Cockatoo

Cockatoo Part 3

I live for feedback nikkie.silk@outlook.com

I took another swig of beer and tried to look innocent.

Alex looked at me for a few seconds as if making up her mind about something, took my hand and pulled me up, `James, I always thought you were a perfect gentleman, come on I think we should go eat.'

The strange thing was she didn't let go of my hand as we walked out of the bar.

We walked slowly back to Koh Samui Blue, the action had really kicked off now and the bars were full and spilling over into the street. As we walked past each bar front, the girls nodded and smiled to Alex who was obviously well known to them. I was given a few long looks by them as well. I heard this dark voice in my head saying You're holding hands with a man' and then there was this second, much lighter voice saying Look at her, she's a beautiful woman, that's who you're holding hands with'

I decided to keep holding her hand.

Alex giggled and said, `I can't imagine how you felt when Pao jumped onto your lap. The look on your face was priceless.'

`I don't think I have felt more embarrassed in my life. I never expected to see her again in my life.'

I felt myself blushing again. Damn it, I wish I could stop myself doing that so much.

Alex grinned as she spoke, `They say an Englishman is a man in permanent fear of embarrassment.'

I smiled at that, `By the way, Alex, the look on your face was pretty good too when you saw what was happening. You looked gobsmacked.' I had to get my own back somehow.

`I couldn't believe my eyes when one of my kathoeys jumps onto the lap of my lovely gentleman and greets him like a long lost friend.'

My lovely gentleman, that was nice to hear her say.

`I was about to bust the cue over one of your heads. I just couldn't decide which one.' She was laughing now, and it started me off too.

Alex, I'm glad you didn't. Believe me; you are too damned good with that cue.'

She tuned to face me, grabbed my other hand too and pulled me in for another kiss on the cheek.

`I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't want to mess up that handsome face of yours.' She was smiling as she said it and her eyes didn't leave mine. Oh my, what was happening here? Was it just the beer talking? Because at that moment I wanted to kiss her so very badly.

Instead I coughed and said, `Any chance we could eat something? I'm starving.'

`Of course,' she grinned and we walked into the restaurant, still holding hands.

Areeya was dealing with something at the bar so Alex said we should go ahead and order and Areeya would join us later.

It was getting late at the restaurant but there were still some diners finishing their meals. As a good hostess, Alex left me with a scotch at the bar, and did a tour of the tables. She would wai to each table and then ask if the guests had enjoyed their meals. She spoke English mostly, but to a couple of tables with locals she switched into fluent Thai. I had learned to love the sound of the Thai language; its rhythms are almost musical to listen to when spoken well. It gave me a chance to watch her as she moved about the restaurant. Alex would occasionally glance back at me as she worked the room, giving me a little smile when she caught me watching. She had class and charisma to go with her stunning looks. You could see her charming the diners, as she always seemed to be interested in what they had to say. She did look fabulous, her red dress set off her blonde hair and skin tone perfectly. She moved gracefully among the tables and more than one male diner and a couple of the women gave her an appreciative look.

I couldn't take my eyes off her.

It also gave me time to think. What had started off as a visit to an acquaintance from my university for some rest and relaxation had become an almost surreal experience. I had discovered that my old house mate had made a journey that few would ever believe possible if they had not seen the evidence. She had become a beautiful woman full of grace and poise and humour. She had done and seen things about which some dream and some have nightmares. She had found her path and had found the courage to follow that through thick and thin. True, if what she told me was right, she also had a cock.

But I think I'm falling in love with her.

Don't you dare drop the L bomb you moron said the dark voice in my head and the other voice just said `Just go for it, it's what you want.'

By the time she had finished her tour of the tables the last of the diners were leaving, so by the time we sat down we had the place to ourselves. The restaurant was behind the bar on the beach side. There was a veranda that looked out over the sea and we sat at one of the tables there. Alex chose one which had a bench seat so that we could both look out over the sea. It was a beautiful evening; the sea was just visible in the lights from the restaurant and the sound of the surf acted as a backdrop to our conversation. An overhead fan kept some air moving over the veranda and the heat of the day was beginning to cool off a little. There were candles flickering on the table for light and it was about as romantic setting as you could wish for.

