"Coming Out Of the Dark"
By chris_engelke@yahoo.com
Author's Notes: I have finally returned after a hard drive death. God, I hate Compaq! I can't wait to get my new Gateway next week! Please e-mail me if you like the story, hate the story, have great pics of any *N Sync or BSB guy, etc. Feedback keeps all of us authors going!
CHAPTER SIX
Two weeks have passed since Lance, Joey, Chris, and Justin left. Tom spent all of that time in intense therapy. His psychiatrist didn't want Tom to leave quickly, but Tom and JC were able to convince the doctor to let him leave when JC left. JC promised the doctor that he would never let Tom be alone at any time. He also promised that he would see a psychiatrist in Orlando once they got home.
Once Tom was released, JC arranged them to fly down to Tampa. The plane arrived in Tampa in the middle of the night. JC had arranged that for two reasons. He didn't want them to be bombarded by fans because he didn't know if Tom could handle it yet. Also, he didn't want any of the guys to catch him sneaking Tom in.
After a good night's rest, JC called their manager Johnny Wright.
"Johnny Wright's office." The secretary answered the phone.
"Is Johnny there? It's Josh."
"Hey, Josh! I'll get him for you."
JC waited a couple of minutes then Johnny got on the phone. "Josh! How are you?"
"I'm pretty good."
"Are you in town yet?"
"Yes. I got in late last night."
"How's your friend? Tom, isn't it?"
"Yes. That's his name. He's OK. Actually, Tom's the reason why I called?"
"Do you need more time off after the Super Bowl?"
"No. Are the guys there?"
"No. Haven't you seen them?"
"No, not yet. Johnny. I need a huge favor. It has to remain a secret."
"From everyone, even the rest of the guys?"
"Yes, especially the guys."
"OK." Johnny was a little bit confused. He didn't know what JC would want to keep from the rest of the band, who were his best friends. They all knew he was bi, which was the biggest thing he had kept from them. "What do you need?" JC told Johnny of his plan to surprise Lance. Johnny wasn't aware that Lance was attracted to Tom. "After the Super Bowl is over, I think I need to have to have a talk with you guys."
JC feared that Johnny wanted them all to be back in the closet. He was pissed off at that thought. "Johnny, you better not be asking us to be back in the closet. We don't flaunt our sexuality like het guys do. Worse yet, you better not want to get a beard for us like Kevin Richardson has!"
Johnny tried to calm JC down. "Josh, that's not what I want to have the meeting for. If Lance really likes this Tom guy and wants to date him, we need to be prepared for everything and anything to happen."
JC was even angrier now. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"How well do you know Tom?"
"We all know him very well. He's one of our best friends! If you don't trust him, then you don't trust any one of us!" JC steamed.
"Calm down, Josh. We'll talk about this later. I'll speak with Aerosmith's manager and see what I can do. What about Britney? Do you think she will actually agree to this? You know the airhead bitch loves to be in the spotlight more than anyone else other than Michael Jordan?"
"I know, Johnny. I'll speak with Britney."
Britney Spears walked up behind JC and put a hand on JC's right shoulder. "What do you want to speak with me about?"
JC jumped in surprise. "Britney! You almost scared me to death!"
Britney giggled. She squealed, "Sorry, Joshy!"
JC shuddered when he heard Britney talk like a giggly schoolgirl. She was a longtime friend of both he and Justin, but she could still be very annoying. "Johnny, Britney is right here next to me. I'll speak with her. Will this be OK with Aerosmith and the producers?"
"I'll convince them it's OK. After all, it's just for one practice."
"Thanks, Johnny! I'll talk to you later." JC hung up the phone after thanking Johnny.
"What's up, Josh? What do you need to talk to me about?" Britney asked.
"I need a huge favor."
"Anything for Justin's guy!" Britney was almost a little too bubbly for her own good. JC was starting to think that maybe the people that run all of those anti-Britney sites can't be all that bad.
"I need to surprise the guys, especially Lance. Someone flew in with me from Oregon."
"That Tom guy?"
"Yes." JC was surprised Britney knew who Tom was. "How did you know?"
"Lance cried constantly for days." Britney explained. "He wouldn't stop. I couldn't talk to him, so I talked with Chris."
"You know everything then?" JC asked.
"Yes. You don't have to worry about my spilling the beans about anything. I love you guys. The last thing I'd want to do is to see any of you guys hurt."
"Even me?"
"Of course, even you! Why would I not include you?"
"I took Justin from you."
