I have been informed that it would be a good idea to state a few warning comments. There may be graphic sexual scenes between men in this story, so please, if this offends you, or it is illegal or you are underaged to read such, stop here and hit your "back" button. If it is okay with you, read on and enjoy.
From Chapter 26:
When Jake and his "family" arrived Wednesday afternoon in a car they rented at the airport, little 3 year-old Uri saw Craig and bee-lined to him. Craig lifted him up and swung him over his head like a helicopter. Uri giggled and giggled! Ursula shyly walked up to me and thrust her arms up to me. I picked her up and she immediately stroked my five o-clock shadow. She was going to melt some guys heart - or more likely melt AND break lots of guys' hearts when she got older.
Wednesday night we made up the couch for the kids. It was long enough for both to sleep, end to end. Craig, Seth and I had just gotten to bed, when the door crept open, and there was Ursula looking demurely up at me. I beckoned and she ran to me. As soon as she was up on my bed, Uri came running and almost jumped all the way up onto Craig, missing his jewels by mere millimeters! "Well, Seth, I guess it's the couch for you! Seth looked crestfallen.
"Nonsense!" Colin said form the other room. "Seth can sleep with us!" Seth grabbed his pillow and nearly skipped to Jake and Colin's room.
In no time, Uri was asleep on Craig's chest, with his face buried in his neck, his curls nestled under his chin, while Ursula backed up to my chest and hugged my arm.
I think we were all in heaven that night.
Note: Have you ever tried to act fierce or harsh when you didn't feel that way? It either comes out as too much or too little. Well, that's what's going on in my story now. I am so much love in my real life, it is hard to be realistic in my story. I am truly in free-fall here. Good fictional writing, like good theater, needs conflict to keep the reader interested. When I was hurting, it just seemed to bubble up with no thought. Now I have to force it, and it is not coming easily. But make no mistake, there will be pitfalls, and as you know, I am a romantic -- I like a happy ending. But in the mean time ... I'll probably err on the side of ... too harsh -- so, sorry in advance. It will probably make a few mad and a few cry. But then you like to cry, don't you?!
Chapter 27
Did you know that little children can wrap you around their finger? Ursula did just that to me. I had to apologize to Craig, for falling in love with another! She is the most beautiful child I have ever seen! Maybe even more than Uri, though I don't think Craig agrees. He is so taken with that little boy! Nobody else can hardly do anything to get between them. And Uri feels the same way about Craig. I have no doubt that when they went home, both the kids whined that we were not there when they got home. They slept with Craig and me every night. I know that gave Jake and Colin a welcome break. Because neither of us really slept that much.
Of course that meant we had to be on our best bedroom behavior. But we didn't mind. We still had some nice showers together, and one afternoon we disappeared upstairs for a little afternoon delight! We felt so sneaky, and were able to let loose with all abandon. Then we found out that Rob was napping - or trying to - in his own room! Maybe his napping turned to wanking!
Both children were petrified of Etta! They took to Grandpa Jake pretty easily, but it really hurt Auntie Lindy that they did not really warm up to her right away. But then Uncle Jake kind of ignored them and Auntie Lindy tried to smother them. By the time they left, she was able to hold them without complaint, at least.
The only other one who they fancied was Seth. Seth played with them on their level. They loved him so much! He would sit Indian style for hours, entertaining them with funny noises and faces. He's going to be a great daddy some day.
Craig saw me watching Seth and the kids play and he said, "You having second thoughts about your stance on gay adoptions?"
"Not really. I still think that newborns - or any really - would be better off with a regular family."
"Whatever that means." Craig siad.
"You know what I mean."
"I can't imagine those two getting any more love anywhere else." He said. "What could be better than that?"
"Why, are you changing you thoughts on it?" I asked.
"Mmmm? I don't know. I just - it's just that I see how happy they all are, and I have seen so many bad family situations."
"That's true, but it can be bad whether gay or straight."
"So tell me again," he said, "Why is it a `regular' family is better?"
Sigh I thought he already got it!
"Well, and again I have to preface this with `all things being equal', assuming that both Uri and Ursula are straight, a mom would show each of them how a mom acts and how she should be treated. She would be a model for Ursula, and Uri's first love. That's what mom's are - or should be."
"Yeah, I can see that. I just need to be reminded. You know, my home life was not exactly ideal!"
"Mm-hmm. And I suppose you think mine was?" I added. "But mine was okay - better than most probably."
So, what do you think?" He said.
"About what?" I asked, wondering when I left the page.
"About us doing the same!"
