College Life -- Part Three
by ds elliot
This is the story of two college men involved in a gay relationship. There are details of sexual contact. If such stories offend you, if you aren't of legal age to read such stories, or if such stories are illegal in your area -- please stop now and redirect your browser to another location.
This story is for your enjoyment on this site only. You may not link this story to any other site or publish this story in any other location. All rights are reserved by the author. Copyright 2004.
Please share your comments and constructive criticisms with me at:dselliot28@yahoo.com
and now to Part Three...
When we talked about whom Ryan had invited, the list included ten guys he played ball with on a fairly regular basis. We decided to add a few people to the list and ended with fifteen of the guys we normally played sports with or who were in classes. They were all people we thought were out friends. With their dates we had thirty people coming to our party. We decided that cooking burgers and hot dogs with plenty of chips and some basic salads along with lots of beer would be plenty. Since neither of us was of legal age yet we enlisted a friend, Ben, who was 21 to get the beer. When Ben and Ryan came back from the store they carted in seven cases of beer. They were laughing and carrying on like they always had. The three of us talked like we always had in the past. Ryan's revelation didn't seem to make any difference to Ben. I was hoping all of the guys would handle the news as well.
Saturday morning found both Ryan and I in the kitchen preparing for the party. Ryan was more helpful than usual with the salads. By the time our first guests arrived we were ready to relax and enjoy the party. We had a huge tub on the patio filled with ice and beer so it was the first place everyone went. All but one of those invited brought a friend or a date. The one who came alone had recently been trough a bad breakup so that was understandable. In all it was a great afternoon. By the time the sun was going down most of our guests began to leave. A few still hung around drinking more and still in the party mood. We ended up with two guys who were too drunk to drive so Ryan gave them rides back to their places. While he was doing that I took the time to clean up a majority of the mess. It occurred to me as I cleaned up that Ryan really hadn't been drunk since before we went to the cabin. We had a glass of wine here and there or a beer on a hot day, but he never did drink to excess anymore. I was really proud of him for the strength it probably took to overcome that. Even today with plenty to drink here and several of the guys drinking a lot more than they should have, Ryan seemed content to be sober.
The start of our second year came sooner than we really wanted, but I think we were both ready to get started none the less. Having our home off campus seemed to cause both of us to spend more time on campus each day. We managed to have lunch together each day, but were now starting to get more into our major fields so we were spending time in different areas. Ryan had decided that he really was interested in law and criminal justice while I had discovered a strong interest in business management -- the result of spending my summer working in an office setting. I considered myself still searching because my original plan was to major in English Lit, and I was still very drawn to that area of study.
Our evenings were spent studying together. The third bedroom was turned into our 'office' with our computers and research books. As school progressed we seemed to spend more time in our 'office' than in the bedroom, but we soon found that we could have sex in the office just as easily as in the bedroom. We kept our weekends for our time together. Whatever plans we made for that time always included the other. We didn't shut ourselves off from the rest of the world, but we did do things together. We both played ball together with old friends from our dorm and the guys left from Ryan's hometown. We started golfing together with a group of guys Ryan met in the Criminal Justice Department. We weren't doing the conditioning course this quarter, but we decided to spend two hours three afternoons playing tennis or swimming.
We watched several of our friends date and enter into relationships that for whatever reason didn't last. Ryan and I always seemed to grow stronger and closer. Having so much time together during the summer helped I suppose, but we seemed to make the best use of the time we had together. We often discussed those breakups we knew about and considered how hard it was for even straight guys to maintain relationships with all the pressure and stress of school. We were both thankful that we seemed to have a more solid foundation than most of the guys we knew. I don't think either of us ever really considered that gay men have it much more difficult than straight men. It wasn't our experience at the time. We had somehow found each other and were committed to making our relationship work and last. As we got closer to the end of the quarter and the holiday break, Ryan and I started talking about the fact that we really didn't know any other gay couples or even any other gay men for that matter. We didn't advertise the fact that we were gay. I suppose we had a different mindset. To both of us we were men who happened to be in love with each other. Neither of us advertised our sexuality nor put it openly on display. While there were times when I know we both would have enjoyed being able to hold hands as we walked across campus or kissed as we parted to go in our own directions, both of us were aware that it wasn't appropriate. We made certain to take care of the kissing at home when we headed off to classes and always kissed and held each other when we arrived home. We also had some of those days when one or the other felt the need for more closeness than usual. When those days happened we just seemed to sit closer or hold hands more or kiss each other more. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we adapted to the circumstances without really thinking about any of it. Sure, we did relish those times when we could hold hands in public -- like at a darkened movie theater or on a hike in the wooded area surrounding town. I don't think either of us felt less loved because we didn't have those public displays of affection. While we both came from affectionate families, neither of us felt like we weren't being honest or true to each other or ourselves. We did hug close friends when appropriate, but we weren't the type that hugged for no reason or for insignificant reasons.
We decided that we wanted to find other gay couples or other gay men. I don't know that either of us knew what we hoped to find aside from companionship with others who shared our lifestyle. Over the holidays we looked around town for places we'd heard about. Most of those were bars that we weren't old enough to get into. The rest were bookstores or sex shops that totally grossed us out within a short time of our first visit.
