Chapter 41
Yea, I know. It's been a long time and, if I'd known it would take me so long to start writing again after the summer, I probably wouldn't have left you guys hanging like that. But August went by way too fast and, even when everything returned to normal in September, there just didn't seem to be a lot of time for me to write. So I hope you're still around and are happy to read the continuing story of Francis and Nick and the others, none of whom will be forgotten.
So I won't promise a chapter a month but will do my best to make sure I can get out a new chapter at least that often. If you want to find the other chapters or other stories of my www.geocities.com/timsfunplace . If you want to drop me a note noway16@hotmail.com.
For now, take care and enjoy chapter 41.
Chapter 41
Yea, I know! My god, if I think about that night and everything that happened, I still start to shake. Of course, most of what I know isn't from my own memory, but from what I heard later on but, not to leave you hanging, I think before I continue, I should tell you what happened to me and also what happened to the others in the meantime.
I just want to say that it turned out to be one of the rougher nights in my life and that of my friends. So I guess I should go on now with the story.
Well, let's see: where shall I begin? I guess with the first story that I hadn't finished telling you guys about.
[in the bedroom of James and Alexei]
Damned, Alexei thought. Now what? I knew then that there was no way of talking our way out of this, as it was pretty clear what we'd been up to. I thought for a second and, when I looked at James, I knew that he was my first concern now. The other person could just wait. I reached over to the bed and got a towel and handed it to James, who smiled at me and draped it around his body. I looked around to see if there was something else but I couldn't reach anything that fast. Before I had an idea how to get out of this situation, James stood up and turned around, in such a way that he was between the visitor and me. I put my hand on his shoulder. I could feel him tremble. I leaned closer to him and whispered into his ear, "Shall we move back to the bathroom and get dressed? It seems we need to talk and I like that better when I'm dressed."
He didn't answer but I felt him start moving back slowly, making sure that he stayed between the visitor and me. I couldn't see his face but I knew that it must have shown how upset he was.
"What do you think you're doing? Come here now, James."
When the lady said that, I felt James start to tremble. I knew I had to take the initiative in this case.
"No, I think we're first going to get dressed and then we'll talk with you."
"Talk??? You think I want to talk??? I think there's just one thing you can do, and that's for you to stay here. James, get dressed and then we'll leave."
"No, I think we need to get dressed and then we can talk."
"You'd better hurry then and don't touch him, you pervert!"
I now felt James shaking violently, so I slowly moved him back towards the bathroom. I closed the door and looked at him. He hadn't been crying, but I heard him sob the moment the door was closed.
"Sit, James. Don't worry, it'll all turn out for the best, you'll see."
"Do you think so, Alexei?"
"We'll see."
"Well, I'm not so sure. Did you hear what she called you? I always knew that she'd be upset when I told her about me being gay."
"I know, James. Most gay teens are afraid of that but, as far as I know, parents either react by saying, 'oh, we've always known,' or something like that ... or they're furious to begin with and eventually come around because they still know they love their son."
"Oh, like Francis's parents did?"
"Well, there are the odd exceptions who are never able to deal with the truth, but most of the time that's because they're very religious. I don't think your mom is that religious, is she?"
"No, but still ... she's the only family I have, Alexei. I'm not sure what I'd do if she stayed mad at me."
"We'll see ... but remember, I'm here for you, whatever happens. So let's gets dressed and then see what transpires."
"Will you go in with me?"
"Of course, James. We're in this together and, remember, try to keep cool ... even if your mom gets furious with you, try to be patient but firm."
I leaned a bit closer to him, to give him a kiss on his cheek, but he backed off. Damn, I thought ... well, he is partly right, perhaps this wasn't the time for it ... but, on the other hand, he has to know that I was there to support him. While he was putting on his pants, I looked at him. He looked frightened.
"OK, you're ready?"
"Yea, I think so, Alexei."
"OK let's go out there."
[Back in the bedroom of David and Kathy]
"Pregnant?"
Damn, now what? I thought. I was still trying to process this myself and, wow, I hadn't even had time to talk this through with Kathy and now ....
"Pregnant? Damn, I thought you guys knew better."
