Crossed Lines

A couple notes for you lovely readers:

1. We all know the true sexual orientations of the members of *NSYNC, whether they're talking or not. But since they're not talking, I'll let them continue to live a charade and say this work of fiction is not meant to reflect *NSYNC's opinions or attitudes, blah, blah, blah. If only Lance would just give it up and come out. Even the 12-year-old girls know. Jesus.

2. Thanks to all of you that have written with support and ideas, especially Jack and Dannii. Can't wait to hear what you think about this one.

3. What I'm reading..."Lance and Michael", "My Surprise Romance", "Josh and Just", "Nsync Lance and JC", and "Curly and Josh", plus a ton more. You'll notice that they're all about Lance, JC, or both. Surprise, surprise.

4. And finally, I'd love to hear from you all about what you think, would like to happen, or what you don't like. It helps me figure out where this is headed, and I aim to please. flyguy2240@hotmail.com

Now on with the story.

CROSSED LINES by James An *NSYNC fantasy-of-sorts

Part Three

The dark hung like a blanket fort that four-year-olds build--warm, close and quiet. Lance sat alone, shaking and trying to dry the tears that would not stop spilling out of his eyes. He was still shirtless, and his arms were crossed across his chest, hands on his shoulders, as he rocked himself. His ass hurt, sitting on a plastic pail as he was, but he didn't really notice, thinking instead of the altercation that had just happened in his hotel room. -They really think I'm gay? How can they think I'm gay? I'm not gay. They have to know I'm not gay.- But then a voice would enter his mind, speaking to him much like his mother did when she was angry. -But you ARE gay, James Lance Bass. You're a big faggot, and you're in love with JC. Get over it!- Then he'd freak out again because the guys knew he was gay, knew it without him even telling them. He'd done so much to try and hide it. How did they know? Was he really that transparent?

"What the hell am I going to do?" he asked out loud, his voice echoing in the janitorial closet that he'd hidden himself in. And that was the problem, really. He'd freaked out on the guys, even though he was gay, and he'd ruined the perfect opportunity to come out to them. They seemed like they were comfortable with him liking guys, and now he was holed up in a closet, hiding from them because he'd embarrassed himself. -Jesus,- Lance thought. -What next?-

"Okay, guys, what happened?" Josh asked, concern melting into anger as the rest of the band continued to sit in silence. "What did you do to upset Lance? He was crying and everything."

The guys wouldn't say a word. Justin's mouth kept opening as if he were about to say something, hang for a second, and then close. Joey looked like he'd just watched his mother get hit by a truck: wide-eyed and pale. Chris had his face buried in his hands, occasionally taking a moment to hit himself in the head. And they said nothing.

"Guys? Come on, what happened?"

Nothing.

"Why's Lance crying?" JC looked at each of his band mates, trying to elicit some response.

Nothing.

"Fine, guys. Fuck you." JC stormed out of the room, heading in the direction he last saw Lance running off in.

Finally, after a dozen attempts, Justin's mouth let out a sound when he opened it. "See, guys. We couldn't have orchestrated it better if we tried. I knew I should tell you about it." Then he looked at the door that JC had just left through. "And did Josh just tells us to fuck off?"

-I have to leave this closet sometime,- Lance thought, trying to plan his next move. -Hmm, does this have some sort of double meaning, me being in this closet? Well, maybe.- Lance giggled to himself. -Leave it to me to hide in a closet when the guys confront me about being gay.-

Slowly, Lance stood up, stretching his legs and rubbing his ass where it had rested on a bucket of industrial cleaner. Maybe he'd be able to sneak back to his room and get ready for the interview without seeing the guys. Unlikely, but a possibility. And what would he do if he saw the rest of the band? What about JC? He'd forgotten about JC, and the thought of his crush and good friend made him weak in the knees. Not because he was swooning, mind you, though that had happened many a time before, but because he had no idea what the guys had told Josh, what JC thought, or what he would do if JC asked him about being gay. He didn't think he was prepared to tell Josh anything, but if he knew, how could Lance think of denying it?

-Oh, damn. What am I going to do?- Lance sat back down on the bucket, burying his face in his hands. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the tears from falling again.

