This is a work of pure fiction, based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of Characters:
Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero
Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother
Diane -- Jazz's wife
Janie and Jesse -- Jazz's kids
Rod -- Coles middle brother
Suzanne -- Rod's wife
Will and Cole V -- Rod's kids
Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil
Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad
Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom
Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend
Gus Hartwin -- Cole's Boyfriend
Michelle -- Cole's old girlfriend.
Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend
Ed -- Paramedic
Manolo -- Paramedic
Steve -- Manolo's boyfriend
Randy -- Found Boy
Curtis -- Found boy's brother
Kian Willis-- Friend in Vancouver
Nicolas Poole-- Friend in Vancouver
Howard Poole -- Nicolas's Father
Christian -- the pool guy
Boyd -- the pilot
Spike -- Cop and former classmate
The twins:
Marcus Aurelius
Alexander The Great
Jon -- Teacher's Aide
Gary Rose -- Nurse
Mickie -- Sorority girl
Grant "Skinny" Yorgason -- Former classmate
Chapter 44
I emailed Mickie and told her that there would be from 10 to 13 of "us". I left her my phone number and told her to call if there was anything we could bring.
"Cole? This is Mickie! I was so excited to get your email!"
Uh-oh! Are we going to be a published "oddity" at the party? I was beginning to regret this. "Why?"
"I just get tired of the testosterone and beer filled jocks that usually show up at these parties. Maybe you'll bring a note of sanity to it."
I started to tell her that the police would be represented, but decide to hold that one in reserve. "So -- what can we bring?" I asked instead.
"Really! Everything is being provided by the sororities. Just bring yourselves. How will I know all of you?"
"Well, you already know Gus and me. The rest by their designer clothing and lisps!" I couldn't resist. "Haha! Actually, you might not. We probably won't be dancing with each other! None of my friends like to make a spectacle of themselves. Some are even pretty hunky themselves! We'll probably be like all the other guys that congregate and scope out the women! Except we probably won't be scoping out the women!"
"Ya never know!" She quipped.
"Yeah, I do know." I said with some degree of finality.
"Okay!" she said all sing-songy. "See you here then!"
"What'd she say?" Asked my sweetie pie.
"That she has the hots for you!" I teased. "I'm not too sure this is such a good idea!"
"Rrrrrummmmm! She likes me? SCORE!" He teased back.
The week went rather faster than I was comfortable with. We coordinated with all the guys and other than Spike, we all met in then parking lot and made our entrance all together. The dorm had a basement -- unusual in California -- and that's where the party was. There were no dorm rooms in the basement, so if anyone wanted to "go upstairs" it was pretty obvious.
I felt more emboldened going in as a group. Before we went in, Gary introduced me to Gunther. "I like to be called Gunt." He grinned. "People remember it better!" He gave me a hug -- a closer hug than I expected! He pulled my groin into his lower tummy. He was one of those guys whose stomach was below his waistline. He held me a little too long. By the time it occurred to me to get loose, he was letting me go. "Great to know you, Cole!" he said, lust running out of his mouth and streaming out of his eyes.
Gunt was a pretty small guy. He looked to be maybe early thirties. He was very self assured and hip appearing. He was short, built slight, and he had generous hair everywhere except his head, where it was obvious that by the time he was 40 he would probably be bald. Funny thing was, I was more attracted to him than I expected I would be! He had a heavy beard, probably always with a heavy five-o'clock shadow. It almost made me drool! I was embarrassed. His looks were very masculine and his ruggedly handsome face belied his small stature. He grinned again and I took a step back and grabbed Gus's hand. "Nice to meet yah, Gunt." I said shyly.
When we got to the door, it was standing open with a sign to pass down to the basement -- which we did. There were a lot of people already there. Some were obviously football types, but with no one in uniform, it was hard to tell for sure. It was obvious that the whole team was not there yet. But the guys who looked big enough to be players looked uncharacteristically -- nice! If anything, they were dressed up more than we were, and each of them looked up at us and actually smiled to us when we entered.
Mickie immediately and quickly walked to the base of the stairs. "Cole! I was afraid you might not come! This is Andrea, my roommate. She shook my hand and then Mickie moved on to Gus, warmly schmoozing him.
"Where are you from?" Andrea said to me as she led me away from the stairs.
