Coffee at Nine

Coffee at Nine Chapter 5

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This chapter adds more to Cooper's story.

June

"I'm involved in planning our company picnic," I said as I watched Emory stir a brown packet of Raw Sugar into his cup.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he replied, after setting down the stir stick.

"Eh. Both. Neither. The company sets aside a certain amount of money for employee interaction, team building, recreation ... that kind of thing. We usually do a summer activity and then a Christmas party. The Christmas function is staff only, but the picnic lets everybody bring their families. It's fun. The one thing you can't plan for is the weather. One year was a real downer, but we've been lucky for the most part."

"So what do you have to do?"

"It's a committee of ten people, plus the regional manager. I represent my floor."

"I'm impressed the regional manager gets involved in such fluff."

"He's very hands on. He's not at every meeting, but when we have important decisions — particularly financial — he sits in. He'll throw out ideas in the first meeting and then let us run with it. He comes in at the tail end to approve what is finally decided."

"Does he ever not approve something?"

"I don't know. This is my first year on the committee. It's actually kind of enjoyable."

"Do you bring Corey?"

"Oh yes. He loves it. Junk food, games, other kids ... he hasn't seemed to outgrow it yet. He's excited that it is coming up."

"Sounds fun."

"How was your Memorial Day weekend?"

"Good. I had dinner with some friends," he said. "Thanks to your nudging, that has kind of been rekindled. We didn't dwell on Gene too long. It ... it actually was great to see them. I'm hoping it won't be so long between visits now."

"That's fantastic. Good for you."

"Are you making headway with friends?"

"Umm. I do see Mike and Trent about every other week. We go for a run-slash-walk. But Lance was right, just doing some exercise is good. I'm running about every other day. Being outdoors is wonderful. I know a heat wave will rear its head at some point, but right now I'm digging the weather."

"Indeed. And if I might add, you looked like you've lost a couple of pounds."

"Ha. Like you can tell."

"A bit. I can."

"I think two whole pounds."

"More than I've lost."

I was skeptical that Emory could really tell; it was probably just what I was wearing. But simple words of praise were encouraging. I think Lance's advice was good; exercise was helping. For the first time in weeks, I just didn't seem stressed. I certainly wasn't sure where I was at romantically, the dating world and all the maelstrom that entails. But I felt less adrift. Simple things seem to have me involved — this committee, the new role at work, Corey, exercise. Even living alone, I felt better than I had been since the breakup. The change of season was doing me even better than spring had done. A new house was in the works. Team Cooper was coming into its own.

Emory and I made small talk about what Corey and I did over the holiday weekend. A movie at the theater, bowling and several Blu-rays. The weather one day was particularly nice, and we went to the park. For some reason, Corey had developed an interest in frisbees. It was mindless fun, but we had a great time aiming at targets. By the end of the afternoon we felt we had improved our skill level.

Brad stopped by with coffee. "How long will you gents be here today?"

We looked at each other. We gave a nebulous answer of no real time commitments.

"Doreen is making these cinnamon rolls with candied pecans and then we have a maple glaze on top. I'm just saying. They're 20 minutes away."

"Cooper said he just lost two pounds, so he deserves one," Emory said, flipping him a five.

"Well, great. Nothing like destroying my momentum," I countered.

"Oh, just run an extra mile."

Brad leaned toward me. "Truuussst me. You'll be thanking both of us shortly."

He was right. He brought us the first one out of the oven. It was too piping hot to even consider taking a bite right away. After a couple of minutes we dug in. Sheer sugarfied depravity.

Ten minutes later as he swung by our table, Brad snatched our empty plate and forks. With a snap of his face and a fierce hair flip, he just said, "You're welcome" and sauntered on. We both grinned. Brad was a hoot. I had come to like him.

"I enjoy how he looks at you," Emory said.

"Me? What do you mean?"

"He's so flirty around you."

"What? It's always both of us here. You're reading too much into that."

"You get a lot of looks, Cooper."

"I do not."

"How do you not see it?! Week after week, customers look at you as they walk through Joe."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Hmm. If they only knew. I have too much baggage for anyone to be bothered with me. I should surround myself with orange cones."

"Oh shut up, Cooper!" he sternly said after a moment's pause.

I was startled by the harshness in Emory's tone. I watched him fold his arms, looking even angrier.

"Sorry. But I have had about enough of that," he said.

"I ... I don't know what ..."

"Yes, you do!" He started mocking me: "Oh who could ever love me? I will always be alone. I'm such a mess." His brow furrowed. "I've had enough of that. The sheer notion that no one could be interested in you is ridiculous."

I was gobsmacked. I did not expect such anger from Emory.

"Gosh. I didn't realize I had put you off."

"It's not so much putting me off as it is ignoring everything in front of you."

"Like ...?"

"Like you are a gorgeous man. Anyone would be thrilled to be with you. Who doesn't have baggage? You have a divorce and a kid, someone else might have an abusive past, someone else may have lost their job. You are a kind man, a handsome man, a loving man — stop selling yourself short."

"But ... I suck at being gay. I don't know half the stuff I should. I'm nothing like you. How could anyone fall for me with all that?"

"They can. They will!"

"And how can you be so sure?!"

"Because I have!" Emory's eyes got big. He knew he said that too loud and too fast. "I have," he followed softly.

"Emory ..."

"Wait. Don't. Don't freak out. I know you can't return such feelings, and I'm an idiot for even having them. But over dinner with my friends, I realized how much I talked about you. It made me realize I had fallen for you."

"I ... I don't know what to say."

