As much as both of their jobs were going well, it didn't' seem that everything in life could never quite fit into place at once. He loved his work, and, well, just being with Mike and family.
Then he'd think about his own family, how his step dad, the guy who `raised' him was convicted of manslaughter and was going to be spending a long time in the slammer.
Yet, he did find his Aunt and grandfather and was making a real life with them, at least as much as one could hope when they had to fast-forward the first twenty years or so.
And now Tony.
Brad could see them both through the kitchen window as he filled the two glasses. Mike, sitting at the top of the back porch stair, with his arm around Tony, petting and stroking him, rubbing this ears, playfully pulling the snout, rubbing the belly.
Watching him lose his appetite was the surest sign of his decline. Tony was always a voracious eater. Except for a certain fussiness regarding all-dry food in his bowl when Mike first got him, the dog would eat anything and everything. The bowl was always spit polished after a meal and he would still be sniffing around the floor for stray morsels.
It was obvious how much the decision about Tony's future weighed on them all, but especially on Mike. Tony was supposed to be for both him and Hanna, the American `welcoming' committee that his parent's arranged for them to have when they immigrated. Hanna and Tony were polite acquaintances, a mutual decision. She was more of a cat person. But Mike and Tony became fast friends from day one.
Kicking open the screen door with one foot as he carried a glass in each hand, Brad called over to the pair on the stairs. "Drink?" he asked.
Mike looked up as the hunky waiter sat down next to him, practically in his lap. Acknowledging the favor with a weak half smile, he added a quick pinch to the back of Brad's bare calf before he took the drink out of the outstretched hand. Dew was already forming along the edge when he took his first sip.
There was a creak to the wooden porch as Brad adjusted himself on the edge. His feet planted on the second stair, forming a row of bare feet with Mike, who now had his favorite guys on either side of him.
"Babe, would you get me a big spoon, like a serving spoon?
"Sure," Brad said, putting one hand on Mike's shoulder to launch himself upward. "But what for?"
Mike gently grasped Tony's ears again, giving them a gentle tug. "I though he'd like something sweet, since he hasn't been eating much, but maybe he'll lick something. I'm not sure it'll work, but we could give it a try."
"Oh, I see. Coming right up!"
When Brad returned with the spoon Mike had Tony's head on his lap as he continued to work his ears. He gave the graying flaps one final tug as the took the spoon from Brad and carefully poured some lemonade into it.
Waving it in front of Tony's nose, the dog gave the spoon a sniff, then struggled to move his head into a position to get his snout within licking distance, finally taking a few laps. Seeing the Tony had licked the spoon clean, he poured another spoonful. And another.
"That's the most enthusiasm he's showed for days about anything. I knew he liked sweet things, but it never occurred to me to give it to him in liquid form." Mike said,
"I wish he would have asked sooner," Mike said with a chuckle, drawing a smile from Brad. It was one of the few times he heard humor from Mike regarding Tony's slow downhill slide.
As they talked, Mike continued the canine massage, moving up and down his body, taking special care with his tummy, Tony's all-time favorite place to get rubbed. In spite of his general indifference now, Mike just continued to give him even more attention.
Alternately looking at the pair and then up into the sky above, Brad tried to think of ways to broach the subject of what, sooner or later, would have to be done. He was just about ready to open his mouth to talk until he heard Mike say something.
"He was the first one that I told about you," he said, looking up at the moonlit sky while his hand continued to move along Tony's spine.
"What do you mean?" Brad asked, perplexed, turning his head toward Mike.
There was pause as Mike adjusted the paws, playfully placing one over the other, then reversing them. "I came home the next weekend, after I got slugged" he said. "Julie and I talked about what happened, but only about the dumb facts, who hit who, how I got messed up, all the damage to the chairs and that guys face, all that stuff. But I never told her then the most important thing that had happened."
"And what was that?" Brad asked, still not knowing exactly where this was going.
