Confusion Rains

Confusion Rains - Part Seven

by ds elliot

The story of two gay high school students discovering each other.

All rights reserved. This story may not be distributed on or linked to any other sites including pay sites without the express permission of the author.

Copyright 2004.

This story contains descriptions of sexual contact between two young men. This is a story of intimate sexual contact and discovery. If you are not of legal age in your area to read stories of this nature or if you are offended by stories of this nature, please navigate to another site and stop reading now.

I would appreciate your comments, suggestions, and constructive criticisms. You can contact the author at: dselliot28@yahoo.com

and now for Part Seven...

The week at the cabin was more relaxing than any other time I can remember. We spent most of our time in our new swim suits, and the rest of our time out of them. The wonderfully relaxed sex was invigorating and and renewing. Our time at the cabin was time just for us. We'd never spent time just by ourselves without anyone else as a buffer or barrier. It was so wonderful to be able to hold each other when the mood struck -- wander through the wooded area or along the beach holding hands, kissing when the urge struck, caressing each other when we needed struck to connect more deeply with each other. The week was over too soon.

Ty and I rented an apartment in the same complex as Mark and Lyle. We were two buildings from theres. Lyle gave us some things to consider as we started to look for our own place. He recommended that we rent a two bedroom apartment so that it looked like we had separate rooms if straight company came calling. He also suggested we have that spare room set up to look real and regularly used, including clothes in the closet. He also suggested a unit on the second floor so that no one could look directly in the window and perhaps see innocent behavior that would give away our relationship. We took his advice. Our parents helped by getting us many of the things we needed to set up house. By the time we got back from our vacation the kitchen was stocked with utensils and plenty of food. I'm not sure what it is about moms, but they seem to feel much better when their sons' cupboards and fridges are filled with food. We spent our first night back on the sofa at Lyle's apartment. The next day Ty and I picked up some basic furniture from one of those places that offered rooms of furniture at a set price. We picked out things for the living room, both bedrooms, and a table for the dining area. We rented a truck and moved all of the things in that same day. We were both exhausted by the time we'd returned the truck. Mark and Lyle brought over pizza and beer our first night in our own place. Mom and Dad came back that next weekend with some more things mom was certain we'd eventually need. It seemed we were set for any eventuality.

It really was wonderful to have our own 'big' bed, but I noticed that Ty and I always woke in a tangle of limbs despite having more room to spread out. We had our first guests over after mom and dad left. It wasn't anything special -- just beer, chips and dip, and some other snack food, but it was our first party. We had ,Mark, Lyle, Tony, Rock, and Amy (Rock's girlfriend). It was a pleasant evening with Tony being most of the entertainment that evening. I had the last two weeks off and pretty much alone because Ty was involved with his summer conditioning session. I spent the time practicing my cooking skills. Though Ty never really complained I realized I knew far less about preparing food than I thought. I did learn though that Ty was far better in the kitchen than I would probably ever be. It seemed that he'd fended for himself for years growing up so knew more than the basics. The meals he made were actually very good where mine were often more suited for a direct route from the stove to the trash.

Ty was going to be doing student teaching during the fall quarter at a school fairly close to the campus. He was doing his student teaching at a high school. He was anxious to start that part of his program. I would be completing my degree requirements at the end of winter quarter then starting on my Master's degree in the spring. Once that started I would be spending less time actually on campus and in classrooms. My schedule was lined up to take me through the Master's program within 1 ½ years. Ty would be finishing his degree two quarters before I finished my program. Since I would be on campus anyway I would go through the graduation ceremony at the end of May. My parents really wanted that, and it seemed like the least I could do for them since they had paid for most of my education to this point. I had already started the process of looking for financial aid to cover the cost of my Master's program. I felt that it was up to me to pay for that added time though I was sure my parents would help if I asked. I really wanted to do this part for myself.

Spring quarter was difficult. Ty seemed consumed with baseball. His obligations weren't any different than in past years, but I hated it when he was out of town. His full scholarship also brought with it some obligations to 'entertain' new recruits to the program at the college as well as to schmooze with alumni who would be willing to commit money to the college sports programs. Neither took a lot of Ty's time, but it was all time apart. I hadn't felt so insecure as I did during that period of time. I suppose I was worried that Ty would find someone who shared more of his interests or even worse decide that he'd rather play the straight role than the more difficult gay life we had. Having a gay relationship in the straight sports world was proving to be more difficult than I expected. Ty was more popular than I realized. We'd sent most of our time together at my dorm and not his so I didn't realize just how many guys stopped by his room to shoot the shit each day. Our apartment became a hang out of sorts for many members of the baseball team and guys he worked out with regularly. I didn't dislike the company or the guys for that matter, but we didn't seem to have any real privacy. To me it seemed like we should be growing closer -- and mentally we were, but physically we weren't. We hadn't evolved to a point where we would hug and kiss when we came into our apartment without first checking around to see if anyone else was there. Often times we could only kiss in the mornings or in the evenings after everyone was finally gone. On more than a few occasions we had Ty's drunken teammates passed out on our sofa while we slept in separate beds to keep up the facade.

When I was feeling the anger and frustration with our life I was pissy and bitchy, but I didn't complain to Ty. I needed to adjust my expectations and face the reality of life. I know I still had that fairy tale playing in my head -- the one with the little white cottage with blue shutters and the rich green lawn and roses blooming all year long... oh and that pristine white picket fence that kept the bad wolf and wicked witch at bay. I just wanted 'happily ever after'. I just wanted Ty and me. While Ty was away at the playoffs I went back to my parents and unloaded on my mother. I'm sure she wondered what broke the dam, but all of my frustrations and anxieties came flooding out on her. She let me bitch and rant and complain until I seemed to have it all out. In a calm and relaxed manner she explained the facts of life to me. As we were having our talk I quickly realized that I now wanted Ty and I living in a bubble. I was the one who didn't want the outside world looking into our world. I wanted to keep everyone at arms length. Gradually she made me realize that Ty hadn't changed at all. She further helped me to realize that I didn't want to change the person he was because if I did force or demand change Ty wouldn't be the same man I fell in love with in the beginning. It wasn't easy to hear. It was even harder to accept, but I knew that I had some serious choices to make and the main one was really deciding if this was the life I wanted. I didn't ever doubt my love for Ty. That seemed like a given in any circumstance. What I needed to figure out for myself was if the lifestyle we had was one I could continue to live -- if I could learn to enjoy it. Mom was right on another count as well. I needed something more in my life than just Ty. I had the brief involvement with the Gay Alliance, but beyond that I wasn't involved in any other groups. I had classes and worked out. That was all I did. When I got frustrated with Ty or our life, I would work out harder and take my aggression out on the equipment at the gym. I needed more to do. I also needed to start inviting my own friends to our home more. I needed my own life apart from the one that Ty and I shared.

