Come What May 1/1

Title: Come What May 1/1 Author: Alec C. Rating: NC-17 for language and angst Feedback: Alecsandria@yahoo.com Dedications: to Ath for the beta and to Katherine and Jaxx because I heart them both Author's notes: I've done research before I started this story as it deals with a sensitive topic. I'm not an expert so forgive me for the mistakes that I may have made.

DISCLAIMER: this story isn't true. It's an AU and all fiction. This isn't what members of any band are really like. I've made it all up...

Come What May

The door opened slightly and a pair of pale green eyes peeked around it. Voices were clearly heard in the hall and more doors opened to satisfy curious minds. A young man stood in the halls talking to one of the nurses. His hair was a buzz cut and gave him a rough look. He had several tattoos that were visible. One on his arm and a barb wire kind of thing on his leg. He was wearing a wife beater and a pair of shorts. He obviously wasn't a patient there.

`Who is he?'

Lance turned his head to see Mandy standing in her doorway.

I don't know.' Whispered Lance. He doesn't look like a patient to me.'

Mandy wrinkled her nose and sighed. `Maybe it's a visitor.'

Lance smiled sadly. Mandy hadn't had anyone to visit her since she was admitted. Lance often visited her when his parents or friends couldn't make it over for a visit. They always made a formal gathering out of it. Mandy would call for tea and biscuits and Lance would look for a little present he could give her. The smile on Mandy's face was all that Lance needed in return.

Mandy quickly dashed towards Lance and sneaked in behind him. Lance turned his attention back to the hall just in time to see the nurse turn. The young man beside her turned as well and Lance suddenly stared in a pair of beautiful, yet ice cold blue eyes.

`Lansten, eaves dropping again?' The nurse said with a smile on her face.

`No Kelly, I was just checking if my parents were coming for a visit today.'

Kelly shook her head. `I'm sorry sweetie. But they aren't coming till next week.'

Lance managed to keep a straight face. `That's ok. I have so much to do that I wouldn't have much time for them anyway.'

Lance wanted to go back into his room but Kelly stopped him.

`Lansten, I want you to meet Justin. He will be helping around here for a while.'

Lance looked at the young man again. He had a well toned body and a bored look on his face.

`I'm Lance.' Said Lance and reach out with his hand.

Justin looked at his hand and rolled his eyes. `I won't get infected when I touch them right?'

Lance dropped his hand and turned away with a painful look on his face.

No Justin.' Said Kelly in a cold voice. You can touch them, they can breath on you. You won't get infected by them.'

Lance bit his lip not to cry and shuffled back into his room. Although he was used to the cruel remarks about his disease it always hurt when someone was prejudged.

** Lance kept a close eye on Justin for the next week. He didn't show himself but he knew exactly where Justin was and what he was doing. Apparently Justin was doing some community work. He had been busted robbing a store but because he was underage he was sentenced to do some work in the community. His lawyer had been familiar with the ward and had asked Justin to help out.

Lance liked Joshua. He always sat down with them and read the younger ones bed time stories. He also helped Lance with his home work and was a listening ear when the younger boy needed one.

`Eaves dropping again?' A firm hand suddenly rested on Lance's shoulder and the boy almost jumped in the air.

Joey.' Breathed Lance while he grasped his chest. You scared me.'

`What are you doing sneaking after Justin?'

Lance looked at the Italian nurse. `I don't like him. He was very rude.'

Joey sighed and guided Lance to a table in the hospital garden. Justin was weeding a few yards away.

`Listen Lance, all the nurses here are trained to deal with your disease. All the parents that visit are all used to seeing you and know what they can or can't do. But Justin is new. He might have never met anyone with AIDS Lance. He might be one of those people that think that you can get it from looking at someone with AIDS.'

`But he knows that he is working at an AIDS ward. Didn't Joshua tell him anything?'

Joey nodded. `Yes, Joshua told him a lot about the ward. I know when I first came here I was shocked to see so many young people. I always thought that AIDS was for older people.'

Lance crocked his head to the side and stared at Justin. It was a warm day and the boy was sweating. The shirt that he was wearing clung to his chest and Lance swallowed hard before looking away.

`How is the baby?' Lance suddenly asked.

Joey raised his eyebrows at the chance of topic. `She is fine. Brianna is sleeping better so we sleep better.'

`Are you going to show her to us soon?'

Joey stared at Lance before looking away. `She is a very young baby Lance. The hospital isn't the right place for her to be.'

Lance rose to his feet. Never mind Joey. You are just as scared as he is.' Lance said, while pointing at Justin. You deliver this great speech about Justin being scared of AIDS while you are too afraid to bring your own daughter to the hospital. Well fuck you Joey. You are just like all of them!'

Lance ran away from the table and into the garden. His vision was blurred by his tears and he finally had to stop running because his lungs were burning and his heart was racing in his chest. Lance took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. He had never expected Joey of all people to have a phobia. He had always been the one to tell Lance that people were scared of nothing. Lance sank to the ground and rested his back against a tree. He was tired. Lance knew that he didn't have the strength to get back to the ward on his own. He just had to sit here and wait for someone to come looking for him.

The sun went under and Lance was starting to get cold. He couldn't believe that no one had come to look for him. He wanted to crawl back to the ward if only he could. Lance shivered in his shirt. Why did he have to run into the garden instead of his room?

`Lance? Lansten?' A voice echoed through the garden.

Lance struggled to sit up again. `I'm here.' He tried to yell but he was too cold to stop his teeth from clattering.

A flashlight flashed over him and he heard people yell.

`Josh, I've found him.'

Lance tried to focus.

`It's ok Lance. I've got a blanket with me.'

A warm blanket was wrapped around Lance and he leaned in the touch.

