Chrysalis Part 3-Chapter 2
This story is about a young man's quest to fix a major birth defect--he was born without a penis. On his quest he meets challenges, his soul mate and many other soon to be friends.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and events are the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any real person is coincidental.
The story depicts procedures and practices common for gender reassignment; however, this story does not claim to be a medical treatise, and information is primarily for the purpose of the story and not medical advice. This story is written for adults with adult themes. If you are underage or live in a location where references to gay relationships or transgender people is forbidden, please log out of the story or move.
This work is copyrighted by Boethiuscell@gmail.com © 2023
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Chapter 2--Setting a Direction
Chris awoke to Tom carrying flowers into their room. "Congrats form Cedrick and Ariel," Tom said as he placed the vase on the dresser.
"Word travels fast." Chris chuckled because messages were on his phone from Chaz and Boyd saying about the same. Tom looked Chris over, eyes of lust and admiration. "Like what you see?" Tom grunted a yes. "Well don't get used to it because here today and gone tomorrow."
"What I see is a beautiful man with a beautiful soul undergoing a transformation, a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I am dumbfounded that I am a part of this miraculous transformation. I am humbled by your love."
"But will it be true as you see the monster that I might become."
"You will never be a monster. That is not your core. It is like a mannequin, your core. and your body is what the mannequin wears."
Chris crossed his arms, frowning. "So, my core is a dummy."
"You finally realize it." Tom laughed and threw himself onto the bed, grabbing Chris in a bear hug.
"Fuck me."
"I will never fuck you Chris." Tom did daisy kisses on Chris's neck. "I will always make love to you." They gave themselves to each other.
Chris walked into the kitchen in only pajama pants: no shirt, no shoes. This was the first time, outside of photoshoots, that Chris was willing to expose himself to strangers. Tom was right behind him dressed the same. Tracey was wearing only running shorts. Tom had assured Chris that this was normal for a Sunday breakfast.
Tracey's eyes wandered over Chris's bare chest both curious and wanton. "You guys fuck yourself silly last night?" Anda tutted him on his manners.
"We never fuck." Chris calmly said as he sat in the empty chair next to Tracey. Tracey's eyes widened in disbelief; he sputtered into his orange juice. "We only make love." Chris added. "We fill each other's needs." Low to the table so only Tracey would see, Chris formed the index finger and thumb of his left hand into a circle then poked the index finger of his right hand through the hole. "I try to fill his whole needs as he does mine." Tracey's eyes darted back and forth between Tom and Chris. Tom sat grinning at his brother; Tracey tried to drink more juice and choked. Chris patted Tracey on the back. "You should only swallow what you can handle."
Tracey looked squarely at Chris. "You are one very evil man."
"Thank you, Tom says it all the time. You should see me when I'm really wacked off. There is no holding me back."
Tracey looked at Tom, who was enjoying his brother's discomfort. "You got yourself one Big Dicked dude. If you ever tire of him, can I have him."
"My Big Dick right now is fake. You can have it when I'm done with it." Tracey choked again on Chris's comment. Chris turned his attention to Quent and a conversation about the music video he and Natalie were creating. Quent had great production and location suggestions as well as offering the sound studio on the lower level, which would solve one of the big problems.
After a filling breakfast of eggs rancheros, chili rellenos, and home fried potatoes, Tom, Chris, Linc and Tracey walked down to Malibu beach. While Tom and Tracey tossed a frisbee, Linc, an architecture student, and Chris discussed architecture, particularly Frank Lloyd Wright as a Midwestern architect and him as a West Coast architect. They agreed that the weather and longer days shifted his designs to include larger windows than in the Midwest.
"Linc bore you into the sand about gothic arches?" Tom said with a friendly smile as he sat behind Chris, legs on each side of Chris.
"No," Linc huffed as if Tom's complaint was a long standing one. "We were discussing Frank Lloyd Wright, which your husband was able to more than competently discuss. Obviously he is not a philistine like you."
Tom laughed and pulled Chris back onto his chest. "The breath of Chris's knowledge never ceases to amaze me. Since I have met him, I no longer need Google." Chris pulled Tom's arm up to his mouth and bit it. "Hey that hurt," Tom knew it didn't, but the show was required. Chris bit him again--harder. "Hey that really did hurt." Chris looked up at Tom with innocent angelic eyes.
