Dan and Ben at Fifty-five

Dan and Ben at Fifty-five--Chapter Five By Ezra Randle

Dan didn't want to go to Alta Vista Health Club in the warm May weather, but the persistent rain drove him indoors. As he pushed himself on the elliptical machine, then through fast laps on the indoor track, the clarity of mind he usually achieved from exerting himself like this remained elusive. Instead, he thought about his dad and all that had failed to happen for nearly forty years. Regardless of how much was his mother's fault, and she deserved plenty of blame for hiding the letters from him, he was still more responsible than she was. Maybe not initially, or even during the first ten years. But after that, his sense of feeling abandoned was simply his foolish stubbornness. There were so many moments when he should have reached out. The birth of his two children being the two most obvious ones. The sense of anger over his missed opportunities was reaching a startling level. One that was far more profound than what had happened to him at age seventeen. He walked the track, cooling down for fifteen minutes before heading to the locker room. As he sat on the bench and spun his padlock combination past the correct numbers, he slapped the lock against the metal locker so fiercely that another man down the row glanced at him. He finally opened the locker then paused again, wondering what he could do to restore what he had lost. He had called his father several times over the past few weeks. His father was apologetic as well. But nothing could diminish Dan's shame.

He pulled off his soaked t-shirt, robotically removed his running shoes and shorts and walked to the shower area, stopping at the scale. One hundred ninety-two--maintaining as he'd been doing for the most part. He stood in the empty group shower area and let the hot water pour onto him for many minutes, long past what he needed to get clean, pondering what he could do to restore what he'd lost out on. As he pulled his towel from the rack, the curtain to a private shower stall three-feet to his left slid open and the naked body of Alex Crowe stepped out. Both men paused, and Dan sensed that Alex was as startled as he was at this unlikely meeting. "Alex" was all he could utter as he tried to bring himself out of his thoughts about his father. He half extended his hand, but the gesture seemed out of place at this vulnerable moment. Alex reached for his towel and broke the spell, "How have you been?"

Ascending out of his disorientation, Dan responded. "Busy. Too busy to even wonder if I've been good or not."

"Cryptic answer."

"You?"

Alex laughed. "I could say the same."

The chatting stopped, and Dan furtively glanced at Alex toweling off. Without making it obvious, he glanced at Alex's chest and legs. While Alex was somewhat discreet about revealing his genitals, Dan caught a glimpse of that area as well. He had a dense area of pubic hair which almost enveloped his cock. Perhaps he was a grower. The same could be said about his cock in its flaccid state. He had been wondering what Alex looked like naked ever since Alex had revealed the information about his sexuality. Alex was only five feet, eight inches tall. His chest and belly were lightly covered by blondish hair. Remnants of his bigger belly hung over his waistline.

Dan felt his arms slow down and linger with the towel over his shoulder, but he made no attempt to hide his lower body from Alex. "Have you been coming here often, Alex?"

"As often as I can, which isn't as often as I should. Fighting the demon."

"How's the battle going?"

"I had a family gathering a few weeks ago and put on ten pounds. Getting back to even and staying there is my goal for now."

Alex wrapped his towel around his waist and Dan followed him back to their lockers which were in separate rows. He was at a loss, suddenly paralyzed. Should he speed up and dress quickly so he could catch Alex before he left, or linger making sure Alex did not speak to him in this strange state? As he continued to stand clothed in only his towel, Alex appeared from around the corner, fully dressed, and smiled, "I'll wait for you out in the atrium."

"Be there in a few minutes."

Alex was standing at a window, watching the light rain fall, when Dan approached and pointed out to the wet pavement. "Nice day, huh?"

"Actually, it was a really good day for me. And I was looking forward to being outdoors this evening, but...what can you do?" Alex said.

"You really caught me by surprise in the locker room. Sorry if I seemed off in another world to you."

"Actually, I didn't notice anything. What's happened with your father? I've been thinking about that. It's a fascinating case from purely a clinic perspective. But it could easily be a driving force in a novel," Alex said.

"Quite a bit actually. Long story."

"Would you like to come over to my place and have a beverage? I'm just five minutes away."

"Yeah. That would be great."

He followed Alex and parked in the driveway of an old fashioned ranch style house, covered in brick. The front yard was neatly kept. Alex waved him in through the garage. "Just give me a minute to check my voice mails. I have several clients in precarious situations."

