Disclaimer: Most events portrayed are fiction, while some are taken from the author's personal life. Please notify him in case you want to repost it/ publish it somewhere else. Any resemblance to any character living or dead is a matter of coincidence.
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I met with Ian the next day, at the same time, same place. I glanced around the place to find `that man', but I didn't. I just shrugged and relaxed myself with a round of beer or two, but found myself questioning as to why I was so concerned about him. He was possibly straight, and to add to the insignificance, he hadn't even shown up today. Maybe he would show up later? But I couldn't take my mind off him, the fleeting images of our brief encounter kept me occupied enough that Ian had to finally ask if I was alright. This time, Thomas was not with me, so I was on my own. I was feeling a bit nervous therefore, not that I hadn't been to the clubs alone before, but this was somehow different from the ones I visited. I was nervous, I admit, but I was more excited to discover possibilities with Ian, so those kept me going. It could go either way with Ian, but I was glad to have found the place, maybe I could find more like-minded people?
This time, we did discuss a bit about our sex lives. Ian told me that he had a boyfriend when he was in college, I told him I never had one.
"No one?"
"Yeah, well, I told you I was bi right?, I was looking for girls more than guys in and after college. I had a few flings here and there, just the usual, but never with a guy"
"I see.. Well, honestly girls never did anything much for me. I knew I was gay from when I was ten, school years only confirmed that I truly was what some people call an abomination."
"Being different is not an abomination..., But I totally get where you are coming from. I am ashamed to admit, but I too bad mouthed and bullied some gay guys in school. I didn't even reach out to them and said sorry.. I.. that is one thing I regret"
"Don't fret, we were still kids back then... and then there is peer pressure too"
"That doesn't justify what I did, but.. Anyway, let us forget about that. You told me that you had a boyfriend?"
"Yeah, I did, back when I was still in college, his name was Ted. He was also my first real crush"
"Oh.. you mean you didn't have any in high school or before?"
"Crush? Well, yes and no. I was afraid of name-calling and never checked out any guy.. sexually I mean. I knew it wouldn't lead me anywhere good. Yes, I did find certain guys attractive, but knew enough to keep that to myself."
"I can relate to that pretty well.."
"As in? I thought you were mostly straight"
"Yes, but you see, you gay guys think that you are the only group who have problems coming out with their feelings. But let me tell you this: straight guys are no exceptions either. Even we have problems very similar to yours, confiding our feelings to a girl. The only difference is that we are not condemned by others, and even, more often than not, encouraged by them to openly express ourselves even if it makes the girl uncomfortable."
"I won't say that I accept it entirely that we gay people don't understand problems straight guys face. I admit that we may not know all of them, but you have to face it.. We gay guys have more of them than you."
"I admit", I said and we both laughed. Somehow, the ambiance around me felt a lot lighter. It was.. Comforting.. I have to say, for the lack of better words. People were still busy, in the usual, some drinking, some smoking and others busy in making out, completely oblivious to others around them. The loud jarring noise of some unknown music had faded somewhere in the background amid our conversation.
"You told me you had a boyfriend.."
"Oh that..? You see, Ted.. was bisexual. We had our fun in the college, quite a lot of it actually. But in the end, he couldn't commit that he wanted a relationship with a male partner. He said that he wanted kids. I knew I could say that even gay partners can have kids, but I knew somewhere that it would only prolong the pipe dream I was living in, it would never be real. Eventually, I had my wake up call when he finally moved out on me without even telling me. I came back from my class one day, and he was gone. His clothes, his belongings, everything. And just like that.. It was over."
Nothing was said between us for some time. The blaring cacophony being the only thing filling the silence. Finally, it was Ian who broke the ice.
"Hey.. Don't get upset about it.. It happens."
"I know.., and I can only say that it was quite unfortunate.. for him"
"Hahaha... unfortunate indeed!"
As we talked more, I found that Ian works in a pharmaceutical company as an operations manager. He said that weekends are the only getaways he has. It was not much different for me, working in the IT sector, I always tried to make the best with the weekend holidays I got. The next day was Sunday and we made plans to meet up at his home, his advice.
"I am still living with my mom and brother, does that bother you?"
"And why would that bother me?"
"I mean.. Given the things we might be doing.. Erhhmm"
"Shouldn't you be the one bothering over it?"
"I guess.." He looked at me and laughed hard. As he was laughing, I realized that the best feature of his face, though, was his smile. And along with that Irish accent of his', it made him look like someone you would wanna cuddle up into. But then he grew serious.
"My dad.. He fled with a different woman when I was seven. Since then, I and mom have been on our own. My brother was only two when he left, but we survived. I can't leave them, if you understand"
"I do.. Completely. And I would certainly like to meet them."
My hand found Ian's and squeezed them gently. He looked at me and smiled and I am certain my heart skipped a beat. In the dimly lit space that it was, we held each other, and caressed one another, oblivious to anyone else. I looked at him and moved closer, and we kissed. It was not long, and yet long enough to make us realize that we wanted nothing but to spend the night together. I told him if he can come to my apartment that night.
"I would want nothing less than that.." he said with the most pleasant of the grins I had seen lately.
"But I have to keep my brother company.. We always watch horror movies on Saturday nights. It is something we have been doing since we were kids"
"It is fine. I would rather you spend time with him. I can wait till tomorrow.. And then I will have you in bed.. And commit unspeakable acts with you", I said inching my hands towards his bulge.
"Oh!.. That is intriguing.. I wonder if it would be anything I have seen already"
"Don't worry about that, making my acts unusual is one of the things I am good at. You will miss the ride once it is over, I assure you that"
"Is that so?", he said and we kissed once more. Ian found my aching dick and rubbed it through my pants.
We decided to call it night at about ten. He gave me his address and we decided to meet at 5 of noon.
As I rode back home I realized once again how easy it was with Ian. Never once did I find myself uncomfortable with him. And that kiss?.. I had to admit I never had a kiss as arousing as that. And what was more strange was his insistence on meeting us at his home. It would have been a lot easier at my place if we would do what I think we would. But maybe it was the beginning of something at last? I couldn't wait for the morning to come. It felt strangely exciting, l felt like a kid at Christmas, waiting for Santa to give him something good, perhaps the thing he desires the most. Only that this Santa was real. And it didn't need to be Christmas for him to give something away. I fell back on my bed thinking and saw a few texts from Thomas.
"Did you enjoy?"
"How was Ian??"
"Did you do something naughty? XD "
I decided I will let him guess this time.
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