"You mean adopting?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Craig! I don't know!" He caught me completely by surprise! "Let's finish school and some other things first, huh?"
"I know, I know! But I like to dream!"
"What if we did and what if they - or he or she - were not as adorable as those two?'
"What?"
"You can't have Uri! I can't have Ursula! Unless something awful happens to my cousin and Colin! So will you be as taken with two other little kids?
Two - or one - who weren't as cute, or maybe not as intelligent or charming. Would you be so enthusiastic then?"
"I don't know - I think - I don't - Shit!" Craig complained. "Man, you really know how to dampen an idea! All I was doing was dreaming."
I moved closer to Craig and took his hand. "MY sweet lover, we will have lots of time to consider these and lots of important things in our life. One thing I know: I want you in my life - always." We were both still focussed on Seth and the kids, but when I said that, Craig looked at me. He had tears in his eyes.
"Chris, you know I feel the same. Will we have to move to Vermont like your cousin?"
"I don't think - I just can't see what difference a piece of paper makes. I love you. You love me. We have the same rights any two lovers have. We can name each other in our wills. I like Southern California. Maybe I will feel differently in the future, but for now, our vows can be to each other."
Tears were flowing more steadily down Craig's cheeks. "Is that a proposal, my Sweet Lover?"
"Wow! I guess it was! Sorry! I fully meant to do it on one knee!"
Before we knew it we were both hugging and crying, right there in front of the family.
"Are you two all right?" Asked Auntie Lindy.
"Perfect!" Said Craig.
"It there anything the rest of us should know?" Carrie said.
"NO!" Craig sputtered, "At least not -" he looked at me. I nodded. "Okay - Chris and I just decided to get married!"
That word caught me by surprise! "Unofficially of course."
"Yeah, that's how it starts!" Jake said. "You know there is a Mormon temple in L.A."
"Huh?" we both uttered. "What" Craig said incredulously, "What does that have to do with anything?!"
"Their temples are always beautiful, with a reflection pool and overlooking the city, is all. Colin and I said our original vows at the one in Las Vegas. I guess it doesn't matter."
"Actually, the Crystal Cathedral is not very far from my parents' home." I said. "I am well aware that Rev. Schuller will not marry us, but -"
"I've been there," Carrie said, "And it is an impressive building, but there is no place there to be discreet, like at the Temple in Vegas. The only thing surrounding the Crystal Cathedral is blacktop parking lot."
"Hey," Craig said, "We just now made the commitment. I think we can figure out the details later - ourselves!" It was said with more force than he wanted, but it was my sentiment exactly!
Uncle Jake saved the day. He passed out Champaign glasses, filled them and toasted our lasting love. Everyone except Seth looked ecstatic. Seth looked wistful.
We went to my parents house on Saturday night. Jake and Colin decided that the children needed a little time away from their obvious favorite uncles, to adjust before flying home. So they stayed with his parents. I am sure that also gave Grandma and Grandpa a little more quality time with their first grandchildren. Grandchildren they thought they would never have until Carrie gave them to them.
On the drive to my parents house, we all sat in the front seat. Seth sat between us. It was pretty dark. I thought both were asleep when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over and Craig pointed down. Somehow Seth had gotten himself turned around, in his seat belt (no shoulder strap in the middle) and was laying on Craig full front, his arms around Craig's neck. I HAVE to assume he was asleep! He was sucking and drooling in Craig's neck, and humping him like he was a damned piston! Craig whispered, "What am I supposed to do?"
I whispered back, "Move, squeeze him hard - something to wake him up before -"
Just then Seth started to moan!
"Oh God!" Craig whispered, "Too late!" Then he started to snicker, and I could not hold back, I started to laugh softly and that made Craig start to laugh uncontrollably! Seth woke up!
"Wha - what's - what're you -" Seth stammered, hazily.
"I didn't do anything," Craig answered, "You did!"
"WHA! OMIGOD! I'm all w - why are you two laughing so hard?!"
"Ha ha ha! That must have been some dream, Kiddo!"
"Hey, little brother, was it anyone we know?"
Silence.
Finally Seth whispered, "Yes."
"Are you going to tell us?" I prodded.
"NO! Well - you have to promise not to tell!"
"I promise!" we both said in unison.
Then Seth smirked a little. "It was - cnolim,n."
"Umm, you're mumbling, kid!"
"I said, `it was Colin'. But you promised you wouldn't tell!"
"Does Colin know about this?" I asked, mostly kidding.
"I think so." He said. "But I'm not sure. I think he came on to me while I slept with him the other night."
"I think," I said, " that you are imagining things."
