Damnation Part 1: Arrival

This story is a work of fiction. It is not based on any experience, nor is it an attempt to adapt any other work, may they be fictional or not. It is not meant to encourage or discourage any behavior on the part of the reader. It is not meant to depict a realistic situation. The author does not intend this story to be associated with any faith or any spiritual movement.

Damnation

A story for nifty.org by Mark W. Angle

I. Arrival

I died and went to Hell. I don't mean this as some sort of allegory or stylistic emphasis. I mean this as a direct, literal statement. I am dead and in Hell as I write this.

The thing is, I did not get sent to Hell right after I died. I had to make my way there on my own.

1. The Heaven

This story is not about my life. As such, I will leave the events that took place while I was still alive outside of this narration, unless they turn out to be indispensable later on. Those events were rather dull, anyway, except for the inevitable frustrations that come with being alive. Life is messy, and let's leave it at that.

After I died, I materialized in another place. “Materialized” is not quite the right word. First, I had no body, no actual presence. And then I had one. But was not a physical body. It wasn't truly material. It was a sort of body. Around me, there were floors and platforms that looked a bit like clouds. I suppose that's why they're are represented as clouds in so many classical paintings. How the painters got to know about what the afterlife looked like is beyond my understanding. And the the whole thing may just be a coincidence.

There were other people in the heaven. The majority of the populace looked tired and bored. Most of them looked like they slept a lot. Except that they couldn't sleep. They wanted to, but sleeping requires a real body, like all physical pleasures do. They managed to teach themselves to do something similar to sleep. A kind of meditation, I suppose. I never tried it.

As for what they were doing when they were not sleeping, they judged and condemned. They didn't do it in any kind of formal way. They just watched each other's behavior and, as soon as they found fault in anything, they would point it out and denounce it. They made it feel like a serious mark on the other person’s status and character. I didn't see that kind of condemnation very often. I only saw it happen dozen times, maybe. Where I hung out, most of the time, there weren't a lot of other people, so most of these judgement and condemnations took place far away from me. Another reason why I didn't see that many judgements is that most people just couldn’t be bothered to take part in them. There was very little consequence to anything in the heaven. Existence always went on no matter what. It seemed even easier to do nothing than to judge others. Only a few people seemed to find judging others worth the effort. It was, however, the main activity for the few who took part in any activity at all. Still, those moralizers’ rants carried some very small consequences: any action from anyone meant a possible accusation from any onlooker. And there were no places to hide. That's also why people didn't speak with each other much or congregate in any way: anything they said or did might get them on the receiving end of someone else's judgement. It was not dangerous in any way. Just unpleasant.

After noticing the overall mood and permanent anxiety that reigned in that place, I found it best never to speak to anyone. The alternative was to get screamed at by a semi-corporeal, angry being who was taking the part of a self-appointed judge. And scream, they did! I think that they were afraid that if they were not forceful enough, others might try to judge them in return. They always picked on the shiest, weakest beings. Physical strength didn't really exist, but there are other forms of strength. There was no fear either. There were no strong emotions at all. Maybe that was why some of the beings there got so angry: to stir up some sort of meaningful emotion within themselves. But, in the end, people were just avoiding each other in order to avoid unpleasantness.

I don't know how long I stayed there. There is no real time there either. One of the things that come to mind at every attempt I make to remember the heaven is that nobody there seemed to think about Earth. They just couldn't be bothered.

At first, I thought I would have to stay there until the end of time. I thought didn't have a choice. In theory at least, there really was no choice. But I eventually looked for a loophole, an exception, anything that could get me out of there. Even though there was no breathing, and no suffering, I felt as close to suffocating in agony as was possible on that plane. I needed to get out.

I can't explain how I did it. It's not that I don't want to. I just literally cannot. I would need to explain too much about how the whole thing works, and I'm not sure that I understand it that well myself. But I did it. As far as I knew, there were only three options. The heaven was the realm to which I had been assigned; staying there was the first option, the one I was trying to avoid at all cost. When it came to getting out, one possibility was to cease to exist. That one seemed to be the least reversible of all. Still, it was preferable to where I was. The final one was Hell. I escaped to Hell.