John, Ty's cousin from Mississippi, wrote me about two letters each month. The letters from him gradually became more personal. Where we first talked about books and his family and town events, he was not discussing his feelings about everything. He first started the letters with 'Dear Brandon' and now they were all started with 'My dearest Brandon'. He signed off in the beginning with 'Your Friend' and moved to 'Your Cousin' to 'Hugs and Kisses' to finally 'Love'. John hadn't come out in any of his letters. He always hinted about being different, but that was always couched in how he read more than other guys his age or liked different things than other guys. Ty and I sent him a beautiful book set for his 17th birthday in February. He sent a 'Thank You' note immediately and told us that he couldn't wait to read the books. He thanked Ty too, but he knew I had picked out the book for him. I had, but Ty was there with me when I was trying to decide which of three different sets to buy. We made the selection together.

Tony wanted to stay with us for the summer. He asked us both on one of his visits. I told him no one could stay with us unless they brought needed skills to the apartment. Ty didn't have time to cook much and I was sick of my cooking -- a couple of times I thought literally. Tony said that he could cook and would be happy to prepare all of the meals. He claimed to be a regular 'Martha Stewart' around the house. I had a difficult time picturing that. He seemed more like an out of control top that would be spinning out of control in whatever room he was confined in. Tony just really didn't want to go home for the summer. He claimed that home wasn't all that great a place to be since he'd come out during his junior year in high school. It was difficult to know if that was true without seeing both sides interact, but I had no reason not to believe him. We told him we'd think about it and let him know. When Ty and I did discuss it later that evening I was surprised that Ty was in favor of the arrangement. Ty's told me his reasoning...

"Brandon, I think it would be good to have Tony around for the summer. It really is only a few months. He'd be good company for you."

"Why do you think I need company?"

"You haven't seemed happy since we moved into the apartment. I thought this was what you wanted, but it doesn't seem like it is. Maybe if you had Tony around to keep you company when I'm not here or just to entertain you all of this would be an easier adjustment."

"Ty, I really am happier here than in the dorm. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Living together was a bigger adjustment than I thought it would be. I knew you were popular, but I never really realized just how popular. I can't believe how many friends you have. Sometimes it seems like they all live here with us. I'm really not complaining. I like a lot of the guys who stop over. I just had a different idea of what our life would be like. None of this is a bad thing. It's just different. I'm still adjusting and learning about you."

"I figured that it was different than you thought it would be. If all the guys coming over bothers you I can tell them to stop."

"No. That isn't what I want. I want you to be happy here too. You would be miserable if your friends didn't stop by. You would eventually hate me if they stopped coming by to visit you. I would like more time alone with you, but I don't want you to stop your friends from visiting."

"Maybe there is a compromise we could find. I'd like more time with you too. What if we set one day aside for just the two of us -- a day with no company or outside distractions. We could spend the day here alone together or take off to do something together, just the two of us."

"I'd like that more than you know. Sometimes I feel like I see you less now that we live together. I'm just being insecure, and I know that. I'm working on fixing that. I joined a book club on campus to give me more to do when you're busy. I've also considered joining a campus gay group just to build some friendships of my own. I didn't have any real friends growing up so I need to change that. I do admit that I am sometimes jealous of you because everyone seems to like you and want to be your friend."

"Don't be jealous. None of the guys means as much to me as you do. I really could be happy if it was just the two of us, but I think I'd get on your nerves pretty fast if it was just us. All the guys really like you too you know. They all think you're cool. There are probably more than a few who come over here as much to see you as me. Look at how many of them hang our with you when I'm not here. Don't sell yourself short. Look at Rock... I know he comes here to see you and not me. You two really get along well. I mean... I knew him in the dorm, but we really didn't socialize. He didn't come up to my room to see me or anything. He's more your friend than mine really. He and I might have more things in common because of sports and our major, but he's your friend."

"I never really thought about it that way before. Maybe you're right. Maybe my insecurities keep me from seeing the whole picture. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself. That's why I don't want you to try to change anything. This is all something I have to learn to adjust to for both our sakes."

"You know I was actually a little jealous when you and Rock were teaching that class. I knew he was straight or at least I thought he was, but when the two of you started going out for a beer or two every week I felt left out. I worried that you might find him more attractive than me. He certainly has a better body than I do. I hated it when you'd talk about him. I finally realized that I was just being stupid, but I was still a little jealous."

"Ty... I can't believe that! I never intended to try to make you jealous. You should have told me. I wouldn't have gone out with him after class."

"I knew you wouldn't have, but that isn't what would have been good for you or me. I might have been a little jealous, but I hoped you'd always come home to me. So far you always have. I can't really ask for more than that. I know you love me, and your love makes me secure. I know you won't just run off with the next cute guy to come along. I know you aren't going to have an affair. I really do trust you. I really want you to trust me too. I would never run off with anyone else. I only really want to be with you. I've really only wanted that since we first met. The problem was that I couldn't admit that at the time. I did more than a few things that destroyed your ability to trust me completely. I'm trying to earn that back."

"Ty... I do trust you. I haven't wanted anyone else. I haven't even been tempted to really look at anyone else. Rock may have a great body, but he isn't the man for me. You are the man for me. I think the only man for me. I know that I'll always want you -- probably even more as time goes by. Please promise me that life here won't change. I want your friends to keep coming over and spending time here. I want to get to know them better and build a few friendships with them as well. Give me a chance to adapt."

"Nothing will change if you promise to talk to me when you are feeling overwhelmed and insecure. We need to communicate with each other outside of our bedroom. We need to be able to talk about everything."

"I agree. I will talk about my issues. I think that will help me overcome the insecurities. First on that agenda is Tony. What do you really think we should do about him this summer? Do you really want him under foot all summer? The kid has a lot of energy. He could end up driving both of us crazy."

"Tony isn't that bad. You're good for him. He really likes you. I think some of your calm might rub off on him, and that would be a good thing. You don't really see him when it's just the two of you talking. He is really a different person when it is just the two of you. He certainly needs you more than you need him, but if he can cook he's got my vote. I'm not really complaining 'cause you know I'll eat nearly anything, but you need to look into a cooking class."

We both laughed at his comments. Ty never complained no matter how bad my cooking was. He always ate it. I'm sure on more than one occasion he likely regretted his choice to actually eat the food I prepared. Usually I couldn't even eat the shit. We agreed that Tony could spend the summer with us. We'd put him up in the spare room, and the first thing we would do is test his cooking skills. As long as he was even marginally better than me in the kitchen he would be a very welcome addition to the household.

Tony moved in after his last final. He had even less than Ty. Maybe it was just me, but I had all my favorite toys from home including three times as many clothes. Tony was the oldest of five kids, and boy could he cook. He told us he learned because it was his job to start dinner during the week and watch his younger brothers and sisters. As we got to know more about Tony, it became obvious that he had what could only be considered a miserable home life. The family was lower middle class, but that wasn't the root of his troubles at home. His working class parents just couldn't understand why or accept that he was gay. As a result of that lack of compassion came a second class status at home. He wasn't the treasured first son he had once been. While there wasn't open and direct hatred displayed towards him, he was neglected and ignored.

