David's Initiation

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. The story contains graphic descriptions of sex between men. Anyone who is forbidden by law to read such material must stop now. This story is being posted to the Nifty Archive solely for the enjoyment of its readers.

David's Initiation: The Recovery 01

Arthur stood beside the bed looking down at the pathetic situation that lay before him. Dave sobbed continuously and muttered "No," from time to time. Arthur walked over and sat down on the desk chair to continue his vigil; he wasn't going to leave the room as long as Dave was awake, or at least, not asleep. Eventually Dave stopped sobbing and Arthur was sure he was asleep so he quietly left the room.

Arthur took off his suit coat and draped it over the back of one of the dining chairs. As he was doing so he heard the sound of a key sliding into the lock of the front door even though it wasn't locked. Turning his head he saw an attractive Hispanic looking young man entering the house as though he belonged there. Arthur quickly deduced the young man would not have a key and would not be letting himself in if he didn't live there.

"Who are you?" Mike demanded. Looking around the room, he didn't see Dave. "And where's Dave?" he added to his demand. Mike was on alert, ready for anything. Getting home and finding a strange, good looking man wearing an expensive suit and tie standing in the living room was more than just a little out of the normal.

Arthur began walking toward Mike and extended his hand. "I'm Art Radford. And you are?"

"Mike Sanchez..." Mike debated whether he should shake the man's hand, he finally did, "and where's Dave?" Mike demanded again.

Art placed the index finger of his right hand over his pursed lips indicating Mike should be quiet. "Dave's asleep and..."

"Is he okay, he never goes to bed this early!" Mike said with greater concern, he knew it was only 10:15 PM, his normal time to get home from work and Dave usually studied until at least 11:00. Mike walked over to Dave's bedroom and looked in and saw Dave lying curled up in the fetal position. Satisfied that Arthur was telling the truth, he turned and walked back to the living room. "And what are you doing here?"

"I'm an attorney and Dave's my client. Now, before I can answer any other questions I need to know exactly what your relationship is with Dave." Art was very direct and forceful which intimidated Mike somewhat. Never the less, Mike was determined to stand his ground but Art's use of the word `relationship' triggered an unintended response.

"Look, Dave and I aren't having sex, if that's what you want to know!" Mike assumed that's what Art meant by the word `relationship'. "Dave's committed to a guy named Paul and he won't even look at another guy." At that moment Mike realized that in his zeal to defend his friend he had just told more than he had ever intended and wished he could take it back. However, those comments contained a wealth of information that would help Art in his evaluation of this situation.

Art got a puzzled look on his face and scratched his head for a moment while he considered the best way to settle Mike down and get control of the conversation. "Well, Mike, that's not exactly what I meant when I asked about your relationship. What I really want to know is you are just rooming here or are you a friend of Dave's? I gather by the way you're protecting him, you must be a close friend. Am I correct?"

"Yeah, we were roommates in the Army for almost two years. But you still haven't told me why you are here."

"Could I trouble you for something to drink, please, water, a Coke or whatever?" Art's throat was beginning to get dry. "Then let's sit down, Mike, and I'll give tell you as much as I can."

"Sure, have a seat and I'll bring us both something." Mike said, beginning to soften his tone and act more like a host. "I'll be right back."

Art sat down on the sofa next to his briefcase and waited for Mike to return with drinks. As Mike went about getting a couple of glasses and filling them with Coke, he thought about the conversation he had just had and he didn't like the feeling it gave him. He also began to accept the fact that Art didn't seem to pose any threat and he'd better lighten up and listen.

"Is Dave okay... really?" Mike asked again as he sat the Cokes on the coffee table between the sofa and the easy chair.

"I think so, Mike, he's just experienced a serious trauma." Art took a drink, "Thanks. You already know that Dave was in a relationship and that makes it easier to explain. Well, not easier, but I think you'll understand. The reason I'm here..." Art paused, took another drink then started over. "It has been my unpleasant duty to inform Dave that his... his best friend... his partner, Paul Roehl..." Art took a deep breath, "...died in an automobile accident two weeks ago." Art lowered his head hoping Mike wouldn't see the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Paul Roehl? You mean Captain Roehl?" Mike was sitting on the edge of the chair.

"Yes," Art replied without looking up. He reached for the Coke and took another drink. "Did you know him?"

"Oh, man, you gotta be shittin' me! I just saw him a little over two weeks ago and you're telling me he's dead?" Mike collapsed back into the overstuffed easy chair. "I can't fuckin' believe it! You're tellin' me Capt. Roehl was Dave's partner, lover? Oh, man, there's a lot of shit that's startin' to make sense." Then Mike's attention shifted to Dave. "Oh, Dave, oh my god, he must be feeling terrible. What can I do?" Mike said as he stood up from the chair and turned toward the bedroom door. He wanted to go hold Dave in his arms and comfort him.

"He's asleep now, Mike, and that's probably the best thing for him. Can you tell me how you know -- knew -- Capt. Roehl?"

Mike sat back down, realizing there really wasn't anything he could do at the moment but silently he vowed to be there for Dave when he woke up.

