Cole's Redemption By James
Disclaimer
This is a story which deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between teenaged males. This story will also deal at times with disturbing content such as sexual assault, hate speech, abuse, violence against various minorities and other problematic situations. If you're not of the legal age to read this type of story, or should this kind of material offend you then please find something else to read.
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Cole's Redemption
Chapter Six
"I often ask myself, what is hell, and I answer thus; the suffering of no longer being able to love."
Fyodor Dostoyevsky The Brothers Karamazov
Kevin
The next day was a clear and sunny Monday, and after school Chance and I got together like we had talked about the day before. We ate at a place that had good sea food, and then we went back to my house. While there, we watched a couple of shows, then he lay sprawled out on my bed with his arms and legs out to either side. He looked like the picture of relaxation and peacefulness.
"You look comfortable," I said as I watched him while sending off a text to Cole.
"I am," he said. "You'd be amazed at what wonders taking fifty loads on a Saturday night and nine blow jobs Sunday afternoon will do for you," he said laughing. "I had fifty body builders over on Saturday, then I had nine power lifters over Yesterday afternoon. It was totally hot."
"Oh, that's right," I said laughing. "You have pure testosterone running through your veins instead of blood. Remind me, how high of a sex drive did your doctor say you have?"
"He didn't, but I know it's one million percent high," Chance said laughing again. "Oh, and you know on those commercials about the erection pills where they say that if you have an erection that lasts for more than four hours, that you should see your doctor or go to the emergency room?"
"Oh god," I said pretending to be annoyed. "What about it, and yeah I know about that."
"They don't need to worry," Chance said laughing harder now. "If I ever had that problem, I'd just find another guy to get fucked by."
"Of course you would," I said amazed at how exhibitionist he could be, or at least how much he wanted to be seen that way. "No offence, but when you start actually getting sexually active with guys, are you wanting it to be that unrestrained?"
"Well I do like to get a reaction out of you," he answered. "To answer your question though, I'm thinking more and more lately that I'd like to just do something along the lines of Non-Monogamous Relationships. I mean, guys who want to have just one partner are cool, but since a lot of that comes out of male-dominated and patriarchal Bullshit systems of control, I'm not for all that."
"I can understand that," I said.
I never had really thought of it like that, but what he said made sense, and I did know that if he started doing stuff with guys, he would be careful. Chances family had been supportive when he came out, as well as being open with him when it came to talking with him about sex, and with them being sex-positive, he didn't have any negative attitudes about sexuality, and with him being able to turn to them for getting what he needed whether it be condoms or protective things like that to have if he needed them, I knew he would be fine. I was glad to see that, and happy that he didn't have to live in the situation where he had hardly anyone to turn to where all that was concerned.
"I have had my eye on two guys who just started at our school a few days ago," Chance went on. "I don't know if they're LGBT, but I can at least hope."
"Yeah, I hope it works out for you," I said.
"Thanks, so do I," he replied. "So what about your love life?"
"What about it?" I asked feeling my face turn red.
"Oh, so there is someone?" Chance said smiling. "Come on, tell me all about him."
"I don't even know if he's LGBT in the first place," I responded. "I just met him Friday night."
I was talking about Cole of course, and I did tell Chance a little about him, but not how I was feeling about him, at least not until now it appeared.
"Oh, you're talking about Cole?" Chance asked coming over and sitting down beside me on another chair I kept for anyone to sit in when they would sit at the desk with me.
"Yeah, and I would appreciate you keeping it totally between you and I," I said.
"Don't worry," he said, and at this point he was back to being the serious friend. "I'll keep it between you and I."
"Thanks," I said. "Yeah, it's Cole. I've never felt like this about anyone like I feel about him."
I attempted to explain what I was feeling, and after I stopped talking, Chance nodded his head. Clearly he understood.
"It sounds like you're experiencing being in love for the first time," he said putting a hand on my shoulder. "Congratulations Kevin."
"Thanks," I said smiling. "I just hope it works out."
"So do I," he replied. "You definitely have my support."
"Thanks," I said. "That means a lot, and you totally have my support as well."
