Complete Submission, part 2 A continuation of my descent into slavery via blackmail.
After publishing my first report on my current situation I received many positive comments from readers who wanted to know more. I mentioned this to my impending Master and he ordered me to contact each of the responders and ask for suggestions as to what should happen next. I hoped he would simply ask me to continue writing in a more fictional way, using some of the suggestions offered, however I now know that he is using these suggestions to further increase my slavery to him. He has ordered me to write about this and to ensure people are aware of his ownership of me.
Many of the people who responded were sceptical that I was really being blackmailed into slavery, however once I explained that it was a fact, they were only too willing to offer suggestions to my Master. One reader, a gay male sub, suggested I sign the contract in a ceremony which would be recorded to provide yet another piece of blackmail material. Many others suggested I should be collared, and my owner has decided these will both happen. When I report to him at a date yet to be agreed, I will be forced to sign the contract during a special ceremony and will then be collared with a chain and padlock which I will wear permanently for the next 12 months. All of this will be recorded and I will then have to create a secure website for the video to be hosted. He will control access to this site, however he has warned me that if I misbehave he will have the ability to send a link to the site to anyone he chooses. To this end, he has demanded the email addresses of those people whose phone numbers I previously gave him. I explained that my father does not have an email address, being in his 70s and not exactly tech savvy, however I have now provided him with the email address of my boss and co-worker, neither of whom are aware of my particular desires. The idea of him sending a video of me willingly submitting to him to either of these people fills me with dread.
I have already provided too much information to be able to argue about anything, however I am pleased that he has made some allowances for my current life, at least for now. At the contract-signing ceremony my laptop will have parental controls installed such as K9, meaning he will have complete control over what sites I have access to. I have provided him with details of the sites I use, and he has already taken control of my gaydar account. I have also provided him with all of my email addresses. I was also to have my internet time limited, however after begging him he has accepted that this would interfere drastically with my work and has therefore agreed not to pursue this, for which I am grateful. It is enough that I will not be able to access certain sites! Of course, I do not know which sites he will block, but I can assume he means to stop me using fetish and porn sites for the foreseeable future, an idea which I am not happy about but obviously cannot change.
I am also currently being tracked by GPS via my mobile phone, so my owner knows my position at all times. This is quite an interesting concept for me, and one I have previously experienced, however as I imagine I am to be controlled more closely than I have previously, this makes me very nervous and a little scared. The idea that he will know where I am at all times, and may give some order or demand which would be difficult in certain locations, is petrifying! However, as I intend to be nothing but honest with my owner in order to try and make things as easy on me as possible, this should not be too much of an inconvenience and something I hope to deal with easily.
Once again, I find myself writing this report with a variety of mixed feelings. I am anxious and nervous, very scared about wearing a collar in front of family and friends, and terrified that he will reveal images or videos to those closest to me. I have very few positive feelings currently, although I am trying very hard to convince myself this is what I want. I realise that if I can accept my position and his authority, things will go much smoother for me. I am sure that, once the contract is signed and I am fully owned, I will be able to relax a little, knowing that I will only have 365 days until I am free. I imagine I will be counting those days down with some excitement! I wonder though, if I come to accept my position more fully, will I want to be released at the end of the contract? One of those who responded to my last post suggested I should remove the time frame of 12 months from the contract, or that my owner should remove it, and simply accept my slavery to this (or another man of his choosing) as a permanent state of mind. At the moment, I am not ready for that kind of commitment; however that may be because I have no previous experience to go on. Perhaps once the contract is signed and I can settle into my role of owned property, I will not want to go back to my previous life. This is an interesting concept for me and one which I will no doubt spend some time considering.
