Before you read this story, there are a few things you should consider:
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It contains graphic descriptions of sex between men. In some cases, these depictions may get kinky, and include borderline S&M.
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It is set in the early 1960s, an era before the Civil Rights Act of 1964 when segregation and discrimination were the norm. African Americans were referred to as Negroes or Coloreds, although the "N" word was offensive then as it is now. I have retained the language of the era because it reminds me how far we have come on race relations.
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Be aware that the effects of inflation have been profound. A good rule of thumb is to consider that $1 in 1962 is probably similar to $10 in 2008. So just add a zero at the end of any number.
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Some authors are good enough to create a mood through their words. I need help, so I'll be posted recommended musical selections throughout the story.
CHAPTER 27
Musical Recommendation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW1LkJNmWzg "Walk Like A Man" by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
December 24, 1962
I got up early, energized and motivated. There was a lot to do today, not all of it pleasant. I took a shower, one of the long ones that prepped my psyche and steeled my nerves, did my morning "getting ready" routine, and headed to the kitchen.
Vella was there and gave me her now-typical dirty look. I started rummaging around the kitchen for food while she continued to glare at me. I ignored her but satisfied myself by making as much noise and as big a mess as possible.
"So you planning to hate me forever now, or is this something you might get over in 10 or 20 years?" I asked her sarcastically.
"Man laying with another man is unnatural and it's a sin," she replied simply.
I wolfed down the rest of my food and looked at her calmly. "You know Vella, I've always thought that God was a black woman. I just didn't know it was you. Got any more divine judgments to hand down?" She just scowled at me and I headed to the guest room to find Jason.
I knocked and entered and found him in bed with a very embarrassed Vivienne. "Good morning you two," I said cheerfully and sat on the bed next to them. They were both obviously mortified, but I was in a playful mood.
"You know Jason, that door does have a lock." He rolled his eyes. I looked at Vivienne. "Vivienne, you look as beautiful in the morning as you do in the evening. It's good to see you." Her natural vain streak emerged at the compliment and she relaxed a little bit.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm off to run a few errands," I said to Jason. "Then I've got some shopping to do. You wanna hit the stores with me?"
Jason smiled at me. "That would be great. I didn't have a whole lot of time before we left Chicago."
"Great," I said. "I'll come back and pick you up in a couple of hours. I'll take my mom's car so you can drive Vivienne home." They thanked me and I left the room, chuckling. The room reeked of sex.
Driving the Oldsmobile was like driving a boat after my Corvette. I drove downtown, past the half-built high-rise that would soon house Crampton Construction, and headed instead to the old building. And old it was. Built in the late 1800's, it was a big, stone monolith built in the American interpretation of the Empire Style.
I rarely went here, but they all knew me, primarily from the parties my parents threw and from the July 4th festival. "Good morning Dr. Crampton," said Jeanette, the receptionist, cheerfully.
"Good morning Jeanette," I said with a smile, and she seemed flattered that I remembered her name. Damn. If I was straight I could get laid all the time in this town. Not that I was doing too bad anyway, I smirked. "Is my brother in?"
"Of course. I don't think he ever leaves." It was supposed to be a joke, but we both knew it was more true than false.
I headed up the stairs, eschewing the elevator. The broad staircase was elegant, remnants from a bygone era. My brother occupied one of the four corner offices, not too far from my father's.
I knocked on the door and he smiled and motioned me in while he continued his phone conversation. "You need to make sure you guys are on the site working the day after Christmas. That's the deal. We blow this and our contracts are gonna dry up and we're all gonna be out of a job." He paused to listen. "I know it's the day after Christmas goddammit. I'll be working and so can they." My brother had a hot streak that my father once had as well, before he became such a political hack. "Alright, I'm not the bastard everyone thinks I am. Everyone who shows up on time and works their full shift for the rest of the week gets a $50 bonus. Will that do it?" He paused to listen. "I thought so. Merry Christmas." He hung up the phone and said to the now dormant device "Merry Fucking Christmas."