2. My Fall

The instant I arrived in Hell, I felt a sudden strike of pain throughout my whole body. I had a body! A real, physical body. I hadn't noticed yet, but it was not the body I had when I was alive. It was bigger, stronger, more fragrant, more flexible, more adaptable. On the other hand, it was less colorful. Not so much white as desaturated. The pain I had felt had come from suddenly having a body. My body itself was in no pain at all. On the contrary, I felt full of energy and passion. My new surroundings made me feel excited, curious, adventurous, ready to explore. Were I not dead, I would have described the sensation as “more alive than ever.” But I wasn't really alive. It was a different kind of energy, a different kind of spontaneity and liveliness.

I looked around me. I didn't immediately understand where I was. I had forgotten about solidity, about things having the ability to be tangible. I was in a tunnel in a place made of red stone. The wall was very irregular and crumbly, like the rugged wall of a cave. But the floor was even. The cave smelled like humid rock. A scent that was wild, raw, savage, natural, fresh. The light seemed to be tainted red. Later I would find out that I could see all colors in that light, so it had to be something else. I should have known when I tried to look at parts of my own body that my appearance was mostly gray, so the ambient light could not be red. The red I saw all around me was the red of the things that surrounded me now.

The next thing I noticed came after a few steps down the tunnel. It struck me in an almost violent way. It was the smell. It was deep and powerful. It was a smell I had known from before, before that endless time in the heaven. And yet, I could not immediately identify it. I eventually realized it was the smell of man. All the parts of a man that had a scent that make another man feel good, that make his mouth water, and that make him twitch his nose, and lean forward to get closer. It's the smell that makes a man lean towards wherever that smell comes from. It was a scent that makes a man feel safe, at ease, warm, loved.

I felt urges mounting inside me. I would sometimes feel a start through my whole body just as a reaction to those urges. It was like a hunger, like a draw. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew I needed to have it as soon as I could.

The tunnel finally ended on a wider area. There was a creature that looked partly human, but not completely. From the back, I could see red skin and what looked like minimal leather garb. There was a harness, armbands, and a belt, but no trousers. Nothing below the belt was covered. The red skin was as smooth as rubber, and shiny.

The creature turned around. I could see its face. Its eyes were almost human, but the colors were off: black pupils on a yellow background. The creature had fangs. All of its teeth were pointy. It looked spectacularly muscular. Every bit of its muscles was defined. Not just that, but the color and texture of its skin made the relief of the muscles even more visible to the naked eye. The creature had a protruded forehead, and a powerful jaw. It looked angry and out for blood . I didn't know that it indeed was, in its own way, out for blood . Had I know then what I know now, would that have made me more scared? More eager? I cannot imagine.

The creature looked around and grunted. It hadn't noticed me. Or if it had, it didn't seem to care. I thought it wise to remain still. But then I noticed how the creature smelled. It was overpowering. It was a smell of man, but it was much more powerful than the overall smell of this place. The way a man can smell after he's exerted himself for a long time. The way a man can smell when he raises his arms and the sweat that comes rolling down from them makes another man lust for him. The creature had its arms down. I didn't know what would happen if it raised them.

Then, it lifted its head and looked straight at me. Either it finally noticed me or it finally cared that I was there.

3. My First Encounter

Anyone would have expected me to run away, to be scared. What would I be scared for? My life? That was gone for good. Scared of pain? Scared of confinement? Maybe. But, fear never came. Instead, I felt calm, good, relaxed. I walked towards the creature , in a slow, even solemn way. I didn't know why and I'm still not sure that I know.

As soon as I was within its reach, it grabbed me. I suddenly realized how much bigger than me it was. Its relaxed penis was wider than my arms, and those were not the thin arms of my Earthy body. They were strong, bulky arms. The creature had grabbed those arms and held them tight. It looked at me. I felt like its gaze could see everything about me: what my thoughts, my desires, my urges were at that moment. I felt a liquid dripping off of my face. That made me realize that I was drooling.