We did attend the first meeting of a gay group on campus once winter quarter began. The meeting lasted two hours one evening. On the walk back home we were stunned by what we had encountered at the meeting. Many of the men who introduced themselves were far too touchy- feely for either of us and made us uncomfortable right at the start. Many were what we both considered to by the stereotypical gay man with excessive arm and hand movements, a swishing walk, loud catty talk, and glares that were focused on assessing one's sexual potential rather than the person as a complete package. I particularly hated those looks that started at the top of my head and traveled to my feet with a lengthy pause at my groin area. It made me feel very uncomfortable -- like I was being undressed in front of strangers. The topics covered during that session had to do with a dance that was planned for Valentine's Day and the committee working on that, action being taken on the part of a group of gay men who believed they were discriminated against at the college clinic, and several petty complaints and demands from the audience. At the social hour part of the meeting Ryan and I did meet three guys who seemed as uncomfortable as we felt. We exchanged names and talked more about school and our majors than about anything even remotely considered to be gay.
Three or four days after that meeting I ran into one of the guys we'd actually talked with after the meeting. I couldn't remember his name, but he remembered me. We re-introduced ourselves. His name was Randy. We talked as we walked towards the Student Center where I was meeting Ryan for lunch. Since he had followed me this far I invited him to join us for lunch. The conversation was light and very pleasant. Randy seemed like a decent guy to both of us so we did exchange phone numbers.
Randy called one Saturday just before Ryan and I left for the campus pool. We invited him to join us, and he did. Ryan and I used our times at the pool for exercise so we really did concentrate on laps. Randy wasn't a skilled swimmer, but he seemed to enjoy splashing around in the water while we completed our workout.
The three of us went to a small deli off campus for lunch. When we finished eating and most of the small talk seemed to end, Randy made no move to leave. It felt like we had this lost puppy that certainly would follow us home because we fed him. I think we both felt bad about just leaving Randy at the deli so Ryan invited him to our house for the afternoon. My first thought when I heard his invitation was that we'd never get rid of him if we brought him home, but I learned to roll along with Ryan so we all walked back to our place.
Once inside our home Ryan and I kissed out of habit and a desire for personal closeness. Ryan and I sat close on the sofa while Randy took a chair. Randy seemed to be more comfortable now that we were here. He started talking...
"So you two are a couple then?" "Yes." "How long have you been together?" "We were roommates last year and discovered that we loved each other over Spring Break last year." "So you knew each other before you came here?" "No. We met when we both moved into the dorm." "And you both were gay? What are the odds of that happening?"
We both laughed a little then related an abbreviated version of our story to Randy. After we'd brought him up to date with the basics of our relationship he asked,
"So you really do love each other?" "Yes we do. We are committed to each other." "Is the sex good? I mean is it better since you are in love with each other?" "Neither of us had sex before we got together over Spring Break." "What about you Randy? Are you dating someone?" "I've managed to get picked up at the gay bars a couple of times, but I'm not dating anyone. I haven't really dated anyone actually. I've mostly just gone home with some guys for sex and that is about it." "Is the sex good?" Ryan asked (and I elbowed him in the ribs after his question) "It is just sex. It feels good at the time, but there really doesn't seem to be much emotion involved in it. It's better than masturbating most of the time." "Do you go to the gay group meetings regularly?" "The one I met you two at was the second one I've been to. I went mostly to see if I could meet someone on campus. I was hoping to find someone to date maybe. I don't think I have that 'gaydar' thing that I've heard about. I can't really tell who is gay and who isn't. Like if I'd met either or both of you outside of that meeting I would never have guessed you were gay. I was just hoping that I could find someone appealing to me is all."
We continued to discuss places to meet gay men. Ryan and I realized that we really didn't know of any place because we'd gone to the meeting for similar reasons to Randy. Granted neither of us was looking for sex, but we were looking to make friends.
As Randy was getting ready to leave, we told him we'd stay in touch and hopefully get together again and maybe even meet at the next group meeting. Randy seemed happy with that as he left for the walk back to his dorm. I kissed Ryan as we closed the door and sarcastically thanked him for making us go to the next gay group meeting. I couldn't be mad at him -- at least not for more than a second or two. One kiss led to more until we finally decided to take it to the comfort of the bed.
As winter ended and spring began, Ryan received an invitation from one of the more popular and prestigious fraternities to meet with them and discuss membership in the fraternity. As we read his letter I recalled that Ryan had mentioned pledging the frat during the first quarter we lived together, but I'd never asked the outcome. It turned out that he didn't pledge because he was too wrapped up thinking about me. We laughed at that as I encouraged him to RSVP the invitation. He told me he wasn't interested in joining unless I was going to join too. I tried to explain that we didn't have to do everything together and that this was something he really wanted. I was less concerned about joining a fraternity. I knew the benefits that one could reap from membership, but the dues and fees even the least popular frats required of members were still way beyond my modest means. We left that discussion with Ryan agreeing to call and decline if he really wasn't interested, but if he even had a slight interest then he should just go see what it was all about.
Ryan did meet with the leadership of the fraternity one afternoon. He didn't say too much about the meeting aside from minor details telling me about some of the members. I was very impressed by his list of men who were part of the fraternity -- several very prominent men in society -- from judges to politicians to doctors to corporate heads. The list seemed endless. He didn't seem to want to say more so I dropped it. I was quite surprised the next week when we both received letters from the frat. Both manila envelopes looked the same so I assumed both contained the same information. I opened the one addressed to me. The letter was a 'Welcome to the Fraternity' letter. As I read the letter I saw that I was invited/commanded to join members at a formal ceremony three weeks hence where all of the pledges would be formally inducted into the fraternity. The letter went on to list several prominent members who would be attending and speaking at the ceremony. I was fumbling through the many pages when Ryan walked in the door.
