Have you ever been the reason why hundreds of people were giving a standing ovation? Let me tell you it is the most rewarding and satisfying sensation you can ever have. That is if you don't faint while you get it...
Let me introduce myself. My name is Alberique de Beretta III. I don't have the slightest clue why my parents liked that name. I hated it and therefor, most of my friends just called me Al. My father loved his name and was proud to have the same one as his father. He wouldn't tolerate anyone to use an abbreviation of it like I did. Old blue blood was still running in his veins. I just turned thirty and was twenty-seven at the moment of the events I am about to tell you. At a very early age I realized I was not like all the boys around me, not because of my name and my ancestors, but because I knew I was gay. Despite the old blue blood thing, my parents were very open-minded and accepted me just the way I was. I came out of the closet at the age of sixteen and even though they thought it was a late puberty phase, they didn't make any fuzz about it. They were supportive and gave me all the necessary good advise as to not get into any trouble. At the age of twenty-one, they had to admit I was really gay and that it was not just a temporary thing.
My father was a well-known businessman and successful at it. My mother was working as an interior designer, not because she had to, but only to avoid total boredom. My father secretly expected me to join him in his business, but I had other ideas and graduated as an architect. With two buddies of mine from university, we opened our own bureau and even if I say so myself, we were quite successful with our projects. I was lucky enough that my father needed new offices and asked us to design the building. My mother did the complete decoration of it and in our town, that office building was a reference.
As a true blue blood family, we had a lot of social gatherings. Most of them were fundraising events, but a few were just random festivities where upperclass dinners and dances were the main feature. Therefor, my Mum thought it would be a good thing for me to have some dance lessons as to not make a total fool of myself at such events. I wasn't really looking forward to it, but to my biggest surprise I actually loved it. The teacher was such a sweet older woman who knew how to make it all pleasant and efficient at the same time. For most of the guys my age, ballroom dances were boring and old-fashioned. Not for me! I had always liked all kinds of music and soon enough discovered the pleasure of moving in a very elegant way over a polished wooden floor. Mrs Anderson, our teacher, said I had a natural gift for dancing and she even concentrated a little more on my skills than the other pupils. She even said I had what it took to participate in contests and she saw to it that I was at that level.
My dance partners were all beautiful girls and women till Mrs Anderson made me dance with Rachel. She had the necessary skill to feel exactly what I wanted from her on the dance floor. It seemed we were meant to meet and dance. At one point we even thought we were going to fall in love with each other, but that was not what Destiny had in mind for us. It didn't hinder us to have a serious complicity on the dance floor and a very good connection as soon as we left the wooden floor as well. At the festivities our family was invited to, I was soon known as the one to dance with. The highlight of some of these evenings were when I danced with my Mum. It happened more than once that the dance floor emptied itself when she and I started to dance. We almost always got a round of applause and my Mum was always beaming out of pure pride.
Combining work schedules and dance rehearsals was not easy. Our bureau was having a nice success and we were often overwhelmed with requests. My two buddies, Mark and Filip, and I could often be found at late hours bend over our drawing tables, trying to satisfy our customers with office buildings (Mark and Filip's speciality) and private houses (more my kind of thing). When one day I was mentioning it to my parents, my father advised me to raise the prices. He said it would lessen the requests and raise our fame. Of course, he was right. He had just given me the key to success he had always followed in his own business.
That was my life... till I met Jeremy.
I met Jeremy at one of my Mum's fundraising events to help people with AIDS. Yes, she was really concerned about it and even more because it was still the gay community that was most affected by it. Quite a lot of medication had stopped the virus to be as devastating as in its early years. Fortunately some people in the gay community were conscious of the risks and PreP was a great help, but the vaccine was still not there and research needed the funds more than ever. It was not because AIDS was not reaching national or local news on TV anymore, that the battle was won. Those fundraising events were always using the double meaning of the word "gay" and it turned out that quite some people were looking forward to the events my Mum organized.
