email all my friends and family about Craig's show. I called my daughter, my sister, even the nurse at my mother's Alzheimer's home in Florida. About an hour later, Danny called and said they'd be over in a few minutes. I walked out to tell Mark as he was walking out to see me.

"I have a studio for you at four this afternoon. Steve, Chris and Flaco will be there. Flaco asked if he could call Van Dyke and I said yes. We're good to go."

"That's great, Mark. You know I haven't been in a studio in a long time but I like to record live with a minimum of dubs. I'd like to do three demos: "Breadbasket," "...Key of Me" and Amy's song. I can make some dupes and give them to Danny to copyright. I don't want to put these out, except maybe to give "Breadbasket" to the Food Bank with a provision to allow other food banks to use it. I'll give them the royalties, too. But I want to pay all the musicians, including you. Give me a number and I'll pay them all cash."

"I appreciate the offer but I won't take your money and neither will the other guys." He put his arm over my shoulder. "Listen Davy, I've spoken to them and what you don't seem to understand is that your success means a lot to us. We all know what the business did to you and we know how hard you fought back but we also realize that it wasn't enough and they buried you. You inspired us then and now that you've returned from the dead to inspire us again. We all have a vested interest in you because you are us. Don't you see that? So thanks but no thanks."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I was quite shaken by what he said and I began to cry. I really had no idea that I'd ever made any impact on anybody, let alone my peers or my idols. Mark and I hugged. I felt more resolved than ever before to destroy the music companies that had stolen my youth and my altruism, who left me to wallow in purgatory while they laughed at me and profited off me. I felt the anger at my ex and her family and how they debased me constantly over my career. At that moment, I understood that my career and my art wasn't just some youthful spree. I always thought I was alone and I never saw the crowd around me. I felt ashamed but I also felt redeemed.

I heard sounds in the house. Danny and Kathy had arrived and Amy and Deb were introducing themselves. I collected myself and wiped off my eyes.

"Thank you, Mark. You can never ever understand how much that meant to me. I will never forget it. I love you, my friend."

"I know. I know. Now let's meet Danny and hear the game plan. Tomorrow is Armageddon."

They came out onto the deck and one look from Amy told me that she knew something very heavy had just gone down between Mark and myself. I smiled at her and greeted Danny.

"Davy, my friend. You look better than I've seen you look in years. I guess I should thank Amy for that." I hugged Danny and turned to hug Kathy.

"Kathy, how long has it been? The two of you look wonderful."

"Quiet, Davy. Irene will hear you!" I introduced him to Mark and he began to compliment him. Same old Danny, effusive and warm. He and Kathy were still two little pudgeballs, like two peas in a pod. And he was still the same hamish New Yorker.

"Mark, this is some nice spread. What a beautiful view. And nobody deserves it more than you. Good for you."

"Why don't all of you come into the living room. I'll make some more coffee." Deb pointed the way as we sat down around the room. Danny fixed himself a half a bagel.

"First thing, Davy, I brought you some presents. Manny's closed their doors but I bought you a box of your favorite picks. Here." I smiled and laughed inside. "And this is from Emma who told me to tell you how proud she is of her dad." He handed me a bakery box tied with string. I opened it up to reveal a half dozen Yonah Schimmel Potato Knishes from Delancey Street.

"My favorite." I showed them off and Amy put them in the fridge for later.

"Amy, Mark got us studio time at four with the A-Team."

"Maybe tennis is for tomorrow, then. Is that okay, Deb?" Deb shrugged as if to say 'who cares'.

"Davy, you have no idea how glad I am that you're writing and singing again. I always knew this day would come and I am so proud and happy for you. Everything that went before is leading up to now, you know. I mean, look what happens - you sing in Aspen, someone videos it and next thing you know, the whole world wants it. I bumped into Chuck D the other day on 8th Avenue and he just looked at me and said, "What goes around comes around. You tell my pal Davy Harper we're all rooting for him."

"Chuck is a good man. Oh, and by the way, Bob Dylan gave you props a couple of nights ago."

"Did he? He still remembers? How nice of him. But enough of that, we have business to attend to. First off, I have to have you two sign some partnership papers. Davy, your signature is in the blue flags and Amy, you sign where the green flags are, ok. This one first...good...now this one..."

"Shouldn't we be reading these first?" asked Amy.

"Sure if you want to but I have copies of everything for you. I put these together with your guys in Aspen. If there's anything you don't like, we'll rip these up and amend them."

"Amy," I said, "I trust Danny implicitly. He's the very best at what he does and I know that he'd never do anything to harm me. You can trust him, too."

"Ok, if you say he's good, he's good. But I still want to go over them later with you. I actually like to read the details. Now, where do I sign."

"Over here...over here on this one and over here. That's the last one, right Kathy?" Kathy nodded and collected the paperwork. She put them in separate envelopes and handed one set to Amy.

Danny continued, "That's all done. Good. Das es alles. Now here's my analysis of tomorrow's meeting and forgive me but this has been rolling through my mind for a few weeks now." Kathy handed him a folder and, putting on his bifocals, he glanced through it. "Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Okay. Now look, Warner's is going to try to play fast and loose because they don't know any other way. It's their culture. They're going to talk about how great it is to have you back in the family and all the rest of that bullshit. When they discover that you don't want to be back in their house, they're going to make offers and sweet talk you. At that point, we lay it down on the table - but not all our cards. We tell them that we want all the masters, all the cover art, all the publishing rights - you know, the whole nine yards, if I might use a garment district saying..."

"Wait a second, Danny, I thought that was a football saying," interrupted Amy.

"No. It actually goes back to the garment district in New York. I come from a family of tailors. Nine yards is a bolt of fabric and the dealers would use one yard as a sample to go around to the clothing houses to sell..."

"Danny, explain later. Sorry, Amy, he gets distracted," interrupted Kathy.

"So as I was saying, we tell them what we want from them and we want it immediately. No negotiations. Period. End of Story. They'll fight and threaten. We tell them that we still have all the old contracts and we want a full accounting by Lewis and Spergal as well as a BMI and ASCAP report. The contracts went void in 1990 and you've never received a penny on anything, let alone royalties. I have here two letters, one from Charley Rangel and one from Chuck Schumer, both suggesting that they want to open hearings on corporate mismanagement in the music industry. They'll pooh-pooh that and suggest how much help they can offer you in the future. We tell them that, as a sign of good faith, they hand over $12,000,000 dollars in past earnings and maybe, just maybe, we'll consider negotiations. They'll laugh at us and tell us that we still owe them money that they expended forty years ago. At this point, we get up to leave and drop the dime. We tell them that their boy, Tom Avinet, is spilling his guts to the D.A. and we know for a fact their record of extortion as well as the mob connections. Not only with you but with other artists. We've already turned the info over to the FBI who now has Avinet singing like a bird. We tell them that when we leave their office, we're giving the story to the press. They will threaten us and, at that point I will make a phone call to Robert Mueller in Washington who is expecting my call. I'll put him on speaker and let him read them the riot act. I guarantee that we will never make it to the elevator before they hand us a check and an agreement. That's how I read this."

"Whew!" I shook my head. "Do you really think it will go down like this?"

"Have I ever been wrong about shit like this? Remember what went down with Paul Simon and Columbia or Billy Joel and Columbia. Those shmucks ended up selling everything to Sony just to stay out of jail. This is dime-story novel crap. They don't know any other way. They wrote the script and they're going to get hung by it."

"Danny, I think you're right. You have them by the balls. Avinet was the smoking gun."

"They've been too cocky for too long. They'll make the deal and then tell you that you'll never work in this town again. They just don't realize that their reign is over. You're going to open up the floodgates, Davy. And, really, what have we got to lose? Your career is exploding in front of them, without their support and without their control. They want in and they're desperate. But it doesn't matter, they'll all be on line at the Food Banks soon enough. Let's give them the push. I say, fuck 'em. Welcome to the twenty-first century, cocksuckers. Pardon my french, ladies."