He turned to me and hit me with his smile and came around to hug me. I savored the hug, figuring it would probably be my last received from him. "JP! What a great surprise. Hang on." He leaned out his door and told his secretary to hold his calls and shut the door. "What brings you down to the messy world of commerce?"
I smiled at him. "Just making sure I don't become a communist. I needed to breathe that sweet air of capitalism." We both laughed. "Seriously Jim, I need to talk to you about something."
"This have anything to do with why Dad's been such a sonuvabitch today?"
"Yep. Yesterday we were talking about Andre's funeral and I told him that I wanted him to be buried in the family plot." Jim nodded.
"So that bothered him? Figures." Things like that didn't bother my brother. "I'm really sorry about Andre JP. He was a great guy. If you want my support, you got it. He was as much a part of the family as you and me." I grimaced inside. Well, as much a part of the family as you are.
I just continued. "Well, I ended up telling him that Andre was not just my friend, he was my partner." I watched Jim digest this and come to the obvious conclusion. "I'm a fag Jim."
He looked at me carefully. I couldn't really read his expression. "Well that certainly would explain Dad's mood."
"I told him, and mom, and Tonto, and Vella heard too. That's it. But I wanted you to know. I'm sorry that I hid this from you all these years. You've been such a great brother. I hope you don't hate me." I felt a tear run down my face, and reminded myself that this weakness is what happened when I loved people.
"So are we the only people you're planning to tell?" he asked.
"Yeah. I probably shouldn't have told anyone, but the stress and pain of Andre's death pretty much shattered my common sense. I didn't want to tell them and not let you know. That didn't seem fair. I love you, and my niece and nephew, and I worried that you wouldn't want me around them after this, but I just had to be honest." Now the tears were really flowing, which must have looked ridiculous since my voice was calm and steady.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked, and I feared the worst had come true. "You think I'd hate you, that I'd keep you away from my kids because you're a fag?" He paused. "You must not have a very high opinion of me." I looked at him in amazement.
"I'm sorry Jim. You remind me so much of Dad, sometimes I just think of you as his younger twin. And he didn't handle it well. Called me a "faggot" after I left the room and got a slap on the face from Tonto for it." Jim laughed.
"That aunt of ours is one scary woman. Look JP, you're my brother, and I love you. If you like to suck dick, well, I'm not saying I'm thrilled by it, but that's your business, not mine." I looked up at him, stunned and he hugged me. Suddenly, the world was better. I felt my mood lift.
"Jim, hearing you say that, knowing that you still love me, I think I can still face the world. Thank you. Thank you so much." He smiled at me.
"One thing though, JP." Uh oh, the big "but". "Our reputation in town is important, and it's even more important in Columbus. You tell everyone you're a, uh, homosexual and it's going to cause a scandal, maybe damage what we're trying to build. I don't mean to sound selfish, but your discretion is important."
I contemplated Jim, and how easily he shifted from loving brother to CEO in waiting. He continued. "I don't mean to tell you how to lead your life, but it would be helpful if you didn't traipse around town in a dress and make-up."
I started laughing. "Is lip balm and sun tan lotion OK?" I asked.
"That is acceptable," he said with feigned seriousness.
"Thanks Jim. I know you need to get back to work. I'll see you tonight at Tonto's."
He hugged me again. "You got it. And don't worry about Dad. He'll come around. We may have to kick him in the ass a few times, but he'll get there."
I walked down the ornate staircase and out the doors with a huge weight off my shoulders. Heading for the Oldsmobile I saw my Dad striding quickly toward the building. "Morning JP," he said formally. "Can I help you?" Was it going to be like this forever? He sounded like a clerk in a store.
"No Dad, I just stopped by to see Jim. See you tonight." And before he had time to ask any questions, I hopped into the Olds and headed home.
I got home and walked through the kitchen, getting that same scowl from Vella I got in the morning. "Hey God," I joked, "are you gonna make it snow this afternoon?" She just glared at me and said "Humph."
Jason got back right after I did, so we took the Corvette and headed downtown. The stores were jammed, but I got everything I wanted. Jason bought Vivienne beautiful earrings. I think she'd cast her spell on him.
"She is so great JP. I think she really likes me." What woman wouldn't, I chuckled, thinking about his huge cock. That must be enough to satisfy even Vivienne.
