This story is set in the fictional city of Trenton, New Jersey. Yes, there is a real city by that name, but other than being a state capital on the Delaware River, it bears little resemblance to the city in this story. This is a work of fiction.
If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
Chapter Five
By the end of August my life had stabilized. The dishwashing job was boring and didn't pay well, but it paid enough. I had bought some more socks and underwear so I didn't have to wash clothes in the sink every few days. I could hold off and go to the laundromat around the corner on the weekend, although everything I owned still didn't completely fill one washer. I worked out with Manny every day, with our workouts on the weekends extended into hot jo sessions. He occasionally hinted that he'd like to take them further, but he didn't push when I said no. He swore that he could see a difference in my body after only a month of working with the weights, but as much as I wanted to, I didn't see any change at all when I looked in the mirror. I was still a skinny kid.
I went to Norman's for dinner every Saturday night. I started going a little early and spent about an hour before dinner at the piano. I'd noticed the second week that he'd had it tuned. I told him a little more about my life, Aunt Aggie, Mom and Ralph, but I still didn't let on my real age. I also didn't say anything about losing my life savings at the train station. That was still an embarrassment and a sore spot for me. He talked quite a bit about his life with Harry and what it was like to be gay back in the seventies.
On Friday before Labor Day weekend I was feeling down all day. The luncheonette wasn't going to be open on the holiday so I had a three-day weekend coming up. But Betty and Luann told me Gert didn't pay us for holidays, so I knew that the fifty bucks I'd managed to save would go toward replacing the lost day's pay.
It wasn't the money that was bothering me, though. I realized about halfway through the day what it was. Next week would be the beginning of the new school year, and for the first time in my life I wouldn't be going. I was one of those weird kids who actually enjoyed school. I liked English and history, but math and science didn't do anything for me. Classes and studying were okay, but it was more than that. Though I didn't have any real friends, it made me feel like I had a social life just being around other kids my age. And I wasn't a complete loner; I did talk to the others and was a little bit a part of things. My participation in the social scene didn't extend beyond school property, though.
My life had changed so much since I'd left home, but thinking about how all of the other kids were going back to school next week and I wasn't made me rethink the way things were going. What really brought me down was the realization that I wasn't going anywhere in life without a high school diploma, and I was two years away from that. And the way I was going I wouldn't be getting any closer. I didn't know how I could solve that problem.
When I got back to the house I went up to Manny's room to work out. He took my mind off my worries with his joking and flirting. He got me a little worked up with all of his touching and grabbing, but he had to leave for work as soon as we were done so there was no relief, at least until the next day. I showered, paid Lucille my rent and went out for something to eat. I picked up a few pieces of chicken at KFC and headed for the park. I had decided that a little time sitting on my rock on the riverbank might make me feel better. I might even come up with some answers.
It was early and still daylight, so there wasn't much happening at the cruising area as I passed through. I was still fascinated with the place and over time I was getting braver. I didn't lurk behind trees watching the cruising anymore. I strolled right through but I still didn't stop or even slow down when someone checked me out. Now and then a guy would say something to me, usually some corny pickup line, like 'Do you have the time?' or "Got a match?' Sometimes he'd come right out and ask if I wanted to have some fun. Whatever, I'd just smile, shake my head and keep on going. Norman had said some of the cruising was for fun and some for money but from what I saw most of them seemed to be having fun. Now and then I'd see a guy getting out of the passenger side of a car stuffing something in his pocket so I assumed he was selling. And there was one old guy around Norman's age who'd sit in his parked Volvo with his hands on the steering wheel and a couple of twenty-dollar bills folded lengthwise sticking up between the fingers of his left hand. He was definitely buying.
I got to my rock, sat down and began to eat the chicken. I watched the river flow past me and tried to think of a way to finish my high school education. My first thought was that if I got a job in the evening like Manny I might be able to go to school during the day. But then I realized that they'd have to get my records from Chester and then they'd find out how old I was. That was no big deal since most high school kids were underage but I remembered how many different papers Ralph had to sign for school all the time. Until I was 18, I would need a parent or legal guardian just to get into school and once I was 18, I'd be a little too old to be going back to school. I was resigned to working for low pay until I graduated, but I didn't want to waste any time.
I knew there was a way that you could get the equivalent of a high school diploma without going to school. One of the younger guys that Ralph worked with had dropped out of school and then in his twenties went to classes at night to finish. He said there was also a way you could study at home and then take tests for your diploma. Of course, that was Pennsylvania and this was New Jersey. I didn't know the details on how it all worked anyhow. Studying at home sounded good to me, though. The less contact I had with the authorities, the better. Maybe I could get some information the next time I went to the library.