JC wandered the halls of the hotel for twenty minutes before finally deciding to give up on finding Lance. He knew that his love was shirtless, barefoot, and crying, so he couldn't have gone far. No matter what state he was in, Josh knew that Lance always had the band and its image in mind. He'd never let the public see him upset like that. So JC checked the random little place he thought Lance would hide himself in to get composed. Hallways that led to unused rooms, the alcoves that stored the vending machines, the stairwell that led to the roof. Anywhere he could think of that wouldn't involve being seen by people and potential fans. And JC had no luck. Lance obviously didn't want to be found.

Not that JC blamed the boy. He often wanted to run and hide for a while, too. Anything to be out of the limelight long enough to catch his breath and prepare himself to wear what he'd come to call "the straight mask". He hated it, but it was necessary to pretend, even from the guys. Who knew if they'd be able to keep their mouth shut, not that they'd intentionally try to hurt or expose Josh. It's just that sometimes things slipped when they weren't meant to. So he kept it to himself because he knew he could trust himself. But sometimes it hurt, not telling the guys, not being honest with them. It violated everything he felt about friendship, violated the family-like atmosphere and relationships he had with the band. He did it anyway, however. He had to.

Lance, however, was another issue. An issue JC didn't even really want to deal with at the moment. Lance was straight, off limits, and it wasn't worth the pain and misery it would cause to come clean with the bass singer. Instead, Josh would just play the caring, close friend. That's all he could be, anyway.

JC turned and headed back toward the cluster of hotel rooms the guys had. It had to be time to leave for the interview with the radio station, and Lance had mentioned earlier that they might even have to do a bit of a capella singing. JC wanted to get warmed up. Though would they sing if Lance weren't there? It really wouldn't sound right. -But then,- JC thought, -nothing in the group would be right without Lance.-

JC suddenly heard a whimper. At least, he thought he did. He stopped dead in his tracks, in the middle of the hallway, and listened for it again. He could hear nothing. Maybe he'd been imagining it. Then he heard it again, a sniff from someone crying on JC's right. He turned to find the sound, and was facing a door marked "Hospitality Staff Only". Was it Lance? He couldn't tell, but he was about to find out.

Justin, Chris and Joey stood in the hallway connecting the guys' rooms, waiting for either JC or Lance, or preferably both, to return. The limo was waiting downstairs, ready to whisk *NSYNC away to some nameless radio station in another nameless town before preparing for yet another concert on this tour. And the guys were understandably antsy. Lance never missed anything promotional if he could help it, and JC was the hot lead singer, the one everyone wanted. -Well, along with me,- Justin thought, smiling to himself at his conceit. And still no Josh or Lance.

Chris turned to the others, uneasiness in his eyes. "I don't think they're coming."

Joey nodded agreement. "I think you're right, bud."

"I think we should wait five more minutes," Justin responded, wringing his hands together with worry.

"I don't think that's going to make a difference, Curly," Chris said, putting an arm around Justin's shoulder. "They obviously need some time. And we're totally late all ready. We can do this interview without them. It's not like we haven't before, you know."

"Yeah, but that's different. It's usually when one of us is sick or visiting family or something like that. Not because I've pissed them off." Justin shrugged off Chris' arm and began pacing the hallway, still clasping his hands.

"Hey," Joey said, looking at Justin with a bit of annoyance in his eyes. "It's not like you're alone in this boat. Chris and I did plenty to piss them off, too, you know."

Justin turned to Joey, looking a bit sheepish. "Yeah, I guess you're right.

I just don't know if we did the right thing. I mean, what if I'm wrong and Lance isn't gay? And what if JC and Lance don't have feelings for each other like I thought? Maybe we took this all a little too fast."

Chris took Justin's arm and pulled him down the hall toward the elevator while Joey followed. "Well, maybe we are wrong, but we all thought you were right, and we did what we did. It's too late now. And they're big boys. They'll figure all this out." He pushed the button to call for the elevator while he pulled out his cell phone.

"I guess." Justin looked down the hall again, hoping to see JC and Lance walking toward him. No luck.

Chris dialed a number and then put his cell phone to his ear. "We're on our way down." The elevator arrived and the three *NSYNCers got in. The doors closed, and the hall was left empty.

Lance sat still hugging himself, alone in the dark of the utility closet. -What am I going to do?- he thought. He still had no idea. Could he bring himself to apologize to the guys? He was so embarrassed at his reaction; he felt like an idiot. And then there was JC. Could he face JC if the singer knew Lance was gay? And did he have to tell JC he had a crush on him? Could he get out of it? Or should he just crawl into a hole and die? The more he thought about it, the more the spiky-haired blond wanted a hole ready for him when he left the closet. It would make life so much simpler.

