I have been informed that it would be a good idea to state a few warning comments. There may be graphic sexual scenes between men in this story, so please, if this offends you, or it is illegal or you are underaged to read such, stop here and hit your "back" button. If it is okay with you, read on and enjoy.
From Chapter 24
"You okay, Craig?" I said, as I drove 101 toward home.
"What did you think of last night?" He said.
"It was - different. Kind of fun, I guess. Actually a LOT of fun! HOT! Are you - okay - with it?"
"I guess," he countered, "I feel a little funny about it."
"But last night you were the one who was really into it." I offered.
"I know. I guess that's what was bothering me." He said, "That and -"
"What, sweetie? What is it?"
"I really miss my parents! I wish Dad would write or something." I looked over and saw tears starting to creep down his face. I reached over and touched his hand. That seemed to give him permission. He laid his head on my shoulder, wrapped his hands around my torso and held on, while his shoulders silently shook. My mind was reeling. What now?
Chapter 25
I was at a loss. I didn't really know what was worrying Craig, so I didn't know what to do. I sat there having a silent stroke, at the same time trying to lend some compassion to my lover. Then it hit me. Whatever Craig was experiencing was not mine to fix. He would talk to me about it - of that I was pretty sure. So I just relaxed and decided to let go and stop trying to outguess him. All I could do now was to love him. And wait.
I didn't have to wait long. As soon as we stepped in the door at home, he said, "Chris, I'm sorry to put you through hell again. And that's not my intention. First of all, I want to tell you that I still love you more than anything I've ever loved before."
Why did I hear a "but" in there somewhere.?
"It's just - it's just -"
Here it comes. I didn't hurry him. I sat there and held his hand, peering into his eyes, trying to divine something.
"I - I - don't know how to even express how I am feeling." He said. I continued to wait, unconsciously stroking his hand. "I am okay now - I think - with being - with being (AHEM!) gay. Wow! That was hard to say! I just - am not -" He sighed big. "I guess - I'm still pretty - I guess I have a super sensitive guilt gland! I LOVED what we did last night. I LOVED it! Jake and I were the ones who - pushed - you and Colin into it! But - I don't want to do that any more!
He didn't speak for probably a full minute. I said, "Is that it? Is that all it is?"
"Yes! - No! - YES!"
"Okay, sweetie, tell me the rest!" I said as gently as I could.
"Okay, I guess there IS more." He said. "I don't want to - to be - to be - DAMN IT! This is hard! Okay, I don't want my parents to rule my life, but can you understand that I want to be able to say to them, if my dad ever accepts me as - (Shit!) you know!- Well, I want to be able to tell him - them - truly that we are not - not - promiscuous! I KNOW they would not view what we did lost night as anything else. They, or most married couples for that matter - would never do anything like that. And I feel the same really. Our love means so much to me. Stuff like last night - well it makes me feel guilty afterward - and it - cheapens what we have, I think. SIGH! Damn! That was like shittin' a brick! Do you - do you understand at all?"
"Craig." I said. "C'mere." He moved over closer to me on the couch. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him gently, but firmly. I whispered in his ear, "I love you so much, my darling Craig! I do know AND understand what you are saying. And you can see that Colin was feeling - er - kind of ill-at-ease too, until he got a case of the horns and just gave in to it. You - me - Colin - we all have parents who are not so - well not so liberal in their thinking as my Uncle Jake and Aunt Lindy - and the whole family! I'm quite honestly surprised that Carrie hasn't gotten Rob in the sack yet. I have so much respect for him for that! It makes me feel weak in comparison. So, yes! I get it! If you don't want to - if you want to stay out of situations like that, then I have no problem with that." I didn't realize just how stressed Craig was until he began to relax, after I said that.
"Chris - Baby - We need to talk more - more often!" He said. "Gosh, last night? I thought you wanted to do that. I THOUGHT I wanted to do it! And we both got into it!"
"But," I said, "We won't any more! My love - my physical, sexual love - is reserved for you - and you, alone! And, also?"
"What?"
"Let's leave poor Rob alone, too, k?"
"Boy, what an angel he is!"
From the other room, "Thanks guys!"
"Omigod! Have you been there the whole time?" I said.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. But before I knew it, it was too late to say anything, and I didn't want to spoil your conversation." Rob said. "But I want you to know - I appreciate and love both of you as my brothers! And I support you in your decision! Whoever says that heterosexuals have a monopoly on morality, is fucked up!"