Then it occurred to me - Norman. He was a high school teacher. He probably knew everything about how I could finish my education. Obviously I'd have to tell him that I'd dropped out, but I didn't have to say when. And even if at some point it came out, maybe it wouldn't be for a few more months. By then I'd be 17 and he would have seen how well I was doing on my own. I decided to go over to his house and see what he knew.
It was close to nine o'clock and dark as I walked across the park. I tried to plan out what I was going to say. I had never been very good at lying although I'd had more practice lately. I decided that I'd imply that I'd dropped out of school to work a couple of years before. Once I got Norman to tell me how the equivalency thing worked, maybe I could slip in a casual question, asking if it worked the same way for dropouts under 18. Or maybe not. I'd have to play it by ear.
I thought about Norman and our odd friendship. Odd mostly because of our ages. He was probably closer to Aunt Aggie's age than Mom's, which put him somewhere between being a parent and grandparent. I guess I thought of him as an older uncle. Aside from Aunt Aggie, I'd never spent much time around older people but he was sweet and told some interesting stories. And he was a really good cook. I couldn't imagine why he liked to hang around with me. As I got to the edge of the park I wondered if he'd be home. I knew that he did some volunteer work during the week and was involved in a couple of gay organizations. And he had some friends his own age as well. Maybe he'd be out or be entertaining. When I got to the house I could see lights on in several windows so that probably meant he was home. There were no cars in the driveway and the only one on the street was across from his house.
I went up to the front door and rang the bell. I waited several seconds. I was a little nervous showing up unannounced like that and was about to ring again when the door opened. Norman was dressed in a robe and looked very surprised to see me.
"Jerry! What brings you here? Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, everything's okay. It's just that I was in the park and I thought of something I wanted to ask you."
I felt bad because it was obvious from the way he was dressed, or not dressed, that he was probably getting ready for bed, even though it was pretty early. Then I looked down the hall and saw a hot blond guy leaning against the doorway into the kitchen. He was about thirty and his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing a slightly hairy chest. He was holding one of those round brandy glasses in his hand. I panicked.
"Oh, shit, you're not alone. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I've gotta go." I turned and started away.
"Are you sure you're okay, Jerry? You don't have to run off."
'Yeah, I'm okay. See you tomorrow."
I hurried down the sidewalk and turned up the street toward the park. I felt like running but I didn't want Norman to see me if he was still watching. As I walked I got more upset. When I got a ways into the park I stopped and took a few deep breaths. I had been startled to see that Norman wasn't alone. I think I was shook up enough when I realized that I'd obviously interrupted something that was at least a little bit sexual. But what really upset me was that I recognized the guy who was with Norman. He was one of the guys I'd seen stuffing money into his pocket over at the cruising area. He was a hooker, or whatever you call a male prostitute. What was Norman doing with a guy like that?
I couldn't think straight as I walked through the park. When I got to the cruising area it was a lot more crowded than it had been earlier. I wasn't in the mood to watch the cruising so I just kept on moving. One of the regulars, a slightly effeminate guy in his early twenties, stepped in front of me.
"Hey, little stud muffin, what's your hurry?"
"Sorry, I'm not interested." I darted to one side to go around him but he moved too, staying in front and blocking my way.
"C'mon, baby. I've seen you here a few times, always watching, never playing. All the guys want you. How about you and me making them all jealous?"
"I told you, I don't want to. I'm not into this." I moved to go in the other direction.
"Then what are you doing hanging around here all the time? You just into watching?"
He reached out to grab my arm, but I pushed his hand away and ran across the road and up the hill toward the highway. Of all nights for someone to come on to me. I wasn't ready to have sex with anyone, much less a stranger in the park. And especially after seeing that guy with Norman.
When I got to my room I went to bed even though it was only ten o'clock. I just didn't want to think about what I'd seen at Norman's and what it meant. I was hoping that I'd fall right asleep, but I couldn't shut down my mind. I must have tossed and turned for hours with the picture of Norman in his robe and that guy with his shirt open. Obviously they were about to have sex or they had just finished. It never occurred to me that someone Norman's age might still be into sex. I mean, I guess I knew that older guys did so it, I'd seen some at the cruising area, but I'd never thought of Norman that way. He was a sweet, kind man. He was my friend. He'd loved Harry for over thirty years. He wasn't the kind of guy who paid for sex with strangers he'd picked up in the park. But that's just he was doing. It was all wrong.