"Oh, thanks! If this is going to be a lecture about birth control, then you'd better stop. Do you think this is something that we intended to happen?" Kathy interrupted him before he could go on.
"David, I thought you shared my dreams for you, son! I thought you knew what you had to do to reach those goals."
"Is that all you can think of, his precious career?"
I looked at both of them, the two people that I really loved. But now all I could see was anger on both their faces. I knew that I hadn't started off on the right foot with Kathy on this, as I was just too stunned to respond at all. I knew they were yelling at each other.
Then suddenly it was silent. I looked up at both of them. I wasn't sure but I believe I heard my name hanging in the air, on the lips of both of them.
"Now," they both said.
"Sorry, but I'm not going to be in the middle of this fight between you two.
I think you barged in here, dad, and heard something that was not for your ears. So I think you'd better get out of here now so I can discuss this first with Kathy and then we can talk about it all later."
"Oh, what do you think there is to talk about?"
"For now, dad, I have no idea ... but it would make it a lot easier if you left for now and we talked later, OK?"
I felt Kathy's arm draped over my shoulder, so I knew she supported me in this, which was good, as I knew my dad would never go unless we were united.
I hoped his dreams were reforming in light of this news, and reason got ahold of him again. I knew this was one huge disappointment for him, as he had dreams for me but, still, his reaction was out of proportion.
"OK, if that's what you want. I'll give you an hour and then I'll be back."
He turned around and left the room.
I saw how Kathy was looking at me as she dropped her arm from my shoulder. I knew then that I had to choose my next words carefully.
"Kathy, pregnant? Wow!"
"Yea, wow!"
There was something hanging in the air and I wasn't sure what to do about it at that point but I knew she was waiting for my real response.
"I'm sorry for my dad, Kathy. He had no right to start in on you."
"Your dad, David? Your dad is that you can talk about right now?"
Wrong words! I knew it the moment I started the sentence, but to react to becoming a father was just one step too far for me.
"Yes, he had no right to say those things to you. You don't deserve them. It's just as much my fault as it is yours."
"Fault? Fault???" After that it only got worse, not a bit but a lot. I knew I was in trouble but I was just so confused.
I didn't follow everything she said, but she stood up and then walked to the door. I wanted to shout at her not to go but there was no way I could get a word in between what she was shouting.
She left me, just like that. I still didn't believe all that was happening.
I pinched my arm to see if I was dreaming. Me? A father? My god!
[OK, time to see what's happening in one of the other rooms]
I felt my pants being opened. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. It felt as if there was someone inside me who wanted to scream, but there was no sound. I felt his hand open my zipper and start to rub the front of my pants, first along the zipper, then he reached inside and rubbed my underwear.
"Nice white underwear," he mumbled.
My god! This couldn't be true! I needed to get to Francis, he needed me. I knew I was too late to be there on time but, oh shit! What would happen to him? But how could I get away from this? I tried to move, to fight, but somehow all my muscles seemed to have frozen. Damn! Not all of them, as I felt one of them move. This couldn't be happening! I couldn't respond to him like that! What was happenening?
"Hmmm, I knew you'd respond to this, Nick."
[In Francis and Nick's room, Francis and his mom meet]
I heard the knock on the door about five minutes after Nick left. I knew he'd be back but I already missed him.
"Come in."
I saw the door open and then she came in. She didn't say anything. I wanted to go to her and open my arms to give her a hug. I just started to realize how much I missed her and how much I missed talking with her about all the little things in life. But, then again, she was the one that had turned her back on me when I was thrown out by dad. Was she really as frightened of him as Nick said?
"Mom," I said softly.
"Francis" was her reply.
Not son, I noticed, but Francis. Most of the time in the past she'd said "son" to me and "Francis" only when I was in trouble.
"You did well today. I'm very proud of you and your team."
"Thanks, I guess."
It sounded as if she meant it, but I wasn't sure if I believed her so easily.
"You know, Francis, I've been rehearsing what I wanted to say to you but they all sounded so lame, so inadequate as a response to what I feel about what I've done to you."
I think she saw my mouth dropping and closing again. A small smile appeared on her face.
"Yes, I'm sure those were not the words you expected! I can't say much positive about what I did, only why, and then hope you'll be able to forgive me."
