Dan and Ben at Sixty-two

Dan and Ben at Sixty-Two--Chapter Seven By Ezra Randle

Ben and Gary were just finishing up with dinner when Ray popped in unannounced. By this point, he never knocked when he came over, and they were rarely surprised when he joined them in the kitchen. Only once had they been in bed when he dropped by. When he came upstairs looking for them, Ben went out in his robe and explained. Ray turned red and apologized. The next day they established a protocol. If they were home and the door was locked, Ray wouldn't enter. "There are a few leftovers, Ray."

"Thanks. I ate with Celeste. But I can see you had the makings of a dinner I would have enjoyed."

"It was just chicken soup I whipped up, Ray," Gary said.

"Now that's a twist. You cooking."

"I don't usually. You're right. And Ben pretty much set it up. I was just following his instructions. He says I need to work on my meal prep a bit."

"Who will do the clean-up then?"

"That will be me, tonight, Ray. I don't want to pile it on. But Ray, the main floor bathroom faucet has a drip. Whenever you can get to it," Ben said.

A unique relationship had developed with Ray during the three months he had been seeing Jack Reynolds. The two of them met every week, usually on Wednesday sometime between eleven and three. Neither Gary nor Ben typically saw Jack, but he always left a short note thanking them for their hospitality, and Ray always made sure they saw the note. Ray always washed the bedding and towels they used, and put clean sheets on the bed before he left. In return, Ray suggested he perform occasional household tasks like fixing the leaky faucet or repairing the damaged tiles near the front door. In addition to thanking Ben for the hospitality, this arrangement would serve as a simple explanation for his regular presence in Ben's house.

Ray usually stopped by at dinner time which was predictably at six, and frequently when Ben and Gary were nearly through with dinner. Gary was amused by Ray's need to be part of their family. Gary hadn't had this ritual of a family dinner since he was eleven years, the year his father ran off from the family. After that, with his mother working evenings, he and Ricky scrambled for dinner, sometimes heating up something his mother made but more likely popping in a pizza or making Kraft mac and cheese. Initially, when Ben suggested they eat together most evenings, Gary saw no reason to be home on time as sometimes he'd stop at the gym on his way home. But with Ben's insistence they began functioning as a family unit at dinner, even if it was just two people, inviting each other back into their lives after a day apart at work. Gary accepted the ritual graciously, though not without some reluctance. Within a few months of giving himself over to the plan, he began to treasure the time. Gary's response generated such warmth within Ben that he showered his gratitude on Gary with frequency.

Ray's frequent attendance at meal time added to the joy of being a small family, now with Uncle Ray as their regular guest. Gary had become very attached to Ray. They often spent an hour talking about Ray's career and his family, but the chats inevitably came down to Ray's regrets over stifling his urges to be with a man. One evening as they were talking, Ben joined them in the living room. "I wish we saw Jack more often. I know it's impossible on the days you meet when we're at work. But maybe he could join us for dinner some night," Ben said.

"I'll ask him. He has some time limitations because he cares for his partner."

"What's wrong with him?" Gary asked.

"Pancreatic cancer. It was discovered half a year ago, but he's been remarkably healthy. The prognosis was for one year, but he may outlive that."

"Does Jack plan to take care of him at home?"

"As long as he can. Neither of them has the money to pay for a bed in a nursing facility until maybe the final days."

"Does Jack talk much about what comes next?"

"A little. He really loves his partner, but he's also ready for the care part to end. It's complicated."

"It sounds as if you two do lots of talking in bed in addition to the sex."

"We do. I call him most days as well."

"What about you, Ray? What would you do if Jack were free?" Gary asked.

"It would depend on him."

"Do you think you're just a substitute until he's free and starts looking for a new partner again?"

"I hope not, but I wouldn't blame him if that were the case. He's probably looking at the odds of me being free. They aren't much different than when we were in our forties."

"You wouldn't leave Celeste would you?" Gary asked.

"That's too much to think about. I just want to enjoy the present moment. But as I've told you guys, I haven't been this happy for a long time. Sneaking out of the house and into yours to have sex is something a teenager would do. But here I am living that life."

"Have you evaluated the risk?"

"Sooner or later someone's going to wonder about Jack coming here every week when you two are at work. I'm not sure what I'll do then. They might tell Celeste. I'm not sure what would happen. Maybe it's already happened and she hasn't said anything to me."