The creature pulled me towards itself and covered my mouth with its own mouth. I felt a rugged tongue rub the entire surface of the inside of my mouth. But it didn't stop there. The tongue then proceeded down my throat, through the part of my throat I used to breathe. Quickly, I thought I was going to die, suffocated. But I didn't. And then, once more, I remembered that I could not die: I was already dead. The new body I now had may have been physical, but it was not limited the way living bodies were.

The creature 's tongue started exploring the inside of my body. I could feel it. The creature 's tongue started exploring my stomach, my intestines. It broke out of my guts and and rubbed my prostate. Every part of my insides it rubbed felt stimulated. I realized that I could not only feel its touch everywhere inside of me, but that its touch raised passions I didn't know I was capable of having. Of course, since my death, I had not actually been capable of having any true passion until my fall. But then, whenever the creature 's tongue made contact with any of my interior organs, the roughness of that touch sent shivers of ecstasy and desire resonate throughout my whole body. I wanted to be able to open myself to it even more, even though it was forcefully invading my flesh.

The creature retrieved its tongue and looked at me, its fanged mouth in front of my regular mouth. Then, I started struggling, more powerfully than I ever had. It knew why I was struggling, and I did too. I didn't want to run away, I wanted to touch it more, rub myself onto it completely. My own urges, however, had taken me by surprise. The creature but its hands on both sides of my face, and holding me strongly, in a complete lock, its claws digging in the skin of my skull, it moved my face to its right nipple . I immediately started to suckle. The way that nipple felt on my lips and mouth was something I'd never known before. I wanted to give my whole being to that sensation, to let the waves of devotion I was feeling take over my whole mind and body. The way I could feel the claws pemetrating my skin made it all even more intense. It knew that I needed to get closer, to feel more of it inside of me. I didn't expect anything to come out of its nipple , but something did. A tiny flow of something hot, burning, enticing, wonderful.

The creature moved my body away and I screamed in despair: I needed more. But it grabbed my head again and placed my face in front of its other nipple . I moaned and fought to get closer. It was holding me away, keeping its nipple just beyond the reach, no matter how far in front of me I tried to stretch them. Once I had stopped struggling, it finally moved me closer and I started to suckle again. I tried to embrace the creature 's body with my arms, but it was too big. It, however, put its arms around me and tightened its grip. At first, it felt the way a tight hug would, but the creature went beyond that. While I was suckling, I realized that my bones were being crushed by its embrace. I didn't care. I was just happy to suckle. When it released me, the only pain I felt was that I wanted it to do that again. My body was broken, and yet it felt good. The creature then held me in such a way that every part of me needed to be aligned. And, suddenly, without realizing how, I was whole again.

Then it lowered me. But I didn't touch the floor. I was sitting on something. I quickly realized that I was sitting astride of its erect penis , stretched foward in front of it, as if it were the branch of a tree between my legs. It looked at me with intent. This time I got scared. It smiled. It rose me again. Its erection became even stronger and its penis was now pointing up. The creature placed its penis at the entrance of my asshole. It smiled, I screamed in fear. The creature pushed its dry penis all the way inside of me. It tore several of my organs as it did this. But immediately, my organs seemed to adapt around it, and get stimulated be its presence. The creature 's penis felt like it reached to the height of my own nipples inside of my body. My wrecked body had become a tight conduit made for it to fuck me. And it did. It pulled me up and pushed me down again. Every time its penis penetrated me, it felt like I was filled with the very essence of masculinity. Every time it pulled its penis out, I would scream because I wanted to be filled with it again. I opened my eyes and I saw it was keeping its eyes closed, apparently savoring the delight it felt in using me that way. I tried to lean forward and kiss it, but I was being moved too quickly, and I must have been too far away anyway. I saw it breath in delight when in pushed my now almost hollow body onto its giant cock . And then it moaned in ecstasy when it pulled me up, the rim of its giant cockhead stimulated by my wide insides. I could feel the head. I could feel the cock . I could feel its veins. I felt blessed and lucky.