On that particular event, my father was absent as he was on a business trip and my Mum asked me to take his place. What she wanted was that I would stand next to her at the entrance to greet the people and afterwards doing a little speech as to incite the people to give even more money than what they had already given. I felt honored in both cases. I would probably never have met Jeremy if I had not been standing next to my mother, greeting the guests. He didn't stand out in the crowd. You see, Jeremy is a discreet and almost a shy person. He doesn't like to be in the spotlights. I say he is almost shy because once you know him, he is not shy at all.
What happened was that at the moment to shake hands, an electric spark jumped between our hands. It was strange as I had shaken hands with hundreds of people and nothing happened. That electric spark made us look at each other. Without that spark we would probably not even have noticed each other. That eye contact and handshake lasted quite some time longer than for politeness purposes only. In normal circumstances I would probably not even have noticed him. Jeremy is not the hot guy everybody looks at. He is the kind of next-door type, normal height, normal weight, jet-black hair, hazel eyes and a cute goatee, but when he looks at you, you can feel his gaze going through you... at least, that was what I felt. I couldn't leave my place next to my Mum, but I turned my head more than once towards the overcrowded venue, hoping to see him somewhere. It was a futile attempt and I had to keep my attention towards the incoming guests anyway.
My Mum, who notes everything, asked me who I was looking for.
-I don't know, I said, he didn't introduce himself.
-Do you mean that guy who gave you quite a long handshake? she asked with a smile.
-Jeez Mum... Do you have more than two eyes or what? Yes, indeed, that guy who shook my hand and didn't look sideways when doing it.
-That was Jeremy Benson, she said. I thought you knew him...
No, I didn't know him, but at least I got his name now. My Mum dragged me to the bar, saying we certainly deserved a drink after shaking so many hands and talking to people we didn't even know. We each had a flute of Champagne that was empty before it was in our hands. We asked for a second one.
-Don't drink the second one, my Mum said, you'll need it to toast with quite some people.
We went to the podium where she made her speech, asking people to give as much as they could to help the research. She had a way to ask for money without even mentioning it. A bunch of quite nice looking boys and men were going through the crowd with big glass bowls to collect as much money as possible. While doing her speech, she outed me to the crowd, saying I was gay and also a possible victim to the deadly virus. It was not the organizer of the event who was speaking, but a very concerned Mum. It reached the heart of many. As she wanted it to be a gay event (gay in the meaning of merry) she dragged me to the dance floor and made a sign to the DJ who played a song she had chosen: Sam Smith's "Pray". Yes, we had rehearsed it at home and in all modesty I can say we did it very well.
The following days my Mum called me several times, telling me that the fundraising was a huge success and that the total amount was more than she had expected. The researchers would be more than happy and be able to do a lot more. It was no secret that the health department was getting less and less money from government and research was the first affected. That was why she gave so much care to her fundraising. After that event I got a lot of e-mails and requests for personalized house designs. It was even hard to keep up with answering mails and making some serious budgeting for potential clients. Some of them wanted an estimate without even mentioning their requirements! Fortunately I had a kind of standard form to send to them, containing a lot of questions with multiple choice answers, such as style of the house, number of bedrooms, open concept or not. It made it easier for me to make up an approximative budget.
The biggest surprise came when I received an e-mail, signed: "Jeremy and Claire Benson". I looked at that signature twice. So, after all, Jeremy was married! There were a few things that I didn't understand. First was that intense look we had shared, the electric spark and the handshake that was longer than just politeness purposes. It didn't make a lot of sense to me. It was true that I didn't remember seeing Jeremy entering the fundraising event accompanied by anyone. That could have a lot of explanations of course. His wife could be traveling, or sick or whatever other excuse to not attend the event. Thinking back at the event, it was also true I just saw him coming in, but not afterwards. I didn't know what to think.
Nonetheless, I had to be professional and answer his e-mail. His inquiry was quite detailed, so it was not too difficult to answer with a quite accurate price for the design of the house, including a few basic designs they could choose from. Those were just basic drawings of what the house could look like.
I was a little disappointed. I really thought Jeremy was single as he was alone at the fundraising. When a few days later I was on the phone with my Mum, I mentioned the price request I had gotten from Jeremy. She was as surprised as I had been and just like me, was not aware Jeremy was married.
