Part 3 of the story of D'n'M, just like Parts 1 and 2, includes sex between teenage boys, some of it non-consensual. As before, it is the characters themselves and how they react to events that are key to whatever success the story achieves.
All the characters and events in the story are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, either living or dead, is entirely unintentional.
The story is copyrighted and may not be reproduced in any way without the express permission of the author who can be contacted at:
pjalexander1753@gmail.com
PJ
D'n'M Part 3
From Chapter 7:
"So why did he choose me?" This question was so anguished, so pleading that Shania Margelles was tempted to get up from her chair and envelop Dan in a warm and reassuring hug. Luckily for both her professional objectivity and personal integrity she resisted the temptation, but she did begin to wonder if they might be approaching a break-through. She knew she had to tread carefully.
"Roberts?"
Dan nodded.
"Why do you think you became one of his victims?" This had the potential to be a very dangerous question. "What was it about you?"
"He must have seen all the bad stuff inside me. Why else did I ...?"
"Why else did you ...?" The question hung in the air.
"Enjoy it." Dan's voice was barely more than a whisper. This was the first time, since talking to M and Tom all those months before, that he'd even hinted to anyone about his response in Mr. Roberts' office that day. About how he'd got hard and caught up in the act of jerking-off and had produced an impressive cum that had painted the floor of Mr. Roberts' office.
Chapter 8:
"It might be helpful if you could say more about that. Do you think you can do that? About `enjoying' it'." Shania Margelles sensed she was now walking on eggshells. Depending on Dan's response, the next few minutes could be make or break as far as any meaningful progress was concerned.
"You know," he paused, in more than two minds about just how detailed and explicit he could bring himself to be. In the end embarrassment won out over being candid. "Things happened. Down there!" He pointed down, below his waist.
"You mean your body responded in a sexual way to what Mr. Roberts was saying and doing?" She kept her tone very even, very professional, very non-judgemental.
Dan nodded. He almost smiled with relief that Please Call Me seemed to understand what he meant without expecting him to spell it out in full technicolour.
"So let me see if I've understood this right." She felt it important to ratchet down the degree of pressure Dan must be feeling and also make sure that she had a firm handle on where the conversation had arrived. Only then, she felt, might she be able to show Dan that there was the possibility of light at the end of the tunnel. "You were fourteen years old when the abuse happened?"
Dan nodded, with his face now pointed down towards the floor.
"You know you have a supportive family and friends who love you?"
Dan nodded again. She wasn't sure, but the counsellor thought she noticed Dan lift his head slightly, as if in response to the reference to family and friends.
"And you know that what happened to you was abuse in which you were forced to take part in sexual activity that you didn't actively choose to be involved in?" She was careful to include the words forced' and didn't choose', again making it clear that there was no suggestion of Dan being complicit in what had happened with Mr. Roberts.
Dan nodded again, this time his attention seemed to be fixed on his hand gripping the arm of the chair he was sitting in.
"And, in that `no choice' situation, your body did what inexperienced teenage bodies do when something sexually stimulating happens to them, however unwelcome?"
Dan looked up but definitely didn't make eye contact. "I ... I guess."
At this moment Counsellor Margelles felt that a door had just been very narrowly opened and, if she could just find the right words, she might now be able to push on it and offer this very lost boy some hope for a brighter future.
"Thank you, Dan, for helping me get that clear in my head. Now I'd like you to listen to me very carefully for the next couple of minutes."
Now Dan did look straight at Please Call Me, something about the tone and intensity of her voice seemed to demand it. The fact of the eye-contact was not lost on her.
"I don't know every detail of how you've tried to make sense of all this for yourself although it seems clear to me from each of our meetings before today that you've not found it easy. If it's alright with you I'm going to tell you my thoughts. Would that be okay?"
"Yeah." A single, muttered, syllable but it was enough to allow her to continue.
"So, starting from the beginning, you're Dan Reed, fifteen years old now -- but fourteen at the time of the abuse - and you live at home with your mum and dad. You have strong, honest and open relationships with both parents and you know you can rely on them for support and affection. You have an older brother, Tom, who you are very close to and who you miss a lot because he's away at university. You also have a best friend, Milo, who you think of as an extension of yourself and who was with you every step of the way after the abuse. How am I doing so far?"
"Pretty good," replied Dan.