As I watched Tony over the summer I did notice what Ty mentioned about Tony's behavior around me. He was more calm and seemingly more at peace with himself and the world around him when we were together alone. There wasn't anything Tony was afraid to talk about no matter how personal. I learned that his first sexual experience was forced on him. Tony was hanging around a gay bookstore one evening. A man talked with Tony and eventually invited him to his place to watch one of the porn videos that man bought. Tony was anxious to see his first gay porn movie, too trusting, and thought the guy was nice enough though not at all what he was attracted to sexually. At the man's home he served Tony a beer before the video began. The man talked about masturbating together while they watched the video. Tony said that he was reluctant, but was so hard during the first five minutes of watching the movie and the older guy sitting next to him on the sofa rubbing his hard dick that he eventually took his pants down. That seemed to be the only invitation the guy needed. Tony said that the man kept touching his dick and balls. At first Tony tried swatting his hand away, but eventually allowed him to touch him. Before Tony knew what was happening Tony found himself kneeling in front of the sofa with his face pressed into the cushions. The man raped him. Tony was ashamed and embarrassed and more than all alone since he really didn't have anyone to tell. He was afraid to report the rape or tell the police. Tony felt guilty because he went to the guys house in the first place. He said that he cried all the way back to his home and sat in the backyard crying the rest of the night. When he finally did check himself the next day there was some dried blood in his underwear. He was more scared at the discovery of the blood that he decided that he needed help. He took a bus to a free clinic a few days later to get checked and tested. He didn't tell them he was raped only that his partner was too rough with him. Tony was lucky that there was no serious damage, and the tests showed no disease.

Tony hadn't had any sexual experiences since he was raped. He had kissed a couple of different guys since he'd been on campus, but was afraid to have sex. I had no idea his life was so miserable. I helped him sign up for therapy at the school center. If nothing else he would have someone with good experience to help him get over the rape and trauma it caused him. He was too nice to be hounded by those horrible memories.

Near the end of August Ty got a call from his aunt in Mississippi. It seems that John had run away. He'd been gone for over 24 hours when she called. She thought he might be headed towards us. She wanted Ty to call her if we heard from John or if he showed up on our door. When Ty told me what she said, I was more than a little worried about John. He was mature for his age, but really had no idea of life outside his small little town. We hoped he was safe, and I think we both hoped he was on his way toward us rather than to some other location where he'd likely run into more trouble like New York City or Los Angeles.

Ty called his aunt two days later when we hadn't heard from John. He found out that John hadn't showed up at home either. He did his best to calm her saying that he was probably hitching his way toward us and might not be getting rides as easily as he'd hoped. We learned that John didn't have much money with him -- probably less than a few hundred dollars. He could have purchased a bus ticket for that price. Finally five days after the first call John showed up at out door shortly after Ty left for his conditioning classes. Tony was still sleeping so John and I talked in the living room. He claimed that he couldn't stand to live in Mississippi for another year so he ran away. He came to me because he knew I would help him. When we discussed what he needed help with he was evasive at first and then finally told me that he was gay. We talked for two hours about his life and the choice he made to leave home. By then Tony came wandering into the living area on the way to the kitchen. John leaned over to ask me who the guy in the kitchen was. I told him he was a friend who was staying with us for the summer. John seemed relived at that news, but I wasn't at all sure why at that point. Tony had a habit of wandering around the apartment in his underwear in the mornings. He hadn't noticed John yet so he was a little shocked to see John sitting next to me on the sofa when he walked in with his coffee and his skimpy briefs. Tony had been around both Ty and I in the locker room so didn't feel uncomfortable wandering around in his underwear. Ty did the same thing in the mornings so I couldn't bitch at one without bitching at the other, and decided I really didn't mind the view all that much. John said 'Hi' as Tony walked in and was about to plop down on the chair. His ass was about a foot from the cushion when he realized we had company. It was too late for him to stand back up so he sat down and quickly stood back up trying to decide if he should sit down or run out of the room. He finally said 'Hi' and did sit back down.

I introduced Tony and John. We all talked for a little while. Tony really liked John's heavy Southern accent. The two of them talked about their interests and tried to find common experiences. John had read some of the same books that Tony read so they busily talked about books for a while then eventually started talking about their homes. John didn't tell Tony he was gay, but Tony either 'knew' or guessed that he was. Tony didn't say anything offensive or anything, but just related to John on the basis that neither was really understood or accepted at home. After an hour of their talking non stop, Tony said he had to make breakfast. John offered to help him and so they headed to the kitchen. The three of us ate a short time later. After breakfast Tony left to shower and dress for the day. I asked John to call his mother to at least let her know he was safe. He agreed to call her, but he insisted that he wasn't going back.

John's call to his mother ended with him hanging up on her after they argued. We talked briefly about the call, but he was angry and hurt. I suggested that he take a shower and asked if he was tired. He told me that he hadn't slept much the last several days so I told him to climb into my bed and sleep for a while. He slept until dinner. While John was sleeping, Tony wanted all the details about John. When he pestered me to know why John was here, I deferred to John to give that answer. Tony wasn't happy about that, but he knew I wasn't likely to give him more information. I asked what Tony was making for dinner. That got him focused on something new. He decided that he wanted to make something special for John. John wasn't exactly the type I'd have expected Tony to get excited about because he didn't have the professional body builder look. John was about the same height as Tony, but John was better built most likely from physical labor on the farm. He was strong and solid but his personality and demeanor were so soft and gentle.

Ty came home tired and sore. I told him that John had arrived. He was glad that he finally made it and was safe. He asked if I called his aunt to let her know he was here and safe. I told him about John's conversation with his mother. Ty figured he should call her, but he wanted a shower first. Ty's phone call with his aunt was a little strained. His aunt told Ty that John obviously didn't want to be at home with his family so she didn't feel that she had any control. John told his mother that he'd just leave again. Since it wasn't that long until John would be 18, his mother asked if he couldn't just stay with us. She pleaded with Ty to keep him and see that he finished high school. At that point I think she just wanted him to be somewhere safe and not on the streets. Ty tried to assure her that everything would be fine. I was struggling to understand what was being said on the phone by just listening to Ty's end of the conversation. After Ty hung up he told me the details of their talk. Ty said...

"It looks like Aunt Emma has come to the conclusion that John will just run away again if he's shipped home so she wants us to keep him here if that is what he wants. Has he told you his plans? Is this just a stopping point on his way to somewhere else or is this where he was headed?"

"We really didn't get that far in our talk, but I'd be willing to bet that this is his destination. Ty, John told me he is gay. He told me how miserable he was at home and how lonely he was. He told me he couldn't take another year living in Mississippi. I agree that he'd likely just run away again if we shipped him back. What scares me about that possibility is that he probably wouldn't run back to us next time. I would hate to see him in a worse situation."

"So you want him to stay with us?"