"Could be. But what he did was not my imagination! But I was afraid to ask him. Maybe he was dreaming about Jake. It was pretty hot!"
"I guess you won't be sleeping with him any more." Craig said.
"Guess not."
"Seth?"
"Yeah?"
"That kind of begs the next question, don't you think?"
"Huh?"
"Don't play naïve with me - I know you!"
"Yeah, okay."
"Well, are you?"
"I guess so." He shrugged. He said it so nonchalantly! He could as well have said, "It's dark out."
"That's it?" I asked, not quite believing what I was hearing. "You guess your gay, and that's all the emotion you can muster?"
"Why?"
"Craig and I - and Colin for that matter - and probably Jake, all agonized over this realization."
"It's not as if it happened over night."
"Who else knows?"
"Only three people."
"Who?" I think I was actually a little hurt that I was not first to know. What came next really did hurt me.
"Well, first I told my friend, Becky. She was cool with it. Then I very carefully discussed it with Ed. He took it pretty cool. Then I told Dad."
"DAD!?" I almost yelled! "How - how did he take it?"
"Very calmly. He said he suspected it for a long time. He encouraged me to investigate both sides."
"I - Shit!" I said. "I - this is not fair! That fucker gave me such a bad time and he lets you go with that?"
"Calm down, Sweetie!" Craig said. "He has had a lot of time for his eyes to be opened since your initial shocking revelation."
"I guess you're right, but - it still seems so unfair."
"Because of you," Seth said, "It made it easier for me. And I am - well, thank you so much, bro!"
"And what about Ed? How - is he still your friend?"
"Ohhh yeahhh!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"He lets me suck him!"
"And he doesn't reciprocate?" Craig asked.
"No - I never asked him to. I like it!"
"Seth you can't let people use you!" I said.
"I don't feel that way. I get off!" He now was starting to sound defensive.
"Oh? How?" I said almost sarcastically.
"He let's me put it in his bum."
"OMIGOD, Seth!" I exclaimed.
"What?"
"Seth," Craig explained, "Sex is supposed to be something special. The way you are talking, it sounds so humdrum. It just - it worries us."
Again Seth got defensive. "What do YOU care?! Your not my brother!"
"Yes, I am, Seth." Craig said very calmly. I'm glad that Craig was doing the talking. I wasn't feeling quite that calm. "I love you almost as much as Chris does. You are my little brother."
By this time, Seth had extricated himself from Craig, and was sitting arms crossed between us. Craig put his hands on Seth's shoulders, and turned him toward him. "We both care deeply about you, Seth. If you don't know that by now, you are pretty lame!" It was said with calmness and love.
"What - what - uh - unh -" Seth started sobbing a little. "What am I supposed to do?"
"The first thing your supposed to do is uncross those arms and lay your head back on my chest." Seth did as he was told. "There. Is that better?"
"yeah-huh" Seth muttered.
"Now, first off, how old is Ed?"
"Ed is sixteen" Seth said.
"The first thing you will need to do is find a way to break off the sex with him."
"Why?"
"In a few months you will be eighteen and he will still be sixteen or seventeen. Underage! You could get in a lot of trouble!"
"But he would never -"
"Seth. Listen to me and listen very carefully: I am only two years older than you, but a lot has happened to me - and to you, by the way - in those two years. I know I am right on this point. He may be the sweetest guy in the world as far as you are concerned. And maybe he wouldn't or maybe he would never say anything - but his parents would definitely not only say something, but prosecute! You KNOW how most parents react when their child is threatened - and you also know that any parent would like to blame their son's gayness on a third party. His gay tendencies have nothing to do with you, but his parents won't see it that way."
"I never said Ed was gay."
"YEAH! `He let's me put it in his bum', but he's not gay! Seth you're seventeen, not 12! I'm not going to even tell you to open your eyes. You KNOW! You just don't want to give up your fuck-buddy!" I was getting hot - too hot - about this.
"Calm down, Chris!" Craig reminded me again. For a moment, I saw red! I looked over at the two of them, seeming to me to be conspiring against me! As I was looking at them, Craig looked away for a moment, and at the headlights of the oncoming semi-truck heading directly at us - or rather I was heading at it! In it's lane!
"CHRIS! LOOK OUT!" He screamed. He grabbed the steering wheel and jerked it to the right. We went careening off the edge of the road, hearing the haunting blare of the trucks air-horns that I still can vividly remember. We were driving south on 101. There could just as easily been a cliff for us to topple off of. Instead there was a copse of trees that we entered. God or one of his angels must have been guiding the car. We narrowly missed so many trees. It was pretty thickly wooded, and we drove right through the midst of them, not hitting any! All of this happened in a matter of seconds!