`I'm just going to check your vitals Lance. Josh is coming and than you can go inside, ok?'

Lance nodded.

`Chris?' Joshua's voice sounded very close by.

`I'm here.'

Joshua appeared in Lance's line of vision.

`Hey, you had us worried.'

Lance pouted and tried to swat Chris' hands away.

`Hey, I have to check your vitals.' The short brown haired doctor lifted the blonde in his arms and placed him on the gurney that Joshua had been pushing through the whole garden.

`Joey is an arse.'

Chris and Joshua both had to laugh.

`He is also very sorry. He thought that you'd be back for dinner.'

Lance crossed his arms. `Nope, I was very comfortable here.'

Well you can get comfortable in your own bed now. I already dread some flu so we have to get you inside.' Chris used his I'm the doctor so listen to me' tone and Lance knew that he was serious.

** Chris' fear came true and the next day Lance was put in an isolation room with pneumonia. Joshua came in after work each day to visit Lance. The younger man was unconscious the whole time to give his body a chance to recover but Joshua still talked to him. After a week Justin came to look for his. He had finished his first 40 hours and Joshua needed to sign the slip for him.

`Joshua?'

The lawyer turned around and smiled when he saw Justin.

`Come in.'

Justin stepped inside the small hall. He glanced through the window and saw Lance lying on the bed with beeping machines surrounding him.

`Is he dying?' Asked Justin while he handed Joshua his work slip.

`No, he is just very ill.'

`Why aren't you in his room?'

Joshua pulled a chair close and motioned Justin to sit down.

`Lance is in isolation because his body needs to rest. Every visitor that he gets might bring in more germs that his immune system can handle.'

`So he is lying there all alone with no one coming to talk to him?'

Joshua shook his head. `We have an intercom that we can use. But he has been drugged for the past week. I don't think that he noticed the visitors that he has had.'

`Poor lad.' Justin said with earnestness in his voice.

`He'll be alright. Lance will be alright.'

Joshua reached inside his pocket and took out a pen. He quickly signed the slip that Justin had given him and patted the boy on his shoulder.

`See ya soon Justin. I'll be here after work if you need me.' **

Justin visited Joshua each night. He slowly learned more about the clinic and AIDS. Joshua never said a word about how the patients and Lance were infected with the HIV virus. It wasn't his place to tell had Joshua told Justin. After three weeks Lance was on the road to recovery again. It surprised Justin that he started to look forward to see Joshua and Lance. Most of the time Lance was asleep or a nurse was with him so Justin hadn't spoken to Lance yet but Joshua was a nice person to be around with.

`So the clinic is a place where rich people dump their sinful children to visit them once a month or so. They pay a massive fortune to the clinic and they are released from their burden.' Justin gave a short summary of what Joshua had told him the past 3 weeks.

`Something like that. Because of the donations we can admit children whose parents can't afford the treatments. Lance is one of them.'

`How did you end up here than?'

Joshua stared at Justin. `Ashley died in this very room a few years ago. He was a successful law student. He would have been the best lawyer in the world. I visited him night after night and learned how to take care of people with AIDS. Chris asked me to help out with some legal matters and I never left.'

`So your friend died here?' Justin was impressed by that piece of information.

`Ashley and I were lovers Justin. We had been together for almost 5 years when he died. I'm gay Justin.'

Justin tilted his head to the side and smiled. `I knew that. I saw you and Doctor Chris the other day. I just didn't know how you ended up working here.'

`AIDS isn't just for gay people Justin. Little Mandy is too young to have a sexual relationship but she still has AIDS.'

Justin nodded. `I know. Do you have...?'

Joshua shook his head. `I get tested every six months and each time the test comes back negative.'

`I got tested too before I came here. I'm a negative too.'

Joshua touched his arm. `Just be careful Justin. I've told you what can spread the virus.'

Justin nodded. `I only have to weed now. I don't think that I have to do much more. Joey is doing everything else.'

A strange gurgling sound came from the room and Joshua and Justin both looked up. Lance was lying on his side coughing up blood. His eyes were wide open as he desperately tried to breathe.

Joshua jumped to his feet and grabbed an isolation suit. `Press that red button behind you Justin. Chris will be paged automatically.'

Joshua got dressed and opened the first door to Lance's room. He closed it and opened the second door. Justin watched in awe how Joshua helped Lance up, not caring that Lance's blood was all over the place.

The door behind Justin flew open and Chris and Joey came dashing in.

`What happened?' Asked Chris while he got the isolation suit on. Justin quickly explained what he had seen. Chris nodded and asked him a few questions before going into the room.

Joey and Justin stayed in the hall and Joey placed an arm on Justin's shoulder. `He'll be alright. His lungs are weak and each cough can cause a small vein to pop.'

Justin stared at the scene that was unfolding in front of his eyes. `He's too young to die.'

Joey squeezed his shoulder. `They all are, Justin. They all are too young to die.'

** Justin went to the library when he came home from the hospital that night and searched for as much information on AIDS and HIV that he could find. He printed out web pages and found leaflets and books on the disease. He took them all home and was up till dawn reading through them. He made a list of questions that he had left for Doctor Chris, and finally went to sleep when he should have been at school.

Justin returned to the hospital to find it in total chaos. Loud screaming came from Lance's room. Justin could hear Joshua speak to someone that replied in short, brusque answers.

Joey stood guard for the door and shook his head. `Sorry Justin. I can't let you in. There's a crisis going on.'

`What's happened?'

`I can't reveal patient details to you.'

Justin frowned and looked at Joey. `But I've been here each night for the past 3 weeks.'

`I'm sorry Justin.'