"I don't know Ty. It's all so much so fast. I certainly don't want him running way to someplace where he isn't safe. I don't know if we are ready to be parents to a teenage boy. There is a lot of responsibility involved here. I don't know if we are emotionally ready for that let alone ready to commit the time and effort necessary to be substitute parents to a guy we really don't even know that well. Our schedules are already full with school."

"I agree with you completely, but what do we do? Do you want to tell him that he can't stay?"

"God, no. That would make his life even more miserable that it is now. We can't just kick him out. I guess we will really have to sit down and figure all of this out together. It's going to be a challenge for all three of us. He's such a good guy with such a tender and caring heart. I could never send him back or send him somewhere else. I suppose the best thing we can do for him is to try keeping him here with us. I'm sure he'll want to finish high school."

"Brandon, I'm so glad to hear you say that. I couldn't kick him out or send him back. He's family. It's a connection I've never had before. I want to give him the chances I didn't have. I'll take most of the responsibility for him, but I will need your help. John has always responded better to you than anyone so I know he will always go to you first. You have this wonderfully calming effect on people for some reason. He trusts you, and he knows you better from all the letters you've written each other over the past year. If we hadn't taken that trip, John may have felt so alone and hopeless that he may have tried suicide. I hate to think of that, but it's a reality. Life in a small Southern town can't be very easy when you're gay."

"I hate to think of that possibility, but I know you're right. John's told me hundreds of times how awful life was for him at home -- and not because he didn't have a good family but because he just felt so alone. I do want to help him find his way. It won't be easy for any of us, but John is a smart guy. I think he will be more than willing to help us help him. We'll need to have a long talk with him to explain his options. I think we should do that together, but I really think we should wait a day or two so he is more rested and comfortable here."

By the time we finished talking Tony had the table set and dinner nearly ready. Tony really went out of his way to create a nice setting. He picked flowers from the various beds around the complex so we had a bouquet of fresh flowers and candles on the table. It looked more like a romantic dinner for four than one of our regular meals. Tony wanted to wake John so we let him do that. Tony was all smiles when he came back to the kitchen/dining area. A few minutes later John came our to eat. He looked tired still, but he seemed better for the rest. Dinner was pleasant. Tony told Brandon and I to stop talking so much and let John talk because he really liked his Southern accent. Brandon and I just looked at each other and grinned. After dinner John offered to clean up. Tony told him he was happy to have the help because usually he was treated like a slave around the place. We all laughed at poor, abused Tony. I told John to go talk with Ty while I helped Tony clean up the kitchen.

Tony and I talked as we cleaned up the kitchen. I said...

"Tony, it seems like you might have a crush on John."

"He is kinda cute. How old is he?"

"He's 17. He's a little young for you to be chasing."

"He's only a couple of years younger than me. Besides I'm not chasing him. I just think he's cute, and I love his accent. It's really sexy. I never thought an accent was sexy until I heard him talk. I could listen to him for hours."

"I think you're just horny, Tony. What doesn't turn you on?"

"Good question! When I find something I'll let you know. So is he gonna stay with us? He can share my room. I don't mind."

"Don't you think we should ask him first?"

"Lets surprise him!"

"That wouldn't be a good surprise I don't think. He'd probably be scared to death if we told him he had to sleep with you. Besides the poor guy probably wouldn't get a wink of sleep."

"You make me sound like a slut. I'm not that bad. Besides, I was just offering him half of the bed. It's not like I'd ever attack him. I know what that's like and would never do that to him or anyone else."

"I know, Tony. I was just teasing you. I was going to suggest that he sleep on the couch for the time being. School starts soon so you'll be moving back on campus in a little while. He can have your room then I guess."

"Damn! I'm not even out the door, and you're giving away my room. I really wish I could just stay here, but I know that isn't practical. I really do appreciate you guys letting me stay here for the summer. It was so great to be in a home where you can be yourself. I really can't thank you both enough."

Tony kissed my cheek after his last remark. We'd finished up and headed into the living room to join John and Ty. As we all got comfortable, John said...

"I know it probably wasn't smart to come here without an invitation or at least telling you ahead of time that I was coming. I know I have created problems for you. I didn't really think about those things when I left. I was only thinking of how miserable I was and wanting to get away from that place. I don't really know what I expected you to do for me, but well... I guess I hoped I could stay with you guys."

"Your mom is pretty upset." Ty said. "I called her while you were sleeping. She seems convinced that you would only run away again if they bring you back home. She was very worried about your safety... we all were. Thank God nothing happened to you as you hitched your way here. There really are a lot of sick people in the world who prey on innocent guys like you. You are very lucky you arrived in one piece."

"I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for years." John replied. "I know my family doesn't understand why I left. I wanted to tell them, but I'm not ready to do that yet. I will when the time is right -- when I can fend for myself better. I know they won't want me back when I tell them I'm gay. I know you both go to school, and I know you aren't rich. I can get a job if you let me stay. I will pay my own way. Once I save up some money I can get my own place."

"What about finishing school?" I asked. "It seems to me that should be the first thing you do. It's nearly impossible to get a decent job without finishing at least high school."

"I'd like to finish high school. I'd really like to go to college too, but those things will have to wait until I can save some money for them. Right now it seems to me like the most important thing is to make sure I have a place to live and food to eat. I thought about what I'd be giving up if I left home. I spent a lot of time thinking of options. I think that once I find a job I can finish high school maybe in night classes or during the day depending on when I work. I can also do the same thing at a community college... at least to start. I know it isn't going to be easy for me, but I'm not afraid to work. I've been working on our farm since I was first able to do anything. It isn't like I don't know how hard it will be, but no matter how hard it is I know my life will be better. More than anything I just want to find other people like me so I have someone to talk to about things. I have so many questions. I hoped I could come here to get the answers."

"Your mother really wants you to finish high school." Ty said. "We want that for you too. Brandon and I talked earlier about all of this. Having you live with us is a big responsibility for us. You are still a minor so we would be responsible for you. We'd be your guardians until you turned 18. We are both very busy with school, and neither of us has any experience at parenting. If you decide to stay with us, you have to finish high school. You will also have to help us out a lot along the way. You're going to have to be open and honest with us so we know what you need along the way. You will also have to help out around the apartment. Brandon can't cook for shit so cooking is a much needed skill here if you want to eat."

We all laughed at my expense. John said...

"If you let me stay, I'll do whatever you want. I can cook. Everyone learns to cook on the farm. I won't be any trouble for you at all. I will stay out of your way and do whatever you tell me."

"John, we aren't looking to tell you what to do." I intoned. "If you stay we want this to be your home. We will be a family of sorts -- all doing things for each other and depending on each other. Despite Tony's earlier comment, he isn't a slave here. We don't treat him that way. The most important thing from our point of view is that you finish high school and decide what you want to do after that. We will help you any way that we can. We do want you to stay with us."