Linc sat there chuckling. "He is a perfect mate for you Tom. I hope I find a woman so suited for me."
"I know the perfect person for you." Both Tom and Linc's heads bobbed back in surprise. "Linc, right now you are dabbling in architecture, exploring all styles but have not yet found what yourself, your style. Build me a sandcastle." Linc looked at Tom; Tom only shrugged. Twenty minutes later a beautify castle was at Chris's feet. "That is very nice--for Disney. But that is not you. Look around you, what do you find beautiful?"
Linc pulled out of his pocket an oblong stone. "This is an agate I found on a field trip. I love the blend of colors and the form with its worn soft edges."
"How would those characteristics work in a building?" Linc smashed the sandcastle with a vengeance, replacing it with a low long building that was both solid and lyrical. Linc smiled at Chris. "That is beautiful."
"Yes it is," Linc agreed. "Thanks Chris for helping. I have been struggling but it was all so simple once I focused on what I liked." Linc looked at Tom. "Are you sure he is not a Greenwood?"
"I am sure that he has the Greenwood gene somewhere in the past."
"Be interesting to see what Grandda says."
"Back to the original problem." Chris interrupted. "The perfect person for Linc is Natalie Wong."
"What," Tom's voice was too loud in Chris's ear. "How can you say that. They are so different."
"Don't know, just a feeling. Just like I had when I first met you." Tom had no further argument after that.
Linc asked about Natalie Wong, and Tom gave him a thumbnail. Linc did not say no to meeting her. Tracey returned after cavorting with some friends he had met at the beach. They picked up their things and returned to the house. Tom and Chris needed to spend time with Helga, and Tracey's trans friends were stopping by to meet Chris.
The meeting in Helga's guest suite ran over two hours. Inez brought down lunch: ice tea, a salad, and chicken empanadas, but even lunch did not stop the meeting. Stu and Adam, from New York, were in on a conference call. A rough timeline was set for a quick transition to Dreamweavers because all the Wongs, except for Natalie, Jacob, and Peony, resigned immediately, leaving contracts pending, financials in disarray, and talent in limbo. Helga was going to stay two more weeks to help. Chris had to fly back to New York for a Friday doctor's appointment and had several bookings. He was, after the Expo show, a hot property. Helga could have booked him solid for six months. Tom was to fly back Sunday for meetings and assignments Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then fly back to California for meetings there on Thursday, Friday, and the weekend. A rough schedule was spreadsheeted. Chris moaned that for the rest of July he and Tom would only be together for six days. Helga just said welcome to the world of fashion. The only bright spot was that he would spend almost a week in Hawaii. But it was without Tom. Finally, Stu said that enough was done and that further discussion would be spinning wheels. He wished everybody a happy 4th and the meeting ended. Chris needed a drink. Tom kissed Chris.
Most of the family was around the pool sipping mojitos, which Chris gratefully accepted. No one seemed to care that he was under 21, but then Tracey was having one too. He inhaled the mint aroma and relaxed. Linc was there with a couple of friends from college. Linc introduced them as Roger and Dawyne, but they returned to the pool and did not hang around. Tracey was in the whirlpool with two female friends, both wearing bikinis. Tracey saw Chris and waved, the two friends turned and waved too, neither of the friends had visible breasts.
Chris took another large sip of his mojito and several selections from a cheese tray that Anda passed him. "Tracey has been prowling like a caged baboon waiting for you," Anda said. Chris savored a small wedge of brie on an apple slice. "You do not need to talk to them if you are too exhausted." Chris appreciated her offer but knew that he needed to. He knew how hard it was to be transgender; he needed to help if he could. Anda refiled his glass, and Chris walked over to the whirlpool and sat on the edge, legs dangling in the swirling water.
"This is Chris, my future brother-in-law. He's snagged my brother Tom. This is Stacey." Stacey was tall, slender, dark haired with a definite five o'clock shadow. "And this is Bill, but he prefers Constance or Connie when with us." Bill was short and thicker both in bone and in body. His baby fat had not hit puberty.