I did finally get some sleep, although it wasn't much. I felt exhausted when I got up in the morning. I usually skipped breakfast on the weekends since I had to pay for it, but I felt hungry, so I went to McDonald's for an Egg McMuffin, home fries and orange juice. I walked around for a while before going back to the house for my workout with Manny. When he opened his door, I thought he looked as bad as I felt.
"You look like shit. Rough night?" I knew he usually met his friends at Buddies, the gay bar on Broad Street, after work on Friday nights.
"You look as bad as I do, but at least I've got a good excuse. I met a hot stud at Buddies last night. He took me back to his place and we took turns fucking each other all night long. I hope you don't mind if we skip the jo session after our workout. My dick's a little sore."
"No, that's okay."
I wasn't much in the mood for anything sexual at that point. It looked like both of my friends were having sex the night before. At least in Manny's case it was normal, though. I tried to just focus on our exercises, but when we went out for our walk my mind kept wandering back to the night before.
"Have you ever been down to the cruising area in the park by the river, Manny?"
"Sure, who hasn't? You just stumble onto that place?"
"No, I noticed it a while ago. You know I spend a lot of time down by the river. So do you go down there much?"
"Nah, I went a couple of times when I first heard about it, right after I got to town, but I'm not really into sex in the great outdoors. One case of poison ivy in your pussy can be a real turnoff. Why, don't tell me my little virgin is thinking about sex in the bushes?"
"No, you know me, I'll probably die a virgin. It's just that in some ways in seems so hot, all those guys meeting up for sex, but then again I couldn't imagine doing it with a total stranger like that."
"Well, it's not really all that much different from what I did last night. Yeah, at least he and I talked for fifteen minutes or so and he bought me a drink, but we were still pretty much strangers when we got into his bed. It's casual sex either way. Some guys are into it, some aren't. Personally, I like dating, getting to know a guy, spending time with him. But there's something so exciting about doing it that first time with someone you don't know well. It's like an adventure where you just never know how it's going to turn out. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's a total flop."
"I think I'd be a little scared."
"Yeah, that's all part of the excitement."
"I heard that some of the guys in the park do it for money."
"Yeah, I've heard that, too, though I don't think that's what most of them are there for."
"That seems pretty weird to me. I mean, it's one thing for two guys who are all boned up for one another to get it on, but when it's just for money how can it be sexy? I'd think neither one would enjoy himself. The guy paying would probably be thinking how low he was because he couldn't get a guy any other way. I know that would make me feel like shit. And how could the one taking the money get off on it, knowing that he was having sex with a guy he didn't really want? It's business, not sex, and so what's the point?"
"I suppose that lots of it is like that. But there are all kinds of reasons why a guy would pay for sex, not just that he couldn't get it any other way. From what I've seen and heard, it's mostly older guys renting younger guys. The older guys could probably find other older guys to do it with for free, but I guess they don't want that, so they pay for what they want. Or maybe it's just simpler and more efficient. They don't have to waste all that time cruising and flirting, working on a hookup, only to go home alone and frustrated more often than not. They just cut to the chase and go for it. I know one guy who is only 25 and pretty hot, but sometimes he pays for it. He says it's not because he has to, but because when he pays he can be sure of getting exactly what he wants."
"But what about the whores who take the money?"
"My, we're being a little judgmental here, aren't we? I guess there are all kinds of reasons why someone would do it for money. For some it could be an easy way to make a living. Or maybe some are sex crazy and don't want to admit it, so they justify doing it so much by saying they're in it for the money, not the sex. For some it could be an ego-stroking thing. And then again I'm sure that some are just desperate for money. You shouldn't be so quick to judge others, Jerry. You don't know where they're coming from."
"I guess, but it still seems pretty unpleasant to me."
I thought about telling him about Norman and the guy the night before. Manny knew I had an older friend who I spent time with. I decided that I shouldn't say anything. Even though Norman and Manny didn't know each other and I was pretty annoyed with Norman, I still felt like I shouldn't talk about him. He was my friend, after all.
Manny laughed. "Who knows, I may be peddling my ass down there next month and I wouldn't want you dissing me."
"What are you talking about?"
"Last night at work they told us the cleaning company had lost its contract with the state, so as of the first of October, I'm out of a job."
"Shit, what are you going to do?"
"Oh, I have a few ideas. I wasn't planning on cleaning offices all my life, anyway. But don't worry, I don't think I'll be working the park."
When we got back to the rooming house I took a shower and lay down for a nap. I was exhausted. I had also finally calmed down a bit. I was still bothered by seeing Norman and that guy, but I wasn't so emotional about it. I didn't know how I was going to face him for dinner that night, though.