Eventually, it just pulled me off of its penis . This time, I didn't have time to scream because it shoved its gigantic erect penis inside my mouth. It tore my throat and broke my jaw. Again, instead of remaining broken, they quickly adapted to their new condition and I found myself being repeatedly penetrated by this giant member. The penis was probably bigger than my head, and yet I was taking it. I couldn't breathe, but by that time I didn't need to. I could taste my own ass. It tasted like raw desire, like a craving for more of that creature 's touch. After a short time of fucking my mouth, the creature pulled me away. I put my hands in front of my mouth to get an idea of the damage that had befallen me. My mouth and face were their usual size and shape again.

The creature shoved me to the floor and I fell in an unexpected position: on my knees, with my butt on my heels, leaning down. The creature then lay on its back in front of me and opened its legs. I saw its own asshole . It was magnificent. It was tight but also huge. A bit darker than the rest of its red skin. And I realized that I was in position to worship it. I crawled to it and shoved my face inside of it its crack. My whole face easily fit between the creature 's asscheeks. It smelled of man, and also of burning wood, somehow. The scent of a forest after a rain, combined with the strong musk of masculinity.

I was lapping and lapping, ready to keep doing it until the end of time. I wanted to shove my whole head inside of it, and to start licking it from the inside. The hole relaxed a bit and I could lick the inside of its rim, but not go much further than that. I could not see the creature 's face, but I could hear it moan and grunt. A few times, it pushed my head further into its ass. Each time it did that, I felt thankful. I thought I was going to need water, but I didn't. I kept having as much spit as I needed. Even though I loved licking that ass, kissing it, rubbing my face on it, what I loved even more is that it made the creature feel good as well. I tried to figure out exactly within what I did what gave the creature the best sensations. Licking the inside of its assrim was a good start. Rubbing my face inside of its hole made it give a grunt of satisfaction.

Eventually, the creature pushed me away with its feet. (I wanted to lick its feet.) It grabbed my head and shoved its cockhead inside of me. Then, I felt a thick liquid flow inside my mouth. It felt like it was liquid fire. It burned all in its path. But in a good way. The burning liquid flew through my body and found its way to my blood . My blood started to burn, to boil. I sobbed, not because of the pain but out of the fear that I might never feel that again.

I thought I was going to pass out, but I didn't. The creature then kissed me again for a long time. The liquid was still dripping out of its penis . I realized it really was as hot as I thought: it made the rocks on which it fell sizzle and melt Then, after an instant, the coolness of the rock turned the lava-like liquid into something like a flat dark stone pebble.

When the creature pulled my face away from its own, it held me so that we were facing each other directly, staring onto each other's eyes, me with my craving for more, and it with its penetrating gaze. Its yellow and black eyes were open, unblinking, right in front of mine. Then it said, in a disturbingly matter-of-fact way, “So you're new here, right?”

4. Perspectives

It lay down and placed me on top of its own body. I started to lick and kiss its skin. I loved its bright red color and smooth rubbery texture. Between kisses, I found the time to ask, “How did you know I was new?” I went back to licking and kissing. It said, “You looked even more in need than most of the other men, and you also looked terrified the whole time, like what we did was actually going to harm you.” That made it smile.

I managed to find the strength to stop licking and said, “What are you?”

It looked surprised. “I'm a demon . What did you think I was?”

Something didn't add up. “Aren't demons supposed to be evil?”

It puts its hand behind its head, exposing two beautiful, muscular, shiny armpits . They were so fragrant that I couldn't resist. I struggled my way towards them. I breathed in on top of them, and the scent was so intoxicating that I thought I was going to lose my balance and fall. It smiled again. “What do you mean, evil? Is what we're doing evil? And if it is, why?” I was listening even though I was also rubbing my whole face in that giant armpit . It went on, “The question is sincere. Why is it evil?” It didn't seem in a hurry to get a response.

