Well, Colin is heart broken! And from the heavy e-mail I have received (thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!) so are you, probably. I love Colin, because even tho he is not me, there is so much of me in him. And vice-versa! Again, please don't feel shy about corresponding with me. I love to hear what you think! If my responses become short, it is because of the heavy response mail. So far I have been able to keep up.
Love you all! Steve: s4d@hotmail.com
Chapter 13
I don't remember the plane trip home. I think I slept all the way home, and for about three days after that. I was in a deep depression. My mom noticed it, and, thankfully, quietly understood. I wondered if she knew more about me than I realized. More maybe than I understood about myself.
About a week after I returned from the wedding and about a week before I was to head back to Santa Barbara, my dad said he wanted to talk to me. What could he have to say to me. He had hardly ever said much to me all my days growing up.
"Colin, your mom and I have noticed how - quiet - you have been since getting back from New Zealand. We know how sad you are that Aaron won't be rooming with you this year. Didn't you say he will be finishing up his education closer to home, maybe in Australia?"
"Yeah - ?"
"What do you think of the idea of staying here this year, and going to a J.C. and completing some of the more mundane requirements, while living at home?"
"Uh, I don't think -"
"Well, do think about it. Your mom is pretty worried about you. But don't think too long. Registration has already started at the local community colleges." I wondered if mom had talked to dad about what her real concerns were - beyond my general health and wellbeing, that is.
I was doggedly determined to return to Santa Barbara. I was put in a room with three other guys. I threw myself into studying as hard as I could. I dated very little, but when I did, I made sure it was one of the looser girls that I had dated before, and sex was more out of anger and frustration than anything positive. With three other guys in the room, all belonging to the Sig-Phi's, I was not only odd man out, but I had no privacy at all. One night I walked down to the beach very late in the evening. No one was there. Masked by the loud, crashing autumn surf, I first cried and screamed my lungs out for over a half-hour. Drained of most of my energy, I found a secluded cave off the beach, and wanked myself wildly. I didn't have to explain why my voice was so hoarse the next day. I hardly ever spoke to my roomies anyway. They must have thought I was a real weirdo. I was sure of it.
In my art appreciation class, there was a very sweet, and rather pretty girl. I thought she saw me as a lonely recluse or something. She started drawing me out, after class. I started to really like her - a lot! She asked me if I was going to the Homecoming Ball with anybody. I said no, so she said she wasn't either, and maybe it would be fun to go together. I said okay.
This was the most animated I had been since the wedding. I was actually kind of excited. I wish my mom could have seen, so she would not worry so much. The night of the ball, I polished myself to a high sheen. I got my haircut in a close crew, showered long and washed everything twice - just to be sure, and then was liberal with the deodorant, and light on the cologne. I shaved close with a razor, and, since I had never really bought any "church clothes" since high school, I called and asked Mom if I could buy a suit of clothes, including white shirt, tie, and shoes. When she found out why, she was ecstatic. I checked myself out in the mirror as I left, and I was lookin' real' stylin'!
I drove to Carrie's house on Friday night. She lived in Santa Barbara, in a very posh area. Her parents were very nice, and acted impressed with me. Hey, I knew how to turn on the charm when I wanted to. Her older brother, Jake, was there to give his approval as well. Her whole family were very handsome. Jake also was at UCSB, but two years ahead of us. He was 21, but looked to me closer to 25, with a heavy, dark shadow on his face, and a dark, hairy mat showing under his thin white shirt. Carrie asked if we could go with him and his date. I was happy about that, because I was not exactly proud of my little 12 year-old Nissan Sentra. These people obviously had some money. Nevertheless Jake drove us in their parents Cadillac. His BMW Z-3 convertible was way too small!
The dance was really fun for me. Finally I was relaxing a bit. I danced with Carrie most of the time, but since this was not really a "date" date, we both danced with others, as well. Jake kept a close eye on us. I was actually a little uncomfortable the way he was keeping such close track of me - even when I danced with other girls. What was his story, anyway? He wasn't the least bit negative about it, really, but he was just - I could not put my finger on it.
When the dance was over, he drove us back to their home, and I drove back to the dorm in my own car. I was in earlier than the rest of the guys. I really suspected they were at the Sig Phi House, for an after-ball all-nighter. I made good use of the privacy, with a furious and very "healthy" wank. It was about 1:30 AM when I fell exhausted into my bed, without as much as a shower, and dreamed all night long.