Following her, I answered, "Not far. I graduated from Downey High, and now live in the foothills."
"Oh. Cool. What is your major?" She asked.
"Premed." I affirmed. "I was going into med school, but I changed my major to psychology. My goal now is a reality therapist -- maybe a psychiatrist."
"I'm from Arkansas." She said.
"Wow!" I quipped. "I don't hear any accent."
"Well, out in the country you'll find more accent, but I grew up in the city -- West Memphis. It's sort of a suburb of Memphis." She droned on and then I could recognize at least the cadence of the south if not the actual accent. Then I noticed it. Every one of the guys was separated from his partner and talking -- as I was -- except for Nick and Kian.
Uncomfortable, I said, "Excuse me, but I need to get back to my partner. You know that my group are all gay -- right?"
"Oh?" she said too innocently -- as if to say, I knew, but "oh" anyway. She followed me to where Gus looked worse off than I. He looked cornered! I put my arm on his shoulder and at first he flinched, then he looked at me and smiled -- and relaxed a little.
I looked around the room. The other guys seemed to be holding their own pretty well. Gunt was talking to one particular girl who was a head taller than himself. He was smiling and very animated. She was the only girl who seemed to be retreating.
I had just about made up my mind to say, "Okay -- something's going on here! We didn't come here to be saved -- or converted." But before I could say it,
"Gus? Gus Hartwin!" A very buffed out and very young looking guy approached. Gus looked perplexed. "Hey! Don't you remember me? I don't blame you. You were a senior when I was a freshman at Downey." Gus blushed. I still didn't recognize the guy, myself. The girl left us.
"Uh -- I'm afraid I'm a little embarrassed." Gus said. "Sorry, but I didn't know many freshmen. That would make you a frosh here too, huh?"
"Actually I graduated from Downey six months after you. I was a little ahead in my studies. I used to be called Skinny. Skinny Yorgason. Most people call me Grant now." Both of us did a double take, our mouths dropping.
"You're -- you're -- not -- um -- skinny any more!" Gus said
"Nah! When I got here, I started to fill out a bit -- and work out too. I'm a tight end for the Bruins for the second year. Man, I wished that I could play with you!"
Even Mickie did a double take at that remark. "Oh! No, I'm not gay. I just was really into football. But never big enough to play in high school. So -- WOW! You're gay huh. And wait!" He looked me up and down. "You look familiar too!"
"I graduated with Gus. Cole Stephanson."
"Oh! Nice to meet you Cole. Maybe I'm assuming things, but it did look like you grabbed Gus's hand a minute ago."
"Yeah -- I mean no, you're not wrong in your assumption." I said it a little too defensively. Somehow meeting someone who knew us from high school was a bit intimidating.
"Wow! So, Gus! Wow! I sure didn't guess you were -- well -- were YOU even aware that you were -- um -- gay -- back then?" He was so out in the open and forward. This was not the slinking, hide-in-the-shadows kid we knew in high school. Gus didn't know what to say, so Skinny said, "Hey! I'd love to talk to you sometime. Maybe I can interview you?"
"Interview me?" Gus said incredulous.
"I'm in psychology. I want to understand all I can about the single most intriguing phenomenon coming up in this century -- the rise of homosexuality."
"Wait a minute!" I said. "I'm a psych major. Why haven't I seen you around?"
"You probably have, but you didn't recognize me. And -- I'm a grad student. This will be my last year before I go to Harvard Med School."
"Oh." I said. "Must be nice!"
"What?" He said.
"To be a genius. It must be nice."
"I've had my moments. It's not all it may seem. I mean I can't go back, but -- have you seen most of the chicks in Mensa? And the ones that I'm physically attracted to are mostly bimbos. And -- they think I'm gay! I don't know what to do about that!"
"Why do they think you're gay?"
"Maybe it's because I don't fall all over myself when they walk in the room." He said, as he turned almost completely around watching a really buff guy walk by.
"Uh huh." I said. "When are you gonna stop fooling yourself?"
"Huh?
"Skinny! You totally scoped out that hot guy that just walked by!"
"So? Just because I appreciate the beauty of the human form, it doesn't mean I'm gay."
"That's true, but what about your tongue that was hanging out of your mouth?"
"It Was NOT!" He said a too loud, then ducked his head a little. Then he looked up at me like he was gonna cry -- but he didn't.