"Let's do it. I'm ready. I know the script - I've been reading it for years waiting for the curtain to go up. I used to go to sleep dreaming it. I'm ready."

"Good. And when it's over, just for good measure, we'll leak the story anyway. Fuck 'em."

Amy raised her coffee cup, "Let's get 'em. The champagne is on ice!"

I sat back and caught my breath. I looked at Mark and nodded. He understood. Just then, my phone rang. It was Elon asking if we could come over in about an hour. I suggested that Danny and Kathy might want to come with us and they eagerly agreed. Outside, I appeared very calm and steady but I wasn't fooling anyone.

An hour later, Elon was taking us through the bus which was mostly ripped apart. He explained the alterations in the newer, updated mechanics and then discussed the interior design elements with Amy, who selected fabrics and leathers. Danny, Kathy and I looked at the components sitting next to the bus: the new shower, the new TVs, the Mark Levinson speakers, the new washer and dryer. Several very large pieces were under wraps and Elon would not tell me what they were saying that it was a surprise. Ed drove up in his electric car. He had a sheaf of paper in his hand and he handed Elon several boxes of Begley's Best Environmental Cleaner. Ed and Elon huddled in a corner and Elon was nodding his head in agreement.

"Davy, you're going to revolutionize the RV business. You going to breath new life into them!" I hugged Ed and introduced him to Danny and Kathy. "If I may be so bold..." He leaned over and gave Amy a kiss.

"Davy, hooking me up with Ed is one of the best moves I've ever made. This guy sees further into the future than I do!" Elon slapped Ed on the back. "You folks are done here. Amy has made some choices. I'll see you again tomorrow, okay? And by the way, although you can't tell by the way it looks, we're ahead of schedule."

On the way back to Mark's, I stopped at Nate 'n Al's for some deli. Stuffing boxes into the trunk, he drove away drooling. Once in the house, Deb heated up the knishes in the oven.

"Where's Mark, Deb?"

"Oh, he ran out to take care of a few things and said he's be back in a few. He left these for you," she pointed to a bunch of rolled fatties on the table. "What did you get, Davy?"

I began to pull out pastrami sandwiches, corned beef sandwiches, brisket sandwiches, half-sour pickles, potato salad, stuffed cabbage, kasha varnishkas, kishka, and for Danny, a corned beef and tongue sandwich. "Okay, so it ain't Katz's but it's maybe the best L.A. has to offer."

Kathy was already toking up while Danny's eyes were bugging out at the array of food. Mark came bounding in, "What's that I smell? Is that corned beef? Wow. Stuffed cabbage?"

"Jesus, Mark, you are so Irish! They're called Glumpkies...with raisins. Damn!" We had a great lunch, full of laughter, camaraderie and belching. The knishes were as delicious as I remembered them and I described the dumbwaiter at Yonah Schimmel's that brings them up from the basement knish factory kitchen. After a while, Mark said it was time to go to the studio. We packed our axes and everyone climbed in cars. We followed Mark to Shangrila in Malibu, in a secret location, where Steve, Chris and Van Dyke were already set up and waiting.

"Davy, I brought you a surprise." He motioned me into the studio control room where John Sebastian was sitting with Linda Ronstadt, Karla Bonoff, Jimmy Buffett and David Hidalgo. "I wouldn't miss this for the world, my old friend," said John with his beatific smile. Mark said that Flaco called and apologized for not making the session but he wasn't feeling well so I called David who jumped at it."

Surrounded by these wonderful people, I laid out what I wanted to do. "Listen, my friends, I want to make this short and painless for everyone. I've always liked to record live with a minimum of dubs. If it's right the first time, why bother putzing around with it. We can add the vocals after if you like. If you think we can do better, we can do it again. I'm loose and I like everyone else to be loose, too. I want to do three songs like we're on stage doing a gig. First one is a song Amy wrote yesterday called "Talk Dirty to Me." Next one is "In the Key of Me" (The Aspen Song), and then "Breadbasket." Here are the lead sheets and I'll run you through them, okay. Danny and Kathy, you sit in the control room but we may need you later in the chorus. Oh, and there's one more thing. I want to pay you all for helping me to this."

They all started to say no and shush me but I continued. "No, I insist. I owe all of you. If you won't take cash then I will find a way to repay you all, I swear it. Whatever you ask, I'll do."

They all shushed me but I pulled Amy up to the mic and ran down her song. Everyone loved it immediately and an arrangement was quickly developed. Van Dyke played a Jelly Roll Morton type of barrelhouse. Mark and David worked out a break with a opening for John to take it out. We recorded it in three takes. Linda and Karla raced into the studio to hug Amy and insist that they needed to do their backup vocals immediately. As I listened to it in the control room, I was beaming. It was letter perfect. Amy even added a sultry giggle at the very end.

We then developed "In the Key of Me" and this arrangement was set up by Mark. He had Steve lay down a beat not unlike the one we played at the Spa concert, minimal but with a kick. John immediately knew where to go and David played a somber countermelody under Mark's violin. Van Dyke felt that he should not play on it because he heard the song as something fragile, woody and airy. Chris played string bass and gave the song it's earthiness. Jimmy and I worked out a simple, laid back harmony with Amy on the high part. I let Jimmy take the second verse solo. We did the song in one take and I said, "That's it!" Nobody agreed, everyone had an opinion but on playback, we all smiled and nodded. I was right. One take.

"Breadbasket" took on another life. Van Dyke created a rolling arrangement that was at once dense and intricate but also full of space. It was as if you could walk between the instruments. We expanded the song so that everyone had a solo part a la "We Are The World." It took us five takes and several solo overdubs before we got to the vocals. They took another three takes before we listened back. Van Dyke heard a coda with Linda, Amy, Karla and Kathy singing one part as Jimmy, John, David, and Danny sang another. I riffed my part over both parts and it fit like a kid glove. It was clearly a moment of magic as Van Dyke conducted us. We added one more part as Steve Gadd laid down a funky percussion bottom. On playback, we applauded. I was very, very happy with the results.

"Okay, let's pack it up and get out of here. Is anyone hungry? Straight? Anyone want to rip the roof off some dump?"

"No," said Deb, "Let's go back to our place. I have a ton of great leftovers. Come on, let's have a party."

Everyone piled into cars and headed off to Mark's. I called Elon to see if he wanted to come over and he said that he and Ed were still at the shop but would take a break and stop by. Ed said he's pick up his wife and meet us. I stuck around to get the masters and the dupes. I paid the engineer two thousand dollars in cash and I thought I should pay him more but Danny wouldn't allow it.

"But Danny, this is Bob Dylan's studio. Robbie Robertson's studio. The Band recorded here. Clapton. The Wilburys..."

"And now, Davy Harper. Good company, my friend."

We got to Mark's place and he immediately put the dupes on his deck and started to burn some CDs. Listening to it in his music room made it sound even better, if that was possible. Mark made 5 copies, numbered them and gave them to me. He packed up the masters and the dupes and gave them to Danny. I gave CDs to Mark, to Danny, to Jimmy and to Van Dyke, keeping one for myself. Mark said that I had to have more than one and burned a couple more, adding one extra for the Food Bank. He promised Danny he would wait until the copyright was complete.

The party was in full swing as wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends and significant others arrived. Deb was right as there was plenty of food (leftover ribs, chinese and deli), drink and smoke to satisfy everyone. Elon talked cars and Ed talked green. Everyone else talked music. A wonderful time was had by all and as they all filtered out, they wished us well on our trip and the Ferguson show. I had a notebook full of dates to meet up with most of them at different venues and I relished the thought of playing gigs with Los Lobos in Denver, with John Sebastian in Berkeley and with Jimmy back in Amagansett for the Wounded War Veterans Brigade at the end of the summer. These were dates I would keep.

Finally, the four of us were alone, all crashed out in their bedroom, still high from the session. There were so many ideas thrown around that Amy had written many of them down on a legal pad; ideas about marketing, ideas about sales, ideas about performing, you name it. I was thinking about making a videos for Amy's song and the other two. These were all ideas we would have to sleep on. Deb, on the other hand, had other ideas.

