Hi there guys. I wanted to start off by thanking everyone that took the time to write to me. It's good to know that my story is getting read. Your letters are what will keep me going. Also I want to say sorry for the delay on this chapter. I've been having so difficult times in my personal life. I will try harder to get the next chapter out in less time then a month. I hope I can keep up to everyone's expectations on my story. So here you go people "Cinematic View" hope its goes over well.
As before the usual disclaimer applies. Legal....Bla..Bla...Bla..Illegal...gay stories...Don't read if your not suppose to.
Cinematic View-Part 2
There I am standing in front of my full-length closet mirror looking at my body, as I get ready for my big night out. Strange isn't it, that now as I look at myself in the mirror I no longer see the boy I once was but the person Sean found attractive and interesting enough to ask out. Funny one minute you're a fat ugly kid the next you're an attractive young man. All it takes is one person that you like and find incredible to like you back. Self-esteem works out weird that way.
So there I am getting ready for my date wearing nothing but a towel looking at myself in the mirror. My 5'11 170 frame. My exposed chest showing too much hair for my taste. A patch on my pecs and a trailer from my navel downward to what is hidden by the towel. I stand there looking at myself. Trying hard to find what Sean could possibly see in me.
My mind then drifts too earlier in the day with Chris and Jason at a local Pizza and Arcade called Mitch's Place. It's a nice enough place but after school it can get a little crowded.
Our conversations had started out normal enough. Chatting about school and things to do with the up coming summer vacation. Jason wanting to go with Christine down to Mexico for a week, while I just couldn't wait for my date with Sean tonight. I'm just sitting there thinking about tonight and getting nervous all over again. I thought the worst would be over with both Sean and I outing ourselves to each other but now with this date I was being forced to face my desires head on and that scared me.
I knew Christine was talking to me but in my haze I simply nodded with a blank stare and a mumbled reply. I just watched from the window of our booth at all the cars driving by on the street. Not really looking at anything just letting my mind wonder to thoughts of the date. With these thoughts my heart started to pound and my stomach began to twist. I began to go over what I should wear, what if, anything should I do with my hair, and I continued down the list of things that I need to do in order to prepare for what I can only describe as my dream date. A flying French fry to the forehead then snapped me back to my table. I turned my head to see Christine looking at me with a concerned smile.
"Marc. Snap out of it. We brought you here to cheer you up. Not so Jay and I could talk all afternoon and you could sit there looking like a mental patient. What is it? Are you still hung up on this Sean thing? Come on forget about it, ok." She was such a good friend. You could tell she had so much genuine concern for me. I then began to question whether I should tell her and Jay about Sean. I mean they know about me but do I have the right to out Sean to them?
"Sorry guys. I know you brought me here to cheer me up but something came up after school that I'm still trying to figure out." I just hope they leave it alone but knowing Christine she'll pry especially when she thinks it's for my own good. "I'll try to be more sociable, I promise."
"After school?" Oh no here it comes. "What happened after school? Was it Sean? Did he say something bad to you in your Bio class?" I could see the protective friend anger rising in her eye's I knew that no matter what I told her I had to make sure Sean came out shining or he'd hear it from her tomorrow. You got to love her for it though. "Marc, tell me what's going on?"
The conflict in me to either tell her the truth or to lie began inside me. I knew I had to tell her something and quick or she knew I was lying. One bad thing about good friends they always seem to know when you're lying.
"Chris I was talking to Sean after school." The truth won the battle. After all she is my best friend and with news this good I had to tell somebody right?
"I knew it! I'll kill him! What did he say to you? The Bastard!" Christine Screeched.
"Woe. Down girl. Let's listen to Marc before we form the lynching comity." Jason was now trying to be the voice of reason in this conversation. "What did you guys talk about Marc?"
"Ok. So there I am packing up to get out of class when Sean walks up behind me and we start talking. Well both you know I've had a crush on Sean scenes forever. So there I am talking to him and he lets out that he's been noticing me watching him around school. So at this point I figure I'm going to get beaten to a pulp." I stop to breath and let out a sigh. Here it comes, Sean forgive me. "Well then Sean tells me he's been watching me. I was floored. I wasn't sure what to think. Well to get to the point Sean and I have a date tonight." There I told them. I felt better in a way, almost the same way when I came out to them. It was like a burden was off my shoulders and I could be completely myself around them.
"Marc, that's great guy, I'm totally happy for you." Jason gave me congratulations on my date.