"Okay. Here's the story. About three weeks ago the MPs caught me and another guy in a... in uh... lets call it a compromising position. After the MPs rele ased me a bunch of guys beat me up pretty badly. Well, Capt. Roehl helped me get released from the Army a couple of months early and Dave asked me to come stay with him for a while until I figure out what I was going to do. I think the Captain was the legal officer for gay problems. I didn't know about him and Dave. Now it makes more sense. They worked together to rescue my sorry ass." Mike looked at the doorway to Dave's bedroom. "I can't believe this!" he said again. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked as he turned back and looked at Art.

"Dave may need a lot of help, Mike, and I think the best thing you can do right now it to be here for him. Give him his space but try to be available if he needs someone to talk to or needs comforting. I'm not going to leave until I'm sure he's survived the shock he just absorbed. Say, I need to make a phone call. Is there another phone besides the one in Dave's bedroom?"

"Yeah, I've got my own phone in my bedroom; you're welcome to use it. Local or long distance?" Mike was just a little concerned about long distance charges.

"I'll be using a credit card."

"Okay, right over there." Mike nodded his head in the direction of his bedroom.

When Art walked into Mike's bedroom he couldn't help notice the striking difference between the unmade bed, the dirty clothes strewn around the room, and loose papers all over the desk compared to the very neat and tidy condition of Dave's room. He removed a pair of Levi's from the chair before sitting down then picked up the phone and began dialing.

Mike stood just outside the door to his room with the clear intent to eves drop on Art's conversation. He listened as Art dialed a long string of numbers, paused, dialed more numbers, paused, then dialed another long string of numbers.

"It's me, Sir..." (pause) "Yes, Sir..." (pause) "Well, I'm convinced the situation is as we were told; Dave is for real." (Pause) "I recommend we proceed according to Paul's wishes." (Pause) "No, Sir, I plan to stay here as long as I feel I'm needed." (Pause) "Well, Sir, he passed out but I was able to catch him before he hit the floor. I think he hyperventilated; he should be okay physically." (Pause) "Yes, the news hit him pretty hard. This is a shitty job!" (Pause) "Okay, Sir, I'll see you when I get back." (Pause) "Good bye." Art hung up the phone and sat for a moment, thinking.

Mike hurried back to the easy chair and sat down, hoping to give the impression he had been there all the time. Actually, he learned almost nothing from Art's conversation other than he would probably be here for a while and he was reporting to someone else he called `Sir'. Mike also learned that Dave had passed out and that bothered him. Again he had the urge to go into Dave's room and hold him in his arms.

Art walked back into the living room. "Mike, will it be all right if I sleep on this sofa tonight?"

"Well sure!" Mike couldn't answer fast enough. He knew Art was here to help Dave and Mike wanted to help Art any way he could. "Say, let me get a sheet and a blanket. It's not the most comfortable place to sleep but I doubt you'd want to sleep with me."

"Thanks," Art said with a smile and a chuckle, "the sofa will be fine; it'll remind me of my college days."

Mike got the sheet and a blanket out of the pantry and helped Art make up the sofa into a makeshift bed. He showed Art where the bathroom was and then left to go to bed. It was now past 11:30. Art stripped down to his boxer shorts and T-shirt, draped his clothes over the dining room chairs, brushed his teeth, and tried to go to sleep.

"Dave... Dave..." "Paul? Is that you? Where are you?" "I'm here, Babe. And you're going to be okay." "I miss you, Paul." "I know, Babe. I'm sorry. I miss you too. Remember the first time we met?" "Yeah. I remember I couldn't believe a guy with a runner's body like yours was adding so much weight to that bar, even though you were good looking." "That was dumb, wasn't it!" "Not as dumb as the look on your face when I caught you looking up the legs of my shorts; I wished I had a camera." "See, that's one of the things I liked about you from the start. You knew I was in trouble long before I did. But I noticed you checked me out too." "Yeah, I guess I did. Then you followed me into the sauna. I thought you were so hot, and I'm not talking about the temperature in the sauna. I was just lucky I didn't throw a boner before I got out of there." "You? I had the same problem. When I saw that salami lying between your runner's thighs my mouth began to water. If you hadn't left when you did I might have jumped you. My self control was pretty weak." "I guess I read you pretty well. I gave you my schedule hoping you'd be interested enough to notice and you didn't disappoint me." "Ah-ha, I knew you had an ulterior motive in telling me that information. And I took the bait, didn't I!" "Yeah, I sure liked having someone to run with. And I thought you were fun to talk to also. I remember that Saturday morning after tennis when you invited me to your BOQ room. You know, I decided at that moment that if you wanted me for sex I was yours." "You mean it was that easy? I wish I'd have known that, it would have saved me a lot of nervous energy. To think the way I tip-toed around trying to delicately maneuver you into my bedroom and you were way ahead of me." "But you really surprised me when you wanted me to fuck you; I was sure I was going to be the fuckee. At least I was ready for that if you wanted." "No, Babe, I needed you inside me. And when I felt your spear penetrate my hole so lovingly, you also pierced my heart. I was sure I couldn't live without you. But the moment I knew for sure that I loved you was that morning when we stopped for breakfast. As I remember, I slid in behind you while you were trying to take a piss and got you hard so you couldn't, then I left. When you got into the car and called me a `bastard' while laughing about it, I knew I loved you. Not only did you have a great body you were also smart and had a great sense of humor. Furthermore, unlike almost every other enlisted man I'd met, you never backed away from me; you challenged me. I really liked that; it seemed to make us equals and that's what I wanted, needed in a lover. Well, Dave, I need to go, but I'm here for you. And Dave, please try to help Art, he's hurting too. Bye, Babe." "Paul, don't leave, please, Paul..."

