This story will start out in a college setting, but no promises where it will go from there.
Chapter 1
Cole Alexander Stephanson IV 's name belied his station in life. He wasn't rich. And he really didn't care much about being rich, except that people thought he should be. But then people thought there was a lot about him that should be -- or shouldn't be, as the case may be. But he didn't live his life according to what most other people thought. He mostly lived it according to what his mother thought.
Cole was a junior at UCLA, fall semester. He had finished his first two years at Cerritos Jr. College, completing all the lower education he didn't get in high school, plus the English and social studies courses that he could, and get credit for them transferred to the university.
Cole lived all his life in the same city, not too far from Cerritos, Downey. He knew everyone at Downey High, about half of the people at Warren High on the other side of the city, and another bunch at Pope Pius IV Catholic High School. And they all knew him.
He felt some degree of freedom when he went to Cerritos, because there, he was not so well known. He truly didn't care about wealth, but he never quite attained the popularity he felt he wanted. He was well known, because he tried hard to be popular up until the 11th grade. But Downey was a rich city, especially the area he lived near, and to be popular, one needed to have all the trappings of the rich.
In the 12th grade, he made a conscious decision to STOP trying so hard to be popular. It was the most enjoyable year he had! All those years, he had a girlfriend. Well, actually many, but one at a time. In his senior year, he played the field, dating e different girl every week. He liked that. That felt a lot freer to him. He really loved dating, and since he was extremely handsome, getting a date was not much of a challenge.
In 11th grade, he met one girl, Edie, in his English class, when she purposely got behind in her poetry recitation so she could stay after school and recite poetry with him.
"I'm nobody, who are you? Are you nobody too? Don't tell, they'd banish us you know!" was the poem that endeared Cole to Edie.
Edie was the first girl he ever thought he'd like to take into his bed - - but that didn't happen. He broke up with her at an annual signing party, a week before school was out, five months after they started dating. She was devastated. And really, so was he. It broke his heart to hurt someone that way. He entered his senior year of high school a virgin. He wasn't all that upset about that.
In his senior year, he joined the Youth for Christ Club. Well, it was actually called YFC, because it was not legal to have a campus sponsored club with that name. but everyone knew that's what it was. Cole had one girl that he went to most of the dances with, Michelle, from 9th thru 12 grade. So when it came time for Prom, he asked Michelle. The school dances would not have been complete without Cole and Michelle doing at least one of their exhibition dances for everyone.
He also went to the Warren High prom, with Barbi, a girl he met at the Baptist church that most of the kids at YFC went to. Cole really liked the feeling he got at Downey First Baptist Church. At one of the big YFC rallies in Los Angeles in the Angeles Temple, a foursquare church, he even "went down" when the familiar invitation came from the minister for newly believing sinners to come down to the altar and confess their sins and give their life to Christ. He became a born-again Christian.
He also was accepted into the Baptist Youth Choir, at Downey First Baptist. He had a beautiful, strong singing voice and had an incredible range.
When he was strongly thinking of joining the Baptist Church, Cole's mom decided that drastic measures were called for. Cole always wanted a piano. She told him she would buy him one if he didn't join that church. It was an easy decision for him. He chose the piano!
When he thought about it more constructively, he realized that the core beliefs of the Baptists were mostly the same as the Presbyterians, where he was already a member. But the Baptists didn't drink or dance -- or weren't supposed to. The drinking thing was not a problem for Cole. He didn't like it anyway. But the dancing thing he decided he couldn't handle. He loved to dance, and a thorough search of the scriptures showed him no evidence that God didn't want him to dance. Or drink for that matter.
So Cole remained a Presbyterian. He never stopped going to the Presbyterian church. He was a staunch member of the adult choir there since he was 14 years old. Their meetings were Sunday mornings. The Baptists met on Sunday night. He did stop going there, and dropped out of the Baptist Youth choir, but kept up his activity in YFC at school. When he chose not to join the Baptist Church, Barbi dropped him like a hot potato.
Cole saw Edie now and then during their senior year at Downey High, but were not close. At graduation, she sought him out to say good bye. When she found him, he was talking to another girl that he had sought out. Graduations were an ending of sorts, but more than that, they were a beginning.
"Carolyn," Cole said, "I need to tell you something." Carolyn turned, surprised that Cole was even talking to her. They had not had a conversation since he moved into her school district in 4th grade. Cole was a very tender hearted boy and then youth, but in the 5th grade he had done something that had been a canker in his soul and a thorn in his side for all those years. "Carolyn, before we walk away, never to see each other again, I just had to apologize to you."
"Apologize? Whatever for?" She asked, her eyebrows arching high above her thick glasses.
"In 5th grade, I called you cross-eyed. That has always bothered me. It was unkind and I'm sorry." He almost choked, speaking around the huge lump in his throat.
