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CHAPTER 4
(1)
Francine tried to smile as she moved aside to let Helen Janes enter the house. The woman hadn't changed much since the last time she had seen her, the day she had given away her son over a glass of red wine in her family restaurant. That had been, what... six months ago?
"I guess I should have told your son I would be coming by. I didn't plan to before he mentioned Jesse's accident." Helen Janes stood before her in black slacks, a black silk jacket and burgundy blouse. Her dark hair was pulled back in a tight bun at the back of her head.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Helen." Fran said. She closed the front door and led the guest through the hall and into the kitchen. "Jesse's in here." She said.
"Thank you. I guess you are one person can understand what I am going through. My husband was not well liked by anyone, including me actually." Helen said.
Fran lead the way into Jesse's room. She saw that Adam had worked quickly to help Jesse get dressed for visitors.
"Mom!" Jesse said. He was startled by the unexpected visit. "I...' he paused. "I'm sorry about dad." He finished.
"No you're not and neither am I. We may as well be honest about it." Helen said. "You are looking well to spite your injuries."
"Thanks. I have a physical therapist who visits three times a week plus a care giver who helps me with exercising when the therapist isn't around. Mostly it's due to Adam." Jesse said.
"I'm sure." She said. She felt differently about her son now that Jake was dead. Her husband had been a hard man and ruled his house with an iron hand that even her will couldn't lessen.
"How's Cody?" Jesse asked. He hadn't spoken or heard a word about his younger brother in the whole time he'd been separated from his family. His father had removed the boy from the school to avoid their having any contact.
"He's upset. More so than we are, I'm sorry to say. He worshiped your father, no matter what the man did, Cody loved him." Helen said. She looked around the small room. "Not much to look at, is it?" She said.
"It's temporary. Mrs. Conner had the room remodeled to house a handicapped person. Even had a special bathroom built for me."
Helen looked at Fran. "Thank you for caring for Jesse as much as you have. I'm glad he had a place to be where he could be safe and happy."
"It was my pleasure. Jesse is a very special part of our family." Fran said.
"If it would be acceptable to you and Jesse I would like to visit from time to time. I'm sure Cody would like to see his brother again as well." Helen asked.
"Fine with me." Fran replied.
"Jesse?" Helen said. She turned back to her son.
"Yeah, I think I would like that a lot." Jesse said. He felt like he would cry but he held it back. There was no way he would show weakness. Not now, not in front of her. He wasn't sure about how he felt where his mother was concerned. Cody, however, was another story. He truly missed his thirteen year old brother.
"Okay then." Helen said. "If you want to attend the funeral tomorrow, I would be pleased." She added. Seeing Jesse like this was having it's affect on her. She had tried so hard to distance herself from he feeling for her son. It was the only way she could bear not having him with her. Granted they hadn't always had the best relationship but they were still mother and son and that bond remained strong.
"I would like that, mother. Thank you." Jesse said. He gave the woman a smile. He wasn't sure that he wanted to skip his father's funeral now. If it gave him a chance to be close to his mother and Cody again, it was worth the effort.
"Four-fifteen tomorrow at the cemetery for a grave side service then back to the house for family and friends." She said. "I would like for both of you to come as well." Helen added.
"If Jesse's there, I'll be there." Adam said. He had remained silent during the woman's visit. He had observed the interaction between his mother and Jesse and his mom and it relieved a lot of tension in him. He was also glad that Jesse had relented and agreed to go to the funeral. Having Jesse ostracized by his family had always played on his guilt. He knew he hadn't caused the estrangement but he had been a part of it.
"I need to get to the restaurant and make a few final arrangements." Helen said. "I will see all of you tomorrow."
"We will be there." Fran said. She led the woman from the room.
"Wow." Jesse said.
"That's an understatement." Adam added. "How do you feel?"
"I don't know. I guess I need to think about it." Jesse said.
"Okay. I'll go find something to do and give you some alone time." Adam said. He stood up.
"No. Please don't go. I don't want to be alone, Adam." Jesse said.