"Okay. Until a few months ago you were a talented and successful soccer player - an integral part of the school team -- but you've given that up and now stick to a rigorous schedule of work-outs, martial arts and running."
Dan nodded.
"People might consider you to be a well put-together, good-looking boy, although that would be professionally inappropriate for me to comment on."
Dan's eye-brows shot up. "I'm not sure about that, well, the good-looking part that is," but he couldn't prevent a shy smile appearing on his face.
Having gained Dan's attention and, hopefully, enabled him to be more relaxed than he had been earlier in the session, Shania Margelles moved into, what she hoped would be, the most productive part of the day's meeting.
"Some months ago you were subjected to a gross abuse of power, perpetrated by an adult who you had previously looked-up to and trusted. Not only did he coerce you into unwanted sexual activity for his own pleasure, he also messed with your head in a very significant way."
The counsellor paused here to try to gauge Dan's reaction to her words, words she had chosen with care, not wanting the boy to feel patronised or treated anything other than intelligent and thoughtful. When she looked at him she saw that the smile had certainly disappeared, his shoulders had gone back to being slumped and his gaze was, once more, fixed on the patterned rug in front of his chair. But he was, very obviously, still listening. She couldn't really hope for any more than that, so she carried on.
"You have continued to believe that you were singled out by Mr. Roberts because he could detect something fundamentally bad about you, something wrong inside, something, as you once said to me, somehow warped, and you believe this because of the way your body responded at the time of the abuse. Have I got that right?"
Dan was once more reduced to a state of speechlessness but he knew that Please Call Me had pretty much nailed it. The knot that had formed in his stomach would only allow him to nod in agreement.
"Thank you. So now I want to focus on some very important facts and then I'd like to share with you a piece of professional speculation on my part. Before I do that though, do you need a break? Some water? Or is it okay for me to carry on?"
Again Dan nodded. Shania Margelles took this to be Dan's agreement for her to continue.
"So here are the facts I just mentioned. Number 1, Mr. Roberts is an abuser. We don't know why but that is the truth of it. Maybe he has something warped inside him, but we'll never know. The important thing for you to hear and believe is that none of what happened to you is your fault. I know many people, myself included, have been telling you that since it all happened but, today, I'm asking you to finally and completely accept it." She didn't wait for any sort of reaction from Dan, but carried straight on to ...
"Fact number 2, despite what you say, you weren't singled out. You weren't the only one. Over many, many years, dozens of boys went through exactly the same cruel and abusive treatment as you, and there's plenty of evidence to prove it. You know that is true because it was thanks to you that so many of those other victims found the strength and self-belief to come forward."
Shania Margelles could tell from the expression on his face and the fact that he was now looking directly at her that Dan was fully engaged and following every word. "And that brings us to fact number 3, that out of all those dozens, perhaps even hundreds of boys, you were the one who found the courage to tell your parents what had happened to you and then to go to the police. It's down to you that a serial paedophile abuser is going to be spending at least the next thirty years in jail. To me, that doesn't sound like the action of someone bad or warped, in fact, quite the opposite."
Dan spoke for the first time in several minutes, "But it wasn't just me. Lots of guys helped to put him in prison. It couldn't have happened without them, especially M."
"That's undoubtedly true and all credit to them, but it was you, Dan Reed, who opened the door on that dark and secret world and let in the first shaft of light. Isn't that right?"
"I guess."
"And now fact number 4, puberty sucks, and adolescence is suckier." Dan nodded. He'd never heard that word before but he instinctively knew what it meant and that he completely agreed.
"First, during puberty, your body plays all sorts of tricks on you, everything getting bigger, hairier, much less predictable. But at least you can see what's going on and that makes all those tricks -- including the sneaky ones like unwanted erections and wet dreams -- somehow fairly manageable, even though they can be pretty embarrassing. Or worse!"
Talk of erections and wet dreams coming from the mouth of his middle-aged counsellor (she was actually only just turned forty-three), would ordinarily have made Dan feel very uncomfortable, but somehow he was too engaged with everything else she was saying to care. So far, all of her `facts' rang completely true. He wondered where else she was going to go. He didn't have to wait long.