John came over and wrapped his arms around me. With tears in his eyes he thanked me for letting him stay. I held him as he cried himself out. As John sat back and dried his eyes Tony pulled him into a hug. Tony welcomed him to the family telling John that he really liked having someone his own age around the house because he was tired of talking to the old guys all the time. Tony then kissed John on the cheek and continued to stroke his back as he hugged him tight. The atmosphere in the living room seemed to lighten noticeable when John relaxed into the sofa between Tony and I. Ty went to bed early because he was beat. I continued to talk with Tony and John as we all got better acquainted.

John did make his bed on the sofa until Tony moved back on campus. Tony and John did a lot of things together -- from chores around the house as well as other activities. Tony showed John around our area as well as the campus. I learned later than Tony told John about his rape. They discussed it in great detail as Tony told John to be careful and make sure he knew who he went home with because there were dangers out there. John didn't seem to be anxious to have sex. I think he was still adjusting to being gay and being able to discuss it with others. I was certain he probably had a healthy and typical sex drive... it just hadn't surfaced yet. I wondered how we would handle that aspect of his life when it did.

Ty got a package from John's mother. She included more clothes for John as well as a signed form giving Ty legal custody to act as John's guardian while he was with us. She also sent school records and his birth certificate. Ty and I took John to the local high school to get him enrolled. It didn't take long and seemed to be fairly easy. We could see from the records his mother sent that he was a very good student, getting excellent grades and very positive comments from all of his teachers. He was signed up for the required courses he would need for graduation. He picked from the list of electives to fill out his day. He was so amazed that he got choices. Back home it was a standard program and everyone took the same classes. He had a hard time narrowing down his choices. He was interested in so many things.

Life fell into place fairly quickly. Our only bottleneck in the mornings was the bathroom with all of us basically trying to get ready at the same time. We did work around the difficulty and all handled it well by getting use to sharing the space as much as possible. Ty used my car to drive to his student teaching assignment once it started. When he did he took John with him because he attended the same school. John was feeling pretty good about his new life. Making friends didn't happen as quickly as we'd hoped, but that eventually changed once John became comfortable. Life in the much bigger city was very different than anything John was used to or anticipated. He did adapt to the many changes easily. John also found a part time job at a small Italian restaurant not very far from the apartment. He was working about 25 hours each week. It didn't give him a lot of money, but he could at least buy some things he wanted. He told us he'd give us his paychecks to cover the extra expense of having him in our home, but we told him to save his money for things he wanted. It took some convincing, be he agreed that he'd need a few things that he didn't already have.

Tony was making rapid progress in dealing with and moving past the rape. He seemed to believe the therapist when he was told that it wasn't his fault. Hearing that from an older adult seemed to be the push he needed to get on with his life. In mid November Tony asked me if I would mind if he asked John out on a date. I was a little surprised that he'd ask my opinion first. I trusted Tony and didn't see any problem with the plan. I told him he could ask John. Tony seemed to be in a bit of a panic then. I asked what the problem was. It turned out that Tony was just scared to ask him out. He didn't want to be rejected. He wanted me to see if John had any interest in going out with him.

As expected John wanted to go out with Tony as much as Tony wanted to go out with John. They were both so cute. Ty and I both had to choke back laughter as we watched John get ready for the 'big' date. Tony was taking John to a movie on campus and then to the food court at the Student Union for something to eat after. John wanted to know what time he had to be home. We asked what he felt was fair. He thought he should be able to stay out until 1:00. Ty and I agreed that seemed fair.

I got up when I heard Tony leave the apartment. John was bubbling over with excitement. He told me all about their date. They shared popcorn at the movie and held hands during some of the show. After they ate they walked around campus then went back to Tony's room. Tony's roommate was gone for the weekend so they kissed a lot. John seemed to really like Tony. They didn't do any more than kiss and touch. He told me Tony thought he had a really huge penis. John was pretty pleased with himself that Tony gushed so over his equipment. They had a good first date. I was happy for both of them. I started thinking that John and I would have to discuss sex in detail before too long. I was fairly certain gay sex was something his parents hadn't covered with him.

A couple of days later John and I were home alone in the afternoon. John beat around the bush for a while before he came out and asked about sex. He was quick to tell me that he wasn't planning to have sex with anyone, but he had some questions that he wondered if I would answer for him. We had a very open and frank discussion about all aspects of gay sex. During our conversation he told me that his church preached that it was a sin to masturbate and that having gay sex would send you straight to hell. I asked if he masturbated. He told me he didn't all that often... that he tried to resist the urge to do it. I explained that there really wasn't anything wrong with masturbating. At first he acted like he didn't believe me, but gradually asked more questions. He started to realize that his very conservative religious upbringing would get in the way of a gay relationship. He told me that he would have to work to get over so many of the things he'd been taught over the years. I agreed that he'd have to in order to feel comfortable in the relationship. We had our work cut out for us. He didn't want to just have sex to have sex. He wanted to wait until he was in love with someone. I asked about Tony. He cared a lot for Tony, but he wasn't completely sure if he was in love with Tony or not. While I wasn't encouraging sex with Tony, I did want John to know that it wouldn't be wrong if something happened between the two of them. I also wanted him to know that he shouldn't feel guilty if he did have sex with Tony. Before we finished our conversation, John was again trying to ask a question that he couldn't quite get out. I told him to just ask whatever he wanted to know. He started by telling me that he'd never seen any guys naked except for his younger brothers and was wondering if his penis was really as big as Tony made it sound. I told him what an average size penis measured, but he hadn't ever measured his. He was a bit frustrated and embarrassed and asked me to just come to the bathroom and look at it. I did go to the bathroom with him and he did show it to me. It looked to be about 7 inches long, but it was very thick. I told him what I thought about his dick. He seemed to be pleased to know that it was bigger than average even though he was extremely embarrassed. He asked me not to tell anyone that he'd showed himself to me. I told him that I wouldn't discuss it with anyone.

Ty and I were going to a party at Lyle's the coming Saturday evening. John asked if he could invite Tony over to watch a movie and hang out. I told him that would be fine. When we got back to the apartment about 1:00 both Tony and John were scrambling to get back in their clothes when we walked in. Both were flushed and breathing hard. Ty couldn't help but mention it too them and asked what we interrupted. Tony said that they'd just been kissing. Of course Ty asked where Tony was kissing John since his pants weren't zipped. John was so embarrassed and pulled a pillow over his crotch. Ty stopped teasing them after he felt he'd made them uncomfortable enough and headed to our room. I went to get a glass of water from the kitchen. John came out and started to apologize. I explained that Ty was just teasing them. I was fairly sure they hadn't done anything wrong. John asked if Tony could spend the night. He insisted that they were not going to have sex. He just didn't want Tony to have to walk back to his dorm alone. I agreed that Tony could stay and mentioned that we had some condoms and lube in the bathroom if he changed their minds about sex.