"ROB!" We both exclaimed together!
"Sometimes there is just no other way to express some things! I too was part of that fucked up scene until I met Chris. You guys are the sweetest and best friends I ever had. Please, lets never drift apart!"
It was late so we headed off to bed. There was still another week of vacation from school, but we were tired, and we all had to work the next day, albeit not too early. Craig and I showered together, and made some very sweet, easy going love before drifting off to sleep in each others arms. Just before Craig said good night and kissed me with an "I love you more and more each day!" Then he whispered , "Hee hee! I'll bet Rob still wanks-in-time to us!"
After school started up again, from the Christmas break, there was only two weeks of intense studies - for finals - before the end of the semester. We all did okay. About a week and a half into the new term, the phone rang: I'm going to let Craig narrate this part.
"Hello?"
"Is Craig there?"
"This is Craig."
"This is your father."
"DAD! I didn't recognize your voice!"
"I'm afraid I'm - not quite myself."
"How are - what's wrong, Dad?"
"It's your mom - Son, she -" Dad then broke down and started to sob.
"Dad - DAD! Please, what - ? Please tell me, what happened. Is she -"
"Craig - son - you're all I have now! Please come back and - and - help me."
I think I stood there for a full five minutes trying to grasp what he just said. I could hear him sobbing on the other end of the line.
Finally, "Dad - I - I don't know what to say, Dad. I - of course I'm coming back! Have you - have you made any - any - arrangements?"
I was afraid to ask him what happened, but it was by now evident my mom had died or been killed or something. My dad was in such a state that I couldn't get anything from him.
"Dad, hold on a minute." I covered the phone and spoke to Chris. "Chris - Chris - Oh God! I -" Then it was I who broke down. Chris didn't have a clue, but he wrapped me in his arms. "Dad," I said, sobbing, "I'll call you back in a couple minutes, when I can get myself together. You try to do the same, huh? I love you, Dad! Bye"
"Craig! What in the world!"
This is too hard for me to tell about, even now, so Chris will have to finish this:
Craig said to me, "Chris, my - my - my mom has died!" Then he lost it altogether. He sobbed and gasped and sobbed on my shoulder for at least ten minutes, all the while I was rubbing and patting his back and kissing his head and neck and shoulders, and talking softly to him.
"Chris, I have to go back."
"Of course you do." I answered.
"What's going on?" Rob walked in.
"Craig just got a call from his dad. His mom has died suddenly."
"Oh my God!" Rob said. "Is there - is there anything I can do?"
Craig was still too upset, so I answered. "I don't think - well - do you have a good travel agent?"
"Of course!" He said (as if to say, "Doesn't everyone?")
Maybe you could arrange a flight for Craig to Cincinnati as soon as possible. As a matter of fact," I said, as I put my hand under Craig's chin and lifted his tear streaked face to mine and looked into his red eyes, "Make two reservations?" Craig nodded. "Yes two reservations. I'm going too!"
"I'll get right on it - from my phone in my room. Only I'm making three!"
Craig let out a huge shuddering sigh! "I guess - I guess I better call my dad."
Craig dialed his home number. "Dad. Are you in control enough to talk?" Craig said. "Yeah, we're coming. (pause) yes, I did say `we'. My two roommates are coming with me. (pause) Dad, don't start! No! I'm only - only one of them is my - my - partner. The other isn't - isn't gay! (pause) He's my friend, dad. He wants to come. Yes of course he wants to come, too. But Rob just loves us both - even though he is STRAIGHT, Dad! I'll let you know when we will be there. (pause) No, Rob is making the reservations. Dad, don't worry about it! Is anyone there to - to stay with you til we get there? Can I talk to her? (pause) Hi, Aunt Cathy. Yes, My friend Rob is making the arrangements as we speak. I will call and let you know as soon as I know. (pause) No, Rob is just a roommate. (pause) Yes he's coming, too. They both are coming. Okay, good bye, Aunt Cathy. Thanks, I love you, too. Bye"
Craig looked at me. "Wow!" I said. "Are you sure we should go?"
"Definitely!" He said. "The second most important person in my life just - just (sob!) died! (another shuddering sigh) I'm not going back there without my most important beside me - to support me!"
"Craig, c'mere!" He came to me. I wrapped him in my arms, then laid us both down on the bed. We both cried for a long time. I had never met his mom, but my sweetheart was hurting, so of course I felt it deeply.