"Again, don't freak out. This will never go anywhere, nor should it. But ... use this as a wake-up call. Your inexperience, your naivety, your ... your virtual innocence — it's incredibly attractive. I was surprised by my own feelings. Our age difference is ridiculous, so the whole idea of me falling for you is just preposterous, but ... I know what I feel."

"I still don't know what to say."

"Tell me you won't freak out."

"Okay."

"I just want us to be friends. I don't want anything to upset that. You ... you were just the first person since Gene to make me actually feel something again. Even if nothing will become of it, it was just nice to have ... those types of feelings again. So don't worry. All I want is a friendship, nothing more. This will just settle in time. Like a schoolkid crush, it will pass."

He said not to freak out, but I was a little freaked out. Had I given him the wrong signals at some point? I enjoyed our time together, but I was never expecting romantic feelings — from either of us — at any point. Did this change anything? I struggled for the right thing to say.

"Um. I guess I should say I'm flattered ...?"

"Sure, whatever. I'm not expecting anything to happen between us. I never should have said that. I never intended to. But ... I wanted you to realize how wonderful you are. That's what I want you to feel. I hope you and I can still be fine. As friends."

"Sure. If ... you think we can do that. Still."

"Yes. All this will move on. It has kind of swept me up these past few weeks, but ... I know it is just passing. It's just nice to feel something again. You'll find the right person; I know I am not it. It's all good."

The rest of the morning was a bit strained, but not too uncomfortable.

"Don't overthink anything, kiddo," he said with a gentle hug when we departed. Neither of us kissed each other on the cheek.

—

It was sunny and 83. What a perfect early summer day. We had a great turnout to the company picnic.

"I'm glad that chance of rain didn't pan out," Mr. Shannon said, as he walked up to me. I was carrying a tray of hamburger buns.

"Shush, don't jinx it," I said in return.

He congratulated me on the nice turnout. I felt most people had arrived, but a few still trickled in. We had fired up the grill, and burgers and hot dogs were sizzling. The table next to the grill had all the burger condiments as well as bags and bags and bags of different chips. Another table had American standards — potato salad, coleslaw, baked beans, watermelon slices — and there were numerous ice chests with beverages of all kinds. It was everything a typical summer outing should be.

The kids were involved in all the competitions — sack races, the hundred-yard dash (by age groups), egg relays, hula hoop competitions, etc. — and the parents had a great time cheering them on. As they were winding down, the migration of participants slowly neared the food. Our company had reserved one of the park pavilions. Even though our attendance was close to 150, we all fit under one roof. It had about 20 long tables.

I had left the kids' competitions to assist with food. Corey came running up with two ribbons that he had won. I showed parental excitement for his achievements. From across the lawn, I saw Mitchell watching us. Corey happened to see him too.

"Hey. Uh. Dad? Can I show Mitchell?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah. Go ahead."

"That's okay?"

"I think he would be happy to talk with you."

I watched as Corey sailed over the grass. Mitchell saw him coming and quickly found my eyes. I gave him a simple nod. By the time Corey reached him, Mitch's arms were open, and Corey ran into them. They embraced. It was a long hug; they seemed to merge into one unmoving sculpture.

Damn.

Having not seen each other for half a year, they had a lot to catch up on. Mitch kissed the top of his head and they released. Both of them sat on the ground, sitting side by side. They began talking like old times. Seeing the two of them interact, I could feel bits of the pain drift away. Perhaps, just an iota here or there; the severity of Mitch's betrayal was reduced when I saw him with Corey. I just wanted to sit next to them and for one moment just picture us as a family again.

I sighed. I wasn't smiling. As nice as it was to see the two of them interacting, it made me wonder where to go from here. Where was here? Mitch kept saying he wanted me back; I still felt like I loved him. Could it possibly work? Every time I thought I should try, my mind flashed to that afternoon scene. Damn him for doing this to me. To us. To our family.

I noticed a couple of coworkers watching me stare at them. I figured several people wondered how I felt about ... everything.

The two of them walked to me. I was used to seeing Mitch dressed up for work again. Seeing him in shorts and a T-shirt made him significantly hotter. If we were indoors — alone — I would have those ripped from his beautiful body in seconds. They might not have even been wearable after my lust-driven impulse. Thankfully, we were outdoors — and with others.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said back.

"Corey asked if he and I could be in the piggy-back race together this afternoon. I ... wasn't sure if that would be okay. He will have to clear that with you."

I was stuck. Corey gave me those irresistible children's eyes. "I suppose that would be fine. As long as you both are committed to trounce the competition."

They smiled and nodded and then looked at each other.

"However, I am not giving up my role in the three-legged race. Corey and I are a well-oiled machine."

He agreed.

"Hey, Cor, can you run and get me something to drink. They have orange soda. Mitch, can he grab you something?"

"Any beer would be fine."

"Sorry, no kids can be in the beer chest."

"Right. Sure. Uh, how about a Dr. Pepper then."

Corey quickly walked off to get both his "dads" something to drink.

"I don't want to push any boundaries here, Cooper." Mitch looked me square in the eyes. "I want this to work the way you want. I'm ... I'm willing to make anything work."

"He misses you."

"I miss him too. I love that kid." He turned to look at Corey, then turned to me. "I love us. I love you. I sometimes think I need to move on, and then I realize I don't want to. I want us to be a family again."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel that from time to time."

Corey came back with beverages, and we shifted conversation. The first group of people lined up for burgers. We knew it would take time to get through all the people, so we were content in being in line later on.

"Hey, Corey, can you help me bring out some more veggies for the burgers? They are going to go through that tray pretty quickly."

He agreed. We waved bye to Mitch for the moment, and we walked to one of the trailers. Corey took out a tray of lettuce and I grabbed a tray of tomatoes.