-Were you interested in him? My Mum asked.
I explained to her what had happened and that, indeed, I was intrigued after that first meeting. It was more the look he had given me than the handshake that lasted a bit longer, that had attracted my attention. I didn't mention that I had been thinking about him on and off since then. There was a kind of mystery about him that fueled my curiosity. I caught myself thinking about him while pleasing myself although my interest in him was not sexual at first. He was not the traditional handsome guy that most fall for, but he had something... difficult to describe. But now that I knew he is married, my interest in him decreased quite a lot. Having sex is not my cup of tea. Making love is and that excludes all kind of hook-ups and one-night stands. I had them in the past but it was not what I was looking for anymore. I wanted to have a real connection with a partner and yes, most definitely, feelings.
It is well known that we can all have sex almost at every street corner. It is not that difficult and even less in the gay community. They say we are promiscuous and it is true in a very high percentage, but I was not part of the statistics. I needed more. I can't conceive sex without kissing and kissing is something I don't do with just anyone. I don't see kissing as a sexual act, but as a deep connection and the expression of the feelings I have in my heart. Of course, I am talking about the mouth to mouth kissing, not just a greeting kiss on the cheek. Did I see myself kissing Jeremy? I think I wouldn't need a lot to reach that point. No, I was not in love with him... yet, and him being married was reducing the chances it would ever happen. That's why I lost some interest in him. It was not that I desperately looked for a boyfriend but it is undeniable that, when you meet someone you find attractive in any way possible, your imagination runs ahead of you. And that was what happened when I first met him.
Fortunately, I had a lot on my mind, being it professionally or in my private life and leisure time. Mrs Anderson had announced she inscribed Rachel and me in the next state dance contest. That meant of course that we had a lot of rehearsals. It was a welcome diversion in the many hours I was bent over the drawing table and other work-related meetings. With time we had been able to select two builders. One that was responsible for the bigger works such as Mark and Filip's projects, and a smaller building company for the houses I was creating on paper. Jeff, the owner of the construction company I mostly worked with, worked only with highly qualified people and using high standard materials. That's why I chose him to realize most of the houses coming from my drawing table. Our collaboration was a very good one as he understood what I wanted and I took his advises in account. The results were always brilliant.
I was happily surprised when Jeremy sent me an e-mail, asking for a meeting to specify what he wanted in detail. He mentioned his cellphone number and instead of writing him back by e-mail, I called him. At our first meeting I had not really heard the sound of his voice. When he picked-up the phone I was not even sure it was him. Man! He had a sexy voice over the phone. I invited him to come to our offices as I had more things to show him. He accepted enthusiastically and we made an appointment for a few days later in the late afternoon.
When Jeremy arrived at our offices, he was alone. I thought that for such important matters, his wife would be with him, but she wasn't. We introduced ourselves once more even though we had met before. We sat down in my office and started a very business like conversation about what he wanted and I noted down everything directly in his file in my computer as to not forget anything. He pointed out he liked very much one of the drawings I had sent him, with a few minor modifications. The thing he liked the most was the fact that everything in that house was all on one single floor and he explained me why.
-You see, I need everything on one floor as my wife is seriously ill. There is no way for her to do any stairs. She can move around the house in a wheelchair and even with that help, it is difficult for her as she has almost no strength left in her arms. For the moment our house is on two floors and I have to carry her upstairs. I don't mind doing it, but sometimes it is really hard, not only physically, but also mentally. She just hates being dependent on me for everything, but she has no choice.
I made the notes in his file as to not forget that all doors had to be wheelchair-wide and to have all the necessary arrangements in the bathrooms, too. I could see it was hard for Jeremy and therefor avoided asking too many questions about his wife's illness. Jeremy went on giving me some instructions about what he needed and what he wanted. He also mentioned he had the necessary land and permits to build on it.
-One of the most important things for us, is to know how much time you will need from today on, till completion of the house. For me it is important that Claire can have a total peace of mind and not worry about anything at all. She struggles enough and I want to give her a maximum of independence as she wants to have, but with a two floors house it is impossible.