I decided to skip my piano practice and just show up in time for dinner. Norman was a little concerned when he answered the door.
"You're late. I was worried that something had happened to you."
"No, I was just tired so I took a nap and then I was running behind."
I was pretty quiet all through the meal. He'd made shrimp scampi over linguine and it was really good, but I wasn't paying all that much attention to the food. I wanted to ask him about the night before but I didn't know how to bring it up. After we'd eaten and cleaned up the kitchen, we went into the den. He poured himself a brandy and that reminded me of the guy standing there in the doorway. It must have been obvious that something was on my mind.
"Is something bothering you, Jerry? I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk last night when you stopped by. You said you had something to ask me."
I took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Um, yeah, I did, but right now I have something else I want to know. What were you doing with that guy last night?"
I was a little more blunt than I meant to be and Norman looked a little embarrassed. "I've known Blake for some little time. He stopped by for a visit."
"A visit? I know what he does. He's one of those guys who sells sex in the park. You two were barely dressed. It looked like he was doing lots more than visiting to me."
Norman's eyes flashed but when he spoke there was no emotion in his voice. "I really don't see that that is any of your business, Jerry."
"But he's a whore! What are you doing, paying him for sex? It's just not right." Okay, maybe I was still a little emotional about the whole thing.
"That's enough, Jerry. This is personal and you're prying. I don't have to defend myself to you."
"But why, Norman? You're a good guy. You were in love with Harry. Why are you doing something so ugly?" My voice was strained and I felt like I was going to cry.
Norman got up, went over to the little bar and poured a second glass of brandy. He handed it to me.
"Sip it slowly. You're getting distraught and you need to calm down."
I took a sip and it burned all the way down.
"Okay, I don't owe you an explanation for the way I live my life but I can see that you're upset and so I'll try to make you understand. Basically, I'm a man, and even though you may think that 58 years old is ancient, I still have physical needs and desires."
"But with a guy like that? Don't you want a relationship with somebody who's nice?"
"Yes, eventually, but I'm just not ready to move on to that yet. So I found myself in an odd position. I'm not ready to try another relationship, but I've never been one for casual sex, either. About a year ago, I thought of the young men in the park, selling their services. I started going over there, observing, chatting with some of them, looking to see if there might be one I could be comfortable with."
"You interviewed the hookers?"
He chuckled. "Not exactly, but walking Dixie is a great way to strike up innocent conversations with strangers. Anyway, Blake seemed nice. He's a bit older than most of them down there and well-educated." He took a sip of his brandy and thought for a minute. "Yes, I pay him for sex, but there's more to it than that. There's physical affection, which is so important, maybe more important to me than the sex itself. And companionship, too. Afterward, we have a drink or two, talk, maybe listen to an opera. It's just a very pleasant evening. I know that if it weren't for the money Blake wouldn't be here, but I do think that he enjoys his evenings with me as well."
"Aren't I good company? I could hug you now and then if you like. I can always use some affection myself."
"Yes, Jerry, you are very good company. I can't tell you how much our evenings together mean to me. But now don't take this the wrong way, but you are very young. You're charming and refreshing and I'm very fond of you, but it's nice to have an evening with someone a little older now and then. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, I guess so. But you've talked about some of your other friends who are older. Aren't they good for companionship?"
"Yes they are, but there's no sex with them. It's the whole package that I need every now and then."
"I guess I just don't like the idea of you hanging around with those guys in the park."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't. I have Blake's number and when I want to see him, I call and we set up a date."
Now that I'd calmed down and Norman had explained the whole thing, I began to realize that my emotional outburst had probably made me look like an immature kid.
"I was really rude before, Norman. You're right, it was none of my business. I'm sorry. This kind of stuff is all new to me, though. I guess I've led a pretty sheltered life."
"That's okay, Jerry. It's all new to me as well. At times I can't believe that I'm actually purchasing sexual services. It just goes to show that you never know where life is going to take you."
"Yeah, I'll agree with you there." I took a swig of my brandy, forgetting how strong it was and choked.
"And I'll take you up on that hug offer, Jerry. We all need as many hugs as we can get."
It wasn't until I was on my way home later that I realized I hadn't thought to ask Norman about finishing my education, which was the reason I'd gone there in the first place the night before. It was just as well. I was afraid I'd done some damage to our friendship by being so nosy and condemning his relationship with Blake. I decided to wait a couple of weeks and make sure things were okay between us before asking Norman for a favor.