"But if your body is full of tricks and surprises, thanks to puberty, in adolescence your mind is way worse. Sometimes it feels as if all the thoughts and feelings you've got used to and familiar with for the first thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years of your life have somehow got themselves thrown up in the air and have come down again in a totally random and unrecognisable order. It feels as if all the familiar connections in your head have become disconnected and are desperately trying to hook themselves up again, but usually not where they were before. Does that make some sort of sense to you and, if so, does it sound at all familiar?"
Without him knowing it, Dan's head was nodding in agreement. He absolutely got what Please Call Me was saying.
"And do you have any idea why that is? Why you feel like that?"
The head nodding turned to shaking.
"Well, it's because that's more or less exactly what is happening. Not only is your body remaking itself, your mind is doing the same thing. The result is that pretty much everything you knew about yourself and took for granted is no longer anything like so certain and reliable. Does that sound like something you recognise?"
The nodding returned.
"In effect you're becoming a new Dan Reed, and for a long time it's really difficult to recognise yourself or to know who that new person is going to turn out to be. And that whole process can be really confusing and, sometimes, really, really scary. That's why I say that adolescence sucks. But the good thing is that everything does, eventually, settle down and when it does you get the chance to get to know that new you. And, believe me, that can be very exciting."
Looking across at Dan, the counsellor could see something in his eyes -- a brightness and alertness - that hadn't been there earlier, maybe not there at all in any of their time together. It gave her the confidence to embark on the `professional speculation' she'd mentioned earlier.
"All that is pretty well researched and documented and written up in scientific papers and journals -- although none that I've read actually mention Dan Reed by name."
That produced a smile.
"But now I'm going into `hunch' territory. I'm not going to ask you to agree or disagree with what I'm going to say -- and please feel free to tell me to stop at any time you like -- but I am going to ask you to take it away and think about it before our next session. Okay?"
Dan's face expressed puzzlement, maybe even surprise, but he nodded his agreement that things could carry on.
"What happened to you with Mr. Roberts was, undoubtedly, a really big deal and it's also a big a deal that you've come through it as well as you have. And it happened at a time in your life when lots of other `big deal' stuff was going on, when all those connections in your head I just mentioned were getting themselves reorganised, at a time when you would, completely naturally, have been feeling unsettled and trying to make sense of lots of things that had stopped making much sense at all. And suddenly you don't recognise yourself any more, and things about yourself that you had always been one hundred percent sure of, well, now you're not so sure. And it's like you're running to catch up with yourself and you wonder who you'll find when you do finally reach him.
"So you, Dan, have got one lot of big deal stuff to deal with, much like most other young people your age, but that's been seriously messed with by something horrific that very few other people ever have to face up to. So it's doubly hard and doubly confusing and in no way means you're bad or warped inside. And the good news is that there's every chance that things will get sorted and you will get to meet and like the new you. And it's really important to remember that you've got a whole lot of people on your side who will be there to help as much as you want them to. Including me."
Shania Margelles paused and took a discreet glance at the clock on the shelf behind Dan. She saw that their time had run out several minutes ago.
"Now look what's happened," she said in a jokey tone. "I've broken just about every professional rule in the book by taking up most of our time with all my ramblings. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I've given you so much to think about that your head must be close to bursting. But don't worry, I'm away on leave for the next three weeks so that means you won't have to come here again for a month and that should give you plenty of time to mull over some of the things I've said today. I'm already looking forward to hearing what you think. So no pressure!"
Smiling, she stood up so Dan knew the session was officially over. Together they walked across to the door which she put out a hand to open.
"Remember what I just said: there's no reason to think that things won't get sorted or that you won't start to feel a whole lot better about yourself, and about life and, well, pretty much everything. Now you take care and I'll see you soon. And don't forget, before our next meeting, to think about some of the things I said.
Forget? How could he possibly forget? So much of what she said was rattling around in his head already. Some of it made sense, much of it didn't and all of it was going to take a lot of thinking time to sort out. He had convinced himself that the mess inside his head was all down to what had happened to him that day in Mr. Roberts' office, but if Please Call Me was right, maybe that wasn't the whole story. And the idea of changing into a new Dan Reed? Wow! That was cool and scary at the same time. He certainly had a lot to think about but at least he had M to talk it through with. It looked, after all, like they'd be on the phone for even longer than was usual that night. He couldn't have been more wrong.
Thanks to all those who have taken the time and trouble to write to tell me how they feel about this story. As ever I am very grateful for all feedback and promise to respond.
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