I'm certain he knew when he said it that his "Oh good, you got the letter" comment would need a lot more of an explanation than that. He hung up his jacket and got two bottles of juice from the fridge then sat next to me on the sofa. I asked,
"Ryan, what is this all about?" "Give me your hand. Ok. Well you know I went to the meeting with the guys at the fraternity. It sounded like a really great deal, but I told them we were a package and that I wouldn't join if you weren't going to join too." "Ryan, somehow that just doesn't seem like the whole story." "Oh geez Jake... not the whole story." He chuckled as he took a drink of his juice. He took a deep breath then started... "Ok the whole story this time. Well, you might guess that my high school grades weren't good enough to get me into this school without some help. My dad and grandfather and several uncles and aunts on both sides of my family have gone to this school. I knew I was going to this school before I even knew what college was. Most of the men in my family also belonged to this fraternity. My dad and my grandfather are still pretty involved in it actually. In fact my grandfather donated a huge chunk of money to build the frat house here. I'm a legacy and that means that I'm pretty much guaranteed membership because of my dad and granddad. Since you are his son too by marriage well you are also a legacy so you are guaranteed membership too. I suppose it also helps that my grandfather probably put some pressure on the board to allow us both to become members. I told the guy I talked to that we were a couple. He didn't seem to be shocked by the news so I guess he'd already heard that. He told me that there were some other members who were gay, but that it was never advertised or mentioned. I thought about what the guy said then talked with my dad. I decided that the benefits of membership could help both of us in the future with connections in the world of business or politics or whatever we decide to do when we finish school. We don't have to change our lifestyle. We are still in love with each other, and we will still be a couple, and I don't think anything will change. Oh and we don't have to go through any of that hazing crap or attend weekly meetings unless we want to. There are some major events that we will have to attend, but he told me that there isn't usually more than one per quarter unless we decide to run for one of the fraternity offices. I think that is the whole story. Oh wait... we do have an appointment at this men's store in town on Saturday to get fitted for tuxes. I don't know if you noticed or not but it is a formal affair and neither of us has a tux."
I didn't say anything as I let it all digest. My Ryan was rolling along, and I knew that I would be rolling along with him. It really never occurred to me that I wouldn't. I was pleased with the opportunity really. This was one I would never get without him, and I was grateful.
"Wanna go check out the frat house?" Ryan asked. "You can get an idea of what the place is like and see a picture of my -- I mean -- our grandfather. Actually it is more like a shrine to my grandfather than just his picture. He will be at the ceremony so you will get to meet him then. Oh, remind me to tell you about him before you meet him."
Ryan's grandfather wasn't thrilled about Ryan's choice of a life partner. I learned that he was actually more than a little upset with the living situation. I guess he was also a lot more upset because Ryan hadn't pledged the fraternity as his grandfather had expected. His grandfather was very accustomed to getting his way in all things. I was expecting a confrontation the night of the fraternity ceremony, but he was extremely cordial. It was a fantastic night of meeting famous men and really feeling like part of a brotherhood that I hadn't anticipated or expected. The rituals were steeped in traditions dating back many decades. In all, it was awe inspiring and motivational and even spiritual. As the celebration began to wind down, Ryan and I began to thank his many family members present, telling them that we appreciated their support and to wish them a good evening. When we found his grandfather, we both thanked him for the opportunity he had given us. While still cordial he invited -- no really he insisted -- that we come to New York the following weekend to visit him so we could talk. He told us to arrive for lunch on Saturday and that we would be staying through Sunday..
I'm not sure which of us was dreading the trip to New York more as we started the drive. We had been more than a little subdued all week. On the drive Ryan filled me in more about his grandfather -- though he kept calling him 'our' grandfather. We drove to a huge high rise where 'our' grandfather lived. The car was valet parked for us after the doorman removed our bags from the car. I was already in awe of the experience. Entering the lobby didn't help to quell my feelings of being in a world I really wasn't prepared to enter. The ride in the elevator only increased my apprehension. I could feel my palms sweat and my body heat rise the closer we got to the top floors. The elevator opened to a beautiful foyer. As we approached the door, it was opened to a perfectly dressed servant who greeted us. We were escorted to the library as our bags were taken from us by yet another servant. While sitting in the library another servant brought a silver tray with a sliver coffee pot and silver containers for sugar and cream. The tray contained perfectly decorated pastries beautifully arranged on a serving plate. Our coffee was poured and pastries were presented. I felt like I was in some movie or fantasy. None of this could possibly be real. Already I'd counted four different servants and we'd just come through the door. It didn't seem so much pretentious as it just felt like wealth and power. This wasn't a show of conspicuous consumption as much as it really seemed a way of life that I had never considered existed in the world. I had to set my coffee cup and saucer back on the tray because my hands began to shake. I was nervous. Ryan looked nervous too, but he was trying to show a calm face to keep me calm I'm sure. Had I been able to muster rational thought I know I would have run toward the elevator in an attempt to escape.