First I dreamed that I was at the beach with Carrie. We were wrestling around on a blanket on the sand, when all of a sudden she was not there but was replaced by Aaron. I then noticed we were nude, wrestling for all we were worth, tickling, giggling and caressing each other all over our bodies.
I then saw my mom was watching us, and in the background, was my dad, looking the other way. Then Aaron wasn't there any more and it was Carrie again, and my mom was replaced by Carrie's brother, Jake, watching as we frolicked on the blanket. Then it switched and it was Carrie, watching Jake and me, tickling and feeling each other all over. I woke up and sat straight up, stunned for a moment. I was sweating. I looked at the clock. It was 2:30 AM. I'd only been asleep for an hour.
I lay awake for almost two hours, wondering and worrying about the dream. No one was there except me, and I finally fell back asleep around 4:30 in the morning. I then dreamed mostly about Aaron, with his face becoming interchangeable with Jake's. We were in Aaron's basement. We were cuddling and caressing in his bed there, and every time I would try to kiss Aaron, somehow, even in the dark, I knew it was Jake. I woke up again at 5:30, pretty well shaken, and could not get back to sleep. Since I was by myself, I took advantage and wanked again. I fell asleep for a few minutes just after that, and woke up to all three guys crashing into the room, loudly talking, and stumbling around the room. "Oh, sorry, man! We didn't know you would be here - hahahahahahahaha"
"That's okay, I was just getting up." I headed for the shower, leaving my bed unmade. When I came out of the bathroom, they were all passed out, I assume for the day. One sprawled across my bed, and the sheet was still pulled down. I didn't care. I just had to get out of there. I hoped no one hurled on my bed - or worse. I pulled on some sweats and tennies and headed for the beach.
Chapter 14
When I got to the beach, it was deserted. Well, it was not much past 6:30 in the morning. I saw someone in the distance, on the pier. I walked the other direction. I didn't know what to think about first. I walked for a long time up the beach. I had just been with Carrie, so it made some sense for her to be in my dream. And I was still hurting over the loss of - the companionship of - of Aaron.
Why was Mom standing there watching us? Why was Dad so obviously looking away? In retrospect, I think that my mom had some inkling of my dilemma. And probably Dad did too, but he wanted to deny it. Men tend to blame themselves when their sons are not all they hoped - or in my case maybe something they hoped not!
And why was Carrie's brother, Jake, in my dream. And in such a way! I was so confused! I really did not want to think about these things, but I could not stop. I think this was the first time I actually thought about "it" in actual - words. It was so hard. Why was I so - fascinated - with - guys! Attrac - attracted to them!
I started remembering the locker room and the showers, starting in jr. high and going through high school. 6 years of getting naked with other guys. I was always so - interested - fascinated - with looking at other guys in the buff. Aren't ALL guys like that? Don't ALL guys compare their equipment? But was it more than just comparing with me? My package was not large or small. It was just average, I think. 2 - 4" long when soft, depending how cold it was, and I would guess 5 1/2" hard. I always meant to measure it, but never got around to it. Is that normal? To want to measure my pecker? This much I know: There were NO guys with 7 and 8" penises as you read about in all the "Nifty" stories. That is so much bullshit. Now that I have been to college, and seen plenty more mature guys, I still have yet to see one guy over 5" soft. And that was after a long hot exercise time.
Was I - was I - It must have taken me 5 long minutes to even consciously "think" the word, "gay" to myself. Even then I think I remember looking around as if to see if anyone saw me thinking it. I was not saying I was. But I was asking the question. It made me crazy! It made me sick!
I turned around and started running blindly back down the beach toward the campus. I was trying not to think of anything but how fast I could run in the sand. I think I was trying to get away from "it"!
"Hey, Colin, is it?"
"Huh?" I said, as I stumbled and almost fell. I turned around and there stood Jake, Carries brother. He was panting like he had been running, too.
"Weird!" he said. "Weird I should run into you down here this early on a Saturday morning". My thoughts exactly!
"Hi, uh .. Jake?"
"Yeah. What's up?"
"Why is it so weird?"
"I often come down here to run and think. Its funny I have never seen you before."
"Well, you didn't exactly know me before." I said
"I would have remembered you! And besides that, I was just dreaming about you last night."
Damn! I felt as if he were with me the last half-hour, listening to my thoughts. I was so sure my face showed panic. I know it was red. But I was just running pretty fast, so that would be normal.
"You were dreaming about me?!!" I said it far too incredulously.
Almost defensively he retorted, "Well, actually you and others. I don't know how you found your way into my dream."
