Christmas Lights Part 2
"A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one" - Guy de Maupassant
"Drew?" Drew was standing in front of me. His hair was a little shorter than the last time I had seen him. He had grown had clearly been working out. The Drew Cartiano in my memories was younger, more innocent. Now, he was almost unrecognizable, not the boy I fell in love with. There were traces of his old features, but now he looked so grown up. How can someone have changed that much? He was standing there with his charming smile, with no care in the world.
"Yes" God, that smirk of his just drives me nuts, and he knew it. He was about to kiss me again but I turned my head and stepped back, keeping him at arm's length with a lingering hand.
"Wait, Wait" I kept my hands on his chest, "This can't be true, you should be in Italy and you told me you didn't..."
"I came back for you" He leaned in to kiss me again but I pushed him once again.
"You told me you didn't love me" I backed off a little more, "You said it, remember?"
"I can explain my love, I was forced to..."
"How could you say you were forced? I mean, you were the one who said this wouldn't break our relationship, and it did, please explain yourself Drew" The fact that Drew was back and that he wanted me to just go back to normal disorientated me. He was the one that broke up with me.
"My grandfather didn't approve of me loving a boy, he was going to throw us out to the streets, I needed to do something" I closed my eyes to keep the tears from coming.
"You could have told me, what happened with no secrets?" He reached his hand to touch me, but I stepped out of reach.
"Please Alex, believe me when I say I love you more than anything in this world" His voice sounded desperate and I was about to give in.
Cole!
"I can't, there's somebody else" He stared at my eyes. God, I couldn't take my eyes off him, his gaze was so hypnotizing.
"Roberto is not good for you, remember all the..." I cut him off.
"It's not him, and I think you should leave" His face was full of sadness, and his eyes showed regret. I wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him, but I knew I couldn't, he hurt me and I needed to let him go.
"I will, but don't expect me to give up" He kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek. "You are one in a million, I won't let you go"
"Merry Christmas Drew" He gave me a sad smile. He got into his car and waved. I just stared at him. I didn't want to, but I did. I cried. I desperately brushed the tears off, but there were so many. Why now? When I was finally happy, this had to happen. I just cried and cried. I wished the pain would just go away.
"Are you alright?" I quickly wiped the tears off and turned around. Rob was standing in the porch next to me. He was wearing black pants and black coat, but his belt was golden. He had a concerned look on his face. That's when I realize how much I miss him.
"Yes" I whispered.
"You are not okay Lex" I just turned my back to him, so he couldn't see the tears. "There's no need to lie, I know you more than anyone else in this world"
"It's nothing really, I will be fine" I just swung myself on to the old hammock. I felt his weight on the other side of the hammock. He put his arm around me and I frowned.
"I miss you" His breath was on my ear. He had whispered something I was dying to hear since we had that fight, since we stopped talking to each other.
"I..."
"I miss your love, I miss your lips, I miss your eyes, I miss you" I was about to cry again but I remained serious and with no emotion.
"Rob..." He put his finger on my lips, and that's when I noticed he was sobbing.
"But you know what I miss the most?" He held my chin and turned my head to him. "I miss you being mine and I being yours" He kissed my lips. It was tender and sad. I felt the spark only Rob had. The taste of love and tenderness. I tasted his love for me.
"Rob..." The kiss had left me speechless. I could only whisper his name after it. I was trying to get away but my heart was telling me to get closer.
"I know" He said, "But, can he love you as much as I do?" A tear escaped my eyes. He was hurting me by making me remember that I love him.
"I hope he can, cause I don't want to get hurt again" He looked down.
"I know I've made mistakes, but I love you more than anything in this world, doesn't that count?" His voice was a little more between desperate and angry.
"Yes, it does, but it's not about saying it, it's about showing it"
"You are making this more complicated than it is" He raised his voice and a few tears of anger were escaping his eyes, his beautiful eyes.
"Am I the one hurting you?" His gaze was intense, it was pleading. Begging me to kiss him and love him.
"Yes, you might not notice, because that old guy you are dating distracts you from the real world, but you do, you hurt me every time you kiss him, or when you hold hands it breaks my heart."
"I'm sorry if me being happy hurts you"
"I want nothing more than you being happy, it just hurts me knowing that it should be me making you happy." He wiped his tears roughly from his eyes.
"Crying doesn't make you weak"
"No, but it makes me vulnerable when I cry around you" I wiped his tears gently. I was literally sitting on him. He got closer every time he said something. I put my head on his chest and he ran his hand gently through my hair.
