Damn Stupid Love

By Hut Panda

Published on Feb 28, 2012

Gay

Hello Everyone! This chapter will be longer than usual, hope you like it. I will also start updating once a week, most likely on saturdays or sundays. Its me trying to be more organize.

IMPORTANT!!!! PLEASE HELP!

I would like you to tell me how do you imagine the characters, also if you want to tell me something, an idea ,whatever ,feel free to email me. The best character (pics or names) will be posted and define as the look of the character! Please feedback is the only thing I ask to keep writing :-)

Also I am terribly embarassed because in your emails (which I love with all my heart) you tell me that my grammar is terrible! I know it's true I'm glad you tell me. I'm looking for an editor :) If you want to or know someone that wants to do it, please tell me , Thanks and Enjoy:)


Alex's POV

"Open the door!" He kept banging on my door like a beast. I just put my ear phones on and turn the volume as high as it let me.

"Please, Let's just talk" I rolled my eyes. He behave like an asshole. I hated that. He shouldn't have been so rude. He called me a... man whore? I don't know really, all I know is that it was out of place. Stupid Rob and Stupid Timing.

"I'm sorry ok, just let me in so we can talk" I remained quiet and just heard footsteps walking away. I sighed in relief. But then a loud bang was heard and my door was threw against the wall and Rob was trying to stay still.

"What have you done? Are You alright?" He walked to the bed.

"I got in" He smiled and fell on the bed unconsious. He hit his head pretty hard. It was obvious that he was light head. I took the aid kit and rolled him over. He had his eyes close. I put some bandages on her forehead. He had a deep cut and I put them so the bleeding would stop. I let him sleep, cause he wouldn't be awake for a while. The door was broken. I would have to call someone to repair it. Did he really had to do that?

Matt's POV

I drove to the park with the radion on. I wasn't listening but I needed the noise. My head was full with thoughts. Was I going to win? Was she going to ask for more money? I parked on an empty spot I found and walked to the playground area. I left my hands on the inside of my pockets. It was cold and I the park was empty.

"You are late" She said annoyed. I ignored the `welcoming' greeting and took the money from my pocket.

"At least this time you bring me a reasonable amount" I wanted to punch her. She had this annoying smirk on her face, possible due to the fact that she controlled me now. I was afraid of her aborting the baby, she threatened me to do it if I didn't gave her money. We made a deal. I give her money for food and baby things but she has to give me the tickets. Because if not, she was probably going to use it for drugs or buzz. I just wanted to get out of there.

"There's only six months left" I nodded and she rolled her eyes.

"You promise me you'll keep her" I nodded again and it seemed that annoyed her more.

"If you are lying and I have to keep this fucking piece of sh..." I slapped her. She fell to the ground. Her eyes had fear. Something overtook, I...I... had never hit a woman before. She rose from the ground and stare at me. She was completely scared.

"I'll call you when I get something else" She nodded quickly and I left. I couldn't believe I hit a woman. That's not...sane. My mom used to tell Rob and me that a man that hits a woman isn't longer a man. I felt horrible. But maybe she deserved it.

I parked on my driveway and jumped out of my truck. Rob's car was parked there too. It seemed weird since I thought he was at Mark's. I took my keys and opened the front door.

There in the living room sat Rob with an ice pack on his head and Alex searching through the channels. I smiled when I saw him. He seemed lost in thought. With all this baby thing I haven't been able to really talk to him.

"Hey!" He turned around and smile.

"Matt!" He walked to me and hugged me. I inhaled his scent. It was my drug. I smiled and hugged him tighter. "We haven't seen each other in like forever!" He said and led me to the living room. Rob had an annoyed face maybe because he was hurt and had an ice pack on his head. I think this will be an interesting story to listen to.

Rob's POV

"And he literally broke through the door!" Butters said excited. I smiled. He acted like a little kid in Christmas morning. I groaned at the pain that built on my back and head. A simple move and it hurt like hell.

"Are you ok?" I nodded and closed my eyes. I was tired. No everyday you break through a door. I watched as Alex's explanation was told with excitement. But I noticed something weird. Alex's expression changed when he said something, but Matt's eyes alwats kept this goofy look and a goofy smile. He had this goofy smile when Alex was near him. Well, they're best friend, what I can expect.