I didn't want to make Jeremy wait for an answer and asked him where his piece of land was before calling Jeff to have an approximate idea of a timeframe. Giving him the necessary details on location, house and permits he told me it would be doable in like four months, excepting the interior designs. Then I called my Mum to see if she was available to visit Jeremy and Claire, check up on the furniture that would be moved and have a proper design to fit everything in. She said she would make time for Jeremy at his best convenience. I gave all that information to Jeremy and promised to respect a deadline once we agreed upon it. I knew I would be drawing days and nights in a row to have everything Jeff would need.
Jeremy's visit was going to be over far too quickly and I was desperately seeking for a reason to have him stay longer. Yes, he was married and I didn't stand a chance, but I liked his company so much. If I hadn't known about his wife, I would have invited him for dinner. I just had to know how his daily life was and how he managed to leave the house with a sick wife.
-How do you manage to leave your wife alone?
-We have a live-in nurse at the house. I still have a job to do and I have many appointments. The nurse is looking out for Claire and knows how to contact me if necessary. She understands that from time to time I have to get out of the house and having something similar to a normal life. That's where she takes over and provides any help Claire needs. She's a great person and I am so glad that Claire and her get along so well.
-What kind of job do you have?
-I am a physician, a house or family doctor if you prefer to call it that. And that's why I feel so frustrated, because I can't help my wife. Even the specialists are lost and don't know what to do. We are at the point that all the possibilities have been looked through and through. I don't want to put Claire through other "possibilities" anymore. I want to be sure that whatever is done from now on, will have positive results, although nobody can guarantee me that. What is left now, are experimental drugs or treatments that are new and without any proved results. I always leave it to Claire to decide if she wants it or not. She is so tired of doctor's visits and different treatments, but most of all, she is tired of the pains. It's about a month now that we switched over to morphine to ease the pains.
My heart went out to Jeremy. Nobody should have to go through that. First of all, the patient, but also the ones who care for them. It is so hard to see someone suffering and not be able to help them, being it a wife, a mother or sister, or just a friend. When Jeremy stood up to leave, I couldn't help myself to hug him tightly. He hugged me back, squeezing me in his arms. That hug meant the world to him, but to me too. We stayed like that for the longest time and I couldn't avoid to think back to our first handshake and intense look at each other.
Once he was out of my office, I immediately put some new paper on my drawing table and started to design his house with all the new information he had given me. An unknown energy was possessing me. I had the feeling I had to hurry with my part of the job so that Jeff could start as soon as possible. Something in my heart told me that the urgency was justified. Jeremy had left my office around 6pm and the next time I looked at my watch, it was 2am. I needed to sleep if I wanted to be productive the next day.
It was the ringing of my cellphone that woke me up the next morning. There was only one person who would call me that early: my Mum. After my call yesterday, she couldn't help it and started to investigate a little more about Jeremy. That was how she discovered that Claire was in an advanced state of AIDS. The main problem was that most of the existing medication didn't have any effect on her and nobody knew why. The illness was progressing fast and, apparently, there was nothing anybody could do about it. She had had a miscarriage and had lost a huge amount of blood. It was now certain she got the virus by these transfusions of blood she needed to survive. My Mum had her way to get information like nobody else could, but one thing was sure: if she gave me any piece of information, I could trust her it was true. I also understood better why Jeremy was at the fundraising event. He had made a substantial donation.
I couldn't help it: I was falling big time for Jeremy. I still didn't know a lot about him, but what I knew made my heart melt like snow in the sun. I knew I was putting myself in a very difficult situation as he was married and falling for women, not for men. But suddenly my whole world was reduced to finishing the necessary plans for Jeremy's house and my rehearsals for the contest Mrs Anderson had inscribed us for. I saw my own place just to sleep and shower, and nothing else.