"What was it about?"
"I can't really remember. I would not have remembered it at all if I had not seen you. I would appreciate it if you would stay out of my dreams!" He said jokingly.
"Well, as if that were not bad enough, you were in my dream too!"
GOD! Why did I have to say that?
"NA-ANH?" he said, shaking his head. "What do you remember about yours?"
SHIT! What could I tell him now? I was a terrible liar! The truth - just not the whole truth. "I don't remember , exactly, but we were down here on the beach. You, me, my parents, your sister, and my best friend, Aaron, who just got married."
"You have a best friend old enough to get married?"
"NO! He's WAY too young! 20!" I said with too much passion.
"That's just too strange!" he said. "20, and already married? Pretty scary!"
"Maybe not as strange as you and I dreaming of each other!" I replied.
He then stepped back and looked me up and down. "Lookin' good!" he said.
"Huh?"
"Your form. You have good sprinter form."
"Oh. Thanks. Actually I'm pretty out of shape"
"Ever think of joining the track team?"
"Not really".
"Maybe you should. They need runners. Sprinters. And the relay team is looking for a few, too. I'm the T.A. for the track team."
"HMmmm, let's see, T.A. means teacher's ass-wipe, right?"
"Well, I'm sure some think so, but I don't care. I'm not in it for popularity. I am on the team, too, and I like the exercise and the competition. So whaddaya think?"
"Hunh?"
"About coming out and running with us?"
"I don't know. I'll think about it"
"Well think fast. This Tuesday is the last day to sign up. Do you have any classes after 3:30?"
"No, but I don't want anything to mess up my study time - I'll think about it".
"Good. Just be there before 4:00 on Monday or Tuesday, if you decide you want to.
"I'll think about it." I just wanted to get away, now. "I gotta go"
"What's so damned pressing at 7:30 on Saturday morning? "
Busted!
"I - uh - I'm famished! I need to get back and get some nourishment in me."
"Then it's settled! Here's my car. Hop in. Etta will just be up and fixing breakfast."
"Etta?"
He seemed a little embarrassed or apologetic as he said, "That's our housekeeper."
"I don't know. I can't go like this. I need to change into something more - appropriate."
"Fuck that! Look at me!" True, his sweats were more grimy and worn than mine.
"But I can't go into your house all sweaty and -"
"Why not? I am! Come on, hop in!" and he did just that. The top was down on his Z-3 and he just hopped over the door and into the seat like a pro. I followed suit. It was a little cold for the top to be down, this early, but it felt kinda good, with the wind blowing over the top of my crew cut, and through my sweats.
We pulled up to the rear of their home, and went in the kitchen door. His mom was in the kitchen. "Where's Etta?" He said.
"Can't your mom fix breakfast sometimes? Oh, hi - Colin, is it? This is kind of - different. Are you dating my daughter or my son? "
What did she just say?!!
"Hi, Mrs. - er - I don't think I have ever heard you last name." I was embarrassed.
"That's okay. It's kind of hard to pronounce anyway, Colin, AND to remember: Smith. You boys go up and get cleaned up while I finish these crepes."
"MOM!"
"No arguments. No grimy, sweaty men are going to grace my table!"
"He didn't bring anything else to wear, mom!"
"I'm sure you can find something for him. As a matter of fact, you boys look like you are exactly the same size. Now get your smelly selves out of my kitchen!"
"Hrmph! Mother knows best! Come on Colin, let's go washee washee!"
Well, I surely knew what it felt like to be humiliated by your mom!
He led me up a spiral staircase and then down a long, wide hall to his bedroom. For some reason I was thankful we did not meet Carrie in the hallway. His door was the only one on the right side of the hall. We went into his room and he closed and locked the door behind us. I guess I looked a little perplexed:
"Sometimes Carrie just barges in"
"Oh! Thanks!"
He quickly shed his sweats and shoes and headed in to the shower. His bedroom was nearly as big as my house back home, if you include the bath/shower area. The bath area was around the corner from the bedroom, with no partition. I watched as he was walking away. He was hairy! He had hair on his shoulders, like it had been pasted there for some high school play. It was long and patchy all over his back. And his butt was covered with a fine black fur. He disappeared around the corner. I heard him run the water to get it warm, and then his head popped around the corner, "Hey, are you comin'?"
"That's okay, I'll wait until your done." I yelled back.
"Come on in! Were both guys here!" He insisted.
"Yeah, we're both guys! That's just the problem. " I protested.