Dan wandered into the living room. Alex made a quick reappearance. "Beer or wine?"

"A beer would be fine."

While Alex retrieved the beer, Dan examined the living room more closely. It was decorated very simply, scattered rugs on maple flooring, several landscape paintings on the white walls, a few photos on the tables, all looking like family. Very distinctly the abode of a single man. But it was all dressed out very tastefully. A loose stack of magazines sat on the coffee table that likely had been sitting there for several weeks, alongside three books all with bookmarks revealing they were readings in progress.

Alex returned and invited him to the back screen porch. "This will be more enjoyable unless it gets chilly."

They sat in comfortable chairs looking at each other. "So, tell me about your dad."

"In one sense, there isn't much to tell you. I've called him eight times. I'm keeping track. Most of the chats were short. One was for ten minutes."

"He must have been surprised."

Dan laughed. "The first call hit him for a loop. He asked me three times to repeat who I was. Like I was a prank caller. Then, he was silent for about a minute. We started talking and I told him about the packet of letters and birthday cards. He seemed stunned. Then he started crying which triggered the same reaction in me. I'd been pretty weepy for quite a few days. Actually since the day we talked at the conference. Out of nowhere, a wave of anger or sadness will hit. Sometimes I have to get up and leave the situation I am in. I apologized to Dad over and over for being so pigheaded, and he did the same for not being more dedicated to reaching out to me. He agreed we've both been fools for letting it go on like this."

"Wow. That's really great. Quite magnificent, in fact."

"We're working on me visiting. Jenny thinks it has to be just me. It's my story. She doesn't want to get in the way."

"Makes sense."

"I asked my brother to come along but it's not a good time for him to get away from work. Dad and I are still working on a date. Maybe in a few weeks I'll fly down. My visit has been the focus of the more recent calls and emails. He has very good friends who have a bigger place in the retirement community. They would love to host me. It seems like they are kind of caretakers for Dad."

"He's in his eighties, right?"

"Turns eight-two next week. His friends are a gay couple. Dad wanted to know if that would be a problem. Because it has been for my brother when he's gone there to visit."

"Is your Dad gay?"

"I have no idea. All I know his partner of many years died a few years ago. I always assumed it was a woman."

"What has your brother told you about his partner?"

"Darren promised he wouldn't say a word about Dad's personal life. Dad wants me to hear it from him directly."

"Interesting. Have you spent much time around gay couples?"

Dan paused and grinned. "Not that much. Maybe you can help me out."

Alex laughed. "I'm not your normal gay man."

"Why do you say that?"

"Mostly because I almost never date. Celibate gay men don't have much to say about a lifestyle."

They sat in the grey afternoon. Dan wanted to tell him about his past. He'd been feeling very impulsive over the past few weeks. Like the filters hiding his secrets were at the factory for a good cleaning and now he could say anything that came to his mind. "What are you thinking, Dan?"

"About my dad?"

"Or anything else."

"I can't get the image of us meeting in the shower room out of my mind. I don't know whether to laugh or something else."

Alex giggled loudly. "It was incredibly amusing."

"I am attracted to you," Dan said.

"Yeah, I like you, too."

"In a different way. Physically," Dan said.

Alex got up, opened the screen door, and emptied the remains of the beer onto the grass. Then he came back and sat closer to Dan on a nearby couch. "Say that again, please."

"I've had some experiences with men. When I saw you in the shower room, my second reaction after the first one of complete surprise was I wanted to look at your naked body."

"Curiosity about seeing someone we know in the buff is pretty natural. Doesn't have to mean more than that."

"I think I know the difference. I just wanted you to know. Actually, I have no idea why I told you what I was thinking. Other than you asked me."

"I'm guessing you pretty much know why you said it. You're a very astute guy. It's kind of an extravagant way to flirt, don't you think?"

Dan smiled. "Yes. Very rude and inappropriate. I've not been myself lately. This is just one more example. But I meant what I said. I saw you naked and was attracted to you. I already knew I like you as a very interesting person. So, it was easy to go to the next step."

"OK. So, what's your idea of the next step?" Alex asked.

"Something like this. You'd be impressed that I was attracted to you. Because you are to me. We'd kiss tenderly."