The rehearsals were exhausting, repeating over and over the dances we would have to perform. Rachel and I were firmly decided to get a medal! For most of the dances we didn't know which music would be played, except for our own free-style number. It was a very sensual Spanish number: "El Beso" by Pablo Alborán. Mrs Anderson had elaborate a very nice and almost erotic choreography and it had taken quite some time to master all the steps and according body movements, but Rachel and I did a very good job at the end. Mrs Anderson was a very demanding teacher and would follow us very closely while learning the choreography. Not only did we enjoy the dance, but we also wanted her to be proud of us and there was only one way to do so: getting a medal for her.
Mrs Anderson was a very understanding and open-minded person. Of course, she knew I was gay but it didn't bother her at all. She even said it was probably an asset to reach my goals on the dance floor. When one night, very close to the date of the contest, I was not really at my best, she even suggested that I would have to think about someone I REALLY wanted to dance with. Most of the people would think I would imagine myself dancing with my Mum, but in fact I thought about dancing with Jeremy. With Jeremy in mind, we repeated our dance and Mrs Anderson said I had never danced that well before. She told me that, whoever I was thinking about, that person would have to be in my head and in my heart when dancing during the contest. I had to admit it was an easy thing to do. Jeremy, although I didn't see him that much, was haunting my mind and my feelings.
The necessary plans were ready for Jeremy to look at and sign them as to approve them before I sent them to Jeff. We once again met at our offices and went over them, looking at every detail and be sure I had not forgotten anything. He was very pleased and asked if he could have a copy of them as to show them to Claire. I had anticipated his request and handed him the copies. Once again, he hugged me tightly and my whole body reacted to it. I was happy that I wore quite tight jeans that confined almost painfully, my growing manhood, but as we were pressed together, it was undeniable Jeremy wasn't soft either. Wasn't he married and supposed to fall for women? I was really confused, but liked the hug very much. When we broke the hug and we looked in each other's eyes, I couldn't detect any confusion in his eyes. He even had a nice smile on his face. My God, what was going on?
I had to put an end to our meeting as we had been busy more than what I had expected. I had, again, an important rehearsal with Rachel and I said so to Jeremy, mentioning as well the upcoming contest.
-You'll have to tell me where and when that contest is. I really would like to see you dance.
-I'll do even better, I answered, I will ask my teacher for a free entrance.
-That's very kind of you, but I can afford to pay for it!
He said that with a smile and a wink. I gave him the date and the place already, but insisted on seeing him to hand over the entrance.
I was almost late for rehearsal due to heavy traffic and not finding a parking space. That was because I was not concentrated... thinking about the meeting with Jeremy. I started to have a strong suspicion that maybe he was not as straight as I thought he was. OK... ok... he was married and even got his wife pregnant, but it is well known that there are quite a few married men who are secretly gay, or at least bi. Nonetheless, there was so much concern and even love in his eyes when he talked about his sick wife. All this contradictory information was messing with my thoughts. I couldn't have a clear picture of what to expect with him. For my part, I knew I was falling in love with him. I just wondered if I would end up heartbroken. I knew I shouldn't think like that, but my rational part of my brain took over and dictated it. My emotional side was telling me to go for it and try whatever it was to win Jeremy over to my side.
Mrs Anderson yelled at me. I had, once again made some mistakes and she insisted that I had to think about the person I was thinking about the other day. That little trick worked every time! She knew what was necessary to win such a contest. She had won more than one. She so insisted on the complicity between dance partners. If we could believe her (and we should) that complicity could be seen by the public, but more important, it could be seen by the judges. If those judges couldn't see it, we could say goodbye to the medal. Our dance techniques could be the best in the world, but if there was no real collusion, we would never win. During a little pause we had, Rachel admitted that while dancing she always thought about her boyfriend and future husband. I had to admit that I was thinking about what I thought was an impossible love. She was so understanding and we talked about it. When we went back to the dance floor, she begged me to think about the love I had mentioned, picturing that it was not an impossible one. I set my mind on it and of course it worked to perfection. I even tried to imagine what it would be to dance "El Beso" with Jeremy.