"Thanks," he said as we hugged.
"You're welcome," I answered.
We talked a little more, then he returned home for the evening, and I went to eat dinner with my family before relaxing for the rest of the evening before getting to bed for the night.
00000
Cole
The week past, and it seemed like Saturday would never get here, but finally it did, and it was now time for Kevin and I to get together! I was totally looking forward to it, and as I sat in the car as Daniel drove me to Kevin's house, we talked a bit, and by that point an outline of what we would be doing that day had taken shape.
Kevin and I would meet at his house around 11:00 A.M. that morning, and we would have lunch, and then would be hanging out for a while, and unless anything changed, I would most likely be eating dinner with him and his family also. I couldn't wait to experience our time together that day, and as I saw the house come in to view, my excitement shot up several more points!
After I got out of the car, Daniel joined me, and we walked up to the house, stepped up to the door then I knocked. When the door opened, Kevin was standing there, and he had on a T-shirt that looked like it was sporting the label of some Metal Band, and he also had on a pair of dark-blue shorts along with black shoes. He had recently got his hair cut, and it was trimmed so that it was shorter in front, but still long enough so that it had a shaggy appearance without being in his eyes, and the back and sides from what I could see were trimmed a little shorter as well. He was also clean-shaven as well like the last time I saw him. I could have staired at him all day, and I noticed how my heart beat harder and faster as I gazed upon his physical appearance!
I then introduced Kevin to Daniel, and though they said hi to each other when we were on video chat throughout the week, I was glad to see them meet in person finally!
"It's nice to meet you Kevin!" Daniel said as they shook hands.
"Thanks, and it's really nice to meet you as well Daniel!" Kevin replied. "Thanks for letting Cole come over to visit me today! That was really nice of you!"
"You're welcome," Daniel answered. "I was happy to help with getting him over here, and I can see that the two of you are really getting along really well, and that's really wonderful!"
"I'm really happy about that too!" Kevin responded. "I'm sure we'll have a really nice day today, and I hope you enjoy whatever it is you're going to be doing today while Cole's here with me."
"Thanks," Daniel answered. "I'm sure I'll find something to do today."
At that point, Daniel and I said goodbye to one another, and then he said bye to Kevin. Once he got in his car, he pulled out of the driveway, and now it was just Kevin and I. I knew from what Kevin had already told me the night before when we spoke, that his parents were out doing some shopping, and would be home a little after 12:00 P.M. that day, and I couldn't wait to meet them in person for the first time!
"Are you ready for me to show you around the house?" Kevin asked as he motioned for me to follow him.
"That sounds good!" I replied as I walked in to the entrance way, and Kevin closed the door.
We were standing in a small room where coats, shoes and a couple of chairs sat, and then straight ahead was the kitchen. On the left side once in the kitchen and if one turned to the left, there was the doorway which lead in to a large living room in which two couches, a recliner and a coffee table sat. There were also two in tables on either side of each couch, as well as one in table sitting next to the recliner.
If one kept going straight ahead when having walked in to the kitchen, there was a hallway that had doorways on either side. The first door at the beginning of the hall, and on the right was Kevin's dad's office, then the door a couple of steps down from there still on the right was Kevin's room. Across the hall from Kevin's room was the first restroom, then at the end of the hall on the left was Kevin's parents' room.
If one stayed in the kitchen, and looked to the right, there was a door that lead to a large deck which looked out to a vast expanse of woods that seemed to go on for miles. Then to the left of the doorway leading in to the hallway was a door, and Kevin explained that it lead down to the basement, and I tried to keep any worry or fear in check, but he paused for a minute as if sensing my inner feelings.
"Don't worry," Kevin said stepping close to me, and placing a hand on my shoulder. "I won't make you go down there."
"I'm alright," I said looking at him, and putting a hand on his shoulder. "No need to worry, but thanks for thinking of me."
"You're welcome," he answered.
We got Cokes from the fridge which was located to the right if one turned to the right once entering the kitchen and walking a few steps. This put the stove, sink and microwave on the right while the fridge was straight ahead at this point, and the kitchen table was in the corner of the kitchen close to where the basement door was, but a little closer to where the doorway of the living room was.
