Dark Thought Rising

Published on May 5, 2023

Gay

Dark Thoughts Rising 4

The following story is for adults and contains graphic descriptions of sexual contact between adolescent males. If you are a minor, then it is illegal for you to read this story. If you find the subject objectionable, then read no further. All the characters, events and settings are the product of my overactive imagination. I hope you like it and feel free to respond.

Dark Thoughts Rising runs through fourteen chapters and 145 pages. If you would like the entire novella, contact me at eliot.moore.writer@gmail.com

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You’ve Got a Friend

Keegan woke at the sound of the old front door slamming shut. Rowan was still curled up under his sheet, face to the wall. It must have been grandpa Henry leaving for work. His Samsung said it was 6:00. Keegan stretched irritably and scratched his pubic hair. He padded to the bathroom. The two beer and salty snack foods from the night before left his mouth dry. He stopped on his way back to the bed to look at the sleeping boy.

He must have disturbed Rowan. His unwelcome roommate had rolled over and now lay stretched out under the thin sheet. Dad and Kim have to let me have my own room. Maybe one of us can sleep in the basement. Keegan was struck by that thought. The little shit might even be an ally this time. Keegan was a teenager. He should not have to sleep with a kid, even if Rowan was a roommate with benefits.

Keegan wondered suddenly how tall Rowan’s father was. He always pictured an older version of Rowan. The glimpses he had caught intruding on the boy’s FaceTime conversations confirmed some of that. The creepy faggot was good looking, they all are, Keegan concluded sourly. The girl was always prettier than the boy. Ugly girls might as well be lesbos. You could not judge how tall he was. Kim was slightly taller than his dad. It was a small reason not to like her.

Rowan was taller than his classmates. He had long runners legs. Keegan admired the twin globes beneath the sheet. He moved around to sit on his bed where he could see the boy’s face. How many times in the last year had he done this? Resentment triggered a tightness in his chest. The basement is crap, but I’d be free of Rowan. The pillow hid the black eye. Keegan could not wait to see Rowan’s porcelain skin turned into a mottled pizza. Strands of hair obscured much of Rowan’s face. The full pouting lips made Keegan smile.

Getting head from the little pussy was amazing. Keegan had to hand it to Davon, his troubled friend was living up to his end of the bargain. Rey was useless at the moment. Rey was sort of in hiding. Davon had the imagination to turn the brat into a fag. Which was the greater turn on, burying your tool in the amazing liquid heat of an ass, or lips and tongue tickling your rod? Probably the joy of Rowan’s quivering body trapped beneath his weight.

Keegan stared at the rose lips. But Rowan’s head bobbing between his thighs, tasting his piss and sweat. That was something else. When he came last night, Keegan had grabbed handfuls of Rowan’s hair and held him down on his cock, otherwise, the pussy had just knelt before him, worshiping his long cock. Keegan smiled softly at the memory. Your mouth is so much more convenient too.

Keegan had been playing with himself as he remembered. 6:15, what was the point of summer holidays if you were awake at 6:15? He was keyed up. Jacking off would put him back to sleep. That was Rowan’s job now. Keegan was not as imaginative as Davon. He scooped Rowan’s sleeping torso with one hand, sat on the pillow and dropped the startled boy’s head back onto his crotch. “Wake up fag boy. Do your thing.” Rowan was still half asleep, so Keegan gave him a good titty twister.

Rowan yelped gratifyingly. Even though his lips had now engulfed Keegan’s shaft and a hand was squeezing its base, Keegan pinched the sensitive breast again. The pussy stopped in protest before continuing. Keegan watched the back of Rowan’s head, letting the sweet sensations of the hand, lips and tongue absorbed his attention. With a quick flip of the tangled sheet, the sinuous curves of muscle and bone lay before his eyes. One hand stroked the length of spine, the other played with a bruised breast ready to punish.

His cock, sensitive after the morning erection, burst in the fag’s mouth. Keegan imagined a steady stream of his cum choking Rowan. Each awkward swallow must have drawn a cup of his hot juice down the boy’s throat. Keegan was washed away in the floodwaters of his own massive climax. When he revived, he realized he was smothering Rowan on his crotch and his thumb and finger were clamped down on the fag’s nipple like a vice.