Mike cleared his throat. "When I got up to my room the next weekend. I was sitting on the edge of my bed and he came over," he said, pulling up on Tony's ears yet again, just edging up his head. "I told him that I just met, well, sort of met, this really great guy. He was my hero. I told him all about you, what you did, how brave you were, and..." Brad could see him smile, but he stopped talking.
"I don't know about those things, but..." Brad tried to interject.
"...and how cute you were, stuff like that." he said, to which Brad just looked at him, smiling shyly. "But then I told him that I'd probably never see you again. And you know what he did then?"
"No, what?"
"I was petting his head as I was saying this, then, when I said the part about not seeing you again, he, um.., he started licking me."
"Do you think he understood your tone and body language? Brad asked, trying to keep Mike from getting too sentimental.
"Yea, I think so. Or he was just trying to get food out of me, he said as leaned over and bumped his shoulder into Brad ."
He didn't tell Brad that maybe Tony noticed how red his eyes had become, too
Brad couldn't help but be moved. Gosh,' he thought to himself, smiling, I never knew that. I just knew I couldn't stop thinking about him, even with my broken hand.'
Inn spite of the touching memory, however, he was more concerned with Mike in the here and now. Recalling the idea he was about to tell Mike earlier, he said, "I've got an idea for a trip for Tony, for us all, this coming weekend if you're up for it. It would just be a run out to Lake County."
"For what?"
"You'll see. But we should do it next weekend, You, Tony and me. OK?
Mike looked at him, again with a half smile. "OK, babe."
"Mom, what are they doing out there?" Hanna asked, spreading out her students' exam sheets on the kitchen table. After taking an elective class in child psychology that totally enthralled her, she had switched her major to elementary education and was now teaching 4th grade, supporting the both of them. The plan was to start a family in a few months when Kurt finished the orals, the last step to his PhD.
"Just sitting and chatting, I guess," she said, "They're out there most every night after dinner." Mrs. Kovar said as she continued kneading her pastry dough on the kitchen. She enjoyed doing mindless tasks at the end of the day to prepare for more complicated things, like the actual baking, the next day. "and no, you're not in my way." she said with a smiling glance toward Hanna.
"Oops, sorry. I'll give you back some table space for your glass bowl, how's that?" Hanna replied, catching the hint as she quickly scooped up and neatly stacked the student papers next to her laptop.
"By the way, how is their house hunting going?" She asked when she was finally done.
"They've found some places they like, but nothing exactly right yet."
"Mirek being fussy?"
"No, I don't think so, I mean not more that you could expect someone to be when their looking for a house. Especially when he's a Architect, and he's Mirek." Mrs. Kovar noticed Hanna roll her eyes as she took a moment to add some water to her pastry dough. "Do you know that they want us to live with them?"
"Yea, he and I talked about that once, but I wasn't sure he ever broached that with you all." She said, anxious to hear the reaction. "What do you think?"
She continued kneading, but slowed down a bit. "I'd like to, we'd both like to. We don't want to be a burden at all, or in the way, but...I'd like it." It was the only thing she could say.
"Even with maybe some childcare thrown in" She looked up to hear the answer, even more anxiously than before.
"Yes, even with that. Or maybe especially with that." She replied with a laugh. Without letting her Mom notice, Hanna let out a breath of air in relief.
"I like it too, Ma, We've talked about the same thing for Kurt's' dad someday. Us or Todd, but he's still not settled in a relationship right now. Dad Metz can have the same job description."
"Maybe Brad could invite his step dad, too. You'd just have to put up with the clanging of his leg irons," she said with her most deadpan voice as she focused back into the student papers.
Mrs. Kovar didn't look up either, but Hanna suspected that the slight change in the rhythm of the kneading meant acknowledgment. When her Mom stopped and absentmindedly ran her fingers through her hair, that confirmed it.
Continuing to look down at her work, Hanna said, "It's OK to laugh about it mom, even Brad can joke about it now. It won't bring his parents back, but the life sentence his step-dad got kind of gave ol' Brad some satisfaction. Mirek was only disappointed that they didn't add torture to it."