"God, what are you going to do when you get to the showers down in the gym? Get your butt in here!"
There was no saying no to this guy, was there? I stripped down and headed for the shower. He had both a bath and a shower. The shower was large, and was arranged like a small gymnasium shower, with 3 shower stations, one on each wall. I hesitated a moment. Should I take the one closest to him, or the one opposite, where we would be looking at each other? I chose the further, opposite one.
He looked me up and down. "Lookin' good!" He said it again, just as he had on the beach!
"Hunh?" I could feel my cheeks warming up.
"You look very good for someone who is `pretty out of shape'! Isn't that how you put it?"
"OH! Yeah I guess. I think it is in the genes."
"Well whatever it is, you got it! And speaking of what's in your jeans, that ain't too bad either!"
Now I was completely at a loss, and my cheeks had to be glowing red! And what was worse, I felt my dick growing some too. I thought that nervousness prevented that! Well, maybe it did! It occurred to me that the best defense was sometimes a good offense. "Well, yours looks like it went through Desert Storm!" I said without considering the outcome. He was stopped completely!
His pecker did look pretty badly scarred, and it bent the wrong way! He just stood there with a horrified look on his face. I didn't know what to say next. I wanted to find someplace to hide.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I really got you, didn't I?!!" He roared. "It got hurt in a biking accident. But I assure you everything works just fine. Actually it now can tickle some places most can't find!"
Damn this guy had a way of making me blush!
He threw me a clean towel, and when we were dry, he gave me some pretty nice khakis, a polo shirt, and a pair of Top-Sider shoes, and some red boxers with black polka dots. I noticed his were white, and I guess he noticed me noticing. "Hey! Beggars can't be choosers!"
"When can I get these back to you?"
"Whenever. I won't need them very soon."
"I'll give them back on Monday at practice"
"So you decided to give it a try?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Well, we won't be actually forming the teams until mid-October, so you still have some time to consider if you want to stay."
As we exited his room, Carrie was just coming out of the door opposite his. She was fully dressed, but her hair looked a little disheveled. "Colin?!! What are you doing here?!!!" She quickly did a U-turn and went back into her room and slammed the door!
When we got down to the kitchen, Mrs. Smith said, "Did you notice if Carrie was stirring up there?"
"Actually," Jake said, "Like the groundhog, I think she went back into her hole for six weeks."
"Very funny! Is that a yes or a no?"
"She saw Colin and thought better of scaring him at breakfast. She tore back into her room to get more presentable, would be my guess!"
"Okay, we can wait a few minutes." Mrs. Smith said.
"That's okay, mom we don't need to."
"You are always such a loving, considerate brother, Jacob Lynn Smith III! You boys go wait in the family room until she comes down. Your father will be here as soon as I call him. He led me into the next room, the family room. Jake's dad was sitting on an easy chair reading a newspaper. There was a pool table, a couch and a love seat also in the room. I sat in the middle of the love seat, expecting Jake to head for the couch. He squeezed in next to me. I moved over.
"Hi, boys! OH! Colin! I surely didn't expect to see you again so soon."
"Hi, Mr. Smith. Very nice to see you again."
Then with a very serious look, "Tell me, son, are you dating my son or my daughter?"
"Okay, this is getting - that's exactly what Mrs. Smith said. Is there something I should know here?"
"Well, yes. Do you want to tell him or should I, Jake?" Jake looked as embarrassed as I did.
"Well the thing is - er, I mean," Mr. Smith said, "what I mean to say is - I heard what Linda said before you guys went up stairs!" He was all smiles and he winked at us. "Had you goin', eh, Colin?"
"I'm afraid your whole family seems to know how to "get me going"!"
"Sorry, we do have a way of joking around a lot!"
From the Kitchen: "Breakfast is served!"
We all got up and went into the kitchen. Carrie had done her hair and put makeup on in that short time we talked. She looked great!
"So, tell me, Colin, are you dating me or my brother?"
"Aw, come on! You too?"
"I couldn't resist! What did you think of the Jake Smith memorial locker room?"
"Pretty impressive, if you like showering with other guys!" I said, deciding to give them back a little of their own.
"Who says it's only guys who go in there with me? It could just as well be a female! Maybe a party!" That remark got looks from both the Smith parents. I guess I just was not going to get the best of any of these Smiths!
We ate our fill of crepe's and wild blueberries, and scrambled eggs, after which Jake drove me back to the dorm.
