This is a work of pure fiction, based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of Characters:
Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero
Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother
Diane -- Jazz's wife
Rod -- Coles middle brother
Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil
Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad
Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom
Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend
Gus Hartwin -- Cole's Boyfriend
Michelle -- Cole's old girlfriend.
Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend
Ed -- Paramedic
Manolo -- Paramedic
Steve -- Manolo's boyfriend
Randy -- Found Boy
Curtis -- Found boy's brother
Kian Willis-- Friend in Vancouver
Nicolas Poole-- Friend in Vancouver
Howard Poole -- Nicolas's Father
Christian -- the pool guy
Boyd -- the pilot
From Chapter 24
"I love you, Dad!"
"Love you too, Son. Shall we go back to bed?"
"Night, Dad." I kissed him on his neck.
When I slipped back into bed, "Where you been?" Gus asked.
"Nowhere. Just talking to my dad."
" `Bout what?"
"Nothin'."
.
Chapter 25
"Nothing? Really?"
"He was telling me about his adolescence."
"Sharing how the other side lives?"
"I mean his PRE-adolescence. Gus, compared to me -- he had a very active sexual life -- with other guys."
"What?? What do you mean `compared to you'? He -- what? He did things with guys?"
"Yeah. A lot. Well, actually I didn't do anything, so maybe I'm not a good comparison."
"And -- and -- and he liked it?"
"Yeah. And seemed to get it out of his system."
"Oh."
"I wonder if we had done it as preteens, we woulda `got it out of our systems'?" I said.
"Is that what you would have wanted?"
"I talked to my dad about that." I said.
"What did you tell him?" Gus sounded a little put out -- or maybe worried, or something.
"Gus, I used to wish I was straight. I did! But I told dad that I love you so much now, I can't imagine life without you!"
The strain and tension drained out of his face. Tears came to his eyes. He tried to speak and couldn't. He grabbed me and held me like a baby. After a moment, he whispered in my ear, "My God, I love you Sweetie!"
I know that what I told my dad was verified by my sweetheart's passion.
"So your dad played a little huh?"
"More than a little!" I said.
"Huh?" He reared back and his eyes got big.
I told him everything I could remember.
"Shit!?" He exclaimed. "That's hella more than I did! HELLA! And your dad says he doesn't feel anything -- um -- for men -- now?"
"He says he doesn't. he admits that maybe he has suppressed it. It wasn't okay after he matured. When he got into jr. high, and the other guys -- him too -- started to grow cocks from thjeir little peepees to -"
"Haha!"
"Anyway after that he doesn't remember wanting to do anything with guys."
"Man! I ALWAYS wanted to!"
"You dated girls!" I said.
"I know. I got off on dating the girls the other guys only wished they could! But all that time I wanted to be dating guys. When Rex first came on to me I was completely freaked out. I thought he was testing me -- maybe somehow figured me out and I was scared shitless! Sorry! Anyway, it took some convincing for him to get me to let him suck me!"
"What? He sucked you first?"
"That was the only way I was going to believe him! Once he did that, we were nearly always together."
"Man, I wanted him sooo much!" I said. "He and Rod were so close! When I found out about Rex -- shoot! He still never told me about you! He kept that secret!"
"He was a great guy, Cole. Too bad his parents were so fu -- er -- COLE! There's no other way to say it. They were f-ed up and they f-ed up their son. Otherwise he would be alive today." Gus got a far away look and a tear came down from each eye.
"I loved him too Gus. He was like another big brother to me. If he didn't -- do that to himself -- he might be in a lot of pain now. I wonder how much of his wildness can be blamed on his parents?"
"I dunno, Cole. I only know I had to get away from him, and GEEZ! Now I feel this guilt or something -- like I left him when he needed me the most." Gus choked back a sob. "Cole," he was whispering, "Do you think -- he woulda -- um -- hanged himself -- if I had stayed?"
"Gus -- Baby -- I don't think anyone can answer that. He might have anyway, rather than putting you through his dying stuff. He was pretty ugly at the end. As for me - - I think you did the right thing."
"Cole -- have you ever been tested?"
I was stunned. I thought about it and I'm ashamed that I answered defensively. "Hey! I'm not the one who was fucking with a living disaster!" Gus looked immediately hurt. "I'm sorry, baby." I said. "You asked a fair question."