Suddenly, the door to the closet burst open, and Lance was flooded with bright light. He groaned and covered his sensitive eyes, trying to make out who had opened his sanctuary. The person was tall, he could tell, and his hair was long and messy atop his head. Seemed like a guy to Lance. The bass singer rubbed his eyes and tried again to bring the person standing before him into focus.

And then he figured it out, and nearly swallowed his tongue.

It was JC.

The limo ride to the radio station was a lot shorter than the guys had expected, and in less than fifteen minutes, they were standing in a studio, microphone in their faces and headphones on their heads, ready for the interview. The disc jockey, a slimy older man with dark, graying hair and a leer on his face, sat on the other side of the glass, his eyes looking each of the guys up and down as if judging their potential as fuck buddies. Justin shifted uncomfortably on his stool, shivering at the thought of this DJ trying to lay his hands on the young singer. Then he felt Joey pat his knee reassuringly, and Justin smiled at his band mate. They'd make it through this interview.

"You're listening to KPOP Radio, your pop music connection, and we're here with the hottest band in the country, *NSYNC!" The DJ spoke, his smooth, announcer voice in direct contrast with his dirty looks. "Hey guys, how's it going?"

Chris leaned into the microphone. "We're doing great, thanks!"

"So, you guys are here in our lovely city on tour. How's the tour been?"

Joey fielded this question. "Tour's been great so far. We love the opportunity to connect with our fans, and they're responding so well to our new stuff, which, I have to admit, I was a little nervous about. But it's been wonderful, and I can't wait to see the response to the new album when it comes out."

"That's good the hear. And speaking of the new album, what's been the hold up?" The DJ sneered at Justin, deciding that this question was for him. "Did it take longer than expected?"

Justin managed a smile, knowing that it could be heard in his voice. "Well, we've finished with the album, but we and the record company have decided to hold it off a bit, waiting until it's perfect. Things always come up with this stuff, and rushing the album out isn't our style. We want it to be right."

"So, we have Justin, Joey and Chris of *NSYNC in the studio with us. The question of the moment is, where are Lance and JC?" The disc jockey gave a snide grin, knowing that this was exactly the question the guys did not want to answer.

Justin turned to look at Joey and Chris, wondering what answer to give. They hadn't decided on a response before the interview; the limo ride was so short that they hardly got a chance to talk about it. Chris looked back with wide eyes, a slight look of fear on his face. They couldn't tell the truth, so what would they say? Joey's eyes were closed, and his face looked pale, almost as if he was going to be ill. Justin turned back to the microphone.

"Well," he started, once again wringing his hands. But he didn't get a chance to finish.

"Hold that thought, Justin!" The DJ called out, hands moving over the soundboard. "We've got to get into some music. We're here with three members of *NSYNC, in concert tonight at the Target Center. And we'll be back with them to chat some more after this, their latest single, 'Pop'."

The music flooded the headphones, and Justin pulled them off to hear the guys. Chris and Joey had done the same. And ignoring the DJ, still trying to talk to them through the studio glass, they went into a huddle. What were they going to say about JC and Lance?

JC couldn't help himself, and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. "What the hell are you doing in this closet?"

Lance finally worked his tongue, which he'd been choking on since Josh had opened the door, out of is throat so that he could speak. And the look on JC's face was so serious, so concerned, that Lance had to answer truthfully. "Hiding."

"Why? What the hell went down back there? Are you okay? What did the guys do?"

"Whoa, Jace, slow down." Lance wiped his eyes, trying to erase any sign of his tears from his crush and friend. "I can only answer one question at a time."

JC crossed his arms and looked down at his love, fighting every urge in his body to pick Lance up and hold him for the next few millennia. "Fine. We'll work one question at a time. Are you okay?"

Lance felt a small smile cross his face. "Yeah, I guess. I'm okay now."

"So, what happened?"

Lance swallowed, trying to buy time by standing up. What was he going to say? JC obviously didn't know what the guys had said or knew, which, for the first time, Lance thought might possibly be two different things. He could even make something up and stay in the closet. The guys probably didn't know for fact that Lance was gay. How could they? Lance had never, ever, done anything about his feelings for men. His secret could remain just that: a secret.