"It's nice seeing Mitchell," Corey said. "I've missed him."

"I know you have."

"But how are you doing, Dad?"

That was a mature thing for my kid to ask. He was so observant.

"I'm not sure. It is nice for all of us to be together again. I hope we can all still be friends."

Corey didn't push further. If he really wanted us to get back together again, he didn't voice his opinion. I continued to help other coordinators with food. Corey ran to some other kids who were filling water balloons at a spigot. That would keep him busy until our turn to eat. There were other fathers helping tie off the balloons after the kids filled them. I noticed after a few minutes Mitchell went over to help.

"I saw you and Mitch talking. Are you okay?" Andrea asked, putting a new tub of potato salad in place.

Andrea was on Mitch's floor. I wasn't sure how detailed our breakup was with other staff members. They knew of my divorce. They knew Mitch and I had become a couple. Word got around that we broke up. Beyond that, I had no idea what talk might have spread.

"I'm fine. I guess. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine," I said blankly.

I found myself watching him more than I expected to. I figured if he came today, I would spend most of my time ignoring him. How did I think I could possibly do that? I loved him. I wanted him. I pictured my fingers feeling every inch of his skin.

Crap.

As we ate, Mitch sat with us to visit more with Corey. It was the longest the two of us had spent together since the breakup.

Mitch loaded down his hot dog with mustard and relish. Halfway through, for some reason the hot dog fell from the bun and rolled down his shirt.

"Damn!" He looked a mess. "Damn it!"

Mitch looked at Corey, then me. We had made a point to never cuss in front of Corey.

"Hey, bud, forgive me for that," he said leaning down to Corey. "I shouldn't have let anger get to me. I'm sorry, okay?"

Corey nodded. Mitch headed over to the spigot.

"It's no big deal. It's not like I've never heard it before," Corey told me.

"True. But when you see people you care about use language like that, it is easier for you to do it. Mitch and I don't want that. We like the fine young man you are."

Mitch pulled off his shirt and ran it under the spigot for a few minutes. Damn. Now he was even hotter. It was Fate's evil plan to make this even harder. Soon he returned with the shirt draped around his shoulders, his bare chest showing off the right amount of dark brown hair that I loved. It took all my strength not to touch it.

The parent/child activities were next. Mitch cheered on Corey and me. We didn't win but came in second. We got ribbons for that, but for the adult events, trophies were given out for first place.

Mitch had put his shirt back on by then, but a wet T-shirt still screamed "Take me to bed."

He and Corey were stomped in the piggy-back race. However, I think the two of them laughed the hardest, so that was the most important thing.

All adult staffers were encouraged to sign up for a tournament of some kind. There were men and women's volleyball and softball tournaments. Horseshoes and corn hole were mixed. Mitch and I were on the same softball team. Both of us in our baseball caps, we looked kind of butch, in a fish-out-of-water kind of way, particularly me. I always liked how guys looked in ballcaps. I played third base; he was shortstop. Our stronger players pitched, played first, second and center field. No one wanted to be catcher as the squatting position got old quickly, but someone finally volunteered.

As we came in from the field, Mitch put his hand on my shoulder to say, "Good catch." I never wanted him to take it off. On the bench, he moved his knee into mine. It took all my willpower not to get hard right there in front of the team. I wondered if he was feeling the same thing.

Our team won, so I would be taking home a trophy. During the adult tournaments, the kids were having a water balloon fight. It was apparently a big hit. A balloon artist and a face painter were arranged to come in and entertain the kids too. Those were suggestions from the regional manager, as were the trophies.

Finally, a new trailer pulled up and several buckets of ice cream were brought out. In no time, a build-your-own-sundae bar was a smashing success. It wasn't a day to watch your weight, not that everyone hadn't worked off a few calories in the competitions.

With the bulk of activities winding down, several families headed out. Those that stayed enjoyed visiting over leftover beer and chips. I had moved on to unsweetened tea.

"What a great day!" Mr. Shannon told the committee. We were pleased with how the day turned out ourselves.

"And we lucked out with the weather. It looks like that rain could be moving in pretty quickly," Andrea said.

The horizon did look kind of dark. That sent a few more families to their cars.

The committee and some other volunteers started gathering sports equipment and bowls. A few darted to their cars to get umbrellas, just in case. I knew we had a big one in the trunk.

It started to sprinkle a little. Mitch, Corey and I ran to get the corn hole equipment. It was the farthest game from the pavilion. As we put most of the items in the bag, the rain picked up. I opened the umbrella and the three of us huddled under it as we started walking back. A hundred yards or so away, we saw a wall of water moving our direction. The rain was about to come down in buckets. The umbrella was not going to protect us much from that deluge. We darted next to the small bathroom building. It had a small overhang but not much. Between that and the umbrella, we might be spared the worst of it if we stood on the correct side. We dropped the bag and the wooden pieces and huddled together.

It started pouring on us just as we ducked under the roof, or as much roof as it could offer. I stood in the middle holding the umbrella. Corey stood in front of me. Mitch was just behind my right hip. We were feeling a little spray blown onto our legs but were surviving for the most part. We started laughing and had the giggles for several minutes.

When we stopped, we tried to catch our breath with big smiles on our face. Then I concentrated on Mitch's breath right at my ear. I could tell he moved closer. I could feel him breathing on my neck. Suddenly, I felt incredibly close to him. Our proximity was top of mind. We stood there breathing deeply, mine starting to sound a little nervous. I thought I felt his hands thread my belt loops. A few seconds later, he was pulling me ever so slowly toward him. He was directly behind me. He pulled my butt into his crotch. His intention was for me to feel the firm erection concealed in his shorts. He pulled me tighter, and the solid flesh was unmistakable. It was like a branch.