Keegan released the nipple and Rowan gurgled something in releaf. He started to lift his head. It was too soon. The wave of lethargy following climax had not hit Keegan yet. He waited for the tension to drain from each part of his body. Eyes closed, he fondled the faggot’s head appreciating the manipulations of his deflating cock. A long thigh covered the cock sucker’s little penis. Keegan wondered if Rowan had a boner. The morning light slipped by a crack in the shades. Keegan felt ready to sleep. Rowan’s shoulders were twitching and Keegan decided the noises he heard were the pussy boy blubbering like a baby.

Keegan pushed Rowan away and stood up. The boy buried his head in the pillow and stretched his length on the bed. Maybe he wished he could melt right into the mattress. Keegan shook his head, thinking how easy it had been to bring the fag out in the twelve year old. You did not need to see his tiny boner. The light from the window was a bright lance right across the boy’s soft pussy. Keegan could see the liquid sheen of Rowan’s pussy juices leaking out. If he had not been so tired, Keegan would have reemed the dripping cunt till it burst into flames. Muffled noises escaped the pillow. “Get the fuck out of my room if you can’t be quiet.”

Rowan combed the long strands of wet hair back from his forehead and began to brush his teeth. He lingered over the simple task as if he could scour it free of everything Keegan. The day was going to be hot, you could tell already. He had a few vague memories of the nice air conditioned house he was born in. Robert Bressler’s old house had a window unit in the master bedroom. Keegan, the fat pig, complained about the heat in the rest of the house more than Rowan did.

It would be a great day to laze around the pool. An ugly red blossom was unfolding around Rowan’s right nipple. It would mutate into a bloody stain like his eye or the fading circle on his side. The outraged muscles were already protesting. Rowan shifted his brush to his left hand to give his right pectoral a break. There would be no pool for a while. Rowan looked like he had been mugged in an alley.

His new bag lay on top of his clothes. He thought about it for a bit, then decided to be safe. He washed his hands after lubricating his bum carefully. Best not to think about the day ahead. Rowan returned to brushing his teeth, and then rinsed twice with mouth wash. He pulled on pants, threaded Davon’s long belt through a few extra loops, then swiftly covered his body with a fresh t-shirt. When he looked at himself, he sobbed once. He wished he were strong and powerful. How do I fix this?

By Friday, the marks on Rowan’s body were fading, except for a truly ugly flare on his chest, Keegan had remembered to just use his belt. It was lonely avoiding home and all of his friends. Kepler was not St. George. A kid without a car or money really had nowhere to hang out. Rowan walked a lot, hid in a few private spots, and lived in the town library as much as he could. He stopped answering his friend’s messages.

The library was close to the civic pool along Main Street. The leather bag slapped Rowan’s hip every step reminding him of Davon, Keegan, and Rey. As humiliating as the purse was, Rowan was grateful for it. Keegan was fixated on his iPad at the moment. Everything between Rowan’s lower back and thighs reminded him of that. The iPad was his constant companion now. There was a pack of boys his age moving toward the pool. Rowan ducked into the library hoping he had not been seen.

His mom and Rob were home in two days. Rowan had thought that would be the end of his suffering, but that was stupid. The parents would be back to work and getting around Henry demonstrated how little disruption adults were to Keegan’s abuse. Keegan fretted about what Rowan would say when his mom was back. He was paranoid about the mini iPad and what it might hold.

Keegan demanded Rowan hand it over. Rowan’s mother insisted he keep it locked. “Open it!” Rowan refused. Keegan pinned him down and tried all of his fingers. Telling him the iPad was too old did not help Rowan. The iPad connected him to his dad. His mom could take him away from his dad and force him to live with the Bresslers, but as long as he had the iPad, he still had his dad.

Keegan threatened to break the tablet. He stood over Rowan waiting for him to give way. Rowan knew it was an empty threat. Bruce and his mother would know Keegan broke it. Rowan did not break things. In disgust, Keegan tossed it on Rowan’s bed, drilled him in the stomach and left him crying on the floor. Rowan kept it with him now and hid it in his mother’s work desk. After Henry left for the afternoon, Keegan tried beating the hidden location out of him.