Justin turned around and walked to the regular ward to find Chris and get some answers to the questions he had. A little girl stood in a doorway looking at him. A small wet thumb was removed from a smiling mouth. `Would you like some tea?'

Justin knelt down to her height and looked at her. She had beautiful blue eyes and prefect red lips. She could be a supermodel if she were 10 years older. But Justin also saw the horrors of AIDS and HIV in her eyes.

`I'd be honored to join you for some tea.' He said.

A genuine smile appeared on her face. `I'm Mandy.'

Justin took her outstretched hand and shook it. `I'm Justin.'

Justin followed Mandy into her room and helped her on the bed. She pressed the nurses' intercom, an after a bit of static Kelly's voice filled the room.

`How can I help you, Mandy?'

`I'd like to order some tea please. I have a visitor.'

`A visitor?' Kelly echoed.

`It's me. Justin.' Justin said to put Kelly at ease.

`That's ok. Two teas coming up.'

Mandy cocked her head and looked at Justin. `I usually have tea with Lance but he is preoccupied at the moment. He always brings me a little present. I love Barbie.'

Justin instantly made a mental note to buy some Barbie stuff for the little girl next time he had to go to the toy store.

`Lance is ill again right?' Mandy stared at Justin with large innocent eyes.

Justin shrugged. `He had pneumonia.'

`I had that too.'

Justin's heart broke. He had almost forgotten that he was working on an AIDS ward.

A soft knock on the door broke the sudden awkward silence in the room and Kelly entered with a tray with two mugs with tea and some cookies. She placed it on the bed side table and walked away again.

`Kelly?'

She stopped and looked at Justin with teary eyes.

`It was touch and go last night Justin.' She answered his unasked question.

`But Joey...'

`His parents arrived and Joshua had a go at them for showing up after so long.'

`Can I...? Do you think...? I've been...'

`Ask Chris or Josh, ok?' Kelly dashed out of the door and Justin sighed.

`Is Lance dying?' Mandy asked while she crawled close to Justin. Justin froze for a second and than wrapped his arms around the little girl and pulled her on his lap.

`Lance will be ok. I'm sure that he will be ok.'

** Justin kept his promise and brought some Barbie stuff for Mandy. He hadn't been able to come for a week due to detention at school and he had been miserable. Justin also brought some gifts for Lance. He had no idea what the other man liked so he got a neutral hits CD and a book.

He clenched the bag with the gifts against his chest and walked to Lance's room. Kelly had informed him that Lance was out of danger and back in his old room again. Justin raised his hand and knocked on the door.

`Who is it?'

`Um... It's Justin. I just wanted...'

`Come in.' Lance said before he started to cough.

Justin pushed the door open and shyly walked into the room.

`What do you want?' Asked Lance once he was recovered from his coughing fit.

`I...um... well... I thought...' Justin shuffled on the spot.

Lance sat up straight in his bed and it took all Justin's willpower not to gasp out loud. Lance had lost a visible amount of weight over the past few weeks.

`I've brought you something. I thought that you would be bored by now.'

Lance raised one eyebrow, knowing that he was giving Justin a very uncomfortable feeling.

`I brought something to read. It's a bit of drama, comedy, romance and action all in one.'

`You brought me a Playgirl?' Lance asked.

Justin blushed and shook his head. He shoved the plastic bag in Lance's hands and stared at his shoes.

Lance unwrapped the book and smiled. `Harry Potter. Wow, thanks man!'

Justin looked up with a hint of a smile on his face. `You like that?'

Lance nodded. `I wanted to read it but the library didn't have it and I didn't want to ask Josh to buy it for me. He buys me enough already.'

The smile on Justin's face grew bigger. Lance reached inside the bag again and pulled out the CD and another book. Lance glanced at the songs on the CD and placed it on his nightstand.

`What's this?' Lance held a math book in the air.

`I'm supposed to finish an assignment tonight but I have to clean the playroom so I won't have time for it. I'll make up an excuse tomorrow.'

`Or is it that you don't understand the problem and can't be bothered with it?'

For the second time in five minutes Justin blushed.

`Ha! Caught you! I love math. Maybe I can help?'

Justin shrugged and checked his watch. `I've got a few more minutes before Joey will haul my ass to the playroom.'

Lance opened the book and Justin told him where he was stuck. Soon after they were both sitting on the bed going through the math problems.

**

Chris stared through the window at the two young men. It made him smile to see the beginning of what he hoped was going to be a close friendship. Chris saw the reflection of Joshua in the window and leaned back as two warm arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

`What are you smiling about?' Joshua asked, his breath tickling Chris's ear.

`Those two.'

Joshua rested his chin on Chris's shoulder and stared inside Lance's room.

`Justin should be doing his services now, not sitting on Lance's bed. What are they doing there anyway?'

`I think that they are doing homework.'

Joshua smiled. `I knew it. From the moment that I saw Justin, all rough and tough, I knew that he wasn't all like that.'

`Maybe they'll see what I'm seeing.' Chris said with a laugh.

`Oh no... Justin is very straight, Chris.'

`That's not what I meant. A strong friendship. I think that they can be good friends. Justin came to me the other day with loads of questions about AIDS and HIV. I don't know where he got all that information but he has been doing some homework of his own.'

Joshua squeezed Chris a little tighter. `Shall we go home? Light some candles, run the bath, enjoy a nice evening together?'

Chris turned in his boyfriends arms. `Can I give you a massage? Shall we order pasta or Indian? Oh and we've got that bottle of wine...'

Joshua quickly silenced him with a kiss. `Let's get home first ok?'

** `The handsome prince lifted the beautiful princess in his arms and together they rode towards the sunset. And they lived happily ever after.'

Justin closed the fairytale book and looked at Mandy who was lying on his chest, sound asleep. A little thumb was silently sucked on as the girl snuggled close to Justin's warmth.