"Dude," I said quietly, "If you're a graduate psyche major, don't you think you better deal with your own reality before you go messing with other people's?"
He stared at me for at least 30 seconds in amazement -- and torture. "Cole -- My dad would kill me!" he whispered.
"A lot of guys' parents don't support them when they find out about - - this."
"No! You don't get it. He might actually kill me. You know, like as in shoot me or break my neck. He's a violent man."
"You don't have to tell him." I said, leading him over to a more secluded corner of the room.
"I'm not sure I can trust myself to -- to -- I mean -- as long as I can NOT think about it -- it's like it's not there."
"Uh huh. And how do you think I `guessed'?"
"Uh -- `gaydar'?"
"I guess you could say that. All `gaydar' is, is that a guy is acting so gay - - you notice."
"But -- that's' why I buffed up. To -- to - "
"To distract people from other characteristics. I know. A LOT of gays do that. Gyms are full of them -- and the other gays who go there to find them. While you're at the gym -- do you look at other guys? Don't even answer that. I saw how you looked at that fully clothed guy a couple minutes ago."
"Cole, can we dicuss this another time -- at another place. I don't feel comfortable talking about it here."
"Sure. Actually I had no right to attack you like that. Sorry." I said, embarrassed myself.
"But -- I really DO want to talk to someone -- well -- YOU -- about it."
"Can you come to my dorm room sometime? And -- would you mind if Gus was there?"
"I dunno, dude. I just - "
Skinny, you have changed from a skinny little pimple faced kid to this Adonis I see in front of me. I -- really don't want to trust myself alone with you -- in a counseling situation. You KNOW how easily that can get out of control if one is not careful."
"Sure. How about tonight?"
"Can't. We go home tonight."
"We? Who's we?" And where's home?"
"When we're not here -- Gus and I -- we're at my parents'."
"And they're okay with -- you know?"
"Well -- they wouldn't have chosen this for me -- but -- yeah, they accept it. And really love Gus like one of their own. And we are considerate enough that we don't flaunt it. And - - my parents ALWAYS knock before entering our bedroom. Actually, mom never comes in. And the few times dad has `caught us' -- come in -- after knocking and we are still breathing hard, (haha!) he -- well, let's just say he's got a good sense of humor."
"God, you are so lucky!"
"And we don't take it for granted. Gus's parents are not so accepting."
Skinny paused for a long moment. Finally, his face red, and his eyes showing signs of fatigue from holding back the emotion, he said, "Okay! <SIGH!> I guess I'll have to wait. But I - I -- I'm so scared of him! When he drinks too much - "
"Is he bigger than you are?" I asked incredulously.
"No, but -- Shit! I don't want to hurt him either."
Yeah. I know. He's still your dad. Skinny, let me talk to Gus a bit -- and don't leave. It's obvious that there's no danger here -- as WE were worried about."
"Danger?"
"We had no idea that this was a Christian sorority thing. Are they trying to save us or -- `cure" us?"
"They -- well," he blushed, "Yeah, kind of."
"It doesn't work that way, Skinny."
"I know that's how you feel. But I -- I hope you're wrong. I have hope that -- that it will work."
"Well, just don't leave the party until I get back to you -- okay?"
"Okay."
"Have fun!" I commanded. He smiled, looking tired.
"Gus -- would you mind if Skinny comes home with us tonight?" He was by this time alone.
"Why would I mind? Better you should ask your mom if she minds."
"You know better than that! And I wouldn't even call her this late to tell her. You never know -- I might be interrupting something important!" I smiled.
"Well, you know I wouldn't mind! Why?"
"He wants me to sort of counsel with him."
"Isn't he a grad student in psych?"
"Yeah. Makes me kinda nervous."
"Why? I've told you that you are a natural. But -- doesn't he want something more private than -- where were you gonna do it? Do I need to get lost?"
"No. I told him one of the prerequisites is that you be there.?"
"What the hell -- ?"
"Dude! I dunno if you noticed how cute he is - "
"Well, yeah, but - "
"Gus! I love you too much to take even a small chance. He's cute -- hot even -- and there are too many instances of things happening."