The library was very quiet. Rowan went to his usual table with a book. He opened it with a sigh, thinking about the sparkling cool water and all his friends. It was going to be a very long summer. The words blurred. He rested his head on his scarred palm, letting the fingers shield his wet eyes. Rowan felt bad. He did not know what he was supposed to do and he felt so bad.

“What the hell Pen?” The familiar voice was exasperated. “I mean, what the hell?”

Rowan’s Heart skipped a beat. He quickly brushed his eyes and looked across the table. A spiky haired thunder storm loomed over him. It felt so good to see him standing there, myriad emotions transforming his friend’s features, all spelling out concern. Hayden Ratt had found him. He was not alone. “Hey Rat.” Rowan managed, but then he had to bury his face in his arms because how could he explain anything to Hayden?

He did not stop Hayden from lifting his shirt. When Hayden gently tugged on his hair to lift his head, he let his friend inspect the fading eye. Their eyes locked briefly. After that, he went back to shielding his eyes while Hayden sat across from him at the table. Hayden dropped a beach towel and a beaded leather bag not very different than the one laying next to Rowan’s library book. That brought more tears. Rowan knew, he just knew, someone had joked about his new bag. So of course Hayden would start to carry one too.

“My medicine bag is cooler than yours Pen.”

“Yes, well.” And again, Rowan could not go on. He slumped in his chair and covered his leaking eyes. Hayden snagged the book he was reading and waited him out. When it finally did not hurt to breath, Rowan dropped his hands, asking, “So how did the last day go?”

Hayden looked up from the book. “I did okay. This older kid beat me. Mooshum said, ‘You let that Ayahciyiniw pwata dance circles around you!” Hayden chuckled. He closed the book and slid it back to Rowan. “Come swimming with us Pen.” He urged quietly. Rowan mutely stared at the table. “It won’t matter. I want you to come.”

“I’d rather not go home right now Rat.” There was the barest tremble in his voice. Hayden would catch it.

“I bet you left a swimsuit at my house.” How do you say no to Hayden? Rowan gathered his bag and left the book where it was on the table. The elderly librarian nodded at the familiar pair. Hayden lived by their school, close to the civic pool. Hayden let him walk in silence as he filled in the details left out of their messages.

Rowan’s changed into a spare suit while Hayden found an extra towel. “Okay, let’s head over there.” Hayden left his bag when he saw Rowan abandon his on the bed. “Maybe you just fell off your scooter.” Hayden steered Rowan out the front door and away from his mother in the kitchen.

“Sure, how many times has Zander fallen off his scooter?” Rowan sympathized with Zander more now. He felt pretty helpless. He shut up. This was too close to starting a serious conversation. The sun beat down on Rowan’s head as they walked. He brushed against Hayden. Rowan did not know why. He just needed to feel his presence. His feet dragged while Hayden skipped joyfully beside him.

Rowan jumped into the water as quickly as he could. He came up through the cool water and turned just in time to receive Hayden right on top of him. That earned them both a sharp warning from a teenage girl. Rowan giggled and began to swim toward a group of friends. Muscles stretched, tension drained as the water churned about him. It was one of those days when everyone seemed to have abandoned their air conditioned gaming. Reunited with his friends, surrounded by harmless strangers, Rowan let it all go.

“Faith is over there with Deb and Akwal. Do you want to go say hello?” Hayden and he were taking a break. Rowan, chin propped on his crossed forearms, was letting the afternoon sun warm his wet back. He glanced over at the girls lounging about on their towels. Faith was wearing a one piece with just the promise of a swell across her chest. Her hair was as short as Hayden’s. He had always thought it suited her. He shook his head and turned back to the pool. He ducked his head, listening to the muffled chaos of swimmers about him. Hayden joined him and they gazed around the underwater world together.

