For more than a century Corvallis Academy had provided Oregon's more promising male high school graduates two years of free basic education. Nestled in the foothills north of town, the academy had featured a faculty routinely described as sound if not bold until Nobel Laureate Juergen Mueller M.D. had taken control of the operation in 1997. During his tenure Doctor Mueller had recruited the best and the brightest, had increased salaries as necessary, and had given his staff a free hand.
Two weeks into the fall quarter, Corvallis native Grady Ahern met with his introductory psychology professor, Heath Carrol, who had received his doctorate from Oregon State University the previous June. After waving Grady into a chair, Carrol said, "I understand Mister Flynn will be spending the night with you and your parents." By Mister Flynn, Carrol meant Pendleton's Sean Flynn, Grady's psych 101 study partner.
"Yes sir," Grady acknowledged.
"Doctor Quinlan and I are hoping you'll help out with a research project. Do you consider yourself and Sean good friends?"
"We're getting there," Grady answered.
The Carrol/Quinlan project involved a five-question test. Grady and Sean would fill in the blanks with what they believed to be the other man's answers, then would trade sheets and correct misimpressions. Carrol gave the example, "Suppose question one was 'Sean's favorite color is blank.' If you thought his favorite color was red, you'd write A for red in the first column, but when Sean got the paper and knew his favorite color was C, blue, he'd put a C in the second column." Handing Grady a sealed Manila envelope, Carrol said, "Don't read these until you and Sean have half an hour alone. Will he be riding home with you?"
Grady shook his head, "He needs to go back to his place and pick up his stuff."
After class Sean took the bus to the residence hall, packed clean clothes, and was waiting curbside when Grady arrived. As he climbed into the pickup, Sean said, "Before we go over to your house, my mom says I need to take your mom a present."
Grady drove to his mother's favorite florist, Sean bought a bouquet, and the men continued north to the Ahern's, a four- bedroom two-story located between Porter Park and the high school. Inside, Grady led the way to his room, pleased but unsurprised when Sean gawked.
"Dude this is awesome," Sean said. "You even have your own bathroom."
Grady asked, "Do you want to run before dinner?"
"Let's get Carrol's questions out of the way," Sean answered.
Grady's bedroom had two of everything, desks included, holdovers from an earlier era when he had shared the room with his brother. Grady gave Sean Pat's desk, sat at his own, and opened Carrol's envelope. He handed Grady one of the sheets and read the first question on the sheet he had kept, 'How many times does Sean orgasm per week? A) 0 or 1 B) 2-4 C) 5-6 D) 7-10 E) more than 10'
Although the men had never discussed specifics, Sean had described himself as a horndog, so Grady gave him an E.
Question Two asked, 'What percent of Sean's current orgasms result from masturbation?'
Grady knew that Sean had a girlfriend back home and that he hadn't dated anyone locally. Grady again wrote an E, this time indicating 100%.
Question Three asked, 'Which of the following has Sean done involving a partner of the opposite gender? A) He's been masturbated. B) He's received oral sex. C) He's performed vaginal intercourse. D) He's performed anal intercourse. E) He's performed oral sex.'
Aside from his brother, who'd done everything listed, Grady knew only one man well enough to answer the question with confidence, and that man wasn't Sean but rather Grady's best friend, Connor Blake. As far as Sean went, he'd said he'd been laid, Grady assumed he'd been blown, and the odds were better than even he'd been jacked; Grady wrote 'A, B, & C.'
Question Four asked about fantasies. 'When Sean masturbates, he envisions, A) a same-gendered partner masturbating alongside him B) receiving oral sex from a female C) receiving oral sex from a male D) performing vaginal intercourse E) performing anal intercourse on a same-gendered partner.'
B and D were no-brainers, and Carrol had said that more males than not masturbate with their friends, so Grady wrote 'A, B, & D.'
The last question asked, 'Which best describes Sean's sexual orientation? A) totally straight B) mostly straight C) bisexual D) mostly gay E) totally gay.
Carrol had stated in class that nobody was totally straight; Grady wrote 'B.'