"Yeah Yeah, Now let's talk about something else" I said calming them down. Alex took a breath from all the talking and nodded.

We watch TV all day. Eventually, Mark joined us because he notice Alex's Absence. We joked around and talked about things. Mark seemed distant. I decided I had to talk to him.

"Hey Man, I have to ask you something" Matt and Alex went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat, because Matt was hungry. We walked outside and he inmediately sighed.

"Is this going to repeat again?" I knew what he was talking about.

"I promise you I won't hurt him" He was frustrated. Alex had told him about our date. He played it cool but he was screaming inside.

"I know you don't want to hurt him, but eventually you will" I was confused. "I'm sorry man, it's just that between you and my mom pushing me with the fucking thing about Alex..." He shut his mouth. "What Alex thing?" I asked him. He ignored my question and kept pacing back and forth.

"Mark I asked you what Alex thing?" He sighed and put his hands on his face.

"My Mom wants him to move with her in Christmas, she wants him in New York" The air was tense. I couldn't bare to loose my Alex, not now that Cartiano left and that I was having my chance.

"You...You won't let her do that right...right" He was as frustrated as me. The silence was killing me.

"I can't do anything, She is his mom, I'm just the brother" I got mad.

"But you are legally an adult! You can't let her do it, it's the last time we have around Alex, and you know your mom" I took a breath, "If she takes him, neither you or me will see him again" it was true. Alex's Mom was a strict woman. She loved perfection. And she used to say many times that if Alex lived with her, she would never let him go. He was the only thing she loved right now, aside from Mark. His mom was a good woman, but her work had made her cold and selfish in many ways. I remember that Alex used to cry some times, because she was too harsh on him. Mark was like his father, he always cared for Alex, and did what their mom failed to do.

"I am doing all I can, but I don't know if that will be enough" I groaned and walked inside. I was getting mad.

Cole's POV

"Hey there" I was having a drink in one of the nightclub's I currently went to. Truth is I had my mind crowded. Crowded with only one person, a boy to be exact.

"Hello George" I said to my childhood friend. George was the owner of one of the best nightclubs in town. He had been my friend since elementary school and we had helped each other on everything. He was in other ways, the only family I had left that actually cared about me.

"Are you thinking about that boy again right?" He let out a chuckle. I wasn't in the mood. "You know that boy is really wanted by a few guys" I gave him a strange look.

"What's your point?" George ordered a drink and sat on the stool next to me.

"It won't be easy, are you sure you want this boy?" I nodded quickly.

"He's just not a boy, maybe he is just what I need and I am not a guy, I'm a man, something he needs" I took a sip of my drink and sighed. "He doesn't seems like boy to me" He chuckled.

"But for the rest of the world,including him, he is" George always said things that made me think.

"It only took one night to fall hopelessly in love with him" He rolled his eyes.

"Here we go again" He took my drink away, "I need you sober to talk about this" He drank all my drink in one gulp. "What about your mother, your father?" I rolled my eyes. I hated those people. " What about their plans?" I was getting angry.

"I don't give a damn about those people, I'm supposed to be their son, no their slave!" Just thinking about them made me mad, "It's my life, not theirs"

"I know my friend, but it's them you have to tell, not me" I sighed. I had tried so many times to tell my parents, but I couldn't. I couldn't let the proud leave their faces. They were so proud of their `perfect' son. I wasn't perfect, not even close.

"Don't drag this poor kid all the way to break his heart at the end, he doesn't deserve it, nobody does" He left my side and walked away. He was right, but my heart wouldn't let go. I would do my best. I was, just maybe, finally in love.

Alex's POV

"So I have come to a conclusion" Matt's room was large. I remember all the sleep overs and saturday afternoons I spent in here. It was decorated with some posters of music bands and it had a desk. As I said before, Matt is really smart. So he has a huge book shelf full of all the books you could imagine. He says he has read them all, but I'm not really sure about that.

"About what?" He asked with a confused face. I had an evil smile on mine, so he seemed nervous.

"You have a secret girlfriend" He literally gave me a what the fuck face.

Matt's POV

"What the fuck?" Alex just laughed and I was just standing there shocked. Alex had just told me that I had a secret relationship?