Coming up, Rowan took a deep breath. Gay boys like you always get along well with girls. Girls are your natural best friends. Hayden’s question had distracted him. He glanced over to the group of teenagers. Years older than the boys, they were a rarity at the pool. Hayden draped his arms around Rowan’s neck and rested a sharp chin on his shoulder. He kicked his legs playfully, floating against Rowan. Water lubricated their joined skin sensuously. “What are you looking at?” Hayden giggled.

The girls were probably fifteen, but Rowan was looking at the two boys. He ducked his head again to cool the heat on his face. Rowan had marked out each boy Davon’s age as soon as he reached the civic pool. These two had come late. Hayden had caught him thinking about the boy in red. How his hard cock would compare to Davon and Keegan, what it might feel like if the boy took him, whether he was kind or mean. Hayden wrapped his legs around his waist. Rowan bit his lip.

Rowan sat staring intently at the old TV thinking through his next move. It was an old game they had both beat long ago. Hayden and he were trying to see how far they could get with a single weapon. It was proving to be a challenge. Rowan had been staring at the screen for five minutes. Hayden walked by on his way back from the shower. The boy’s were lost in their own thoughts.

Hayden stood in his underwear right at the corner of Rowan’s vision holding his t-shirt. “You didn’t get past them.” Hayden remarked.

“Not yet, the pistol may not be enough.” Rowan dropped the controller. “You give it a try. Is there another way around this mess we have not tried yet?”

Hayden turned away and resumed dressing. They lay on the bed melted together arguing strategy as Hayden took his turn. Bare feet wrestled absently as they lost themselves to the game. Rowan rested his head on his arms. He felt safe.

Rowan rolled right up against the wall, panicked by the hand on his back. After a moment, he realized he was in Hayden’s room. His friend sat on the edge of the bed looking at him. “You fell asleep. It’s been like an hour. You were crying.” Hayden pulled his hand back slowly. “Pen?”

Rowan was still shaken. He rolled back onto his stomach. “Just a bad dream, Rat.” The TV was turned off. A book lay face down on the bed beside him. Rowan looked away so Hayden would not see his tears.

“Pen?”

“Just a dream Rat.”

“Dance it out with me.” Hayden started dragging Rowan off the bed with the front of his shirt. Rowan pulled away so Hayden hooked a hand into Rowan’s belt and pulled until the long tongue of the web belt slipped loose. Rowan gave into him and let his friend lead him away from the bed. It was easier to go along.

Rowan watched Hayden begin to dance to the steady rhythm. This was a thing his mother had taught him after watching some show on cable. Hayden danced, gesturing Rowan to join him. There was no room for hoops in the small bedroom, but In Rowan’s mind, they were there in his friend’s hands anyway. Rowan started to dance. He was a hawk soaring on the warm currents of air high above the world.

They cooled off with a coke in the kitchen. Rowan opened his bag and placed his iPad and charger on the counter between them. “Take care of this for me, Rat. I don’t want Keegan to get it.”

“You won’t be able to talk to your dad.” Hayden replied. The ways the older boy might force it out of Rowan were not mentioned.

“I can come over here.” Hayden nodded.

“How will I message you?” The distance between them shrank as both boys gravitated toward each other. Rowan shrugged helplessly. Hayden put a hand on Rowan’s shoulder. “Wait here!” He returned with his old Samsung phone and a charger. “It’s dead. Switch it over to your gmail. You can talk to your dad too.” Rowan looked at the old phone. “Sorry it’s still cracked.”

Rowan traced the crack across the face. It reminded him of the matching scars on the palms of their hands. He smiled happily at Hayden. The phone and charger went into his leather bag. “Tomorrow?” Hayden grinned back at him, still believing he was Rowan.

*****

The iPad was not in Rowan’s purse. Keegan had checked the obvious hiding spots including Kim’s desk drawers and filing cabinet in the study. There were too many possibilities. Rowan had submitted to everything except tell Keegan where it had gone. It was infuriating. The boy swore he had not told his father and that he was not going to tell Kim. Keegan’s dad had just phoned grandpa Henry to remind him what time they would be back on Sunday. The knots twisted in Keegan’s gut.