`Hey.'

Justin looked up and saw Lance in the doorway.

`Hey, come in.'

Lance entered Mandy's room and sat down on the chair next to the bed. `So she managed to persuade you to read a bedtime story huh?'

Justin nodded, gently sliding Mandy onto the bed. `Shall we go to your room? I don't want to wake her.'

Justin covered Mandy with her blankets and the two men walked to the room across the hall.

Lance crawled into bed and now Justin took his usual chair next to the bed.

`How did your math test go?' Lance asked.

I aced it. The teacher checked it three times because he couldn't believe that Justin Timberlake was passing a test.' Justin beamed with pride. I felt so good man. Thanks for the help.'

`No problem, any time.'

The boys sat in silence for a long time.

`I should go home.' Justin finally said.

`I know. Will you be back tomorrow?' Lance tried not to sound too hopeful but failed.

`Oh I'll be back. Don't worry.' Justin squeezed his hand and was gone.

**

The next day Justin didn't show. The day after Justin didn't show either. Joshua had called his house but his mother had no idea where her no-good son was. Lance was worried. He sat next to the door the whole day, reading his Harry Potter book, waiting for Justin to rush in. But no one came.

The next day it was Thanksgiving and Joshua and Chris had cooked the whole ward a Thanksgiving dinner. Joey and Kelly brought their daughter to the ward and Lance gave Joey the biggest hug that he could.

Everyone sat around one big table in the play room. Lance insisted on saving one seat for Justin, just in case. But as the dinner progressed Lance was sure that Justin wouldn't show.

Joshua was about to serve the cake when the door to the playroom was opened and Justin stepped inside. Everyone fell silent as they looked at the young man standing by the door. His left eye was closed shut due to a massive bruise. He had dried up blood under his nose and on his lips. Justin silently limped towards the table and stopped in front of Lance. Justin pushed a box in Lance's hand before he fell on the floor.

Chris and Joey jumped up and rushed to Justin's side. Joshua ran to the medical room to get some supplies and Kelly got a gurney.

Chris cut Justin's shirt of his body and winced. `Someone used his ribs as a football.'

Justin's eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes, gasping for some air. `Happy Thanksgiving.' Justin muttered.

`Justin, what happened?' Joshua asked.

My friends were waiting for me when I came back from the ward.' Justin stopped for a second when Joey was tending his wounds with antiseptic. They asked me where I had been the last few weeks and I told them that I was doing the community service. Ouch, Joey!'

Joey apologized and continued with his work.

`They said that I was a fairy, getting good grades, spending so much time with the queers at the AIDS ward. So I punched one of them but they outnumbered me.'

`But that was 2 days ago.' Lance said with worry in his voice.

I woke up yesterday on the spot where they beat me up and spent the day roaming around. I had bought your present a while ago and I went home to get it. My mother started yelling at me. And I decided to spend Thanksgiving with the people....' Justin hesitated a little. The people that I care about.'

Lance bit his lip not to cry and held on to the box in his arms.

`Open it.' Justin urged while Chris turned him on his side to check for more injuries.

Lance slowly opened the box and looked at Justin with big eyes. I had just finished part one.' Lance pulled the second Harry Potter book out of the box. Thanks.'

Justin smiled and closed his eyes.

**

Justin slowly opened his eyes again and was disorientated. His room didn't look or smelled like this. He jerked up and cried out in pain as his ribs protested against the sudden movement.

`Are you ok?'

Justin swung his head to the right and looked at Lance. `You scared me.'

`You scared me.' Lance replied, putting his book down.

`What time is it?'

`It's three in the morning.'

`What are you doing up?'

I couldn't sleep.' Lance picked at his cuticles. Do you know how I got AIDS, Justin?'

Justin shook his head. `I don't have to know if you don't want to tell me.'

`Can I come and lay with you?'

Justin nodded and pulled the blanket free from under his body.

Lance jumped out of his bed and snuggled in next to Justin. `As soon as you are uncomfortable you have to tell me ok?'

Justin moved a little to stop his body from aching and nodded.

Lance took a deep breath and started talking.

`I was 14 and I wasn't sure whether I liked boys or girls. I had kissed both and the sparks were there with the boy, but being gay wasn't something that I would ever be able to tell anyone. I was wandering the streets one day after school and I ended up in the gay district. I tried to find my way back but got totally lost.'

Justin felt a shiver go through Lance's body and wrapped a hesitant arm around his waist.

`I took a wrong turn and I was in this alley. I heard some moaning and I was so naive to think that someone was hurt. I walked into the alley and at the end under a stair well I saw three men. They were naked from the waist down and they were having sex. It was erotic strangely enough. The sound of flesh hitting flesh, the musky smell of cum and the passionate moans. I was frozen on the spot. I couldn't move. One of them suddenly turned his head and saw me. I should have run away then.'

Lance clenched his fists as memories flooded back.

`I had an erection and couldn't hide it and the guy warned the others. They stopped and untangled. They turned towards me and asked if I had ever ridden bareback. I thought that they were taking about horses.'

Lance let out a shrill laughter.

`Riding bareback means having gay sex without a condom. A group of people feel it as the most extreme way for expressing freedom. Most men that do it have HIV or AIDS and they willingly spread the disease.'

Justin curled his long body around Lance, trying to protect him from the memories and the pain that caused Lance to stiffen in Justin's arms.

`They raped me, all three of them. Needless to say they did it bareback. I was lucky enough to make it back to the street alive, and someone took me to the hospital. Joshua was in the hospital that same night after his boyfriend had collapsed. He heard me talk to the police and offered to be my lawyer. They caught the three men that did it and they were sentenced for several years. They have all died of AIDS now.'