I woke up at the usual time so went to make coffee. While in the kitchen John came in. He was just wearing boxers. He'd never got past the bathroom without being fully dressed. He sat at the table and told me about the rest of his evening with Tony. They got undressed and climbed into bed. They continued to kiss and hold each other. Eventually they both got naked and jacked each other off. John was pretty excited as he told me how great it felt. He couldn't believe how much better is was when someone else was doing it. He told me he shot gallons of cum. I asked if we needed to change the sheets. He said that Tony used his t-shirt to clean up the mess. I just laughed at him. He was definitely beaming. He said he was going back to bed. His plan was to gently wake Tony so they could do it again. I had a feeling it wouldn't be long before they progressed to other things as they explored their sexuality and each other.

Tony stayed with us again over the Christmas break. He didn't want to go home unless he didn't have a choice. We were use to having Tony around so it wasn't an inconvenience at all. Tony was sleeping with John so it wasn't like we had a body in the living room to contend with each morning. John and Tony had progressed to oral sex. They were spending a lot of time alone in the room. I'm sure they thought they were being sneaky about it, but young guys don't take 'naps' every afternoon and certainly don't go to bed early each night. Ty and I got a good laugh out of it, but we were careful not to pick on them or cause problems for their budding romance.

Our first Christmas in our apartment was nice. Everyone got into the decorating. We had a combination of things -- most obtained at the thrift stores. Our tree looked pretty sad, but was beautiful to all of us when it was decorated with ornaments and multi-colored lights. The four of us had presents for each other under the tree so there were several packages to complete the picture. We had our Christmas dinner on the 22nd then opened our gifts to each other that evening. The next day we all went to my parents home for Christmas eve and day. My parents were amazingly gracious about having the strays join us. My mother made sure that each of them had a couple of packages under their tree. Ty and I took the guys with us to Christmas Mass. Tony was raised a Catholic but his family didn't attend church on a regular basis. He was happy to go with us. John seemed to find the service much more pleasant than he was used to at home.

Prior to John's 18th birthday Tony asked if the two of us could talk privately. We went to a quiet area of the Student Union for lunch the next day. Tony told me that he and John had been talking about trying anal sex. Tony was concerned that he could never get John inside him without a great deal of pain. Tony went on to tell me that John was so big. He was worried that he wouldn't stretch that wide to be able to accommodate him. He asked it there was a way to stretch himself before he tried it with John because he really wanted this to work and not hurt. He asked if I would go with him to get a dildo so he could practice a little first. I asked when they planned to do it. He said that they didn't have a time set yet. Tony's idea was to do it for John's birthday. I thought that a really sweet thing to give another for his birthday. It would be the only time either could give their virginity to another. The next evening found us 'appliance' shopping in some of the seediest stores. I was just as fascinated as Tony by all the things that were for sale. I decided that I'd pick up a few toys too for my own use. By the time we were finished shopping we had several interesting things. I admit to being a little embarrassed when I paid for everything, but Tony and I laughed about it all the way home. Tony was giddy all the way back to his dorm room. He didn't want to take his purchases to his room so I took them home with me.

The following Saturday Ty took John with him for the day. Tony came over to practice with his toy. I spread a large bath towel on the bed and gave him a tube of lubricant. I told him the basics of what to do with his fingers before he tried to put the dildo inside. Tony came out about 1 ½ hors later with tears running down his face. I asked him what was wrong. He told me he couldn't get it inside. He'd been trying and trying, but it wouldn't go in. I wanted to laugh at him, but I knew he was frustrated and not in the mood to laugh about the whole situation. After talking about it for a short time, Tony pleaded with me to try. It wasn't what I wanted to do with my afternoon, but I did finally agree to help him.

Tony was tense as we walked to the bedroom. He stripped and was even more tense. I tried to get him to relax. We just talked about things while he got on the bed. I stroked his legs and ass to help him relax. It took some time, but I could feel the tension start to drift away. I just ran my finger around his opening so he'd get used to the feeling and sensations. As I rubbed over the opening he was relaxed enough for my finger to slip inside. I slowly slid my finger back and forth while twisting it and trying to stretch the muscle. He was surprised when he realized he was erect. That caused him to be embarrassed again and his muscles tightened. Talking and continuing to slide around inside him calmed him. I got two fingers inside without any difficulty. I tried stretching the muscles as I talked with Tony to keep him calm. Adding the third finger was a bit more difficult, but it went in without much discomfort. After about 10 minutes with three fingers inside I started taking them all the way out and putting them back in. It wasn't pleasant the first time, but Tony relaxed more the second time. The third time I eased the dildo inside. He was stretched wider with the dildo inside, but his discomfort was minimal. I slid it in further. At that point he realized I wasn't using my fingers on him. He was so excited that it was in that his muscles tightened . I got him to relax again and continued to slide the thing around inside of him. He was excited and leaking a little. He got more excited when I rubbed the thing over his prostate. He wanted to know what caused that feeling he had so I found it again with the dildo. I explained what that was. He was happy to know there would be some pleasure for him once he got John inside of him. Tony seemed to find the experience much more enjoyable than he expected. His first experience must have been extremely painful. I felt confident that he would be able to take John inside with discomfort but the discomfort would pass now that Tony understood that it didn't have to hurt the whole time. I left Tony to play more with his toy while I went back to my schoolwork.

When Ty and John finally got back to the apartment, I was more than ready for some time alone with Ty. I drug him off to the bedroom while John started to fix dinner. My 'work' with Tony had me more worked up that I realized. All I could think about what sex. Ty was surprised, but he didn't complain as I thoroughly ravaged his body. John knocked on the door to announce that dinner was ready. We then realized that we'd been going at each other for two hours. John was snickering when we finally came into the kitchen. His only comment was something to the effect that 'it sounded like we had a good time'. Ty laughed as I blushed. Ty then told John that he didn't know what I was studying that made me so horny but he hoped I'd reread that chapter again. He and John laughed together as dinner was brought to the table.

Tony gave John his birthday present. No one slept that night. It wasn't so much that they were that loud, but the fact that we were curious to know how it would go for the two of them. The action in the other bedroom also sparked some action in our room. The next morning at breakfast both guys looked a little worse for the wear, but both were glowing in the aftermath of their first time. Their first time quickly lead to a second and quickly became a regular part of their routine. Both of them talked to me about their first time. Tony told John that I'd helped him get ready to take him. I didn't think John needed to hear that, but he seemed to be grateful for my help.

Spring quarter was hard on me. Ty was getting a lot of attention from pro teams and several sports reporters. His name was frequently in the local paper. One national sports magazine included him in an article about promising college players. I didn't like the prospect that offers would come his way, but I knew that he wanted that more than anything.

The graduation ceremony was a long drawn out affair. It was held outside. Wearing black gowns and hats did nothing to keep any of us cool and comfortable as we were forced to listen to the never ending parade of speakers. When it was finally over my parents took pictures of everything and everyone. I had never posed for more pictures in my life. John and Tony were both with Ty. They all joined my parents and I for dinner at a local restaurant to celebrate.