She still didn't let Hanna see her smirk. It was one of those subjects whose humor was best left to the victims, she thought, so decided to steer the conversation back to the subject at hand.
"Brad and Mirek are looking for someplace in Lakewood with an old servant's quarters, where your Dad and I could have privacy, but still be in the same house." she said, pausing for a moment to clear her throat. "Mirek says there's a lot of nice places for sale these days, so they want to wait until it's just the right one. 4 bedrooms plus a private apartment is the ideal.
"Sounds big! I hope they can afford it." She said, for the first time looking up from her work, if only briefly.
"I hope they can too, and not have to stretch too far. They're trying to live on Mike's salary and save Brad's, which they'll mostly able to do by living here. So they've already saved up some money. And Brad's firm helps with mortgages, so that's going to make it possible pretty soon, at least that's what they tell me."
"They don't spend anything on themselves" Mrs. Kovar continued. "They both don't want to buy new clothes, they just want to save for the house and kids. Your Dad and Jill and Brad's Grandpa are the ones who talk them into spending something on themselves" she said with a laugh "Jill really, as you say here "laid down the law' to both of them, especially Brad, about being professional, and clothes being an investment, so on and so on. I think she finally got through. Even your brother has a suit now."
"Wow, Mirek – a suit! It really is a new world!"
.
"By the way, when are you and Kurt going back?" her Mom interjected.
"We're heading over to his Dad's place for a couple days tomorrow, then back school," she said.
"Are you doing OK with money, Hanka? I don't know how you do it, with Kurt in school full-time and you paying off your loans and everything else."
"I don't know, either," she said, then looked at her mom. "But speaking of our loans, do you know that Brad and Mirek sent us a big chunk of money last week?"
Mrs. Kovar paused a moment and looked directly at Hanna for the first time. "No I didn't."
"Just in a nick of time, too. We're poor as church mice, but then again, so is just about everyone we know, so we don't feel too bad. Kurt's stipend covers some stuff, and of course there's my salary, but after rent and expenses and loans there's not much left over at all." She looked up from grading the assignments, then out toward where the guys were sitting outside. "We didn't even ask them for any, they just sent a check."
"I guess that they really know how to invest wisely," she continued, with an easy smile, knowing her mother could read it without even seeing her.
"Besides, we're moving ahead with our lives anyway, no matter how poor we are right now. Kurt has that job lined up that I told you about last week, and we've got lots of stuff we want to do in the meantime."
"We need to thank them again before we leave, babe" her now-husband Kurt said as he headed for the refrigerator, empty glass in hand.
"Sure K, she replied, using her own short form of his name. "Let's just wait until we go, though. We need to make sure that Brad thinks it's an honor. Kind of like tribute, I like to think."
Kurt just shook his head and smiled, still amused by the running battles of wit that his wife continued to carry on with Brad.
"Whatever!," he said as he poured himself some more water.
"You want some, Mom?" he said to Mrs. Kovar. "Thirsty?"
"No thanks, I've got some already,"
Kurt then moved over to the window, water jug and glass in hand. "Hey guys, anybody want some water, or something to drink? Water? Beer?"
Brad looked at Mike, his raised eyebrows repeating the question.
"No thanks, Kurt," Mike said, turning around and looking at the window. "Babe, you want anything."
"Yea. I'll have a beer if you don't mind." Brad said.
Kurt brought out a cold Pilsner Urquell from the fridge. Just as he was about to hand it to Brad, Mike pulled it out of his hand and took a drink. "Just a swig," he said as he tilted his head back and shoved the bottle into his mouth.
Here, babe," he said as he handed it to Brad, who took a swig in turn without wiping off the top.
Brad had only recently given a slight relaxation of the alcohol ban he had forced on Mike years ago. Since the event at Yale, he had been almost seizure-free for the last couple of years. Thought neither one of them could say for sure what had produced those happy circumstances, Brad took it as a sign of good management (and luck) and had only slightly reduced his vigilance.