Chapter 15
I showed up for track on Monday afternoon. I met all the guys, and was really pleased. They all seemed so accepting. They were not like the football jerks - er - jocks, all blustery and - well, what can I say - ass holes! One of my roommates, Kenny, was there. I guess I knew he was into track, I just was kinda surprised to see him. He was also surprised to see me. He was actually very nice to me, and was ever after, even in our room. I seemed to be a hit with the team. Funny thing was, Kenny never was all that friendly before. And not only that, my other roommates started treating me nicer.
Wednesday was my art appreciation class. After class, as usual, Carrie walked out with me. As soon as we got out of earshot of others, I told her how much I appreciated her asking me to the dance.
"When did you and my brother hook up?" She said, sweetly.
"Hook up? Is this more of the Smith humor?"
"You don't need to play coy with me, Colin. You're gay, aren't you?"
"Whu - aAT???!!!" I almost fell over backwards! I'm not -"
"Colin, I could see the way Jake was eyeing you, and I could also see the way you were looking at him!"
I was all at once panicky! I looked all around to see if anyone was within hearing distance. "Look, Carrie, I am not - er -"
"Oh, Colin," she said, again so sweetly, "You SOOO are gay! Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"Carrie, can we go somewhere else and talk?"
"How about your room?"
"No way, the other guys might be there!"
"It's okay," she said, nonchalantly, "they are all gay too!"
"Get outa here! They are all Sig Phi!"
"Duh!! Sig Phi is a gay frat!"
Omigod! How could I have been so blind! So stupid!
"I have to admit, you got into a room with a bunch who are definitely not fems, like -"
""Like I am?? Is that what you were going to say? God, I am so - I don't know - disillusioned, or something!"
"Colin, I wasn't going to say, like you are! I was going to say like a lot of the others are. I thought maybe you were gay, though. That's why I brought you home to meet my Jake."
"This is getting weirder by the moment!"
"Not so weird. Jake recently had a very difficult break-up. He has been so devastated since the beginning of summer. I was hoping you two might be - friends. And I'll have to say, he seemed pretty happy Saturday morning."
"Wow! Well I have to tell you, I am not ready to admit I am - you know - but I have been thinking about it somewhat."
"Why were you so quiet - so - well, you seemed sad when we started our class together?"
"My best friend just got married. He was my roommate last year. I was so attached to him, and then he met a girl over the summer and got married. I was really missing him."
"Omigosh! That is so close to Jake's experience. He went with this guy for 2 years. Mik was from the Netherlands. Then just two and a half months ago, he wrote to say he was not coming back to California. He met and married another guy in the Netherlands. Well, do I have to tell you how this affected Jake?"
I was looking at the ground. "No. I guess I know."
"Listen, I'm not going to tell Jake about our conversation. It sounds like you have a lot to think about. If you want to share our talk with him, it's okay"
"Thanks, Carrie. Tell me this: does Jake know - er, have some idea - about me?"
"Well we haven't talked about it, if he does. But I can't imagine he hasn't thought about it."
"I guess I better go on to track practice. Thanks a lot - I think! Bye!"
"Bye, Colin. Good luck - and I love you!"
Chapter 16
"Jake! Can I talk with you?" It was Friday afternoon, and practice had just finished.
"Of course, Colin. You're doing fantastic, in your running, by the way. I'm so impressed the way you have fit in with the guys."
"Thanks. Can we maybe go running, or walking or something on the beach, tomorrow morning?"
"I'd love that, dude! Hey, do you have anything to do tonight? Maybe we can hang out, and you can stay at our house tonight. That way we can get a really early start in the morning."
"Uh - sure. Just let me go back and straighten a few things out, and then I will drive over."
"Why don't I come back to your dorm with you, and then I'll take you with me?"
I really wanted a few minutes space first, and also for some reason, I did NOT want Jake coming into my dorm room, with all the rest of "the boys" yet. "Um - I need some time to think a little bit, k?"
"Okay! I'll tell Mom to expect one more for dinner - 6:30 okay?"
"Perfect! Tell her I will be a hungry boy!"
"She'll like that! She loves hungry boys!" Now that I knew he was gay, it seemed like he was looking at me hungrily.
Jake drove away as if he were on a cloud. I would swear he licked his lips and almost clicked his heels as he jumped into his Z3! I hope what I had to tell him did not disappoint him too much.