"Omigod, Cole! If I can't trust you by now - "
"It has nothing to do with that, Gus. I'm once more going to go with my dad's advice. Err on the side of caution'. Dad says that as a young man I still will have temptations. And I don't want there to be any chance of my stupid moments of weakness -- or YOUR moment of jealousy or distrust -- to spoil what we have. This is my way of saying away from the edge'."
"What are you gonna do when you are in private practice?"
"That's at least five years -- maybe more. Maybe when I'm 26 or more, and the time comes, I'll feel more confident. We've both made really stupid mistakes in the past few months, Gus! Do I have to say more?"
"How about Nick and Kian, and Chris and Boyd? Isn't it going to be awkward with them in your brothers' rooms?"
"No!" I said defensively. "Gus -- he's desperate. And afraid."
"Afraid -- of what?"
"Of what his dad might do if he has even a clue that Skinny might not be `manly' as he thought -- or hoped."
"Fu -- er -- DAMN parents! Why do they always have to fuck things up!!??" Shit! Sorry Babe"
Several people turned around and stared. Gus got red and lowered his voice. "Sorry. This is a really quiet group. I wonder what's up?"
"It's a Christian sorority. They hope to convert us or save us or something -- or - - cure us."
"Oh you gotta be kidding! Let's get outa here!"
"Naw. We don't have to be rude. As soon as people start leaving, we can go. There's no hurry. Let's catch up with the other guys. It looks like they mostly have extricated themselves from their captors."
"Yeah, except for that Gunt guy. He seems to be pretty interested in what she has to say." We both looked at them. He was animated and she looked hooked. I looked for Gary. He didn't seem to be around. Oh! There he is -- on the other side of the room -- laughing with a guy I've never seen. The other guy got more serious and was touching Gary's arm. Gary nodded and they walked our way.
"Cole!" Gary said. "Thanks a lot for inviting me to this party. This is Dwayne. I knew him years ago -- in junior high school. We've had a ball going over old times. He's kept up with the old gang. We're going out for a drink. Catch you guys later."
As soon as Gary left, others seemed to take that as their exit cue, and so did we. Outside I apologized to everyone. But every guy said it was fun -- if a bit different. Nick said that he was happy to have a chance to get away, and winked at Boyd, who was grinning at Chris. The only one who didn't leave with us was Gunt. I had a feeling that this was no great loss.
I told the others (that were coming to our house) that I forgot something inside. I went in and found Skinny. He looked relieved to see me. "I thought I saw you leave!" He said.
"Skinny, can you come home with us tonight?"
"Won't your parents be pissed?"
"One more won't make any difference. I have four other friends, besides Gus -- who are sleeping over tonight. It's a big house. Besides my brothers' bedrooms, there is an extra one. Actually my brothers have never slept in their rooms. But when we moved, Mom insisted in designating each room for one of my brothers. The twins are still in Mom and Dad's room - "
"Twins?"
"Yeah, I have twin little brothers. 10 months old."
"So where will everyone sleep?"
"Well, Kian and Nick will be in one room, Chris and Boyd in another, and if you want you can have the one left over. I just kind of figured you would stay with Gus and me."
"You have an extra bed in your room?"
"Naw! But our king sized bed is big enough for all three of us."
"Are you sure?"
"We can decide that later. Let's go, huh?"
At first I thought there was a panicky look in his eyes. But I decided it was excitement. The Canada entourage all rode in my station wagon, with Gus and Skinny following in Skinny's car. Somehow we got home safely, with all the crazy stuff going on in my car and me driving, one-eyed. I am getting more and more used to it. I just have to really rely on my mirrors and always look really well, before turning or changing lanes.
I called from the car. "We're on the way home." I said.
"I'll order pizza!"
"Mom, it's late! You don't have to - "
"Nonsense. Growing boys always can eat pizza!"
"I don't think any of us are growing any more." I laughed. "But thanks!"
We walked in the door and Boyd walked immediately to my dad. "Hello, Mr. Stephanson! Remember me -- Boyd?"
"Boyd --- is it?" Dad said. "Aren't you the pilot who flew us up to Vancouver?"
"Yup! As luck would have it, Nick and Kian needed a lift down here. Thanks for your hospitality!"
"Think nothing of it! Come in to the kitchen and have some pizza!"
Mom and dad reacquainted themselves with Nick and Kian. Kian was totally charming, his low melodious voice continuing to surprise me -- especially coming from his thin, slight form.