Once I closed the fridge door, I followed Kevin around as he showed me the house with the exception of the basement, then we went back to his room, and I enjoyed taking in the surroundings!
When standing in the doorway of Kevin's room, the bed was straight ahead in the corner of the room with the head of it pushed up against the wall, so its side was facing you if you were facing straight ahead. To the right against the wall was situated a computer desk, and to the left of that was a dresser and then to the right of the desk was a door that stood open, and I saw that within was a bathroom with a toilet, sink and shower.
If one was sitting on the edge of the bed, to the right of the door, there was a closet, and then next to the bed was a bedside table on which sat a clock, lamp and a couple of books. It was a really nice room, and it looked really comfortable!
"Did you want to watch or listen to anything?" Kevin asked as he held out his hand.
I waited for a moment before realizing that he wanted me to take his hand. I did so, and he lead me over to the bed, and patted it. I took the hint and sat down, and he stood there watching me.
"I'm good with putting on some music," I replied.
"Cool," he replied. "Is there anything in particular you want to listen to?"
"I'm cool with whatever you want to put on," I answered.
"Sounds good!" he responded.
He started up his music player, and he let me know that he had put on a random playlist, and I told him that that sounded good. He then came over and sat down beside me on my left, and I sat there watching as he made himself comfortable.
We talked about how the rest of our week went, and then after we finished our conversation, I heard the door to the house open, and then there was a sound of plastic bags moving around. I stood up when Kevin did, and we went out, and I saw two people at the kitchen counter sitting things down. Kevin then introduced them as his parents.
"It's really nice to meet you Cole," Kevin's mom said shaking my hand.
"Absolutely," his dad agreed. "Kevin has talked a lot about you, and it's finally good to meet you!"
They thanked me for coming over, and further said how glad they were to have me over to their house.
"I'm glad I could make it as well!" I replied. "It's also nice to meet you both!"
We helped put groceries away, and since none of us were hungry yet, we all sat out on the back deck and talked for a bit, and I got to know Kevin's parents a little more. I then explained about my living situation, at least an abbreviated version of it for now anyway.
"I'm glad Daniel took you in," Kevin's dad said once I finished talking.
"He sounds like he's really nice," Kevin's mom added. "It also sounds like Justin thinks of you as an older brother."
"Yeah, and I imagine you've been helping to take good care of him," Kevin's dad went on.
"Yeah, Daniel has been really good to me," I answered. "You're also right about when it comes to Justin, I have been doing all I can to help out with him, and I have come to think of him as a younger brother. I should say that it's more like he's the brother I never had, and I'm really happy that he's in my life!"
"We're really happy for you as well," they both agreed.
Kevin and I then returned to his room, and as we sat down on the edge of the bed with his music player going in the background, I looked around the room noticing things that I had missed the first time around.
I saw that there were a couple of posters on the wall over the head of his bed. One was of Night Wish, and the one to the left of it was one of the group Therion. Then on the wall over the side of the bed up against it was a picture of a forest thick with trees, and to the left of that was another picture which showed a front of a building that looked like it had been damaged, or in some sort of state of disrepair.
"I know what the other pictures are," I began. "But what does that picture to the left of the nature photo mean to you?"
Kevin pointed to the bottom of it, and I had to look for another moment before I noticed what seemed to be the title. It read: "Riots at Stonewall¡ª1969."
"Wow," I exclaimed. "I'm guessing that that's about what happened at the Stonewall Bar back in 1969 when the police raided it?"
"That's correct," Kevin answered looking at the photo.
"I read some about it in one of my classes, then for a couple of homework assignments," I went on. "I had seen a couple of pictures of it, but not one this detailed."
"I think lots of other people should see it as well," Kevin answered, and as his hands signed, I noticed there was a less smooth quality to the movements, and this was what I would soon come to recognize as what happened when he was angry, and when he wanted to express that anger. His eyes were angry as well now, and I watched as he continued talking. "A lot of people beaten up, harassed and bullied, and for what! Just because a few piece of shit mobsters wanted money like usual, and a few punk-ass police wanted to help with forcing their Breeder Bullshit ideologies down the throats of every Mother Fucking person's throat who didn't agree with them!"