"I've just found out you are...what, bisexual. That takes some getting used to, Dan."

"Have you thought about being intimate with me?"

"That's not the point."

"It would help me if I knew the answer anyway."

Alex looked at him, then reached out his hand and touched Dan's. "Of course I have. Why wouldn't I? I'm way more love-starved than you. I'm so horny I'm almost beyond getting aroused these days. Plus you are a very, very sexy guy. But that doesn't mean we should do something."

"OK. We can leave it alone. I should get going."

Dan stood up, feeling like a complete fool, and walked to the porch door. "I can go out this way?"

"Sure. The sidewalk loops around to the driveway."

"Nice place, by the way. I meant to tell you that. See you sometime."

Dan sat in his car. He held his key fob but resisted pushing the start button. Several minutes passed. Part of him didn't know where to go next. He thought of Ben and wondered what he was doing on a Saturday afternoon. If he ever thought of their intimate times anymore. He closed his eyes and leaned backward into the headrest. He felt like he was in a daze. Perhaps he fell asleep and minutes elapsed. He was startled to awareness by a knocking at the car window. He looked to his left and Alex stood there waiting for him to lower the window. "Are you OK?"

"Yes. I suddenly felt mixed up, like I wasn't sure where I was. It's happened a few times over the past few weeks. Sorry. I'll get out of here now."

Alex reached his hand to Dan's. "Please come back inside."

"Are you sure? I'm good to go now."

"Please."

They walked to the back porch, Alex leading the way. Just as they were about to go inside, Alex turned to him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "I was quite foolish before. You made an offer I had no business refusing. I've kind of forgotten what it means to be a sexual creature. Not being with a man for so long does that."

Dan kissed him back, and Alex responded with a firmness that revealed his desire. "Must be hard to be a therapist giving into your impulses."

Alex laughed. "O, God, it's such a curse. Don't ever take chances. Constantly thinking how the other guy might react."

Their lips were just a few inches apart. As they kissed deeply this time, Dan took hold of Alex and pulled him into a passionate embrace. The kissing became equally intense. Their tongues touched and they licked each other's lips. "You're a very good kisser, Alex. At least you haven't lost that."

"I am such a fan of kissing. Once I start I feel like I might never stop."

Alex led him down the hallway of the house toward the bedroom. Dan said, "Let me make a pit stop so I can get rid of the beer residue."

Alex waited outside the bathroom. "This way. I want to remember this stage, leading you into my bedroom."

The bedroom was a large one, with a king-sized bed and two large open windows facing the backyard. The dimness of the grey afternoon and the overhang of the dense grouping of oak trees in the back yard left the room feeling like it was close to sunset on a cloudy day. "Nice room. I like the openness."

"It's been years since I had a man here. I almost feel like a beginner."

They kissed again and Dan lifted off Alex's polo shirt. "You saw my pudginess in the flesh. Hope that's OK?"

Dan kissed his nipples, and Alex gasped. "Sensitive?"

"My wife taught me that awareness. It was the most sexual thing she did to me," Alex said.

"They are nice and large."

"I have to be careful about wearing a tight shirt. Unless I want to put myself in the mood."

Dan licked his chest and belly, and they kissed again. Alex took a deep breath, almost

like he was in pain. "Are you OK," Dan asked.

"Yes. Very. Don't stop."

Dan unbuckled the belt to Alex's jeans. Then unfastened them and pulled them down to the floor. Alex stepped out of them. He was wearing traditional styled briefs, green with a blue band. "Did you see my cock in the shower room?"

Dan held his cock through the briefs. "It is much bigger now."

"I am such a grower. In its soft state, it's embarrassingly small."

Dan released the cock and pulled down the briefs. "O my, yes."

It reminded him of Ben's cock. Thick with a very short foreskin. Alex stepped out of his

briefs and said, "My turn."

He pulled Dan's t-shirt off and played with his chest and nipples with his fingers while he

kissed Dan over and over. Dan was wearing sweat pants, and Alex tugged them down easily. Alex gasped. "No underwear. This is like a fantasy. The stranger at the health club completely naked under his trainers."

"I arrived with my workout shorts on under my sweats."

"I peeked at you, too, when we met."

"I noticed. Was happy about that."