"You're home early!" Mom said. "I didn't expect you till the wee hours. Has college life changed so much since we - "
"It was a Christian sorority party. And actually we were some of the first to leave."
"Oh! Did Spike ever make it? He called here. He lost your cell phone number."
"He made it -- in uniform, as I asked. But there was no trouble. They were trying to `save' us."
"Get used to it, son." My dad said. "They are trying to save us too!" We all laughed.
After some serious pizza and soft drinks were consumed, Mom went to the fridge and took out something rather large. "I heard through the grapevine that you were celebrating your birthday tonight. She uncovered an ice cream cake from Baskin-Robbins.
"This is just not fair!" I whined. "This was MY idea as an excuse to get you guys down here!"
"These are your friends who love you, Son." Dad said. "Just receive - - and enjoy!" Everyone had cards for me -- well, except Skinny -- and Gus. We decided to wait and go shopping when we got the chance.
"Dad wanted me to give you a card." Said Nick, holding one of those billfold style cards. I opened it. "Thanks for everything, son!" it said. There was a bill folded in it. I very secretively turned and peeked at the bill. It was the first time I ever saw Grover Cleveland on a bill. It was a thousand dollar bill! I took a gasping breath and turned back to the group.
"Musta been good!" Said my dad.
"It was!" I averred.
After the ice cream cake, Dad ushered each couple to their assigned rooms. They showed Skinny to the extra room, which was made up like a den, with a sofa-bed. Dad started to pull it out. "Don't, Dad. Grant will probably be in our room tonight."
"Oh?" Dad exclaimed with arched eyebrows.
"We have some serious reminiscing and stuff to do." I said. Dad smiled, and looked to the ceiling like he knew what was "really" going on. I let it stand at that.
When we got to our room, and the door shut and locked, Skinny said, "Your parents are incredible!"
"Thanks! We know."
"I mean, even if my dad thought all of us were straight, he wouldn't allow three of us to sleep in the same bed. He is soooo homophobic! Like as if sleeping together might make us gay!"
It was funny the way he said it, but I felt a twinge of sadness too. Such ignorance there is in the world. "Shall we hit the sack?" I said.
"Aren't we gonna talk?" Skinny asked.
"Well, I don't have a couch in here, so the bed will have to do. And you wouldn't mind if we also lay down would you? It's kind of informal anyway."
"I -- guess not." He said looking form my face to Gus's. "Where can I change?"
"Did you bring pajamas?" I asked.
"No, but - " Obviously he was a little uncomfortable.
"We'll turn the light off if it makes you more comfortable." And I switched off the light. We all shed our clothes -- except for Gus and I kept our boxers and Skinny kept his underwear and tee shirt on. I was in the middle.
"So - - would you prefer Grant?" I asked.
"It doesn't really matter - - yes! Actually it DOES matter. Call me Grant."
"Grant it is! I like that name. It sounds stable or something. So -- where would you like to start?"
"<Sigh!> Where does a guy start -- with this subject?"
"Well, let's start with something less intimidating. How old are you?"
"Seventeen."
"Is that all?" I thought - "
"I started school early. I was four in Kindergarten.."
"When will you be 18?"
"In November."
"Okay! So -- in China you are 18!"
"Huh?"
"They start counting at conception in China."
"Hmm, That lets you off the hook, doesn't it?"
"Not really, but we're not here to seduce you -- really! How do you feel right now?"
"A little scared."
"Oh?" I said. "Scared of what?"
"I've never talked to anyone about this."
"About what?" I asked. I knew, but I wanted him to say it.
"You know!" He whined.
"I don't want to assume anything, Grant. What exactly are we here to talk about?"
"Um -- well, - I guess -- um -- whether or not I'm a fag." When he said that, his hand moved and touched my leg. He jerked it back. "Sorry!"
"First of all, let's use less strong terms, okay. You want to determine if you're gay or not, is that it?"
"<sigh!> Yeah."
"Grant, try to relax. It's okay to touch another guy -- whether or not you're gay. The question is -- are you sexually attracted to guys -- some guys. And -- believe me, Grant, at your age this is a very real question that a LOT more guys are asking themselves than you might imagine."
"Really?" He asked.
"Yup!" I heard Gus start his slow deep breathing. "Sounds like we've lost Gus. So -- Grant, how many girls have you dated."
