I have been informed that it would be a good idea to state a few warning comments. There may be graphic sexual scenes between men in this story, so please, if this offends you, or it is illegal or you are underaged to read such, stop here and hit your "back" button. If it is okay with you, read on and enjoy.
I also want to thank Nifty for the opportunity to post my stories here. I have met some very nice people and been afforded an opportunity to express myself as never before. The feedback I have received here has encouraged me on to write more. Thanks to you all.
From Chapter 18: "That was pretty hot, Seth. Fred just doesn't do it like you do!"
"I -- I don't know -- I shouldn't have -- I'm sorry, Eddie!" I protested "That was stupid of me! I can't -- "
"SHHhhh. You don't have to do anything else. It was really nice for me. Now I will sleep better -- after a good wank! G'night!" And he left and went into his room.
I didn't sleep very well -- hardly at all. In the morning -- I guess about 4:30 -- I finally was exhausted enough to drop off. Next thing I knew, Brian was smiling into my face.
"Time to wake up, Sleepy head!" he said very sweetly. "Boy, you look like crap! Did you sleep or wrestle last night? Because if you were wrestling, I wish I was here!"
Then I remembered what had happened. "I wish you were here, too -- more than you know!"
"Your mom said to wake you. She said that Eddie was in here with you pretty late. I guess you guys are pretty good friends, huh?"
"Yeah. We used to be -- pretty close."
"Well, get your clothes on and come to breakfast. Then I guess you guys will open your tree."
"I won't be long. Close the door on your way out"
As he was closing the door, he kept his head in and whispered, "Luvvvv yooooo!" and kissed the air.
My God! What had I done!
Chapter 19
My GOD! What -- why -- I -- what can I do?? Do I tell him? Will Brian -- I'm not even sure "understand" is the correct word! I felt like -- like I wanted the earth to open up and cover me up! What would Dr. Laura say? SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
I have to tell him. I HAVE to tell him! I sat on my bed and began to shake. Tears streaming down my face. How could I? How could I hurt Brian?
Brian popped in the room again, and when I saw him, I started to cough violently. I knew I HAD to tell him. But not now! Not like -- it would have to be later, before -- before what? Before the next time we were intimate, at least! But when? NO TIME is a good time to tell the one you love that -- that you -- I - cheated! I want to die!
"SETH! Are you okay?"
"I -- I -- guess -- I -- choked on -- something!" I looked at him through watery eyes.
"Is it -- I mean -- do you -- need anything?"
"No. I think I'm all right now."
"Don't scare me like that! A doctor knows too much. When anything happens, we think of all the worse that can happen! (SIGH) I -- uh -- well, get dressed, huh? Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. I'll be there in a moment."
Breakfast went okay. Except I couldn't eat much. Eddie acted as if nothing happened. Maybe it would be better to just drop it and say nothing. Why hurt him if it's not necessary? Listen to me. Is it ever "necessary" to hurt your lover?
"Seth," Charlie said, "Can we go for another ride in your new car, today? We can wear something warm and put the top down. It's bright and sunny out this morning!"
He was so excited! It just made the sick feeling inside me more obvious.
"I guess that would be alright, Charlie." I did my best to smile.
We opened the tree up after breakfast. Everyone was so happy and the boys were bouncing off the walls. I doubted anyone even noticed how quiet I was.
When all the presents were opened, I went outside. I didn't think anyone noticed.
"Hi." I turned and there he was. He had a strange look on his face. "I was wondering." Eddie said. "Why don't you let me take the guys for a ride in your new car."
"I -- uh -- I don't know -- if that would be a good idea, Eddie. I'm not sure Dad would like that." I wasn't even sure how well Eddie drove!
"Your dad doesn't have to know! At least not before we go! Then after we get back -- well, oops! Too late!"
"Do you en have a license?"
"No, but I can drive!"
"I don't think that would be -"
"Aw c'mon, Seth, just around the block!"