With a big creak from the old wooden porch, Kurt sat down aside Mike and took a swig from his own glass of water and paused for a moment, listening to the crickets
Putting the glass down, he turned his head to face them. "Hey guys, I wanted to say thanks again for the money you sent us. It really helps a lot. We'll pay you back when I start...
Brad cut him short. "Don't worry about it at all. Consider it an early Christmas gift."
Letting out a deep breath, but smiling at the same time, Kurt decided not to protest, knowing that some day they'd return the favor.
He was about to say something else when they all heard some commotion inside. He turned his head toward the window. "You OK in there?" he didn't hear anything for moment then called out, "Mom? Hanna?"
"Kurt, come here! Mrs. Kovar cried out!"
Before Brad or Mike could even move an inch, Kurt was through the door and inside the house, quickly followed by the guys.
When they got in they say Kurt holding Hanna as she stumbled around, almost dazed.
"Is she...having a ...?" Mike said, afraid to say the word.
Kurt wrapped his hand around her waste, leading her to back to the bathroom. "No, it's not that, at least I don't think so." Kurt said, to the sound of Hanna's moaning.
They heard the door to the bathroom shut when they both turned to Mrs. Kovar.
"What happened?" Mike asked.
"I don't know," she responded. "she just suddenly complained of feeling sick and just about fell over onto the floor. It didn't look like a seizure though. It was something else."
"Maybe it's just the flu, or something else. They've both been working really hard. But I'm really not sure."
Mr. Kovar was already asleep, so it was up to Mike and Brad to do their best to calm and reassure Mrs. Kovar.
They all heard Kurt leave the bathroom and get something out of Hanna's old room, where they stayed when visiting, then he returned to the bathroom. Before he went back in, though, he called out to them that Hanna would be OK.
"Kurt says she'll be all right, so I don't think we should worry, OK?" Mike said to his mom as he put his hand on her shoulder.
"Maybe, I hope so...it came on really fast..." suddenly, Mrs. Kovar looked perplexed, then looked over toward the bathroom with a quizzical look still in her eye. She asked Brad to pull a chair out for her, which he immediately did.
"You OK?' Mike asked as he squatted down beside her.
She didn't answer for a moment, then looked at Mike, then at Brad. "I think I'm OK. I...was just thinking..."
"What?" Mike asked, looking right into her eyes.
Looking away shyly, she said something in Czech, which made Mike smile, though he still didn't know exactly what she was thinking.
"Let's just see what they say, Mirek." Was all he then heard from her.
Just at that time Kurt and Hanna showed up in the room, Kurt's arm draped completely around her. She could now stand up, but looked as pale as they'd ever seen her.
"You OK?" Brad asked, as he started over to her other side from Kurt, hoping to give him a hand with the support, but she gently waved him off.
"I'm OK, but thanks. I just need to sit down a bit here., she said as she maneuvered back into the seat that she had so quickly abandoned only a few moments before, but now with her mother across the table from her.
Mrs. Kovar asked, "Are you all right? OK"? Then she said something in Czech, which Mike immediately translated for Brad. It meant the same thing she had just said in English.
"Yea I am, Mom, its just..."
Her mom looked back at her, a focused look returning to her eyes.
"I thought...we thought...well, Kurt went to get the testing strip to make sure." She said, now unable to hide a smile.
"Sure of what?" Mike asked, still not getting the drift.
"Well, it's early, and a lot of things can go wrong, so we've still go to be careful, but...
"But what?"
" I'm pregnant." She said in almost a whisper, as Kurt beamed beside her.
"Yiiiii!!!" her mother called out, as she jumped out her chair, reaching across the table to hug her daughter. The reach was long, and she was stretched out, but it didn't stop her from putting all her energy into it. Laughing as she released her, Mrs. Kovar pulled herself together and then went and stood in front of her son-in-law. She could barely move, she was so excited, so he took the initiative and wrapped her up in his arms as she stood on tip-toes and started kissing his face all over.
"I...well, in the back of my mind, I was hoping...then I was scared, I thought something was wrong...then I thought...that's what happened to me when I was pregnant...I" It was a display of confusion and happiness and concern all at once, coming on in a wave of emotion that not even a controlled person like Mrs. Kovar could tame.