"I wanna play with Davy's balls!" she declared out of the blue.

"I hope not soccer or kickball!" cried Amy.

"How about ping pong?" asked Mark.

I snorted. "I'll tell you what you can do, Deb, you can apply some lotion to them, okay?"

She reached into her night table and pulled out some Johnson's Baby Oil. Amy was next to her and, looking into the drawer, she said, "Well, what have we here?" She took out several vibrators, a pair of nipple clamps and a medium-sized strap on. Holding the strap-on, she looked at Mark and smiled.

"Mark, I didn't know. May I fuck your man pussy? Or Deb, would you fuck me? Oooh, now there's an idea."

"First things first and let's see where it leads," said Deb. She slid my shorts down and began to softly rub lotion onto my balls. Her small hands caressed and fondled them as the other's watched. She applied some lotion to my pubes and then around the stem, under the balls and around my asshole, lightly pushing her finger around the sphincter. "Maybe I want to fuck Davy."

Amy pulled off her t-shirt and attached the nipple clamps. They had a small interior layer of padding but still she winced once they were attached. She reached into the night table and pulled out a bag. "Here's some of the other things we bought on our shopping spree. Wanna see?" She took out a small vibrating egg, a butterfly vibrator and a tube of heat-sensitive raspberry flavored lotion. She turned to Mark and slid his shorts down. "Heh, heh, heh," she said wickedly. "Look at these hairy balls! I think we should mow this mat. What do you say, Mark?"

"Okay. But, please be gentle with me."

"Oh, but of course, my dear." She sat up and began to kiss him. Deb went into the bathroom and returned with shaving cream, a razor, a scissors and some towels. Mark laid his ass on the towels and spread his legs, knees up, as Amy began to clip the hair on his testicles. I moved closer and reached over to hold his dick back as Deb applied the shaving cream. Together, the girls began to remove the hair. "That tickles," said Mark as I felt his cock grow under my palm. Mark reached over to feel my hairless balls. In a few minutes, they were done and Deb took a warm, damp wash cloth to clean him.

"I love it, " she declared. "They are so nice." The three of us felt and caressed his sac and he sighed in pleasure. While I stroked his dick, the girls licked and kissed his sac, sometimes rolling his balls in their mouth. He was hard in my hand.

Amy and Deb moved to the side to watch me jerk him. Knowing I had an audience, I leaned over and licked his shaft making sure to lave his nuts. I took the fat head and sucked it in causing him to groan. I heard Amy sigh and the sound of buzzing. I looked over to see Amy rubbing the egg over and into Deb's puss as Deb tugged on the nipple clamps. Mark leaned to his side and took me into his mouth. We began to sixty-nine but very slowly and gently.

"Let's watch them, Amy," whispered Deb. "Put on a show for us, boys. I want to see you both swallow cum." The girls sat around us, encouraging us and complimenting our oral techniques. They played with our balls, sometimes licking them and sometimes buzzing vibrators over them. This induced some heavy cock sucking from us and we got into a rhythm. Some noise distracted me for a moment until I saw that Deb was now wearing the strap-on. Positioning herself behind Mark, I watched as she slid the thin rubber cock into Mark's ass and began to fuck him in our rhythm. Amy was licking my nuts and sharing my cock with Mark, her finger was deep inside my hole tickling my prostate. Mark rolled over atop of me to give Deb deeper access. His position allowed me to deep throat his cock and Deb's rhythmic fucking forced him to slide in and out. His cock was thick and it filled my lips. I felt him jerk and was rewarded with a few drops of pre-cum which I rolled around his helmet. My cock responded similarly. Mark was an excellent cocksucker. We were all very much into it and the only sounds were those of pleasure.

"Mark, I'm going to cum," I said, "I can't hold on much longer." This only increased everyone's motion. "Me, too," he mumbled, mouth full of my dick. His sliding on me increased as on an upstroke, he peaked and began shooting globs of semen down my throat. It filled me as I tried to swallow it all but I could not and cum flooded out along my face. Deb slowly withdrew the dildo and leaned over to lick my face and his balls. Amy's finger pressed down on my gland and I began to shoot my spunk. Mark increased his suction on the head and sucked as much out of me as he could until Amy joined him for the remaining drops. She squeezed my dick to get it all and we lay there exhausted and spent.

"That was beautiful," sighed Deb. "...so funckin' hot. I am so wet!"

"Yeah, thanks, Davy. That was great," sighed Mark.

"It was nice," I said, "...and very, very sensual. I feel great right now."

I rolled away and sat up next to him, the two of us bolstered by pillows. Mark lit a bowl and passed it to me. Deb took the damp washcloth and cleaned of the dildo. She took it out of the strap-on and replaced it with a longer, fatter cock. Mark and I sat quietly and smoked as we watched the girls begin to make out. Their relative sizes - Amy taller than Deb - fit into each other as their tongues played and their hands ran along their tits, gently tugging the clamps and pulling at nipples. Deb slowly slid down and began to lick Amy's pussy, lubricating her with lots of dripping saliva. She moved between her legs and holding Amy's lips apart, she slid the strap-on into her. They began a slow fuck dance as Amy sucked in the cock and Deb plunged it in and out to the hilt. Their mouths kissed feverishly. Amy's hands pulled at Deb's butt and they fucked slowly and deliberately. The strap-on brace held clit nubs which forced Deb to plunge into Amy and roll her hips into the nubs. Mark and I watched their show intently as we continued to pass the pipe back and forth getting a wicked high.

Amy started to hump and arch into Deb and they picked up the pace. "Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Right there, Deb...oooh, right there." They were both fucking furiously now and moaning, squealing, grunting and loving it. Amy's knees were spread wide as she took all of it in. One hand was on Deb's butt and the other was between their pussies, pushing the nubs against Deb. "You're making me...cummmmm...ah, ah....yesssssssss." Deb pulled at the clamps which served to drive Amy wild, thrashing against each other. "Oh God...yesssssssss/ ...uh...uh...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy...my cunt... fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk." Deb collapsed upon Amy and, bathed in sweat, they lay together, dildo still deep inside.

Mark and I began to lick and massage our women. We held each other tightly and fell asleep that way. Sometime later, deep in the night, I felt my nuts being licked. I awoke slowly as I felt myself stiffen. When I was sufficiently hard, I opened my eyes to see who it was and watched as Deb, with her nipples clamped, mounted me.

"Shh. Don't move. I want to fuck you...quietly," she whispered. I placed my hands on her small hips and let her ride me with a long slide up and a fast push down. She did this for about ten minutes until I felt her thick syrup flush out of her and onto me. I didn't cum but I stayed hard as she dismounted and sucked on my cock. I softened and fell back to sleep with her nestled under my arm and against my chest.

I awaked in the morning light feeling the bed shaking. I looked over to see Mark and Amy in the couple's position. Amy was feeding her tits to Mark and they slowly fucked. Mark was cumming in her as Amy pulled them closer. When he was done, she pushed him onto his back and positioned her snatch over his mouth. I watched as his milky seed dripped out of her into his mouth and then as she lowered herself on to his tongue. He brought her off quickly and she lay down over him cleaning his cock. They both looked over to me and smiled and I smiled back. We lay quietly for a while. This was indeed a night of gourmet fucking, very warm, very loving, exotic and sensual...not to mention satisfying.

The girls showered off first. Davy asked me if I was prepared to do battle today and I told him that I was as ready as ever.

"I know you are, man, and my spirit is with you today. I love our friendship." He kissed me on my temple and I felt centered and at peace.

I stepped into the shower next as the ladies put up coffee. It was nine o'clock when Danny called to say we were due at the meeting at eleven. He said he would pick me up. An hour and a half later, he and Kathy pulled up and honked. I got into the back seat.

"I like the way you dressed today. It shows them no respect." While Danny was dressed in a tailored business suit, I was in my jeans, t-shirt and faded work shirt. I was glad that Danny noticed my deliberate fashion sense. We pulled off the Ventura Freeway into the Warners/Reprise lot suitably situated near Forest Lawn Cemetery. We punched fists as we got out of the car.