We didn't wait too long for 'our' grandfather to greet us in the library. A servant followed him in and poured his coffee while he greeted us. He sat. He was offered a pastry. He waved his hand to dismiss the offered item. He dismissed the servant. He wasn't at all unkind as he did these things. He just did them much like one would do anything else at home. It all seemed so natural for him to do these things, but yet it all seemed so surreal to me. Our first session was a very relaxed and positive time. Granddad was pleasant -- even funny as he inquired about our drive and relived some memories of his time at school and as part of the fraternity. After an hour or so of casual chat we were shown to our room so we could get ready for lunch. We had about 45 minutes until lunch would be served. As we closed the door to the room both of us let out a huge sigh -- like some weight had been lifted or some critical test passed.
We were expected to dress up some for lunch so we changed clothes to prepare for round two with Granddad. We had several minutes before we were expected in the dining room so Ryan took me on a short tour of this home. I marveled at the art. As best I could tell all of the paintings and sculptures we encountered were real. These weren't obscure works either but paintings by famous artists. It didn't seem possible they could be locked away in some home for the benefit of so few. Ryan told me that the collection was often on display at different museums around the world. Some how it all seemed to make sense in a very strange way. As we approached the dining room I began to feel more like I was entering the execution chamber. Ryan did his best to calm my nerves, but that wasn't going to happen easily. More than my execution I was worried that I would embarrass Ryan and myself by not using the right fork or spoon or making some other social blunder that would be just another reason the dislike me.
Lunch was pleasant. It is impossible for me to describe that first visit without constantly saying that I was in awe, but I felt like my mouth was gaping open in wonder and amazement the whole time I was there. The food that was presented looked more like something for a magazine picture than for consumption. It was unusual, attractive, delicious and amazing. We had wine with lunch and Granddad announced that we'd have port and coffee in the sitting room. The service was extremely attentive -- items were removed quickly and quietly and the table looked like it was ready for lunch to be served again when our chairs were pulled back for us to stand from the table.
Granddad escorted us to a sitting room that overlooked Central Park. The view was amazing. There is that word again. Coffee was poured for each of us along with glasses of Port. I had heard of this, but never tasted it. Ryan whispered that it was like drinking really sweet wine. We sat -- each in our own chair around a center table -- too low to be a typical dining table and too high to be a traditional coffee table. As we got comfortable I could begin to feel the noose tighten around my neck. Ryan's grandfather wasn't cruel or mean or angry as he began to talk. I guess more than anything he wanted to know that Ryan knew what he was doing. He discussed many of the problems we might encounter throughout the rest of school and our lives -- some of it in the form of lost opportunities or closed doors, some direct discrimination, some slander and name calling, some about invasion of our privacy and news of our relationship fodder for gossip columns and tabloids.
We hadn't really considered much of what he discussed with us. I suppose I didn't realize the impact of our choice in the broader scope of the world 'out there'. We were somewhat isolated and insulated on campus. No one seemed to go out of his or her way to shun us or to be mean or cruel to either one of us. Certainly some people dropped out of our group of friends, but we knew that could happen. My family was from a small town. Most people hadn't heard of the town let alone my family. I had never stopped to consider the impact to all of Ryan's family if this news became public knowledge. Ryan's parents, grandfather, and uncle all seemed so strong and sure of themselves when I'd met them. I couldn't picture anything piercing their armor, but I didn't know all of the family. I had never considered the impact on his younger sister should one of the tabloids have his picture plastered on it's pages. I honestly never considered the impact on my brothers and sisters. While the older ones knew about Ryan and me, I didn't imagine any of them were telling their friends or people in the community. They were also more insulated from all of this because they were near the middle of the country -- many miles from where I was now living. Tabloids did reach the markets back home, and many of the locals were avid fans of those gossip rags. It never occurred to me that our picture could end up on one of them at any time. We weren't famous. We weren't having alien children. Ryan's family was a bit famous and they certainly were rich. It didn't occur to me that that alone would cause us to be a target for their comments or interest.
And then as I knew it would, the conversation turned to money. Ryan and his family had it and I did not. His questions weren't accusations that I was after the money. He was much too subtle for that, but it was obvious that he was concerned and wanted to know if I was after the money. After about the fourth attempt to get to that information, I felt that I couldn't take it any more. I took a deep breath and stood. I walked to the window as I started to talk.