"Jack should park in our garage. Have you talked about that possibility?'

"He's concerned about intruding even more into your lives."

"I'll call Jack, Ray. If he came over for supper, on a weekend, we could talk with him outside the house. People would see he's our friend. We could lower any suspicions," Gary said.

"I like that idea. I wouldn't even have to be there."

"How is the sex with the two of you?" Gary asked.

"Quite good. Different than when we saw each other when we were younger. Our bodies were different then. Our ability to stay hard is different. But now we are so much more appreciative of what we are. I am treasuring every time we meet. I know it could be the last. I spent thirty years wanting it again. I'm determined to value every hour and every minute we're together."

"Does Jack feel the same?"

"I think so. I've told him a variation of what I just said, and he agrees. But he's had so much more experience with men. He's had three long term affairs since I saw him. He knows the male body so much better than I do. He has loved several men. I think I'm in that group. In some ways, my life doesn't compare. I'm like a novice jumping into this life again. And I could get booted out of it just as quickly. I spend part of each week full of regret. Almost anticipating I'll lose it again. Then when Jack and I meet again, it is so enriching. I almost gag on the intoxication."

"Wow, Ray. I can feel your torment and your ecstasy. It's beautiful and sad," Ben said.

"Yeah. Some days I'm convinced I'll leave Celeste and take up with Jack when his partner dies. Living with him. I'm so damn confused. The only time I'm not confused is when I'm with him. Touching him, kissing him. Taking his cock up my ass. God, I love that."

After Ray left that night, Gary felt very unsettled. He knew he and Ben were doing their best for Ray, but he had the sense that for Jack this was, in fact, just an interlude until his partner died. Then Ray would be left alone again. Jack wasn't to blame. It was simply another version of ships passing in the night. He slipped into bed with Ben. Ben was in a semi-doze state. "You awake or should I let you go to sleep?"

"I always like talking with you."

"What do you think about Ray?"

"We walked for about a mile before he went inside. He wasn't nearly as sad afterward. He seemed to accept the situation. The last thing he said to me was, `I hope Jack likes me enough to consider me when his partner dies. After the audition is over'."

"What did you tell him?"

"That it was more than that. Jack loved him once. He could do it again."

Ben rolled over on his side and Gary slid next to him, spooning him. "You feel good. Sorry you're taking it so hard. It's sad for me, too."

"Will we run out of steam, Ben? Some month or year, one of us will lose interest and begin looking? Or maybe go back, like you might with Dan?"

"Not a good comparison, Gary. Ray's been out of circulation for decades. He's married. This is an interlude by all betting measures. It's too difficult predicting what will happen."

"You know it's not. Jack seems like the type of guy who needs to partner up. Ray has too much to lose by deserting Celeste even if Jack wants him to. We're just getting the first glimpses of Ray being abandoned and losing the thrill he's been living for these months. It's what happens to too many gay men. Left behind for one reason or another."

"That's old school thinking, Gary."

"Sometimes I'm afraid you'll leave me behind. Not because of Dan, but because something in your life will make you realize all this with me has been a mistake. When your daughters visit us this weekend, they'll make you feel guilty. You'll go back to being a version of Ray."

Ben turned toward Gary. "You stupid asshole. Don't let yourself go down that road. That's old Gary talk. You're better than that. I'm better than that."

Ben pulled Gary to his chest and kissed him deeply. "Besides, it's much more likely you're going to find someone new than I will. Like Alex has," Ben said.

"I can't think about that. I love you too much. It would break my heart more than it would yours, Ben."

The lovemaking that followed was one of their most romantic moments. The passion of their touches was profound, touching their souls. As though this night shouldn't end. They didn't need to touch each other sexually in any new way. Just holding each other deeply and kissing like it was the last night in their romance brought them both to full arousal. They masturbated each other as they kissed and sometimes wept bringing them to the edge of orgasm. When Ben said, "I love you," they both erupted onto each other. Their bellies and chests were coated with the cum of mutual longing and trust.