Dave opened his eyes. He was sitting up facing the foot of the bed. His eyes were filled with tears. He noticed the time on the clock was 03:18 AM. `Try to help Art, he said. Art. Arthur... oh shit, Arthur Radford is Paul's boyhood friend.' Dave began to remember the events of the previous evening.

As Dave swung his feet off the bed he realized he was still dressed so he walked toward the bedroom door. Art must have put him to bed fully clothed. Upon leaving his bedroom Dave noticed Mike's door was open and he was asleep in his bed. In the living area Dave could see Art asleep on the sofa. Dave realized Mike must have helped Art with the sheet and blanket. He could also see Art's clothes draped over the dining room chairs. Dave approached Art and tapped him lightly on the bottom of his feet. As Art began to stir, Dave sat down in the easy chair to wait and turned the table lamp on the dim setting. When Art opened his eyes and saw Dave sitting across from him he sat bolt upright. Art used his fists to rub his eyes in an effort to wake them.

"How do you feel?" Art asked.

"Probably as bad as you, maybe even worse. You're Art aren't you, Paul's boyhood friend."

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Paul told me about you. He said you were a great friend and he loved you."

"He said that?" Art was surprised that Dave knew anything about him. He was also pleased because it reinforced his earlier judgement of Dave's relationship with Paul.

"Yes. Can you tell me what happened? I need to know." Dave changed the subject. "You know... when, where, how?" Dave sounded a little like a detective.

"Yeah! Sure! You deserve to know that," Art acknowledged. He sat back on the sofa and realized he was only wearing a T-shirt and boxers. He knew Dave was giving him the once-over, maybe the twice over. He didn't care. Then he leaned forward again placing his elbows on his knees. "Paul was driving from his ranch to the Post when he must have lost control of his car at a high rate of speed. At least the driver of an 18-wheeler said Paul's car passed him like he was standing still and he was actually going 75 MPH. Just as Paul's car passed him, a shower started. The car's tires must have hydroplaned because the car drifted off the road and flipped and tumbled more times than the truck driver could count. Anyway, the truck driver stopped, got on his CB radio and called the Police then he walked over to where Paul's car finally came to rest. He was able to determine that Paul was still alive so he ran back to his truck and updated his information. When he reported Paul's condition the authorities dispatched a helicopter and airlifted him to the nearest hospital. Dave, could I have something to drink, please?"

"Sure. Come with me." Dave got up and led Art to the kitchen where Dave filled two glasses with water, added some ice from the refrigerator, and they sat down at the kitchen table.

Art continued. "Well... the accident happened around 2:45 PM..."

"That's about thirty to forty minutes after I finished talking with him," Dave interjected.

Art looked up at Dave with eyes full of sorrow, then he continued. "Paul was in a coma when they got him to the hospital. The authorities were able to track down his parents through the license plate on the car and notified them about two hours later that Paul was in the hospital. His dad called me and asked me to meet them there. I've been Paul's attorney ever sense we graduated from law school and his dad wanted me there if anything came up, plus the fact that we've been close friends forever. Say, can we go back to the other room?"

"I'll follow you. Would you like to top off that glass first?"

"Yes, please," Art replied. Dave refilled both glasses and added more ice. Dave couldn't help remembering that time at the ranch when Paul educated him about a glass being half full or half empty. At this moment he was sure the glass was half-empty. Dave followed Art back to the living room and they sat down as they had been earlier.

"Shortly after noon Tuesday, Paul regained consciousness. The doctors had him pretty doped up but he was able to communicate. We were able to visit with him until about 7:00 when he lapsed back into the coma." Art began to sob. "He never came back. He died Wednesday morning at 2:18."

Art was now crying openly and so was Dave. Remembering Paul's request Dave moved over to the sofa and placed his arm around Art's shoulders. He felt Art's arm slide behind his back and they sat holding each other, their heads together, comforting each other for their mutual loss. They must have been sitting like that for better than a half-hour when Mike walked out of his bedroom, awakened by the sounds of voices and crying. He walked over and sat down on the now vacant easy chair; he was wearing only his white Hanes briefs.

"I'm so sorry, Dave, is there anything I can do?" he asked. The scene of two grown men crying for the loss of their friend was breaking Mike's heart. Mike didn't really know Paul Roehl but what he did know made him feel sad that Paul was gone.

The two men released each other and sat up. "Thanks, Mike, but I wouldn't have any idea what it might be." Dave answered.