"Yep, that's why you have been distant and missing" He wore a sad look at the last part. He sat closer to me and hugged me. His small frame barely made any force on my big one, but it felt so good. I hugged him back and didn't want to let go. This felt so...right.

"I..." He stared at me and hugged me again.

"Even though you are in love with someone" He whispered in my ear, "You'll be always my best friend and you can count me whenever you need me" He smiled.

"I..." I couldn't stop it. I started laughing so hard I was rolling in the floor. His face was so sincere but this misunderstood was so funny. He wore a confused look. I mean, I was laughing on the floor after he poured his heart out to me.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I am not having a secret relationship" He blushed a hundred tones of red. He was so embarassed. He looked so cute. I hugged him again as an excuse to be near him. I could see his blush that his face wore. He's just perfect.

Rob's POV

I walked back into the living room and they weren't there. I decide to check on the kitchen, but no luck. I went upstairs to Matt's room and found them. I was kind of shocked when I saw Matt hugging Alex. He wore a blush on his face as Matt embraced him. I couldn't help but feel jelous. He doesn't hugs me like he hugs him.

"Hey Butters, can we talk?" My tone was harsh and a bit rude, but I was just angry at what Mark told me and about Matt hugging my Alex. He nodded and Matt just sighed deeply.

We walked to my room and I closed the door. I sighed and he just stood awkwardly in the front door. I patted the spot next to me on the bed and he walked closer and sat. I was nervous. I knew he was still a little mad about what I had said earlier.

"I'm really sorry for calling you a whore" He stared at me for a few seconds then went back to staring at the floor.

"Rob..." I knew it wasn't enough.

"Please, just hear this," He nodded and looked into my eyes, "I love you Alex, You don't know how much I love you" He looked to the floor again but this time I took his face in my hands and made him look at me.

"I need you to look at me to know it's truth that's in my eyes" He nodded. "I love you more than myself"

"Rob, please you don't need to..." I held his face and gaze.

"Yes, I do it's true. I love you Alex, more than anything in the world, and it hurts me to see you in pain. I feel your pain when you cry. I get jealous when other guys look at you, but it's because I love you" I took his face in my hands and kissed him. I kissed him with as much love I could. When he kissed me back I lost it. I hold him and placed him on my lap still kissing him. There was love in the kiss. I could feel his heart beating so fast, and it was because of me. I smiled in the kiss. The heartbeat continue and I realized then he still loves me.

Alex's POV

I woke up and looked around me. It wasn't my room, but I recognized it. I felt warmth. My head was resting on his chest. I smiled. Mark opened his eyes and smiled down at me. His room was full of posters of bands and pictures of us and mom.

"You feel better now?" He asked me. I nodded and he stood up making everything feel cold again. After Rob had kissed me and I had kissed him back, I got scared. I thought about Drew. About the pain. The pain my heart was still living. I broke the kiss and ran away. I just heard him call my name over and over again, but I just ran. Mark catched up with me later and I told him about it. I fell asleep on his bed. I loved my brother, and with everyday I think our brother bond grows.

I hate the fact that Drew is still in my heart. I know he doesn't love me anymore, but how can I move on when my heart doesn't get it. I sighed and walked to my room. I decided to call Li and tell her about what happened. After a little bit of chatting she agreed to go to the diner we always went to.

The walk to the diner was full of questions my mind was asking.

Why did Drew said that to me?

Was Rob going to hurt me if I let him?

What's going on with Matt?

Why was Mark so stressed this days?

I was really getting worry about Mark specially. He seemed to discuss a lot on the phone and he was just too tired and sad sometimes. He is just an eighteen-year old, why was he so stressed? I let it all drift away as I entered the diner and saw Li sitting in one of the boths.

"Hey" I said and she instanly hugged me. I needed that, I admit. After a few seconds we sat down and we ordered our drinks.

"How are you?" Her voice was full of concern and worry. I felt bad for making her feel like this, she has her own life to deal with.

"I'm fine it's just," I sighed, "Why can't I move on?" She rubbed my arm in a motherly way. Li was more of a mother than my own, which hasn't appear in a while.

"It's because you dont' believe it yet" I knew it was right. Part of me hoped that he was just kidding and he would call me again and say he love me.

"Everything happens for a reason Lex" I nodded and she gave me a sad smile.