Alex asked me if I had any preferences for food and I told her I would trust her judgement as there wasn't anyone better to know what was good on the menu. She fired off our order to the waitress and asked me what I wanted to drink. I decided to stick with beer and Alex joined me with one. As we sat and listened to the noise of the surf, it seemed that time was slowing down. It had been frantic since I had got here those few hours ago, and this was the first time I was able to catch a breath. I think we were both happy to sit there with our own thoughts for a while.

The beers arrived soon followed by the food. I have grown to love Thai food and this dinner was some of the best cooking I had eaten in Thailand. I told Alex this and she was pleased, she had wanted to impress me with what they could do here. As the meal progressed we talked about the business she and Areeya had created here and it was obvious she was so proud of what they had achieved. Koh Samui Blue and Cockatoo 2 were thriving ventures and Alex confirmed the new business she had talked about earlier was going to be a significant move for them. She didn't want to say too much until it was totally definite.

We also talked about my job and what my plans were for when my role was finished in Bangkok. I told Alex that it looked as if I might be needed for a further three months in Bangkok after the initial six months, but that I had not decided what I wanted to do after that. I didn't have any great desire to go back to the UK but hat it seemed to be the most likely option for me. I told her that even if I didn't want to go back to the UK it would be difficult for me to get a job somewhere else. That surprised her and she said that with my qualifications and experience surely I would be able to get a job anywhere. I told her that in my field it's not what you know but who you know that makes the difference. Without a network of contacts it's much more difficult to move internationally.

As I said this she took my hand, turned it palm up and held it in one hand. She looked closely at it and then gently ran a fingernail across my palm. I shivered involuntarily as she did so. Alex looked thoughtful as she continued to stroke my palm. She said softly as if to herself, `My grandmother said that when someone shivered like that they had a secret wish they were hiding. She read palms, my granny. They probably would have burnt her as a witch a couple of hundred years ago.'

She turned towards me, `James, do you have a secret wish? Granny said that if you didn't tell someone then it would never come true.' She still had hold of my hand with one hand and pushed her other hand back through her hair. That gesture gets me every time, Makes a woman look vulnerable and really kick-starts my protective instinct.

`If you told someone, then it wouldn't be a secret wish, would it?' I said straight-faced. She put on a spiteful face and dug her fingernail right into my palm

`Oww, that hurt,' I protested.

`Serves you right, you beast. My granny will haunt you, if I ask her to.'

She kept hold of my hand and rubbed it where she had dug in the nail.

`That's better,' she said. She was now stroking my hand gently which was getting me aroused. So much that I had to wriggle on the seat as my trousers were getting uncomfortably tight again.

You have a very interesting heart line,' she frowned as she examined my hand. It's high on your hand which shows you have a passionate nature, see here how it curves up to your index or Jupiter finger?' She slowly slid her finger nail across my palm, the effect of which was to increase my excitement which was becoming more and more difficult to conceal. She seemed to be unaware of the effect she was having and continued stroking the palm, `that means you have an open and warm hearted nature. It also means you haven't had sex for far too long.' She giggled as she said the last bit.

`You're making that up, it's all a load of rubbish' I protested.

Alex bent forward, kissed my palm then looked sideways at me, and said, `Really? So tell me, when was the last time you had sex?' she fluttered her lashes as she said this.

I had to laugh at that. `OK, the bit about the sex is right. But the rest is all BS.'

`Don't you think you're warm hearted either? I think you are.' She kissed my hand once more before letting it go. I immediately wished she hadn't let go, it had felt so nice.