Of course, I received some outrageous ideas from my readers too. I am not convinced that selling or destroying all of my property is quite acceptable, even in this situation. Also, being forced to wear particular items of clothing or footwear every day would not be possible. I still have to maintain my personal and professional life as much as possible, as agreed in the contract, and so whilst I may be required to dispose of some items, I am fairly sure my owner would not order me to do something drastic with all of my clothing, footwear, property, etc. Another idea suggested was that I gradually remove myself from all contact with friends and family. Due to my living with my parents this would be impossible, however I understand the concept and could see how it might work were I living on my own. I am pretty sure my owner is not looking for a 24/7 live-in slave, therefore I still need to maintain my social and professional commitments while making sure I am available for his use when needed. I am hoping my owner agrees with this! As he is able to monitor my movements I am sure this will be acceptable to him.
One of the other suggestions received was for my owner to shave my head and body fully. Now I can understand why this may be attractive for some, however I believe it is something which should remain firmly in the world of fantasy. Firstly, as discussed above, I do need to maintain a certain image in public, and secondly, have you ever tried to shave your own arse?! It is impossible to do without causing serious injury. I am fairly hairy on my legs, groin and arse, and although I would be willing to keep my genitals shaved, I would have great difficulty maintaining this smoothness on my legs and arse. Also, why would anyone want to shave a slave's arms?! It is just a bizarre concept and, while I am grateful for other comments received, I think it is entirely impractical. Another of those suggestions received which I believe would not work in real life is the idea of locking a chastity device on for the duration of the contract. Again, I have worn a chastity device for short periods as punishment, however going from not wearing one for several months to wearing one every day for a year would be impossible and potentially dangerous. My owner has agreed that chastity may be imposed as a punishment however it appears he has no further interest in this aspect, for which I am very grateful. As always, this may change and I should be prepared to accept his decision on this, but I am hoping he will stick with his original agreement on this.
Something which was raised in a few emails was the possibility of me being marked as property somehow. Mostly the suggestion was that I be tattooed somewhere discreet, although some went a little further and suggested I should be pierced in my nose, tongue, nipples and balls and have several distinguishing tattoos applied. While I am not overly keen on the idea of more piercings (I had my PA done a couple of years ago and am not good with needles) I can see the attraction of an owner's mark on my body. Of course, I have to be aware that this is just for one year and a tattoo will basically be with me for life, but I would certainly discuss this with my owner if he wished. One possibility would be to have my slave registration barcode tattooed somewhere that it wouldn't be seen unless I was naked, but again, I have to consider whether I would want it for the rest of my life. What happens if, in the future, I decide to switch roles? It would be unseemly for a Master to have a slave barcode anywhere on his body. This will of course be a decision for my owner, but I would hope he would at least discuss it with me first!
So, finally, I am preparing for the inevitably humiliating experience of my slave contract signing ceremony. I have asked if this will take place in private, but my owner says he will make all the decisions for regarding this himself. The idea of being forced to submit in public is terrifying for me! In my mind I am imagining all sorts of eventualities for this event. Perhaps I am brought to a club or bar, stripped in front of the clientele and presented with the contract to agree and sign. Perhaps I would be forced to my knees with my hands bound behind me to be collared and made to thank my owner as the padlock is snapped shut. Perhaps my owner would demand that I provide sexual services to those men watching, or maybe he would immediately start the bidding for my sale by auction. I would have no way to refuse any order, and everything would be documented on video and used as blackmail material to maintain my position of slavery to him. I can feel the humiliation of these and many more possibilities, but although these ideas scare me, I am also incredibly aroused. Perhaps I will be ok if I can find my sub-space and accept his ownership without a fight. It is not like me to submit easily, but as I don't have a choice maybe it will be easier to accept? I think I may have a little while to wait until I find out for sure, as he will not tell me when we are to meet and finalise the contract. I can only hope he will be a kind and gentle owner, understanding and nurturing rather than cold and distant. I would prefer to be able to love my owner rather than hate and fear him, but until we begin I can only speculate on these feelings. Part of me wants to rush headlong into this, but another part, the more sensible and analytical part of me, is screaming that I am making a huge mistake. I am trying very hard to ignore that voice!