"Rob, you know I'm happy right now, and it would make me happier if we were friends again" He chuckled.
"You can't get the idea of us being just friends out of your head, can you?" I smiled. I notice he emphasized the word 'just'.
"I want you in my life, I care a lot about you" He sighed. I knew he wanted me to say something else.
"I'll try, but promise me something"
"Depends..." He caressed my cheek.
"Always Remember I'm the right guy" I laughed. He smiled at me and I decided it was time to go back to the party.
"Hey, wait you are missing something" He pointed to his cheek. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Come on, a friendly kiss on the cheek" He pouted.
"You know no kiss between us is friendly" He smirked.
"A kiss has the meaning you want to give it, so now I know what you want Mr. Hayes" I blushed.
"Whatever you say Roberto" He pushed me gently. I laughed and pushed him back.
"Wow, is someone getting stronger?" I let out a sarcastic laugh and punched him on the shoulder.
"Nope, it was my imagination" I rolled my eyes and he hugged my waist.
"Friendly Waist Hug" He winked.
"You are hopeless" I said laughing.
"And you are so beautiful" He wasn't laughing though. Gosh, why did he have to make this so hard? I was finally settling down with someone I love and here he comes again, being all nice and sweet, and then there's Drew, who came back for me. I just ignored him and we entered the house. Smiling to myself mulling over what he said.
"Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere" Matt seemed excited. I smile to him.
"Well, I'm here, what's up?" He was bouncing like a little kid.
"I got tickets to the fair!" I laughed. Gosh, Matt could be so clumsy sometimes.
"I thought you'd won the lottery!" He rolled his eyes playfully at me.
"You know I love fairs, so don't give me that look" It was true. Matt loved fairs. I remember he used to be afraid to ride the little attractions, but when he did, he loved them. Now every time a fair comes to town he makes me go. They're pretty fun, besides Matt is funny when he is at these things.
"Sure, I think we can go when the Christmas noise is over" He gave me the biggest smile and hugged me, same old Matt.
I kept talking to Matt for a while. Mom told us that dinner was ready. It was a huge table, where all the guests sat and ate the traditional Christmas dinner. It was now a quarter to midnight. I decided I should call Cole. I excused myself from the table, not that anyone really noticed, and left. I walked to the garden. There was no noise. I could feel the chilly air and the sky was full of stars.
"Hello?" A woman said through the phone.
"Hi, Is Cole there?" I didn't have any idea why she answered his phone.
"Cole?" The woman seemed to be a little drunk. She talked a little bit too quickly and then slow again.
"Ryan" I said. I smiled as I remember I'm the only one that calls him Cole.
"Oh, yes, wait" I heard some sound on the other end. There was a 'Darling you have a call', I bet it was one of his crazy aunts.
"Hello?" I smiled at his voice.
"Hey there" There was a pause.
"Alex?"
"Yes..."He sounded a little drunk too.
"Why are you calling me?" He said kind of harsh. "Not a good time" He said a little nicer.
"I just wanted to wish you a Merry..." He cut me off.
"Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas to you too, I kind of have to go" He was being rude.
"Ok, I love you..." He hung up. What the heck? He was being really rude, and he sounded inebriated. I guess we'll talk about it later. What a Christmas this has been!
Drew's POV I remembered this old cafe. They made the best coffee and sandwiches. I was waiting for him. I needed to catch up on some things. Finally he arrived.
"I hope you know you're paying for my food Cartiano" Roberto was the type of person I hate, but right now I needed to know some things.
"I'll be quick" I said. He sighed.
"What do you want to know?" He knew what I wanted to know, but he couldn't get himself to say it.
"What happened between you?"
"That's none of your business" I pissed him off by saying that, but I didn't care, "If you want to know why I let him go away, let's just say I made some mistakes, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up"
"I know you won't give up, but that won't stop me from telling you the truth"
"What is the truth according to you?" He raised his eyebrow, although I thought he didn't give a fuck about it.
"That you only hurt him when he is happy, and only make him smile when he is already sad" He looked down, "You may not give up, but you should; not for you, but for him"
"So you can have it easy?" He looked at me again with more anger in his eyes, "Don't forget you hurt him too" I nodded my head.
"It was necessary, not hurting him, but saying what was needed" He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, right" The tension was thick. The little cafe was almost empty.