"Eddie, I hate to turn you down, but -"
"Then don't! I'll be careful! Pleeeeeze?!"
"I -- no! I just can't risk it."
"Could you -- do you think -- er -- maybe you could risk it if you thought I might tell you boyfriend what we did last night!" He said it very sweetly -- and smiled!
"I -- shit Eddie, this is -- fucked up!"
"It's your decision!"
"I'll think about it."
"Think quick, Ass hole!"
"I'll be right back!" I didn't give him a chance to object. I ran into the house, went into my room and started coughing. Brian was there immediately!
"You okay?"
"NO!"
"Wha -- what's wrong, Baby?"
"You may not think of me that way after I tell you what's wrong!"
"Oh, Seth, I'm sorry! You're still pissed about last night, aren't you?! Please -- I feel like crap! I had a hard time getting to sleep last night -"
"I did too -- but it wasn't about that! It's much worse!"
"Oh, god, Seth, what is it? What have I done?"
"It's not what you have done, Dammit!" I started to cry again. I didn't realize that we were speaking rather loudly.
"Everything okay in here, guys?" It was my Dad!
"Oh! Dad! Yeah we were just -- wait! Dad, come back! Close the door, please. I want you to hear this too."
"What is it son?"
"I -- I don't quite know how -- I am so embarrassed -- but -- I -- think you should know about this." I saw a very worried look on Brian's face. "Brian, it's not you! It's me! Dad -- Brian, last night -- after our discussion the Bible stuff -- I was pretty - upset - when I came to bed. I couldn't sleep and I felt so bad, and I was -" I started to cry again.
"It's okay, son. Take your time."
"Dammit, Dad! It's NOT okay! I was angry with Brian and I was - " I felt the blood rushing to my face. "I was -- starting to -- try to make myself fell better -" I didn't know how to proceed.
"You were -- masturbating, son?"
"Yes."
"Well, that would be -- normal!" Dad said. Brian was just standing there looking bewildered.
As I started -- doing it -- Eddie snuck in and - " I broke down and started to sob!
"Did he -- seduce you, son?"
"DAD!" I yelled. "He's only sixteen! How could HE seduce ME!?"
"Well, we'll maybe discuss that later, son. So what happened?"
"He -- we -- had sex -- oral sex -- him on me -- and then just now - " I started sobbing again.
"He tried to blackmail you in some way?"
That surprised me so much, I stopped crying. "Yes! He said if I didn't let him drive my car he would tell Bri - " I looked at Brian. He looked sadder than I had ever seen him. "Brian, I'm so sorry -- I was going to -- I didn't know if --
My dad's voice cut me off. "Eddie! Come in here!" Dad was pissed! "NOW!
Seth this is not something new with Eddie. He's been doing it to his brothers. I suspected it before, but now --" Eddie came in the room, looking pretty worried. "Eddie, Seth tells us you were going to tell on him -- about last night -- if you did not let him drive his car.!"
Eddie looked totally defiant. "SO!? You can't prove anything!"
"I don't HAVE to prove anything, Eddie! All I have to do is call the social worker and tell her it's not working out. I knew you were doing this with your brothers --"
"I only have ONE brother!"
"Eddie, I KNOW you don't want to risk getting with a different family. I can't make you love the other guys as your brothers, but if I don't see a change in attitude, you are out the door!"
Eddie looked down, and was kicking at some imaginary rock. "okay." "Okay, what?" dad demanded.
"I'll -- I'll -- try to -- to -- to be better."
"You're very lucky it's Christmas day, boy! I don't want to spoil the day for everyone else. So if you promise me that you will cut this kind of crap out -- then we will forget it -- for today. And never bring it up again -- unless I see it happening again!"
Still looking down, "Okay."
"Okay, what?"
"Okay -- I promise."