Carolyn's eyes sparkled as she answered him, "So? I WAS cross-eyed. But you're right -- it was unkind. But do you think I remembered that? All the boys called me cross-eyed back then. Some still do! I just can't believe you carried that with you all these years. Thank you for coming and telling me that. It means more than you can know." She smiled widely, and turned from him to her friends.
Cole felt humiliated, but free of a burden that had weighed him down -- even if just a little -- for eight years. As he turned to go, there was Edie, standing in front of him, looking just a little worried, but trying to smile.
"OH!" Cole said, as he almost ran over her. "Hi!"
"Hi, Cole. Remember me?"
"I could never forget you, Edie."
Her smile widened and she nervously said, "I don't think you thought much about me this year."
"HAH! I couldn't miss you the night you almost ran me over in the parking lot after the football game! Glad you missed me there!"
"Oh! You noticed that? You walked away as if it didn't happen -- and it seemed like you didn't even see me." Her voice was trembling now, and he wondered if she was going to start crying, but her eyes were bone dry.
"Edie -- I -- must have been with friends or some - "
"It's okay, Cole. You WERE with friends. Ralph and Stefan, if I remember it right."
"You remember that?" Cole said, more emphatic than he wanted.
"I remember a lot, Cole, but that's not why I came to see you. I came to say good bye." She walked slowly toward him. He took her in his arms and looked her in the eyes. He then kissed her on the lips. His eyes closed. He was reminded of almost a year ago -- the last time their lips had met. He felt a familiar twinge in his lower parts. When he opened his eyes, she was staring dreamily into them."
"I -- er -- um -- well!" Cole said. "Thanks for coming -- to -- um -- say goodbye. I hope you have a great life -- I mean -- where are you going anyway?"
"I won't be far away. I've been accepted -- a full scholarship -- into a 3 year nursing program at County General. I will be living in a dorm there. Good bye, Cole."
"Good bye seems too long. Let's just say `farewell' for now." It came out of his mouth before he could stop it. It was what he often said to her when she said goodbye. He again pecked her on the mouth and almost ran away, turning to wave one last time, and the image of Edie standing there, still slightly open-mouthed, looking like she was in a trance embedded itself in his mind.
That night he crossed paths with her twice at the all night party at the "Wonder Bowl". The high school had bought the place out for this night. The kids at Warren got to go to Disneyland. The Downey kids soon learned how fortunate they were to all be at the Wonder Bowl. Well, at least Cole found out that his friends at Warren high hardly saw each other at all the whole night, in that huge place, with so many other schools doing the same thing.
Dave sat there, in the Wonder Bowl pool room, looking at the floor. It was nearing 3:30 in the morning. Cole never knew Dave very well, but he always wanted to. "Well," he told himself, "if not now, when?"
"Dave! You okay?" Dave looked up at Cole and shrugged. "What's going on buddy? Wanna talk?"
Dave's eyes welled up, abut somehow he kept them from running down his cheeks. He quickly looked back down. "Hey, follow me, Dave." Cole said gently. Cole had a way about him that people trusted him. This wasn't the first guy -- or girl for that matter - who had confided in him, having never really known him well.
Dave followed Cole outside. Cole could tell that Dave didn't really want to talk about it so he said, "Let's go for a ride." Dave followed Cole over to Cole's parents' station wagon and got in the front seat.
Cole drove in silence the 30 miles to Newport beach. He wondered what Dave was thinking. No words were exchanged -- at all. Deep down Cole wondered if by any chance at all Dave was feeling the same stirrings down below that Cole was feeling. It wasn't something he even verbalized in his mind. It was just a familiar feeling he got when he was alone with some guys.
When they got to the beach, it was after 4:00 AM in the morning. Even though it was southern California, it was cool this time of the morning at the beach. The sand felt cold between their toes as they got out and walked down the beach a ways. Then they got back into the car and headed home.
"Thanks for letting me just think, Cole. Most guys would have gotten nervous and jabbered the whole way. You have no idea how I appreciate you doing this for me."
They got back to the party in time for breakfast. Cole never saw Dave again -- ever. But he remembered the feeling he got. It was not all that different from the feelings he got when he was befriended by two different "tough guys" that needed compassion. He became their good friend for a short time, and a casual friend ever after with both Mickey and Gary, who both had rich parents and both ended up going to prison sometime after high school.
But Cole was reminded of the feeling he got when guys would open up to him. With Dave it was stronger than ever, and it took a bit more effort to stuff it deep inside himself where he didn't have to look at it.
Notes: Does this sound or read very familiar to some? It is very familiar indeed to the author. After this first chapter, I will veer sharply away from my personal history, but my personal experience shall be ever-present alongside my fanciful imaginings. But this first short chapter is right out of my own book of life. If you are interested to read more about "Cole's Dreams" let me know. Please write "Cole" in the subject area, so I don't toss it with the junk mail, and send it to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve
Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.