"It's really coming down," Corey said.

"Yeah, but look in the distance. I think it should pass over in about five minutes, ten at the most. We can wait it out."

Five minutes. No one could see us. Even if they could, the rain was too dense.

I reached around me with my other hand and used a finger to rub up and down the bulge pressing into me. I felt Mitch's hands reach around my chest. I took a big swallow when he held me. If Corey hadn't been standing in front of me, I would have been making out with Mitch.

My hand gripped the entire length of his cock. I could feel its contour even with the shorts he had on.

It was the first time Mitch had stayed over at my apartment. I had spent the night at his place once. Most of our affection took place at the office. I was on my own now. Natalie had the house. Mitch had actually helped me move into this apartment.

Sex had been pretty much oral up to this point. And I loved it. I had let Mitch come in my mouth once. I didn't care. I loved having his beautiful dick in my mouth. I thought about it all the time.

He had moved me to my stomach. I felt him lower himself on me. I groaned as his full weight was placed on top of my body.

"Ohhh, Mitch," I moaned.

He whispered, "shhhh" in my ear. Then he nibbled on it.

His cock was placed right between my ass cheeks. He slowly moved it up and down the crack. My skin felt the entire length and contour of his hard-on.

It was gentle, but I started to rub his dick up and down. His hands gripped my pecs in approval. Thank goodness no coworkers could see us. I knew I had too much of a bulge showing in my own shorts.

"I think it's letting up," Corey said.

"Yep. We can probably make a run for the pavilion in another minute.

I let go of Mitch's masculine body. I tried to rearrange my own crotch before we made a run for it. Two minutes later, the rain was still there but lighter. We worked like a trio in a sports competition to move under the umbrella in one cohesive huddle. We got the giggles again. People applauded when we got back to the pavilion. Corey took a bow once we were under cover to more hoots and hollers.

Fifteen minutes later everything was put away and accounted for.

"Well, good job everyone," I said. "I think it turned out great. However, I'm overdue for getting Corey back to Natalie, and I have to stop by my place first. I will see you all in the morning."

Mitch walked with us to the car. He gave Corey a huge hug.

"It was great to see you, Champ."

"For me too," Corey said back. "I hope to see you again, Mitchell."

"We'll see."

Mitch looked at me and gave me a hug. "I enjoyed today."

"I did too," I admitted.

Corey was getting in the car. As soon as the door slammed, Mitch planted a sloppy kiss on my lips. It was everything I had missed. And then he pulled away from my lips.

"Can we talk some more soon? Please?"

I didn't respond. I simply got in the car. I was fearing questions from Corey asking if Mitch and I were getting back together. I had no idea how I would approach them. Thankfully, they didn't come. Corey just talked about his favorite parts of the day. Then he said the same things to Natalie when I dropped him off. She could tell it had been a great day.

—

I stopped by the trailer drop off and picked up some of the leftover beverages. The beers were the most sought-after leftovers, but I was content with some bottled teas and a few sodas. Somehow there was a bag of chips leftover, much to my surprise. I took it. Manuel offered to store the leftover side dishes and bring them into the office tomorrow. He'd send out a building-wide email that leftovers were in the main kitchen on the first floor.

I pulled into my apartment complex just as the sun was setting. Twilight had just a bit of purple tinting the horizon. I grabbed the box from my car trunk. I was exhausted. When I slammed the trunk lid closed, I heard another slam — a car door.

Mitch walked up. "Need a hand?"

Startled, I almost jumped. "Mitch, what are you doing here?"

"I was hoping we still had some things to say."

"How did you even know where I lived?"

"Well, it wouldn't have been too difficult to find out through the office, but I followed you home when you stopped in to pick up Corey's things."

"Eek. That sounds a bit stalker-y."

"Not really. I ... I loved today. I think we should talk."

My sigh was a sign of agreement. "Grab the chips please."

I looked around the house. Because of the picnic today, we weren't in the place as much. I had cleaned for Corey, so it was in pretty good shape. I lit a candle just to add some freshness to the living room.

"I have tea, Mountain Dew or Sprite," I offered.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

After simple items were put away, Mitch was standing a few feet from me. Our eyes locked. It is said they are the windows to the soul. What was he seeing in mine? Was it that I missed him and having felt his touch today was magical? Was it that I wanted to forgive him, but I couldn't get some strange man's flopping dick out of my mind? Was it that more than anything else in the world I wanted to press his lips to mine?

The quietness was deafening. I grabbed his short sleeves and pulled him to me. He put his arms around me, and I then did the same, just after I placed my mouth on his. Our kiss went on for minutes, hours, weeks. Eons. I came up for breath.

"Right now, I just want us to touch each other. I wanted to feel your body all day."

"Me too," he answered.

"At the same time, I'm a mess. Between sweat, dirt and coleslaw, I'm sure I smell pretty wonderful."

"I would have to assume your apartment comes with a shower."

"Luckily, it does."

With each step we pulled off an article of clothing. I entered the bathroom and started the shower running. I grabbed two towels and hung them nearby.

I stepped in and reached out my hand. He took it, and I pulled him in. The hot water was glorious — cleansing, relaxing, therapeutic. We kissed. Our hands danced over each other's body. The slickness of our wet frames let our touch slide wherever it longed to go. After our kiss broke, I placed my lips on his neck.

"You feel so good," I panted.

"So do you," he returned. "I want you. I need your body next to mine."

We held each other in the warm spray. Our arms completely surrounded us like the beginnings of a cocoon. The hardness at our hips was pressed into the other's crotch. Each of us placed our head on the shoulder of our willing slow-dance partner.

