Smallville and its characters are copyrighted by DC Comics and Tollin/Robbins Productions.
Warning: This story contains incest between a father and son and some spoilers for the following episodes: Crush, Reaper, Insurgence, Stray and Phoenix.
For the first time in a long time, my father wants me again. Right now he claims it's for business only, but in time I'm sure for much more. The plant is doing well and I've cooled things with Clark, so his dramatic entrance through my study doors took me by surprise.
"I thought you were still in Monaco," I state, trying to contain my excitement. I would have gone with him, but I had to run the crap factory and prove myself worthy of such extravagances. My whole body vibrates when he's near, but it won't do to fly from my chair and run to his arms.
"Ah, the backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy." He quips.
Well I think we've got the secrecy thing down to a science. Neither of us ever really says what we mean or admit to what we really want. He comes short of telling me he's pleased with the way I've handled my little test. I believe the word he used was adequate, but that's as close to a compliment as I can expect from him. I tell him as much. Another lecture on mentoring and Greek history and he finally gets to the point.
"I want you to come back to Metropolis where you will hold the position Special Advisor to the Chairman Emeritus. That would be me."
I want to shout yes as if he'd just proposed to me, but we've been at this cat and mouse thing too long to give in so easily. "At least the title sounds important," I say casually.
"It's more than a title, it's an opportunity. It's what you've been waiting for, ever since you came to Smallville." He's so smug and sure of himself, I feel compelled now to be less than enthusiastic.
"I'll think about it," I say.
Another wasted opportunity. He sees right through me and gives me that laugh again. I ache. I want him to stop toying with me and tell me what he really wants.
"You want to keep me dangling so it looks like you're granting me a favor instead of receiving one? We don't need to play games, son."
"Dad," I pause. I could say yes. I could tell him the truth. We both know what it is and I know now he'll never be the first to admit to it. I study him a bit longer, think about the gamble I'd be taking to just get it out into the open. It's not worth it, I decide. I'd rather have this than nothing at all. "Games are all we've got."
I hit him where it hurts. It's his only weakness. His Achilles heel as it were. "It bothers you, doesn't it? That I'm not dependent on your anymore, that I've made friends in Smallville, people I can trust."
He doesn't flinch, just moves closer into my personal space. If we were alone...but we're not.
"Don't be ridiculous, Lex. I'm happy you're doing well."
He's such a liar, almost as inept at it as Clark and I tell him so. "No, you're not. You're afraid I won't need you anymore."
"You'll always be my son... and you will always need me, Lex."
He's right. But what I really want to know is...will he always need me.
He's in the study, sitting in my chair. I'm drawn by the power of his voice. I half expected him to be here. He's always been insecure about our relationship. I could always count on him to show up at the news of an ongoing relationship or a childhood friend resurfacing (not that there were many of those.) As you may have guessed, I turned down the opportunity to leave Smallville citing my success and friends. Things have been tense between us (well actually intense would be accurate) ever since.
"I celebrate myself and what I assume you shall assume." He says it more like a command than a poem. In spite of myself, I join in.
"For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you." I hesitate and draw closer. He gives the slight chuckle that invariable drives me mad and makes me hard all at the same time.
"Sounds like a description of family, doesn't it?" He's being obviously sarcastic.
"Not ours," I quip.
"Perhaps lovers then," he smiles slyly.
"Since when do you read poetry?" I ask, ignoring that last remark.
His mood changes and I realize I've broken the spell.
He's here because of Pamela. He's always been jealous of anyone who threatened to take his place in my life; her in particular. He says my former nanny is dying. He pries about her motives for visiting. Secure with the knowledge that she's found no place in my heart he leaves.
I fucked up big time. In my ongoing battle for him to see me as a partner and an equal, our little game of one upmanship spiraled out of control, nearly costing the man I love his life. Before I could regain the upper hand, Clark managed to play the hero and upstage me. I heard it in his tone. My father is enamored with the foolish farm boy
I asked how he got in the building in the first place. I could hear the jealousy in my voice. I'm sure Lionel heard it too, his smirk told me as much.
"The boy's resourceful, Lex. What difference does it make how he did it? He saved us. That's what's important."
Clark smiled nervously at my father's words. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he had a crush on my dad. I know something happened between them that time when Clark was acting weird and wanted to run away with me. I shouldn't have left him alone with my father. It's not that I want Clark or even care about him; I just used him to get Lionel's attention. He'd been coming to see me more frequently since I took up with Clark. But if Clark has slept with him, he's broken the illusion and now my father knows it was just a trick to get his attention.
His hand is on Clark's shoulder. I yank it away possessively and try to turn him towards me. He just shrugs my and off and turns away
"Dad. I want you to know I was doing everything I could to secure your release." And that is the truth. Sure I wanted the files and the meteor rocks also, but the kidnappers didn't know how valuable those things were to me and I feared they would kill my father over it. I couldn't live with that.
"Oh, I'm sure you did a great deal," he answers. His voice is laced with skepticism.
His next words nearly kill me. He ran to me when he needed me most and I ruined it over...a need to prove myself.
"I'll send someone to the mansion for my things."
I should have begged him to stay, like lovers do in the movies. Instead I wrapped my pride tightly around me and wounded him even deeper.
"I'll help them pack."
All I can do is watch as one of his drones takes him by the arm and leads him away.
It's been a crazy year. Another failed marriage (she tried to kill me...at least I hope it was her and not...) Lost on a deserted island. No Clark with one of his patented rescues. I survived on sheer will alone. I survived because of him...my father. Had to get back to him. Had to tell him the truth once and for all. Couldn't let it end like this.
Clark would like to think he was the first person I sought out after my return. I let him. The truth is I had to see Lionel...find out why he never looked for me. Had to make sure he didn't try to kill me over her. He had to know I didn't love her. Couldn't love her. As soon as I return from dealing with the treacherous wench I hear the music and know he's waiting for me. I won't waste another chance at getting what I want. My whole life has been a gamble. There's nothing left to lose.
"If I was anybody else's son," I begin, "I would have died on that island. All the tests you put me through . . . made me a survivor. If I keep my pride in check I know there's more to learn from you. I was hoping your offer still stands to run LuthorCorp together.
I lean into his embrace and rest my chin on his shoulder. I feel him stiffen at first. He's not sure what to make of all this. Just as I'm about to break free, he brings his arms around me, lifts my chin gently in the palm of his hand and kisses my mouth. My eyes flutter shut. The kiss deepens.
He whispers against my lips, "Good to have you back . . . Son."