"Well, you gotta be hungry, I'll make breakfast." Mike offered.

"Just Cheerios for me, thanks," Dave replied.

"That's fine for me too," Art added.

Mike stood up, went to the kitchen, started the coffee then poured three bowls of Cheerios. They only had two bananas so Mike placed both of them on the table for anyone who wanted one. If there were one left, he would eat it. A few minutes later, Dave and Art walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Art had put his pants on. Mike excused himself, went to his room and put on a T-shirt and sweatpants. It wasn't unusual for him and Dave to walk around the house with only their underpants on, and sometimes completely nude, but now there was a guest in the house and greater modesty seemed more appropriate.

"Dave, I told Mike some of what happened when he got home last night. You were asleep and I was afraid he was going to assault me and throw me out of the house unless I told him something. You have a damn good bodyguard there," Art said as he nodded his head toward Mike.

"Yeah, I pulled him out of a garbage dump and now he thinks he owes me something. But he's okay, he's my good friend," Dave said as he took hold of Mike's hand and squeezed it. Mike squeezed back.

The three men ate quietly, trying to comprehend the events that had just transpired. When the coffee was ready Mike jumped up, poured three cups and set them on the table. For some strange reason, sipping on a cup of coffee seems to make people want to start talking.

Art looked at Mike. "Mike, thanks for the breakfast. Now, could I have some time alone with Dave, there are some things we need to discuss between us."

"Sure, Art, I need to take a shower and get ready for work. I'm working two shifts today." Mike collected the dirty cereal bowls, rinsed them out and stacked them in the sink to be washed later, them he left the kitchen to get ready for work.

Art and Dave sat quietly for quite some time. Finally, Art began to talk. "Dave, there are a lot of things we need to take care of. First, I need to know if you will allow me to continue on as your attorney?"

"Do I need an attorney?"

"Yes, I think you do. And you'll understand why when I'm finished."

"Sure." There was a tone of resignation in Dave's voice. "I can't think of anyone I'd trust more than a good friend of Paul's. Yes, I'd like you to be my attorney."

"Thank you, I'll try to repay your trust. Now, how much do you know about Paul's net worth?"

"What do you mean, how much he made? He said he had lots of money but we never discussed it. I never considered it any of my business."

"Well, it is your business now. You see, Paul inherited a great deal of wealth from his grandfather. When he went into the Army he placed everything into what's called a `Revocable Living Trust'. During those few hours when he was able to communicate with us, his family and me, he directed that you be made the first trustee of that Trust. Do you understand what that means?"

"No, not exactly."

"It means you are a very wealthy man. I would like for you to come to my Dallas office in the near future so I can go over the specifics with you. In the meantime, do you still have the American Express credit card, the Hertz Number One card and the Cirrus card Paul gave you?"

Dave was quite surprised at first that Art would know about those things but he quickly connected the PO Box number in Dallas where Paul said all the bills went, and Art's office.

"Yes, I still have them."

"They are yours to continue using as much as you want. And don't worry about the cost, it's not likely you could ever spend enough to make a dent in what you are now worth. Is that confusing?" Art could sense some skepticism in Dave's facial reaction.

Dave sat quietly for a few moments. "I don't know what to say. I want Paul, I don't want his money." Tears began to well up in his eyes.

"I know, Dave," Art said compassionately as he reached out and held Dave's hand. "I second that thought." Art paused for a moment then continued. "But we can't bring him back. All we can do is carry on with his wishes."

"I guess," Dave sighed.

"I'm a little worried, Dave, do you think you're going to be okay?"

"You know what hurts most? Not being able to say goodbye." Dave had tears in his eyes. "Why didn't anyone call me? I would have come," Dave pleaded.

"Dave..." Art paused, trying to think of all the things he might say, "quite honestly, none of us knew you existed until Paul told us he wanted you to be the first trustee of his estate. And even then we had no way of knowing how to find you. It was only later when I was going through his things in his BOQ room that I was able to find your address and phone number. As Paul's attorney I had an obligation to validate what he told me and, I hope you can forgive me, but I read a couple of the letters you wrote him." Art paused again and Dave could see he wasn't finished. "Dave, I listened to every one of your messages on Paul's answering machine. It tore me up to listen. I could hear the love and concern in your voice. You two must have had some wonderful relationship." The tears kept filling Art's eyes. "Tell you what. When you think you're ready, I'd like you to come visit me in Dallas. I'll take you to where Paul's laid to rest and you can pay your respects. Maybe that will help you get some closure."

"Yeah, I like the sound of that. I want to do that. How long are you going to be here?"

"Only as long as you need me... and I'm comfortable that you are going to be okay."

"Yeah, I'm going to be okay, Paul tells me I'm going to be okay." Dave smiled at Art with eyes still full of tears. Art smiled back with equally tearful eyes. "Look, if you want to take a shower and get cleaned up I'll get you a towel."

"Yes, I need to do that. I must be pretty rank by now," Art chuckled.

"You're among guy friends here, don't worry about it." Dave managed a soft chuckle back at Art.