Just walking through the outcome of Rowan’s blubbering out his version of events left Keegan breathless. Even now his heart was pounding. He was ready to put his fist through the wall. It was not fair. Davon and Rowan had tricked him into homo sex when he was drunk, high on ecstasy. Now he was at his gay step brother’s mercy.

If Rowan had been a step sister, there would never have been a question of sharing a room. He would have been a hot chick. The thought just underscored the humiliation, yearning and guilt overwhelming Keegan. The guilt of tapping his little step sister was nothing. He would not let his horny friends disrespect her of course. It would just be their secret affair. Actually, his buddies would admire and envy him. Keegan’s fantasy slipped away like water circling a drain. Rowan was just a pretty boy and when his friends found out, they would not understand. They would think Rowan had turned him gay just like Davon.

Keegan tried the bathroom door. Rowan had locked it. It took him a minute to find a paperclip to push into the hole. It was becoming so easy for Rowan to seduce him now. He could hear Rowan shifting around under the stream of hot water. Keegan sat on the toilet listening. The water turned off. Keegan would not have bothered, but the little pussy listened to his father’s complaints about wasting water.

When he pulled the curtain back, the boy just stood there, back turned to him. Lather covered his whole body. Rowan just stood there, letting Keegan look at his small ass. “Is Henry still here?”

“He’s on his laptop. He wants to take us out to dinner since it's his last night.” Rowan nodded. After a hesitation he resumed soaping himself.

“What do you want Keegan?”

That made Keegan’s face burn. He wanted to hit Rowan, push him into the wall, watch him slip and fall down. He even clenched his fist. Keegan tried to ease the band tightening around his chest. Rowan was so stupid. The selfish little prick, he had no idea what he was doing to Keegan. Keegan lurched toward Rowan.

He managed to stop himself. Wrecking Rowan the day before his father and stepmother returned would play right into the brat’s plan. The old bruises were fading. Fresh wounds would be just what he wanted. He had to be careful not to give his stepbrother what he wanted. The boy had one leg up on the rim of the tub while he fingered his pussy. Now he was looking at Keegan, lathering his hard flat stomach.

“Turn around.” Keegan growled. Rowan obliged him. Keegan stared at the dimples and the small of his back. “Just rinse off.”

Keegan locked the bathroom door. Rowan was trembling as he shut off the water. It took the boy a moment to understand what he wanted, but soon enough he was lying straddled over the length of the tub rim. His pussy was an invitation. “Please Keegan, I'm not ready.” Keegan was.

“Damn you Rowan, God damn you.” Rowan’s skin screeched along the porcelain surface as Keegan thrust into him. He found himself hissing at the boy. “It's your fault you little asshole. I hate you, I hate you.” Keegan paused deep in Rowan. He grabbed the wet tangle and pulled Rowan up. “It doesn't matter who is in the house. Grandpa, your mom - she can be knocking on the door right now - it doesn't matter.” Deep in Rowan, feeling his gay pussy squeeze his aching cock, Keegan could convince himself that was true. “You keep your mouth shut you stupid cunt. Not a word to anyone.” Keegan went back to methodically bringing himself off.

Rowan had ejaculated on his belly while Keegan fucked him. Keegan watched him rinse off and soap down a second time. The boy was crying silently. “Save it Rowan. You cannot fool me anymore. You and I know you're a slut. You want it.” The pain in his chest was gone for now. There was still room for disgust. It lingered there between them. “You should have been a girl, you know that don't you? God damn you Rowan. God damn you.” Rowan just stared at Keegan, tears running down his cheeks, shaking like a leaf. Keegan glared back, eyes brimming over, his own misery overflowing.

*****

Rowan backpedaled on the swing till he could go no further. He swiveled  back and forth thoughtfully watching a couple of young girls talking earnestly on a park bench before they had to bike home. Apparently none of them wanted to go home. The girls looked his way, so he studied his runners. After a bit, Rowan started to swing back and forth, giving it just enough momentum.

After the shower, Rowan shuddered, after the Chinese restaurant with Henry and Keegan, Rowan took refuge with Hayden. They scrounged up a group of boys and played football in the school yard. The boy's played rough. It was honest contact free of the unfairness.