"Sir, I mean no disrespect as I try to answer your questions regarding your grandson's money and his family's money. Though I would like to think I would be different if the case was reversed, I don't know how I would respond. Because I believe your questions are the result of the love you have for your grandson and his well-being I am going to do my best to answer your questions directly and honestly rather than doing what my head tells me I should do which is to just get up and walk out the door. I feel like I am being accused of being after his money. No one has directly come out and asked that question, but the inference is that I wouldn't be with Ryan if there weren't some pay off for me at some point. I greatly resent that insult because nothing could be further from the truth. I don't come from a wealthy family, but I do believe that I was raised well. I have a very strong value system that I believe Ryan and I share. I also have personal integrity and strength of character. While money is a wonderful thing to have I believe that without integrity and strong values, money alone will never offer any comfort or support or happiness. When I first met Ryan I knew he had more money than I did. I expect 99% of the men and women on that campus had more money than I did. I didn't care that he had more. I liked him that first day because of the man he was and still is today. Money didn't make him that way. The love and care of his immediate and extended family made him that way. I never asked if Ryan came from a rich family because it didn't really matter to me. It never occurred to me that he was more than from an upper middle class background. Sure he did some nice things for me -- like this watch he gave me for our first Christmas. I didn't like him because he gave me the watch. In fact I tried to give it back because I knew it wasn't a cheap watch to begin with, but Ryan wouldn't have that. I gave Ryan a scarf that first Christmas. It wasn't the most expensive thing he got for Christmas that year. If anything it was likely the least expensive gift he got. The price of the gift had nothing to do with the feelings behind giving it to him. When we first talked about moving out of the dorm we talked about the idea as a place to find privacy. We needed that privacy because your grandson tends to be rather vocal when he is excited. I'm at school on a scholarship. I knew what I had as room and board allowance. I knew what I had in the bank. I also knew how much more I would need to be able to split the cost of living off campus with Ryan. We could have afforded one of the dumpier apartments not too far from campus. I know we would have been happy there -- as happy as we are in the house we live in. It isn't the house and all the furniture that makes me happy. It is the fact that Ryan is there that makes me happy. Ryan bought a house for us to live in. It was more than I expected or wanted when he told me that I was half owner of the house. He told me he had a legal document drawn up that gives me half of the house if I leave him. I haven't seen that document, and I can't ever imagine needing to see it because I just can't picture any situation that would cause me to want to leave him. Does Ryan spend his money on me? I guess you already know that he does. If I let him grocery shop alone he always brings back things that I wouldn't buy because I tend to watch the cost of things and buy sale and coupon things. Sure we eat thicker steaks when he shops, but we don't eat worse just because I pinch pennies. Yes he has twice tried to get me to pick out a car. I don't want him to buy me a car. When I can afford one I will get one. I am happy to walk most of the places I need to go. If I can't walk there easily, the city has public transportation. Ryan does trick me from time to time. Joining the fraternity was one of those little tricks. I thought we were renting the tux and shoes, but Ryan bought all of those things and a few more while we were at the store. He goes out of his way to hide those bills from me. I still don't know the cost of joining the fraternity. I know there are dues and fees, but I think he made sure they didn't come to me. I suspect he paid for everything for both of us. I'm glad for the opportunities the frat offers us, but I know I would have survived without being a member. The frat is one of those perks I would have passed on because of the cost. Ryan doesn't pass on those things and he shouldn't. I never gave him the idea or impression that he couldn't join without me. I am lucky that he includes me and grateful that he is so kind and generous. Will he spend more money on me? I'm sure that he will from time to time. I have never asked him to spend even one penny of his money on me. I don't believe love is measured by how much money is spent. My inexpensive Christmas gift to Ryan came with as much love has his more expensive one to me. Now I'm not sure why some people find it so hard to believe that I really do love Ryan with all of my heart. To me it seems a no brainer. He is just loveable. I can't imagine my life without him. I hope and pray that we will be together forever. I know we face obstacles in life. Everyone does on some level or another. We may find more because we have decided to be together as a couple. Some of those you mentioned had honestly not occurred to me before. And yes, some of them scare me more than others because they affect the people we love. I do know that with Ryan by my side I feel like I can conquer any challenge and I hope I instill in him with the same feelings of strength and courage. Together we can do great things. I believe that. I do thank God everyday that Ryan is in my life. It never was about the money, and it never will be about the money. It is all about love."
I had been facing his grandfather as I finished my speech. I wasn't in the mood to talk more or to answer any questions. I could feel the tears in my eyes, but I was determined to not let them fall. I hated having to justify my love and defend my character. It seemed so unfair that anyone could even consider that I just wanted the money. I was still telling myself that they were justified in asking, but it didn't make it easier to swallow.
Ryan came over and hugged me. As he did I said,
"Sir, would you mind if I was excused for a short while. I really need to get some air."
Ryan told his granddad he was going with me to take a tour of the park. It was cold outside, but I needed to walk for a bit just to clear my head as well as to let the damn break. I knew the tears would fall as soon as I was out of that building. I felt falsely accused of a crime that I hadn't committed and had no plan to commit. As Ryan and I walked I explained my feelings. He knew what I was going through I think so it made it easier. He also tried to make me laugh to ease the tension. That worked. His smile and constant poking and tickling eased my feelings of inadequacy and helped me put the conversation of the afternoon out of my mind. We stopped at a coffee shop before heading back. I told Ryan that I wanted to rest for a bit before we had dinner and another confrontation with granddad. Ryan laughed and told me he'd make sure there wasn't another confrontation. I lay down on the bed. Ryan went down to talk with his granddad.
Dinner was peaceful -- no fireworks. I guess I was adjusting to life among the rich and famous because dinner was more relaxed. His granddad talked a lot about his college experiences and some of the wild things he did when a young man. He also shared some of Ryan's father's escapades from his college days. In all, the mood was light and happy. Granddad had made arrangement to take us to a Broadway play -- another first for me. When we arrived in the lobby a limo was waiting out front -- one more first. The play was great. It was a comedy, which continued the light feelings we all had during dinner. When we arrived back at the penthouse we had a brandy and went off to bed. While getting ready for bed Ryan said,
"I can't believe you told my granddad that I get loud when I get excited." "Well it is true you know." "It may be true, but you didn't have to tell him that." Ryan snickered. "Get in bed... I want to make you excited. Got lube? "It's in my bag. Never leave home without it!" Ryan laughed. "Ryan you are just a little twisted -- bringing lube to grandpa's house..." I laughed.