"Oh, one more thing. In my briefcase have some starter checks for your account at a Dallas branch of the Bank of America. Now that I know your address I'll have new checks made and have the account moved to your local branch here. Again, I don't think you can run it dry. I that okay?"

Dave just nodded his approval.

"Hey guys, I'm off to work, anything I can do to help?" Mike announced as he stuck his head into the kitchen.

"Just look after Dave, Mike, I'm going to leave him in your hands."

"Oh, goodie, just what I always wanted!" Mike retorted.

"You might want to rephrase that, Art, he's not to be trusted." This time Dave was actually able to laugh at the humor.

Art walked to the door, shook Mike's hand then pulled him into a hug, "You know what I mean, let's leave it at that. Oh..." Art said as he stepped back, reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and handed Mike a business card, "if he gives you any trouble you can reach me at any of these numbers. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." Mike replied and executed a mock salute just like he was back in the Army. He waved at Dave and left for work.

Before getting into the shower, Art called the airline and discovered there was a flight leaving in about three hours so he reserved a seat. While Art showered in one bathroom, Dave got undressed, brushed his teeth, shaved and was ready to shower when he heard Art turn off the water on the other bathroom. When Dave finished dressing and walked back into the living room Art was fully dressed and ready to leave for the airport.

"What're you going to do today?" Art asked.

"Oh, I need to go to the library and do some research, that should take up most of the day. I'll be home in time to make dinner for Mike and me."

Art stepped up to Dave and they held each other. A friendship based on respect for each other and love for another was creating a bond between the two men, the kind of bond most men wish they had but seldom found.

"I'll call you this evening." Art spoke softly into Dave's ear. "I want to make sure you're all right. And if you need anything promise me you'll call me."

"I promise, Art, and thank you for coming. I was on the verge of total panic. I tried finding out where he was and if you hadn't found me I don't know what I would have done. As bad as your news was, not knowing would have been much worse. I'll call you and we can work something out about my coming to Dallas."

They released each other and stood apart. Art picked up his briefcase and Dave followed him out the door and stood on the front porch and watched Art walk to his car. Art waved slowly before getting into the car and Dave waved back, then Art drove away. Dave sat on the front porch for several minutes until he began to get cold then went back into the house. At last, complete privacy! Dave lay down on his bed and began to cry. He cried like never before.

Why?' he thought, Help me understand, Paul. We had everything. We had plans for a future together. It hurts, oh God it hurts! Paul, I didn't know anything could hurt this much. I wish I understood,' Dave moaned. He labored and wailed and yelled and rolled around on the bed. Finally, when he could cry no more, he went to sleep. After about two hours he awoke, got out of bed, picked up a book and some paper and headed for the library.

Dave managed to finish his research and complete work in another class before returning to the house just before 5:30. Knowing Mike would be home soon, Dave began fixing some canned tomato soup and set up to grill some sandwiches later. About that time Mike came home, walked into the kitchen, and hugged Dave for about a minute.

"How you doin', Bud?"

"I'm okay, I guess," Dave replied. Mike could clearly hear the sadness in Dave's voice. "I had a successful visit at the library. Dinner's ready, you hungry?" Dave changed the subject.

"Yeah, I'm glad you're cooking tonight, I can only eat so many subs. Say, why don't you knock off this evening and catch a movie," it was a rhetorical question, more a suggestion than a question.

"Oh, I don't know, I thought I'd just go to bed, I feel really tired."

"Now, come on! Do it for me. I need to get out and I don't want to do it by myself. Whatta ya say?" Mike was not going to give in. He instinctively knew Dave needed some kind of diversion.

"Okay, you pick something out." Dave gave in as he ladled out the soup, put the sandwiches in the skillet to grill, and then sat down with Mike to eat the soup. Half way through he got up and flipped the sandwiches.

"Ya know, that second run movie theater is showing the original Star Wars movie, I can never get tired of seeing that! How's that sound?" Mike thought a good action adventure movie where the good guys win in the end would be good for Dave.

"Yeah, I always like that too."

"Then it's settled." Mike was relieved that they had settled on something so fast. At that moment Dave could hear the phone ringing in his room. He rushed to answer it.

"Hello? That you, Art?"

"Yeah, how did you guess?"

"Oh, I was just thinking about you. How was your flight?"

"Uneventful, thankfully. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, as well as could be expected. Mike is gonna take me to see the original Star Wars movie tonight."

"Good! I'll be checking in from time to time. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah, Art, bye, and thanks for calling." Dave hung up the phone.

They cleaned up the kitchen, Mike washed and Dave dried. There was little conversation between them. Thankfully it wasn't too long before they had to leave for the movie. Mike tried very hard not to let Dave see him watching but Mike was a little concerned about Dave stability. Mike began to feel better when he heard Dave laughing during some of the humorous scenes. The rest of the evening seemed to go well and they went home and turned in at their normal time.

Sunday morning Dave was up early and was sipping his coffee when Mike walked in.

"How about some Sunday pancakes?" Dave asked. Mike thought Dave seemed more normal but he wasn't ready to accept a complete recovery just yet.