I reached for shower gel. One body part at a time received my attention. By the time I lathered up his crotch, his dick was harder than I remembered. Mitchell's cock was certainly longer than mine; not seven inches but more than six. It was smooth and beautiful and had a perfectly shaped head. And at this moment, it was mine. I groped it in suds. It felt like the most incredible thing I had held in my life. His bush framed it in the most masculine way. I rinsed it, then started working on his gorgeous legs. As I slid the soap up and down, my mouth found his cock, and I engulfed his rod like a starving child finding food.

Once I knew he was clean, I stood to kiss him again.

My turn.

Mitch buried his face into my armpit. I hadn't really washed up yet, so I wasn't sure what he was experiencing, but his tongue roamed through the hair of my underarm. Then my neck. Then my nipples. Then my unwashed but wet cock.

After cleaning me with his firm hands, he held our two erections together, stroking as we kissed.

I turned off the water. We stepped out to dry off. We analyzed each other's body in the mirror as towels roamed our saturated skin. I turned my back to him, and he finished drying me. I returned the favor.

Sex was a certainty, but I led us to the living room first. The candle had the room filled with Country Pear. I ducked into the bedroom and returned wearing a robe with another for him in my hand.

"I remember these," he said. He put it on. "Do we need them?"

"For a little bit."

I grabbed a bottled tea. He turned down a beverage again. We sat on the couch. Mitch's robe draped open to where I could see his penis. His beautiful penis. His beautiful penis and his fuzzy balls. They momentarily distracted me.

My phone buzzed with a text.

"Thanks for taking me today. I had fun," Corey texted.

"Me too. I'm glad we can share times like those. I love you. Now you should be in bed. You have school tomorrow."

He texted back an eye roll emoji, followed by a laughing one. "We have three whole days left. It's not like we are doing anything important."

That was followed by a heart. I smiled.

"Thanks for allowing Corey to see me today. That ... that was worth a million dollars," Mitch said.

"He loves you. You were like a second father."

"He doesn't hold my mistake against me?"

"I just said I was hurt; I didn't give him the gritty details."

We were quiet a moment. I looked at him. I wanted him like crazy. But tiny fragments of my brain still held me in check.

"I'm not sure how to move forward, Mitch."

"How about slowly?"

"Right. I admit that having you in my arms — and my mouth — was wonderful. But ... I don't know. I'm not sure if I can get past ... you know, that."

"Why don't we look forward and not look back? Just for now. How about just tonight, let's just be you and me."

"Right now ... this ... us ... I like it. I missed it."

His cock was moving. I could see it reaching upward in pumped pulses. I took a drink of tea to disguise my glance.

"I want us to work, Cooper. I want us to be ... well, us. I haven't stopped loving you."

He was fully erect. It poked out of the robe. My dick was on its way.

"I still have feelings for you too. You brought me out of the closet. You showed me how to exist as a gay man. That was important. It is important. But I have some harsh feelings mixed in there too."

Mitchell moved closer to me.

"How about we put those aside tonight?" he said, reaching for my hard-on. His fingers on it felt so good. "Let's just feel tonight for what it is — how good we are together."

He kissed me deeply. The kiss was long and passionate. The aroma of country pears and flickering candlelight made it even more sensual. His grip on my cock had me breathing heavier. I slightly moaned as I leaned in for another kiss. My hand left his shoulder and reached down to his waist, pulling the robe completely open.

I leaned down and took his organ in my mouth. He breathed a deep sigh of contentment. I was slow and methodical, sucking on his hard flesh up and down the shaft. Until today, it had been close to half a year since I had Mitch's cock in my mouth. Experiencing the taste of his skin, I couldn't believe I had gone that long without him in this way. I softly moaned into his phallus.

Mitch slid the robe off my shoulders. It draped wide open and slid off me except for it being held on by my elbows. I stood and shrugged it off. I reached for my tea and then used my other hand to reach for his hand.

"Let's move to the bedroom."

He got up, letting the robe slip from his body. The two articles of clothing rested on the couch as if two persons within them had just suddenly vanished.

As I set my tea down on the nightstand, Mitchell pulled back the covers. Instinctively, we knew our "sides" of the bed.

I lied down and he turned opposite me, moving into a face-to-crotch position for both of us. With no words, we both took each other's anatomy into our mouths in lustful passion. My mind scrambled to sort through the sensations. What was more pleasurable, my mouth around his cock or my cock in his mouth? How had I gone without sex for six months?? Even Natalie and I had never done that.

We devoured flesh as our hands roamed and groped and touched and felt and gripped and rubbed and fondled. I loved his body. It had every masculine trait that turned me on — just enough hair, just enough muscle, a cock with just enough length and girth, a face that made my inhibitions just dissolve.

Mitch took his mouth from my hard-on and turned around his body to parallel mine. He kissed me. We did that for several minutes. He finally panted a request.

"I want you inside me."

"I want you inside me," Mitch said.

We had been sleeping together for two months. My sexual satisfaction had been met with his touch and oral skills. I had reciprocated likewise. Mitch had not pressured me into homosexual intercourse. He knew of my hesitation. A lot of reasons held me back: fear, sanitary, scriptural.

He opened his nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube. It worried me. Would I do this right? Would I like it? Would he like it? Would I do a good job? How messy was it?

"Mitch. You know. You know I've never done this."

"I know. It will be okay. We'll be slow."

He spread a towel and lied on his stomach. He coached me through simple steps. He instructed me to prepare his ass with my fingers. At first, the idea repulsed me. Then he enjoyed it so much, it excited me. I was surprised that the lube had a fragrance. Strawberry. Minutes later I dripped lubricant on my stiff rod. My hands coated my cock with the slippery liquid. It felt cool at first. Mitch told me to enter slowly. I wasn't sure if that was for my sake or his. It was new.