"I was Tested, Cole." Gus stated. "Negative. But I wonder. I think they only tested for HIV. That was 2 -- 3 years ago. Now they test for everything."
"Maybe we should get tested -- just to be safe." I said.
"Who have you been with -- besides me and the guys up in Vancouver?" Gus asked.
"Oh! I didn't even think of THOSE guys. Iggy was the only one before you."
"Oh yeah, the Russian guy. Was he clean?"
"Oh yeah. A clean freak! Oh! You mean -- I -- uh -- think so."
"Cole -- well, if either of us has something, it's pretty much too late for either of us. We've done so much and so often, whatever either has -- the other has!"
"So -- we shouldn't get tested?" I said, almost relieved. I knew the answer before he said it.
He looked deeply into my eyes before answering. "I think -- it would be better to know -- for sure -- if for no other reason than we would know what and when to be careful."
"Oh." I said emotionlessly. "Okay. I have an appointment with Dr. Steere next week. Maybe we can both get a test then.
"Cole," Dr. Steere said. "We did a complete blood workup when you were in here before. If anything like that showed up, we would have told you. You have only been with Gus here since then?"
Looking at the floor, I whispered, "No."
"I'm sorry, Cole. I couldn't hear you." The doctor said.
"Doctor," Gus explained, "We met and made friends -- close friends, if you know what I mean -- with some guys in Vancouver."
"Hmm. Er -- um -- how many?"
"Three." Gus said.
So -- there were five of you? Sounds rather like an orgy." Funny thing was he didn't sound the least bit judgmental. Only concerned.
"We -- er -- didn't have sex with them all at once."
"But -- you did have sex with them all?"
"Not both of us -- not with all of them."
"But -- between the two of you -- you did make physical contact with them all?"
Gus looked at me. I shrugged, then blurted out, "NO!"
"Wha -- at?" Gus said.
"We only -- had contact with -- Chris! We never touched Nick or Kian. It seemed so, because we were -- um -- together. But - "
"Your right!" Gus said.
"So it was only one?" The doctor said. "That helps. And - - how many had he been with before you?"
Again, I stared into Gus's eyes. "Dunno." He said
"Baby, I think that was his first time ever." I said.
"Any penetration?" The Doc asked. When he saw my horrified expression, he added, "Cole, I'm not here to judge anything except your chances for disease, and to advise you of risk factors. Many guys -- people -- don't realize that when you have sex with one, you may as well have had sex with all his partners as well."
"Doctor, This guy was only supposedly watching me and Gus. But in our passion -- and his excitement, he -- um -- started to suck on me -- my -- er -- penis." It pained me to have to explain this to my doctor.
"Okay. Well, that doesn't sound too bad, Cole. But even with that, you could get Herpes simplex I if he had a sore."
"HERPES!!?" I said louder than I meant to.
"It's not the same as what they call genital herpes. Not as serious, Cole. But it's the kind that usually shows up as cold sores or fever blisters. But when there is oral to genital contact it can be transmitted. Herpes II, by the way, can also be transmitted to the mouth the same way."
"Oh. I didn't -- um -- notice that he had any sores. I don't think he would have - "
"Well, you don't know for sure. Okay, we'll do another full blood workup -- on you both. We should be able to give you some results in about a week."
That was the longest week of my life! Nothing was different from the week before. But the waiting and what the doctor said in his office was disastrous. I almost wished we had never decided to get tested. Yet now we had to know. It was actually longer than a week, so I called. The nurse took a message and then called back to tell me that Doctor Steere said to give us the result.
"You were negative for HIV, and everything else." The nurse said.
"What about Gus?" I asked.
"Is he there? I cannot give the results to anyone else."
I handed the phone to Gus. "Hello?" He said. "Uh huh. Good! Ok -- um -- ok!" He lost his color. "Really? Uh, what does that mean? Oh. Okay. No. Okay. Bye."
Gus looked stunned. He stared out the window. I got a sick feeling in my stomach, and a tight knot in my gut.
"Cole - - " he started. His eyes clouded over. He blinked quickly. They filled with tears anyway. "Cole, I -- I -- I -- tested positive for Type II - genital Herpes!" He sat -- more like fell into the nearby chair. My heart stopped for a beat or two, then started beating fast. I almost threw up. I swallowed hard. Gus was staring at the floor, one hand on his cheek, his mouth open and quivering.