"Forgive you? Do you really think it's going to be that easy, mom?" My anger had started to come back and I tried not to let it out but that wasn't easy.
"I don't think it's going to be easy for you to do, Francis, but I'm ready to try. I know it'll take a lot of time, and a lot of serious talk, too, but I'll do anything just to be a part of your life."
"Why?"
"Why? Well, you're my son. I want to be part of what you do and to hear what life brings for you. I'm proud of who you're becoming, Francis. You'll be a better men than your father ever was."
Me, a better men than my father? What was she saying? My god! She was doing it, she was confusing me! Now what, I thought. I can't just ....
"I know you don't understand all of this, but for now I just want you to know that I'm proud of you and, if you're willing, I want a chance to be a part of your life."
"My life? You mean my gymnastics and school?"
"Yes, and even Nick."
"So you can hurt him as well? I don't think that's a good idea, mom. He's been through a lot and he doesn't need any more hassle around him."
There! I was feeling more comfortable, now that I could defend the one I loved.
"Never to hurt him, Francis. I'd never do that. I've talked with him three times now and every time he's been friendly, honest and very well mannered to me."
"Well mannered? Is that your standard of behavior? Were you raised to throw your own son out on the street without thinking what would become of him, just because he feels different than you do?"
"No, I don't think that was appropriate. Like I said, I'm not going to ask your forgiveness because that won't undo any of the things I did to you. I can only hope that you're able to start to trust me enough, little by little, so I can prove that I was wrong and at fault on all those things. I can't undo them, Francis, but I would if I could in a second."
So, that's what she wanted to do! Just try and draw me back with good behavior and that was it! That was too easy. She deserved to feel the pain that I had felt, then she'd know what she'd done to me.
"I can see, Francis, that this isn't easy and I think it never will be, so I'll leave if you want me to. But I hoped you'd give me a chance. Your father doesn't know I am here and I'll find ways to stay in contact somehow."
"He doesn't know you're here? Aren't you afraid he'll find out?"
"Well, I guess I am, but the fact that I am here must mean something to you.
For years now, Francis, I've been hiding behind his back, thinking I wasn't allowed to go against his will. But after what he did to you, I saw the way you felt about Nick. I knew he was wrong; the priest must be wrong.
I saw love, Francis, just the way I used to love your dad when I first met him."
I interrupted her. This couldn't be true! There was no way she was comparing herself and dad to me and Nick. We had so many good thinks linking us. She must have seen the strange look on my face.
"I know this'll be hard to believe, but your father hasn't always been the way he is now. Damn! Now I'm doing it again! Sorry, Francis, but this was the only thing that I wasn't going to do and that was to defend him. He doesn't deserve that at all at the moment. I know he hurt you and I just want to know that I'm willing to put everything at stake to see you and ignore his wishes in this completely."
I saw tears starting to roll down her cheeks. More and more followed that first one and I slowly stepped closer to her. She was looking at something down at her feet. I wasn't sure but I could feel she meand this. There was anger towards and fear of her husband but it seems there was love as well.
I stepped a bit closer. I could touch her now if I tried. She was still my mom and seeing her crying like this was just not something she deserved. I think Nick was right: there was more to it all than I knew, a lot more. Maybe I should start listening to her and let her tell her story.
I stroked her on her shoulder. She looked up at me. "I'm sorry, son," she said. "I never wanted any of this to happen."
"I'm beginning to see that, mom. but it'll take time ... a lot of time ... to believe it ... but I'm willing to try."
More tears came running down her cheeks now and I think my eyes were starting to get wet as well. I stepped one step closer to her and took her in my arms. "I love him so much mom. I can't help it; I tried."
More tears were running over both our faces as we held each other closely, afraid to let go.
Then there was a knock at the door. Hmmm, Nick probably, I thought. It was a quick return but he might just be anxious to see if this was working out or not.
"I think that's Nick, mom, so I'd better open it, if you're OK."
"You never have to ask that, son. He's your boyfriend and I'm fine with whomever you choose to love."
I smiled at her and walked to the door. Just as I was about to open it, there was a harder knock at the door.
[meanwhile, in the stairway]
No, I thought, this can't be happening! I started to breath a bit harder.