It had only been seven days. How could it only be seven days? Everything was upside down now. There was an emptiness inside Rowan he had not felt since his dad moved out. Then the emptiness grew as his friends were yanked away from him a year later and he was whisked away from his familiar home to sleep in a room with a stranger who resented him.

Rowan kicked his legs up to the sky. A bright smile broke out. Then he discovered Hayden. Hayden danced. In grade three, Hayden did not dance very well, but nobody ever danced more proudly than Hayden. His classmates giggled at the unfamiliar music during sharing time. Ms. Glasser made them all join Hayden’s dance. The other boys jerked about doing their own thing. Rowan carefully followed Hayden’s shifting feet. Hayden gyrated over to him and by recess, he and Hayden were orbiting about each other dancing in step. Rowan did not realize the recess bell had rung until everyone was pushing past him. Hayden stopped and smiled at him and he did not notice the warmth filling his chest. The drumming lingered in his ears as Rowan followed Hayden out to the playground.

The cute girls left the park on their bikes as the swing gradually came to a rest. Henry would be expecting Rowan to come home. Seven days, one week, he did not know himself anymore. Rowan stared at the bulge of his crotch. It was his private joy, this visible sign that he was practically a teenager. He liked to wear blue jeans just to show it off a little. He noticed Hayden's growing groin when they changed, anticipating the time he would see pubic hairs on both of them. It was time to start walking home.

Seven days ago, being touched by someone was as much as Rowan had the courage or imagination to dream about as he lay experimenting with his newfound manhood. Maybe tickling a cute girl like Faith, feeling her smooth skin, meeting her liquid brown eyes. Kissing Faith, touching her private parts, how could he do that? The dirty sex talk Keegan and his friends exchanged simply embarrassed Rowan. Hayden would never talk that way with him, but then, they were not teenagers yet. Rowan had climaxed more in the past seven days than he had in the month before.

Rowan stopped and leaned against a tree just a few houses down from home. The modest old two story did not feel like home anymore. It was a trap. His mom loved Robert Bressler and Rowan loved his mom. He had been willing to make Kepler his home and after making friends with Hayden, he thought he was happy. Keegan and his friends were changing that. He was in a trap now.

Keegan and Davon frightened Rowan. The anger was bile in the back of his throat. Pain frightened Rowan, but after Keegan failed to torture the location of his iPad out of him, Rowan knew he could take the strap. Maybe, you don’t know what that psycho will do to you next. Rowan brushed that aside. Adults were still a protection of some sort. Keegan had to be afraid of what they would do to him if he really hurt Rowan. He had been getting sex. That was the thing that really frightened Rowan. Sex with Davon excited him as much as it scared him now. Was it really so bad? He wanted to ask his mother that, but how could he?

Henry made no comment as he came into the house. His bags were packed beside the couch. Rowan imagined he wanted to get home. He lingered with the old man asking about the train derailment near Fort Walsh. Finally he went up the stairs to his room.

Keegan was sitting in bed staring at the wall. He watched Rowan strip for bed in silence. When Rowan came back from the bathroom, he was still sitting there. Rowan slipped under his sheet, prepared, but praying that Keegan would leave him alone. He lay with his head turned toward the teenager. Go to sleep you bastard.

Rowan’s eyes widened in surprise when his stepbrother began moaning softly. Keegan might be crying, he was not sure. His hands covered his eyes and he rubbed them fiercely as if ashamed by the tears. There was a shudder and his shoulders slumped. Rowan watched as the older boy began rocking back and forth slowly.

“Oh God dad, I’m so ashamed. I can’t even look at you.” Keegan dropped his hands and Rowan thought he saw the tears glisten in the dark. There was a note of desperation in Keegan's voice. Panic and bewilderment. “Don’t be angry at me dad. I swear I know I was doing the wrong thing. Oh God, I can’t believe I did that with him, my own brother.” There was a sob. “We were drunk and Davon sucked me into trying some pill. I know that was wrong. Your and Kim trusted us. Grandpa Henry trusted us. It’s just, Davon showed up with beer and I thought we could be responsible.”