I sat on the floor on front of him, and looked up into his eyes. I put a hand on his knee. A tear fell on my hand. He covered it with his hand. "Gus. We -- I mean -- he didn't -- SHIT! We don't know how serious it is." Seeing my sweetheart's despair, I momentarily forgot my worries. Taking a deep breath, I calmly said, "HE didn't tell us -- how serious Herpes is."
Tears falling easily, Gus croaked, "He -- he -- said -- that this type was more serious than the mouth kind! Oh, Cole! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"
"Hey - - Gus -- sweetie -- don't -- I mean - "
Loudly he blubbered out, "COLE! We don't know if I gave it to you or - "
"Babe -- I tested negative -- for anything." I was trying to comfort him. It had the opposite effect.
"I'll move home with my parents tonight." He said. I felt like I had been slapped.
"NO!" I yelled. "We will do this - - together."
"COLE!! I don't want to give this to you! You have enough to - "
"Dammit, Gus, You're not getting out of this so easy! You promised to stay with me even after I -- well -- I mean -- when I lose this eye! I'm not giving up on you like this!" We were shouting.
My dad stepped into the room. "Hey -- what's going on, guys. Are you okay?"
"I got Herpes!" Gus blurted out.
"Oh. Me too. I get a cold sore once in a while." Dad said evenly.
"It's genital herpes, Dad." I said, trying desperately to control my voice.
"How do you know? Do you have a sore?"
"No, sir." Gus said.
"Hey, what happened to `Dad'? So you got your tests back huh? Pretty heavy time for you! Have you ever had -- well you didn't even know you had it, did you?"
"No."
"Gus -- Cole -- you can't spread herpes -- I or II -- unless there is an open sore. And believe me -- you KNOW -- sometimes days before an outbreak -- when it's coming. And it may never break out. You may only be carrying it. Listen, talk to Doctor Steere about it."
"We talked to the nurse, and - "
"No -- talk to the doctor! Make an appointment if necessary. I'll pay! In the mean time, let's look on the internet and see what we can find."
"Did you know that itching, burning, tingling, bumps, or swelling in or around the genital area can be a sign of genital herpes (GH)? GH is an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus, and is almost always sexually transmitted. While GH is often mistaken for some other condition, the symptoms of GH often return over time" was the first thing we read.
"Shit, I've had itching before." Gus moaned, "I thought it was just jock itch."
"Probably was!" Dad said. "Look, this is an ad. They want to sell their medicine. Let's check another page."
Dad found a government page.
"Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the herpes simplex viruses type 1 (HSV-1) and type 2 (HSV-2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2. Most individuals have no or only minimal signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection. When signs do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender ulcers (sores) that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Typically, another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it almost always is less severe and shorter than the first outbreak. Although the infection can stay in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years."
"That doesn't sound so bad, guys. Have you ever had anything like that, Gus?"
" NO! I would have remembered that!"
The article continued: "Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have had genital HSV infection. Between the late 1970s and the early 1990s, the number of Americans with genital herpes infection increased 30 percent."
"Sounds like a lot of people have it, huh?" Dad said. And you don't hear of people dying of herpes. Lets look down further and see what else we can learn."
"HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to be broken or to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected."
"I don't like that!" said Gus. I could give it to -- someone -- and not even know it!"
"As far as I have ever heard, you have to have an open sore. This is news to me. I think we should ask Dr. Steere." Dad said. "Oh look at this!"
"Most people diagnosed with a first episode of genital herpes can expect to have several (typically four or five) outbreaks (symptomatic recurrences) within a year. Over time these recurrences usually decrease in frequency."
"Can you live with that, Gus?" Dad said brightening.
"I don't have a choice, Do I? I don't want Cole to have to `live with it'!" Gus ran down the hall. I looked at my dad through tear blurred eyes.
"Go get him, Son!"
I ran to the bedroom. The door was closed. I opened it slowly. Gus was lying face down, sobbing, on the bed. I closed the door. I walked to the bed and laid down, covering my quivering lover boy. We both cried for a few minutes, then I stroked his head and tear streaked face and said, "Gus, I'll never, NEVER leave you! If you had full out AIDS, I wouldn't leave you!"