The scent of the creature 's armpit penetrated me in a way similar to the way its semen had. I could feel the scent filling my lungs and burning all of my body from the inside, stimulating every part of it as it did. I felt relaxed, mellow, full of tenderness. I had a big, dumb smile across my face as leaned back away front its armpit and I said, “I really don't know. All my life (I mean before I died) I was told that demons were evil and trying to tempt men into doing evil things.”

The creature , looked amused. It didn't convey that feeling through a smile. Its face still had an expression of anger. But I could sense its amusement. Knowing that I had pleased it made me feel like the two of us were close somehow, and that a bond was forming. It pushed my head back into its armpits . I wanted to devote the rest of my existence to it, just be allowed to keep smelling that musky, manly, overpowering scent. It watched, still amused, and said, “Based on what I know, humans don't need help doing evil things. There are always some who will harm the others out of selfishness and greed. I don't claim to understand that, but I don't think it's in my power to stop them, and so I don't. They seem to take revenge on whoever tries to stop them, anyway. I don't worry about that. I am beyond their reach. We all are here. But I'm not going to help an entity that will discard my help and try to take revenge on me for offering it.” It looked at me tenderly, with its fanged mouth and its yellow eyes. I never know that a red fanged creature could look so caring. “I think so far I've made you happy. Haven't I?”

I stretched my arms around it, as far as my arms could go, which was barely reaching around its torso. “What you did right now, if I were still alive it would have killed me. From the very beginning.” It said, still amused, “I would never have done that with a living human. I could show you what I would have done with a living human. You would not enjoy it. It would not be intense enough for you. You need raw, savage experiences. I like that about you. You have lust and passion. I can sense it. It emanates from you. Still, just so you know: I have no interest in or motivation to harm any living human. Or any dead one at that.” It ran its fingers down my asscrack and slipped one inside of me. Its finger was much wider than any human penis could be. It felt good. I wanted to feel more of it in me.

I stretched my lips towards its own. It pushed my head towards its head with its free hand. It put its fanged mouths over my own soft mouth and, once more, it slipped its tongue inside of mine. This time, I tried to let my body open up to it. I was hoping that the creature 's burning tongue would find its way to my penis from the inside. It must have read my mind somehow, because I felt the tongue extending deep inside of me, through my torso, burning its way through. I held the creature 's head closer to me. The rubbery feel of its skin, its manly scent, I wanted to feel all of that on me, in me, all over me. The creature 's tongue continued downward, through my waist. Finally, I felt it slip past my prostate, and enter my penis from inside. I filled my penis, stretching the urethra as wide as a large human penis would. It felt amazing. Then, when it finally peeked out, I felt a sensation, like an ocean of lava running over me, making me pure. I had just come. Even though I had just come, I was still aroused. It took me a moment to get over that first infernal orgasm. I gasped a few times. When I did, I realized that the creature 's tongue was no longer in me. Instead, it was facing the creature , its eyes staring deep into ming, in a fierce, severe way. It held my forearms in its huge hands, keeping me completely immobile.

5. My Wishes

The creature then held me close to it, tight. It was not crushing me. I was a genuine, caring embrace. The way a human would hug a cat or a puppy. Instinctively, I rubbed my face on its chest.

It sat down on the rock next to where we were and cradled me on its lap, gently playing with my hole. It asked, “So, why are you here?”

“I escaped.”

I thought it would be confused, but it seemed to understand. “From what we here, it's pretty bad over there. Still, that's where most people want to go. I don't try to understand why. What do you want to do now that you're here?”

“I get to pick?”

It looked surprised, and, once more, amused. “There are no rules. Didn't you want to spend that time with me just then?”

“Well, yes.” I was a bit embarrassed by the obvious nature of the situation. I was drawn to it and loved every moment of my time with it. I was hoping we could stay together forever.

It went on, “You can walk away now, if you want. If that's what you mean by ‘picking,‘ you can pick. And if you do walk away, you can always come back if we run into each other again.”

“Would you mind if I walked away?”

“I like having you around. Still, it might be good for you to enjoy more demons. I think we have more to offer you than you suspect. But my overall impression is that even if you leave, you will end up coming back. I think you liked being with me too. I felt true devotion in the way you liked my hole and when you rubbed your face in my armpit . It felt like true worship, like burning love. Even here, that's not very easy to find.”