Rob came in the room. "We leave in the morning. Carrie will drive us to LAX."
Craig responded first. "OH! In the morning? What - how - that doesn't leave us any time to contact our professors."
"It's all taken care of." Rob said. "My dad's secretary is going to contact the University and she will make any arrangements that need to be made. We may need to e-mail some of them from back there, but that won't be a problem."
"How much do I owe you?" Craig said.
"Me, too!" I added. "Since I kind of invited myself -"
"Nothing! My treat!" Rob said.
"Rob, you can't -" both of us retorted in unison.
"Yes! I can! Besides, Dad's secretary was able to get a special bereavement rate from the airline. Just forget about it!" What he didn't tell us was that the only reservation that was the bereavement rate was Craigs. That wasn't all he withheld from us, as you will discover momentarily.
The next morning, we went to the big house for an early breakfast. I expected Auntie Lindy to be up and making it. But not only was the whole family there, but Etta was up too, and in the kitchen. As soon as we walked in she walked directly to Craig. "Ebby-ting gona be aw-right, Craiggy baby!" She never hugged any of us, but she did Craig! "You mommy in a nize place! Etta know dis!"
Etta had fixed us some hot oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar, and coddled eggs, and toast. She knew exactly what we needed.
When we got to the airport, and said our good-byes to Carrie, (that damned Rob! How could he NOT be boinking her, the way he was kissing her!) Rob paid the guy outside the terminal to hack and stow our bags, then led us past the long lines, directly up to the terminal. Well, I figured, they were electronic tickets, so that was not unusual. But then We were the first to enter the plane! When they called for the flight club members, Rob said, "Let's go! That's us!" We were the first to enter the plane and were seated in the front section - first class!
"Rob!" Both Craig and I whined!
"Ahem!" Rob started, "You think my dad would let me travel any way but first class?"
Wow! Rob sat on the other side of the aisle from us, with no one beside him. Craig and I were able to raise the armrest between us to make the seats into a reclining love seat!
AS soon as we were in the air, I got a look at what goes on in first class. There was a steward (a VERY CUTE steward!) just for first class. Hee hee, since it was obvious that Craig and I were together, he did not bother us - but he was super extra nice to us, seeing as we were obviously gay! But I noticed him paying way more attention to Rob than he was to us or the other two patrons in first class! Once when it got bumpy, he even sat next to Rob! I was struggling to keep a straight face!
I sat next to the widow. The food in first class - well it was not like a fine restaurant - but compared to what was being served in coach, it was - well - first class!
After our lunch was served was the only time our Steward left us, to help out serving to the "rabble" behind us. Craig went to sleep on my chest. I felt like giving the finger to this one matronly lady who kept glaring at us! But I was a good boy, and ignored it, even if SHE was being rude!
We set down in Cincinnati just before dinner time. Craig's Aunt Cathy picked us up. She was Craig's dad's sister. She was one of those "take charge" types. Good thing! Craig's dad was a mess. It had to be hard for him. His life's companion gone and his only child - gay! A lot to deal with, I guess! Craig's aunt insisted we all call her "Aunt Cathy".
Aunt Cathy took us out for a really nice dinner, then we went to Craig's home. We had no idea what to expect, when we stepped in the door. They lived in a nice, but old section of Cincinnati. Aunt Cathy had told us she thought she had softened her brother up quite a bit since she arrived.
When we walked in the door, and though the small entry, Craig's dad was sitting in a chair - definitely HIS chair. He did not move until Craig walked up to his chair and waited. He stood slowly and then wrapped his arms around his boy. He started to sob, then remembering us, he stopped. "Thank you for coming, Son!" I, for one, knew how good Craig felt when his dad called him that.
After both of them sniffed a few times, Craig said, "This is Rob." Only because he was standing closer.
"Yes, we've met," Craig's dad said, "But under quite different circumstances. Please accept my apologies for my rudeness, Rob." I was afraid Rob was going to hug him, but he didn't.
"And Dad, this is Chris, my - - - my partner"
I stepped up, rather stiffly, and grasped his hand. He gave me a very firm handshake, then said, "Welcome! Welcome to my family, - - Son!"
This hit me so hard, I teared up and could not talk. He then pulled me into a close hug. He then pulled back enough to look me in the eye. "I'm sorry I have caused you boys so much grief!"