Ryan took a running leap from across the room and flopped onto the bed. I turned out the lights and made up my mind to make him more excited than he'd ever been. Ryan was ready, but then he was always ready. I started with kisses all over his face and neck while I pinned his arms to the bed above his head. I nibbled his earlobes and traced with my tongue along his jaw and down his chin over his Adam's apple to the area right below. He knew were I was headed from past experience and was moaning in anticipation. This was so much fun. I traced up to his other earlobe and nibbled there. He was starting to wriggle around on the bed. I was sitting over his waist so decided to rub our penises together as I continued to nibble and whisper in his ear. Ryan would get so excited when I would tell him how much I wanted to ravage his body. I think he liked hearing about it as much as he liked me doing it. He was bucking his hips up towards me now trying to increase the friction on his penis. He wanted to get off, but I wasn't ready to let that happen yet. I slid down his body slightly and put my ankles over his thighs to trap them to the bed. He couldn't buck as much now. I brought his arms down some but still kept them pinned to the bed. I dove down and nipped at his left nipple and the right. I continued to lick and suck and nip at each one in random order causing Ryan to arch his back to get more attention. He was getting louder -- moaning and growling. He was starting to plead for what he really wanted. This was the part I enjoyed. I don't think there is anything in the world more erotic than the one you love pleading to have you inside them. Hearing the need and the urgency and the lust is the ultimate turn on. Excited as I was though, I wasn't ready for that just yet. I changed my position on the bed. I moved to a 69 position pinning Ryan's arms with my shins. I kept my penis just out of reach of his mouth as I pulled his legs behind my arms and began to rim him. Now he was getting vocal. He was begging to be fucked. He was demanding my penis. It was wonderfully exciting that I could bring him to this level.
I was getting close myself and was ready to give in to his demands. I moved between his legs. Ryan pulled his knees toward his chest. I lubed us both and guided my penis easily inside. I'm not sure what caused me to do this, but for some reason it fascinated me watching the head of my penis disappear inside then. I pushed in and pulled all the way out. I pushed in a little more then pulled all the way out. I kept this up each time giving him a little more, and each time pulling all of the way out. Ryan was thrashing around on the bed like a crazed man. He was thrusting his hips to get more of me inside him and trying to grab a hold of me to pull me back in as I started to with draw. Ryan got cruder in his demands and babblings.
"Come on Jake fuck my ass! Oh yea Jake, fuck me! Ram that big dick up my ass! You know you want my ass Jake. Fuck me! Fuck me hard! I'm cumming Jake. Oh gawd... fuck... harder Jake... ahhh... ahhh... ohhh... yesss..... Goddamn! Fuck.. Fuck.. FUCK!!"
I came with him. It was an intense sexual experience. We held each other as the sensations washed over us like a tidal wave at first and then slowing to the point where you can feel your whole face smiling with the ultimate pleasure and happiness of love. Ryan rolled us over so we were in our typical sleeping position. I was asleep before he pulled the covers over us. When I awoke in the morning I felt like I still had that totally satisfied smile on my face. We showered together and went downstairs to find food.
Granddad was in the library with coffee and cups for us. We sat on the sofa and had coffee with him.
"Good morning boys! I trust you slept well last night. I hope the room was comfortable for you both." "It was great granddad. I slept like a baby." Ryan replied. "Well Jake I do see what you mean about my grandson being a bit loud when he is excited. I'm surprised you didn't have to buy up the whole block, Ryan." "Oh geez... you really didn't hear us last night did you? I thought this place was like a tomb. I can't believe you heard us. This is really embarrassing." Ryan grimaced. "Well actually Ryan I didn't hear a peep out of Jake, but you on the other hand..."
Ryan was the darkest shade of red I have ever seen him.
"I think I should excuse myself and find a place to hide. I can't believe you actually heard anything. What exactly did you hear? I mean could you make out words or did you just hear noises? Oh God, I don't even know if I want to know that." Ryan said.
His granddad laughed at him and his obvious feelings of awkwardness at hearing the news that the penthouse wasn't completely sound proof. An older servant came into the library to see if we were ready for breakfast. Ryan evidently knew this man because they exchanged personal greetings. I was introduced to Patrick. He was the caretaker of the house. As he poured each of us another cup of coffee he said to Ryan as he refilled his cup,
"I suspect you must be starved this morning after that intense workout you had last evening. I've made sure to prepare double the usual amount of food to replenish your energy young sir." "Don't even tell me you heard us too." Ryan inquired. "Well, only you sir, but not to worry I don't think any of it was heard in the lobby." "Look... none of this is my fault. Jake does things to me that make me loud. I didn't realize I was even that loud. You really should be blaming Jake for making me talk when all I wanted to do was sleep." "Ryan that is a good one." His granddad laughed. "From what I heard you were giving instructions and making demands of poor Jake here that I'm sure he tried his best to deliver."
Now we both were blushing. Everyone had a good laugh as we followed Patrick to the dining room. A buffet brunch was set out for us. There was indeed twice as much food as any three people could consume, but we were hungry and made a sizeable dent in the buffet. As we were finished eating we were informed that Ryan's parents were coming for an early Sunday dinner. I was kind of hoping to leave for home before too long so granddad didn't have a chance to start questioning my motives again, but dinner with the family put a stop to that. We lazed around with his granddad for a while after brunch then decided to take a walk around the area.
When we got back Ryan's parents and sister and his uncle were all there. We exchanged hugs all around then settled in one of the sitting rooms talking and catching up on news and family events. Ryan's granddad had a playful side I really hadn't seen until now. He so enjoyed making little comments about Ryan and his bedtime antics without really saying anything to give it all away. Some of the comments were...