"Mom, you know these first couple of months will be tough, so I don't want to let anyone out of the family know yet, OK? We'll tell Kurt's Dad and Todd when we get over there, but in the meantime, no one else.
"Yes, yes, I know, but still...but the way is this what you meant by `still moving ahead with our lives?'
Hana and Kurt weren't surprised when, about half an hour after they had gone to bed there was knock on their door.
"It's me!" they heard her Dad call out.
"I knew he wouldn't wait until morning!" Hana said, as Kurt went up to answer his father-in-law's call.
"Why can't we get pregnant?" Brad teased as he threw his arm around Mike, who was lying on his side, facing the wall of the small garret that they still shared but would (hopefully) soon improve on.
"I don't know," Mike said, reaching behind himself with his hand, fumbling around for only a mount until he found Brad's tool. "Nice and hard,' he said, stroking it, then moving his hands down to the balls, "these are pretty firm, too!" Even after almost 5 years, a simple touch from Mike could send him into orbit.
"Um...ugh...you might want to...um" was all he heard.
Ready to make a Baby, too now?" Mike asked, pushing himself back into the hard, hairy chest behind him.
Brad's mouth attached itself to the shoulder that was practically in his face. Off and on, Mike had kept up his workouts and the shoulder was still a nice, round ball of muscle.
Pulling his hand off of the balls and reaching back for Brad's face behind him, he gave the instinctive flex of his bicep that he knew would send him to the edge – fast. Feeling the hard cock pulse into his leg let him know it was `full steam ahead.'
Before Brad knew it, Mike had flipped around to face him, forcefully pushing him back, pinning him (as much as Mike could do – Brad was still bigger and stronger) and taunting him.
"Come on, pussy...jeeze, Kurt's got it in him to get someone pregnant, why not you? Huh? Huh?" he hissed, but not losing his smile. He quickly moved his hands onto Brad's biceps. "come on punk, what good are these big muscles doing you, any way?"
Instinctively, Brad flexed the muscle hard, which Mike could now barely dent with his pawing hands.
"Well, well, looks like Mr. Stud has lost some of his strength. What's the matter, jeeze I can barely feel you!" Brad himself taunted back, as Mike's continued what he knew to be a futile task. "Looks like the boss has to take control here." He said, and with a Herculean effort he pushed a not-exactly-resisting Mike off and quickly reversed their positions, forcing himself between Mike's legs.
In the dim light, Brad again saw the flash of those blue eyes. The exact ones that he saw years before.
"Let's see which Kovar is the most fertile!"
The yin-yang of Brad's life returned only a few days later. First there was the high of Hanna's pregnancy, then there was the absolutely fantastic, incredible, sex that they had that night.
Then there was Tony.
Without telling him where they were going, Brad had lured Mike out for a `short drive,' finally ending up in the parking lot of a dog rescue facility, one that was dedicated to Australian Shepherds.
"Babe, I know you're trying to make the transition easy, but I'm not sure I ready to pick a new dog just yet, I mean Tony is still around, and...anyway, really, I'll be OK...there's no need right now..." Brad's hand on his shoulder helped a little, but he didn't really feel up to the task.
"That's the point, at least I hope so. Let's go in and I'll show you what I think we could do, then tell me if you think it's OK.
Looking over at Brad, he still didn't understand exactly the plan, but just put himself, and Tony, in his hands.
Tony needed an assist out the back of Brad's newish used truck, another purchase forced by Jill's hectoring and a big step up from his old beater. He never did fix the bumper on the old wreck, damage courtesy of Jill the time she rear-ended him, but in the end that was the thing he missed the most about it.
Brad lead them both to the front door, then asked for the operator, Kim. By the tone of their conversation and how he asked, Mike could sense that they had spoken previously.
"You must be Mike," she said, reaching out and shaking his hand. Then, getting down on her knees, she slowly reached out and scratched a graying paw. "And you must be Tony!"