Alex pulled the bedding back and they continued their kissing and touching in the bed.

"You're my first in the new bed. Cause for a celebration."

"Did the old bed have bad memories? Or just worn out?"

"Both. It was the one my wife and I slept in. She is a really nice woman. And still is a good friend. Just the wrong gender. She knew before I did. She is very perceptive that way."

"Has she moved on successfully?"

"Very. Two kids and a very nice husband. I'm a godparent to the first."

They alternated conversation with kissing and touching. At one point, while they chatted, Dan held Alex's cock in its flaccid state. Then he kissed and nibbled on Alex's nipples and felt the turgidity rise in the penis. "What an amazing growth. I've only been with a few men, but yours goes from zero to one hundred in a hurry."

Alex laughed. "I can still remember my first moment with my adult cock. I figured I was destined for a tiny organ. One night, I was playing with it, must have been in late seventh grade, and it grew like that. I was so happy. Felt like running up to my father and shouting out, `Dad, I've got one just like yours'."

"Did you see his very often?"

"Not much. He was uncut like me. Much longer foreskin. I didn't understand the dynamics of cut and uncut until much later in life."

Dan kissed him and slid between his legs. He licked his inner thighs. Alex had a surprisingly amount of body hair on his legs, something which aroused Dan. He licked his ball sac over and over and slid his tongue below Alex's balls toward his hole. Alex was moaning. Dan paused. "You like that?"

"More than you know. I sometimes have trouble giving myself over to situation like this."

"Let yourself go with me."

Dan continued to lick all around the pubic area. Alex started writhing in pleasure, and moaned louder, "Don't stop, please don't stop."

By the time Dan's mouth reached Alex's penis, he was leaking gobs of precum. Dan took him deeply and slowly, and passionately began the beautiful rhythm of a man sucking another man. An act so simple and beautiful it was sometimes undervalued. Alex began to shudder a bit and Dan sensed he was getting close. "Let yourself go, Alex." Dan continued until Alex's hands gripped his wrists tightly and he spurted into Dan's mouth, his ass lifting and falling like he was having his first adult orgasm. Dan rose up and kissed him on the lips, the semen exchanging from Dan's mouth to Alex's. Alex was still breathing heavily and holding Dan tightly. "You, OK?"

"Yes, I'll talk in a few minutes. Right now I can't. Just let me hold you."

He thought Alex might fall asleep. But after ten minutes, Alex relaxed his hold and said, "That was spectacular."

"Just an ordinary blow job."

Alex laughed. "Nothing ordinary about it. As I mentioned, I have a very hard time letting go. I'm very controlled. Always feeling like I have to do something more until I cum. And then I often don't. That was actually the tip off for my wife. Why was I holding back? Even after she had orgasmed? I felt I could trust you when you told me to let myself go. And I did for one of the few times in my life. And it was amazing. Rendered me speechless. Thank you."

Alex rolled on his side and Dan moved in closely from behind. "I have to go soon."

"Without finishing?"

"I'd complete things from my end if I thought this might be my only shot. But if I'm coming back, I'll hold on."

"OK, then hold on. I'd be very disappointed if I didn't see you again."

"You sure?"

"Very."

When he returned home, he called Jenny. She couldn't talk. She and her sister were in the middle of a conversation about placing their mother in a nursing facility. He sent an email to Ben wishing him well, expressing an understanding of why they hadn't met in so long. Then he called his father. He answered on the third ring. He told him he'd like to visit in two weekends. Was that time enough to get ready? His Dad said he and his friends had been ready for weeks, and they would get him at the airport. Dan said he'd call back with the details. He went online and booked a flight leaving early on Thursday with a return on Sunday. Long enough to find out if his relationship with his father could be mended, but not so long he'd be a burden. He stretched out on his bed. Images of his time with Alex came quickly. It didn't bother him that he hadn't orgasmed. Getting Alex off and feeling comfort in that process was the essential part. But he'd been very aroused. Alex's body was very different than either Ben's or Leonard's, but very exciting in its difference. Without realizing it, his cock had stiffened and was leaking. He stripped down and played with his nipples and rubbed his ass. His cock was so hard it made him laugh. He teased himself at the tip and down the shaft. It didn't take much until he had gushed all over his belly and chest.