He mumbled something.
"What?" I said. "How many?" I repeated.
"None." He almost whispered.
"Oh!" I exclaimed. "But you've never dated a guy either, right?"
"That's true."
"Don't answer this as fast as the rest. I want you to think about it. "Do you think you want to try it?"
He thought about it for about 60 seconds. "I don't know."
"That's a non-answer. Yes or no are the only answers allowed."
He sighed again, and again his hand involuntarily touched my leg. Again he jerked it back. I grabbed it and held it with both hands.
"I -- I -- I - - uhm -- Omigod!" He cried. He turned toward me and hugged my arm. I felt his wet face on my shoulder. "I don't wanna be gay!" He whispered hoarsely. He didn't even try to keep his boner from touching my leg.
"It's okay, Grant. Just because you are having a -- certain reaction right now -- doesn't mean you're gay, Dude! You're only 17! There are a lot of teen guys who assume that just because they are attracted to another guy in his class, that they are gay. That's not so! It could be a lot of things. If you've never touched or kissed a guy or girl and are almost 18, almost anything could set you off. If you're lying in bed with a guy -- or guys -- that you have immortalized, that's more like hero worship! Don't assume it's homosexuality. A teen's body will react in that way -- with a boner -- to almost anything that excites him -- sexual or not. Eating a hot fudge sundae could pop you a boner!"
"Really?"
"Really." I averred. "Have you ever kissed a guy?"
"No!" he exclaimed.
"Have you ever kissed a girl?"
"No." He said much more quietly. I felt his boner get softer.
"When we were talking about guys, you got hard, but when I switched it to a girl, you softened up. That's not exactly definitive, but it's maybe something to watch. Think about a girl's anatomy. Her boobs, her vagina. How does that make you feel?"
"Creepy."
"Who's your best friend?"
"I -- don't have -- a best friend."
"Who would you like it to be?"
"I dunno."
"Imagine you're in bed with a hot guy."
"I don't have to. I'm IN bed with two!"
"Duh! Stupid me! Um -- how does that make you feel? Try to get beyond the lust thing."
"I feel -- um -- incredibly shy and also embarrassed. And - - pretty aroused."
"Can you imagine I am a girl? Close your eyes and just touch my face -- its hairless. What does that make you feel?"
"Nothing."
"I don't think this is really working. This is not a fair position to have you in."
"Cole -- I have never felt like this with a girl. I've felt it many times when guys are around -- very strong reaction. I've never told anyone. It's very difficult to admit it -- even to myself -- that I might be gay."
"<Sigh!> I know, Grant. I know!"
"Can we go to sleep now?" Grant said. "I'm getting awfully tired., and - - I think this is enough for one -- um -- session."
"You're probably right." I said.
He clamored closer and kissed me - on the lips!
"I liked it!" He said. "G'night."
When I woke up I was surprised that Grant was already awake. Lying on his back, his shirt was off and he was looking at the ceiling. He said to me, without looking at me, "I didn't sleep -- at all."
"Ohhh! I'm sorry! Maybe you should have gone back to your own bedroom."
"Oh no -- it's okay. I was thinking all night. I was so confused before we talked. Now I feel much better. I don't have any doubt that I'm gay. I was testing my feelings back and forth. You were right. I feel nothing imagining a girl. But thinking about a guy, I was aroused every time. "
"Well, I still think you are too young -- and inexperienced -- to come to any conclusion. But if you decide that you are gay, it will make it a lot easier when and if you fall for a guy."
"I'm already in love."
"Oh!" I said. "Does he know?"
"If he doesn't, he's not as intuitive as I thought. I'm lying here next to him, talking to him!" From the other side of the bed, I saw Gus's eyes pop open. "I know you're in love with Gus. I know you can't return what I feel for you. And I'm also smart enough to know that a feeling that came on me so fast will also go away fast. Thank Mensa -- and a couple classes in deductive reasoning for that! But now I think I know what it feels like. It's intense and it is awesome feeling. I've never before felt like I do about you this moment. Lots of guys have made my stomach churn and given me wood. But this feeling is different. Look! I'm not even hard." I couldn't help myself -- I looked! "See? Cole, I know now, and I don't plan on telling my parents!"
"That would probably be smart." I said lamely.