We signed in and were escorted to the meeting room where a team of six suits awaited us. The table had a layout of coffee and croissants which we ignored. Danny and I sat at the head of the table with Kathy at his side. She opened her case and set out an array of folders.

"Danny, it's good to see you again. How's Irene?" asked the head suit. I could feel Danny's eyes roll upside his head. He didn't answer and the silence was deadly. Already, I liked the way this meeting was starting.

"Davy, welcome back to the lot. We've missed you. Hey, those YouTube videos are superb, it's really growing your audience. Our people here did a whole lot of twittering and email blasts to get it to viral. (I like how this prick was taking credit for something of which he had no control. Typical bullshit. Asshole!) We have some big plans and I'd like to outline them for you." Thus began the dog and pony show. As each new plan was offered, a Powerpoint presentation filled the screen behind the Head Suit and a different flunky made the presentation for each bullet point. Personally, I hate PowerPoint. They bore the shit out of me. Needless to say, my mind frequently wandered.

Danny and I said nothing as they continued. Forty-five minutes later, it was over and the Head Suit asked our feelings about the presentation.

Danny took his time considering the question and answered quietly, forcing the suits to lean in to hear his response. "You ask what our feelings are and I can safely say that we have none. To begin with, we do not appreciate you taking any credit for the success of the YouTube videos. My instincts tell me that you probably didn't know about the YouTube videos until they had gone viral. Historically, you guys are the last to know anything." Head Suit started to say something but Danny waved him off. "Our turn, now. You bored the shit out of us for forty-five minutes and now it's our turn to speak. You want to know how we feel about your dog-and-pony show? Frankly, I think this presentation should have been made about forty years ago. But enough of this chazerai, let's talk about the last forty years before we look toward the future. Davy lost his stable and lucrative career because you would not renew his contract but you held him bound to material stipulations that were tantamount to slavery. You've never paid him any of the money you've earned from his assets, even though you released his music in repackages and licensed his music to film and commercials without his approval...and you prevented him from utilizing his earning power. How do you address that?"

Head Suit opened a folder and began to read the terms of the old contract. "We followed the stipulations here and agreed to and signed by Davy and former officers of the corporation. We just followed the contract. We are willing to amend and reward Davy in our new agreement but you must remember that he is still bound by some of the old terms which still exist past the termination of the last contract in 1990. Also, our accounting clearly shows that moneys expended by us were never recouped. We consider that debt still unpaid. But we are willing to overlook these stipulations so as to move forward to develop a new and more lucrative partnership for all parties. Still, you must understand that we are taking a very large risk."

"Lucrative for whom? For which party? Be specific!" asked Danny in a slightly higher volume with a distinct sarcastic overtone. "Your old contract was, in some ways, duplicitous and disingenuous. For example, here on page fourteen, item four, it states that your annual accounting is to be paid for by Davy and added to his debt. Your accounting was, and has never been, accurate or reliable. Playing with creatively invented numbers does not make for credibility. Our accounting, based upon ASCAP and RIAA numbers reveals an entirely different set of facts. Don't play these games with us. Let's get real, if you don't mind."

"Danny, we will be glad to look into these numbers again but you understand that many years have passed and our records do not go that far back any more. How do you suggest we approach this problem?"

"My suggestion is obviously that you toss them out. They were fabricated numbers to begin with. They are worthless, meaningless and fraudulent and you know it. But let's stop with these red herrings and get down to meat and potatoes. We're here to hear your offer so come on, what do you have?"

"Look, while we appreciate Davy's work as well as his back catalog, in all honesty, he is not a commodity in this current culture. How can we value his worth and current potential? I think that our presentation shows that we are willing to take a chance on whatever future he may have. But again, I remind you that we are the ones taking a risk."

Danny thought for a few moments before he began to address them. Now his voice was a little stronger and firmer and the suits seemed to back off into their seats. "So if I understand what you are saying, you're kind of lukewarm about Davy regardless of his recent and I might add, successful productivity and increasing marketability. In that case, it makes this meeting very easy." His volume rose. "I'll make it simple for you. We don't want you to risk anything. We want all of Davy's catalog - the masters, the art, the whole package - and we want it turned over immediately. We want all contracts declared null and all succeeding material stipulations voided. Since we were never part of "the family", we would like to disassociate ourselves from your company and regain all rights and properties for our own discretionary use. That's what we want. Is that clear and simple enough for you to understand?"

"Never going to happen. Get serious," Head Suit snidely deferred.

"Never going to happen, huh? That's your position? Then this meeting is over and we have nothing more to discuss. You will be receiving a letter from our attorney, David Boies, as well as a demand from our accountants, Lewis and Spergal, for a full and complete accounting and disclosure from the day of the signing of the original contract to the present, as well as all of your ASCAP spreadsheets for every year going back to the original date of signing. We'd rather have a court decide our future. Let them decide if your contract caused detriment and damage to Davy. We've heard quite enough. Thank you, gentlemen and good day?"

"Wait a minute, Danny. Can't we discuss this? What kind of money are we talking about here? What kind of money do you believe will make you whole again, Davy? And, if I may be so bold to ask, how can you afford a long drawn out legal battle?" Head Suit was now pushing the envelope and attempting to draw a violent response from me.

Danny jotted down a number and passed it to me. I took a deep breath. I spoke calmly but with an indignant air. "First of all, don't you talk to me in that tone of voice. Who the fuck do you think you are? Don't tell me what I can and cannot afford to do. I was making hits for this company when you were still in diapers. You think I give a shit about your team of salaried in-house hacks, like the ones sitting on your side of the table? Considering all the different ways you have used my catalog over the years without paying me and taking into consideration the damage and pain you brought to me and my career, I'd be happy to settle for $125,000,000.00. Maybe more. I'll have to see what my lawyer, Mr. Boies, has to say on the matter."

Head Suit broke into laughter and his underlings snidely smirked. "That's fucking absurd. We can't even pretend to take that figure seriously. You'll never receive that number, from us or from a court and you know it. Stop dreaming."

"Stop dreaming?" exploded Danny suddenly seeming enraged, "Who the fuck do you think you are, you pedant? Here, read these letters and then we'll tell you who the fuck we think we are!"

Kathy handed the letters to Danny who shoved them over to Head Suit. They were the letters from Rangel and Schumer. Head Suit read them and smirked and passed them to the suit on his right, who read and dismissed them, pushing them away.

"Meaningless," uttered Head Suit, "Boilerplate bullshit."

Danny pulled out his cellphone and dialed Senator Rangel. "Yes, hello, is the Senator in? He's expecting my call."

"Danny, how are you? What's up? How's everything going? How's my friend, Davy?" Danny had him on speakerphone so the suits could listen in. He informed the Senator that he was on speakerphone and filled the Senator in on the lack of realistic negotiations. The Senator listened and said, "All right then, let me go forward with scheduling a public hearing on the matter. I'll see if I can get it for, say six weeks from now. Let me call Charley Schumer to fill him in. Have David call me and ask him to please send over all pertinent documents. Don't worry, Danny, it's about time we stepped in and put an end to this type of artistic contractual servitude. They appear to be blatantly thumbing their nose at the First Amendment. Give me a call later, will you, and say hello to Kathy for me." His last comment seemed to make Head Suit cringe.

Danny looked hard at Head Suit and angrily but in a quiet, sizzling tone said "Now I'll tell you who the fuck we think we are! Don't take us for assholes. It's forty years later and we're not some star-struck kid believing your lies and bullshit. We are an injured party demanding restoration, that's who the fuck we are. So shove your crap where the sun don't shine and start reconsidering your position, which at the moment is tenuous at best."

The suits huddled up and discussed this development. Notes passed back and forth. Finally, Head Suit, looked narrowly at Danny and said, "We appreciate the force of your demands and we are not unwilling to seek a negotiated compromise. Perhaps as a sign of good faith, we might be willing to offer Davy a check to cover any past compensation. Not that we admit any wrongdoing, but merely as a way to be civil about this." The suits huddled again.