When we came to a stop, We all sat there, completely stunned for at least a minute and a half. Then I started to sob. I don't know, maybe the relief, and the excitement and the terror all at once was too much for me - to say nothing of the fact I had very nearly gotten us all killed!
"I - (sob) I'm such an idiot! I'm so sorry! I just about got us killed! I -"
Craig leaned over Seth and put his hand behind my neck and put his lips on my own, and held them there for a few long moments. "Shut up, sweetheart!"
"But -"
"Not now! Just be quiet for now, K?"
"sigh! K."
"Now, lets take the most important thing first." Craig said. "First of all, I happen to agree with you, Chris. Seth, Chris is absolutely and positively right about this. When he and I started rooming together, I didn't think I was - didn't ever even consider it - that I was gay. He was just a friend. When we first were intimate, it was something I was deeply ashamed of and would tell nobody about. I STILL didn't think I was gay! Your friend and friendship with this Ed is the same. If you don't cut it off now, you can't say where it may go. Does that make sense to you"
Seth just sat there. He just stared foreward out the glass.
"Seth! SETH! Do you - can you hear me?" Craig yelled. Then he leaned closer to Seth's nose and mouth. "CHRIS! HE'S not BREATHING! OMIGOD! SETH!" Craig unbuckled his belt, which was so tight that he couldn't have breathed if he wanted. When he did that, Seth fell forward. Craig pounded him on the back. Nothing. I grabbed him and opened my door, I don't know why, maybe to get some fresh air. I started to drag him out of the car, when I guess stretching him out - or something - made his diaphragm contract and take in some air. He gasped and choked, then threw up. I was crying again, Seth was too, and Craig had jumped out his door and was running around the car. By the time Craig got there, I had Seth on the ground on his back.
"Seth, buddy," Craig said, "Are you - alright?" He said it so calmly and sweetly.
"I - I think so." He said. "Except for one thing."
"What is it buddy?"
"I think I crapped my pants." Then he started crying again and turned over and threw up again. How his vomit missed me both times, I'll never know.
"Do you - do you need help cleaning up?" Craig said. Then he cracked a mischievous smile. "I'd LOVE to help you clean up, Seth!" He then looked at me and arched his brows a couple times. We all laughed at that.
"I think I can take care of it myself, if you will get me my suitcase out of the car. It didn't go beyond my panties!" He giggled a little at that. He stood up. "Groan! I must have bruised something! Maybe I will let you help me - JUST KIDDING!"
He went behind a tree and did what needed to be done. As he came back he said, "By the way, to save you some breath, I heard everything you were saying to me, Craig. I just was - er - paralyzed, I guess. It was weird actually, I could not even move my eyes."
"So," Craig said, "If you heard me, what do you think?" Craig was so focussed!
"Yeah, I know you're right." He said, looking at the ground. "Ed doesn't mean that much to me, but it really sucks not to be able to talk to anyone about my - situation."
"Tell me about it!" Craig and I said almost at once. "So, Christy, are you still okay to drive, or do you want me to."
"Maybe you better. You sure you don't have to change YOUR panties?" I said.
"I don't think so - hmm - maybe so - wanna help me?"
"OOO! Can I watch?" Seth said.
"SHUT UP!" We both answered him. We all were laughing so hard as the truck driver walked up to us.
"Was that funny!?" She said. Boy, she was pissed!
"OH! We're not - who are you?"
"I was driving the truck that nearly creamed you!"
"We're so sorry - I am SO sorry! No, we were laughing at something totally unrelated. I'm glad you stopped. Are you okay?"
"You mean other than crapping my pants?" That set us all off again. She walked away shaking her head. I ran ahead and caught up with her.
"Please don't be too mad - at least about that. You see, my brother actually DID crap his pants!"
"So did I, ass hole!" And she was gone.
When I got back to the car, Craig and Seth were giggling uncontrollably. "WHAT??" I said.
"We heard what you said to each other." And they started laughing again.
"We better be back on out way." I said.
"So are we agreed that Mom and Dad never hear about this?" Seth said.
"Absolutely!" I said. "They would never let you see us again!"
"I love you so much!" Seth said. "Both of you!"
We all hugged and got in the car and proceeded home. No one fell asleep!
Chapter note. As usual, comments can be sent to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. I hope none of you messed your pants reading this one! I almost did, but then I really get into my characters! (Actually I just got involved with my story and waited too long - almost!)