John graduated high school two weeks later. My parents came to his graduation too. Much to our surprise John's family came too. John was very surprised to see them at our apartment two days before his big day. John was very excited to see his brothers and parents. In all it was a positive reunion. His parents really wanted him to return home with them, but that wasn't an idea John would entertain even briefly. He had applied and been accepted to the University. His plan was to stay where he was. John had completed all of the financial aid forms and was getting a lot of help thanks to grants. He wouldn't have much to pay on his own to complete college. He was set to start working full time at his job the next week. Since we hadn't asked him for financial help, he had a large amount of money saved to help defray the cost of school. His parents told him that they had saved some money for his education and would make that available to him to help him with the costs. In all John was in a comfortable situation as he looked forward to his first year of college.

John's brothers all stayed at the apartment -- camping in the living room in sleeping bags -- for the week they were in town. The youngest didn't want to leave. He begged his parents to let him stay with us, but that was out of the question. He was only 14. We just weren't equipped to take care of someone so young. He vowed that he'd be back. Luke was head-strong and determined. I had no doubt that he would indeed be joining us at some point. I just hoped it wasn't going to be any time soon. Luke and I had a long talk about waiting until he was older. I stressed the fact that his parents really needed him at home right now. I also told him that he'd really miss his friends back home. In the end he relented... Thank God!

Ty had one more quarter to go before he graduated. He was enrolled for summer quarter. There was a lot of talk about the options open to Ty. He continued to be a prospect for pro baseball teams. Some had expressed interest in him, but one of his coaches was telling him to hold out for a better offer. That offer came during the summer. We had discussed the possibilities for a long time, but the reality of the offer really changed the tone of our discussions. Taking the offer meant that Ty would be in the Northeast. It also meant that he wouldn't have much stability for a year or two while he would likely be playing in the minor league to start his career. The money he was offered seemed a huge sum, but almost any amount of money was a huge sum to college students who'd been struggling to make ends meet for the last four years. When it came time for Ty to leave I would be staying behind because I was in the middle of my Master's program. John was also still staying with us and would be living at the apartment during his freshman year to save on expenses. I hated the very thought of Ty leaving me to pursue his dream, but I knew I could never do anything that wouldn't allow him this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

When it came time for Ty to leave, I knew that I wouldn't be seeing him much if at all for at least six months. He would be spending that time with his new team and adjusting to professional baseball. I hated the thought of being apart for so long. All of those old insecurities began to haunt me. Those horrible 'what ifs' were constantly in the back of my mind. All of those old anxieties and doubts plagued me daily. I didn't really know what to do. One day I would want to end school and travel with him. Other days I wanted to end the relationship and move on. I was confused and frustrated most of the time. Ty and I decided to go away for a long weekend to discuss the changes that were ahead of us. After checking into the hotel we swam in the pool for an hour or so. As we relaxed in the warm sun at the deserted pool we started talking about us.

First and foremost we both knew that Ty couldn't be out. We also both admitted that it would be very difficult to be separated for so long. We also knew that it wasn't practical to be together during his first year because he'd likely be shifted to the minor leagues and hopefully called up to the majors. What that meant to us is that he wouldn't likely be in the same town for the whole of his first year. I suggested that perhaps the best thing was to end the relationship before he left so that neither of us would get to the point where we were cheating on the other. Ty asked,

"Is there someone else you're interested in?"

"No. I honestly haven't thought about anyone else but you since we first met. It isn't that I want someone else, but I know there will be pressure on you to go out with the guys. I know you will feel the pressure to act straight. You might succumb to the pressure to go out with women. I just don't want to be cheated on. If we were on a break or something it would be easier to take. You'll be gone for a long time. I don't think you can last that long without having sex with someone. Besides... You will no doubt be the best looking guy on the team. Baseball players have groupies too, and I know you'll have women and probably some men throwing themselves at you. I don't expect you to avoid that temptation. It wouldn't be a reasonable expectation on my part."

"Why wouldn't it be a reasonable expectation? Brandon, some of the guys on the team are going to be married. I'm sure some of the wives will actually be staying with their husbands. Just because I'm not married to a woman doesn't make our commitment any less real to me. I know six months is a long time to go without sex, but when I want sex I want it with you. I do have some will-power. I'm not some sex addict who can't go a few days without getting laid. You need to have some faith in me. You really need to trust me. I'm not looking for someone else. I don't want someone else. I'm not saying I won't get horny and be tempted, but I'm not weak. If I even considered cheating on you it would have to be with someone who had more to offer me than you. There isn't anyone out there who has more to offer me. I'm totally and completely in love with only you. Besides we will both have phones so when it gets to the point where I need relief I will be calling you and not some slut. I'm sure our sex life will change, but we will always have phone sex."

"Ty... I know I'm just being selfish and insecure. The same old thoughts keep playing over and over in my head. My biggest fear is that you will find someone who appeals to you more... someone you like better. I love you so much. I don't ever want to lose you. It scares me so much sometimes."

"You don't have to worry about me leaving you. I want to grow old with you. I don't know why it is so hard for you to believe that. I came too close to losing you too many times because of my stupidity. I won't ever let that happen again. You are more than just someone I love. You are the person who completes me... makes me a whole person. I couldn't succeed at this or anything if you weren't there with me. I don't think you really want to end what we have. What we've got is something we've both always wanted. We were lucky enough to find each other. Do you realize how many people are looking for what we have? I know in my heart that even if I fail miserably that this I will always find comfort and solitude and strength in your arms. I can face any reality as long as I know you are waiting for me at home."

"Ty... I love you. You are my world. There really wouldn't be any point to living if you weren't here to share life with me. I wish so much that I could go with you. You're going to have so many exciting experiences. More than anything I want to share those with you. This is your dream. Not many people in the world get to see their dreams become reality."

"Brandon, you are my dream. You are the only reality that matters to me. Knowing you are there supporting me and wishing me well gives me the desire to do well and make you proud. We should probably look into some long distance plans that won't end up costing us all of my salary because I'm sure I'll be calling you at least daily."

We held each other as we professed our undying love for each other. The outside world seemed to disappear when Ty held me in his arms. All of my anxiety and fear and insecurity melted away as we clung to each other. I didn't want that time to end. There was no place in the world I'd rather be than in Ty's arms. He was everything I ever wanted. If I could just have the two of us alone with no outside influences, I'd have done it. I knew that was a wish that could never come true. I would have to share Ty with the world. I had to learn to trust that he would always come back to me.

Our weekend was shear bliss. We doted on each other constantly. Had anyone watched us interact the whole of that weekend I'm sure they would have thought us both insanely in love with each other. There was no way to hide our devotion toward the other. We were in love. It wasn't simple and uncomplicated, but that didn't make it any less real. We enjoyed each other to the fullest extent... sexually, emotionally, mentally, physically. We crammed those three days with a lifetime of togetherness. Going home to reality wasn't something either of us wanted to do, but we had responsibilities waiting for us at home. Life would continue for us both. As we got closer to home we began talking about John and Tony and what seemed to be developing between them. I was ready to be finished with school. Fortunately I was doing more things that would be part of my career so I was challenged by aspects I enjoyed, but it was still school. I was doing volunteer counseling at a local gay teen clinic/gathering place. Most of what I was doing there revolved around helping kids understand who they were and helping them accept their homosexuality and feel good about themselves. I found myself devoting more of my time to the clinic when Ty had to leave. It was a good place to focus my energy. I needed to be someplace where I could have a positive impact... a place where I was needed and could help others.