"Hi Stacey and Connie. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"You are really trans?" Stacey asked and then blushed, "I don't mean to be so forward but you seem so masculine."
"I'm female to male," Chris said, and both girls nodded as if that explained everything. "I have had some surgery." Chris patted his chest "and will start hormone therapy this week." Chris had taken his shirt off and the two stared at his missing breasts.
"I don't see any scars." Connie stated as she looked closely at Chris's chest.
"I had a very good surgeon and my breasts were thankfully small to begin with." Chris could not help smiling at the two. They were so open about it and yet so naive. They were only a few years younger than him, but a world away in maturity. "How are your parents handling your gender identity?'
"Mine are very cool with it," Stacy said. We figured it out when I was four or five and by 7th grade I started dressing gender appropriate. It has helped when I see my cock and feel wrong."
"Mine are doing better," Connie joined in the conversation. "It took a major mental health crisis involving pills to convince them that my gender identity was screwed up. They're devout Catholics and worry about my going to hell and the Church's teaching doesn't help. They don't understand how God made a mistake. A real challenge of faith, but they love me and want me to be happy and alive." She added the last with her head held down.
"A good friend of mine told me when I had asked why god did this to me said that God does not make a mistake. He or she gave me the soul of a man; nature screwed and gave me the body of a woman. By having surgery, I will correct nature's mistake and become as God wants me." Connie and Stacey were quiet digesting what Chris said.
"Are you scared?" Tracey asked Chris.
"Fucking hell yes." Stacey giggled at Chris's comment. "Every day since I was eight and knew I was missing a dick. My gender dysphoria can be acute some days. I won't look into a mirror because the image is wrong, repugnant, and freak of nature. And then there is the hormone therapy, which fucks with your personality. I just finished estrogen treatment." That raised eyebrows. "I wanted to freeze my eggs so that I and Tom can have our children through a surrogate."
"Never thought of freezing my sperm," said Connie.
"As Tom said, I was a QUEEN BITCH, on the fertility hormones." Again, giggles from Stacey. "Now I am off them and start testosterone. It scares me. While it has very positive effects, some of the side effects are terrifying."
"Is that why you initially told my brother no?" Chris nodded to Tracey's question.
"But you are still going through with the hormones and the surgery?" Stacey was pensive; a state Chris thought she was incapable of.
"Yes, I cannot live with this body. I cannot not live." The whole thought of remaining female churned deep in Chris's stomach. The statement was the truth.
Stacey and Connie moved on either side of Chris. "We know." They hugged one another and turned the conversation to school, college, and whom they'd like to fuck. The bell rang and Quent announced homemade ice cream in the family room. The pool area emptied like a flock of ducks after a gunshot.
After ice cream, Stacey and Connie left as did Linc's friends. Chris moved to the piano; he always found it a calming place where he could refocus his life. He attacked the piano with Beethoven's "Waldstein Sonata", frustration and fear leaking out with each slap of the keys. Those emotions purged, he was left hollow and needed to be filled with positive energy and then calm. The Chopin nocturnes and Debussy's "Clair de Lune" brought him the final peace he needed. Finished, he sat silent, head bowed, slowly regaining awareness of other people. "Sorry, I sometimes zone out when I play." Chris stood and sat next to Tom.
"That was spectacular." Quent said as he looked at Chris with a solemn smile. "I hope you don't mind, but I recorded it. I have high quality microphones in the room, so the recording will be almost as good as live."
"Always wanted to be a recording artist," Chris said with good humor.
"Chris," Quent responded with a shake of his head. "I have a feeling you can be anything you want to be." Inez announced supper and she was leaving for the day. The antipasto salad, spaghetti alfredo, and tiramisu was the best Chris ever had.
After supper they watched a movie in the media room. Quent pulled the movie from a safe. It was "Minions", which was not scheduled for release for another week. Quent was called in for dialogue editing and given an advanced copy. After the movie, Helga, Tom and Chris left for the hotel. They had an early Monday morning. As they were leaving Tracey pulled Chris aside. "Thanks for chilling with Stacey and Connie. You made them stronger. Kids at school are not always nice. And I want to welcome you to the family. You are the strongest, bravest man I know." He kissed Chris on the cheek and swatted his ass. Chris turned and wagged a finger at him.