"Sounds great. You had your juice?"

"Nah, not yet. I'll start the pancakes if you'll pour the juice," Dave replied.

Mike got the glasses and as he was pouring he asked, "You goin' to church?"

"NO!" Dave snapped back. The quick, emphatic reply almost startled Mike.

`Okay, now I know not to touch that subject for a while,' Mike thought and he let Dave's curt response just lay there unanswered.

After breakfast Mike decided to go to church alone. He had grown to like the relaxed atmosphere and he thought the Rev. Fields was kinda hot. After the service as Mike was leaving the church, Rev. Fields inquired about Dave. Mike just said he wasn't feeling well and left it at that. Upon returning from church, Mike found Dave in his room studying and decided not to disturb him. About 12:30, Mike heard Dave leave the house; he hadn't said one word about where he was going.

Dave walked the short two blocks to the church and went inside. He was pleased that the place looked deserted. He walked toward the front of the sanctuary and sat down in the second pew on the right. Bowing his head, closing his eyes, and folding his hands in his lap, Dave tried to meditate or pray. He was looking for peace of mind, comfort, strength, something, he just wasn't sure. After about twenty minutes nothing was happening, his mind was blank. He raised his head, opened his eyes and stared at the crucifix.

"Why?" He asked out loud and waited as if expecting an answer. "Why did you take him? He was such a good person. Why didn't you take me instead? Please help me understand. Is it my fault? Are you punishing me for something I did or didn't do? We had great plans together." Dave's voice grew louder. "I loved you, we loved you." Dave was now on his feet glaring at the crucifix, the anger was building within him. "We trusted you. Now this happens." Tears began to stream down his cheeks. "I CAN'T TRUST YOU ANY MORE! I CAN'T LOVE YOU ANY MORE!" Dave was shouting at the top of his lungs. Then he stepped out into the aisle, turned and began walking toward the back of the sanctuary, faster, faster. By the time he reached the doors he was running. He stuck out his hands and banged the doors open hard, practically ripping them from their hinges. He sailed through the vestibule and his hands slammed against the panic bar throwing the exterior door open. Dave ran down the street toward home.

A lone figure stepped out of the shadows of the sanctuary wondering if he would ever understand what he had just witnessed. Tim Fields had recognized Dave and instinctively knew the young man was troubled but he had no idea how to help him.

Once in his room, Dave, feeling lost, paced the floor trying to figure out what to do. After several minutes he picked up a heavy jacket, walked over to where Mike was watching TV and announced, "I'll be back," and left. He drove to the airport, parked his truck in the short-term lot and walked to the terminal. There weren't very many people at the ticket counter and he was able to walk right up to an open station.

"I need to be on the next flight to (he told the pretty agent where he wanted to go). She checked her computer then looked up at Dave.

"Sir, the next flight leaves in one hour and thirty-five minutes and the only available seats are in First Class."

Dave thought for a minute. What should he do? He reached for his wallet and handed the young lady his American Express card and his Cirrus card. "I'll take it!" he said emphatically.

"Is that one way or round trip?" The agent asked.

"Round trip, leave the return open, please." `Thank you, Paul, for teaching me how to function in this world.' Dave now knew how to make things work for him. It seemed to take less than a minute before the agent handed him the papers for his signature then his boarding pass and asked if he had any luggage. He said no, took the boarding pass and headed for the Cirrus lounge.

Kate was sitting on the couch in the cozy sitting room in the front of the house. Gloria had put the boys to bed, the house was quiet, and Kate was trying to get as comfortable as an 8-month pregnant woman can get. The room seemed to absorb the soft glow of the fire, which was augmented by the lowest setting of one lamp. There was just enough light to read a magazine by. Kate was sipping a hot cup of tea when the entire room illuminated then returned to the normal comforting level it had been.

Someone must have turned into the driveway,' she thought. It's too early for John, his flight won't arrive for a couple more hours. I'd better get up and see who it is.' John's team had lost an away game earlier that afternoon and he wouldn't get home until after 9:00 PM. Kate struggled to get to her feet and was halfway to the door when the doorbell rang. She peeked through the peephole but couldn't tell who it was so she opened the door.

"Davie? What a wonderful surprise!" Kate stepped aside to allow David to step in out of the cold. "You're a little early, Honey," she said as she closed the door, "Thanksgiving isn't for another two and a half... weeks" Kate hesitated momentarily because with David's face now illuminated by the lights in the foyer Kate could see he wasn't himself. "David, what's wrong?" There was absolutely no question in her mind that he was in pain.

"He's gone, Kate." David said with more sadness in his voice than Kate had ever heard. Dave stood motionless, staring down at the floor.

"Who's gone... Paul?" David just nodded his head. "Oh David, did you two break up?"

"He's dead." That was the first time David had actually used that word and it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Hhhhhh!" was the sound of the gasp Kate made as air rushed into her open mouth. "Ohmygod! Oh-my-God!" she said as she did her best to wrap her arms around her brother. Her reach wasn't as far these days with the large protrusion in front of her. Taking David by the arm she led him into the sitting room, helped him out of his coat and sat down on the couch with him. Kate picked up David's left hand, looked into his eyes and said, "Okay, tell me everything." She hoped that by sharing his grief with her, David would benefit from the cathartic process.