Before Sean had finished his test, Grady heard his parents' car pulling into the garage. He took his guest downstairs and introduced him. Grady's mom appreciated the flowers, she said, and asked if the men wanted pot roast for dinner, which they certainly did. On their way back upstairs, Grady asked, "How many more questions do you have?"
"I've answered them all, but I'm not sure about number three."
"I wasn't sure either -- just guess," Grady said.
Shortly thereafter, when the men exchanged papers, Grady learned that Sean had seriously underestimated his jack-off frequency, that Sean didn't think he'd eaten pussy, and that Sean considered him totally straight. That surprised Grady, because the men had agreed nobody was.
Grady's mother interrupted his perusal, calling upstairs, "We'll eat in an hour -- if you're taking your run you'd better get going."
"Let's hit it," said Grady.
Most evenings Grady ran west on Campus Way to the Irish Bend bridge and back, a five-mile round trip. Trotting toward 35th Street tonight, he said, "I've eaten a girl."
Keeping pace comfortably, Sean asked, "Why'd you think I beat off so much? I hardly ever do it more than once a day -- less in the dorm." Turning south, he remarked, "Sharing a room truly sucks."
One month into autumn, vibrant trees decorated Corvallis just as they did every October; yellow ashes, red maples, and multicolored sweetgums lined both sides of the street. "I had a paper route along here back in high school," Grady said. "The people in the ugly blue house have a hideous dog. He looks like a rotweiller crossed with a pit bull."
Once south of Harrison Boulevard the men picked up speed all the way to the bridge. Resting midspan, watching the creek, Grady asked, "What do you do when you need to get off and your roommate's around? Use the bathroom?"
"That or lie there and suffer," Sean answered. "or sometimes I say 'What the fuck' and just do it. It's not like I've never heard Josh."
"Hearing another guy pounding pud turns me on," Grady said.
On their way home, the men traded information as to whom they'd heard jacking, Sean going first, saying, "I've heard Josh three or four times, and I have a younger cousin that can't keep his hand still once I turn off the lights."
"I've heard my brother, of course," Grady said, "One of my best friends at the high, he stays over sometimes -- I've heard him."
At home, while his guest took the first shower, Grady reviewed Sean's answer sheet, correcting errors. Sean had guessed Grady jerked off C) four-to-six times per week. Grady corrected that by putting an E) more than ten times per week in the far- right-hand column. Question Two asked what percent of Grady's current orgasms resulted from masturbation, and Sean, like Grady, had correctly guessed 100%.
Question Three asked what Grady had done with a female. Sean had guessed that Grady had fucked and been sucked but not that he'd eaten a pussy; Grady added an E before moving on to Question Four. Sean had guessed that Grady only fantasized D) fucking a girl and B) having her suck him. Although those represented Grady's most-frequent fantasies, he'd also contemplated A) jacking off with a male and C) getting blown by a male.
Finally, Question Five asked about his sexual orientation. Whereas Sean had put down that Grady was A) totally straight, Grady wrote B) mostly straight.
Grady had just finished his revisions when Sean called from the bathroom, "What towel do I use?"
"There's dry ones in the closet," Grady answered. He looked at his watch, saw that an hour had passed, and called downstairs, "Can we have another ten minutes?"
"All right, dear, but hurry," his mother called back.
As soon as Sean came out of the bathroom, Grady rushed through his shower, dried himself off, and put on clean sweats. Dinner proceeded uneventfully with Sean showing impeccable manners that would doubtless result in a return invitation. He even helped Grady clean up the kitchen. Drying the skillet, he asked, "You actually jerk it more than 10 times a week?"
"I average just about twice a day," Grady answered.
Sean asked, "Who lives at the other end of the hall?"
"My sister and grandma. They're at the coast for a horse show," Grady said
After the men finished the dishes, Grady's dad kept Sean downstairs discussing the Pendleton rodeo, giving Grady a chance to review Sean's corrections. Upstairs, he learned that Sean jacked a mere four to six times per week, meaning he'd accused Grady of his own deficiency. Question Two confirmed that Grady had guessed correctly, that masturbation accounted for all Sean's current orgasms, but Question Three revealed that Sean had surpassed Grady in one way at least; he'd had anal sex, an answer Grady resolved to pursue. When Sean joined him, he asked, "Who'd you buttfuck?"