"Really learned a few things about my grandson last night." "Your son really knows what he wants and isn't afraid to ask for it." "He got quite a set of pipes on him." "He certainly can be demanding when he wants something." "He knows what he wants and goes for it."
Every comment made Ryan blush. I believe everyone else knew there was something behind the comments, but granddad wouldn't say anymore than that. IT was nice having Ryan in the hot seat instead of me, but I suspect I blushed as much as he did at each snide remark.
Nothing else was said about my motives. It seemed that I was being welcomed into the family and acknowledged as Ryan's partner by everyone present. It wasn't an awkward time at all. No one was making a big deal out of it, and that is just how we wanted it to be. What we had and shared was what our parents had and shared. They didn't receive accolades for being a couple and we didn't want any either. We wanted to be treated like everyone else -- not like we were special or different but like we were normal, hardworking guys trying to do our best.
As we drove back to school it seemed like we were leaving a fantasy world behind. The wealth and opulence of his family's world was so far removed from my experiences that it all began to seem like a dream. I felt good to be nearing our home. At least there I knew what to expect, and Ryan could be as loud as he needed to be without the worry of eavesdroppers.
Spring quarter was going way too fast for me. I felt behind most of that quarter. I'm not sure why that was; perhaps the workload was increasing too fast. I know I worried more that quarter and seemed to try harder to keep up with my classes. By the time finals were over I was totally exhausted. I welcomed the chance to have nothing to do for a few days -- to read a book that wasn't required, to have a lazy walk with Ryan, to just play without a time limit. Our first day without classes was spent at home -- just Ryan and me. We clung to each other -- just wanting to be close to each other. We'd missed each other. I felt so relaxed by that evening that I felt like I'd been rejuvenated. I got my Ryan infusion. My energy level was back up and I was just happier in general -- and in love more specifically.
I hadn't had time to hunt for a job so was scrambling for something as summer began. I was lucky to be rehired by the same company I'd worked for the past summer, but I was hired to work in a different department -- personnel. It was something I'd never done before, but I was ready for the challenge. Ryan got a job at a law office working for someone his family knew. Ryan dressed in a suit each day for work. He was so handsome as he went off to work each morning. Ryan knew that I wanted to visit my family in August, and he wanted to go with me. I didn't think much more about the trip. It was a long way off.
The week before we were supposed to leave on our trip to visit my family, Ryan got some mail from a travel agent. I was very curious about what was inside, but it was addressed to Ryan so I would have to wait until he got home. When I told him he had mail from the travel company he didn't seem too anxious to open it. That was unusual for Ryan because he would usually get fairly excited over the mail -- even the bills that came. I just knew something was up, but I had no idea what. In typical fashion Ryan told me a couple of days later that he thought it would be nice to fly instead of drive. I figured the plane tickets were in the envelope so I guessed that decision was final. I told him that was fine with me -- that I was looking forward to my first plane trip. Ryan was pleased with himself and seemed glad that there wasn't any resistant to his plan.
I was really excited and a bit nervous about my first plane trip. The drive to the airport seemed to take forever. The hustle and bustle in the airport was amazing to me. There were so many people coming and going. Ryan checked our bags while I gawked wide-eyed at all the travelers. We made our way towards our plane. They announced our flight was boarding so we made our way to the gate. Our flight took off and soon we were kept busy with beverages then later with food and later beverages again. It seemed that the flight was taking an extremely long time, but without a reference I honestly didn't know what to expect. When the pilot finally announced that we were making our final approach to Los Angeles International Airport. I looked at Ryan in amazement as he sat there with the biggest smile on his face. It took about an hour to get out of the airport and to a taxi. Ryan wasn't telling me where we were headed or why, despite nearly constant badgering. The taxi took us to a Disney hotel. We checked in and headed to our room. Once we were settled and changed into shorts and t-shirts Ryan drug me out to the pool. There by the pool was my family -- all of them. Ryan had made arrangements for all of them to join us here for a week in Los Angeles. He'd worked out all the details with the travel agent back home. He had three-day passes to Disneyland for everyone. Passes to Universal Studios and tons of other places for everyone to visit. We all had lunch at an outside restaurant. The kids -- especially the smaller ones -- were so excited. I wasn't sure if they'd be able to wait until morning when we were headed to Disneyland. Ryan never ceased to amaze me with his thoughtfulness and his generosity. He wasn't doing this for me or for himself. He was doing it for my brothers and sisters whom he barely knew. He was giving something to them that my family couldn't afford and would never really consider. I found out that we had five rooms for everyone. My parents and Ryan and I had our own rooms and the kids shared the rest. Everyone had a bed of their own to sleep in so I think everyone was happy. I remembered arguments over who would have to sleep on the floor when I was younger, and I was certain those same arguments would happen today if ample beds were not available. The room Ryan and I shared had two queen beds and the younger kids all wanted to spend the night with us. We had company a few of the nights we were there, but we also made sure to have time for ourselves as well.
I can't deny that I felt as much a kid as any of the group. It was a fantastic trip -- a trip of a lifetime really. The ability to share that wonder and joy with my family was perhaps the best gift of all. I went on all the rides, had breakfast with Mickey and the gang, thrilled at the atmosphere of the whole experience, and relished the happiness and carefree feelings of being a kid again. It seemed I had grown up so much in the last two years, made so many changes, and had so many new experiences. Ryan and I talked about the experience near the end of the vacation.