Lance turned into Justin's arms. `They didn't just take all my dignity and innocence away. They also gave me a life sentence.'

`And seeing me last night must have brought back some memories.' Justin added.

Lance nodded.

Justin pulled him closer. `I'm sorry Lance. I'm sorry for what happened, I'm sorry for the way I reacted when I first saw you and I'm sorry for not showing up after I had promised that I would be there.'

`You are here and you are ok. That's all that matters. I lo...' Lance didn't finish his sentence.

I'm here and I'm ok.' Said Justin. Try to get some sleep. You need the rest.'

Lance rested his head on Justin's shoulder and soon was asleep. Justin stared at the ceiling. Only a few months ago he would have shuddered at the idea of holding a gay man with AIDS in his arms. And now he hated the world for the things that happened to Lance. He wished that he could create a perfect world for Lance, and even little Mandy, to live in; Where Joshua and Chris could be open about their love and where Joey and Kelly had nothing to fear for Brianna. A perfect world where he could be happy. A tear slipped down Justin's cheek. A perfect world where he could give Lance what he longed for. But in this world he couldn't give that little bit of extra love that Lance needed. Justin sighed.

I hope that you'll settle for friendship, Lance.' Justin softly whispered. I don't want to lose a friend like you.'

** Joshua entered the room softly, not wanting to wake both boys yet. He placed a bag on the floor and walked around the bed to the side where Justin was sleeping.

Justin?' Joshua softly said while shaking the boy. Justin?'

Justin's eyelids fluttered and he woke up. He was a little disorientated as he tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

`Justin, I've been to visit your mother today to let her know that you were ok.'

That comment instantly woke Justin up. `What did she say?'

Joshua sat down on a chair and Justin sat up without waking Lance. `She told me that it was time for you to stand on your own two feet.' Joshua's face was filled with pity.

`So she kicked me out?'

Joshua nodded.

`Did she give you anything?' Justin asked in a soft voice.

Joshua pointed at the bag at the other side of the room. `Some clothes, a few books and a trophy.'

`Did she give you any photos?'

Joshua shook his head and Justin took a deep breath. Ok, I should get up and start looking for a shelter or something to stay the night. I should find a job, something to pay the rent.' Justin bit his lip. I won't be able to come as often though.'

`Chris won't let you out of his sight for at least another 3 days. You took a nasty blow to your head.'

`So I'll stay here for three days, finish my hours and than find a place to live.'

Joshua placed a hand over Justin's hand. `I've spoken to Chris already and we'd like you to come and live with us for the time being. Until you've finished high school, then you can find your own place to live.'

`I don't need charity. I can manage on my own.'

Joshua shook his head. It isn't charity. We need someone to clean the house.' He winked at Justin and got a smile in return. Just think about it ok?'

Justin nodded.

`Now get back to sleep. You need your rest.'

Justin waited until Joshua left before lying down. His ribs ached and he felt tears burning behind his closed eyelids. She had finally done it. His mother had finally kicked him out.

Justin sighed deeply and repressed a sob. Lance stirred beside him and Justin rolled onto his side, ignoring the pain that flashed through him.

`Do you want to talk about it?' Lance's deep voice filled the room.

Justin shook his head, knowing that if he would start talking he would also start crying.

`Holding it back won't help Justin.'

`My story isn't important, heartbreaking or horrific like yours.' Justin finally said.

It may not be that to you, but each story should be told.' Lance wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his chest. I'm listening.'

`There's not much to say. My dad ran away when I was four. Mum blamed me for a few years. She met someone new, married him, got two kids and he ditched her about 3 years ago. She blamed me again and hasn't really spoken to me since.'

`How can she blame you when you were only four?'

`I'm an annoying little brat. I was an accident and I should never have been born.'

Justin chocked on the last few words and started crying. Lance pulled Justin over to his other side and wrapped his arms around the trembling boy.

`I wouldn't have read the Harry Potter books if you weren't around. Mandy wouldn't have had anyone to read her bed times stories.'

`Someone else would have come along.'

Lance shook his head. `No, you're wrong. My stay here would have been different without you. I've got someone I can talk to now, someone close to my age instead of a drooling five-year-old.'

Justin started laughing and said ouch at the same time.

`Everyone is special. Some people just can't see that.'

Lance placed a gently kiss on Justin's damp brow and started to hum a song. Justin felt his eyes grow heavy and he was sound asleep within a minute.

** `Chris?'

Justin stood in the doorway to Chris's office.

Justin! Morning.' The doctor said cheerfully. Come in, sit down. Coffee?'

Justin shook his head. `Joey said that you wanted to see me?'

Chris nodded. `You remember that Joshua made you that offer right?'

Justin nodded.

`Have you thought about it?'

`Can't I just live on the ward?'

Chris smiled. `I can't let you do that.'

`But... I... I want to.'

`You can still come and see Lance and Mandy every day. It will be easy for you to hitch a ride.'

Justin sighed in fake defeat. `Alright, but I won't do the cleaning.'

Chris started laughing. `We've got a cleaning lady, don't worry.'

Justin walked out of the office again but came back a few seconds later.

`Can I ask you something?'

Chris looked up from his chart. `What is it?'

`Can you help me fill out some application forms for some medical colleges?'

`Medical colleges?'

`I've been working very hard on my grades and I might be able to make it.'

`Why do you want to go to Medical school?' Chris frowned.

`I want to help here. I mean... I may not be able to save Lance and Mandy but there will be another Lance or Mandy and I might be able to help them.'

Chris thought for a few seconds and a bright smile appeared on his face. ` Just keep that thought in the back of your mind. We'll get you settled in first and than I'll help you with the right application forms."