Two days later, Ben and Gary put the finishing touches on the house cleaning in anticipation of the visit of Jessie and Annie. Jessie who was driving up from Kenosha to rendezvous at Annie's home in Wauwatosa decided not to bring her two teenage girls. But Annie was determined that Benjy and Ellison would have some time with their grandfather. Though Annie knew she and Jessie would monopolize the time with their father. Just from a short visit at her home this past fall, she had confidence that Gary would entertain the kids. That was the only time she'd met Gary. She was still working through the adjustment of her dad living with a man. Her kids wondered who Gary was, and she had to go through a convoluted explanation that Grandma Maureen no longer lived with Grandpa and that he now had a roommate. Her husband who was one hundred percent accepting of this change in his father-in-law's lifestyle told Annie that the kids at nine and seven were old enough to understand. Annie told him, "But what if he changes again, what if Maureen comes back or he finds another woman...or a different man." It was simply too confusing to her, so how could her children possibly understand.

She had other options, modeled by her older sisters. Marnie simply considered their father to be deranged. Perhaps from the lingering effects of their mother dying. And if you threw in her increasingly evangelical beliefs, their father had no chance with anyone in Marnie's family. Her husband was even more rigidly Christian, and their three kids had lost most of their connection to their grandparents. They hadn't seen their grandfather except for a few times since the funeral of their grandmother a dozen years ago. If Annie let herself, she became enraged at Marnie. But she had never been that close to her. The six years difference in their ages had always seemed like ten.

Jessie presented a more viable way to deal with the changes in their father's life. Jessie never liked Maureen much, but she tolerated her. So the holiday visits with Maureen accompanying her father were always reasonably pleasant. Jessie's husband, Ted, a school teacher like Jessie, was a very reasonable man. He dealt with gay co-workers on a regular basis and reminded Jessie what decade they lived in. But neither Ted nor Annie's husband, Nate, had to deal with the reality of seeing their father sharing their childhood home with his lover who was more than twenty years their father's junior. It was all theoretical to the husbands, even though they both liked Ben a great deal.

When Ben received the text from Annie that they were thirty minutes away, he kissed Gary and said, "Ready for your big test?"

"Ready but uncertain. If they just leave me with the kids I'll be fine."

Jessie had trimmed down since the last time he'd seen her. She mentioned a diet she was on, doctor's orders she said. And she was dressed in shorts and a designer type t-shirt, looking sharp as always, though neither Ben nor Ellie could ever figure out how she became such a clothes hound. Neither of them were, nor were Marnie or Annie. Annie still had the mother's weight she'd never lost after the birth of Ellison. But she carried it well, and, from Ben's point of view, she was more attractive with it than without. She still reminded him the most of his wife, and she always made him take a few steps back when he saw her because of that resemblance. He didn't miss Ellie as much as he did a few years ago, or even during the years he was with Maureen. Somehow, Gary and Dan had each gotten under his skin and further into his soul. He was a different man now and he hoped he could explain that to the girls when they had their conversation.

BBQ simmered in the slow cooker, so they ate soon after they arrived. Gary's potato salad, made from one of the few recipes he had brought with him, especially appealed to the kids. As the kids praised him, Gary couldn't hide his joy. Ben told them to head to the basement to play while he and his daughters cleaned up. When they finished, they went into his den. "OK, let's have at it," he said.

Annie looked at him smiling like her mother. "We're not here to attack you, Dad."

"Whatever you want to call it, let's talk. Because we haven't yet. And it's about time."

Jessie took the initiative. "It's not because any of us is homophobic. Well, excluding Marnie and her clan. But it all seems like such a dramatic shift. We knew nothing about this side of you, and all of a sudden you're rooming with Gary."

"We're living together, Jessie. We're partners."

"Dad, can you explain it. We're willing to listen. How did this all happen going from Maureen to Gary?" Annie said.

"OK. Gary is not the first man I've been with. I saw another man for a few years. When I was figuring this thing out. Deciding if this was really me or not."

"Does that mean you'd been thinking about it all your life? Just waiting for the right moment?" Jessie said.

"Actually not. It was a midlife thing. It surprised me just as much as you are now. Once I accepted the possibilities, I began to see this was inside me wanting to come out."