Danny scribbled a note to me. It read "Watch this. $2 mil offer. Now it's your turn to give it to them, Hamlet."

The Head Suit looked at us and with an evil smile, said, "As an offer of good faith and as away to continue negotiations without getting into all the extra nonsense, we are willing to write you a check, call it a no-strings signing bonus if you will, of $2,000,000.00."

I jumped up from my seat and yelled loud enough for the residents of Forest Lawn to hear, "$2,000,000! You miserable prick! You're fucking kidding me! You sit there and insult me like that? Take your check and shove it up your ass. I'd rather see you in court as well as in the headlines. And speaking of the court of public opinion, how do you think you're going to fare when your boy Avinet is all over the headlines. Right now, he's singing like an angelic choir to the FBI. You fuckers think you could pay some bum to spy on me and then try to extort me! Fuck you! Avinet is naming names both past and present about who you fucked, how he was paid and who paid him. You think I want to negotiate with you scumbags? I'll see you in jail first. Fuck that, I'll see you in Hell!" I pushed my chair away and started to leave when Danny grabbed my arm.

The suit looked shocked as the color drained from his face. "I...uh...I haven't heard about this. What are you talking about? Who is this Avinet?"

Danny stood up. Now he was in the driver's seat and he spoke with an air of condescension. "Relax, Davy, Relax. Settle down. Down get excited. You shouldn't have told them that but as long as you did, the cat's out of the bag and so we're not dancing anymore. You know very well who Tom Avinet is so don't bullshit a bullshitter. Shall I call FBI Director Mueller to fill you in? Perhaps it will jog your memory." He pulled out his cellphone again. "I have him on speed dial."

"No, no. Not necessary." Head Suit was now deflating rapidly. The Flunky Suits were hastily scribbling notes and passing them to him.

"Good. I don't think we can make our position clearer than that. Good day. We'll see you in court." Kathy collected the files as we walked out of the conference room and headed toward the elevator. Heads were staring at us. As we strolled down the hall, Danny whispered, "Say nothing in the elevator. Don't say a word until we leave the lot." He hit the call button and began to count. "1...2...3...4...5..." At 30, the elevator doors opened and we stepped inside. A hand reached in and held the door.

"Wait a minute." It was Head Suit. "We have decided to agree to release you from any contractual obligations or debts we claim again you, Davy. We will return to you all masters and all that goes with them including artwork, publishing rights, etc. We will negotiate a financial settlement to settle your displeasure. If you do not want to be on the label, we will not force the issue. We deny any culpability or responsibility to any acts by any former employees or any outside or third parties. Likewise, we deny any purposeful mismanagement or falsification of records. We offer you this check as a token against any settlement of claims and as a sign of good faith on our part to relieve ourselves of any obligations, past or future, in lieu of an agreement not to litigate."

Danny took the check and studied it. He handed it back and said, "We want that statement in writing and we want the check certified before we accept it."

Head Suit looked scornfully. It looked as though he wanted to say something but then stopped and asked us to follow him. We reentered the now deserted conference room as Head Suit gave his secretary instructions. Danny turned to us and sotto voce said that the check was for $12,500,000.00 and, as he estimated and as they most probably knew, was approximately one-eighth of what they owed me. He said that the final settlement would probably be about $65,000,000.00 give or take a few.

Head Suit returned with the statement. Danny busted his balls by having some of the framing language changed and retyped. Head Suit returned again a few minutes later. Danny read the statement and angrily crossed out several words and wrote some comments in the margin. Chagrined, Head Suit returned with the amended statement. When Danny was suitably satisfied, we all signed it. Only then did Danny accept the check. Head Suit looked at us and said, "I trust we can keep this private and out of the news until the negotiations are complete. It is not necessary that allegations be aired in public. Let's be big about this and act like adults, shall we?" We nodded to him. Danny added, "Oh, by the way, watch Davy on Ferguson's show tonight." Dig, dig.

We walked back to the elevator. Danny reminded us of his order of silence by placing his finger against his lips. I felt light headed and thought I was hyperventilating. We left the building and walked to the car. Danny opened the trunk and, from his valise, he took out a portable surveillance sensor. He walked around the car and got no readings. He then unlocked the car and waved the sensor around. It beeped near a point in the middle of the dashboard. He reached up and took out a small magnetic-backed microphone. He wrapped it in his handkerchief and satisfied that there were no others waved us into the car. He turned on the radio and held the mic up to the speakers. He told Kathy to snap a picture of it and to be ready to snap pictures of the guard. He asked her for a piece of stationary and an envelope. He wrote, "I believe this belongs to you. I found it under the dashboard in my car. It was not here before we drove onto the Warner's lot. We have photographed it's discovery. Furthermore, I have a logged and dated security surveillance video of the persons who installed it. You never learn and this will cost you dearly." He signed the letter, folded it and inserted it into the envelope. He dropped the mic in and sealed the envelope. He wrote Head Suit's name on the front. We drove up to the gate and Danny hailed the guard from his booth.

"How can I help you, Sir?"

"Here. I believe this is the property of Warner's. Please forward it to the addressed party." He handed the envelope to the guard as Kathy snapped away. We drove off and Danny pulled the car over about a block away. He turned and looked at us. He face broadened into a huge smile.

"Did I write the fucking script or what! OR WHAT!" We began to roar and scream. Quiet little Kathy had tears rolling down her cheeks from laughter and relief. "What a bunch of assholes! That last bit just covered my fee! Hahahahahaha!" He drove up onto the Freeway and other drivers must have thought we were nuts the way we were carrying on.

"I trust you'll keep this out of the news!...act like adults!...FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!...fucking surveillance mics! You think they would learn! Wait a minute..." He dialed a number on his phone. "Hello, Charley? Yeah...yeah...run with it...yeah...from unnamed sources within the Warner's Building. Yeah...don't mention it. More to come, I promise. You're the first guy. Yeah, I promise." He hung up. "It's done. That was TMZ. Fuck them! FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!" He waved his middle finger at the Warner's lot.

It was all sinking in. "Danny, I'm free. I'm really free. You did it!"

"You deserve it. After all the shit they put you through, after all the years we fought with them...they fucked up big time and now they're gonna pay...And this is just the beginning of the end for them...fucking bastards. Oh, they're gonna pay...and pay...and pay!"

"I just can't say...I'm dumbfounded..I..." I rode the rest of the way in silence. Shock had set in. I'm Free! I'm Free. And freedom tastes of reality. Truer words were never written.

As we drove up, Amy, Mark and Deb ran out of the house. "Well? What happened?" Danny and Kathy jumped out of the car and started to Lindy. They were so giddy they had trouble getting any words out. I got out and just nodded yes and they all began to scream. Mark ran back in and came out with champagne and glasses. He popped the cork and sent the champagne shooting into the air.

"It was just like Danny said. It was line for line. It was fucking amazing." I started to giggle. "They never knew what hit them! They probably still don't know!"

"Tell us everything! We've been dying to know for hours!"

We walked back in and the three us filled them in, ending each other's sentences and adding elements to the narrative. "It's over. We won. It's all new again. I feel like a little kid." Mark was laughing through the entire narrative. He fully understood the ramifications.

"We have to celebrate!"

"Celebrate? When have we not celebrated? That's all we seem to do!"

Amy jumped my bones on the couch and gave me ten thousand kisses. She whispered into my ear, "How much?" I whispered back, "We have a check for twelve point five and Danny says we'll probably end up with about $65 mil plus all the masters. Plus everything!" She screamed and nearly broke my eardrum. She grabbed the bottle and started chugging the bubbly as it foamed out of her mouth. "Damn! What balls you have! I love your balls! Whoopee!"

Mark asked what she was going crazy about and she screamed, "Twelve point five fucking million dollars in his pocket and more to come...Sixty-five million dollars plus everything...and complete freedom!"