David began talking. Sometimes he sobbed, sometimes he laughed, and sometimes he cried. Kate was sobbing, laughing, and crying right along with him. By the time David finished he was lying down on the couch with his head toward Kate's hip and she was softly stroking his hair. Eventually he went to sleep. The one thing David did not tell Kate was the fact that Paul had left him some money. He didn't know how much there was and, more importantly, he didn't care.

Not long after, the room was again illuminated but the headlights of a car pulling into the driveway. `That should be John,' Kate thought. She waited.

John couldn't help noticing the strange car in the driveway as he pulled into the garage. He walked into the house moments later, dropped his bag by the door to the laundry, and continued through the kitchen looking for Kate. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Kate sitting on the couch with a man curled up next to her. With his mouth he silently formed the words, "Who's that?"

Kate was expecting him when he got to the door of the sitting room and she placed her finger up to her lips in a silent "Shhhh." Then she pointed to the kitchen and signaled they should go there to talk. John, seeing Kate struggle to stand, walked over and helped her up. After a brief hug Kate pushed John toward the kitchen.

"Oh, John, you're not going to believe this," Kate exclaimed quietly as she did her best to hug her husband one more time. "Sit down, I have a lot to tell you."

They sat down facing each other across the table. "That's David in there on the couch."

"What's he doing here? He's supposed to be in school!"

"Oh... Lord... where do I begin?" Kate was quiet for a moment while she pondered how to start. "John, I'll tell you the whole story but first I have to tell you something that David wanted to tell you himself." She paused again as she collected her courage. John could tell by Kate's demeanor that she was about to tell him something very serious and he gave her his total concentration. "None of this will make sense unless you know that David is gay."

John looked at Kate in total disbelief. "You're pulling my leg. David's no more gay than I am." Kate didn't say a word, she just continued to look into John's eyes. John's mouth slowly dropped open, "I think you're serious, aren't you!" He turned his head and looked toward the door and in the direction where David lay sleeping. Then he turned back to look at Kate with a rather stunned look on his face. "You're telling me that wonderful little guy I think of as my younger brother is gay?" John stared at Kate for a moment, looked back toward where David was, then looked at Kate again. "Whoa! Whoa! I don't know what to say!" John was really shaken by this new revelation. He had never given much thought to gays because he had never known any. "Did he come here tonight to tell you that?"

Kate was trying to read John's reaction but wasn't having much success so she continued. "No, I've known since he was fourteen, almost fifteen. He never wanted to be gay, he often prayed not to be. But he finally gave in and accepted who he was. He planned to tell Mother and Dad after Christmas and then tell you after that because he met someone and fell in love. He was so happy and he felt he owed his immediate family an explanation. He was prepared for the consequences." Kate paused, waiting for some kind of reaction out of John.

"Kate, it's a good thing I'm sitting down! Wow! What a shock!" If John had been asked what he thought about gay men he probably would have come up with some derogatory comment. He had even been guilty of cracking mean jokes about gays. However, this was different. He knew David and he loved him. In an instant his attitude toward gays was changed forever. "Tell me, why is he here, something must have happened."

Kate began explaining everything she knew about her brother and Paul falling in love and about what David had told her about Paul's death. She was just finishing when both she and John noticed movement in the doorway. They turned their heads to see David leaning against the doorframe. John stood up, crossed the room, wrapped his arms around his brother-in-law and held him for a couple of minutes without saying one word.

David was sure he could feel the love and compassion envelop him as he disappeared into John's arms. If he ever had any doubt about being gay, the feeling he got from being held by another man shattered those doubts. He didn't cry. He didn't sob. He just relaxed. For the first time since learning of Paul's death David felt safe, secure. He felt loved in the arms of a man. And there was nothing sexual about it. Finally John released David and guided him to the table and into a chair.

"Kate told me, David... I'm so sorry for you." For the first time Kate knew for sure that John was going to be all right with David being gay. He was more concerned with David's wellbeing than with anything else. "Would you like to stay with us for a while?" Now David knew he was accepted and it strengthened him.

"Thanks, John, thank you both," David said as he reached out and took hold of their hands. "Just knowing I'm welcome and loved here means more than I can ever say. I need to sleep on this. Can we talk again tomorrow?"

"Sure, Honey, would you like some hot chocolate before you go to bed?"

"Thanks, Sis, that does sound good. You sit still and let me make it."

"Yeah, I'll help," John chimed in as he and David got up from the table. David got out the milk and Kate told him where to find a small pan while John got out three cups and the Nestle's mix. As David stood at the stove waiting for the milk to get hot, John stood beside him and placed his right arm around David's shoulders. "If you ever want to talk, David, I'm here for you. You can bend my ear as much as you need."

David looked up at John with a pleasant smile, "Thanks, John, I just might have to take you up on that some day... when the time is right."