"What's so difficult for us is that we grew up seeing you with Mom. You seemed completely happy with her. We all saw you hold her and kiss her. To be honest, I'm probably not the only one who heard sounds of your lovemaking coming from your bedroom. You seemed completely satisfied," Annie said,

"I was. I loved Mom completely. We made love all the time. That was not a lie on my part. I was not faking it. For God sake, we made you three. We would have had two more if Mom hadn't miscarried. We were a family in every possible way. But then I discovered something else about myself."

"Were you seeing men while Mom was alive?" Jessie asked.

Ben looked at both of them. "Don't ask that question unless you want me to be truthful."

Jessie and Annie looked at each other. Jessie began crying and Annie took her in arms. "How could you, Dad," Jessie said.

Ben got up and went to the window, then he turned and said, "Just before she got sick, I had my first experience. Then after that, I was so messed up. So sad and alone. I needed a friend. Most of the time, he and I just talked. As she got worse, that's all we did."

"Dad, that's why they have therapists," Jessie said.

"He was like a therapist. He'd hold me and let me talk about everything. He held me together. My God, he was my friend when I needed one."

The three of them sat there. Jessie continued crying, but Annie had released her and moved her chair closer to her dad. "I don't hate you, Dad. I love you just like before. I actually like Gary given this is just our second meeting. I'm really puzzled about the age difference. How old is he?"

"He just turned forty-one."

"In some ways I would understand it better if he was close to your age."

"If it's any help, the first man was my age. We were high school mates. Gary seems older to me. And I love him. But it's not some weird thing, like he's my son. He's my equal. There's just something there. I'm sorry I can't explain it better. I got to know him quite well when we worked together at FirstEnd. Then we started our romance."

"What happened to Maureen?" Annie said.

"She was taking care of her dad. For more than a year. I wasn't seeing her very much. We drifted apart. We fell out of love. It was mutual by the way."

"Not to be rude, Dad. But she was a difficult person for us to like. And it wasn't that she followed Mom," Annie said.

"I don't want to bring her into this. I did love her for the years we were together but then it stopped working and this other thing became too powerful to ignore. She didn't do anything wrong. So let's leave her out of this."

Jessie stood up. "I need to go for a walk."

Ben nodded. "I know you won't get lost."

"I'm going to check on the kids," Annie said.

Both of his daughters left the room. He went to bathroom and peed, then looked at himself in the mirror. It was difficult to smile but he was able to. Would Ellie be able to understand any of this? What if she hadn't gotten sick but he'd continued to see Dan? Could he have hidden it from her? What if she discovered he had been with Dan? What would he have done? He lifted his arm up and saw the sweat circles. Annie was waiting for him back in the den. "How are the kids," Ben asked.

"They're having so much fun with the old toys. I'm glad you've kept them. When I said we were leaving in a little while, they begged me for some more time."

"Are they all right with Gary?"

"Just fine. It's like he's one of the kids playing with them."

"I've seen him in action with his brother's kids. He's quite good at playing. I'm sure he is better than I ever was as a dad."

Annie moved next to him on the sofa. Ben pulled her close to him. "Daddy, do you ever think of her?"

"Yes. I did just now in the bathroom. I asked her if she understood how my life has changed."

Annie smiled. "Did she have an answer?"

"No. But she wasn't angry."

"That's very sweet. This has been very helpful to me. Jessie will be better once she thinks it through. Her husband has told her repeatedly to get over it."

"What about Nate?"

"He's the best of us all in terms of accepting it. His brother is gay, and he and his brother are best buds."

They heard Benjy and Ellison running and screaming in the backyard. When they looked out the window, they were chasing Gary around the yard with water balloons. Jessie was watching them smiling. "Let's go outside, Dad," Annie said.

They stood on the back patio watching until Gary and the kids stopped and sat down in the shade. All three were sweaty from running around. Gary's white t-shirt was soaked from the sweat and having allowed the kids to hit him with the balloons. Ben could see the hair on his belly and chest through his soaked t-shirt. His nipples were quite prominent. "You kids can cool off in the air-conditioned van," Annie said.

They walked around to the front of the house. Ray was outside and walked over. He greeted Jessie and Annie with a short hug and said hello to Benjy and Ellison. "I hardly recognize your kids. They've grown so much."

Jessie gave Ben a short hug, but said nothing other than, "Thanks, Dad."

Annie got the kids into their seatbelts, then embraced Ben fully. As she was getting into the driver's seat, she paused and retreated back to where Gary was talking to Ray. "Thanks, Gary. The kids had a great time."