However Christine was less then ecstatic. See Christine never was a fan of Sean's but she loves me. So she allowed my little crush but always warned me not to get my hopes up. Now with the prospect of Sean and I an item she was not a happy camper. She however was still supportive to a point.
"That's nice Marc I'm happy for you." Christine spoke in a tone reveling her turn feels.
"You don't like this do you?" I asked wanting the truth from my closest friend.
"What do you think?" She bit back
"Come on Chris we should be happy for him. Look you can tell there is a happiness about Marc now. I think this is great. Hey we can go on a double dates now." Jason was trying to get his girlfriend to accept this arrangement but I knew her better then that.
"If it was anyone else I'd be fine but its not. It's Sean Rialey. I know two things and I tell you this as your friend." She then put her fingers out to count off her points. "One, you have been hung up on this guy forever so if anything happens you'll be devastated. I will be there for you but I just don't want to see you go through that pain. Two, I've heard things around school about him. I know their rumors but still. They say he is a trophy seeker. All he wants is a new piece of ass nothing more and nothing less. Three, he already is dating Linda Fleming the bleached bitch. It could be a set up. Marc I don't want to see her get hurt babe." Her perennial rant had for some reason made something in me snap.
I was not going to sit there and have her rip apart my guy and turn my happiest moment to date into a bad thing. As much love I had for Christine I was for once in my life headed towards my wishes. Ever scenes I accepted being gay I have wander a boyfriend and now it's in my grasp and I won't loose that. I could take it my anger burst out in a fit of yelling.
"How dare you! You don't even know him and already you're his judge jury and executioner. Here I am about to go on a date with the person I've been having fantasies about for the last few years and all you can do is preach to me about how much you don't like him. I thought you were my friend. Last time I checked friends were suppose to support each other. Well I guess our friendship meant more to me then it did to you." I couldn't help it she was attacking Sean and so I had to bite back. I wasn't even sure what I was saying all I knew was I had to get out of there.
I stormed out of Mitch's not even realizing it when the door I slammed open hit something or even when I started hearing my name. I just made my way to my car.
To most everyone a car represents different things. To me a car represents my sanctuary. I can use it to escape my parents or to take me to new places. My car is nothing special it's a Nissan Sentra I got last year for my sixteenth birthday. I sit there in my silver Sentra and then it happens. All the anger, all the emotion, everything I had felt and held onto for this day came out in tears. I just sat there bagging the steering wheel in frustration. I was crying because Christine didn't support me. I cried because I yelled at my best friend. I was just so wrapped up in my emotions earlier feelings with Sean were brought to the surface. Now I only knew how to deal with everything by crying them out of my system. I lost track of where I was and how long I was there I just cried.
I then heard the faint sound of knocking. I looked out my window to see a familiar figure standing outside my car. I rolled down my window and tried to focus my teary eyes and make out the figure.
"Hey there Marc are you OK?" That voice, I know that voice. I cleared my eyes finally to see Eric Masterson standing in front of me with a worried look on his face.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I sniffled.
"You don't look fine. You want to talk about it?" Eric was a friend of mine from Drama class at school we talked some in class and at lunch but never much else. I began to wander if I could trust him. "Look we don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. Its just looks like you need a friend right now." I was never that close with Eric but he was right I did need a friend right now.
"I guess you caught me on a bad day Eric. You want to go for a ride? I really wouldn't mind the company." I wasn't ready to tell Eric the whole story but I could definitely use the company right now.
"Sure." His answer was simple but to me and at that time it meant so much more. It meant I still had a friend because I was sure after my little outburst Christine wouldn't be to eager to talk to me again.
"Good" I smiled and unlocked the passenger side door. "Get in." Eric hopped in and I started the car. I looked at Eric smiled again and he smiled back. I always seemed to feel happier when I hung out with Eric. I think its just we have so much in common it just makes being around him enjoyable. "Lets get going, shall we?" With that we drove out of the parking lot of Mitch's and off to a place to talk.
"So any idea of where you taking me? Eric asked. Then he turned to me with a serious look on his face. "Your not going to kill me then throw my body in the forest are you?" He looked all worried.
"Freak." I laughed. Then Eric laughed. Once the laughing stopped I turned to Eric. Actually I have no idea where I'm going I'm just driving.
"Well I know of a great place if you want to go there?" Eric suggested and I nodded in agreement to his suggestion. "OK cool." Eric smiled and began to give me directions to wherever it was he was taking me.