We were all spending the late afternoon out by the pool on our second to last day at the resort. I was looking around for Ryan, but I couldn't find him any where. After searching and asking all in the group where he might be, I found him sitting in the room. His eyes were puffy like he had been crying. I knelt in front of him to ask what was wrong. He related a conversation he just had with Anna -- my youngest sister. She was telling him how great the vacation was as she bubbled over with excitement. In the process she confess her undying love for him. What got to him the most was that he was now her second favorite brother next to me. She told him she was going to give him her biggest hug and kiss. It tore at his heartstrings to be so loved and appreciated. Anna was drawn to Ryan and had been since they first met. She could often be found on this vacation holding his hand or sitting in his lap. Oddly enough he seemed to be as attached to her as she was to him. We sat on the floor holding each other as we shared that joy and the tenderness of Ryan's heart. Ryan told me that he really wanted to have kids. At first I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but he soon made it clear that he wanted to have kids with me. He was excitedly telling me what great parents we'd make and how important kids were to a family and how wonderful it was going to be. As much as I liked the idea in theory, I knew we weren't at the point where we could take care of kids yet. My views of family always included children. Ryan had one sister. I had seven brothers and sisters. Family to me really meant a house full of kids, but I certainly wasn't ready for that today.
I let Ryan play through the ideas with as much excitement and happiness as those ideas represented for both of us, but I tried to ground that excitement in the reality of our current school situation. Fortunately he agreed with me. I really didn't need Ryan to go rolling on with this idea. If I allowed that to happen, I knew I'd arrive home from this vacation to a house full of children. We did talk about how much we'd both grown and changed. We pledged that while we would continue to grow and change that we'd always be together no matter what. I'm sure it was all college idealism as we exchanged promises to always be together that day, but we were renewing our commitment to each other as well as sharing our lofty dreams of our future. The excitement we were sharing was quickly turning sexual, but a knock on the door accompanied by Anna's insistence that we come to the pool brought those desires to a rapid end. Ryan looked at me and laughing said,
"Welcome to parenthood!"
We were laughing as we joined the group at the pool. The last days of the vacation were as special as the first. Knowing it would all end soon did bring a tear of sadness that we couldn't keep this going forever, but reality awaited all of us at our homes. We all had school to think about. It seemed to be such a short summer as we were flying back home.
We'd reached the halfway point of our college experience. Our junior year would be one of even more challenges as we both delved into our major fields of study. Ryan had decided that he wanted to be a lawyer while being drawn to Political Science as well. I had a bit of a vision of Ryan as a politician at some point. I can't say that the vision surprised me at all. He was really a consummate politician already as he seemed to draw people to him and his ideas. He had a very natural and easy charisma that everyone found charming and easy to follow wherever he was leading. I had decided that an MBA was the direction I was destined to go. I decided that I was not completely ready to leave English Lit behind so had declared a double major. That really didn't mean a lot to me at the time aside from work for each major, but it was what appealed to me. What had at first seemed like the mid point was now feeling like just another step on our journey through school and life. Without really considering it, we'd both added at least another year to our commitment to school. Life was racing on. There were times when both Ryan and I felt like we were just lucky to be holding on as life raced at breakneck speed. Our time together was by the nature of things less, but never less intense, never less loving, never less caring, never less tender, and certainly never less passionate.
I don't know that I have any advice for anyone out there reading this. I've been asked several times for our 'secret'. I don't think there was ever a secret. Perhaps that is the point. Ryan and I never stopped talking with each other. We shared everything that happened in our individual lives -- both the good and the bad (and there certainly were some low points for each of us along the way). Communication really was most important in our relationship. It wasn't just the time we spent talking and listening to each other. It was the non-verbal communication that conveyed the love and concern we shared. We still went out of our way to show the other through all of those little things we tried to do for the other to show our continued love. We discovered the joy and relaxation that came from long soaks in a hot bathtub filled with bubbles and scented bath oils. Those luxurious soaks were the best way to melt away Ryan's stress. I still find it a wonder as I feel the stress drift from his body as his muscles relax and his body would melt into mine -- all while just sitting in a tub of hot water. For his part Ryan could always distract me from the hectic pace of life by just walking into a room. He never ceased to amaze me, and still does to this day. No matter what my load or what pressures I felt, Ryan could dissolve them away just by holding me. We told each other of our love for the other often -- several times daily, but we also made sure that it wasn't just words but actions that backed up those words. An example of what I am trying to convey would be Ryan's favorite candy -- Gummy Bears. I would buy several of those packages of candy and hide them from him so that I could stash a bag in a pocket of his coat or a compartment of his backpack and later briefcase. I knew when he found those little surprises he would think only of me as he enjoyed the treat. Ryan got us both cell phones so we could stay connected as we spent more time at opposite ends of the campus. Ryan rather quickly discovered that leaving suggestive and descriptive messages about what he wanted to do to me or what he wanted me to do to him got me so excited and horny that I couldn't wait to get home. On more occasions than I can remember, Ryan would have me so worked up by 10:00 in the morning that I wondered how I could survive the rest of the day until we could do what he had so graphically suggested. I could often be seen adjusting my book bag to cover my crotch after listening to one of his many messages.
Reliving those memories has me thinking about Ryan now. I think this is the place to stop for this section because I really do feel the urge to go find him at his office.
Thanks for reading this series. I hope you have enjoyed this offering.
Please share your comments and constructive criticisms with me at: dselliot28@yahoo.com