"Her name's Heather and she's the one who suggested it," Sean answered.
"My bro says ass is better than pussy."
Sean shrugged, "To be honest, I couldn't tell any difference." Reviewing Grady's sheet, Sean asked, "Who's the guy you fantasize blowing you?"
"Just some generic guy," Grady said. "I love getting sucked." Fearful he'd moved onto thin ice, Grady asked, "Want to start with Dr. Martin's essay?"
Besides taking introductory psychology together, the men were taking cultural anthropology from Dr. Ted Martin, who'd assigned them a five-hundred word essay comparing the burial customs of First-Intermediate-Period Egyptians with those of the Parsis. At ten, bored out of his mind, Grady asked, "Why'd you put down you were bi?"
His eyes still on the monitor, Sean answered, "Because I think I'd like to hook up with a dude. I might join the alliance."
Corvallis Academy enrolled only males, so its Gay-Straight Alliance lacked the lesbian element that attracted so many straights in co-educational institutions. As a result, the males who did join were presumed to be gay, though Grady knew at least two who were not; 'ivory-tower-idealists' described his friends better. "You're a good-looking guy -- you'll get hit on for sure," Grady said.
Sean asked, "Were Parsis the same as Zoroastrians?"
Grady continued to work until he finally finished at ten forty-five, then printed out what he'd written and turned off his computer. After a sizeable yawn, he asked, "How long do you plan to stay up?"
"However long you want," Sean said. "I finished the paper, so I'm looking at porn."
No longer sleepy, Grady left his chair, stood behind Sean's, and saw one of his major fantasies onscreen, a muscular male titty-fucking a huge-chested blonde. "That's strokeworthy -- Carrol should have put it in his quiz," Grady said.
"I had a girlfriend that let me do that till she got my junk in her hair." Sean asked as he turned off the machine, "What should I sleep in?"
Grady misunderstood momentarily and nearly answered, 'Pat's bed,' but before he could say that, he realized what Sean meant. "Whatever you want -- I usually sleep in my shorts."
The men took turns in the bathroom before they stripped to their boxers and climbed into their beds. His mouth tasting of toothpaste, Grady said as he switched off the lamp, "Tell me about the girl you pearl-necklaced." During Sean's graphic description Grady pulled his rod through his fly. When Sean had finished, he said, "That was totally hot. Would you call it your all-time-best squirts?"
"One of my all-time-best anyway. Are you jacking?"
"A little," Grady answered.
"Maybe I'll do it too," Sean said.
The street light outside lit the room just enough for Grady to see Sean's covers rise when he pushed down his shorts. When ripples in the middle of the bed indicated Sean had begun working himself, Grady slid from under the sheets and went to his desk.
Sean asked, "What are you doing?"
"Getting my lube." Taking the K-Y from his drawer, Grady noted that less than half remained in the tube. "I'll need to pick up more of this shit, but there's enough for tonight. Want to try some?"
"Please," Sean replied, uncovering his body, his shorts at his knees.
On Carrol's quiz, Sean had claimed to be bi, but that didn't necessarily mean he found Grady attractive. His brother's fiancee had described Pat's best friend as a dreamboat whereas Grady considered him cullish. Testing Sean, Grady asked, "Did you want me to put it on you?"
"Not too much though," Sean said.
Grady squeezed an inch-long strip of gel on his palm. Sitting beside Sean, he wished he had enough light to see Sean's dick better but feared that turning on the lamp might embarrass his partner. He gripped Sean's hardon, slid his fingers up and down it, and asked, "Want me to bust you?"
"No kidding." Sean slid his hand inside Grady's boxers; he tugged Grady's nutsac. Soon he said, "Gonna cum any time."
Sean's eruption differed from any other Grady had witnessed in real life or in porns. As Grady jacked faster, Sean gurgled, arched his back, and tensed every muscle. Each time his cock spat, he thrust upward; when he'd emptied his load, he curled up in a ball.