"But the thing is -- now that I know -- and I'm not so worried and mixed up -- I'm not worried about keeping it a secret. If it's alright with you, I am going to fantasize that you love me too -- and then I can concentrate on finishing my doctorate. Is that okay with you?"
"You want us to give you something to fantasize about?" Gus said.
"Oh! Gus! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he said.
"No -- it's okay. No problem!" Gus answered. "I really meant it. Do you wanna watch us? Can your love for my partner allow you to do that?" I honestly couldn't tell where Gus was on this. If he was being sarcastic, I couldn't tell.
"Gus -- really I don't think -" I started.
"It's okay, Cole -- and Gus -- maybe it will be better in my imagination."
He seemed a little disappointed, but I wasn't. He went to the bathroom.
"What was up with that?" I asked Gus.
"Sorry. It should have been more obvious to me that you weren't leading him on."
"So you WERE being sarcastic!"
"I said I was sorry. But that was pretty ballsy of that kid to come on to you with me sleeping right beside you."
"I didn't think he was coming on to me."
"You're naïve."
"Maybe. Anyway, in the first place, I didn't feel anything for Grant. And - - if I had, I wouldn't have done anything about it."
"I know that!" He said defensively.
"I'm not so sure you do." I said. "And I blame myself for that."
"Nuh-uh! Why - "
"It hasn't been too long since we both have screwed up, Sweetheart. I don't want to start taking you for granted -- again. And vice-versa."
"You're right -- as usual." He acquiesced. And he threw back the covers and climbed on top of me and kissed me -- deeply!
"Someday I'll experience that!" Said Grant, walking back in the room.
"I hope so, Grant. I really hope so!"
"And good morning to you, too!" Said Mom with a giggle. Grant had left the door open and Gus was still on top of me when she walked by, as well as Grant standing there, half erect, in his tighty-whities. "Breakfast will be in ½ hour, if you will wake your friends.
I put on my shorts and walked down the hall and around the corner to Jazzy's room -- where Nick and Kian were. Dad was standing by the door -- which was slightly ajar. I quietly walked up behind me and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Oh! Shit!!" he whispered.
"Getting a good eyeful?" I whispered back.
"Damn, Cole, have you seen that Kian's - "
"I don't know how to even answer that, Dad. But - - yes I have -- and may I say -- in much the same way you just did."
"Damn! That's a piece of art! And the way they make it work is nothing short of brilliant!"
"Settle down Dad." I chuckled. "Do I have to remind you that you are in your pajamas and you have to walk back to the other side of the house?" He looked down.
"Shit!" He said. "Well, you must be here for a reason."
"Yeah, I was gonna wake them up for breakfast. I think I'll just wake the others first." I stepped back to the other door, knocked and said -- loud enough for Nick and Kian to hear, "Time to get up. Breakfast in 30 minutes!"
"Don't you tell anyone I was looking!" Dad said -- "And especially don't tell anyone how I reacted!"
"I've got such a cutie-pie for a dad!" I said and I pecked him on the lips!
Of course Mom outdid herself for breakfast. All those boys to feed -- she was in her version of heaven! After we finished, and were all talking, Gus got up. He pulled a very small package from under the table, but he dropped it under the table and then got down on his knees to retrieve it. Before he got up he said,
"Cole, we haven't celebrated out 21st birthday yet -- you and me -- so I want you to have this and - - Will you marry me?" He wobbled just a bit on his knees, and his eyes were glassy.
I was flabbergasted. "You know I have not had time to get any -- when did you -- oh, Gus, this is -- so -- I mean - "
"This is where you say yes, Duck!" he said to me in his most Elmer Fudd voice.
He thrust the little package into my hands. I opened the package. There was a little tin ring with a plastic diamond in it. First I laughed. Then I was suddenly speechless. I looked down at him with tears in my eyes and then gave him my hand and lifter him up, pushing him into his chair. "I -- I don't know how to say this - - Gus - - I -- (cough cough) ummmmm -- well -- Yes!"
"OMIGOD!" He exclaimed. "Give me a heart attack!" Everyone cheered.
"Is that legal in California?" Nick asked.
"Naw -- but it's no less binding in our hearts." I almost whispered.
Notes: Are our boys ready? Probably more ready than most at any age -- homo or hetero. Stay tuned - - -
Comments may be sent to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve