- Locked up.
When Murph got locked into chastity, he really struggled to accept it. I wasn't the one who did to him, but I thought it was good timing. I told him, "You know this Master (his name is Troy) will be sticking around. He's well situated within the community, and he probably has many subs nipping at his heels the way you've been. So he came up with a perfect solution. He gave you a choice: Either you'll quit him or you'll break through and surrender. I think you need this. You need to get shut down this way. I don't care how much you might hate it, especially when you realize you're not getting out of it soon. Sure, cry to me all you want. Curse him out, curse out what he did to you. Suffer it, boi, just like so many subs like you have to do. After all, you say you want to be a fucking slave, so this should be happening to you at this point in your life."
He stuck it through, no pun intended.. A lot changed for Murph even thought most of it was only internal. It affected the way he was thinking about himself, about being a slave, about serving a Master's commands, about being pimped out to others, all of it. And the fact that he could no longer pleasure himself the same way he had to pleasure the Doms and their friends. It was all part of a whole, an essential part of bdsm slavery.
When Doms saw that he was caged even though he was single, they had a lot of questions. No, he wasn't doing it to himself. No, he really wasn't permanently owned. Yes, this was going to be long term until he finally gives himself to a Master permanently. Yes, he thinks it's helping him serve cock better than ever. At that point they put him through whatever they wanted to try out. They found they naturally were demanding more from him than usual. He sucked longer, choked more, ate greedily, offered himself as if he had a dripping cunt. If pain was their thing, they tried to keep him as close to his outer limit for as long as possible, then backing off a little before the next surge forward.
A man I know, his Dom name is Shaun, worked Murph's body with clamps and weights, bound his balls and kept him whining and murmuring on the verge of tears. Murph couldn't figure out where any of the pain was coming from any longer, it was just all over and the more he babbled and whimpered, the more he felt like his whole body was actually cumming. At last, Shaun started backing off without every taking the slave over the top. Murph insists to this day that after Shaun released him from bondage, he went on a frenzy serving every inch of Shaun's body more than he had ever been able to do before because it felt like his body was just one ball of pain driving him to show Shaun how totally humiliated he was.
Shaun was a real artist. Still is, but I would never give away the name he uses as a "model." Just look for films of slaves (or actors playing slaves) that focus on the slave's misery-fueled whimpering for long periods of time. One of the things I've always liked about those kinds of scenes is that even if the sub is an actor, he's not acting about how much the Dom was hurting or punishing him. The actors break just like slaves when the right point is reached. I don't think an actor would go through that if he really hated it. Why bother? There are so many other ways to make good money.
I've thought about this a lot. Why a certain model has been featured in even more than twenty films where the pain broke him down would keep doing it? I've also begun wondering whether the subs who get the daylights beaten out of them were actually nothing more than slaves whose Masters sold them to the studios to be punished. Hmm...Some day, Murph might become a film star like that as well!
So anyway, as for the chastity cage, it was over three months, I think, before Murph went to Troy to beg his freedom, knowing full well that word would get out, and also that Troy would never be interested in doing anything with him again. And guess what? Troy would have him make an appointment at say, Tuesday at 3 pm. And when Murph came expecting to get out of the cage, Troy would toy with him and get him to agree to wait another week. And so he did. Nine times!!! I kid you not. Troy had this way about him that could coax this skittish sub/slave to almost double the length of time his dick was imprisoned, and actually be turned on by submitting to Troy again, week after week, until finally he just couldn't go any longer. Troy knew it and didn't even press the issue.
It was a good experience for the boi. The few times I had sex with him when he was caged, I could tell he served with greater focus and really made me feel like he was making love to my dick, or balls, or feet, or you name it. Not only that, but if I allowed it, he was incredibly affectionate. He needed it. He craved it. I kept falling in love with him over and over even more so than I already was.
It would not last between us. We both knew that. We'd figured that out by the time I graduated college. after intense love affairs and then excruciating break ups when nothing was working any longer. Then we decided to stay away from each other and that lasted for almost a year. A dry, cum-less year, at least for him, because I had others who would take care of mine. It was a real struggle, being so much in love with someone that you have to let them go for their own good as well as yours. It's not any struggle at all now. When it happens, we savor it for as long as it lasts. Then we move on with our lives knowing that we will always be able to go back to each other when the universe tells us it's time again.
And the love is always there, although it probably belongs to a category all its own. That's one of the wonders of the process of creating fiction. The universe keeps getting remade to suit the needs of the individual work.
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Hmmm... Murph is coming Saturday-Sunday, not for sex, just to hang out, maybe go to a movie together, just pal-type stuff. I wonder if it might be fun to have him involved when Donovan comes over.
Murph thought it would be hot if he could be a Dom along with me and not just the usual "slub. Ha ha! He made up the word "slub" as a combination of "slut" and "sub"—so he's a slut sub. Sounded perfect to me. I'll have to take off his cage, but that's fine. I can always lock him up again Sunday before he leaves to go home.
But Murph doesn't look good when he gets here around 11 am. Saturday, Something is off. Very off.
I go to hug him and immediately he drops to his knees and begins hugging my legs. "You can strip if you need to, baby." He shakes his head no but keeps hugging me. Finally I had enough. I put on my commanding voice. "Then let go of me and stand up."
After he's standing I reach around and put a hand on the back of his neck. Best way to calm him down. (I think I'll have to break Donovan into it as well.) "We'll talk all you want about what's wrong but I'm thinking maybe you shouldn't get involved tonight. You're in no shape to act like a Dom. You can either go out or camp out in the guest room."
He nods. "As you say, Sir." That's his sarcastic way of saying Yes Sir when I'm annoying him by acting too bossy. We've got this all handled for years now. "So I'll give you a choice: either we can go to that Kosher Deli you like so much for lunch, or we can stay here and you can tell me everything right now."
"Let's go out," he says. "I need time to relax, Dave."
I know the perfect way to relax him—tell him about Donovan. He's taking a great interest in all this. At first I was afraid it's jealousy but no. He's just following it like some porn tale. Knowing him, he's even got pictures of what the characters would be like if he put on a play. He does this a lot. It's his career. So anyway, I have Donovan's email on my phone. After we order, I start reading it to him. Right away he picks up on something I wasn't thinking about.
"So you mean to tell me this kid hung out at a glory hole and sucked off three guys in two nights."
"Right. Wait. I only read you about the first one. We still have two to go."
"Hold on, Dave, hold on. You know what I think, and you're so dense you're missing it."
"What?"
"This boy is desperate to get back to you. He would have blown ten guys if he needed to."
I stop to think. "You know, Murph, you might have something there. Damn, I figured it would take a week before he got back to me."
"How serious are you about this kid, Dave? I've never seen you like this before After all, from what you're serious about what you're telling me, this kid is ripe for the taking."
"I'm very serious. Not only that, but I'm thinking carefully about every move I make. I'm going very slowly, Murph. I don't want to scare him off."
"Well take it from a sub who's been horny for you in the past, Sir Dave, (he kisses me on the cheek), you won't scare him off. But it's good you putting so much thought into this. But please be careful if you decide you don't want him. It will tear him up. I know. Been there. Done that."
That's another story all-together of the time I decided that Murph and I would just be friends. We were younger and I didn't think carefully about how to let him know. It wasn't a good scene.
"Don't worry, baby. Yes I really think this is what I want to happen, and if for any reason I can't see it through I will take responsibility for giving him to someone who will be so good for him it will make the transition easier."
"as if you know any one like that, Dave. Come on."
"Right. But I'm telling you, Murph, this is it. We're 32. Time for some lasting decisions in our 30's, isn't that what they say?"
"right. So this is your life-changing decision?"
"Not life-changing but life-enhancing instead."
"However you want to put it. I must say I'm jealous, Dave, not of Donovan but just of the fact that you're finding what you think you need. I'm afraid that's never going to happen for me. Maybe it's just different for subs. Maybe we're not supposed to find it."
"Which leads us to why you looked like shit when you showed up today."
"Yes. but let's eat first. I'll do better on a full stomach because I haven't eaten much in three days. This was perfect, coming here. thanks."
Food arrives and we both pig out. This will be the only meal today.
After the waiter clears the table and we have our coffee, he begins.
"I never told you much about this guy—in fact, I don't even think I told you his name. I thought maybe this would be `the one,' and now . . . well, I just don't know. Anyway, we met four months ago at a spanking party this guy I know throws every month or so. It's really hot. I go a lot. So I met Klaus—that's his name—there and holy shit, he kind of took over my mind. Next thing I know I'm tied to the whipping post and he's using a single tail on me. It was like that night at the Shaft with Rocket, but damn, I don't know why, but he kept stopping to make out with me and talk to me about proving that I really wanted to be a slave who could get whipped like this whenever he wanted to, about my proving myself to him . . . . . " He drifts off, lost in a memory.