She took a sip of her beer before saying casually, `By the way, you might like to know that Pao said you enjoyed what happened in Cockatoo and she said she could feel it quite clearly.' She put extra emphasis on the word feel and I nearly choked on my beer, just managing to splutter a reply

`OK. I defy anyone not feel anything when a pretty little thing like Pao starts stroking their crown jewels.'

`Fair enough, James, but she also said you did a bit of stroking back,' she was now looking at me very innocently and wide eyed. I went red again. Damn my genes.

`Only for a moment, Pao put my hand there.'

Oh, that big bully Pao, but did she make you rub it?' again wide eyed and innocent. OK, that's enough. I'm sorry I was just trying to tease you, James. It doesn't matter to me, honestly.'

As we sat side by side I could feel her leg bump mine more and more frequently, and I knew this wasn't accidental. Alex moved along the bench which increased the pressure of her leg against mine. I was now getting aroused by this and had to move to adjust myself.

`Everything OK, James?' She asked. I'm sure she now knew full well the effect she was having on me.

I had to change the subject.

Alex, one thing that's bothering me.' I said just as I could feel her hand move onto my thigh. Really, James, just the one thing?' her eyebrows arched in mock surprise.

`You have been so sweet since I arrived and you've said so many nice things about me. When we were at uni I always thought you didn't like me. Or at least that you just thought I was a boring twit. I don't get why things are so different now.'

Alex stiffened, took her hand off my thigh, put her glass on the table very carefully and sat looking out into the darkness. She didn't reply for what seemed an age. She turned to me with a sad look in her eyes, looked at me for a few seconds, then turned away and began to speak softly.

James, you just don't get it do you? Are you really so dense? You want to know the truth? I fancied the pants off you at Uni. I was dying to get into your trousers back then. I tried so many times to be with you, dropped so many hints that you didn't ever pick up on. I thought all along that you were just playing hard to get. I didn't believe anyone could not read the signals. All those times I tried to get you out for a drink. You just said you had to study. The parties I asked you to that you couldn't make. The times I invited you to my room and you had other things to do. It just made me more determined to get you. In the end I think I would have had to dance around naked in front of you with a sign round my neck saying James, come and get me' for you to have noticed me. It seems crazy now, that I kept on trying for so long. Sometimes when you want something so bad and you can't get it, it makes you want it so much more. I just didn't know how to get you to like me. You had this bloody Hugh Grant look going, like in Notting Hill, which was driving me crazy. The floppy hair and the polite gentleman act. Didn't you see it was turning me on so much? I had the biggest crush on you. All I ever managed to get was a fucking hug when I left for Thailand. Didn't you have any inkling at all?'

I sat back, shocked. I had no idea that was how Alex had felt about me. From somewhere in my reeling mind I remembered the farewell hug and what he had said about regrets and missed chances. I slumped back; the realisation of what he had meant now obvious.

`Alex, I am so sorry, I had no idea. I must have been so stupid. I thought you had me down as an uptight twit. I was jealous of you to be honest. You were so easy with everyone whilst I was so clumsy and found it difficult to talk to you or your friends. I was so worried about you not liking me I guess I put my defences up. I would see you with all those girls and wished I could be like you. I wanted to be you. I thought you were taking the piss when you asked me for a drink. You were always so at ease with people, you could talk to anyone and charm them into the palm of your hand.'

Alex twirled her glass and looking up at me, said, `didn't manage to charm you though, did I? The girls meant nothing to me; they just liked to hang around with a good looking bloke. They were fun company but that's all they ever were. I had no idea if you were gay or even curious, but when there's someone you want so badly, you just have to keep trying. I could even have been happy with being friends and hanging out together'

She turned her head away, though I could see she was still blinking back the tears.

She sniffed and said, `It's ironic that you wanted to be me and I wanted you. That would keep us both in therapy for years. You were the one who got away from me. So I had to get away from you. It was partly because of you that I went off to Thailand. I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of you. I had fallen for someone that I could never have, how fucking sad is that?'