"That's great Jason. I really like her. She's always been nice and friendly. You should know, though, that she has a reputation for being a little too friendly."
I could see him get all defensive, about to lash into me, so I held up my hand to stop him. "You know me, I can't talk. I could care less about shit like that. I think it's great that a woman can admit she likes sex. But I just wanted you to know, OK." He came down from his defensive posture and just nodded.
I finished my Christmas shopping and I was dreading all the wrapping when I spotted a charity wrapping stand in the store. I dropped everything off, made Jason do the same, and took him out for a late lunch. After that, armed with packages, we made our way back home.
We walked through the kitchen and Vella looked up at me, glaring. "If I'm God, then you must be Satan."
I laughed. She was probably right. "You may be right." I put my hands up to my head. "I have been feeling a little horny lately." She said "Bah" and turned away, but I saw the hint of a smile as she did.
Christmas Eve, 1962
Our house was always elegant at Christmas. The most current, fashionable tree, this year we had one of those silver ones with a funky light wheel, and even the most current wrapping paper. It was like an extension of my mother. Tonto's house had no such elegance. They always had a live tree, decorated with a hodge podge of ornaments picked up throughout the years. Everything was kind of kitschy. I think my mother thought it all rather tasteless, but I liked it. It felt like home.
We drove separately, Jason and me getting there first. There, waiting for me, was the best Christmas present of all. "BILLY!" I yelled as I ran over and hugged him!
"JP!" he said, and hugged me back. A long hug, the hug of friends too long apart. "It's so good to see you. I managed to get leave so we could come out for Christmas. Besides, I wanted to meet my new nephew." I saw Tonto in the background, beaming. I winked at her.
"You said "we". Does that mean Janice is here too?"
He kept on smiling. "Yeah JP. We worked things out. It's been great. I think we're better now than we've ever been. And the new guy, Bradley, he's fantastic!" He led me into the living room where Janice sat, looking nervous. I hugged her warmly and that seemed to help her calm down a bit. I introduced Jason, and he played with my little cousins. He was great with kids.
Janice excused herself to head into the study and I followed her. "Janice," I called. "It's great to see you here. I'm glad you and Billy worked things out."
She looked at me suspiciously. "Thanks JP. It's just that I'm sure everyone pretty much knows about our troubles, and I can't help but think I've walked right into the Lion's den."
"Just relax, OK? All the people here tonight probably have skeletons in their closets as well." Like my mother, I thought bitterly. "Hold your head high. Your husband loves you, and his best friend does too." She smiled at that. "Hell, you even won over his mother, and she's a scary woman." That really cracked her up.
"Thanks JP. If anyone gives me crap, will you be my protector?"
"Of course madam," I said, trying to sound like a gallant medieval knight, adding a bow for effect. "I shall defend your honor to my last breath."
We had a great dinner, and then opened presents. Our family custom was that we exchanged presents between each other tonight, and then tomorrow, when our extended family joined us (Jeff, Vella, Sammy, etc.) we exchanged gifts with them. I think the real reason for this is so we didn't spawn undo jealousy, just in case someone gave a particularly generous gift, like, for instance, the one I planned for my parents that year.
I had addressed the gift to both of them. My mother opened it and took out a set of car keys, and they both looked at me, confused. Then they looked into the box and took out a card and some pictures.
Dear Mother and Dad,
I know how much Dad liked my Corvette, so I decided to get you one, a convertible, so you could have a toy to drive around when the weather is nice. I hope you enjoy it, and remember how much I love and appreciate you when you drive it. And best of all, I paid for it with my own money.
Love,
JP
My mother got up and hugged me, my father just looked tense, sad, concerned, whatever it was, I couldn't read it. Happiness wasn't one of those emotions, and that really disappointed me.
"That's really a nice present JP," he said somewhat formally. "Thanks so much." Tonto glared at him, and everyone else just looked at him, surprised.
"I'm glad you like it Dad," was all I said.