Oh yes, sorry not to mention it. We're back home now. He's still dressed, lying out on my couch. I'm sitting in my chair—we moved it so it was behind his head. The whole setup reminded me of pics we used to see about shrinks and couches, but it really made it easy for Murph to get lost in his memories of what was going on.
"Dave, as wild as that was, what was even wilder the way he took care of me once he decided to stop—and get this, HE decided, I didn't ask. He was totally in charge from the minute I first met him. Dave, I got completely lost that night—lost in him, in his voice, in the things he said to me, in the way he turned every bit of pain in my body into pleasure. He kept me there that night in one of the guest rooms in the house we were at, he made love to me and while he was doing it he was telling me that I was a captive slave boy he just decided to possess and he was putting his mark into my soul by fucking me the way he was."
he pauses again . . . . . . . "At first he told me to turn off my feelings for him when we weren't together, because sometimes there would be even a whole week between the times we'd get together---always at his insistence. For some crazy reason I was able to do it at first. Then he took me to a BDSM ranch out west somewhere—I never bothered finding out where we were. We were there five days. I even learned to ride a horse—and learned a whole new way to be very "sore" in the nether regions. And the wildest thing was the way he beat my ass and legs the day after my first horseback ride. But there was so much else. Being hog-tied, bent over a stockage fence and whipped with a garrison belt, mucking out stables in the nude (never ever again!), eating with six other slaveboys from a common trough, pissed on and in by stagehands with big dicks, even going through a "branding" ceremony knowing it wouldn't happen but getting into the feeling of the horrified anticipation . . . more even, but I think you get the idea . . .. anyway, by the time we got back home I wasn't able to turn off my feelings any more.
"He had me with him almost every day then so I took a leave from my job . . .when I wasn't with him it was hard to breathe I ached for my Master so much. . . "
I finally say something. "Murph, it sounds like . " "NO!" He cut me off. "I know it sounds like it, but it isn't. It can't be. It will take everything from me. Every single thing. Even you!"
"No one can take me away from you."
"It can if he takes me to a different continent," he says and begins to weep like his heart's been broken. "Berlin. Germany, Dave, Germany. Capital of the BDSM world, he called it. Three to six months. Non-negotiable. If I refuse, he's done with me. No further discussion. Either I go to him naked the day he flies away—private plane, by the way. This guy is loaded, Dave. Forgot to tell you.—anyway, I give myself to him naked with nothing to my name, not even clothing, on his terms as his slave and the slave of those he gives me to in Germany. Shit, Dave, I don't even speak the language!"
"wow. Intense. So, shit, it would be hard to have you gone for so long, but dammit Murph, if he's everything you say . . . .. . "
"the ultimatum and everything that goes with it, too much, Dave . . . just too much . . . . When he said naked he really meant naked. not a stitch. nothing packed. not even my phone . . . stripped as if I really was a boy on sale in the market . . . fucking hot, dude, but the real thing? .. . I can't. I just can't. And yet. . .it hurts so damn much to be away from him. Maybe I'm just crushing like a stupid schoolgirl, but it makes me ache and the thought of it being over forever, fuck!"
"I guess the biggest red flag for me, buddy, is when he says he intends to give you away to others as their slave as well . . . okay, hot idea . . . .maybe over here for a while for sure .. . .but a different country, different language . . . . . I mean, pimping you out the way I do sometimes is one thing but on a regular basis? I mean, he's giving you absolutely no indication of what he means when he says that."
"You got it, Dave. Shit! I don't know if I could even accept those terms over here."
"It sounds unreal, Murph. Like something out of a pornographic novel or something. I mean, sure, it's a hot fantasy, but let's face it: no one could have the guts to take those terms. No one."
"that's right, Dave. No one."
"So you said no?"
"Um...I can't. Either I show up or I don't. Other than that, I have no way of contacting him. I have no idea where he is."
"fucking unreal! So I assume you'll be nowhere near any airport that day, whenever it is."
"I'm afraid I might break and just show up."
"You won't, Murph, if I have to lock you up in a cell here, you won't be going. When is this moment of decision supposed to happen?"
"I don't know. He'll text me and send a limo. So there won't be much warning."
"the best thing would be to make sure you're never around, or get a new phone number. Murph, this dude is doing a fucking number on you and you're at the point where you don't seem to realize just how absolutely absurd this entire thing is. I know it sucks, but hey, kid, you've got to face reality."
All of a sudden, he breaks down, laughing his head off. LAUGHING. What the fuck?
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW
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