"See, I knew you'd like this, Nick. I just knew it! Now, what shall we do?
Shall I get you undressed further and let you run naked in the hall downstairs? I bet that would excite you."
Oh, my god! I never knew he could be so cruel, so .... He then pushed himself against me. I could smell him. He'd been drinking, I could smell it. He wasn't totally drunk but still ....
"Or do you want me to strip you to your underwear, then call room service and see what happens when they deliver my order?"
He had stopped rubbing me as he pushed himself fully against me. I felt my dick get even harder. No! There was no way I was responding to his actions, to his threats.
"I know you've been dreaming about this, Nick. I just know it. Things that humiliate you in front of others do that ... you can't deny that."
I didn't answer him but the fact I wasn't moving either must have given him a sense of power. It wasn't that I didn't try. I did, but there was just no way I could move. I tried several times but my body didn't respond. Fear, I guess, was holding me back. I knew the moment he left, I'd come back to normal but, my god, I needed to try to get out of here! Francis needed me ... he needed me now ... but what could I do?
"I think we'd better leave here now ... but first, I want you to step out of your jeans."
When I didn't move, he growled, "Come on, move it." He pushed his hand against my throat ... not hard, but I felt he'd use more force if he needed to ... so I slowly lifted one leg.
He slipped them off and grabbed them. "OK, now move! I have a room here."
We started to walk up. Going higher also meant I was closer to Francis. Maybe I could get away?
When we reached the 8th floor, one level lower than our room, he pushed me into the hallway and then, without further ado, into the first room along the corridor.
My god! Now what, I thought. I'll never get away! I looked around to see what the room was like but the lights were off, so I couldn't see anything.
"If you start screaming when I turn on the light, I'll gag you so the choice is up to you, Nick."
I'd seen his face. I knew he'd do what he said, so I tried to keep my mouth shut. What had he planned for me now? What was in here that he wanted me for?
The light went on and I started with what I saw. Oh no, I thought. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! By sheer force of will, I was able to keep my mouth shut.
[back in the room of Alexei and James]
"Are you OK, James? Did he hurt you?"
I looked at James, hoping he'd answer that honestly. He looked at me smiled and said, "Hurt me? Never, mom! He's been the most wonderful guy you could wish for."
I saw surprise on his mom's face. "He didn't force you into anything, James?"
"No, mom. I love him."
"Hmmmm, love. What do you know about that?"
"I would never hurt him, ma'am," I spoke up. "I love James as much as you do."
"Oh, no! You're not gay, James, you can't be. Nobody in the family is gay."
Well, I thought, this isn't the best reaction ever, but then again, it wasn't the worst, either. I looked at James who'd taken a seat not too far from his mom. I tried to get closer to him but I felt his hand making sure some distance was still there between us.
"Well, I am gay, mom. I always felt a greater attraction to boys than to girls. You know there's never been any tension between girls and me. I can always do what I want with them ... talk, go out, whatever. I think some of them must have felt it as well, otherwise they wouldn't have agreed to go out with me, but they did until .... Well, let's just say ... I know for sure I'm gay."
Wow! That was something that James had never told me! He was still looking at his mom.
"But him! What do you need to do with him? He's much older then you are, James! This can never work."
"Well, I don't know if it'll work ... but if I don't give it a chance, I'll never know so ...." He waited for a second and then looked at her and continued. "I love him, mom. You know if that happens, there's nothing that can keep you from not loving someone. I know you had the same with dad. If it'd been otherwise, you'd never have mourned his death for so long."
"How did you know, James?"
"How couldn't I, mom? Every year you did the same thing on the anniversary of the day he died. That is something someone does who is still in love, still not ready to let go. I wish you would ... but I knew it was up to you to do it."
"Oh, James! My god, I'm so proud of you! You're so smart." Well, you can guess that tears starting to flow and they found each other in a big hug.
"I'd better leave you two. There's a lot you need to talk about. I'll be back in 30 minutes or so, James."
He nodded and smiled and I could see that with his lips he formed the words, "I love you." I smiled back and left the room.
Well for so far chapter 41 and I hope chapter 42 will be out sooner. If you want to send me a message about it which I appreciate very much you can contact me at noway16@hotmail.com or ICQ 36967366