"I'm scared," I whispered.

"Don't be," he whispered back. "It's all okay."

The head of my cock went in. He jumped slightly. I slowly slid in. He buried his face in the pillow.

"Are you okay?"

Seconds later he nodded, his face still stuffed into the pillow. Then he turned his head to the side and exhaled. I felt all tension leave his body.

I started sliding my cock in and out.

"Ohhh, Mitch. This feels so good. I like being in you."

"Yeah. Shhh."

I locked my arms under his and panted into his ear as I fucked him.

"I guess you still have lube?" he said, before going into the bathroom to grab a towel.

I pulled it from my nightstand. I hadn't used it in months, but I had some.

Mitch reclined on the towel and spread his legs for me. Like the fifty times I had done before, I let my fingers ready his hole for the arrival of my shaft. I loved watching his face express the pleasure of being fingered by me. I coated my cock. Positioning myself at his entrance, I entered him. It was slow at first, but within seconds I had pushed all the way in. It was a magnificent sensation I hadn't felt since December.

"Oh! Yeahhh!!" I called out.

"Shhhh," he quietly said to me.

I leaned down to kiss him. Our lips melded into one unit as our bodies were joined at our waists. I took my lips off his and placed my head to the side of his neck. We breathed into each other's ear. Our breathing got heavy; I was panting. His hands roamed around my back. I felt his legs interlock with mine. My crotch was thrusting into his hole. It was magically electrifying. I had missed this; I had longed to feel this again — this intimacy, this bonding, this masculine euphoria.

I remembered coming in about two minutes the first time I did this. In the two years we had fucked, I had become a better lover. Mitch just welcomed my cock for several minutes, but then reached down to his own. He pulled and jerked to make it fully hard again. Quietly we gasped and panted; the softest of moans conveyed enormous pleasure.

I removed my cock from his hole and rolled him to his side. I moved up behind him and let my cock explore his crack until it found the passage once again. I shoved deep into him. He gasped and then cooed approval. My hand reached around his body to find his hard-on. I pushed and shoved from behind and jerked and pulled from the front. The pleasure for me was extraordinary, for him it had to be off the charts.

Even after us being apart for months, I hadn't forgotten all the messages his body sent. Four minutes into this position his breathing and body language forecast his upcoming climax. I jerked harder.
"Ohhh," he called out as his cock shot its first portion of cum. I yanked harder and could feel it pulse. He was unloading a pent-up supply. A few droplets managed to drip on my fingers. That made me pull harder just to make sure I let him release everything.

Mitch went limp.

I let go and rolled him onto his stomach. I pierced his body from above. As I laid my arms alongside his and pressed my chest to his back, I panted into his ear again. My thrusting was vigorous. I had been close before, but my pounding rhythm would finish the job in quick fashion. My cock rammed Mitchell and gyrated in his hole. It sawed through his body with a heated friction. My senses were savoring every vibrating flash of stimulation. I had wanted this. I had wanted to feel this again. I deeply inhaled. I was there.

"I'm coming," I whispered into his ear as the weight of my body was squeezed between my chest and his back. My thrusting cock unloaded wave after wave of my cum deep inside him. As I pushed as deep as I could in him, I moaned with my forehead pressed into his neck. Even after my balls had been emptied, I continued fucking him. I pushed and pushed and pushed.

Then I exhaled. My body crushed its skin cells into his. We were laminated with our sweat. I kept my dick deep inside him, even though it started to return to its normal state.

Finally, I rolled off him. We needed cleaning, but we didn't move. He reached for my hand. Our fingers interlocked and we gripped tightly.

"We're so good together," he said. I smiled in response.

Minutes later, Mitchell tossed the wet washcloth he had procured from the bathroom back to the tile floor. Our bodies were clean, but his first shot of cum had fired beyond the towel. I would need to do the sheets tomorrow. Mitch didn't shoot far usually. That must have been intense.

I lay there looking at the ceiling. I had loved every second of our lovemaking. Every fucking second. But now that it was over, I got glimpses of some strange man with my partner's dick up his ass. His flopping cock commanded my attention, even though I only saw it for seconds.

And I was back to square one.

"So what now?" I asked.

"Meaning ... this second? Or this week?"

"Choose one."

"I ... I can go. Or if you want, I can stay. Just in case, I packed a bag for overnight. How do you feel?"

"I have no idea."

"I liked it. Did you?"

"Oh, well yeah. I loved that. I needed that. But ..." I turned and rolled toward Mitch. "As good as we are, how long until you want something different?"

"No. I never wanted someone other than you. I loved you. I still love you."

"And yet you screwed another man. Something about us doesn't work for you, Mitch."

"No. That's not it. I – I – I was ... he was just a mistake."

"I know why you did it."

"It was a mistake, Cooper! I hate myself for doing that to you — to us! I've replayed it a thousand times in my head and ..."

"Me too."

"And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry ..." Mitch said before starting to cry. He cried for several minutes. I turned out the light and held him in my arms. "I love you," he softly whimpered. I held him several minutes until he fell asleep.

He was out cold, safe in my arms. "I love you, too," I whispered to the silent darkness.

—

Mitchell was up first. He sat at the side of the bed. I could feel it. His presence made me open my eyes.

"Morning," he said, kissing me on the cheek. "I've got coffee on. Between hot sex and bed head, I figured we would both be showering this morning. I just didn't know if you'd prefer to do that alone ... or with company."