We pulled onto dirt road that appeared to curve up into the hills. He later instructed me to stop next to a series of picnic benches. It appeared to be a family camping ground. We got out of the car and walked over to the benches that seemed to be on a lookout spot. Giving whoever happened upon this spot a combining view of the natural valley and city lights. Getting out of the car Eric sat down on the top of one of the benches and motioned for me to join him. I slowly walked over and sat next to Eric.
The view I saw was in credible. The beautiful combination of the valleys and the setting sun made for an impressive sight indeed. The one good thing about the smog in California is it allows for the most spectacular sunsets. The sky was cast in an orange and pink glow. The few clouds in the sky only added to the beauty of the sight I now set my eyes upon.
"It's absolutely spectacular." I gasped.
"I know isn't it incredible. I come here whenever I need to think or study lines. During the summer it's crowed with families but during the winter like now it secluded." Eric just continued to watch the setting sun with me as he explained his connection to the place of solace.
"Well, I feel honored you decided to bring me here. I would figure a place like this you'd want to keep to yourself." I thanked him.
"Well in all honesty generally I do like to keep this to myself. Its just that you looked so upset earlier, I just figured this place always cheers me up might as well give it a try." He was so nice to me and here I hardly gave him the time of day in class.
"Listen I hate to pry but do you feel like talking yet?" Eric questioned in the fashion of a true friend.
"I'll talk but not about what's bothering me if you don't mind." I simply couldn't tell him and take the chance of killing a friendship I was trying to build with Eric.
"You know it's totally cool. I understand. Some things you just have to keep to yourself. I think we all have secrets and it's all about finding the one person you can share those secrets with." Eric sure did seem to have a way of looking at things. Here I am agonizing over things and he seems to know just what life is all about.
"Thanks for understanding."
"Not a problem. So hey on another topic you ready for this year in Drama?" I saw in his eye the same spark in his eye people must see in mine when I talk about the stage. I knew he liked drama before but today I realized he loved it.
"Yep, I'm on board for whatever we do this year. You have any favorite shows you'd like to do?" I asked him being happy that we now had a subject we could both talk about and enjoy.
"Actually I do. It's this play I read last year but Mr. Harkens said we couldn't do it because of content. It's called the "Gingerbread Lady". I know that it touches on some sensitive issues but still I think we could have pulled it off. It has to do with Alcoholism, Sexuality, and Abuse. I guess know one thinks those are subjects for a high school Drama class to touch on." I was still upset about the whole thing. I guess the real reason I wanted to do the play so badly was there was a gay character in it and it gave me the chance to play a part of my true self that I tried very hard to hide. Well in the end I still got to do a scene from the play in class and that was some amount of a victory.
"Yeah I remember that." Eric surprised me by remembering how hard I pushed to put on the play. I thought no one really was paying attention to my discussion with Mr. Harkens on the subject. "I was hoping you'd win the argument. I seriously think we could have used the show to spice up the drama department. I think a lot of the students wanted you to win they were just afraid to speak up. I must admit I admired you for sticking up for what you wanted. I only wish I had the balls to fight with you."
"Well it's a new year maybe we can fight together to put it on this year." I was really starting to feel at ease here talking to Eric watching the day end. The last rays of sunlight were hitting us now. The golden light gave a glow to everything around me. I looked over at Eric and he was entranced by the sunset and for a second I could have swear I saw a tear in his eye. I then turned to watch the sunset with Eric in a peaceful silence.
"Its beautiful you know?" Eric broke the silence.
"What's that?"
"The sunset. The way it makes everything look so incredible right before they disappear into the dark. Its almost like nature bring to our attention the things we take for grated during the day so we can appreciate them once we lose sight of them in the dark." Eric spoke from the heart and I was amazed not only was he an actor but a poet as well.
"I guess you're right. You do tend to not notice things until you see them in a new light. I never knew you to be a poet."
"I just have ideas that I put to paper ever so often. I don't really consider myself a poet." He was so humble. I wander if he really knows how talented he is.
"Serious Eric you should write. I mean it. I would love to read your work someday and say I knew that guy. It would be cool." Then glancing at my watch noticed the time.
"Shit!" I yelled realizing I needed to get home so I could talk to Sean about tonight. I was having such a great time with Eric I forgot about everything.
"Marc? Everything Ok?" Eric looking at me worried.
"Yeah, sorry I just realized I have to get home." I got up and started for the car.
"Oh, Ok then well I hope this helped with your mood." Eric fallowed me.