"Sure." Adam said. He smiled at Jesse and returned to the bed where he stretched out beside Jesse and took him in his arms. "I'll be beside you forever, Jesse."
"Me too, babe. Me too." He took Adam's hand in his own and they kissed softy.
(2)
The service for Jake Janes was quick and, for the most part, tearless. Cody, Jesse's thirteen year old brother was the only one to really seem sad or upset over the passing of a man who had turned out to be mean, rude and more often than not, violent.
Jesse and Adam sat at the end of the second row so that Jesse's wheelchair would be on flat, stable ground. Francine and Josh stood away from the small grouping of family members and waited for the service to end. It had been decided that morning that it would be best for Josh to go along to help with getting Jesse where he needed to be with as little fuss as possible.
Francine watched as Helen Janes sat with her head up high and looking to be the grieving widow. Her father, a thin man of average height, sat beside her holding her hand. Cody sat on the other side of his mother. She wondered how they had survived as long as they did as a family. It would be interesting to watch and see if the three remaining members grew closer or further apart.
It made her think about Harry. His funeral had been in a church with about three times as many mourners who actually grieved for the loss. Her husband had been a good man, a private person who loved his family and had good friends, but he also had secrets. Deep ones that he held so tightly that his wife didn't even know about them.
She sighed and looked to where her son sat beside his lover. They really were a cute couple. The idea of Adam being gay wasn't one that she had a hard time with. In fact she had pretty much taken it as a far gone conclusion before the boy was eleven. It didn't matter though. She loved him; she loved Jesse too. She couldn't have asked for a better son in law. How many secrets did he have buried away inside of himself that he hadn't shared with Adam? There couldn't be anything as shocking as the child pornography business. God, how had she managed to deal with the events that flowed so quickly after discovering the truth.
When the preacher closed his Bible and the crowd echoed `Amen", the service broke up and people began to stand. Francine looked back toward the lines of cars and saw a tall black man in a police officer's uniform. He seemed to be watching Jesse, Adam and Josh closely as they moved up the small hill to the road. Josh pushed the chair as he was bigger and a good bit stronger than Adam. Plus it was part of his job. The man bothered her though. Was he there because of Mr. Janes or because of Jesse? Damn, the past and it's unmentionable secrets anyway! She thought to herself.
"Mom. Mom, you okay?" Adam asked. He looked as his mother with worried eyes.
"Yeah, baby. I'm fine. I was just thinking." She looked to where the cop was and he looked right back at her and smiled. She didn't like that smile, there was something scary in the man's features. "Honey, do you know who that policeman is?" She asked. She nodded in the direction of the cop but he had turned and was walking away toward a patrol car that sat parked at the head of the line of cars.
Adam looked where she had been gesturing and saw the broad blue cloth covered back of the police officer. He had put his hat on and did not turn around so that Adam would have a chance to see his face. "Nope. I didn't see his face though."
"Never mind. Probably just me being paranoid or something." She said. Francine smiled at Adam softly and placed her left arm around his shoulders. God, he was getting taller, just like his father...just like...Josh too.
The large house was well decorated and though most of the furniture and fixtures were old, they fit nicely and made the place look comfortable. Francine admired Helen's taste knowing that the woman probably wanted better but either couldn't afford it or wasn't allowed to waste the money by her husband.
"Hello Francine." Helen Janes said. She wore a traditional black dress with silk fringe along the neck and hemlines. The dress looked to be new, or at least well cared for.
"Hello, Helen. I am sorry for your loss." Francine said.
"Thank you. For everything." Helen said. "He looks happier than I've seen him since he was a child. Have they always looked so comfortable and in love?"
"Yes, they have. I'm proud of them and amazed as well. They have been through so much since their relationship passed the friendship stage. Faced it and over come it and still love each other more and more every day." Francine said.
"I truly am glad. Jake was such a bastard toward Jesse in the last few years. He was a mean man to begin with, but there was just something about Jesse that set him off. Maybe he could see what Jesse is but couldn't accept it. I just don't know." Helen said. "I know you have permanent custody of Jesse now, and with your permission, I would like to try and repair the damage done to our relationship. I love my son dearly."