"It really is horrible how they treated people like that back then," I said. "Things have gotten a little better today, but I still think they have a long way to go. I mean, there are some of the Transgender people who have been killed in recent years, and other various acts of hate done against them, as well as other LGBT kids who have either attempted suicide, or have died by it, because of either not having supportive families, kids bullying them or both. They can only take so much."
"Yeah, exactly," Kevin answered.
"I didn't expect you to use the term "Breeder" though," I said. "I had heard that most people don't like the term, and considered it as bad as calling an LGBT Person various anti-LGBT Epithets."
"Pretty easy for the upper-class Liberal types who are LGBT and Non-LGBT alike to draw equivalents," Kevin went on acidly. "That's your white-privileged Do-Gooder Fucks who don't have disabilities, black skin or other visible issues to worry about, so of course they can be holier than thou about all that shit. Fuck all that High Road Bullshit! Give someone a chance to correct their Bullshit, but you fuck up again, then you want to throw shit, I'll fucking throw it right back. Everyone is so fucking scared about standing up for either themselves or for others these days. The Conservatives want to take us all back to an All-White 1950's Society, then the Do-Good Liberal Fucks some of who are in that Bullshit New Age thing just want all who've been wronged to smile, hug their tormenters and just pet cats all day!"
I started laughing, and I hadn't expected to have the uncontrollable laughter I was experiencing at that moment. Kevin's last couple of words really took me by surprise, and I had an image in my mind of people just sitting around with the most calm harp music playing on a radio while cats walked back and forth while said people petted them.
"Sorry," I said as my laughter slowed, then stopped. I explained what had come in to my mind, and Kevin laughed as well, and that seemed to break some of the anger and tension that had come over him a moment ago. "I mean, they could pet the cats, at least until a few feral cats got mixed in, the radio switched to Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne and all hell broke loose with an epic catfight from the deepest pits of Hell."
We both laughed really hard at that.
"That was a good one!" Kevin said as we got our laughing under control. "Seriously though, it's fine to try to not always stoop to someone else's level, but it just seems like most people are too afraid to do anything these days, and of the solutions that are given are typically ones that don't really take in to consideration the reality of most of these minorities in society."
"I think I understand what you mean," I replied as I looked over where Kevin's desk was.
He followed my gaze, and I saw his laptop in the center of the desk, and to the right of it was his music player with the speakers to which it was connected, as well as a desk lamp beside the speakers. Then to the right of the laptop was a flag, and I stepped closer to look at it, and I saw that it was a Rainbow Flag, and I immediately recognized it as the one used within the LGBT Community, and at their pride events.
"Obviously you know in what direction my sympathies lie regarding the LGBT Community," Kevin said looking directly at me intensely.
"I do," I answered. "I'm glad you support them as deeply as you do."
"Thanks," he said. "You seem to be supportive of them as well,."
"I'm getting even more supportive of them every day," I replied. "Honestly, I didn't know much about them for a while, but as I've gotten more educated about them both from the classes I've been in regarding them, and my own reading I'm seeing them as more than names in books or in newspapers now."
"I'm glad to hear you say that!" Kevin responded as we sat back down on the edge of his bed again.
The sky was now dark enough for the first few stars to appear. Kevin and I were lying on our backs looking up at them as we lay in the back yard close to the house. His parents were inside cleaning up from dinner, and we had about a half an hour before Daniel returned for me.
The rest of that day was amazing! Kevin and I had lunch with his parents, as well as the two of us taking a walk later in the afternoon while his parents relaxed in the living room. Then once back at the house, we worked with Kevin's dad out in the garden for a bit, then we went in for dinner.
After dinner, we sat in the living room talking for a bit, then since it was Kevin's dad's turn to clean up the kitchen that Saturday evening, he did it with a little help from Kevin's mom. After we checked to see if they needed any help to which they said they didn't, Kevin and I went out in to the back yard, and that's where we had been up to this point at first sitting beside each other, then after Kevin lay down on his back, I decided to join him.