**

It was a day before Christmas when Mandy took a turn for the worse. She had been vomiting blood all day and Chris feared for her life. A strong cough racked her small and fragile body every five minutes or so and Chris sat by her bedside, holding her hand.

Justin hovered in front of the bed the whole time, aching to help her. `Can you give her some antibiotics?' He asked for the zillionth time.

Chris shook his head. `That wouldn't help anymore. I just hope that she will pass away soon.'

He had lost three other patients already that week and the lack of sleep and food was finally catching up with him.

Justin turned away to the window and noticed, `Look man, it's snowing. It never snows here.'

He turned back to Chris with a smile on his face. `We have to let the kids see and feel the snow.'

`How do you plan to do that? Half of them are in bed with a cold.'

`Just watch me.'

Justin dashed out of the room and Chris heard him yell Joey's name.

A few minutes later he came back with a wheelchair filled with blankets.

`Wrap her up warm and I'll go and get Lance.'

Justin dashed away again.

Chris knew that what he was doing wasn't right but he didn't want to see that smile on Justin's face fade, and he heard Joey gather all the other kids.

He wrapped Mandy in several blankets and was just about to place her in the wheelchair when Justin came back.

`No, wait.'

Justin sat down in the chair and patted his legs. `Put her on my lap.'

Chris placed the small child in Justin's arms.

`Now, take us outside!' Justin ordered with a smile.

Chris pushed the wheel chair through the now empty hall and onto the terrace. Justin had done a good job. Each child was wrapped in a warm blanket or two and the sickest ones were in a wheelchair. Chris placed the chair with Justin next to Lance's.

They watched the snow fall in silence. You were almost able to hear the snow flakes touch the grounds. Justin caught a few on his hand, where they melted instantly.

It's like the kids.' He softly said. They are born in the clouds, happy and cheerful but before they are fully able to enjoy their descent to earth they melt away.'

Justin held out Mandy's hand and watched the snow flakes melt. He glanced over to Lance and saw the boy stare at the snow with an intense look on his face.

`You have to stick your tongue out and catch them like that.'

Lance cocked an eyebrow but wheeled his chair to the edge of the terrace and with his face turn upwards tried to catch a few snowflakes. The other children started to giggle but one after another made their way to the edge and tried the same thing.

Chris started laughing. It was a beautiful sight to see.

Justin didn't move his chair. He just sat there, caressing Mandy's hair. He tried to memorize the smile on their faces. He didn't want to think of the fact that maybe tomorrow some of them wouldn't be here anymore. He sniffed a little bit.

`You ok?' Asked Kelly, who appeared beside him.

Justin nodded. `She got to see the snow.'

Kelly frowned for a second and than realization hit her. She quickly whispered something in Chris's ear and the doctor turned to Justin. `Shall we take her inside?'

Justin shook his head. `I don't want to spoil their fun yet.'

A single tear rolled down his cheek. `It's just so unfair Chris.'

Chris placed a hand on Justin's shoulder. `I know.'

** Justin wrapped a band aid around his finger as he entered Lance's room. He had cut his finger while making some bread for the kids in the dinning room. Lance had been too ill to make it down there for lunch.

`Hey man.' Justin greeted Lance cheerfully.

Lance replied by sneezing very hard a few times. Lance pressed a tissue against his nose.

`My nose is running.' Lance said apologetic.

Justin sat down next to Lance and saw the tissue color red. `You have a nose bleed.'

Justin jumped up to grab a cloth when Lance removed the tissue. Blood was running from his nose so hard that Justin instantly pressed his hand against Lance's face.

`Where's your button?'

Lance held the nurse's button in the air.

`Press it.'

It didn't take long for Joey and Kelly to run into the room.

`His nose is bleeding bad and I can't get it to stop.' Justin was now applying pressure on Lance's nose.

`We got it.' Joey shoved Justin out of the way.

Justin walked to the sink to wash his hands. He froze as he stared at the blood soaked band aid. He slowly unwrapped the small aid and swallowed hard.

`You ok?' Kelly asked as she put on her rubber gloves.

Justin nodded and hid the Band-Aid away. He washed the blood off his hands and walked away to give Joey and Kelly enough space to tend to Lance. He passed Mandy's old room and sighed. He had received three rejection letters so far. Chris told him not to give up, to remember what he had said about helping the next Lance and Mandy. Justin threw the blood-soaked Band-Aid away and continued with the rest of his chores for the day.

** `Honey, I'm home' Chris' clear voice was heard throughout the apartment.

`Shh.' Joshua came out of the kitchen wearing a nice apron and Chris whistled. Joshua slapped him with a tea towel.

`How is the little man?'

`Still feverish. He is sleeping.'

Chris walked to the couch and touched Justin's forehead. `Did you put a cold cloth on his forehead?'

Joshua nodded. `I may not have a medical degree but I do know how to take care of someone with the flu.'

`Maybe I should stay home from work tomorrow.' Chris thought out loud.

`Honey, I can easily work from home. You can't examine your patients here in the living room.'

Chris looked at Joshua. `Alright, but only because you look so darn cute in that apron.'

Joshua started to giggle and Chris placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek. `I bet that you'll look even better without that apron.'

Joshua giggled again and they made their way to the bedroom.

Justin glanced through his eyelashes, relieved that Chris and Joshua were gone for the time being. It gave him at least half an hour without Joshua fussing about around him. He smiled and closed his eyes fully again. Maybe he would be able to get some sleep now.

**

`Pine Tree Avenue AIDS Clinic, how may I help you?'

`Um...right...I'm calling for the results of a test?'

`What's the number, sir?'

`Um... it's 2498547.'

`One moment, sir.'

`Um, ok.'

`The results came back positive.'