"Tax-free and it's all yours. My fee is covered by the surveillance mic...and we're going to make a bundle!" laughed Danny as he kissed Kathy. "This goes in the anti-Irene fund!...Oh, Jesus, I better call the office and Charlie Rangel! We're going to have to pay him off, too, but his debt with me is now settled." Danny and Kathy went off to make the calls but before he reached for the phone, he ran out onto the deck, threw off his jacket and jumped into the pool screaming like a banshee. Kathy was standing at the side laughing at him and he jumped out, chased her down, threw her into the pool and jumped in again. We all stood around laughing. Even Santo, Marion and Orson sensed our elation and they jumped around and barked, too. Not long after, after much celebration, Danny and Kathy headed back to their hotel.

"I am suddenly so exhausted. It's like a huge weight is lifted. I'm so blown away. After all these years, I BEAT THOSE FUCKERS! Revenge is sooo sweet!"

"And, you will be very happy to know that we went down to check the bus and everything is on schedule and perfect. Wait until you see what Elon has done! It will blow your mind. He's going to call us tomorrow to drop it off and then, guess what, baby...it's you me and Santo...on the road again!"

"She's not kidding," added Mark. "You think that bus was cool before? What until you check out the guitar and mic inputs...and mixer!...plugged into the outside storage bin."

"Don't tell him anymore, Mark," Amy admonished, "you'll ruin the surprises!"

I could hardly respond. I was crumpling into the couch. Shock and comprehension had exhausted me. Forty years worth. Within minutes I was asleep and, as I found out later, snoring. They woke me a couple of hours later and it took a lot of shaking. I was really out cold.

"Come on, sleepyhead. We're going out to eat. Your choice."

"My choice, huh? Okay, pizza or In 'N Out or Chinese."

"Boo. No way, Jose."

"Hmm. All right then, what's close, nearby and easy?"

"How about Louise's Trattoria on Pico, that's real good Italian," suggested Deb.

"Okay by me."

Her question was a ruse as Mark had already made reservations and set the DVR to record Craig's show. He was on the phone for a while. While we were getting dressed, Danny and Kathy pulled up. They were still bonkers. We all met in the kitchen and the atmosphere was electric. We lit a couple of joints (Mark's Special Blend) and were soon bopping around. I tossed Mark the keys to the Bentley and we took off for West Hollywood.

As we entered Louise's, we were greeted by applause and cheers. I was set up! the Begleys were there, as were the Hillmans, the Gadds, The Parks, Linda and Lloyd, the Buffetts and Sebastian, who brought along his friend, Bob Dylan, who immediately ran to Danny and hugged him. They were already drinking wine and a round of "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" went up. I shook my head in amazement. Mark apologized for not having enough notice to fill the place and was certain he'd take some heat tomorrow but he mentioned me that Flaco was still ill, Cooder was out of town and Porter had flown back to New Orleans. Still, we filled up at least half the room. Mark had told them to just serve us and so plates began to arrive from the kitchen. It was an eclectic mix of people and food: pastas and meats and salads and fish and even some cajun dishes. And what food! It was about as delicious as it gets. Halfway through the meal The Fergusons showed up, too, and joined in the festivities. Elon arrived a few minutes later. Steve Martin called to congratulate me. Everybody wanted to hear the story of the meeting at Warner's over and over again. The musicians were particularly thrilled and Dylan commented on how when he had his battle with Columbia, it went exactly as Danny said it would. Someone, I can't remember who, passed their iPhone around with the TMZ story. It was truly dizzying. The question I was asked the most was "What are you going to do now?" and my response was that I wasn't sure except that Amy and I were going to travel around the country, write more tunes and just be happy.

Jimmy and Bob huddled with Danny for a few minutes until Danny waved me over. "These jamokes say you should get your web site started immediately. I have a few names of the best web designers and I can get that going. Maybe you should write a blog or start tweeting, too."

"Seriously, Davy, you've got to recut your old stuff and put it all out again...like Prine and Newman did," Jimmy suggested. "It asserts your rights again for another seventy years."

"I know. I've been thinking about that for a few months now and I really didn't know how to approach it. But now, I have an idea working. What if I recut my old tunes with my friends. For example, I'm thinking "Sally Take A Ride" with a choice band, you see what I'm saying? I can cut tracks as we move around the country. I mean, shit, I already have three in the can."

Dylan said that Van Dyke had played the cuts for him and they sounded great. He called them 'very authentic.'

"I love it."

"Yeah, great idea. You sell it through the web site and through iTunes...and fucking keep all the do-re-mi, you dig?"

Just then a patron interrupted us and asked if we would sign her menu. Her tits were popping out of her dress and far be it from us to refuse. She then moved around the table collecting autographs. The other patrons picked up the idea, as did all our friends and soon we were all signing menus. The hostess even tacked one to the wall. I whispered to the hostess that I would pick up the tab for everyone in the place. She informed me that it was already covered, even including all the other diners. Soon strangers were friends and it was a big, loud, wild blast.

It was getting on and deep into the evening when the bartender turned on Craig's show. "Hey, I look pretty damn good, you know. Nice fucking suit!" yelled Craig.

I sat down between Amy and Deb to drink some more wine and munch on some Fusilli and Sweet Sausage. While attention was turned toward the TV, they took my hands and surreptitiously ran them up their skirts. They were wearing their crotchless panties. I made a big show of licking my fingers.

Everything got real quiet when the band came on. We sounded excellent and a big roar went up when it ended. Mark gave me the high-sign. I stood with the rest of the guys as pictures were snapped. Then we watched the interview part and that too was fine although the John Lennon pun got booed again. I just shrugged and said, "You throw it up against the wall and..." Craig is a very witty and smart guy and the segment was funny, especially when he pulled out the puppets.

My phone vibrated. It was George congratulating me on the show. He was effusive in his praise for both the music and the sit-down. He also heard about the TMZ report and congratulated me on that. I invited him to come by Mark's place tomorrow when the bus was delivered around noon as I remembered that he wanted a tour. He said that he would be there.

The party ran for another hour when people began to leave. To each friend, I made sure I had their contact info and assured them that not only would we be in touch but that we'd be recording again real soon.

Ed pulled me aside and asked if I would join him at a green symposium in Berkeley next week. "I'd love to show off the bus."

"Email me the details, Ed, and we will be there."

As Zimmy was leaving, he pulled me aside and slipped me his contacts. "Y'know, I heard what you recorded yesterday and it knocked me out. How's about you and me hook up and write some stuff together...waddya say?"

"Gee, I don't know, Bob. You good with lyrics?"

"Some people think so, you shmuck. Call me. Maybe we can hook up in Aspen. I got a place not too far from there."

"You know, Bob. I know a secret spot where we can be alone. I'll email you my progress on the road. We should be there in a few weeks."

"Good. Me, too. We'll talk. We can do anything we want to now, can't we? It's a liberating feeling, isn't it? You drive carefully now and have a good trip." He slipped into the night and was gone like a cool breeze.

We left a little while later and I kissed and hugged so many people, my face was sore. Amy and Deb held their autographed menus. On the ride back, I asked Danny when he was heading back to New York.

"We have a flight back on Sunday. But don't worry, I made a copy of the check and already deposited it." He jabbed me in the ribs. "I also called Charlie and that was easy. It won't even cost much - just a few month's nut on his place in the Dominican Republic. We got off cheap."

"Cool. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, I'm playing golf at The Riviera Club with some old friends."

"Uh-oh, it could be an expensive round!"

"For them, maybe. Not for me. I'm playing great these days. And tomorrow night, I'm having dinner with Geffen and Simel. That could be very interesting."

"Oh, to be a fly on the wall. Give David my regards."

I told everyone about my conversation with His Bobness and that news brought gasps. Mark suggested that this was bigger than the big time. Danny thought it would make my career explode. Amy was just silent and I asked her why. She said she was simply in awe and I understood because that is just how I felt. I also suggested to her that we create a calendar to keep track of appearances and all the rest of our obligations as things seemed to be getting out of hand. We pulled up in front of the house and Mark tossed the keys back to me. I kissed and hugged Danny like it was the last time I would see him and they drove off back to their hotel. "Keep in touch!"