"Helen. I knew that the day we met at the restaurant. You wouldn't have gone to all the trouble if you didn't love him." Francine said. I'm just sorry you missed watching him grow and be happy with himself and with Adam, over the last year."
"Me too." Helen said.
A man walked up to the two of them and asked for a private word with Helen so they said their good byes and the man led Helen Janes away.
Francine went to the bar and asked for a glass of white wine which a youthful Hispanic bartender poured for her. He gave her a smile and a wink. Flirtatious but charming as well, she thought.
"How are you doing Jesse?" Adam asked. He looked to where Jesse was staring to see it was the staircase leading to the second floor.
"I wish I could go up there." He whispered.
"I could get Josh and we could get you up there." Adam said.
"No. Maybe another time; when there aren't so many people around." Jesse said. He looked around the room and the few family members that had shown up and a group of his father's friends from the neighborhood. A few of the staff from the restaurant were moving around the crowd as well.
"I understand." Adam replied.
"What's going on guys?" Francine asked. She held a half empty glass of wine in one hand and placed the other of on Adam's shoulder.
"Just talking." Adam replied.
"Whenever you are ready to go, we can Jesse." She said.
"Thanks. I want to try and spend a little time with Cody if I can get his attention long enough." Jesse said.
"If you like, Josh and Adam can come with me and you can call when you're ready to leave." Francine said. She was really tired and the wine was getting to her a bit.
"Yeah, I think I'd like that." Jesse said.
Adam looked at his partner with a hurt expression. "You sure? Will you be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll manage. Go on with them. I want some time with Cody. Maybe a little time to myself as well."
"O-okay." Adam said.
Adam followed his mother to the bar where she left the now empty glass and a five dollar tip for the bartender. They walked out the front door and down the drive to where Josh sat in the Volvo's driver's seat reading a magazine.
The young man looked up and smiled. "I guess I should go get Jesse then." He got up.
"No. He's staying here for a while." Francine said. "Would you mind driving? I'm not feeling too well." She added.
"Sure thing." Josh answered. He opened the back door and Francine Conner slipped in and laid her head back against the head rest. Josh closed the door and slipped back into the driver's seat. "You coming?" He asked.
"Yeah." Adam said. He looked back at the house before walking around the front of the station wagon. He got in the front passenger seat, closed the door and fastened his seat belt. His eyes went back to the front door as if hoping that Jesse would come rolling along, having decided not to stay after all. He didn't come.
"Home it is." Josh said. He put the car in reverse, backed down the drive and into the street, shifted to drive and headed off down the road.
(3)
Jesse talked with several cousins and an aunt from his mother's side of the family before reaching the back porch where Cody sat alone, staring out over the overgrown back yard. It looked as though nobody had bothered to try and cut the grass or trim the hedges since the last time he had done it over a year before.
"What do you want?" Cody said. He looked at his brother with confusion, annoyance and distrust. The way Jesse had left still stung a lot and he wasn't sure he even liked his brother any more.
"I wanted to spend some time with my brother." Jesse said. He put the brakes on the wheelchair and sat with his arms crossed.
"You haven't wanted to spend any time with me in a year. Why now?" The boy asked.
"Actually, I've missed you a lot and would have loved to spend time with you but I wasn't aloud to."
"Dad said you were a fag and you ran away to be with your fag boyfriend and didn't love us anymore." Cody said.
"Sounds like something he would say. It isn't true by the way. Yeah, I am gay and I do live with my boyfriend and his mom. I never stopped loving you though." Jesse replied.
"Mom never said much about you leaving. She always said it was for the best and was never willing to say any more than that."
"I guess she didn't want to tell you the truth but didn't want to tell a lie either. Mom always did what dad wanted. She had her ways of rebelling but they were small and not effective."