She was looking for a tissue to wipe her eyes and I gave her one I had in my pocket.

See, that's what I mean, you are such a gentleman. When I got your email I couldn't believe it. I had to sit down for a long time to think. Did I really want to see you again? I know it hadn't been your fault really but I wasn't sure that awakening all those memories would do me any good. I talked all night with Areeya. I had never told her about you before and she had to listen all night to me running on about how great you were blah, blah, blah. She is so sweet; she just listened and finally told me, You must do what your heart wants.'

Alex had stopped crying but looked as if she could start again anytime.

`I finally decided that what my heart wanted was to see you again. To see if I had the same feelings for you or if in the years since things had changed. When you walked through that door and looked so confused and lost, just like Hugh bloody Grant would have done, I knew that I had not lost any of my feelings for you. My legs were shaking when I saw you. The only thing that saved me was the fact that you were so shocked so I had time to gather myself. I knew it was a huge risk to see you as I am now. You could have turned round and just walked away. You could have got really angry. You could have shouted and screamed at me, called me all kinds of names. I bet myself, wished with all my heart that you wouldn't, that you would still be my Hugh Grant. And damn you, you were. You sat there and listened to me telling you my story and didn't bat an eyelid. I have never told anyone other than Areeya that whole story before and you took it in your stride, like a gentleman would. Areeya told me what you said about me choosing a hard road and how strong a character I was and that was very sweet of you. But when I saw you come through that door I nearly lost it completely. Strong character? I felt like a fucking helpless kitten at that moment'

She stood up and walked quickly away to the edge of the veranda and stood looking out into the darkness. She was still wiping away the tears. I followed and put my hands on her shoulders and turned her round. She wouldn't look me in the eyes and I thought I should finish this now for all our sakes.

`Alex, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. You have gone through so much and I don't want to spoil the happiness you have here with Areeya, I guess I should go now.'

She looked up at me, eyes blazing, her fists drumming on my chest.

`Don't you dare fucking go now before I find out. I haven't gone through all this today to lose you again before I find out if you feel anything for me.'

She looked at me, eyes scared yet pleading with me. Time for you to go, that dark voice said in my head. I decided to ignore it for now.

`Alex, I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on. I cannot believe how much courage and strength it took to deal with everything you have gone through. It would have crushed most people but you have found your own road to travel and have followed it to turn into someone so exceptional. I haven't met anyone before who makes me feel as alive and excited to be with as you do. You're beautiful and sexy and funny and strong and charming and exciting and talented and...I think I'm falling in love with you. I know I can't do anything about the past, but I don't know what to do about the now either. You and Areeya are so strong together; you have something so wonderful together, I wouldn't do anything to hurt either of you.'

James, James,' she whispered, I don't want you to go. If you truly feel like this then I can't let you go.'

She put her hand up and stroked my face. I let my hands drop from her shoulders and she quickly leant into me and kissed me on the lips. She drew back nervously to see my reaction and this time I kissed her. I felt her arms go up around my neck and I put my arms around her and pulled her close to me as we kissed. She moved into me and I could feel myself getting hard as she slid her leg between mine and kissed me with her tongue this time.

Alex broke off the kiss, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bench seat. She pushed me down, hitched up her dress to get down on her knees. She shoved me back on the bench, pulled my t- shirt off over my head and her fingers went straight to my belt which she undid with practised ease. She dragged down my jeans and boxers, freeing my cock before wrapping her hands around it and stroking up and down the shaft. The first touch of her fingers was electrifying. It had been months since anyone had touched my cock and to have her fingers caressing it like this made me shake with excitement. I was looking down at Alex as she teased my shaft with her fingers and nails.

Alex looked up at me and whispered, `This is what I always wanted.'