She rubbed him everywhere and had a sweet treat handy, also, which Tony eagerly devoured, a display of energy and enthusiasm that was a big and pleasant surprise for the guys.
"You ready to meet some new friends, boy?" she said to the dog. There was a little wag of the tail, which they all took as a good sign, whatever it really meant. Tony let her lead him into the fenced play area with the other aussies, who didn't seem bothered by the new addition.
Some just continued playing, others kept to themselves, while a couple approached the new visitor. Giving Tony a good sniff, two of them just trotted away, but a third, a red merle named Reese, stayed with Tony, looking him over, sniffing some more. As Tony sniffed back, Reese made a playful nudge to his face, which Tony returned with a little bit of a playful snap, getting a return gesture from Reese.
"He's still got some life in him," Mike said, as Kim approached them.
"Hey, Reese, you have a new friend?" she asked as she stroked his back. "You play pretty rough with some of your other friends, but you're kind of easy on Tony"
"I wonder if this pooch kind of senses that Tony's not in great shape," Mike said as he squatted down next to Reese, who immediately rolled over to get his belly rubbed, an old trick of Tony's.
"How do you think Reese would be around kids?' Brad asked.
"He's as mellow as they come. As I think you know, Aussies can be somewhat rambunctious, but this one's pretty tame. Some might say a slacker," she said with a laugh, "but I say just the strong, silent type".
Mike smiled as he got down to nuzzle Reese, looking at Tony for his reaction. In his salad days, Tony would have cut off any other dog who approached Mike, and he had actually made some faint moves to cut off other dogs who approached earlier. But now he actually just leaned into Reese.
As Brad looked down, Mike was talking quietly to the dogs, first to one than the other. He'd grab stroke their ears and tummies, push them around, try to get an aggressive response, but neither took the bait. Then Mike just looked back up at Brad.
"When the time comes..." he said.
Late one Thursday night, Mike got a phone call from Jill as he was getting ready for bed. Brad was still at work, a not uncommon occurrence for a young associate, and they had just hung up from Brad's regular "go to bed now!" phone call. Even after all this time, he had never slackened his diligence about Mike's getting enough sleep.
"Jill, Hi, we haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?
Silence. Just a hint of breathing.
"Jill? Jill, are you OK."
He heard a sigh. "Hi Mike, sorry." There was another pause. "Um, I need to talk to you guys this weekend. Do you think you could come by Grandpa's on Saturday?
Mike barely let her finish. "What's wrong, Jill?" he asked, bolting up in bed.
Silence again, then another sigh. "I'm OK, right now, but I've got some things that I want to talk to you all about. I haven't been feeling great the last few days and have been staying with my Dad.
"Jill?! What's wrong? Can you tell me anything.
"It's Ok right now, but we should..."
"Can't you tell me..."
"Not right now, OK Mike? Not right now." She sounded exhausted, so he didn't press the issue."
"OK, um...just take care of yourself, OK? I'm, uh..." he was frustrated and concerned but couldn't think of anything or anyway to get more information from without upsetting her, so decided to back off and just be sort of generically encouraging. "...we'll be there Saturday morning, OK?" he finally said, as a way of at least continuing the conversation.
"You sure Brad can make it? I know he's been working weekends and all like a good galley slave" she said, with an ever so slight laugh.
Mike smiled into the phone. "Unless he has a meeting or something else, we'll make it Jill. I'm looking forward to seeing you.
"Me too, she replied
It was a bit of shock to look at her. After all, it had only been a month since they had last seen her. She had the pallor that Hanna had had a few weeks ago, but had also lost weight. She was gaunt in the face and was sitting slightly slumped in the big, overstuffed living room chair, not the erect, posture-perfect aunt that they were used to. There was an old family quilt on her lap.
"Have a seat, guys" she said. Often, they would sit together on the couch when they visited, but this time they sat on either side of her, Brad alone on the couch and Mike on the other chair that was paired with hers, all of them lining an ancient and opulent Persian rug.