"I missed you." Cody said. There were tears in his eyes. "I kept thinking after he died that it was your fault. He was mad some days and sad on others. He said you had hurt his feeling and devastated mom by being the way you were." Cody added. "Are you coming home now?"
"No, I'm not, Cody." Jesse replied.
"Oh."
"I'm sure you would be welcome to come visit me though. Mrs. Conner is very nice and enjoys company."
"Adam's mom?"
"Yep."
"Why can't you just live here again?" Cody asked.
"Because I live with Adam and I plan to do that for the rest of my life."
"Jesse?"
"Yeah?"
"How did you know that you are gay?" Cody asked.
"I started to have feeling for Adam that went deeper than friendship. I also had no interest in girls. Those two facts led to the conclusion and once I' d had sex with another boy I knew."
"Have you ever had it with a girl?"
"Once. It was not a pleasant activity. I'm sure she would agree."
Cody laughed softly. "Why?"
"Mr. happy wouldn't get up to play." Jesse replied. He wasn't sure having this discussion with Cody was a great idea but it was certainly getting them talking to each other. "She did everything she could do and I finally had to think about boys just to get hard enough for her to suck me which she did a painful job of."
Cody laughed more and a bit louder, drawing the attention of a few people who were standing in the open doorway to the kitchen. Jesse joined in for a bit before the odd looks silenced them both.
"You think he's okay? They would call if something happened, wouldn't they? " Adam said.
Josh looked at him. He had been fixing a chicken to roast while Adam continued to chatter along. "Yeah, I'm sure. Go call one of your friends while I finish dinner."
"Yeah, okay." Adam said. He got off the barstool and walked out of the kitchen and up to his room. No not his, theirs. It was their room even if Jesse couldn't sleep in there with him. He desperately missed having Jesse's arms wrapped around him. The smell of his clean skin and the warmth that skin brought to his own skin with the contact. He felt his cock stir and begin to rise.
Adam locked his bedroom door and changed out of his dress clothes. He got on his back on the bed and began to rub his smooth bare skin with his hands. In his mind it was Jesse touching him as he wrapped a hand around his hard dick. He slowly jacked himself but stopped to get the lube from the drawer. A dry jack was rougher than he wanted right then.
Once he had lubed his cock he began to jack himself off again. He closed hi s eyes and thought about the feel of Jesse's ass wrapped around his cock and he jacked faster. His moaning was loud and within seconds he shot several thick ropes of cum into the air to have them splat back down warmly on his chest. He started cleaning up his private little mess.
The phone range as he walked from the bed to the bathroom. He turned and walked to the desk to answer it. He heard voices so he figured mom or Josh had picked up. He listened to see which was amazed to here Josh talking to a man. He knew he shouldn't listen but he couldn't help it.
JOSH: She is sleeping and I don't know what Adam is doing.
MAN: The other boy still with his family?
JOSH: Yeah. I'll have to get him when he calls.
MAN: okay. We can get together another day. There are things we need to discuss.
JOSH: understood.
The phone clicked and the dial tone came after the other phone was turned off. Adam was glad neither had noticed that he was on the line. He replaced the receiver and walked into the bathroom to grab a shower.
(4)
Adam was sitting in the kitchen with his mother when Jesse called to get a ride home. Francine was not well and Adam could see she didn't feel like going out again. "I'll go find Josh, Mom. We can get him."
"That would be great dear. I don't understand what's come over me today. I was feeling okay this morning but by the time we reached the Janes' house I felt so tired."
"Just stress and depression, Mom. I felt the same way. It was like Dad's funeral all over again but on a smaller scale." Adam replied.
"What a smart son I have. You are probably right. I think I'll go lay down." Fran sighed deeply. "Here," she began. She pulled her purse to her and rummaged through it, pulling out a small billfold. "Take this and you boys go have dinner on your way home." She smiled, handed Adam forty dollars and stood to leave the room. "I love you so much, baby. You and Jesse too."
"Thanks Mom. I love you too, and I know Jesse feels the same way." Adam said. He smiled at his mom as he pocketed the two twenty dollar bills.