In the house, Mark checked the DVR and the show had recorded fine. He said he'd burn a DVD for me in the morning. We were all very exhausted and went off to bed. Amy and I snuggled and talked about the details of the day. Neither of us knew how we would ever fall asleep that night since there were so many bees flying inside our heads.

"Davy, will you promise me something?"

"Amy, I will promise you anything...and I will deliver. What is it?"

"Promise me that you won't leave me in the dust? Promise me that we will see this through together. Can you do that?"

"Amy, my darling...lover...partner...do not fear. Don't you realize that all the success of the past few days, hell, of the past month, is all because you are in my life? If the creator had a master plan, it is that you and I should be together. I've waited all my life to be in this bed with you right now. I will never, ever be anywhere else. I need you Amy. I need you to breathe. I am just a shadow without you and I love you more than my music, my success, my life. I can never leave you in the dust until I am dust myself. Tomorrow, we begin a new chapter and as new chapters go, I have never welcomed them as much as I welcome this. Everyday I am with you is the best day of my life. So, I say to you, Amy Bieler, you better not go running off with George Clooney!"

"I love you, you silly man. You make me whole. Hold me tighter." We did fall asleep but it was not an easy sleep. Throughout the night, one of us would awaken for one reason or another - a dream, a trip to the bathroom, a jerky movement, whatever. Each time, we would return to each other's arms and fall back to sleep, secure and restful, at least until the next awakening. When the morning came, we did not rise with the sun but lay sleeping entwined. It was Mark and Deb who finally woke us. They crept into our room with a tray of coffee and croissants. Crawling into bed with us, they snuggled up with us and held us, gently caressing us. We both awoke feeling their bodies against us.

"We know that you have to leave today but we will miss you and we both wish you could stay," Deb's soft voice murmured. "We both want you to know how much you mean to us and how much we love you."

Mark continued, "I haven't spoken about this before but it's something you should know, Davy. In the past year, I started to become bored with my music and with the music business. For a while there I had run out of ideas and I just going through the motions, something I had never done in my career. I've been thinking about retiring. We considered taking a trip around the world just to renew our lives and our spirits. That's one of the reasons we often go to the spa. But then, at the spa, when we played together, something unexpected happened to me. Maybe it was the ease with which we blended, I don't know but I felt the joy of the music again. You made me remember all that I loved about this gift and you inspired me to hear the beauty again. This was the second time that this happened to me. Way back when, when you had your first go 'round, I used to play my violin along to your records, it was part of my practice regimen - I'd riff all over your songs. I realized at the spa that night that it was happening to me all over again and that you were my catalyst. What do you say to a 'Harper-O'Flannery' band?"

"I'm in. Where do I sign. Mark?"

We all made mad love that morning. Amy asked that we be gentle with her breasts because they hurt from using the nipple clamps and although they were stimulating at the time, she doubted whether she would ever use nipple clamps again. So our lovemaking was extra gentle, slow and sensuous, deeply erotic and deeply meaningful as well. As I came in Deb's juicy warmth, I held Amy's hand. We were like a collective, melding our spirits into one goal, a goal of shared love. We felt each other's essence flow through each other and any fears or apprehensions we might have felt through the night dissipated in a flood of mutual bliss. This is sort of how Mark and I played music together, if that can be equated. As we lay reveling, a thought ran through me.

"Lillian should see us now. She would be so proud." The thought was met by approval.

"Next week in San Francisco, I want to do this again," said Amy. "I love my Davy like I've never loved anyone before. This is different. But I love you two guys. It's different and it's mind-blowing. It's comforting. It all works - like when we play music. I'm so glad you are all in my life." She seems to read my thoughts.

We made love again and this time it was just as sweet. We had tumbled into a mass of arms, legs, tongues and minds. Feeling hands caress my body transcended any sort of group experience I'd ever known. It mattered not which orifice accepted my orgasm, it was all good and it was right. We were a force of love - a band, if you will.

Amy and I never really unpacked so it was easy to set up our stuff outside. Elon and Ed arrived at noon and they couldn't wait to take us on a tour of our refurbished traveling home. George pulled up right behind them saying that he saw Big Chocolate and merely followed behind.

First, we walked around the outside. "We've increased your range by nearly two hundred miles. You can now travel about four hundred miles, maybe four hundred and fifty miles before you refuel - maybe even more. Also, your efficient cruising speed is now about sixty-five miles an hour. We improved the solar units as well as the size of your converter. The tanks are larger, too. I added a sundeck on the roof that won't hinder the work of the solar panels. You know the solar panels will also heat the floor of the interior if the outside temperature drops before 40 degrees. I also replaced the generator with a new, more efficient and greener unit. If you are on generator power, you're good for about twelve hours before you need to refuel it with tri-fuel. Anyway, the upper deck is large enough four two people to stretch out or to even set up a telescope, which is stored below, or even dine out. All the amenities are in the storage bins. There is also an automated bimini as well as several outlets on the roof. There is even a pass through if you want to get stuff there from the inside. I added a Fender amp that stores sideways and drops down. There is a four input mixer above it and a pair of Shure mics and mic stands stowed alongside - that's if you want to do any entertaining. The whole package is stored in this bin by the new longer awning, which now includes a drop down screened tent. There is also an inflatable hot tub stored in an aft bin. Also, and you'll like this, we added extra length to the flat-floor slide outs so the interior is much roomier and the outside footprint is now five feet wider. We've tweaked up all the digital modules and upgraded the displays so you have even more information at hand from the cockpit. Ed has altered the compactor and the composter, too. The composter now recycles in half the time and it can be emptied alongside the road to improve the soil nutrients. Let's go inside now."

"Wait a minute, Elon," said Ed, "We added an area to one lower bin and gave you a trap door by the appliance room. The bin is filled with all sorts of green cleaning products including a big supply of 'Ed's Best!'"

"Yes, Ed, and thank you for getting in that plug. This commercial has been brought to you by Ed Begley, Jr." He ushered us in and the first thing I noticed was that the steps dropped down lower than before. Inside, the bus looked much different. The colors were more subdued and earthy with woody tones and deep green carpeting. It looked almost as though we were outside and it was beautiful and lush. The couches were softer and more plush. Built into the walls were collapsible screens which could be used to separate areas for privacy or to hide the galley. With the slideouts, it made the bus seem more expansive. Elon pressed a button and one couch folded out into a queen-sized bed. He pressed another button and a 60" screen slid up opposite the bed. Under it was a digital entertainment center. He pressed another button and the slide-outs made the area dramatically more expansive.

"There's another system like this in the Master suite, but we'll get to that. Check this out." He pressed another button and a screen slid out and closed off the cockpit area making this a separate room. "Neat, huh?" He pressed a button and the couch folded back up. Turning to the entertainment center, he pressed another button and a desktop slid out. "There are lots of inputs. You can easily plug your computer into the HD screen from any connection. Oh and this is neat!" He sat down on the recliner and flipped a panel up along the arm to create a tiltable desktop. "Outlets are all in the arm which pops open. See?" I let out an amazed snicker. "Ok, now to the galley. We've improved the appliances with the latest models which offer more cooking and refrigerating power with less wasted energy...all Ed's good ideas. We've also added eight inches of counter space. Under the sink are water taps and a central vac outlet. Let's keep going." He closed the curved sliding door around the galley and opened the doors opposite the head exposing the new washer and dryer. "I added more storage space here for your cleaning supplies and over here is the lower bin pass-through. The washing machine can be used for steam-cleaning as well as water." He closed it and turned around to open the head. Wow! It appeared much more spacious. "We've added full length mirrors as per Amy's instructions. And here is the new enviro-bath/shower. You can set it to different types of sensations from a steam room to a sauna to a warm rain, It's big enough for two and it has a fold-up bench. There are six shower heads and it uses the same amount of water as the old one that was in here. If you seal the bottom of the door with this latch, it becomes a jacuzzi bath. The toilet is a modification of the latest marine heads with a powerful auto-flush that uses less water through dual pumps, a macerator and a grinding scavenger pump that, like the kitchen drain, feeds the composter. Because this toilet has a smaller stem footprint, we were able to expand the storage areas by six inches. Nice, right?" He steered us to the bedroom. Pressing buttons, the slideouts opened the room into a large living suite. There was even a walk in closet. "This is a new bed. Like the other, it tilts but it has a modified Dux mattress and it is a foot wider and a foot longer. There is more bedside lighting as well as LED mood lighting. There are more outlets including a central vac outlet in front and on the forward side of the bed. We also added this slide out storage bin under the bed. There is also a lower bin pass-through located near the bathroom door." He slid the wall back to reveal a new entrance into the bathroom making the bedroom seem even larger and more like a true suite.