"I've really enjoyed our day today," I said turning my head to look directly at him.
Kevin turned his head to look at me as well, and he nodded his head then spoke.
"I really enjoyed our day together as well," he said. "I can't wait until we can do this again sometime, hopefully soon."
"I would really enjoy that!" I replied.
"So would I!" he answered.
"I was thinking about our conversation from earlier today," I went on,. "Do you know anyone who doesn't agree with the LGBT Community?"
"A couple of people on my dad's side of the family don't agree with people in that group," Kevin responded. "My mom's side of the family has been supportive of the community for a couple of decades now. Most of the ones who hadn't been who are from her family are almost all gone now aside from a couple, and we haven't had contact with them for a long time. They had many opportunities to become accepting of the community, but never did. They made their choice, and we can't allow ourselves as a family of our own to be accepting of their bigoted views no matter their age."
"I think that a lot of the people who hold Anti-LGBT views probably are really angry and probably deeply unhappy people," I said. "I don't know what other things might be going on with them, but I also can see just how much this issue means to you."
"It really does," Kevin said. "You're also right as well about what you said about the Anti-LGBT Bigots being deeply unhappy as well as really angry people. The two women who run the church my family and I go to would say that these kinds of people who think like that are trapped in Dostoyevsky's Hell of having to live with the suffering of no longer being able to love."
"That does sound like it would be a Hell of sorts," I responded.
"Yeah, really," he answered.
I lay there turning my head so that my eyes were directly looking up at the increasingly darkening sky. I understood deeply about what a Hell it could be to live in where hate, anger, rage and lack of love were the only things keeping me company. I had been living there not too long ago. I was working towards moving past all that as the days went by, and I was feeling good about how things were going as the first year went by with me living with Daniel, and as the last few months of 2022 had been going by, I was starting to feel a little more each day that I might be able to have a life with good and caring people around me within it going forward. I certainly had Daniel and Justin who were deeply good and kind, and Kevin was here now and I saw the kindness within him, and figured that I'd see more of that as I continued getting to know him.
"You seem lost in thought," Kevin said putting a hand on my arm.
I turned my head to face him, and was really enjoying the feeling of his hand on my arm. It was calming, and I hoped he'd keep it there for the rest of our time together!
"I was just thinking over what we discussed just now," I said.
"Yeah, it's a lot to think about," Kevin replied in agreement.
"I'm also thinking about how nice of an evening it is," I went on. "I really like how bright some of the stars are that are starting to appear now."
"Yeah," Kevin answered. "They really are pretty. "It's really nice that I'm able to experience watching them with you beside me tonight."
"I feel the same way," I replied as I turned on my side to face him.
He did the same, and we gazed in to each other's eyes and we kept looking in to one another's eyes for what seemed like an eternity! I was the first to break eye contact when I looked up, and saw the moon beginning to appear. As I looked up at it, I moved my hand forward a bit, and Kevin's hand was there as well.
When our hands made contact, I let mine rest against his, then he took it and held on to it. Though I had an impulse from deep within to pull it away, I ignored it, and I closed my hand around his, and we lay there like that holding each other's hand while at times looking up at the moon and stars, as well as gazing in to one another's eyes deeply, and for long moments.
In the final moments of us being together like that just before the sound of Daniel's car pulling in to the driveway sounded, I felt the sections of the walls that had been around my psyche and my heart giving way, and though scary in some ways, it was exciting as well as joyful in many other ways! I wanted to get close to Kevin, and I especially never wanted this moment between the two of us to end!
Author's Notes
I hope you like how I've brought Cole and Kevin a bit more closer in this chapter. You're also starting to see just how deeply Kevin cares for his fellow LGBT people, as well as how little use he has for those who would bring harm to them. I can imagine that you're all going to be interested even more now, as to how Kevin will feel once Cole tells him about his past, and I hope all of you enjoy how things unfold once we get to that point in the coming chapters. All that being said, I hope you're all staying safe, as well as having a good evening. I'll see everyone in Chapter Seven.