I arrived at 6:30 sharp. I was greeted at the door by Etta. Etta was from Jamaica, and she was one of those dark, very almost mysterious looking women who spoke almost like a - ghost or something. You could not tell what her dominant race was, only that she had probably been very beautiful one day on the distant past. She showed me into the Family room. As she left I thought I heard her say, "Tink You gonna make Jakey very happy boy." I just shook my head.
I sat on the love seat. Carrie was the first to come in. She came over and sat as close as she could, next to me on the love seat. She whispered to me, "Have you said anything to Jake yet?"
"No, have you?"
"I told you I wouldn't.
"Etta seemed to think she knew something."
"Etta ALWAYS seems to know something! It's like she has a special gift, or something."
Mr. Smith came in next. "Colin! Linda said you would be here. How nice to see you. Every time I see you though, you have your head together with the other of my children!"
"You have a way of making guests really off kilter, Mr. Smith!"
"Touché!"
"What's going on?" Jake was here "What's this," he said looking at how close Carrie and I were sitting, "are you trying to cut in on my action, Sis? I invited him here!" With that, he wiggled his way in between us on the love seat.
By now the whole family was here and everyone was laughing - everyone except me, that is. Carrie noticed. She got up, and said, "I think we have tortured this poor man long enough. Can we eat yet?"
Well, all the ribbing continued at dinner. Etta obviously was a fixture there, because she joined in on the fun. "I gonna camp upstairs between rooms, so smartee girl does not find herself in Jakey's room this night!" They al laughed. I just got redder.
After dinner we went into the theater, (yeah! They had a theater in their home! It was on the first floor, under Jake's room. We watched a movie that was what I would call a chick-flick. It was funny, but I always used to hate going to those movies. I think what I hated was that I liked them, and could not admit it! When the movie was over, we went upstairs, and as Carrie disappeared into her room, she gave me a wink. I was worried. I did not want to disappoint this family, but I also would not be rushed.
We got ready for bed. I took special notice that Jake was wearing the red with black polka dot skivvies that he loaned me. I had to wonder if there was a significance.
The room was so big that the beds - there were two full sized double beds - were miles apart. When we were in bed and the light was out, I started. "Jake?" I whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I wanted to run with you tomorrow so we could talk."
"Talk?"
"Yes. Hey, I feel - weird yelling across the room in a stage whisper. Can we get the beds closer together?"
"Either that or I can just come over there and lie on your bed."
After too long a pause, I replied, "Okay, but," I stammered, "okay. Bring your blanket so you won't get too cold." I didn't know any other way to let him know he was NOT going to climb in with me.
"Okay." Easy as that.
He came over, I moved over, and he climbed onto my bed. It felt too familiar to be this close to another guy in the dark, on a bed.
Then he said, "Okay, talk!"
"This is so hard for me. I -"
"Let me break the ice a little, K? I'm gay."
"I knew that. Carrie told me. She said you wouldn't mind. I am really struggling with this thing myself. I have heard about how some guys have struggled with coming to terms with their - feelings - for other guys. I am just so confused right now. I don't know if I'm - uh -"
"You mean if you are gay or not?"
"Yeah." It was so easy for him to say it!
"I really don't think anyone is completely one way or the other, Colin. I really don't. I think we are all born with the capability to go either way, and for some reason some are more disposed to one way or another. Then taking into account external things like family, peer pressure, significant childhood events, we come to where we are today."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Can I tell you about what happened to me this past summer?"
"Sure. I have to tell you that Carrie told me a little."
"That's okay, I'll get even with her. I was with this guy from the Netherlands, Mik. We were together for two years. I loved him - love him - so much it still hurts to think of him. We were thinking of actually going to live in the Netherlands, where we could be married and not so hassled as we would be here. He was going to go home in June, make some arrangements for me to come over, and then we were going to tie the knot in September. He called me in the middle of July to tell me he got back together with his ex, and they had just gotten married."
He was crying pretty openly by now, and so was I. I was thinking about Aaron, and my own experience. I told him that I had a similar experience, but that Aaron actually had me be his best man. Well along with his tears, I felt for once justified and gave myself permission to really cry. He was holding me by this time, and I, him.
"Jake, I'm just not sure I'm ready for another relationship, male OR female.
I need more time."
"I know dude, I know! Can we just hang out for awhile, while we get over our own heartbreaks?"
"I am so relieved, Jake!" With that I relaxed in his arms. He pulled me closer and kissed my neck. He then went back to his own bed.
What a prince!
Note: Are you frustrated? Do you crave some sex? Think how Colin must feel!!
Please write: s4d@hotmail.com