Without hesitation, she hugged Gary and he reluctantly returned the embrace. She returned to the car and the four of them departed.

Gary told Ray he had called Jack and talked about coming over for a meal. Jack was eager but no date had been set. "You always act quickly on your impulses, Gary?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it turns out I acted foolishly, but usually it's for the good."

Ray returned home and Gary and Ben retreated to the back patio and sat in the shade. Gary removed his wet t-shirt. "What the fuck, what about Annie's hug? Took me completely by surprise," Gary said.

"I think it means just what it was. She was thanking you for spending time with the kids. And letting us know she kind of accepts you."

"Is that what you talked about?"

"Among other things. They also wondered how I could be with someone so young. So, it wasn't clear sailing."

"What did you tell them about that?"

"A variation of the usual. I was looking for someone to take care of me in my old age."

Gary laughed. "Well, there is that." He took Ben's hand. "Hope it went OK with Jessie as well."

"That was less successful. But it could have been worse. She walked out toward the end to take a walk and think things through. Annie will help her process it all. So, it went pretty much how I predicted it would go."

"And Marnie?"

"A lost cause for now. But she hated Maureen as well."

"So, you and me, we're still good?"

"Yeah. You looked quite sexy in that wet t-shirt. I'm sure the girls noticed."

"That was over the top, huh?"

"Just a little. Your tits were kind of prominent. But they've seen mine over the years. And mine aren't that much different than yours."

Gary stood up and posed, sucking in his belly so his breasts were even more obvious. "Yeah, I like that look. Now you're getting a rise from me."

Ben unzipped his shorts and pulled his semi-hard cock out. Gary pulled down his wet shorts so he was just in his boxer briefs. "Be careful, maybe they forgot something and will show up again," Ben said.

"I'll take my chances."

Ben pulled off his polo shirt and unfastened his shorts and pulled them to his feet. He was wearing boxers on this hot day. He stood up against Gary and they kissed. "Do you think Ray is watching?"

"Hope so."

Ben pulled Gary's underwear off and held his stiff cock. "Wow, that didn't take long."

Gary felt Ben's cock. "Nice, it's popping free from the foreskin. I like it when I can do that to you. Let's go to bed."

They left their clothes on the cement floor of the patio and went upstairs.

Halfway up the stairs, Ben felt Gary's fingers grabbing his ass cheeks. He stopped and let him press his front into his backside. "Ben, let's invite Ray over. Let him see us."

"You think he wants to?"

"He's been watching us for months and would love to be there in person."

"What are you proposing?"

"We can make love. No fucking. Just rolling around kissing. Some sucking."

"Call him up. Tell him I have a repair question."

Ray popped in ten minutes later. "Up here, Ray," Gary yelled down.

When Ray saw them sitting naked on top of the bedding, he said, "This some kind of a trick?"

"Gary suggested you'd like to see us make love. I told him you wouldn't be interested."

Ray laughed. "Of course, I'm interested. But the issue is whether I should or not."

"In a way, Ray, you've become part of our little family. So, we don't mind. From everything you've said, you've been watching us pretty closely," Gary said.

"Go ahead. If I don't like what I see or I don't like watching, I'll just go home."

Ben and Gary started kissing and rubbing each other. For just a few seconds, Ben had a grin on his face, but Gary pulled him into intimate passion, almost like Gary had done this sort of thing before. It wasn't a three-way exactly, though Ray's eyes were riveted on the action. After a few minutes, Ben was able to put Ray out of his thinking and began touching Gary all over like he had been when they stripped on the patio twenty minutes earlier. They played with each other's nipples as they kissed, each man taking a turn at sucking the other's nips. When Ben slid down to lick Gary's inner thighs, they heard Ray taking off his clothes. Ben looked up briefly to see Ray stepping out of his shorts and underwear. He smiled as he slowly made his way up to Gary's balls, licking them lightly and feeling Gary respond like it was the first time it had been done to him. He rose a bit more and licked the underneath part of Gary's shaft, lingering on the special place where the foreskin of his infancy had been cut off. Gary rolled his head back in pleasure as Ben rose and kissed his lips again. Gary turned to Ray who was sitting in a chair he had pulled closer to the bed. He was naked stroking his hard cock.