Then Lance heard JC clear his throat, and for the first time looked into the tall singer's eyes. Those deep blue eyes were staring back at him, full of love and concern and genuine friendship, something Lance had never had growing up in Mississippi. How could he lie to JC; how could it even cross his mind? He had to tell Josh the truth, even if it killed him. Lance started thinking of ways to leave the band, knowing that he'd have to once he told JC that he was both gay and in love with the dark-haired singer.

"Lance?" Josh whispered. "What happened?"

Lance took a deep breath. "Come on, Jace. You're going to need a chair for this." He grabbed his friend's arm and led him down the hall towards his room.

"You're listening to KPOP Radio, your pop connection, and we're back with Justin, Chris and Joey of *NSYNC. Guys, just before the song, I asked where JC and Lance were, and we didn't get a chance to let you answer. So I'll ask again, where are the rest of the guys?" The slimy disc jockey grinned from ear to ear, thinking that he'd cornered the guys into a question they were avoiding.

Justin, however, grinned the same grin right back, knowing that the conference he'd had with Chris and Joey had given him adequate time to find a plausible lie. -Where did this guy learn to interview?- Justin thought. -He sure as hell needs some pointers.-

Chris decided to answer the question. "Lance and JC are in a meeting with our management about the album and the upcoming changes in our opening act for the tour. We're so excited because 'Lil Romeo will be joining us on the next leg of the tour, which will be great. He's incredibly talented, especially for someone so young." The smiles on the guys' faces reflected their feeling of doing internal somersaults over this absolutely perfect answer to the question. Johnny Wright would flip, too...in a good way...over the fact that they not only covered the Lance and JC's absence, but also got an additional plug in for the tour. -Perfect,- Justin thought. -Perfect.- His smile got wider, if that's possible.

"Jace and Lance were so bummed because they had to miss this interview," Chris continued, adding salt to the DJ's wound. "They both love dealing with the fans so much, and I know JC really wanted to take some listener phone calls.

He has this weird love for everything radio, and he's got this obsession with taking phone calls on the air. He practically jumps every time we get that chance to be live on the radio. Guess we'll just have to do that for him."

"Yep, that's right!" Joey called out into the microphone, picking up on Chris' cue and stealing the show from the DJ at the same time. "We'd love to take some calls and answer some of your questions. Hey, dude." He looked at the DJ, whose mouth was working like a fish. "What's the number to call here?"

"Uh," the disc jockey replied, dumbfounded. "Uh, it's 555-5767."

Justin took over, not even bothering to hide his glee at the disc jockey's situation. "That's right, people. You can talk to us live on the air, and get the answers to all your burning questions, by calling 555-KPOP." And with that, the phones lit up, with every line glowing red. They guys burst into giggles as they watched the DJ try to figure out what he was going to do about it all. -Showed him, damn bastard,- Justin thought. -That should teach him to mess with *NSYNC.-

Lance walked into his room with JC on his heels. Trying to steel himself for the inevitable, he sat himself in one of the chairs by the balcony, burying his head in his hands and taking a few calming breaths. Looking up, he almost jumped when he found JC inches from him, sitting on the other chair and leaning into Lance and waiting patiently for Lance to begin.

"Okay, Jace," Lance began, knowing that, like a band-aid, it would hurt less if he just did it quickly. "You wanted to know what went down. So, the guys were in my room, talking with me, when they asked if I was going to tell them I am gay." He waited a moment, letting the information sink into JC's head. But the tall singer's eyes remained blank, so he continued.

"I freaked out on them, mostly because I wasn't quite prepared for the question, and that I thought I'd hidden my homosexuality very well. Guess I was wrong because they figured it out. But I wasn't ready to deal, so I flipped and went running, not knowing what else I was going to do. It was more a gut reaction than anything else. But they're right, and I should have told you guys a long time ago. I'm gay."

JC's eyes still held a blank look, and Lance didn't know what to think of it. Was he getting all of this? Was he upset? But when JC said nothing, Lance figured it couldn't be that bad, so he decided to go for the gusto.

"There's more, JC, and I can't keep this from you anymore. I don't think it's fair to you, and it's probably hurting our relationship in irreparable ways...God, I just have to say this. Um, Josh...Josh, look at me?"

JC still had the blank look, but he did what Lance asked and looked him in the eyes. So Lance went on.

"Josh..." Lance took JC's hand into both of his, rubbing it softly with his thumb. "Sweet, dear Joshua Scott Chasez...I'm in love with you."