"Christmas made me realize how much I love him, and how much I want him back, and I'm not giving up without a fight"
"Is this a threat Cartiano?"
"No, someone does not threat when he knows he'll win"
"We'll see" He picked up his keys and left the restaurant. I just hope he wasn't going to turn into the nice and flirty jock. That's so old, but maybe useful....
Alex's POV
With all the Christmas Holiday drama over, I was able to spend more time with my friends. Li and Matt had stayed over a few nights, and the Friday night movies became a tradition again. I felt really happy, but the thing with Cole was still on my mind. Natalie never said what she wanted; she ignored it when I asked her. Saying it was nothing.
"Gosh, I can't believe we are halfway through the year, next year we'll be seniors!" Li said. There was a stupid drama show on the TV. It was a lazy Sunday. The sun was shining its brightest and it was a perfect day for the pool.
We had decided to go to a nearby lake, since there was no pool we could go to. The lake was like twenty minutes away and I went there since I was a little kid. We decided to take some food and drinks. It will be a cool day. Roberto and Mark were also going. I talked to Drew a few times; he decided to stay until midway February. Anna, his friend, was really nice and funny. They were also going to the lake. I knew it was kind of a bad idea, after all that's going on with Cole and Drew back and Rob wanting to be close, it seems like I'm a masochist, but believe me when I say I'm not.
"Should I take this one, or this one?" Li was still trying on some swim suits. She had asked me before, in which one did her ass looked better. I just laughed and told her she didn't have enough ass. She pretended to be mad and glared at me.
"Both look good" She smiled and went to the bathroom.
"So... are you still coming to the fair with me?" I nodded. He smiled. Every time he talked about it, he would just smile the brightest. It was good, to see him happy. I forget sometimes how Matt can be so childlike. He eats what he likes, he runs when he wants, he says what he wants. That's something I wished I had.
Matt's POV
"You know the day?" Amanda nodded. Her belly was really big now.
"February 27" I nodded. God, we were almost there. I just gave her the cash and she left. Li was waiting for me on the ice cream parlor across the park. She decided to stay there since last time she wasn't able to control her emotions, neither did I...
"The date?" She was eating her banana split, she always orders that.
"February 27" Her eyes widened slightly.
"That's like in 3 weeks Matt, you have to tell the others" I nodded my head slowly. Just one name stood out.
Alex
"My parents know, they support me on keeping it" She turned to me.
"I wasn't talking about your parents" She took a spoonful of her ice cream. I sat next to her. "What about Rob?"
"I don't really care about him" She rolled her eyes. But it was true, I didn't care about my 'dear' older brother. He treats me like shit, why should I treat him any different?
"Alex?" I just closed my eyes. Having a child was like the obvious barrier I could have to be with Alex. I love him, but when he finds out, I bet he won't think about me the same way.
"I just need the right time" Li rolled her eyes.
"You've been searching the right time for 9 months! Make the right time and tell him" I sighed. It was true. I was avoiding telling him.
"I'm afraid" Li pushed her chair closer to me.
"Matt, you know him so well, he will accept you, he loves you"
"Not the way that I want" I was angry with myself. How could I do this.
"You have never told him, you just let every guy go, take their chance and break his heart, you would never break his heart, why won't he love you?" That made sense. It actually did.
"There's three guys after him right now"
"I would like a fourth, they are after him, you are fighting for him" She winked at me, "Keep it up champ, you got this" I smiled. Li took another spoonful of her ice cream and we just enjoyed the moment.
"Let's go, they are waiting for us to go to the lake, remember we were just getting some ice cream" Li nodded and we stood up. She reached for my arm and we walked. Yep, enjoying good times.
Alex's POV
Matt and Li were still in the ice cream parlor, they were gone for like 30 minutes now, and I was getting impatient. There was a knock on the door and I sighed of relief.
"Why were you gone for so lon..." I was cut off by a kiss. I recognized those lips. Cole was back.
"Hey babe" He grabbed me by the waist and carried me to the living room. I was still mad at him for what he did on Christmas. He never called again.
"Are you mad?" I remained quiet. He smirked at me and I still remained quiet. "Seems like someone needs tickles!" He tickled me with so much energy. I just laughed and laughed more.
"Stop it!" I said laughing. Then he put me on the couch and laid on top of me. He sighed and kissed me.
"You are so beautiful, you've grown a bit" He pecked me and I smiled.
"You were gone for a month and two weeks I think, that's a long time" He avoided my gaze.