My wife hated going down on me but it was something I had always loved. I watched as Alex used both hands to stroke my cock as she looked straight up at me. She suddenly leant forward to kiss the tip and pushed her lips over it bathing the cockhead with her lips, whilst her tongue attacked the underside of the head. This was making me even harder than I had been to begin with and I almost fainted with pleasure as she poked her tongue into the slit. She pushed my cock back so that it lay flat against my tummy and began to lick it, starting at the root and moving up and down the length of the shaft. She did this a few times before taking first one of my balls and then the other into her mouth and gently sucked them. I moaned and she quickly put her hands up to my chest and pinched my nipples. This was now driving me wild and Alex started to blow softly across the cockhead. Nothing I had ever experienced had even come close to the feeling I had now. I watched as she took the head back between her lips and worked magic with her tongue on the underside which for me is so sensitive. I began to move my hips forward as I felt the pressure building in me. Alex, recognising this took her hands and mouth off my cock to prolong the excitement. She went back to my balls gently pulling them and kissing the spot where the shaft meets the balls. I couldn't hold back much longer and Alex rocked back slightly and then suddenly plunged my cock into her mouth.

`Oh my god,' I moaned.

She used her hand to stroke my cock hard as she pistoned it in and out of her mouth, her lips wrapped tight around it. My head snapped back, eyes closed now with my hands behind my head. The pressure was now unbearable and I knew I was going to climax.

I'm coming, I'm coming.'I g asped and she stepped up the pace, her mouth making slurping noises as she sucked and sucked.

`AAAAAHHHH' I came like never before, my cock pumping cum into her mouth. I can't remember ever coming so hard before and it seemed to go on for an eternity. I slumped back on the bench and I could feel Alex still sucking the last drops from my cock. I felt her release me and I opened my eyes to see her stand up and quickly straddle me on the bench, her hands went behind my head and she kissed me hard, her tongue working its way into my mouth and I could taste some of my cum still on her tongue.

I wrapped my arms around her and we continued to kiss for a long time our tongues intertwined. Alex eventually broke our kiss but remained straddling me on the bench.

`How was that, James?' she asked softly, her fingers stroking my face.

`My god, Alex, I have never felt anything like that in my life, I felt like I was never going to stop coming.' I said.

`Mmm, I didn't think you were going to stop either, baby. That was more than a teaspoonful coming down the chute, to be sure,' her little giggle as she said it was the last straw and I knew without a doubt now that I was in love with her. Hell, what I do now, I thought. Run said the dark voice, stay said the light one. I ignored the dark voice yet again.

Alex kissed me again and stood up. I stood too, a little unsteadily, and reached down to pull up my boxers and jeans.

Oh, does he have to go away so soon, said Alex as she grabbed my cock, `He's so sweet and I think he was glad to see me. I know I was glad to see him.' She giggled again and I batted her hand away her making her pout.

I managed to finish pulling on my jeans and was looking for my t-shirt. Alex had it, hiding it behind her back and stopping me from grabbing it.

`Mmm, you have lovely nipples you know, it's a shame to cover them up.' She managed to plant a kiss on one nipple before I eventually twisted the shirt out of her grasp and slipped it back on. I glanced at my watch and saw it was now 2.30 in the morning. Only a handful of hours had passed since I got here, but plenty enough time for my world to tilt on its axis.

`I should get back to my hotel,' I said.

No chance, buster.' Alex said fiercely, do you think I'm going to let you out my sight now? You can stay with us, there's our flat at the back.'

This was the moment of decision; if I stayed I could not pretend this was just a one off, something that I could put down to alcohol and lust. There would be no turning back and it would be a journey into the unknown. I didn't even bother to listen to the two voices in my head this time. Alex was looking anxiously at me waiting for me to make up my mind.

If that's alright with you, I would like to,' I replied. She punched me in the arm and said, Sometimes, you don't have to be so bloody polite. If it wasn't OK I wouldn't have suggested it.' Her mention of staying with us made me remember something.

`Hey, didn't you say Areeya was going to join us?'

Alex looked straight into my eyes and said, `Yes, she did, she's sitting just over there.