She could tell the look of concern on their faces, but didn't want to talk about the obvious quite yet.
"Grandpa is out shopping right now, or else he'd have a morning pick-me-up for you all, or at least for Brad," she said with a weak laugh.
Their was a corresponding weak smile from both of the guys. "That's right, Brad drinks for both of us," Mike said as he adjusted himself in the chair. The living room at the elder Campagna house was a bit too formal for either of them, they preferred the sun room at the back. But it looked like the big chair, which practically swallowed her, or protected her, depending how one looked at it, was where she wanted to be.
"Jill, can I get you something to drink?" Mike asked. "I have to tell you that you didn't sound so good on the phone and you don't look like, how should I say, the picture of health right now."
She just returned a kind of blank stare. "Sorry, don't mean to be melodramatic or anything like that. It's just that..."
Brad moved to the edge of his seat. He didn't want to make this dramatic either, but the obvious change in Jill hit him right in the gut. Something bad was happening.
"What's going on Jill? Are you OK?"
She looked at him and, like the first time she saw him, saw her brother again. It was all there in his eyes. It took everything she had to not break down jus then.
Letting out an exhausted breath, she looked away from Brad, over to Mike, then back to Brad, then just looked straight ahead, at no one in particular.
"Before I say anything, I want to congratulate your sister, We're all excited, your Grandpa and Me"
"Thanks, Everyone's really happy and please. She just has to be careful these next few months," Mike responded. At any other time, he would nave launched into conversation about the whole process and event, but not now.
Brad couldn't hold his breath any longer. "Jill," he said, as calmly as he could, quite a challenge considering his anxiety. "What is going on with you? Are you OK? What is happening?"
She pulled the quilt a little higher on her lap. "A couple of weeks ago I was feeling a little tired. I don't know, nothing particularly bad, but a bit weak. It kind of hit me even doing things that I like to do."
"Like foreclose on widows and children?" Brad asked, trying lighten things up a bit.
"Yes, yes, of course," she said, taking more that the usual time to respond. "But I prefer to wait for Christmas when I do that," she finally retorted, quietly.
She got another controlled laugh out of them, but continued with her story, even smiling a bit longer.
Describing how she felt more and more run-down over time, she was also noticing pain in her abdominal area. With her usually stoic character, she was not one to go to the doctor out of her regular check-up routine. But when she practically fell out of her chair in pain one night while at her Dad's for dinner, he forced her to go to the emergency room.
"They admitted me overnight for observation, giving me lots of test, scans, x-rays, etc., you name it I got it." she said as she grasped her knee with both hands, a gesture that Brad had come to see as her unique kind of nervous reaction.
She didn't continue for moment, just sat there.
"You OK Jill? Mike asked?"
She reached over and patted his hand. She had never really noticed before how masculine it was. Even without a lot of hair, he had deep veins and sinewy muscles that showed through the skin. She noticed unusual things these days.
"I have...ovarian cancer."
The words hit like a brick. There was a heavy silence until Brad spoke.
"Jill, are you going to be OK?" He asked.
There was not answer for a moment, just another exhaled breath, and the sound of bird out the window. "to be honest, I'm not sure...A good chance, they say, but it will take lots of treatment...even then...."
Mike could see that Brad had now turned white, so tried to keep himself focused on Jill and keep the conversation moving. "I...I'm so sorry...Jill...Have you gotten second opinions? How do you feel now? What can we do..."
"There's nothing much we can do, at least for me. I've gotten lots of opinions and had more tests and it's all the same..."
"That's good," Mike said, "I can't imagine you as a passive consumer when it comes to your health." He said with a smile.
"Even now, I'm trying to maximize value," she responded, giving him a wink.
Jill spent the next few minutes explaining, in excruciating detail, the tests, doctors visits, specialists she had seen, the cancer hospital staff, on and on. Her illness and prognosis she wanted to explain to the guys, but she had another subject she wanted to cover, also.
"I remember when you all had talked about egg donors for your kids a while back.. Remember that?"
"That's not important now, Jill. there's lots of options for us..."