`Um...t-t-t....thank you.'

`Have a nice day, sir.'

**

Lance was sitting at the small desk in the corner of his room. He was so concentrated on what he was writing that he didn't see or hear Joey enter the room. Until the Italian nurse placed a hand on his shoulder and Lance jumped a foot in the air.

`Geez, I think that I just had my first heart attack.' Lance said whilst trying to breath normally again.

`I did call out your name and even knocked.' Joey replied in an apologetic tone.

`That's ok. I was just working on something and I want it finished before Chris goes home.'

Joey grabbed a chair and sat down next to Lance. `Anything I can help you with?'

`I'm writing my will Joey. You can't help unless there is something in my possession that you can't wait to get your hands on. You might be able to convince me to leave it to you.'

Joey whistled through his teeth. `A will? That's serious.'

`Well, yeah, I'm dying and that's kinda serious too.'

`I know, kid. I know.'

Lance stared at the paper in front of him. `Am I being too selfish if I would leave all my books to Justin and not the library?'

Joey shrugged. `It's your will. You have to decide who gets what. I can't do that for you.'

`Is Justin here yet?'

Joey shook his head. `Joshua is torturing him. He has to study each day.'

Lance smiled a sad smile. `I miss him. He hasn't been here a lot ever since he got the flu.'

`Maybe he just doesn't want to risk you getting the flu too.'

`You can't get the flu through a phone line and he hasn't called either.'

Joey patted Lance's shoulder. `Do you want something to drink?'

Lance shook his head. `Just want to finish this. Chris is taking to home to Joshua so that he can make it legal. I want to decide no matter what my parents want.'

Joey gave him an encouraging smile and left the room. It hurt deep inside to hear Lance talk of a will and dying. But it was the harsh reality in which he worked and lived.

**

Joshua came home during the day. He had been in rush that morning after Chris had stalled him for too long in the bathroom and he had dashed out, forgetting half his files. He sighed with relief when he saw them lying on the kitchen table. Thank god that Chris didn't clean up otherwise he would have needed at least 2 hours to locate the files.

Joshua placed the files in his briefcase and walked to the kitchen to get some fruit for on the way back to the office. He passed Justin's room and almost didn't notice the young man sitting on his bed. Joshua stopped and pushed the door a little more open.

`Justin?'

The younger man startled and looked up with big eyes filled with tears.

`Hey, what's wrong?'

Justin turned his head and mumbled something inaudible. Joshua sat down next to him on the bed and frowned when Justin flinched and moved away from him.

`Why are you home? I thought that you'd be with Chris all day.'

`I got my results back today.'

Joshua started smiling. `And? Come on, tell me.'

Justin handed him a letter. Joshua quickly read the contents and he sighed with relief.

Congratulations Justin. I'm so proud of you.' Joshua leaned forward to hug Justin but the teen jumped of the bed and shouted; Don't touch me.'

Joshua blinked in shock and said: `I only wanted to give you a hug. I'm proud of you. You did great.'

Justin snorted. `What's the use?'

`You are top of your class Justin. You can now go to any medical school you'd like.'

`They won't accept me.'

Joshua shook his head in confusion. `Why won't they accept you? You've done so well the last year. Your grades have been perfect.'

`They won't take me if they found out the truth.' Justin started crying again.

Joshua was truly confused now. `What truth? About you living with us here? Or that you are working on the AIDS ward?'

Justin shook his head and reached out to grab Joshua's hand. `Please don't hate me.' He whispered.

`Of course I don't hate you. Why would I hate you?'

Justin took a deep breath and said; `I'm HIV positive.'

The only thing that was audible in the room was Justin's labored breathing. Joshua stared at him in shock, not knowing how to respond to this news.

`You hate me, don't you?' Justin asked after he couldn't bear the silence anymore.

Joshua bit his lips to prevent his tears from falling but he failed. `Oh god, Justin, I couldn't hate you for that.'

He pulled the sobbing boy in his arms. `Are you sure? Did you get tested?'

Justin nodded against his chest. `I went to one of the clinics down town. I had to do it before I needed the six-month test at the ward.'

`What happened? How did it happen?' Joshua stroke Justin's hair and tried to get his thoughts in one line.

I had cut my finger and...' Justin hiccupped. Lance had a nose bleed. I tried to stop it.'

`Did you tell Lance or Chris?'

Justin shook his head. `I'm so afraid that you might kick me out. I didn't want to tell until I had graduated. Now I can find a job and move out. Each time that I saw Lance I wanted to tell him but I couldn't. '

Joshua placed a hand under Justin's chin and lifted Justin's head. `You aren't going anywhere. You are going to college. I'll try to find some loop hole in the admission rules.'

`But...' Justin didn't get to finish his sentence as the phone rang. Joshua reached over Justin and grabbed the phone.

`Hello?'

Joshua listened for a few seconds and put the received down again.

`That was Chris. We have to get to the hospital. Lance is dying.'

Justin quickly wiped his eyes, stuffed the letter in his back pocket and stood by the door in two seconds.

**

Joshua and Justin ran through the hospital corridors. Chris had called twice while they were driving down to the hospital and Justin feared that they won't make it on time. He rounded the corner, threw the doors open and ran straight to Lance's room. Justin stopped in shock when he saw the room completely empty.

He is on the ICU.' Kelly, who came out a room, said. Hurry Justin, you can't be too late.'

Justin ran further down the hall to the ICU rooms. Joshua followed him and they both were panting when they found the room.

Chris opened the door and let them in. `He has been waiting for you.'

Justin sniffled and sat down next to the bed. `Lance?'

The blonde's eyes fluttered open and he tried to smile. `I knew that you would come.'

`I graduated Lance, I did it. Top of my class!'