When it was their turn, my father handed Jim and I each a manila envelope. When I opened it up, I found stock certificates for Crampton Construction Company. They'd given me 100,000 shares. Shit. That was a lot of stock. Jim and I beamed at each other and compared notes, much to my father's discomfort. Jim had gotten stock too, only he'd gotten 200,000 shares. I felt him start to get angry, he always watched out for me, but I leaned over and whispered "Don't worry about it. Don't get upset. Especially not here, not now." He nodded.
I was actually glad that Jim got more. He worked for the company, he'd run it someday, and he deserved it. I never felt jealous of him. He worked hard for everything he got. But he didn't see it that way.
Nonetheless, we put on happy faces and ended up having a great time. About midnight, we all decided to head home. I dawdled a little bit to chat with Billy and Stefan, who seemed to get along just fine. I hope Stefan didn't hit on him too.
When I got to our house I was surprised to see my brother's car out front. Jason and I walked into the living room and right into the middle of a family argument. My brother and my father were standing up, squared off in the middle of the room, while my mother stood off to the side just looking pissed.
"You changed the numbers. That's bullshit Dad. Bullshit. Why did you do it? Just because he told you he's a fag? So that makes him less of a son. I can't believe you did that. I can't believe it!" I'd never seen Jim yell at my father, and neither had he. My father looked to my mother for support, but she just glared at him and shook her head. Then they seemed to realize that I was there, Jason having wisely escaped to his room.
I intervened. "It's really fine Jim. Really. You work hard, and you're building the company. I took a different path. I was glad that you got more. You deserve it."
Jim turned away from my father. "Thanks JP, but that's not the point. It's not fair."
"Actually it is. Besides, barring some medical miracle, I won't be having any kids, so you have more beneficiaries than me." I was the only one who laughed at that. Jim wasn't convinced.
I went into problem solving mode. "If this really upsets you, then do me a favor. Take the extra 50,000 shares you think I should have gotten and put them in trust for your kids. That way, you can vote them and control them, and they'll ultimately benefit my nieces and nephews. You can see I'm planning for more," I said with a smile. "It's what I would have done anyway."
Jim just nodded, scowled at my father, hugged me, and headed to his car without saying a word. The three of us just stood there looking at each other. I stared at my father, daring him to say something. He'd just told the whole world he loved Jim more than me, and I'd come in and saved his ass. Now I recognized the look on his face. It was guilt.
I kissed my mother on the cheek, turned on my heel, and went to my room. I got into my sanctuary and closed the door, but I wasn't upset. At least I knew where I stood with my family. Besides, I had a whole bunch of stock. The way my father and brother were building the company, it would be worth a lot of money someday.
I heard a knock on my door and ignored it. The knock repeated, and then I heard steps walk away. Small, light footsteps. That would have been my mother. Then I heard the sliding glass door open. Surely she wouldn't go out and come in that way?
Jeff ambled into the room with a big smile on his face. He reeked of alcohol, and he was so fucking cute I almost couldn't stand it. "HO, HO, HO!" he said with his deep voice. "I'm Santa, and I'm here to fuck you." I laughed so hard I was rolling on the floor. He joined me. Then his lips were on mine, our clothes were off with undo haste, and he completed the job he came there to do.
Christmas Day, 1962
I slept in again, and I'm glad I did. After making his morning appearance, Jeff tip-toed back over and joined me in bed for some more Christmas cheer. He was so sexy. I'm glad I didn't try to force him out of my bed. There's no way I could gather together that much willpower. We'd been together so many times now that we each knew what buttons to push.
"I went home to see my parents last night," he said briefly.
"Oh, how'd that go?" I wouldn't have asked if he hadn't raised the subject.
"Not too well. They just yelled at me for about half an hour then I left. Kept the presents I got them though."
"That sucks," I said, and hugged him a little tighter. "Hopefully today will be better."
"Not saying yesterday was bad. Last night was great." I giggled. God, he turned me into such a girl.
"Carol's coming over tonight. That OK with you?" He seemed nervous.
"Sure. She is your girlfriend. As long as I get you later on when she's done with you," I said, and moved my hand down to his swelling cock. Younger men, especially 18 year olds, are always up and ready. We merged together again, and then went our separate ways to get ready for the family to arrive.