She cut him off. "I know there are options for you, Brad. But I have another one for you." She said. Neither of them knew what was coming.
"I'd like to be your donor, guys, at least for this first one. I know you've probably thought about it, or maybe not. But I'd like to do it."
"I thought you didn't want to have kids?" Brad asked.
"I don't Brad, I just don't know if I've got `mom' in me, but you guys..."
"You'd be a great one, Jill, you.."
"Well, thanks, but we'll probably never know that know. But I do want to leave something here, or at least do something good that will last."
"You've done more that you think already Jill, especially for me." Brad interjected.
She looked at him with a very slight smile. "Thanks, but I think it was you who made that all happen, Brad, not me," she said, recalling Brad's determination in tracking her down and bringing them together.
"Anyway," she continued, "There isn't a lot of time to think this over. I'm having a hysterectomy next week, and we need to harvest the eggs before than. The timing is just right for my ovulation and all that. You can freeze them if you want to, but..."
"But what?" Brad asked, looking right at her.
"I know I don't have right to ask this, it will be your child. But I'd like to see the baby, before I... if I" She choked up.
Brad and Mike looked at each other, then Mike spoke. "Jill, we'll do whatever we can to make that happen. I don't know how long things will take, but we'll do what we need to."
She had grabbed some tissue from a nearby box, which appeared to be close to empty. "Sorry, guys, but you know how this is, I guess" Brad reached over and held her hand. "If the treatments go OK, I have some time, but maybe not a lot, maybe 6 months, maybe a year, who knows."
There was a long silence while the guys thought. For Brad and Mike it was as if they were at the beach and a big wave just hit, covering up everything they knew around them. What was happening to Jill? Would she be OK? How can they even think about kids when this is happening, anyway? Even if they did consider it now, are they ready?
Jill's voice brought them back to reality. "By the way don't worry about money. You guys and this kid, and the other ones that you have, get most of my estate. Grandpa sure doesn't need it, and except for some scholarship money I want to leave in Robert's name, That should tide you over."
"Jill, I'm not worried about that. I..."
"I know you're not Brad. Just like your Dad. But, believe me, you'll need to be concerned with money. I look around and I know that kids cost a lot. I see it in my business all the time, the college money, equity loans on the house, on and on. I don't have a huge fortune, but It will make things a lot easier, starting with the surrogate mom. That might be $20,000 or more."
Now they were just floating on this big wave. The earth as they knew it a few moments ago was gone. Typical Jill, she had certainly prepared for this and deluged them with information. In normal circumstances, they would have been overjoyed to be talking about something like this, but not now. She continued talking and laying out her suggestions (she repeatedly emphasized that they were only this,) It was something that gave her strength to keep going, but she could see how the guys, especially Brad, were having trouble.
"Brad, Mike.?" She asked, acknowledging their condition.
"Look at me" she ordered. Brad had to shake his head, get himself back to reality, before he could comply. Mike looked at her, but still seemed dazed.
One more deep breath. "I know this isn't' easy for you all. It's a lot, a lot for all of us. You probably don't' realize this, but I really always wanted to do this for you. I thought maybe you guys were hinting around once before, but I didn't want to ask or pry. And I didn't want to embarrass anyone, in case I might be wrong...
Brad smiled, "um, no you weren't wrong, I remember, one night at dinner we did sort of hint about it. And we have talked about it, I mean you, and all. But it was off in the future. And I never thought it might happen like this."
"Well, now it doesn't matter how it's happening, because this is the way it is. If having a family is what you've wished for, and I think it is, you can't just wait for it to happen in your own sweet time."
"You know all those schedules and plans and schemes you've had spend to much time developing? Well, throw them all out the window. That's what I'm doing with mine." She said, but not sadly. In fact, she seemed to be gaining strength as she spoke. "You've only got that one big goal left, the most important thing of all. And that goal was to have a family, to raise children."
"So no standing around. Get going!"
Thanks for continuing to follow the story! It's been while for this chapter to come together, but I hope you like it. More to come....