I smiled at him. "We have a whole work week ahead. A little company might be helpful. But ... we can't spend too much time. I have a meeting promptly at 9 and need to get things prepared."

"Fine," he said standing up. I saw that he had the robe back on with nothing else.

Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I stood up and stretched. Mitch watched me from the doorway. I didn't have morning wood, but I liked how my cock looked a little bit longer in the waking hours.

"Let me get coffee first," I said.

"I remember."

I walked into the kitchen naked. I grabbed a mug from the cabinet. As I did so, I felt arms wrap around me from behind and lips placed upon the back of my neck. I reached around me to see if Mitch was hard. To my surprise, he was not. For some reason, that made me appreciate the affection just slightly more.

My comfort level being naked before him had not changed. That fell back into place immediately. While I poured myself a cup of coffee, he grabbed a box of cereal from the cabinet. After pouring milk on the cereal in the bowl, he sat down next to me at the kitchen table.

We made minor chitchat about my meeting. While I had received a nice promotion, he too had gotten a bonus. For two handsome gents sitting around, with one completely naked, it was slightly humorous to hear us talking about work. Our job situation was good.

Minutes later, I ran my fingers through his lathered hair.

"They have poured the foundation of my new house."

"Oh." Mitch got quiet. "I ..." He paused again. "I thought if maybe we could work things out, then maybe you ... and I ..."

"I want my own place, Mitch. Corey needs his own room. I want a nice big office, a guest room. I'm in a position that I can do this right."

"I see," he said, with water pouring over his face, rinsing his hair.

My fingers rubbed body gel into the hair on his chest. I massaged it in working my way down the treasure trail to his pubic hair. I loved lathering up his crotch. He did too apparently by the evidence. I fondled his balls with suds and ran my hands down his legs to soap them up. Touching him made me exquisitely happy. After turning him around, I lathered his back.

"Even if you and I work our way through ... this ... that doesn't mean you couldn't live there. But that is waaaay too far away. I'm not living my life through a bunch of ifs, Mitch. I'm doing what I think is best for me."

"I get it," he said.

My fingers ran soap into his ass crack. I massaged his hole and groped his adorable buns. I reached around and felt that he still had an erection. I kissed him on the back of the neck as I started pumping his cock from behind. He moaned slightly. My own erection started pressing up against his buttocks. He reached back to my hips to pull me in tighter. My cock jutted vertically within his ass crack. I pumped his cock even harder.

"I love your body, Mitch," I said.

He moaned a little louder.

"Same here."

I jerked his cock faster. He squeezed me tighter. I had gone well past playful. I was determined to bring my lover off before we got out of the shower.

I nibbled his ear as I pumped him with fierce vigor. My other hand gripped his pec tightly and ran fingers through his chest hair.

I wriggled my fingers in a pulsating rhythm on his wet cock. I heard his groan start low until it built just audible enough to let me know he was reaching orgasm.

"Come for your man," I softly said. I couldn't see it, but by the way his hips were thrusting, I knew he was leaking cum all on the shower floor. I held him tightly as he went weak.

He turned around and locked his lips to mine. Our kiss said both "thank you" and "you're welcome."

"Okay, get out of here, or we're going to be really late," I smiled.

"Aw. That's not fair to you."

"Trust me, I enjoyed that more than you did."

He smiled and stepped outside the shower. I questioned what I had said; was I his man?

When I finished and was drying off, Mitch was fully dressed except for his jacket and tie. He watched me from the bedroom as I shaved. Naked. He watched me as I brushed my teeth. Naked. Before I could make it to my dresser, he kissed me. Naked. His tongue went down my throat.

"Thanks for letting me stay. I love you. I want to prove that to you."

—

Seeing the company email thanking the committee for a great day yesterday was a simple uplift. I think the others appreciated it too. Then Mitch sent one.

To: Cooper Snow
From: Mitchell Sanders

Thank you for all the fun this weekend. I appreciated all the efforts you went to. I had in incredible time.

Well, that had a double meaning, but safe enough for company email.

Mitch called my office. "Just wanted to say how happy I am with the time we spent together. I'm not sure where we go from here."

"I'm not exactly sure myself. Let me think on things. I don't want to rush back into something." I took a deep breath. "Mitch, I'm not sure all the wounds have healed. I mean, I love you, and I wonder if I always will, but ... I still don't know if that's enough. Even after six months, I feel the cut is just now barely scabbed over. Give me some time. I'll be thinking about you."

I hung up.

Of course I would be thinking about him. After last night, who wouldn't? I now wondered if the previous night was a mistake. But even if it was, I loved every minute of it. And that was part of the problem.

—

My coffee was straight black. I sat down across from Emory.

"I wasn't quite sure I would see you today."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"After what I said last time, I thought I may have scared you off."

"I'm not the ghosting type," I said with a smile. "I'm trying to be flattered by it. As long as I am not sending you some kind of mixed signals. You've become a good friend, and I appreciate you. As long as you can handle it from your end..."

"...and I can."

"I think we'll be good." I pulled the lid off my cup. "I have lots of news."

"Do tell."

I showed him the foundation of my house on my cell phone. "The framework should start later this week. I think the plumbing is all in place. I haven't seen it in a few days."

"This is proceeding fast. Perhaps you will invite me to dinner sometime once it is finished."

"Sure. In other news, Mitch and I slept together."

"And you led with the HOUSE??!!"

I smiled. "I hope it's not hard to hear this."

"Why, because I have some stupid, misplaced feelings for you? I'm far from jealous." He waved away such thoughts with a swish of his hand. "I'm happy for you." He paused. "Unless I shouldn't be. Are you happy about it? Is something wrong?"