They sat at the table drinking their hot chocolate when Dave looked at John, "Hey, I never thanked you for your help getting Mike that job."

"Oh, that. Well, thanks for thinking of it but I didn't have anything to do with it. You see, I wasn't able to get around to calling until that following Monday and by then he had already been hired. The manager said he was a good candidate; he was really impressed."

"Well, thanks for trying, in a way I'm glad Mike didn't need our help." Dave smiled at John sheepishly. Dave told Kate and John a little more about Mike but left out the fact that he was gay, that was Mike's business.

When they were finished, John showed David to his room. Having been there twice before, David knew his way around. As he was undressing he realized he'd have to wear the same clothes home tomorrow. He found a new toothbrush that he knew Kate kept in the bathroom so he was able to brush his teeth.

Dave awoke early Monday morning to what sounded like little boys arguing or fighting, he couldn't tell which. He showered, dressed and went down to the kitchen for breakfast. Just as he walked into the kitchen he saw Mark or Matt hit the other with a toy which caused the other to retaliate by hitting back with another toy. This was a side of the boys he had not witnessed before. At that moment the boys saw him and ran over and wrapped their arms around each of his legs.

"Me first!" Mark exclaimed. "No, me first!" Matt yelled back. And it went back and forth a couple of times before David could bend down and take them in each of his arms.

"Hey, guys, how you been. I missed you." David tried to change the subject.

"I miss too." Matt shouted. "No, I miss more!" Mark yelled. And that went on for a couple of times until Gloria came to David's rescue and strapped both boys into their high chairs. Dave wondered if he and Kate had ever behaved like that. Kate and John came in at that moment and things seemed to quiet down a little.

"How'd you sleep?" Kate asked.

"Fine, Sis, I feel a lot better this morning."

"Good!" John added, "We were concerned."

"Thanks. I knew you were; that's why I was able to sleep so well." Then, changing the subject, "Are the boys always like this?"

Kate and John began to laugh. "Well," John continued, "enjoy this, David, because it appears this may be as close to young ones you'll get." The brutal wit of the male mind had reared its undiplomatic head.

"JOHN!" Kate was flabbergasted at John's frankness.

Dave laughed; he thought it was funny. "I guess he's right, Sis, but I think I need to be heading back to school."

"You sure you're okay?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, you guys have been a big, no huge help. And seeing these little guys has helped too," Dave said as he ruffled the hair on the top of the boys heads. "I already called the airline and have a seat leaving at 10:05 AM. I need to get back before I miss any more classes."

During breakfast David continued to marvel at the two little miracles sharing the table with him. Afterward he thanked Kate and John, said goodbye to the boys and left for the airport.

Sunday afternoon, back at the house, Mike was puzzled by Dave's sudden departure. He decided there was nothing for him to do so he didn't. He was troubled that Dave was still gone when it came time for him to go to bed but what could he do? When Mike awoke early Monday morning the first thing he did was check Dave's bedroom and found it empty. Now he was really concerned. He paced the floor while he tried to figure out what he might do.

"Art!" he exclaimed, "I'll call Art! He'll know what to do." Mike went into his room and began searching through all the papers on the top of his desk looking for the business card Art had given him. "I gotta clean this up someday!" he exclaimed out loud. "Ah-ha, here it is." He lifted the phone and dialed the 800 number. When a sleepy voice answered Mike realized he's screwed up; he forgot about the time difference.

"Hello?"

"Art? Mike. Dave's gone."

"What!" Art was suddenly awake. "Define gone."

"Well, he left here in a rush yesterday afternoon saying he'd be back but he's still not back. I'm a little worried."

"Okay, Mike, think. You know him better than I do, would he have gone home? Or is there someone he might want to talk to?"

"Nah, I don't think he'd go home, his parents don't know he's gay." Mike thought for a moment. "Wait! His sister!"

"What about his sister?"

"She knows! Dave always seemed real close; maybe he went to her place. I've got her number here somewhere... where is that card Dave made up?" Mike began shuffling through the stack of papers on his desk again. "Oh, here it is."

"Call her, Mike and let me know what you find out."

"Yeah, Art, I'll call you back. Bye." Mike pushed the switch hook down, released it, listened for the dial tone and dialed Kate's number.

"Hello?"

"This is Mike Sanchez, is Dave Baker there?" Mike had a knack for getting straight to the point, no polish.

"Oh hi, Mike, he just left."

"Oh thank God! I had no idea where he was. He didn't tell me where he was going when he left yesterday and, when he didn't come home last night I kinda freaked. He's been through a lot lately."

"Yes, Mike, we know. He told us everything and I'm glad you called. David seems much better this morning but I'd like for you to call me if you think he needs any help. Will you do that?"

"Yes Ma'am," Mike responded. From somewhere came an expression of respect for Kate that seemed almost foreign to Mike's personality. "Thanks a lot, I'll be at work when he gets home but I'll sure look after him. I owe him a lot. Bye."

"Bye, Mike, it's been nice talking to you." They both hung up their phones.

Mike immediately called Art and told him Dave was found and should be home that afternoon.

(To be continued.)