Gary lowered himself, so he was licking Ben's balls and inner thighs. As Ben moaned, so did Ray. Gary realized how many years Ray had gazed at Ben, neighbor to neighbor, thinking about such a moment when Ben would be yielding to Ray's hungry tongue. He licked Ben with the gusto he could feel Ray generating as he watched them. Gary slowly ran his tongue up Ben's shaft and licked the tip of his knob that jutted from the skin. Ben moaned loudly as Gary tugged on his foreskin with his lips. "O, god, that feels good, when you pull on my skin."

Ray was sitting on the edge of the bed watching them as Gary rose and kissed Ben again. They turned to Ray. "What do you think, Ray," Ben asked.

"That I shouldn't be here. But I am loving what you guys are doing. Jack and I do a variation of what you do, but to see someone good at it is really stimulating."

"I'm sure you and Jack are good, too," Ben said.

"Would you mind if I just touch you?"

"Go ahead," Ben said.

Ray leaned over and touched Ben's ass cheeks which were right in front of his face. "I've already told you how much I hungered for a touch like this. Watching you all these years. I used to gaze at you when you were wearing just shorts and I could tell you didn't have underwear on. I could see this tuft of hair right here, at your lower back, and wanted to feel it."

"I never knew, Ray. Of course, back then, I wouldn't have been thinking about it."

"Of course not. It was just in my head. I never knew you had a foreskin. I'd never seen you naked. When you guys stripped for me a while back, and I saw your cock for the first time. I was a bit shocked. I didn't expect you were uncut. I've been thinking about that ever since."

"Jack's cut like you are?"

"Yeah. I told him about yours, and he was curious like me. He's only been with a few uncut guys."

"You can touch it."

Ben rolled on his back. His cock was still half hard and his tip was covered by the skin again. Ray touched it with his index finger. Sliding his finger up and down the skin. He pulled the skin back and Ben's tip pushed out, getting hard again. "My foreskin is not as long as some men."

"Yes, I recall locker rooms growing up. And my dad had a long one."

Ray softly stroked Ben's cock up and down, causing Ben's glans to shoot out. Ray smiled. "Magical. But every cock has a bit of magic."

Gary was smiling at Ray's curiosity, thinking he was a little boy in a candy store. Ray looked up at Gary, as though he was reading his mind. "I suspect this stunt was your doing, Gary. So, with all due respect, I need to play a bit with yours, too."

Gary laughed. "Have at it, Ray."

"I know you like older guys, Gary. Have you ever been with one in his seventies?"

"Yes, but not as well preserved as you."

Ray was rubbing the shaft of Gary's cock, then touching the precum at the tip. "You guys enjoy each other's cocks?"

"We do, Ray."

"Roll onto your belly, Gary, I'd like to feel your ass, too."

Gary did so, and Ray rubbed across the cheeks, stopping at the crack. "Jack's ass isn't as big as yours. And his is the only one I've ever touched. It's a pleasure to touch a pair of fleshy asses like this. Something special to remember."

Ray knelt on the bed so he could feel both of their asses at the same time. "This has been very nice of you. I'm going back home. You two continue your fun."

"You can stay, Ray," Gary said.

"No, this was enough. If I did anymore I'd probably be drunk with desire."

They watched Ray dress, tucking his hard cock into his shorts, then walk out. Gary smiled as he kissed Ben. "What did you think of that?"

"I think Ray handled that about as tastefully as possible, given he was electrified by our bodies."

"He's a real assman."

"I think he bottoms for Jack most of the time."

"Were we convincing?" Gary asked.

"Convincing enough."

"Do you think he left or is sitting downstairs at our kitchen table? Maybe jacking off."

"I think I heard the door shut. But you could be right. Come here, you frisky prick? I want you now more than before."

They kissed for several minutes, delicious kissing that both of them learned from each other. "Have you been part of three-ways before?" Ben asked.

"Not like that. The few I've done were when I was a guest of an older couple."

"Did you perform as expected?"

"I think so. They asked me back time and again, until I said no."

"Why didn't you continue?'

"I'm much more a one-at-a-time lover. And especially with a man I see over and over. I knew that from the beginning."

"You've never told me about your first."