"No, Josh. You didn't take Josh from me."
"You two were together then I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt about him. Not too long after that, we got together."
"We were never together. God knows I really tried getting him to love me ever since MMC, but I always failed. One night, I was so upset I couldn't get him to love me that I kept crying and crying. It was that night he told me he was gay."
JC never knew all of this about this. "How were you able to deal with it?" he asked.
Justin, who walked up to his lover and their friend, answered that question for Britney. "She couldn't handle it at first."
"Jus, honey, I'll always feel bad at how I treated you for so long!"
"Brit, I never held it against you. Yes, it hurt me deeply, but I understood where you came from. You loved me for so long and kept trying to get me to love you, but I kept refusing. I couldn't love you the way you needed me to. Then I actually tell you I'm gay!"
"But that's still no reason to call you a dirty cock-sucking faggot."
JC turned so angry at Britney that his face was dark red and he had veins that were bulging. "You FUCKING called him WHAT?" He screamed.
Justin tried to calm JC down. "Josh, it's OK, honey. She was upset at the time. She regrets what she said."
"Juju, it's not OK that she called you that!"
Britney turned on JC. "Why do you care anyway? You fucking cheated on him with Joey's brother! You have no fucking right to protect him!"
"That is none of your business! Even if he never forgives me for the huge mistake I made, we will always be friends! I will always fight for my friends!"
Britney huffed. "Well! I never!" She started to storm off, but JC yelled back at her. "You never? Oh, puh-leeeze! Nobody believes you are a virgin! You're nothing but a surgically enhanced, no talent whore!" Britney ran off crying.
"Damn, Josh!" Justin snickered. "That was fierce!"
"Jus, I had to do it. Even if you hated me because of the big shit that I am, I would still love you!"
A single tear fell down Justin's face. "Josh, I just want to know one thing."
"Ask me anything, baby!"
"Why? Why did you cheat on me? Why was it Joe's brother?"
"Not here, please?" JC begged.
"OK. We'll talk in your room."
JC was nervous. He didn't want Justin to see that Tom was in town. "Why not your room?"
Justin could tell that JC was very nervous and seemed to be hiding something. "Josh, are you hiding someone in your room?"
"Yes and no."
"Yes and no? What the fuck kind of answer is that?"
"I have a surprise for all of you. I was going to reveal it all later tonight."
"Reveal who? Josh, are you in love with someone else?"
"God, no!"
"Then take me to whomever you are hiding!"
JC was desperate. "No!"
"Then we are through!"
"God, you really know how to ruin a surprise! You can't tell anyone, especially Lance, what I am showing you!" They went over to JC's room. "Do you promise to keep this a secret?"
"Not until I see who is in there!" Justin yelled.
"God, you can be such an asshole!" JC yelled back. He opened the door. Justin barged in and saw Tom.
"TOM!!" He ran to Tom and hugged him tight. "What are you doing here?"
"Josh!" Tom yelled. "I want to surprise all of them! It's ruined now!"
"It's not JC's fault." Justin said. "He told me it was a surprise, but it would be revealed tonight. I thought he was cheating on me again. I forced him to bring me here."
"Does anyone else know I'm here?" Tom asked.
"Just Britney." Justin replied.
"Will she tell James I'm here?"
"Maybe. JC found out that Brit wasn't too happy when I came out and yelled at her."
"Wasn't too happy? That bitch called you a dirty cock sucking faggot!"
"She doesn't feel that way anymore!" The yelling started again between JC and Justin.
"You believed that?"
"Yes! I do!"
Tom tried to break up the fighting. "Guys! Please don't fight!"
"We're not fighting. It's just a disagreement."
"I want you guys to make up so badly! You are so perfect together!"
Justin replied, "I've forgiven him already."
JC cried when he heard that. "You did? Does that mean…?"
"Yes." Justin beamed. "I want us to get back together."
"I love you so much, my Juju bear!" JC gushed.
"I love you, too, Josh! Just don't ever do that again! You know I'd been through this before! I don't want to be hurt anymore!"
"I'll never hurt you again! If anyone even thinks about hurting you, they are as good as dead!"
"Now that is settled!" Tom smiled.
"I cannot believe you're here, Tom! This is a fabulous surprise!" Justin said, and then crushed Tom in another big hug.
"Thanks, J. I'm very happy to be here too. It's been a very long two weeks. I really missed you guys a lot." Tom sees JC's guitar leaning up against a wall. "Josh, can I borrow your guitar?"