“So I let Rowan join us. I mean, he wanted to be part of the fun. I swear dad, I did not let Rowan drink, only maybe he had some of your liquor when I wasn’t looking.” At this, Keegan stopped talking and started sobbing.

Rowan recognized the false notes finally and his heart hurt. You lying bastard.

“Rowan started asking all sorts of questions about being a teenager dad. We were all drunk, you see? I screwed up dad. I know I’m the older one, I have to be responsible for Rowan. I... oh God, don’t hate me dad, oh Jesus... I let him touch me. Don’t be mad at Rowan. He is just a little kid still. His dad is a faggot.” Keegan paused, “His dad is gay. Rowan was curious. I was drunk, he wanted us to. It just sort of all happened!”

“I was so ashamed I beat on him the next day. Ask grandpa Henry, he grounded me, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. Who would believe us? He makes me do more stuff now. Rowan said he would tell about us if I did not let him keep touching me. I can’t tell you about the rest dad. I’m going to kill myself if you find out what Rowan likes me to do. I can’t go on like this, I’d rather die. I don’t want to be a fag, a gay like Rowan.” The tears rolled down Rowan’s face as he silently listened to Keegan. This was the trap he feared.

“He looks at me all the time. It is an embarrassment when my friends come by. I’m a guy, my penis, you know what I mean dad. I thought, Rowan’s getting older, he just wants to know. I swear on grandma Heather’s grave, I never thought he wanted to, you know, do stuff with a guy. He’s a little boy! I try to sleep, but he lies there touching himself like he can’t stop, just watching me. I should have known! I’m so stupid! He tricked me and now he won’t leave me alone! Am I gay now dad? Is that what he did? Did he make me gay?” Keegan ended with a few hysterical sobs and then collapsed into himself. There was silence and all Rowan could hear was the blood pounding in his ears.

Finally Keegan looked up at him. When his voice spoke, it was chillingly calm. If anything, it frightened Rowan more. “How was that? I don’t cry as well as you do. The truth is, it would be more believable coming from you.” Keegan stood up and looked down at Rowan. “Still, who are they going to believe, the horny teenager who plays hockey, or the pansy boy who doesn’t? The pretty boy too delicate for sports. The sensitive boy who likes to dance with other boys. The confused boy with a fag for a father?”

Keegan told Rowan to stand up. He was so furious at the injustice that he held his ground, glaring through his tears. Keegan dragged him from the bed by the hair. Rowan batted the hand away, bunching his fist. He knew he would pay for it, but he wanted to break something on Keegan’s face. He stood looking up at Keegan. “You bastard, you lying bastard!” He hissed at his tormentor.

“I’m going to knee you twice. You are going to stand there with your hands behind your back.” That was not going to happen again. Rowan tried to block the knee. He took the light blow on his hip. Keegan’s fingers gouged into his shoulder and without warning, his left nipple was on fire. While Rowan clawed at Keegan’s fingers, a knee landed in the groin just hard enough to make him hurt. Rowan lost control and started to collapse. Keegan’s huge hand clamped onto his throat stopping his fall. “Stand up.” Rowan struggled back to his feet still smarting from the light hit. It was not as bad as the first time Keegan sacked him. He stood gritting his teeth, agonized by the continuing torture to his left breast, waiting for the pain when Keegan kneed him a second time. Somehow, Rowan stayed on his feet as the second wave of pain expanded outward. With a last sharp twist, Keegan released Rowan’s nipple. Rowan bent forward with his hands protecting his damaged crotch.

There was too much pain. “Agh!” He managed before Keegan’s palm smothered his mouth. His head was turned so he twisted around in Keegan’s arms and slammed against the fleshy chest. A whimper escaped when fingers lightly brushed his savaged nipple. Too much pain. He could not match Keegan with anything less than a baseball bat and then where would he be?

“See Rowan. This is the way it goes. I thought you understood that now. You’re not a girl, too bad. You are a little fag, so we will make the best of things.” He grabbed Rowan by the hair and pulled him up. “What do you say Rowan?” Keegan lifted his hand.