"I'm sorry for not calling, I was busy with something at work" I rolled my eyes.
"You don't remember when I called you right?" He looked confused. I sighed. "I called you on Christmas Eve, you were kind of rude" He closed his eyes.
"Baby, I'm sorry I was a little drunk that night, please forgive me, I love you" He kissed me again and it sounded true. "My parent's just love wine, so does my whole family" He gave me an apologetically smile and I smiled back.
"It's okay, I understand" He kissed me again and rubbed his nose against mine, he was so corny sometimes.
"How about I take you out for dinner?" I shook my head.
"Sorry, but since I didn't knew about your arrival, I made plans" He looked at me curiously.
"With whom?" I smirked. My time to get back.
"Oh, no one you should worry about, he's just tutoring me in some math stuff" He arched his eyebrow in a cute way.
"You needed tutoring? Who in the school is smarter than you?" He held my waist close to him. I smirked again. He was so jealous.
"Oh no, he's a college guy" He stared at me in disbelief.
"My sister is good at math, she can help you, cancel that tutoring session" I rolled my eyes mentally.
"She doesn't, I asked her before, but I can't cancel this" I said walking to the kitchen, he followed me like a lost dog, "He was so nice when I met him, and he cancelled some things to meet up with me" Cole was furious.
"I can teach you math" I almost laughed, but I kept my acting.
"Baby, we both know it's not your forte" He got even more furious.
"I know this old lady who is a math teacher, she is really good" I shook my head again, making him more desperate. There was another knock on the door.
"That's him, maybe you should go" He furiously walked to the door and opened it. He was surprise to see Matt and Li with confused looks and me laughing. He stood serious for a minute, and there was a smirk forming on his lips.
"You little piece of..." He chased me around the living room and I ran as fast as I could. I was laughing so hard it was hard to breathe. Eventually he caught me in the stairs and we fell laughing.
"Oh my god, guys are you ok?" Li said staring at us. Cole was laughing as hard as I was.
"Yeah" I said holding my ribs after laughing so hard. Cole got up and hugged me from behind.
"You owe me one" I chuckled. "So, Alex are you ready to go?" I nodded.
"Let me just talk to Cole for a minute" Li nodded and they both left to the car.
"So I guess I'm not invited then?" I just wanted to hug him when he makes that little kid act.
"Awww, I promise when I come back, I'm all yours" He smiled and kissed me on the lips:
"Don't you prefer this hunk, all day, just for you?" I bit my lip playfully.
"I'm sorry hunk, but I gotta go, I'll be back in a few hours" I grabbed the house keys and some food for the lake.
"Promise?" He asked.
"Promise" He kissed me. "Just stay here if you want, there's lasagna in the kitchen" He smiled and kissed me again.
"You know me too well" Cole was his old self again, and I was glad.
"I love you" He said caressing my cheek.
"I love you more" I kissed him and left. If I didn't go now, I'll probably end up with Cole all day. I wanted to, but I had promised to all that I was going.
"Finally Alexander!" Matt said annoyed. I gave him a smile and just hopped into the car. I knew Matt's annoyance would leave in a few minutes. Being replaced by a warm smile of his. I smiled, he does have a warm smile.
Cole's POV
Wow, Alex's lasagna was really good. I couldn't stop eating. It reminds me of my trip to Italy when I was in high school, I remember tasting something similar, but not as good as Alex's. I heard the door close once and I looked up from the kitchen. His mom was home.
"Mark, Alex! I'm home" There was no response. Obviously, both were at the lake. I knew his mom disliked me. I just wanted to make things right and maybe make peace.
"Hey Ms. Hayes, they are not here, Alex said they were coming in a few hours" Her look of surprise and hatred was clear. I didn't know what her problem was. I knew she was stuck up and all, but never cruel.
"If they are not here, what are you doing here?" I shrugged my shoulders. She rolled her eyes and saw the lasagna I was eating.
"That was cooked by...Alex?" I nodded with my mouth full. She stopped for a moment, like if she had remembered something. She seemed weird and I dropped the fork and cleaned my mouth with a napkin.
"Is there a problem?" I saw a tear rolled down her eye.
"I need you to leave" I grabbed my keys and my backpack. "No, I mean, leave him" I stopped what I was doing and stared at her.
"What's your problem? I've never done anything to you" Her face showed disgust.
"You are no good for him!" I rolled my eyes.