"The first man wasn't interesting. Completely forgettable. Somebody I met outside a gay bar. I was hanging around the parking lot. I sucked him off and split."

"Tell me about the first good one then."

"I actually met him in that same parking lot. Outside of a place called Leo's.' He saw me trying to solicit middle aged guys, wanting to suck them off. I went up to him and asked if he was interested. He looked at me. You mean here, in the parking lot?' I said, In your car.' He laughed. I'm better than that. You should be, too. I'd drive you over to my place but I don't think you're of age'."

"How old were you?"

"Almost sixteen but I looked a few years older. I was already shaving and kept a few days growth most of the time. My torso was getting hairy. So when I told him I was nineteen, it was believable. He drove me to his house on the west side. Very nice place. He was a bachelor. No wife to worry about. It was only ten and, as they say, the night felt young. He poured himself a drink but never offered me one. He probably knew I was underage, but he kept talking to me, like I was somebody he was going to help out. At least, be a mentor to. We sat in the living room and he handed me a Coke. He said something like, Would you like to talk about an arrangement?' I had no idea what he meant. I'd like to offer you a place to learn about this. I could be your friend. In a nice safe place like this.' He looked at me and smiled. `You might actually be nineteen. Or maybe older. More likely you're younger. But there's something about you. You seem confident'."

"Jesus, weren't you a bit scared? Sounds like he was grooming you with that talk."

"Very nervous at least. It was very ballsy on my part. His part, too. But I had a lot of nerve at an early age. Mostly because Ricky and I were so completely on our own. So I said something pretty outrageous. `I may not know much about this, but I already sense I'm a good lover who can become a great lover'."

Ben laughed. "What an audacious little shit you were with a line like that."

"He laughed just like you are. But he led me up to his bedroom. Big king bed. The first time I'd ever seen a bed that big. Walk in closet. Bathroom and a big shower off the bedroom. This guy had money. He said we needed to shower. He asked me if I wanted to go first. I told him we needed to shower together. I was just making shit up, Ben. Talking through my ass. But I had a certain swagger. The guy smiled. We got undressed without touching each other. Without any clothes on, I could tell he was about fifty, but in good shape. Heavy-set, but not much flab. We showered and he soaped me up and I followed his lead. He was hard as we did so, average sized cock. Uncut like you. Fairly hairy. Of course, I was boned up, hoping I wouldn't shoot a load right in the shower. We stood by the bed and he kissed me and asked, `Will you likely cum right away?' Like he'd been reading my thoughts."

"What did you say?"

"I think I can hold back. If I can't I'll be ready for round two in ten minutes."

Ben was laughing hysterically, and Gary was half laughing as well. "Is this anything like what actually happened?" Ben said.

"Very close. I'm embellishing, but all this happened pretty much like I'm giving it to you. But I was really a punk-assed kid winging it. We kissed standing there for quite a few minutes. Then he said, Let's lie down and cool off.' We did and he had me on my belly, rubbing my back and we talked. I told him my age and that I was interested in an older man like him. But I wasn't going to be victimized. I wanted to be treated as an equal. He stopped rubbing me, but left his hand on my lower back, right above my ass. He said, What do you think of me'?"

Ben was rubbing Gary's back as Gary paused in his story. "Kind of a loaded question," Ben said.

"That's exactly what I told him. That if he was going to misuse me in any way, I'd leave immediately. I had no idea what he was thinking because I was on my belly and he started rubbing my back again. Finally he said, `You might actually be different than the young guys I'm used to. I could have fucked you and sent you off in a taxi with fifty dollars.' I told him I wouldn't do that on a first date. I'd have to know him a lot better. I wanted him to teach me how to kiss a man and touch all the spots where a man loves to be touched. I'd do the same in return. That I was looking for my first affair."

"I still don't know if this is Gary Bullshit Time or if this is real, lover man. But I'm enjoying it."

"I swear, boss. It's really close to what happened. So, I saw him maybe twenty times over the next half year. He traveled for work quite a bit, but when he was around, he'd call me. Our dates progressed from simple stuff like sucking each other off. But he was continually showing me ways to do things more slowly or provocatively. So, I'd be more fun the next time. On the fifth date or so, he told me he'd like us to go to the next step. He wanted me and he wanted me to take him, too. He admitted he was really taken with me and my maturity. I hadn't taken any money from him up to that point other than cab fares. He admired me for that. He gave me a butt plug and said it would help me get ready for him. He told me he'd use a condom and expected me to do the same. And he told me to come cleaned out. I had read about that but had never done it. When it was time, he asked what position I'd like to try. I asked him for his recommendation. He suggested doggy style at first."

