This is the final chapter of Conflicted. I hope that you all have enjoyed the journey of our two heros Jabri and Chaz thus far. Before we get this final chapter, Nifty.org and its authors have provided us thousands of stories to choose from which fulfill our many fantasies. Make sure that you consider donating to Nifty by going to http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
------------------------------------------------ CONFLICTED: Chapter 6- Where do we go from here? ------------------------------------------------
Chaz and Nikki both were getting in the groove of having the new baby around the house. For Nikki, getting use to her new sleep schedule, specifically, when the baby sleeps, she sleeps, was beginning to wear her down. Chaz had not gotten a full nights sleep since they brought the baby home. Working all day and having to stay up with the baby at night when he would cry would cause moments of confusion for him throughout the day. There were only three thoughts on his mind; sleep, the baby, and Jabri. Chaz had tried calling and texting Jabri since their encounter at the hospital, but Jabri would not respond to any of his messages. There was a mixture of tiredness, anger, and sadness that really was starting to affect him emotionally. Chaz thought about going over to his apartment to find out why he was avoiding him. But it seemed like his mother-in-law was trying to keep him on a leash by wanting him home a certain times and didn't want him to leave the house. Since she did all the cooking and shopping, there really weren't too many excuses that he could have that would allow him to get out for a couple of hours. Eventually Chaz got fed up with being stuck in the house and made up a lie to get out for a while.
"I have to run a few arrands. I'll be back in a little while." Chaz said.
"Ok bye." his mother-in-law replied
"Well that was easier than I thought." Chaz thought to himself
He went straight to Jabri's apartment. When he arrived, he knocked on the door and Jabri opened it.
"What are you doing here?" Jabri said angrily
"Because I had not talked to you in a while. You are not responding to my text messages nor my phone calls" Chaz replied.
"Dude, I don't want to get into it with you right now," Jabri said, "just go home and we will talk about this later."
"No! You aren't responding to my messages and the least you can do is give me an explanation for why this rift between us is happening! That is the least you owe me." Chaz responded angrily as he pushed his way into Jabri's apartment closing the door behind him.
"I don't owe you shit bra. But since you want to know so badly why I've distanced myself, then imma let you have it. I have loved you for so fuckin long. But I was forced to hide my feelings from you for fear of losing you. And the moment that you decide that you are ready to show any interest in me, not only are you married, but you have a child. Every since that night, I have not been able to make it though the day without thinking about you. But that is the problem. You have someone that you come home to every night and she loves you. The only other person that even showed me any type of attention, I ran him off because I stupidly thought that maybe, just maybe, things between us would change."
"Why can't we just go back to the way things were?" said Chaz quietly.
Eyes full of tears Jabri replied, "You know why bra. You know that you will never be comfortable enough with who you are to even be with me. You aren't able to live your truth. You are gay and you are not going to be able to live within your truth because it will cost you everything. Plus, you can't love two people at once. That baby needs you...Nikki needs you."
"Me, not being able to live in my truth?" Chaz retorted back, "I didn't even know you were gay until a few months ago!"
"But I am not the one who is married with a kid, now am I? Just because I am not faunting my sexuality everywhere doesn't mean I am not comfortable with who I am." Jabri said calmly.
Silence fell over the room. Both of them knew that there was only one place to go from here. The reality of what was about to happen hit them both instantaneously.
"Jay, you know I'll always love you, right?" Chaz said trying to hold back tears.
With tears in his eyes Jabri hugged his best friend. Kissing him passionately. Chaz reciprocating the kiss he places his hands gently around Jabri's throat and pulled him in even tighter. Jabri broke the kiss, "I think its time for you to go back to your wife."
"Just 10 more minutes," Chaz pleaded.
"This is already hard," Jabri struggled to get out of his mouth, "why make it any harder?"
A reluctant Chaz prepares to head back home. When he gets in his truck, he has a complete meltdown. He goes back home and over the next week the conversation he had with Jabri was continually on his mind. Chaz made up his mind. He was going to live his truth. That evening when he got home from work, he knew what he had to do.
"Nikki, I have something to tell you. You might need to sit down for this."
Nikki eyed him suspiciously, "Ummmm of course, anything."
"I cheated on you."
"Roll that back. The fuck you say?" Nikki said angrily
"I cheated on you...with someone else."
"Like today?" Nikki said with confusion and anger
"No, i...it was while you were pregnant."
"Wow, so I was pregnant with your child and you were out here fuckin other bitches! Who the fuck is she?!"
Chaz sat silent. Afraid to answer this question because he knew once he spoke the name, it would forever be over. But he new in order to even have a chance to be with Jabri that he would have to do it.
"Jay" Chaz said quietly head in his hands.
With a confused look on her face, Nikki repeated back, "Jay who? You meet this bitch at work, on the internet, where?"
"Jay aka Jabri..." Chaz said a little louder.
"Wait, so you like dick now? The fuck you mean?! I can't breathe right now. You know what Chaz, get yo shit and get the fuck outta my house!" Nikki screamed with eyes full of tears. She began throwing any and everything she could get her hands on at him.
Chaz with his head down walks to the front door as Nikki continues to scream and throw objects at him. Once he leaves the house, he gets in his truck and he heads to Jabri's apartment. He knew that if he was to get the one that he really loved he would have to leave everything else behind. He bangs on the door. No answer. He continues banging on the door. Suddenly the door opened across the hall and an elderly woman stepped out.
"Are you looking for the the nice boy that use to stay here?" she asked.
"What do you mean 'used to say here?'" Chaz responded completely confused.
"Yea, he moved out on, I think, Saturday maybe?"
"Are you sure, this apartment?"
"YES! He moved out!" she replied, clearly irritated
"Do you know where he moved to?"
"Chile, I mind my own business. When I saw him, I asked him if he was moving, he said yes, I gave him a hug, and went my way." the old lady said as she was walking off.
Chaz went around to a window and looked inside. There was a light on inside, and as he looked around, he saw no furniture, no pictures, no signs of Jabri. Sure enough, the apartment was empty. Jabri was gone. Chaz began to shake. He ran to his truck and sped to Jabri's job.
He went inside the receptionist looked confused. "Chaz I haven't seen you in a long time! What are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for Jabri." he said out of breath
"Ummmm he resigned last week. He doesn't work here anymore. He didn't tell you?"
"Do you know where he is working now?"
"No, I am not sure if he already had something lined up."
Without asking anymore questions, Chaz bolted out of the door.
Chaz calls Jabri's Phone
"(beep) (beep) (beep) We're sorry the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected."
He tries to go to Jabri's Facebook page and discovers that it has been deleted. Chaz began to scream and bang on his steering wheel. He was gone. He had given everything up for him, but it was too late. Chaz's head began to spin because the reality of it all hit him. For the first time in a long time, he was truly alone. His wife would never forgive him. Once his mother found out, she would disown him. It would only be a matter of time before Nikki told her. The second most important person in his life, after his son, the one who he couldn't imagine his life without, the one who he has never been without, was now gone...never to return.
-The End-