Beyond Craig's dad I caught Craig's face. His tears were flowing in torrents! He then stepped closer and wrapped his arms around both of us, and we all cried together. I wondered why Rob did not also get in on this, as he was the hugger- mugger! He told me later, that he thought better of it. It was a moment between the three of us. I did notice that Aunt Cathy had stepped closer to Rob and was holding his hand.
"I did a lot of soul searching after I came down so hard on you, Craig." His dada told him. "I hope you can forgive me. I was worried that I had completely alienated you, and you would never want to step into my presence again. I have to tell you it caused a formidable rift between your mom and me. Thank God we got past that before she - left me. I am so happy that you are here to share the brunt of this with me. I know it would have been hard for you all alone, too." He looked at me, smiled, then added, "Of course you aren't exactly all alone are you?" He then looked at his sister.
"Cathy, would you please show Chris and Rob to their room. Craig, if you don't mid too much, I would like you to stay with me in my room at least until the funeral. Chris and Rob can bunk together for a couple nights?
He looked at me, I looked at Rob and back, then nodded.
"You boys may get hungry," Aunt Cathy said, "There are cold cuts and sandwich makings in the fridge. Whenever you want, help yourselves. Chris and Rob, come with me, I'll show you to your room."
"Never mind, Aunt Cathy," Craig said, I can show them. It's my old room isn't it?"
"Yes, Dear."
As soon as the three of us got into the room and shut the door, Craig threw himself at me, and clung to me for long moments. I looked past him, and Rob looked kind of left out. As if he had read my mind, Craig turned from me and gave Rob a similar hug. "Rob, I don't know what to say! You have been the best brother I could hope for. I love you so much!" Rob was a deep shade of crimson.
"Dude, I'm so sorry that your mom died, but assuming she is in a 'nize place' ,as Etta said, it's so great that your dad has softened. Boy Etta sure was righ on about that!"
"I know." Craig said, and he laid his head on Robs chest as he stretched out his hand to me. I jioned them in a three-way hug.
The funeral was very nice. Craig slept in his dad's room while we were there. He said it was a great time to bond in a way he had never connected with his dad before. He said his dad hugged him for long periods of time. He figured it was hard for his dad contemplating sleeping alone, but still it was such a comfort being so close to his dad at night. He said they seemed to be touching all night long, every night, and the last night Craig said he didn't sleep much, because his dad held him from the rear all night long. But he didn't really need to sleep, he said, and it felt so good to be so close to his dad.
In the mean time, Rob and I made mad passionate love in the other room. JUST KIDDING! Rob actually slept, with a separate blanket, outside the sheets on our bed. It actually made me a little irritated, until I decided he might be afraid of his reaction if we got too close. I know he loves me!
It just sometimes is hard for the body to tell the difference between sexual and non-sexual love - I guess!
Carrie picked us up at the airport and handed me a letter addressed to both me and Craig, from Vermont.
"Dear Cuz and cuz-in-law,
"First the local news. It seems like there is an early spring were. It's been so warm - in the upper 50's - when there should still be snow in the ground. The trees are starting to bud out. Another freeze could mess up the normal blooming. I hope it doesn't. Spring here is so beautiful! The two scuz-bums that attacked Seth have been convicted, and not only for the things we knew about. They were up for several other, even worse charges. They attacked and raped a 12 y.o.boy and his 13 y.o. sister over in New Hampshire, and also robbed a convenience store in that same community. They have been locked up for a long time.
"We are planning to come for Easter. We have a big favor to ask you. Do you two think you could consider being godparents to our 2 new children? We have all but completed all the paperwork and are adopting 2 refugee children from the Ukraine. These are such beautiful kids! I can't believe they aren't already taken. But I guess there are kids all over Eastern Europe like this. They both have curly blond hair - lots of it. The little boy, Uri, is 3 and his sister, Ursula, is 4.
"Now here's the hard part. We want you and Craig to come here the week before Easter to a special blessing that will occur when the papers are finally signed, and the kids are delivered to us. They won't be here from their native country until the day before, so the timing is really critical.
"We of course want and have asked that everyone be here, but it may not be possible at that time. Of course my dad and I (heavy on the DAD side!) would take care of the accommodations, flights and all.
"Love, and hope it all can work out! Jake (and Colin too!)
Chapter notes: Any comments can be addressed to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com.