"I have proved that I love him, why can't you accept that, and that I make him happy!" She just glared at me harder, if that's possible.
"Because of this!" She grabbed a magazine from her purse and tossed it to me. From the cover I could see it was a jet set socialite magazine. The cover said it was from New York. I gulped.
"Page thirty nine, bottom part" I flipped quickly to the page. I was cursing inside. I knew something like this could happen.
I reached the page and closed my eyes. I was so stupid. Obviously she works there, she would find out.
"That's how much you love my son?" She despises me and she has a really good reason.
"I...I love him, I was going to tell him" That seemed to make her angrier.
"Oh, you do? When?, at the Altar maybe? Send him an invitation to your fucking wedding?" I knew his mom cursing was not common, when I met her, she seemed really polite and that. I was about to cry.
"You don't know why I did this, My parent's pressure me so much, they don't know I'm gay" She rolled her eyes.
"When Alex came out to me, I thought it was wrong, that he shouldn't be that, but you know what? He was always true to himself, even though I was not the mother I should have been, he was the strongest person I've ever seen; I love him , even if he thinks I don't" I sighed. I felt so guilty. I just wanted to hug him, and to leave this world with him.
"I... I love him" I said.
"Enough?" She wiped some anger tears, "I love him more than you think, I won't let his heart break again, no, I won't let it happen, so you tell him now, or I will" She left the magazine on the table. I couldn't bear to see it. There was a picture, of me and her. Elizabeth was smiling brightly, so was I. It was the day before I met Alex. We were at a friend's wedding, he was really close to us, we knew him from high school. Elizabeth's ring was really big, It was such a burden to find one that fit her standards. The lines read "Ryan and Elizabeth, happily engaged". A tear escaped my eye. I was such an idiot.
Alex's POV
"Hey Guys, What's up?" Anna was a really nice girl. She was really funny too and bubbly. Anna was so excited to be in the US too, I've never seen someone as excited as she.
"Hello American friends" She said happily and kissed both our cheeks. I chuckled. She was so European, if that's the word. I smiled at her and kissed her cheeks back.
"Hello there" Drew put a hand on my waist and kissed my cheek. I blushed a deep red and he smirked. He leaned towards my ear and whispered.
"You look quite good today, by the way, I almost lost control and kissed you" I blushed again. He knew how to hit those spots, when we were in a relationship that made me melt.
"Hello Drew, and thanks" He winked and patted my butt. I turned to him wide eyes and he smirked again. I just rolled my eyes playfully and said hi to the others. Rob wasn't here yet, he was supposedly riding with Mark. They were late. I decided to jump into the lake. I noticed Drew was also taking his shirt off. He looked good, his body was so hot. The memories of my first time came back, I quickly shook them off, that's in the past.
"Are you okay?" He said getting closer. I nodded and gave him a shy smile. "You look so beautiful, you know" I blushed again.
"Drew, stop it please, I..." He took my hand.
"I just miss those moments, when you kissed my lips and I held your hand, just like this" He said getting closer. He was leaning to kiss me. I panicked, I couldn't do this. I have a boyfriend. He closed his eyes and squeezed my hand. I gulped. I thought fast and pushed him into the lake. He fell to the water, dragging me with him. Cold water surprised me and I was shivering. Drew swam to me and hugged me.
"Cold?" I nodded quickly. He spread warmth, even in the cold water. I was still shivering, but his eyes captivated me. I could see how they shone brightly and trapped me. He was doing this on purpose. He knew the effect he could have. Not even someone jumping on the lake made us break contact. He half smiled at me, looking so good.
"You look so handsome" I whispered. But he definitely heard me. He smiled. I slapped my forehead mentally. "I meant, you look like a cactus" He chuckled.
"Old Alex, I've missed you" I blushed and we joined the others. I needed to move on and just forget about him. He's leaving to Italy one day and I won't. But he's back for now and he looks as good as he can be. I mean, how much more can I resist?
"We are here!" Everyone was waiting for the pizza. Rob and Mark were in charge of buying it. I smiled as I smelled the cheese and the pepperoni. Rob served me a plate with two slices and sat next to me. I devoured them easily. Rob was staring at me with a funny look.
"What?" He chuckled and put his arm around me.
"Are you hungry?" He said jokingly.
"A little" I smiled. He kissed my forehead and then stood up to cook some burgers. I just ate slowly. I remember saying to him no kiss between us was friendly, and this time was no different...