Lance smiled. Justin took his hand and gently caressed it with his thumb.

You can't die Lance.' Justin whispered with tears in his eyes. I need you. I want you there when I get my degree.'

A tear slipped down Lance's cheek. `It's time for me to go Justin. I can't live in pain. I don't want to live in pain.'

`Please, Lance.'

`Just don't forget me ok?' Lance swallowed hard.

`You are living inside me forever.' Justin said and he squeezed Lance's hand.

Just remember...' Lance closed his eyes and Justin called out his name in panic. Lance opened his eyes again. Just remember that I love you.'

Justin started crying and nodded. `I love you Lance. Maybe not the way you wanted but I do love you.'

He pressed his lips against Lance's in an innocent attempt to give Lance what he wanted before he died. He felt Lance sigh against his lips and Justin let out a repressed sob.

He didn't need to look up to know that Lance had died. Justin buried his head in Lance's shoulder and cried.

The other people present in the room, Chris, Joey and Joshua, knew what Justin was feeling at the moment. Joshua leaned in against Chris and let his tears flow. Joey tried to fill out the last details on Lance's chart but his tears were blurring his vision.

After a few minutes Chris was the first to move again. `Come Justin, we need to give Joey some room to prepare Lance.'

Joshua and Chris helped the sobbing boy from the bed and led him to an empty room. Joshua pulled Justin on his lap and Justin clung to him.

I need Lance.' Justin sobbed. He is only one that understands.'

Chris raised an eyebrow and looked at Joshua.

`I'm here Justin and so is Chris. We can do this together.'

Justin raised his head and looked at Chris. `What if he will kick me out?'

Chris was the confused now. `Kick you out for what?'

`Lance is inside me Chris. I'm HIV positive.'

Chris' eyes grew big. `You had unprotected sex with Lance?' He hollered.

Justin flinched inside Joshua's embrace. `It was a reflex; I just wanted to help him.'

Joshua quickly told Chris what Justin had told him.

Chris wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and the sobbing teenager in his arms. `We'll figure out a way. I love you, Joshua loves you and Lance loved you.'

`I couldn't tell him. I didn't want him to die knowing that he signed my death sentence.'

`It's ok Justin. You made him happy. He died happy.'

Justin nodded and snuggled closer in the warm embrace of the two people that took him in when the rest of the world walked out.

** `We are gathered here today to say goodbye. Goodbye is never easy; goodbye is never a pleasant thing to do. But I can say from the depth of my heart that it's with joy that we say goodbye to these fine individuals today. For the past 6 years we had our ups and downs. We shared joy and grief but mostly laughter. Today we are saying goodbye to a few brilliant minds, young persons that will make it big in the medical world. I'd like to step aside for a special person. He is top of the class, always there for his fellow students and teachers. Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake.'

The Dean stepped down and applauded along with everyone else that had gathered on the sunny field in front of the local medical college. Justin stepped forward and his eyes darted over the crowd. Chris and Joshua were sitting on the front row. Their lively two-year-old adopted daughter was trying to wiggle her way of Joshua's lap. Both men beamed with pride and Justin smiled at them.

`If someone would have told me years ago that I would be standing here today accepting my medical degree, I would have laughed right in their face. But I didn't know than that I would meet someone that would chance my life forever.'

Justin stared at the ring he had inherited from Lance.

`I was caught doing something I wasn't supposed to do and sentenced to community services. Luckily for me, my lawyer was able to help me. I could do some odd jobs on an AIDS ward. I have to tell you that I was one of those ignorant people that thought you could AIDS by getting breathed on. Working on that ward made me realize two things; life is short and friendship no matter how short is forever.'

Justin swallowed away a few tears and noticed that Joshua was already crying.

`I met Lance. Lance was a young kid who got infected with the virus after being raped by three men in an alley. He was lost, he didn't know how to get home and three men took advantage of that. Lance and I became friends. There have been many days in the past years that I wished that Lance was there to share them with me but he died in the summer that I graduated from high school. Lance left me two things.'

Justin raised his hand to show the ring.

`He left me his ring. According to his will, it was given to him by his grandfather. And Lance gave me HIV.'

The crowd gasped, wondering how he could have graduated from medical college with HIV.

`I know that you are all worried about your sons and daughters now but they knew. When I had to introduce myself in the first year I stood up and said "My name is Justin Timberlake, I'm HIV positive and don't worry I won't breathe on you." Lance had a nose bleed one day. In a reflex I did what everyone else would do; I tried to stop it. It would have been ok if only I didn't have a fresh cut on my finger.'

`Through the years I've met people that are as ignorant as I used to be. People that didn't want to talk me as I was "the kid with AIDS." People that gossiped around my back, people that treated me like shit. But I'm standing here today thanks to those people. They were my ultimate driving force to get me through medical college. They were the ones that made me follow my dreams. My dream is to find a cure for HIV. To help the next Lance that might come along.'

Justin smiled suddenly, reliving some of the tension that building inside of him.

`But most of all there were two people that believed in me when no one else did, two people that supported me through hell and back. Sometimes I wish that they could have adopted me but I was sixteen when I moved in with them so that was out of the question. But to me they are my dads.'

Chris mouthed an "I love you" to Justin.

`But we aren't here today to talk just about me. We are today to celebrate something unique. These fifteen people behind and myself have achieved something some of us never thought we would. We have graduated today. We are now ready to start our internship, to start working in the real world. As for me, I'm reading to work on that cure for HIV. Congratulations everyone.'

The class behind him started cheering as soon as Justin was finished. They all scooped Justin in a big hug. Justin barely managed to stand on his feet but his eyes locked with Joshua and Chris and his heart burst with joy to see the proud tears reflected in their eyes.

The End

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