The night before the contest, I got the unannounced visit of Jeremy while I was alone in my office. It was unannounced but I was very happy to see him. He said he came to check on the evolution of the building of his house. It was a bit confusing. Wouldn't it have been easier to go to the construction site and check it directly? Fortunately I had been to the site the same morning and could bring him up-to-date. The whole time I was talking, Jeremy looked at me quite intensely and I was even wondering if he heard any of the words I was saying. I didn't know... it was as if he wasn't even listening. I felt his gaze going through me. It was suddenly obvious he had, for the moment, not the slightest interest in the construction of his house. He was after something else, but I had no clue what he was looking for or expecting. I even started to feel uncomfortable. My God... That look in his eyes was searching its way to my soul and my heart, I felt it. I tried to relax and return the look although I thought I was not up to get evenly strong and penetrating. He came closer... till he could wrap me in his arms and hug me. My heartbeat was going at the speed of light. It was one of his strong and meant hugs. A hug where you are pressed together to the point you can feel the heartbeat of the other person. I had never received a hug like Jeremy gave me. It may sound strange to say, but he could transmit so much in his hugs and I knew I could really get addicted to them. It's the kind of hug where you just forget where you are, what time it is and where you don't care at all if someone sees it and has an opinion about it. It was a ... sincere hug. There was nothing fake in it. If it depended only on me, that hug could have lasted forever, wakening all kind of emotions, love being the strongest one. My heartbeat was making me dizzy and I had to lean on Jeremy more and more, till he drew back a little and looked me in the eyes. I couldn't be sure what I saw. Was it lust or was it love, or was it both of them? I returned his look and wondered what he saw. Was it confusion and doubt? It most probably was.
Our arms were still around each other and like iron is attracted to a magnet, our faces came closer... till our lips met, hesitantly at first but with a growing strength. Jeremy's tongue was caressing my lips and I couldn't do anything else than open my lips slightly. His tongue took advantage of the small opening to enter my mouth and that was when all passion was released. It was a kiss I had hoped for, but never expected. It was a kiss that shattered my life to pieces, letting loose all the feelings I had been suppressing for so much time. I abandoned myself in his arms and in this kiss, trying to show him I was falling for him, that I was ready for him. What I felt in that kiss was that he as well was giving himself over to it as if he was taking what belonged to him. He took my face in both his hands, avoiding me to withdraw, but of course I had no intention at all to do so. I could feel my heart exploding in my chest. I had to squeeze my arms around him as to not fall with that dizziness that was overwhelming me. I wanted this kiss to never end. It was so intense and yet not sexual.
When we broke this kiss, Jeremy looked at me and just said we would see each other at the contest the next day... and left. What on earth happened? He came with a false excuse, kissed me with so much passion and love and then just left as if there was nothing the matter? If I was confused before the kiss, I was even more confused after it. I felt a slight but persistent pain in my chest. Was that because of Jeremy's actions? Or was it just because my heart had been beating so fast and was now tired? The dizziness I had in Jeremy's arms faded slowly away, but I still had to sit down for a moment. I felt strange. The combination of dizziness with the slight pain in my chest and Jeremy's attitude was getting a little too strong for me. I had to gulp down two big glasses of water before I came back to my senses, although the confusion was and stayed at the highest level. The main question was why Jeremy had kissed me and why I accepted it. This was not just a simple kiss on the cheek, it was a full open-mouth kiss that lingered for quite some time. I had never kissed anybody like that before and yes, I had to admit it, I liked it very much. What I didn't like was Jeremy's reaction afterwards. Was it that he had suppressed gay feelings and just lost control for a moment? Was it that he was gay, but didn't accept it? Or was it that he wanted to do it and afterwards felt bad towards his ill wife? How would I know? He didn't give me a chance to ask anything. I was too stunned to even open my mouth before he so abruptly left.