"No. No. It went okay. I guess. Actually, it went great. We spent time together at the picnic. The three of us. It was like being a family again. I just loved it. He came over afterward and ..."

"And you fucked like crazy."

"I'm not sure if crazy is the word, but ... yeah, good sex."

"But ...??"

"But is love enough? I know, I know. You can't answer that. I know I love him. But will that love erase the pain of him cheating on me? I just don't know, Emory. But being in his arms was just ... intoxicating."

"Says the alcoholic."

"Are you implying I have some dependance on Mitch?"

"No, not at all. It doesn't matter what I think about anything. I just want you to decide what is best for you. That's all."

"Hmm. And what is that?" I said, but rhetorically. I wasn't expecting an answer.

"So, are there plans to see him again? You know, outside of work."

"Not yet. I certainly don't want to draw Corey into all the drama. He handled the activities okay last week, but I'm not ready to bring him into a living situation with Mitch. No overnights. I can't keep throwing curveballs at my kid."

"Agreed. Smart."

"I'll see how I feel after another week."

—

I didn't last a day. Mitch said he owed me from the shower. I received a blow job in my office at 5:30 the next day. We kissed a while. I felt like I was starting over. We were dating.

—

"Hi, I'm Cooper. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Cooper," the group replied.

"My life has really changed. Again. Still. I don't know. I got a promotion at work, which is good, but I expect to carry additional workload soon. But I just bought a house. That's great, but also scary. My old partner cheated on me half a year ago, and now we are seeing each other again. A little. I don't know if that's good or bad. My son continues to be great; he's awesome. I am terrified that he will turn into every other teenager and won't have any use for his dad. That scares me the most. He's my rock.

"All this is happening to me right now. It's just life, I guess. Everyone has stuff. That's my stuff. I felt like I had just gotten rid of my stress, but I've replaced it with anxiety; I'm kind of fearful of the unknown.

"Three years ago I would just pour myself another drink to calm me down. That and to forget I was gay. Which I am. Despite that wrecking my marriage, I'm getting along better with my wife now. That's good.

"I haven't had a drink in about 18 months. I'm proud of that. Usually I have no problem resisting. I just picture Corey and what I put him through and that keeps me grounded. I just see all these other things happening in my life and ... and I have moments where I don't feel grounded. I only get Corey every other weekend. Occasionally my brain tells me that just one drink would be a good idea. You know and I know that we don't just have one drink.

"I guess now I just get to balance the good and exciting news with all the scary stuff. I'm worried trying to fix things with my old boyfriend might be a grenade ready to go off. As much as I love him, I'm not sure if he and I can make it. But I have missed him so much, so ... wish me luck in figuring all that out.

"I appreciate you being here. I'm sort of all over the place right now. Thanks for listening."

The group clapped.

—

"Hi, Nat. It's me."

"Hi Cooper. Is anything wrong?"

"No. I just felt like calling. Am I interrupting anything?"

"No. But I just saw you Sunday when you dropped off Corey. You sure nothing's wrong?"

"I'm fine. I actually just wanted to hear your voice."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or suspicious."

I chuckled.

"Corey seemed excited about the house," she said. "He talked about it for a while."

"Good. Good. Yeah. I think I'm going to enjoy watching it go up."

"It's really something that you can build it exactly the way you want it."

"Yeah. Yeah." I paused. "Are you still liking our house, well, your house?"

"Sure. I've always liked this place."

"Remember when we picked it out?"

"Oh yes. In some ways, we seemed like kids. It was ages ago. In other ways, it seems like yesterday."

"It was a good time."

"Cooper, you either want to tell me something or ask me something."

"Oh. I don't know. I'm feeling like you are a ... sense of calm. I really miss you sometimes, Nat."

"Well. Thanks. That's sweet. I have some good memories of us too. We had some great years."

"And some where I totally sucked."

"Yeah. I'm sure I wasn't the perfect wife either."

"We grew apart. And then ... the whole gay thing. That's there."

"Hm."

"Natalie, how did you ever forgive me?"

She was quiet.

"Time. It took time. I was angry of course. In the beginning. I felt so ... tricked, deceived. I think I heard others maybe say snarky or bad things about you. At one point, I think I wanted to defend you. I knew it was all hard for you. In some ways, I pictured how scared you must have been. Probably for a long time. I think with that understanding, I tried to put myself in your shoes. Just for a minute. That helped. I knew there was no point in being angry. You are the father of my son. It just seemed to make sense to have you as a friend rather than as adversary."

"You're a good woman."

"And you are a kind man. So ... who do you want to forgive? Mitch?"

"I wish I could. I can't. He wants me back. He says he loves me. I think deep down I still love him. I – I – I can't just let it go. I think because I walked in on him cheating on me, the picture is just ... THERE. I can't let it go."

"If it's always going to be there, then you need to move on. Both of you will be better off that way. But if you can get past it, I know you two did love each other."

"I seem fixated. I'm not sure I can forget."

"Think on it. Pray on it." Natalie paused for a moment. "Do you still believe in God?"

"I do. The universe doesn't seem to make sense without Him." I felt a tear form in my eye, and I wiped it away. "I'm just not sure He believes in me."

"Don't say that. He loves everybody. He cares. Cooper, I care."

"Thanks. I wish you could find the right man to appreciate you and love you how you deserve."

"Okay, let's not play matchmaker, Cooper. I'm okay with where I am now. But. If that person were to come along, I think I could open my heart to new love."

"You deserve it, Nat. I love you. Thanks for letting me talk."

"Good night, Cooper."

* * * *

I have decided to do a new blog post. Go to timothylane414stories.blogspot.com Look for "Mitch."

Thank you for your feedback and support. I enjoy hearing from you.