They left the room. That left me -- to deal with MY problem. I watched them walk down the hall, afraid to turn around. When I did, Brian was looking thoughtfully at the wall. I said, to the floor, "I wish -- I just can't -- don't, er -- "
"Before you say any more, Just stop a moment." He walked to me and raised my chin until my eyes met his. "Seth, first of all, one of the things I love most about you -- is your youth!" I looked back to the floor. "Maybe that makes me -- weird -- or "broke" in some way. I don't know! But whatever it is, I also understand a lot about psychology. I maybe should have suspected something like this to happen. And -- I want to believe you were planning on telling me -- even if you didn't feel threatened."
"Brian -- I was in total agony over that. I was actually thinking during breakfast that maybe it would be better to say nothing and move on. I -- I didn't want to -- hurt you! You're the LAST person in the world I want to hurt."
"Anyway, as young as you are, I realize now that -- maybe -- the car was more than you could handle. It has to have pressured you a lot. The human subconscious has ways of handling things. Last night -- when we were -- discussing -- religion -- your father was completely open, and so was I. He was also completely reasonable -- and I think I was, too. But your subconscious was looking for a way out. It could not deal with the pressure I set up for it. So it decided to "pick a fight" with me. Do you understand?"
"Uh huh. -- I mean uh-uh!" I was stunned.
"Well it doesn't matter. I really appreciated the sentiment that you had inscribed on my pendant. It is what I wanted to hear. I think that may have been -- why -- you put it there. But nevertheless -- we have made no promises. No! Really! We haven't! Would it make a difference to you if we did?"
"Uh-huh." I was trying to pay attention. But it was difficult. I had this voice in my head, saying, "You don't deserve this. You should be thrown off a cliff! How can he be so -- forgiving?"
"Seth?"
"Huh?" I came back into consciousness.
"I guess I'm asking you -- formally -- do you want to -- be -- exclusive?" Now Brian looked uneasy. "Heh! Do you want to go steady with me?"
It was then I lost it. I fell into his arms. He pushed the door closed with his foot. I was breathing in deep gulps, and could not speak. He hugged me close, for about two minutes, then guided me to the bed. He sat me down on it and he sat on the chair opposite me, then took my hands in his.
"Do you need some time to think?"
I shook my head no.
"So is your answer yes -- or --no?"
I shook my head yes, and smiled through my tears.
"Can you see now why it would be better for us to take it a little slower?"
"Ye -- ye- yes. I STILL feel like a kid in the principal's office."
"I really don't mean to make you feel like that." "What?"
"Like a kid in the principles office!"
"Did I say that? Oh my gosh! I thought I just thought it!"
"You sound better. Can you go back out to the living room yet?"
"I -- I think so."
"I think you should take the guys for a ride -- with the top down!"
"You mean -- even -- Eddie?"
"Especially Eddie! He knows he's been caught. He now needs to know that he is still loved and accepted. Seth, you did the exact right thing, asking your dad to listen to -- us -- a few minutes ago. That was genius! I can tell you know a lot about psychology too!"
"K."
I loaded up the guys and put down the top. "If you didn't dress warm enough, it's your own fault! No whining after we leave the curb!"
"Hee hee!" Fred said, "We can keep each other warm!"
"Yeah, I'm sure you would like your school buddies to catch a glimpse of that!" I said. We went for a longer ride than last night. Eddie was super quiet.
Since Christmas was on Friday, we had all the rest of the weekend before going back to reality. Though I felt I had a big dose already! As we were getting ready to drive back to Santa Barbara, Brian said, "Can I drive, Seth?"
"Yeah, like I would deny you ANYTHING right now!"
"Seth. Are you sure you want to go back with me?"
"Yes! I'm positive!"
"Okay -- lets -- try -- to forget about what happened. I want to! I -- "
"Bri, I don't want to -- to lose you!"
"You took the words right out of my mouth!"
"Well, nature hates a vacuum!" I said it without cracking a smile.
"Wha -- at?" He smirked over at me. I broke into a grin. "You see? That's what's great about being gay!"
"What?" I asked.