Then, I thought of a question that embarrassed me even more than the others. I mumbled, “Does Satan exist?”

“Who?”

The fact that I had to explain Satan to a demon came as surprise. “The ruler of Hell. Is there a ruler of Hell?”

“Yes, there is.”

“What's his name?”

“I don't think you can hear or understand the names we use for each other. We're supposed to know some of the names humans call us, but I never got round to learning them. If you tell me that our ruler's name is Satan to you, you can call him that.”

“So you don't have a name I can learn?”

He said, “This is my name”

He made a sound that seemed both like an articulate and an impossible sound to me. It flew within the language we were speaking as if it were a part of it, but at the same time, it felt like it was from a species other than ours.

Calmly, he said, “You don't understand it. I didn't think you would. You can give me a name that's easier for you, if that would help.”

“Wouldn't you mind you mind??”

Once more, the demon looked confused. “Why would I mind? And if I did mind, why would I have offered? Have I run only into unusually straightforward humans until now, or are you a particularly puzzling one?”

“I may be more curious than most. Do you meet many humans?”

“I go find humans sometimes. I can show you how later if you want. I think some of them give us names. I don't really pay attention to that.”

The idea of being in the company of humans again seemed rather bland in comparison to what I'd seen in Hell so far. But if that demon went there, there must be a reason. Based on what I had recently found out, it was probably an experience in which I wouldn't mind being involved.

It also became clear that I would need names I could understand to figure out my away around Hell. I hadn't seen another demon yet. What if they all looked alike? What if they didn't look alike to each other, but they all looked alike to me? It seemed wise to seize upon the demon 's offer to name him.

“How about I call you Asmodeus?” I asked.

“Does it mean anything?”

“In our stories, it's the demon of lust.”

“He must be popular.”

This time, I was the one who was amused. “You don't know much about how human society works, do you?”

“I don't. It's often both bland and complicated. It's not a combination that usually provokes much curiosity.”

“I suppose that the ruler of Hell won't mind it if I refer to him as Satan, will he?”

Asmodeus calmly answered, “I don't see why he would. You can even refer to him as Satan when you talk to other demons . They will understand.”

I was amazed. “Really?”

“Aren't you impressed that I knew you wouldn't know that? I'm beginning to understand how your twisted mind works, now. A bit, at least.”

He hadn't asked me my own name. I assumed, it was not something he would need to do. I suddenly realized that I didn't remember my own name anyway. Or not very well. It had started to seem unimportant.

“So could I... Do you think it would ever be possible to meet Satan?”

“Yes.”

“That's it? Yes? No conditions, rules, trials?”

“No conditions, no rules, no trials. There might be some waiting, though. You're not the only one who wants so see him. Will you want him to fuck you?”

I was astonished. I never would have dared to ask. Nor was I ready to admit that I absolutely did want that. But that idea had already been spoken out loud, so I mumbled, “Yes. I think I would like that.”

“I think you would. Most men and most demons do. However...”

There was a catch! I knew there was a catch! There's always a catch!

He went on, “It would be a lot faster if you agreed to a meeting along with other demons . And keep in mind that if you meet him when there are other demons around, it's possible that they will all fuck you together. Do you think you would enjoy that?”

I considered how safe that was, but if my time with Asmodeus had taught me anything, it was that I was in no danger here, no matter what I did and no matter what was done to me. Every interaction with him felt wonderful, even the way I was now, sitting on his lap, rubbing my face on his chest, with his finger toying with my hole. I had no reason to believe it would take place in any other way with Satan and the other demons present whom I assumed were his minion. And, even if it was, I was stuck here anyway.

So I said, “I don't mind if there are other demons there. I don't mind at all.”

Then, Asmodeues asked, “Would you mind if I was one of them?”

If you are interested in finding out what happens next, you can email me at markwangle@proton.me . In part 2, the narrator will visit the world of the living for a short time. Part 2 is called, “The Faithful.”