"I just want to know why, I mean we were so good when he left and suddenly he calls me and tells me he met someone" I took a breath to relax myself, "It seemed to me that he was lying" I said slowly. Li's hand was still caressing my arms and it was soothing me.

"Lex, I didn't want to say this, but since I knew that Drew would left, I just thought that it wouldn't work for both of you" I understood that, I was too stupid to believe it wouldn't be that way. "Long distance relationships don't really workout because you need to feel the love of that person, not just hearing it from the phone or seeing it through a webcam, maybe you just need to give yourself a chance" She was right. If Drew had someone right now, maybe I should try to date. Yeah right! Like if it was so damn easy!

"I think you might be right!" She smiled took a sip of her drink. "Well let's see who's in the list" I laughed. I remember shortly after Drew left, Li had made this stupid list of the guys I could date. Obviously, we put some stupid celebrity names. But there were only three names in the list that I knew personally.

First was Rob, obviously. He and I had so much history. I knew he had strong feelings for me and a part of me said, come on, he is the one! But I was unsure about loving him or wanting to be with him. He was this big macho jock that seemed so nice around me but cocky and tough at school. I don't want someone being in a way around me but when we are with his friends treats me like different. I don't want a two personalities guy. I am supposed to date only one, not two.

Then was Cole. The mysterious guy I met. He was older than me but maybe what I needed was someone mature. A man, not a guy. He was sure handsome and hot, but I was looking more on his personality. Sweet, caring and nice. I could see myself with him.

And last, Li had put...Matt?

"Li, Matt?" I just couldn't stop it and started laughing. Matt was like my brother and I was sure he was seeing someone right now, probably some girl from school.

"You never know" She said that with in a weird way. Like if she was talking about something that was real. I knew Matt was just my best friend and straight. I just let it go and we continued chatting.

"So tell me, what about you? Are you getting any?" Her eyes wide and I laughed.

"Alex, I'm not like that" she made a funny face, "But I'm seeing someone actually" I was now interested.

"Spill! Now" She giggled and sigh dreamly.

"It's Simon" I wasn't expecting that. Simon as...

"Drew's friend?" She nodded and I smiled.

"That's great Li! But why haven't you told me?"

"He just asked me and I was going to tell you, then you call for us to meet and well that's all" I smiled and went to hug her. I was so happy that Li had someone. Simon was a great guy and really funny, that's what Li needs, to laugh more and with Simon she will.

"He is so nice and sweet" I laughed at my friend.

"What?" She pretended to be mad.

"Remember when you said you weren't stupid enough to fall in love" She laughed at the memory.

"Guess love was smart enough to make me fall" I hugged her again and we laughed.

"I'm so glad you finally found someone Li" She smiled. Anyone could tell she was in love.

"But, What about that George guy?" She rolled her eyes.

"He is still a kid, all he cares about is his nightclub and social stuff. I don't want someone like that, so boring" I laughed at her way of expressing about George.

"Seems legit to me!" She giggled.

That day consisted on me and Li. It was great to be with my best friend again, like old times.

----- I walked back home from the park. Li and I were just enjoying the sunny day and we lost track of time. It was already dark and I was sure Mark wanted me home. When I reached my house, someone was sitting on my porch. At first I thought it was Mark, but I found out it was Rob instead. I was about to walk away when he noticed me.

"Hey Alex, I...We have to talk" He came to me and held my hand. " I love you, I want you" He said too quick.

"Rob" He put a finger on my lips.

"Let me talk, I don't want you to kiss me back and then regret it, I don't want you to be afraid of me hurting you because I won't" His gaze held mine.

"How do you know you won't hurt me, maybe you don't want to but what if you do?" He remained silent.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He asked.

"Excuse me, What exactly am I doing to you?" He was talking to me like if I was the one hurting him.

"You go around with all the guys and be so nice to them, but when it comes to me, you are a jerk" Ok that was out of place.

"Oh Sory Roberto! But what does nice means?" He let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Come on! " His voice was getting louder, "I bet you have already sleep with all of them, but no let's tease Rob and make him miserable!" I couldn't hear him out anymore. He was obviously angry but I wasn't going to put with his shit.

"Oh yeah right, the guy that has fuck every girl in school is calling me a slut" I was getting angry too.