Ty did call home every day once he arrived at spring training. Each time he called those first several days he was so excited about all of the players he met and actually was playing with. He was on top of the world. Once the spring training games actually started he met even more players that he admired and enjoyed. His dream was a reality even he couldn't believe. He was so excited when he'd call that I couldn't help but be excited along with him. I had started to study baseball so that I knew the players and was familiar with them when he spoke of his various teammates. As a result of an injury to an established player and Ty's hot bat, he would start the season playing in the major league. We were both so excited at the news. I borrowed money from my parents to go to his first game. It was a great experience for both of us. For my part I got to spend some much needed time with Ty. For his part he had a great day on the field. He played his position like a pro and managed one home run and two singles. His team won. He was one of several players interviewed by both local and national news crews. We watched as many of the televised interviews as possible that evening. We didn't waste our time going out that evening after the game. Neither of us cared about eating food. Sex that evening and night was wild and exhausting. It seemed that we couldn't get enough of the other. When there was simply no way to perform again, we were content to just hold each other and drift off to sleep. I stayed for all three games of the series. Ty's team won all three. It was so very exciting to be on the high with Ty. Sharing his excitement and energy was what I needed to have. I had missed him more than I realized. Parting was just as difficult, but Ty would be leaving the next day to start a series of away games so there was no reason to stay around.

As I looked at the lives of my friends I realized that I had it so much better than most did. Mark and Lyle had split up. Mark got a job on the west coast. Lyle didn't want to uproot himself and his career to follow him so both went their separate ways. Lyle had moved out of the apartment complex and into a nicer one several miles from campus. I'd been at his new place a few times, but we drifted apart over time. Rock was playing pro football. He was living in the Northwest now. He was engaged and planned to marry Amy in August. We still talked on the phone, but I hadn't seen him since he left school. I did watch his games when they were televised in our area. Amy grew up in our college town so their wedding would be here. I was looking forward to seeing Rock and Amy again. I was more than surprised when Rock asked me to be his best man.

John and Tony had reached a difficult phase in their relationship. It seemed that most of the problem stemmed from Tony's insecurities and jealousy. As John developed into the man he would be, Tony was easily threatened by anyone who even looked twice at John. Tony was too quick to blame John for flirting with all the guys who showed a passing interest in him. John grew tired of the accusations and the bickering that always followed. Tony found relief in the bars. He was 21 now and seemed to feel justified hanging out there flirting with those who frequented his favorite haunts. By the end of John's first year of school he was single and no longer talking with Tony. Once the break up was permanent, Tony came around less often. He would occasionally call me, but never really seemed to have anything to say. John wasn't looking for someone to replace Tony. He seemed content to be single. His first foray into romance hadn't ended happily, but he wasn't discouraged by the ending. I was confident that he would eventually start dating again when the time was right for him.

I was taking the summer off. I desperately needed the break. Ty was sending more than enough money home to cover our bills. At first I didn't want him to do that, but he insisted that he pay since it was our home. John's mother called regularly to talk with him. They seemed to be getting along well. During one call in May his mother spoke with me about the possibility of Luke coming for the summer. Since I was taking the time off anyway I thought it would be good to have someone around to occupy my time. Once the plans were set she called to tell me when Luke would arrive by train.

Luke was hyper when he arrived. He couldn't stop talking about the trip on the train, all of the things he'd seen thus far, and all of the things he had planned to do while he was here. He handed over the money his parents had sent with him to help pay for his expenses while he was here. It wasn't a lot of money, but I'm sure all they could afford. I suspected they really had no idea how expensive things in the city could really be. John was waiting tables five shifts each week at the Italian restaurant. As a result Luke and I spent a lot of time together in the evenings. Luke wasn't at all shy about asking questions, and he could certainly be very direct. I liked that, but I didn't always know how to answer his questions. When I hesitated with the answers he would prod me until I finally gave him the information he wanted. Our first such conversation occurred after Luke had been with us for only a few days. He asked,

"So where does Ty sleep when he lives here?"

"Where ever he wants since he's a sports hero." I tried with a bit of humor.

"I already know you sleep together. You only had one bed in the motel when you visited us."

"You're right. We do sleep together. Does that bother you?"

"No. I just wanted to know if you'd tell me the truth. Does John sleep with you when Ty's gone?"

"No. John has his own room. Why would you ask that?"

"I just wanted to know. Does John have a boyfriend?"

"You'll have to ask John that question. Why would you ask that anyway?"

"I already know John's gay. I know 'cause he would get this goofy look on his face when some of the guys would come to our house."

"It isn't my place to discuss John with you. You really need to ask him about his personal life."

"I will when I get a chance. So how did you know you were gay?"

"Well... when I first started puberty I realized that all the other guys I knew were all of a sudden looking at the girls. I was still looking at the guys. Girls didn't interest me at all, but the guys did. At first I didn't realize I was different, but eventually when I just never did get interested in girls I knew that I was gay."

"I'm the same way. I thought it would change too, but it hasn't. I hated it when John left home. I always made an excuse to go into the bathroom when he was taking a bath just so I could look at him. I couldn't wait for my body to grow. I always liked to look at his dick. It was neatest thing to me back them. I didn't ever want to like do anything with him, but I did like to see it. I'd get all warm inside. I used to try to show him mine, but he never really looked at it. I think it was just too small."

"It's normal to be curious. I think all guys are at every age. Just because you were curious doesn't mean that you're gay."

"I know that. I'm gay because I want to have sex with other boys. That's why I wanted to come here."

"Luke, you are too young to have sex with anyone. Having sex with anyone is a big step in life. It is more than just getting off."

"What do you mean?"

I went through my ideas. I could see that Luke was listening, but I couldn't tell if any of it was sinking in. He was after all a typical boy with hormones raging though his system. His body was ready to do things that he wasn't emotionally ready to experience. I hoped that I would be able to get him involved in things that were more appropriate for a boy his age. I'm sure in many ways he was more grown up that the city kids his age, but that still didn't make him ready to leave his childhood behind. He was just 15. There were so many more things he needed to experience before sex. I planned to do my best to distract him, and with John's help I thought we could.

and that brings me to the end of Part Seven...

Thanks for reading my story.

Please share your comments and constructive criticisms with me at: dselliot28@yahoo.com

Please try my other stories on Nifty...

"College Life" in the 'college' section - last updated May 1.

"Walk in the Park" in the 'beginnings' section - last updated April 19.

Thanks for reading my submissions!

Peace and Love.

ds elliot