Monday through Thursday Chris and Natalie worked on the music video. Late Thursday Chris flew back to New York alone; he was too exhausted to miss Tom until he crawled into bed. It was difficult leaving Tom behind, but he had commitments in New York. Friday, Chris stopped in at Dreamweavers-East, as it was now called. Cynthia met Chris to discuss his work on the West coast and his schedule for the next few weeks. At least this coming week he would work in house for Leo's Tramp Wear--Chris impressed Leo at the fashion show and wanted Chris as a main model.
At 2:00 Chris headed to Dr. Sturgeon for the first testosterone treatment. Chris took Boyd with him as moral support since Tom was not available.
Chris did not wait long until the nurse called Chris back to the exam room. Chris told the doctor that Boyd could stay in the room. Dr. Sturgeon pulled up Chris's medical history on his laptop. "Blood work looks good, both hematocrit and lipid panels. Your bone density is very good. You also meet the six criteria for hormone therapy. The last one about mental health is always problematic because you do not have a large support system or alternate decision maker." Chris told the doctor that he was just engaged on the 4th, and they are living together. "That is wonderful Chris. But what about family support?" Chris briefly reminded the doctor about his family but went on about how supportive Chris's family are.
"Sir," Boyd spoke up. "Chris has dozens of friends and co-workers who have his back. We want the best for Chris and changing genders is the best for Chris."
"Thank you, young man. I like that Chris is not alone with this. It is a big change for him, and he does not need people shaming or doubting his decisions." Dr. Sturgeon made a note in the chart. "You are model Chris?" Chris nodded. "The testosterone will change your looks, which could affect your career."
"My work is very supportive and understands the physical changes. We are discussing alternate plans as my physical looks change."
"There are several choices, Chris, for treatment. We could do minimal dosage which would slightly change your appearance. It would only reduce the feminine features like reduce your period until you have the full surgery in four or five months. You will stay very androgenous. Or we could do the normal dosages as recommended for a more masculine physique."
Chris closed his eyes trying to imagine himself as he looks now but with a penis. And then with a beard. "Sir, I will be happier as fully male."
"That is the wisest choice. Now you have three choices for administration: injection, implant, or transdermal. I do not recommend the transdermal because it is messy, and you can cross contaminate other surfaces. Injections would need to be done weekly. The implant would be good for four to six months."
"Definitely implants since I travel extensively for my job."
"That is good then. Now last question. Do you want the masculinization to proceed slowly or more rapidly? The faster does have more risks and side effects. It is also more difficult to control the level of masculinization. If you proceed slowly and find you are developing masculine traits you do not desire. The dosage level can be pulled back to a maintenance level. There is a wide range of acceptable levels of testosterone; from 300-1000. This is about you, your needs, and the level of masculinity you are comfortable with. From emo twink to caveman."
Chris laughed, "Neither for me but I want to look in the mirror and see a man. Ryan Reynolds masculine."
Dr. Sturgeon added notes to the laptop. "You ready for the first treatment?" The doctor called the nurse to bring into the exam room three units of Testopel. "You may want your friend to leave the room because these are implanted in the butt."
"Boyd has seen me naked so his presence is not an issue. Nudity is an occupational hazard."
The nurse brought in a small blister pack and handed it to the doctor with a scalpel. "The procedure is simple and mostly painless." The doctor showed Chris the medication. It was less than the length of a dime and as thick as pencil lead. "After cleansing and applying a topical anesthetic, I will make a small shallow incision on the side of your buttock. In the fat layer I will place with this syringe type instrument the four pellets in a row. Finally, will be a band aide and you're done for three months. I, however, would like to see you in one month to determine any dosage changes." The whole procedure took less than fifteen minutes. "Here are some side effects to be aware of." He handed Chris a sheet of paper. "The worst is usually acne because of increases of oil in the skin, but good cleansing daily should keep this problem to a minimum. Any questions?" Chris had none and left.
Chris was quiet on the ride back to his condo. He felt overwhelmed that he was on the path he wanted since he was a child. He was one significant step close to being free from the body he detested. His transformation was beginning.