"Indeed I am, let's face it Alex, you behave like a total..." I punched him in the jaw. It wasn't that hard since I was short and skinny, the more it could do was leave a purple spot but maybe just for a day or two. What did he thought I was? A weak guy that will just beg and cry.

But what he did was not what I expected. Rob touch his jaw and looked at me. There was rage in his eyes. I tried to back off a little but his fist caught with me. He hit me under my right eye. He was so much stronger than me, so the punch was really painful. I fell to the ground painfully holding my eye. His face turned from anger to regret.

"Alex, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over..." It was enough.

"Stop it Roberto, I am full of your stupid shit" Yeah, I didn't swore a lot but when I did, it was a lot. " I don't want to fucking see your asshole persona around me, fuck you!" I stood up and walked to open the door.

"How's "I'm not going to hurt you" working for you?" I slammed the door and cried. I was holding my emotions so much that I couldn't keep the tears from falling. I was weak. I heard the engine of his car roar and then he was gone. The tears kept falling over and over. After a few minutes I decided I needed to go to my room, if I stood here, Mark would find me. I walked to my room and plopped myself on the bed. My eyes hurt and there was going to be a big purple spot right under it. I texted Li and told her I needed her to come to my house in the morning. I needed to cover the bruise and she had some thing to cover bruises and marks. She agreed and I told her we will talk about it tomorrow morning. I couldn't sleep that night. It was too painful to remember what happened.


"Don't worry, there's not trace left" I smiled. A sad smile. I had told her what happened and she was mad.

"It was my fault Li, I punched him first" I did a lot of thinking last night and that may have been the reason.

"No Lex, he deserved it after saying the things he said" Li held me in her arms. It was comforting in a way.

"I..." I broke down and cried. Li held me tightly and told me everything was going to be fine.

"I know Rob loves you so much, but if this is how he shows it" she looked to my bruise below my eye. "Maybe he isn't worth it"

"I know he loves me, but... how do I know if I love him too?" Li sighed.

"What do you insist on loving him?" She was a little upset.

"Becuse my heart hasn't give up"

Matt's POV

I was waiting on the school for my two best friends to arrive. I had a lot in mind. There was Alex, Li and the baby. I saw my friends coming to my locker and I put on a smile. They were the reason why I was still living.

"Hey" I said but noticed something strange.

"Hi" They both said.

"Alex, what happened to your..." I took his face against his will. There was a little purple spot under his eyes, but it was weird.

"Nothing I just hit myself with something at home, clumsy me!" He faked a laugh. Li laughed nervously too and I looked closer. I rubbed the skin with my finger and he flinched. I looked at my finger and found...makeup?

"Alex..." He looked down, but I made him look up.

"It was an accident I swear" He seemed worried. I knew right away what he was talking about and about who.

"That mother..."He took my hand but I shook it off.

"It was my fault, I hit him first, please stop" I shook my head again.

"Why you let him, Alex? Why do you let him hurt you?" I asked him. He just looked down.

"He is going to pay" I walked furiously to the place where I knew I could find him. The field. Alex was pulling from my arm but I was stronger.

I saw him. The asshole was flirting with some stupid freshman girls. I looked at his face, so disgusting.

"And then I said, no there's no fucking way you are going to get away!" The freshmans giggled and I lost it.

"You motherfucker!" I punched him with all my strenght. All those years. All those times I wanted to hurt him, all based on now. I felt so good.

"What the..." He spit blood on the ground, the girls screamed and ran away.

"Listen good punk, if you ever lay hands on my Alex again, you will regret it so bad, when you are in your hospital bed without being able to move or do anything pathetic excuse of a man!" It was all so fast and I knew he was ready to fight. But I was even more ready, All this years of holding the rage and anger towards him. Finally I got my chance. He was going to get it. He spit the remaining blood on his mouth and prepared to fight. I smirked. I just had three words for him.

"Bring it on" I smirk and launched at him, this was going to get messy.


So sorry for the delay again! Please if you didn't read the author's note all the way up, please do it. I need your help! Thanks and hope you enjoyed it next chapter, will be Drew's perspective! Also leave ideas and suggestions. Feedback is the only thing i ask for writing this, and heck is free! There's no better deal

Next: Chapter 10


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