JC smiled. "Of course."
"Thanks!" Tom grabbed the guitar then returned to where JC and Justin were. He said down on a nearby chair. "You guys have been so great to me. You're the five best friends I have ever had. I need to repay you somehow."
"Tom, you don't owe us anything. You've been a great friend to us all, too!" Justin said.
"Maybe, but I want to do this for you."
"Jus, we might as well let him do whatever it is. What is it, Tom?"
"I'm just so glad the two of you have made up. I really meant it when I said you guys are perfect together. There's a song that I recently heard that reminds me of you two. I wanted to sing it for you."
"Really? I'd be honored!!" JC said.
"I know my voice sucks, so…"
"Tom, that's not true! Both Kevin and AJ said you have a wonderful voice! Please sing the song for us!"
Tom started playing the intro to the song on the guitar, and then started to sing.
"Everybody's got something they had to leave behind, One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time. There's no use lookin' back or wonderin', How it could be now or might have been. Oh, this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go...
I never had a dream come true Til the day that I found you Even though I pretend that I moved on, You'll always be my baby. I never found the words to say, You're the one I think about each day. And I know no matter where life takes me to, A part of me will always be with you.
Somewhere in my memory, I lost all sense of time. And tomorrow can never be Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind. There's no use lookin' back or wonderin', How it could be now or might have been. Oh, this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go...
I never had a dream come true Til the day I found you. Even though I pretend that I moved on, You'll always be my baby. I never found the words to say, You're the one I think about each day. And I know no matter where life takes me to, A part of me will always be...
You'll always be the dream that fills my head, Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, oh baby! You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget! There's no use lookin' back or wonderin', Because love is a strange and funny thing. No matter how I try and try, I just can't say goodbye! No, no, no, no!
I never had a dream come true Til the day I found you. Even though I pretend that I moved on, You'll always be my baby. I never found the words to say, You're the one I think about each day. And I know no matter where life takes me to, A part of me will always be... A part of me will always be with you..."
As Tom was singing the song, he closed his eyes. He was always insecure about his singing. He was petrified to sing in front of JC and Justin, but he felt he needed to show them that they were meant to be together. When he finished the song, he finally opened his eyes. When they were open again, the first thing he saw was that Justin was crying. He was very upset at himself for making Justin cry. "Fuck! I knew I shouldn't have done it! I'm sorry, Justin! I know my voice sucked, but I never made someone cry before!"
Justin didn't respond for a couple of minutes, until he could stop crying. "No, Tom! That didn't suck! In fact, it was just the opposite! It was incredible!"
"Really?" Tom was stunned.
"Yes! I haven't had a song affect me quite like this in a long time. It made me think about what my life would be like if Josh and I never got back together. I can't thank you enough!" Justin started to cry again.
"See, Tom? You are such a great friend to all five of us. We really have never let someone into our lives so quickly that became part of our family. We love you so much!"
Now it was Tom's turn to cry. "I love you guys, too!"
Once Justin calmed down again, he asked Tom about the song. "Did you write that song? It was incredible!"
Tom smiled. "No, J. It's called `I Never Had A Dream Come True' and is sung by S Club 7."
JC looked confused. "S Club 7? I've never heard of them before."
"Josh, they're that British band that has that show on Fox Family. They're all around our ages." Justin explained.
"Oh, them! That show is so lame!" JC said.
"It's not a smart comedy, but there's nothing wrong with watching something just to watch it. I enjoy the show. It's good to watch after a very long stressful day."
Justin tried to change the subject. "Lance is going to be so happy to see you!"
"How is James? I've been so worried about him!"
"I'll be honest." Justin answered Tom. "He's been better. He was crying for over a week after we left you. He wouldn't talk to any of us. He finally spoke with someone. It wasn't one of us, however. I still can't believe it was who it was who finally got through to him."
"Who was it?" Tom asked.
"Britney. Chris told her all he knew, and then she went back to Lance."
Tom was scared to face Lance again. What if he couldn't forgive Tom? He voiced his deep concerns to JC and Justin.
"He'll forgive you if he really loves you." Justin replied.
JC added, "He loves you. If Justin can forgive me, Lance will forgive you. You didn't sleep with Chris. You just kissed him."
"Let's go see Lance and you will see how much he missed you."
"Not yet." Tom said. Justin asked why he wanted to wait. "I have this plan to surprise him."
"What are you going to do?"
"Josh is going to invite you all to his room here. I'll be hiding…"
Justin interrupted. "In the closet?"