"Yes, very much so. Thank you for bringing me here Eric it was great." We got in my car and started the drive to drop Eric off at home.
"Good I'm glad I could help. It was nice to be able to share this place with someone. Maybe we could come up here more often just to talk. That is if you want too?"
"Sure I'd like that." I smiled at Eric and he smiled back. The rest of the ride was quite except for Eric giving me directions to his house. Finally we arrived at his house, which to my surprise was relatively close to my own home. Eric got out and started walk to the door. He stopped then turned back towards the car.
"Thanks again for letting me help."
"Hey I should be the one thanking you." He began to walk back to the door again when I yelled back. "Hey Eric you want to eat lunch together tomorrow? I had a fight with Christine so I figure I'll be pretty lonely at lunch time."
"Sure I'd like that. Later Marc hope things work out for you." Eric and I said our goodbyes with that. I then drove home think that I just made a great friend today.
I reached my house, pulled into the driveway and made my way to the front door when I heard it. It was the phone ringing. I rushed into my house throwing my book bag on the couch and making a mad dash for the phone. By the 4th ring I got it.
"Hello?" I answered, hoping it was Sean.
"Yes, is Marc there?" The person on the other end asked.
"This is Marc."
"Hey guy, its Sean. I was starting to get worried you changed your mind about tonight. You were suppose to call me about our date remember?" Sean sounded a little worried on the phone. Like he actually had to be afraid I wouldn't want to go on a date with him.
"Sorry about that, I was out with Christine and something happened and I lost track of time." I wasn't really in the mood to go into the events of the afternoon with him.
"Is everything ok? You know what you need to do? You need to go out with me have a fun night and put things behind you. Come on let me cheer you up." Here I have a gorgeous guy begging me to go out with him I must a seriously do some good deeds in a past life. "So what is it guy?"
"Sure we're on for this evening. I can't think of anything I'd rather do then spend the evening with the sexiest guy I know." Corny I know but I had to let him know I was into idea of going out with him.
"Great. So what are the plans then? Dinner? Movie? Romantic walk? All the above? What's your preference?"
"Well how about we play it by ear? I can tell you this I wouldn't mind getting a bite to eat." Well if nothing else it was a start for the evening and we could go from there.
"Sounds good. I think I know the perfect place for our first date. I tell you what its about 7 now, so lets say I pick you up at 8 we get dinner and see we things lead. Sound good?" Well I tell you anything would be fine with me as long I was with him.
"Sure, sounds like a plan." I was starting to get a little nervous about tonight. After all it was my first date with my dream lover.
So at that point I proceeded to give Sean the directions to my house so he could pick me up. We finalized things and so it was then set that at 8 I was going to be picked up by my fantasy for our first date. When fished with planning things with Sean I put down the phone and ran up stairs to get ready. After all I only had one hour to get ready.
I then snap back to my reflection in the mirror. Shivering a little I suddenly relies my being half dressed and proceed to ravage my closet for the right outfit for tonight. I searched and searched again finally deciding of a pair of black cargo pants and dark blue and black button down bowling shirt. Looking at myself I only hoped I could make the right impression on Sean.
I walked to the bathroom and began to fix my hair. This became the real challenge of the evening considering how my hair seems to take on a mind of its own. I was finally able to tame my mop with hair gel and spiking it. I was finally ready for my date.
With that thought I began to get incredibly nervous and my stomach twist into knots. I was now on a direct collision course with facing the man I have been drooling over for the past few years. I wasn't sure how this night was going to turn out but I must see it through. I knew one thing that after tonight my life would never be the same. I then heard a sound that made my body go numb. It was the doorbell. I couldn't move. I knew I had to but my body didn't seem to want to listen to me. I finally got control of myself and walked to the door.
"Coming." I yelled out to the door.
Upon arriving at the door I gave my self a quick once over and reach my shacking had for the doorknob. Slowly I turned in know who stood beyond the door. I open the door while taking deep breath and reminding myself that this is what I wanted. Then as I open the door all the breath in my lunges was released in a gasp of shock. There stood Sean looking more incredible then ever. He was dressed in black jeans and a light blue button down dress shirt. His blond hair combed elegantly to one side and his eye's sparkling with the light of stars in the night sky. Captivated by his beauty I then was awoken from my awe by the simple words.
"So ready for our date?"
Ok so there is chapter two. Sorry to those of you that where hoping to see the date but I felt the need to build up to it a little more and add more background. Anyways thanks for reading and all comments are welcome. So please E-mail me at Snowcase21@Aol.com.