AS I said it, my body was wracked by a deep, searing fear. I'm clean! What am I doing? I shook those thoughts from my head and willed myself to think of Gus. I hugged him closer and breathed in his ear, as I continued to stroke his face. I rolled over to his side and he turned his back into me. We spooned and retreated into the escape of sleep.
I woke up and blinked. I was still hugging Gus. I blinked again. Dad was holding us both, and rubbing my back. I focused on his face. "Time for dinner, Cole." He said gently. "You have to eat -- both of you. We'll talk to the doctor tomorrow." Gus woke up and looked at Dad too. "It's gonna be okay, boys. It really is! I read the rest of the article. You know it's a government page. I trust it more than that medicine advertisement. They want to sell their product.
"And even the Government page may be stating it worse than it is. They have to give all the possibilities. But it said that the worst complication was when a patient has AIDS at the same time. Then the body has no way of defending against the herpes.
"I've never heard of this." Said Doctor Steere, looking at the printout that dad made of the government article. "It's probably true, but I have never read or heard of anyone contracting herpes -- I or II -- from anything but an open sore. You dad is right boys. I believe the incident of what they are suggesting is so remote -- it may be no more than a possibility. I've never heard of it happening -- that someone passed herpes through the skin, not knowing there was a sore."
Dad said, "Says here that nearly a third of the young population has it. I can't imagine what would happen if a third more of the population divorced or split up -- over something like this." He looked between me and Gus. My heart beat double time and tears came into my eyes, as I thought how my dad loves my Gus!
"Gus," the doctor said, "Need I tell you? "If you feel the slightest tingle or itch -- you check it out before you have any contact at all with -- anyone. And also wash your hands any time they come into contact with anything in the genital area -- if there are any kinds of possible symptoms. Okay?"
"You know I will, Doc. I'll wash my hands any time I touch myself -- even if there are NO symptoms!"
"Good practice for anyone, Gus! You boys be careful, but don't stress over it. Okay?" He was smiling. We couldn't help smiling back. "Thanks for bringing them in, Cole." He said to my dad. "If there are any more questions, be sure you demand to speak to me. I'll call you back!"
"Thanks, Richard!" Dad said.
When we got home, mom had a wonderful dinner ready. I know that Dad told her what was going on, but she didn't say anything about it, and neither did we. After watching a DVD, we went to bed.
"Cole -- Baby -- I was so afraid I was going to lose you! No, not afraid. I was sure of it! I didn't want you to get this. I was already mourning your loss last night when you came into the room."
"No, no - - no, Babe. Don't ever talk about leaving me -- ever again. There's no way - "
"Cole, I saw the look in your eyes when I first told you, I - "
"I was in shock , Gus!"
"But what were you thinking, Cole. Tell the truth."
"I can't even remember. My mind was going wild. I was - - okay. For a couple moments, I -- well, I didn't think of splitting with you, but -- I was just so scared - scared that we would split. I wasn't worried about the stupid herpes as much as what I would do without you. I could never -- leave -- you, Gus -- NEVER!"
Two days later Dr. Steere called and talked to my dad. Dad told us what he said.
"Boys I have some news. Richard -- Doctor Steere -- for whatever reason -- gut feeling or something, resubmitted your blood for a second test, Gus, asking for an immediate result for herpes. It came back negative. He asked for a second confirmation. The lab told him that sometimes there is a counterfeit result. It just comes back wrong -- or maybe is read wrong. But on occasion it happens. Gus you don't have herpes."
We both sighed heavily and after feeling like crying from the emotions, we started to laugh. Dad interrupted us. "Boys, have you learned anything from this?"
I didn't know what Dad wanted to hear, but Gus said immediately, "No more sex with anyone else but each other!"
"Good plan, Gus. Good plan!" Dad said.
Note: This one wasn't a figment of my imagination. This just happened to my nephew and his sweetheart in the last few days! They weren't so lucky as Gus and Cole. My nephew's lover really does have the herpes II virus. They are presently dealing with all the things that Cole and Gus experienced. I was the "dad" in my nephew's experience, because his is non-existent and he's like a son to me. Remember, HIV is not the only STD to be concerned with, and a condom doesn't protect from all diseases -- such as herpes! Thanks for reading. And Love, Steve