"I haven't forgotten Santo. Over here, by the rear side of the appliance area, you press this button and a self-contained feeder and water bowl slides out at floor level. You'll notice that none of this area is carpeted but slightly sunken and tiled. Instead, we installed a self-cleaning mechanism that sprays the area and drains into the bathroom's forward well. It's a nice touch I think and an idea I came up with when I considered how I would travel with my own dog." He steered us toward the cockpit and opened the forward wall. "I couldn't do much to improve the seats as they were state-of-the-art to begin with but we did improve the control layout, the side and rear cameras and the displays which are controlled by the GPS domes on the roof. Like a nautical system, it progresses along the screen as you progress along the road giving you a 3D terrain layout with complete road information, times, speed and fuel consumption. At night, it projects this information onto the base of the windshield. We also added a night-vision cameras on each side, front and back - you can flip from one to the other on the fly or you can blend them together but it will cut visibility at night. And, as per Amy's instructions, more cup and food holders. Also, and this was a great idea, Amy, there is an automatic slideout that covers the steps so it's more comfortable to sit, stretch and move about. All of the outlets are now both PC and Mac compatible. And finally, the entertainment system slides forward for less range of movement while you're behind the wheel. Have I forgotten anything, Ed?"

"Yes, Elon, show Davy the wheel."

"Oh, right. We replaced your steering wheel to be more comfortable and ergonomic. There are controls built into the sides of the hub for cruse control, music control, air controls and camera controls. And I think that's it. These modifications add nearly $850,000.00 to the base price. Now I know we spoke about a trade-off with the Vanity Fair piece and I'm still willing to do that but I must request that I be there to show Vanity Fair around the bus. Also, I had some out-of-pocket expenses that Danny already took care of. You have a full tank of fuel and a stocked refrigerator and freezer so you're all set to go. Ed, have I forgotten anything?"

"The security system..."

"Oh, that's right...another good Begley suggestion. In order to avoid what went down at the RV park in Malibu, we installed a new surveillance system. You have new external sensors that detect the presence of someone coming close to the bus. An alert will sound in the cockpit and the cameras will go on showing you the intruder. At night, external lights will go in, too. Instead of the doorbell, there's now a two-way speaker and camera so you can see and speak to whoever is knocking on the door without opening it. Also, if anyone attaches any signal emitting equipment, an alert will sound in the cockpit and a light will flash showing you the location of the emitter. We changed the front and rear headlights to more powerful LEDs and added mood LEDs under the awning and under the bimini. I think that's all of it."

"That's quite a lot! Elon, it's better than I ever thought. You've done a fantastic job. You, too, Ed. I love it. I feel like I'm on a spectacular luxury yacht." Amy was effusive and literally bubbling over.

"Thank you, Amy. Can you do me a favor? Actually two things. First, please maintain a log so we can monitor your real-life experiences with the bus, it will help us to tweak the bus further. And second, when you're up in the San Francisco area, call me and let's meet at our Menlo Park facility. I want to download the module readings. Oh and by the way, by connecting your computer or iPhone into this jack, you can transmit all module readings directly to Menlo Park."

"Golly gosh and gee...I'm astounded. I can't wait to drive it," I said.

"Oh, you've love it, Davy. We've tightened the turning ratio and increased the power-assist to the wheel. It's a breeze to drive. Now, if you'll give Ed the keys to your rental, we'll return it for you and be on our way. Ed and I are busy making plans to adapt these concepts to other vehicles and even for marine use. This guy has a new and better idea by the minute."

"Elon, would you do me a favor? Will you call Danny and ask him how we can become larger investors in Tesla? I'm already a stockholder but I'd like to be a bigger prescence. It's something I want to do. You too, Ed. If I can help you guys make the future better, I will."

"It is an honor working with you. We'll see you next week. This bus will be the centerpiece of the symposium." We shook hands. I checked the Bentley to make sure that we'd left nothing inside and sent them on their way babbling profuse thanks.

George was simply flabbergasted. "That is the coolest shit I've ever seen. What a gas...er, make that diesel! You guys are going to have some kind of fun on the road. I envy you, honestly. Maybe some time you'll lend it out to me...this is like a dream I've always had." He wished us bon voyage. I told him to make some time in about two weeks so he could meet us and join us for a few days in the parks. He quickly agreed and said he would be in touch. We waved as he pulled away.

As we walked around the bus, the four of us seemed overwhelmed and excited. "Hey, I just had a great idea," said Amy, "How about this? After your gig next week, why don't you guys join us on the road to Napa, Yosemite and Yellowstone, or even to Aspen...as far as you want to go, you're welcome to join us."

"Where will George sleep?" I asked. Amy and Deb gave each other snarky looks. "Hmm, I guess we'll have to figure that out."

"That's a great idea, Amy," said Mark, "it opens all sorts of possibilities. I have a gig in New Orleans with an orchestra but that's not until the end of the month. I can fly down. What do you say, Deb?"

"What do I say? Are you kidding? I'm already calling the kennel!"

"Good," I said, "that's settled!" Amy and I began to pack up the bus while Deb prepared a little lunch for us. Mark handed me several large manila envelopes with my studio masters, a few more dupes (and he made some nice labels for the cds, too) and a DVD of Craig's show. I put the masters into the small safe located in the bedroom closet.

We sat around the table and tossed ideas and plans. Deb took her phone and made a call. "Let me put you on speaker...hold on" She'd called Callie. Fortunately Lillian was right there next to her. We all talked over each other and laughed a lot. Amy told them how happy we all were and how much we loved them. I told them how much we progressed since our visit to the spa and that we would make it an annual visit. Mark thanked them for their cosmic intercession in our lives and Lillian told us that she knew how we were faring because our vibrations and energy were with her all the time.

I pulled out my phone to make one last call and Amy noted that I could use a new phone - an iPhone - and that seemed like a very, very good idea. I dialed the number. "Hello, Shadow? Shadow, this is Davy Harper. Yes, the same Davy Harper. Listen, Shadow, you live near Santa Barbara, right? My partner, Amy, and I will be up that way in a couple of hours in our Magic Bus. Do you have some time to meet? Excellent. I will call you when we get close. See you then."

"Is that the same Shadow I think it is?" asked Mark.

"Yup, my old buddy, Shadow Morton. I have an idea in my head."

"I hear it and I like it a lot."

We hugged, kissed, squeezed each other. There was much crying between the women. Santo hopped right into the bus informing us that it was time to go and we were on the road again. As we rolled down I-Ten heading toward the Pacific Coast Highway, I began to sing an Arlo Guthrie tune.

"Running down the road, Make my get away, Everything I told you was just yesterday Yes, You know I'm off again, Oh, and I've been told You were there beside me, Running down the road"

Thanks for your nice comments and encouragement to keep the story going. Please vote on how you like it. Any names and persons used in this story are purely coincidental, fictional, nonexistent and utterly intentional. Send your comments to oldhippie1949@gmail.com. Thank you. All lyrics copywritten and used as a tribute: "We Love L.A.". Randy Newman. "Running Down The Road", Arlo Guthrie. copyright2017 The Ol' Hippie