Josh walked into the kitchen as Fran left the room. "You okay, Mrs. C?" He asked. There was true concern in his voice and it bothered Adam and his mother heard it.
"Just tired, Josh. Would you take Adam to get Jesse please? I gave Adam money so that the three of you could have dinner out before coming home. That way I can have some quiet me time." Francine said.
"No problem." Josh said.
"Keys are on the counter." Fran said. She walked away before either boy could say anything else.
After Fran had walked out of hearing range Josh looked at Adam. "Is she really okay? Her color isn't good at all."
"Yeah. She has been having a bad week and with the funeral and all she's just depressed. It brings back my dad's funeral and got her down. Plus I think she has a cold. She's been sneezing a lot lately." Adam replied.
"You ready?" Josh asked. He picked up the key ring and jingled them as he walked toward the door to the garage. He stopped put a hand on his left back pocket. "Shit. I'll be right back. I forgot my wallet in the dress pants I had on." He tossed the keys to Adam "Start her up, okay?"
"Sure." Adam said. He went into the garage and unlocked the driver's door on the Volvo.
Josh came out the door and pulled it closed a few minutes later. "Sorry, my cell phone rang and I had to jab with my mom for a second." He pulled the car door closed and pulled the seat belt strap across his chest to hook it.
"That's cool." Adam said. He fumbled with the sound knob on the stereo. He had pulled a Cher CD from the stash his mom kept behind her seat.
"Where do you want to go for dinner?" Josh said. He really wanted to improve the relationship he had with Adam. He didn't really have to as being friends with these people didn't go with his job. It would sure make things easier though. He knew that his feeling for Jesse were far more evident than he wanted them to be. The thought that Adam could be his half brother was also a factor in his mind. He still needed to sit down with his mother and get some honest answers out of her.
"I don't care. Maybe Jesse will have a taste for something." Adam said.
Josh laughed.
"What?" Adam said. He half smiled at Josh.
"I'm sure I know what he has a taste for and I bet you have similar tastes as well."
"Oh, yeah." Adam said. He laughed. "Besides that." He added. He felt a little more comfortable around the older boy. Jesse had made it clear that he had the person he wanted and Josh didn't have a chance of changing his mind. That went a long way to his grudging acceptance of Josh.
The boys rode in silence for several minutes, not speaking until they pulled into the Janes' drive way.
`You want to wait in the car?" Josh asked.
"Nah, I think I'll go in." Adam said. He removed his seat belt and got out of the car, closing the door behind him.
"Okay." Josh said. He could feel that the tension between him and Adam wasn't as thick as usual and that was a change. He hoped that maybe things would start moving a little more smoothly. Their discomfort with each other had to be affecting Jesse's emotional state, which affected his recovery.
The boys stayed for several minutes exchanging small talk with Helen Janes and Cody. After a short while they excused themselves and left the house. Josh got Jesse comfortable in the back seat of the station wagon and put the wheel chair in the luggage area behind the rear seat.
"So, dinner. What's the plan?" Josh asked.
"Mom gave us forty bucks to eat out so she could have some piece and quiet."
Adam said.
"Cool. Let's hit that new pizza place near the movie theater."
"Sounds like a plan." Josh said. He backed out of the drive and drove out of the subdivision to the main road, merged with traffic and they were on their way.
(5)
The boys ate and played video games for nearly two hours before leaving the buffet style pizza parlor. They got into the car and continued the conversation that had begun over the last game they had been playing. Jesse had used the pincher arms and won a stuffed alligator that he had gave to Adam. They couldn't show open affection in public but once they were in the car they kissed deeply.
"I love it baby." Adam said. He looked at the green and yellow toy, hugged it to him and laughed along with Jesse.
"You two are too much!" Josh said. He laughed as he watched the boys in the back seat as they started making out again. He turned his eyes back forward as the semi barreled through a red light. He saw the grill of the big rig for only a second before it impacted with the side of the Volvo wagon.
Francine sat up straight in the bubble bath she had been enjoying and screamed.