“What... do you want to do Keegan?” Rowan surrendered yet again. Keegan spun him around. Rowan was nauseated by the probability Keegan would knee him again. His nipple was on fire and he felt snot running from his nose. Just ask me to suck your cock or fuck me. Just stop hurting me.

Keegan lifted his knee slowly until Rowan’s aching testicles were mashed against his groin. Rowan panted weakly at the added pain, dancing on his toes. “Get me hard Rowan, so I can fuck your cunt.” Rowan fell gratefully to his knees.

Body of Work

If you are here on the midway then you have come to the carnival seeking entertainment, company and of course excitement. There are a dazzling array of rides suited your every mood. There are gentle rides that conjure up soft memories of youth and rides that lift you from the dreariness of your grind and send you flying ageless through the night. There are also the side shows…

If you are here then you are in the house of mirrors captivated by the reflections around you. They are all curved in some way. Every mirror is imperfect and every mirror draws your attention to something new. The mirrors magnify or diminish parts of what we think is real. Sometimes you like what you see and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you believe what you see and sometimes you can't be sure what has been distorted. The distortions are intentional and we flatter ourselves into believing the mirrors only stand arrayed like this in such places as the midway. Before you go back to the mirrors of your life step closer to this one.

Eliot Moore, 2007

Here is a summary of the wide variety of other stories I have published.

Awakenings: This ghost story was posted to Nifty in November 2016. Middle aged divorcee Jake begins renovating a 1900’s Craftsman home in an old neighbourhood. He becomes entangled with Will, the 18-year old ghost of a Great War veteran and Chris, a 15-year old homeless addict on a desperate quest. As Jake’s failed life is rejuvenated by his love affair with Will, he slowly pieces together the hundred-year-old connection that has brought the three of them together.

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/awakening.html

For Your Eyes Only: This novella was posted to Nifty in November 2010. Simon meets Glyn and his younger brother James one August evening during a neighbourhood game. Simon and Glyn become fast friends but it is Simon's secret game with James Fleming that helps Simon accept his hidden self.

http://west.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/for-your-eyes-only/

A Fragile Light: This story was posted to Nifty December, 2009. Graham (28) goes to the Christmas Eve service to be with his husband John. He is alienated from his deeply religious family and detached from the warmth of the service. He identifies a kindred spirit teenage Theo and learns they have more in common than he thought as Theo is joined by Jesse. Graham leaves strengthened by the encounter.

http://www.dabeagle.com/stories/eliotmoore/afl/afl.htm

Janus: This story was posted to Nifty July 2009. Michael (18) is coaxed into attending a summer party by his older sister. He is college bound and uncertain about the choices he has made. At the party his encounters with Lauren (19) and Scott (20) help him discover himself and make a decision about his future.

http://www.dabeagle.com/stories/eliotmoore/janus/janusdh.htm and

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/bisexual/college/janus.html

Hound: This story was first posted to Nifty the summer of 2008. The first draft was completed in 2005 and in truth I sat on it a long time before I decided to post it. Six-year-old Ethan Yates is abducted off the streets by a pedophile ring. Cast into a nightmare world he struggles to hold on to his identity. Isolated and confused, he clings to fourteen-year-old Peter. As the years pass their mutual need develops into an indestructible bond.

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/bisexual/authoritarian/hound/


Turbulence: This novel was first posted on Nifty between February and June of 2007. Fourteen year old Daniel Murrell finds the hazing at Riverview High School as freshie a serious challenge. He negotiates it with the help and hindrance of his friends. After a long year of discovery, he comes to terms with his bisexuality.

http://west.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/turbulence/ (first edition) and

http://www.dabeagle.com/storymainpages/turbulence.html


Recovery: This story was first posted to Nifty in January 2007. Sixteen year old Greg Cox reluctantly joined his father in a small rural village in Saskatchewan. There his life becomes entwined with fourteen year old Seth Patterson. As he is slowly drawn closer to Seth he struggles with the memories and guilt associated with the loss of his mother, brother and sister while coming to terms with his promiscuity.

http://west.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/recovery/ and

http://www.dabeagle.com/storymainpages/recovery.html

Next: Chapter 5


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