I was sitting at my desk when my mother knocked and came in. "Good morning JP. Although it almost isn't morning anymore." She came in and sat in my other chair, the one that seemed to be getting so much use lately.
"I'm sorry about last night. I will find a way to make it up to you." She seemed genuinely concerned about me.
"I meant what I said last night mother. I'm glad it worked out the way it did. Please don't try to change it, OK? I think it will just make things worse."
"It doesn't bother you, that your father gave him more than you?" she asked, more out of curiosity than concern.
"Not really. He's made it pretty clear where I stand with him. But Jim, Tonto, and you have been there for me. It kind of makes him irrelevant in my mind. As long as I have you guys, I can handle not having him."
"JP, I know you don't mean that. Like I said yesterday, he'll come around."
"Mother, you've never told me how you feel about it, about me being queer." She blanched at the word queer. "I mean, your actions have been supportive, but I just wanted to know how you feel."
"I guess I am still a Frenchwoman at heart. We place less emphasis on religion and morals. You know history too well; we really don't have much choice. Of course I would have liked you to find a nice girl, have babies, and settle down. But you have to live your own life."
"So did it bother you that Andre and I were together?" I asked. She said no, but I could tell it was a lie. That bothered her a lot, but I left it alone. She got up and went to make sure everything was ready for the party.
I wandered into the kitchen to scrounge for food. Surprisingly, Vella didn't glare at me. I just stared at her.
"Aren't you supposed to hate me? Where's that attitude I've been seeing the last few days?" I joked at her. She tried to hide her grin but couldn't.
"You handled yourself right well last night. Your father did you wrong, and you still stuck up for him. That takes character. I guess I should cut you some slack. No one's perfect." Now we both smiled at each other, and I spread my arms as if asking for a hug. She embraced me, perhaps not as warmly as before, but it still was a hug.
"Wait a minute. No one's perfect? Not even you?" She straightened herself up in an imperious stance.
"I ain't saying I ain't perfect. In fact, some people been known to think I'm God." That really busted me up. I finished eating and wandered back to my room to kill time. There was an envelope on my desk that wasn't there before. I opened it up and pulled out a letter from my father, along with a stock certificate for another 50,000 shares.
Dear JP,
I want to apologize for what I did last night. It was unfair of me to treat you differently than your brother, so I'm making up the difference out of my own shares.
All my life I've been taught that homosexuality is a sickness, a disease, and one that may even be contagious. I guess I accepted that maxim, internalized it, and over the years did my part to perpetuate it. I have to be honest and tell you that I'm not entirely convinced that it isn't, and that if you want to try therapy to change your orientation I'll be there to support you.
The thought of you with another man disgusts me, and now that I know I have a hard time looking at you without imagining some of the things you and Andre must have done. It goes against all I've been taught to believe, including the doctrine that says it's a danger to our society, perhaps as dangerous as communism. At the same time, repulsed as I am, I can't see that either. I don't see you as a danger. You're too good a person. You're too much like your mother.
I still love you JP. I always will. I'm just having a hard time accepting that my son is a queer man. I'm not sure how long it will take me, but I hope with time I'll be able to react like your mother and brother have. But it's going to take time. Perhaps after a while I can come to grips with this and we'll be able to have a relationship like we did before, but I'm not there right now.
Dad.
I digested the letter. Disgusted? Repulsed? Those were strong words, and they angered me. What Andre and I had was beautiful. A gift. It wasn't bad or dirty. Yet at the same time, he seemed to admit that the problem was his. And that we no longer were close, and no longer had a real father-son relationship. It was sad, really sad, but it was a start.
Christmas ended up being a lot of fun. I had been thorough, even getting small gifts for Carol and Sammy's girlfriend, aptly named Delilah. Of all the cool gifts I'd received, two stuck out. The first was from Sammy, another painting. This one was even more special. It was of Andre. He'd done it in an abstract style, but there was no mistaking that nose, or that dark hair. It was perfect.
The other gift was from Jeff. It was a gold bracelet, thick, with a centerpiece that had my initials engraved. When I turned it over, it said simply "Someday."
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