"Guys, gay or straight -- ALL like it any time, day or night, no matter what age!"
"Well, I can't argue with that!"
"And, though I promise you I have no experience to back this up -- straight guys are constantly frustrated -- because women are just not as interested -- all the time -- as guys are!" He explained.
"So, can I assume that when we get home, you are going to molest me?"
"Wel-lllllll -- but only if you want me to!" He answered.
"Now YOU are being the silly boy!"
"So that's a yes?"
"Hmm?"
"I can drive?"
"Of course!" I said. I wanted to add, I love you, but I didn't want it to sound trite.
I wondered how Brian would drive my car. I had complete trust in him. He kept it past 90 most of the way. Luckily there was little traffic on Christmas night. When we got home, I was all over him. It was as if I had been set free from a middle east prison. As usual, he let me take the lead.
I really wanted another spanking, but -- I was a little afraid. So we didn't go there. We didn't have anything going on Saturday morning, so we were up late, and woke up several times during the night, and went at it some more. We were both a little sore the next morning.
I asked him to go in me again.
"Are you sure?" He said.
"Yes." I wanted to feel complete with him. And I thought that would do it.
It did -- at least for me. And more than that, It was actually -- nice -- this time. I did him later, and I know he liked it. I had to wonder -- remember, I had been with a couple girls -- do straight guys ever feel what we do? I didn't think so.
All I knew is that I wanted Brian for life. I found myself hoping he was thinking the same things.
We slept until noon. I woke up first. His hair looked so cute -- almost like a cupie doll, sticking up straight, and then into a curl. I watched his chest rise and fall in even rhythm. I watched his angelic face. He may have been dreaming -- something nice -- as he smiled or moaned. Only once did he make a grimace -- and two seconds later, he farted! I giggled. He opened his eyes.
"What?" He said.
"Nothing!"
"Uh-uh! You giggled -- when I farted. I know. The fart woke me up, and I heard you giggle!"
"I admit it! I am just a little kid!" I exclaimed.
"Me too, Sweetheart! Me too!"
"What can I call you?"
"What -- what do you mean?" He asked.
"You call me -- Sweetheart, Sweetie, Baby and even baby boy. What can I call you?"
"What do you want to call me?"
I paused too long. "I -- I don't know."
"Don't lie to me, SETH! You DO know!"
"I -- no I can't!"
"You could try."
I looked down at the floor. I whispered, "I want to call you -- Daddy!"
He looked at me as if I was crazy! Then he said, "Well, I guess I can see why you would want to! I am nearly old enought o be - "
"This has NOTHING to do with you! You asked me -- almost dragged it out of me. I -- my dad was -- never around when I was a boy. I sometimes just want to call you `Daddy'. Sometimes I feel like a little boy when I am around you. But it is a GOOD feeling. I feel totally protected."
"That seems to be important to you -- being or feeling protected." Brian said. "I sometimes feel insecure. And I want someone to protect me! Do you think you can also protect me? You can, you know. You can protect me from being -- hurt. You can soothe me when I come home tired from a long day in the E.R."
"I want to do those things! Someday I will." I paused. "Bri?"
"Yes?"
"When are you getting tested -- you know the spasms?"
"Next week."
"What will they do?"
"They will try to get me to convulse, and analyze the heart versus brain patterns, etc."
"Will it be safe?"
"Nothings 100%, Sweetie. But yes, it will be -- safe."
"I love you - Daddy!"
"That's interesting."
"What?"
"You called me daddy, when it is me who you want to be safe -- and protected."
"Actually, I feel very scared - about this."
"I know. I can tell. Really there's very little reason for any concern."
"Will you call me when the results come in?"
"Of course I will -- if that's what you want."
"It is." I affirmed.
"And Seth?"
"Yes?"
"I love you too -- Baby Boy!"
Notes: Okay - a little corny with the Daddy thing! But it is not unusual. Comments? Send them to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Be sure to put "Seth" in the suject line. Thanks and Luv yoo!