Ben had become more and more aroused during Gary's telling of his story. "Looking back, were you ready for anal after those early meetings?"

"As ready as a sixteen-year-old could be. I was still a kid but I really was advanced for my age in some respects. In retrospect, I think it was all the babysitting I did. I was a very responsible young man in many respects. Taking care of myself pretty much all the time. Getting to school and my babysitting gigs. I was very lucky school came easily because I never studied. Ricky was out of school and gone a lot working probably fifty hours a week just before he got his own apartment. Dad had taken off years earlier and Mom was working evenings. It was just me. This guy, in a funny way, also taught me how to be very responsible. About dating and lovemaking."

"What was his name?"

"Arthur. Never Art. He always wanted me to all him Arthur."

"Made up name?"

"Arthur Denning. I saw his mail sitting around the house during those months. He was a lawyer working big political cases."

"How did the first fuck go?"

"Not that great. He still hurt me even though I had prepped for him. And I was a disaster, trying to fit my cock. He said I was bigger than he was used to. But after a few times, we were good. He ended up preferring me fucking him. He had some ED issues. I was always reliable. But it wasn't every time. Like with us. Sometimes we just cuddled and talked and did oral."

"Why did it end?"

"Believe it or not, he fell in love with me. Against his will almost. I didn't feel the same and he could tell. So, he broke it off so he wouldn't get in any deeper. He was smart enough that way. Our second to the last meeting was memorable. We had just agreed to end it. He was actually crying and, damn, that was something new for me. Not only did he love me, but he was willing to end it and then cry about it ending. Occasionally, I stayed overnight with him. And that night, we made crazy love. Sucking and fucking. I probably had four orgasms. He maybe just had two. We hardly slept that night, and he drove me home just before sunrise, but on the way, we stopped at an overlook over Lake Mendota and watched the colors of dawn. A memorable moment in my life. We talked and he told me I was just the second person he had fallen in love with in his fifty years. I asked who was the first? He smiled and said, `I can't talk about that. It's still too sad for me. But he had to leave me and go back to his marriage. But, you, my dear friend, are completely different. I admire you for telling me you don't love me like I do you. To know yourself that well'."

"You saw him one more time?"

"Yeah. Two weeks later. He'd changed. The softness had gone. It was just a quickie. We had stopped using condoms. When we fucked the last time, we were back using them. A bit like we were strangers again. He offered me a thousand dollars as a farewell gift. He could see I didn't have much."

"Did you take it?"

"No. But then he sent it to me in the mail. I used most of it to help Ricky get his first apartment. So I could stay there as much as I needed to. But I kept one of the hundred dollar bills. I still have it."

"But it wasn't a transactional relationship was it?"

"Not at all. The Ben Franklin was just to remember him."

"That was it? Never saw him again?"

"We had lunch a year later. At a restaurant near the capitol. He sort of wanted to meet up again. He was checking to see if I was interested. I wasn't even though I wasn't seeing anyone. He moved to Chicago a few years later. He called me to say goodbye even though we hadn't seen each other in a long time. He said he was taking care of loose ends. I was the last one on the list."

"What a fucking story. Be honest, how much embellishment have you added?"

"Boss, I just wanted to let you know how I got started. I've never been a kept man. Even with him and he wanted me to be. That's why I told him I didn't love him even though I had very strong feelings for him. I knew that's where we were headed."

"So, you did love him?"

"Like a teenager. Full of lust and thinking I did, yeah. But that's not remotely like me loving you. I've learned a few things since then."

Ben pulled him close and kissed him. "Gary, believe it or not. You've taught me a great deal about loving a man."

Gary laughed. "I know, boss. You're kind of like my kept man even though it's your house. Me teaching you what I know."

Ben pinched Gary's nipple. "Ouch. Boss, that was mean," Gary said, laughing as he did.

Ben closed his eyes and said, "Make love to me, daddy."

Gary laughed again. "You can be such a little boy, boss."