Tom laughed hard. "No, honey. I'm far out of the closet and have been for years!"
"Funny, you wise ass!" Justin laughed also.
"Seriously, I'll be in the bathroom. I know James will ask Josh where I am. When he does, I will come out and sing a song for him."
"Which one? `I Drive Myself Crazy'?"
"No. That song requires harmony. It's gonna be hard enough to do what I'm about to do."
"Tom, we already said he misses and loves you. Why is it hard?"
"It's hard because I until now, I haven't sung for anyone since I was 20."
"Tom, just sing from your heart like you just did. He'll love it and will totally melt."
"I hope so. I haven't been this scared in ages. I don't know if I'm emotionally ready."
"I wouldn't let you do it if I didn't think you could do it." JC replied.
"What song are you going to do?"
"I'll do `Shape of My Heart'."
Justin was flabbergasted. "What? You're doing a Backdoor Boys song? Why?"
"Jus, please do not call them that around me. I love their music and I really like Alex and Kevin a lot as people. I really want to be their friend."
"You have to understand that the two groups have never gotten along well. We all dislike each other. Well, Chris gets along with Howie, but that is about it." Justin explained.
"Not all of us hate them, Curly." JC added.
"Oh, yes!" Justin sarcastically said. "I almost forgot about your affair with HIM."
Tom was stunned. "You had an affair with one of them? Who was it?"
"It was Howie."
Tom was angrier than he had ever been. JC had an affair with Howie? A few weeks earlier, AJ had told Tom how he was attracted to Howie. Howie overheard the conversation and reacted very badly. "You had an affair with Howie? How could you?"
"What's wrong with Howie?" JC demanded.
"Howie is a fucking idiot!" Tom yelled.
"When the hell did you meet him?" JC asked.
"Back home. AJ and I were talking. I somehow knew he was bi. My gaydar said he was. He told me he was attracted to Howie. Howie and Kevin overheard us talking and confronted Alex. The ass called him sick for being attracted to him."
JC couldn't believe Howie would act so harshly. "There must be a good reason he said what he did."
"There is…he's an asshole!"
"Tom!" JC yelled.
"No, Josh! He hurt Alex a lot. How would you feel if Justin called you sick when you admitted to him how you felt about him?"
"I'd be destroyed." JC softly said. He frowned, then looked at Justin with deep love.
"Exactly. Alex and Howie were so close. Alex took a huge risk doing what he did. I've talked to him on the phone since they left."
"Really?" JC said. "I didn't know you spoke with him. How was he?"
"He acted like he wasn't hurting, but I could tell how bad he was. I really wanted to be there for him, to help him realize that he did have other people who cared deeply about him." Tom explained. "I felt so bad for him. I still do."
"They are in town now." Justin said.
"They are? Where are they staying?"
"This hotel."
"Take me to them!"
"No, not in your current state of mind." Justin said.
"Please? I need to hear his side of things."
"No, Tom." Justin repeated.
"J, I'll make sure he stays calm. I want to talk with Howie myself."
Justin relented. "They're probably in Kevin's room."
"What's the room number?"
"1403."
"Josh, did the rest of your guys and Howie's know about the affair?"
"No. Only Justin knew." JC replied.
"I fucking knew it!" Tom yelled, then bolted out of the room.
"Shit!" JC said, then ran after Tom.
Tom was able to get to Kevin's room before JC's elevator got to the floor. Tom pounded on the door. Kevin opened the door. "God! What's the fucking problem?" Kevin said, then saw Tom. "Tom! Oh my God!" He threw his arms around Tom. "How are you?"
In a monotone voice, Tom replied, "I'll be OK. I'm back on Zoloft."
"Zoloft? I know I've heard of that before, but I forgot what it's for."
"It's an anti-depressant. Unfortunately, it's also affecting my appetite." Tom said. "We can catch up later. I need to talk with Howie. Is he here?"
"He's inside. What's going on?" Kevin said, then stepped aside to let Tom in.
"Alex?" Tom yelled into the room.
AJ saw Tom and ran to him. "Tom!" He hugged him tight and planted a kiss on Tom's cheek.
"It's great to see you, Alex."
"You, too! Kev and I have been so worried about you. What's up?"
TO BE CONTINUED
What's going to happen next? What will Tom do when he sees Howie? Will JC catch up with him before? I promise to have the next chapter up a lot sooner than this one. Remember, PLEASE e-mail me with comments, good or bad. The address is chris_engelke@yahoo.com.