CockSucker Diary: 0 - Prelude
I never knew my dad, but I didn't realize it until I was probably five or six. Before then, I lived with my grandparents. When it was time to start school, it was time to ship me back to my mother.
It was then that I realized how much of a bastard kid I really was. Because I did not come from my step-dad's loin and they already had a baby together, I was the extra obligation that my mother now had to attend to. Years later, I realized how much my step-dad despised me. I don't blame him, but he could have handled it better.
I didn't choose my life situation and for the most part, it has caused many deficiencies and problems that nobody should experience. Some are my fault, while others, still my fault, came from innocent ignorance and reckless desire.
My way of gaining a few minutes of fatherly interaction I discovered by happenstance and from that moment, it has been my primary interaction.
You see men are cursed with unrelenting hardons. Some have accommodating spouses who will fuck them whenever they want it. Others pray it away via cold showers or men's groups. Another group masturbates in private away from their spouses, as if to not diminish their sexless marriages. Then there are those that know someone in the world will service their needs. These are my dads and I'm their cocksucker.
Was there more than just cocksucking? Sure! I've been fucked really good by a few that made me wish I had a pussy. I've also wanted others so bad, it hurt when they left. A few will never come back and some have passed onto the life beyond where they are sexing with their fantasies.
This is my diary of men I've sucked and of some I wish I had. You, the reader, will not know the difference. I will start with my science teacher and chronologically work my way to the present day. If I go into detail, it will be because of the desire to please a dad for the sake of feeling loved. If only for a moment.
I was able to do this until I got into my mid-30s and then I got too old to be a boy. That's when my pursuits became problematic because I still wanted to be loved, but my hair was graying. However, the desire and mind does not age.
Like all outlets, writing is the fantasy that can sometimes be better than fiction.
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