Is it necessary to tell you I slept very little and badly that night? I don't think so. The upcoming nerves for the contest I found normal. The preoccupation about Jeremy and his reaction were also a big part of that almost sleepless night, but I needed to rest. I needed to be in absolute top-form for the contest. I had gone to bed around midnight, but at 2am I was still turning around and around without catching any sleep. This was insane. I got out of bed and went to the liquor cabinet, serving myself a nice brandy. After that I took a warm shower, trying to relax all my muscles in my body. Jeremy was still haunting my mind and even when I closed my eyes, I could see him in front of me, smiling with lips and eyes. I even got aroused and my hand went automatically to my hard manhood, stroking it till my juices spurted out and disappeared with the cascading water. I went back to bed and, fortunately, fell asleep till the annoying buzzer of my alarm clock woke me up. No, I didn't feel rested. That was not good with the day I had in front of me, but I had to be realistic. Coffee and a COLD shower would give me new energy, or at least that was what I was hoping for. I dressed, took my backpack and was on the road to the venue where the contest was. Mrs Anderson was waiting for me at the entrance, gave me my pass for the day and lead me to the dressing room. Rachel was already there, sitting in front of the lighted mirror and putting on her make-up. She was radiant as usual and when she saw my face she immediately knew not everything was ok for me. I trusted her enough to tell her what had happened with Jeremy at my office, without leaving out a single detail. She listened carefully, letting me finishing the whole story.
-At least you know you are not indifferent to him! If his kiss was as passionate as you let me know, it is sure there are strong feelings. That he is not yet at ease with it, is something else, but you should see it as a chess game. He made a first move and now it is up to you. If you don't make a single move, he can't go on playing. Consider it as a possibility. It is most probable he feels guilty towards his wife, but even if it sounds harsh, his wife is none of your concerns. The only thing that is important to you is what the two of you can get to, what you can reach and in my humble opinion you are on a good path. Just give him some time...
I realized she was right and that gave me more joy than the confusion I had in my head. There was hope after all. Rachel went on talking to me, bringing down my level of nervousness by fueling my hopes and expectations. When we were called to go on the dance floor, she looked in my eyes, holding my hands.
-Come on Al, let's go out there and have some fun. We don't need a medal to have a great time. This is OUR moment!
We walked onto the perfectly polished wooden floor as we were expected and took our place. I couldn't help it to look over the crowd and search for Jeremy with my eyes. With the tickets I had given him, I knew approximatively where he would be and indeed, there he was... applauding the contestants and following me with the eyes. When our looks crossed, he smiled and even winked at me. He was there standing next to my Mum and his wife in a wheelchair.
The music started. Rachel and I were connected and we did as she had said: we had fun. We knew our techniques and danced almost automatically. We had all the basic dances to perform before we would have our own free-style dance with Pablo Alborán's "El beso". After the waltz, tango, rumba, quickstep and so on, it was finally our moment! We would have the complete dance floor to our own. The spotlights were following us and Rachel squeezed my hand, looking at me intensely just before the first notes of the music made us move swiftly and elegantly in front of hundreds of pairs of eyes. It was magical! My nerves had completely gone and we shared a precious moment, forgetting where we were and what we were supposed to do. We just enjoyed ourselves and smiled at each other. We were truly connected during the whole song and when I grazed her lips with the last note, there was a deafening silence in the room, just before the applause exploded. It made us "wake-up" from our reverie. Judging from how long the applause lasted, we knew we had done well. It was up to the jury to decide how well.
Mrs Anderson was on cloud nine. She said we had been spectacular. We just crossed our fingers the judges would think the same. The results would be proclaimed a little later and we took the opportunity to rest a bit and drink some water. Rachel carefully wiped away some sweat on her forehead, taking care not to wipe away her make-up. The height of the night would be, of course, the proclamation of the results. All participants were aligned in front of the judges. I once again looked for Jeremy and my Mum. They were beaming with pride even before we heard the qualifications of the jury. Jeremy looked at me and did a duck-face, sending me a kiss. The pressure in my chest was there again.
When we were called to the podium, hearing we had won the gold medal, I didn't realize fully what it meant. Rachel had to drag me to the podium. I was flabbergasted. We had won the competition! I had not expected that. We were of course obliged to repeat our last dance and the complete venue went quiet when we started to dance again "El beso". In my mind I was dancing with Jeremy. I kissed Rachel again very softly at the end of the dance. That's when we received a standing ovation. The pressure in my chest was stronger and stronger, till it became a harrowing pain and... I fainted.